07x05 - Generics and Indians

[bunniefuu]

-Hello, people.

I'm Howie, and this is Bobby,
and welcome to another show.
-No, Howie, this
is Bobby's World.
-I know that.

What, what are
you talking about?
-Well, you said,
welcome to another show.
We don't work on another show.

We work on this show.

-Well, that's what it meant.

I mean, if they're
watching, then
they, they know it's this show.

-How do you know they're
not watching another show.
-Well, some people are, but
I'm not talking to them.
-Then neither am
I. How dare they.
-Just start the show.

[MUSIC PLAYING - THEME SONG]

-Oh, I love book sales.

They just crank my gee
golly motor, don't ya know.
-Mom!

Mom!

I want to get new books, too.

Can I?

Can I?

Ah!

-Perhaps you would like to
join our story telling group.
It will give you a
chance to sit down
and cool your busy little jets.

-Oh, a little quiet story time.

Doesn't that just sound
like fun there, now?
-Welcome to our story
circle, boys and girls.
Now, who has a favorite
story they'd like to hear.
-I have a favorite story.

I do!

I do!

-And your name is?

-Bobby.

-All right, Bobby.

If you tell me the name
of your favorite story,
I'll see if I have it here.

-This is a really
good story, OK?
It's about
Thanksgiving and the--
-Bobby, bobby, when I asked
you about your favorite story,
I meant a story that
was written down.
-That's OK.

You don't have to write it down.

I have it all in my head.

I remember exactly
how it happened.
Mom made me a Pilgrim
costume, because I
was in a play at school.

-Don't forget your
Pilgrim's hat.
That's the best part of
the whole shootin' match.
-Woo.

[THINKING] I bet she'll say
I look cute in this thing.
-Aww, will you look
at how gee golly cute
you are there, now, yeah?

-[THINKING] Told you.

[NARRATING] Everybody was
'cited about the play.
Our family was really 'cited,
'cause right after the play,
we were going to drive to
Flagpole, Arizona in a brand
new van that dad
had just bought.
We were going to visit
Grandma and Grandpa
Generic for Thanksgiving.

Jerome?

Why are you dressed like that?

-My teacher said to come
dressed in a costume.
-Some people just don't get it.

-Hi, Bobby.

-Wanna hear my line?

When we think of Thanksgiving,
we think of turkey.
I'll never forget it.

I memorized it.

-That's very
professional, Bobby.
Some of the kids are coming
over to my house after the play.
You wanna come?

-We're leaving
right after the play
to go to Flagpole,
Arizona for Thanksgiving.
Everybody's 'cited
about it but me.
I wanna stay home
and do what we always
do, 'cause doing something
else might not be any fun.
-Hey, what's with Clark?

-Oof!

I hate this dumb hat.

What are you doing, Clark?

-[TREMBLING] Hiding.

I've never been in a play
before, and I'm scared.
-But there's nothing
to be scared about.
That's why they call
it a play, because it's
supposed to be fun.

[GULPING] There's
too many people.
Uh-oh, I think I'm scared.

[APPLAUSE]

-Ow.

Um, um, when we think
of Thanksgiving, um,
MARTHA GENERIC:
[WHISPERING] Oh, excuse me.
[ANNOYED EXCLAMATIONS]

-Well, doesn't that beat all?

We're in the wrong
row, here, then.
[ANNOYED EXCLAMATIONS]

BOBBY GENERIC: Excuse me!

When we think of Thanksgiving,
we think of turkey.
There.

-Oh Howard, get this
precious moment on camcorder,
for the cry eye!

-Look over here, Albert!

-Marcy, wave to mommy!

Here I am!

-Look over here, Bobby.

Over here, son!

-This is great.

Look at that, Bobby.

OK, now just do, just
do something cute.
[PARENTS CALLING TO THEIR
CHILDREN]
-I guess parents are
made to be embarassing.
CLASSMATE 1 [FROM
CAR]: Bye, Bobby!
[HORN HONKING]

CLASSMATE 2 [FROM CAR]: See ya.

BOBBY GENERIC
[NARRATING]: And that
was another embarrassing
thing, how far away
dad parked 'cause
we had a new car.
-Stupid hat.

-[PANTING] How much
further, Howard?
-Not far.

MARTHA GENERIC:
Oh, for corn sakes,
where'd you park, Howard?

On a desert island?

-Desert island?

-I'm just slowing ya'
down, dontcha know?
[GASPING] Go on without me.

-No, mom, we're
going to the new car,
and we're going to
get there together.
MARTHA GENERIC: What in the
Sam Hills of Wisconsin is that?
-A Futurama.

Isn't it a beauty?

It was designed for
nothing but comfort.
-Ow!

Ooh!

-Oh!

-Oh!

-Do I have to hold
Roger the whole way?
-You'll all have to take
turns with Roger on your lap.
And watch out for the
cooler, back there.
I don't want anybody knocking
over my corn pudding,
dontcha know.

-Ugh, Mom!

Does Bobby have to
wear this stupid hat?
It's totally taking
up all the room!
BOBBY GENERIC [NARRATING]:
All of a sudden, I was really
starting to like
my hat. [GIGGLING]
-Mom!

-What are you trying
to do, Aunt Ruth?
-Well, I can't,
for the life of me,
figure out how to turn
this halogen-powered, state
of the art reading
light on, Bobby.
-Maybe you have to push
one of these buttons.
Woo hoo, hoo, hoo, hee, hee!

Woo!

Yeah!

[ANNOYED YELLING AT ROGER]

[ROGER BARKING]

-Oh, that's all
over you, dear, oh.
-OK everybody, we have
a long trip ahead of us,
so I suggest that we all
just sit back and enjoy
traveling in the
van of the future.
-The van of the future?

Wow, this is great!

Uh-oh.

Stop!

Gotta go to the bathroom.

[BRAKES SQUEALING]

-Not now!

-Wait!

What happened in outer space?

-Yeah, did you ever get
to your grandmama's house?
-I really can't say.

-And why is that, Bobby?

-Gotta go to the bathroom.

And I'll tell you the rest
when I come back. [GIGGLING]
I'm back.

[KIDS CHEERING]

-I'm sure we're all glad to
have Bobby back, but now, how
about the story of how Mr. And
Mrs. Bluejay built their nest?
-No, I want to
hear Bobby's story!
[KIDS YELLING]

KIDS CHANTING: Bobby!

Bobby!

Bobby!

Bobby!

Bobby!

-In that case, why don't
you finish your story, dear.
-OK, uh, where was I?

-You were in the van of
the future in outer space.
-Yeah!

So this is the rest
of what happened.
[PEOPLE YELLING IN PANIC]

KID IN BOOKSTORE:
What was happening?
Were you getting hit by
a monster meteor shower?
-Um, yeah.

Yeah, yeah, that's it.

A monster meteor shower.

-[VIBRATING] Go left, dad!

Go right!

No, left!

Dive under the big one!

-Well Bobby, for corn
sakes, hold it down, there.
You're driving everybody
crazy with that jiggly
talking, there.

-[VIBRATING] I
can't help it, mom.
My seat's shaking, and
I can't make it stop.
-[VIBRATING] Knock
it off, Bobby.
-Sorry, Kelly.

-Wow, cool!

I look totally Courtney Love.

Ugh, what the-- ugh.

BOBBY GENERIC
[NARRATING]: Something
really bad had happened.

Dad had left early so he could
avoid being stuck in traffic,
and now we were stuck with all
the other people who left early
so they wouldn't get
stuck in traffic.
-I knew we should have
stayed home and done
what we always do
on Thanksgiving.
I knew doing something
new would be no fun.
-Oh, look on the
bright side, Bob-o,
by the time the sun comes
up, we'll be at the museum
and be first in line
for the guided tour.
HOWARD GENERIC: Ha, no way.

Nobody's going on
any tours, Ted.
Get the maps, Martha.

We're going to have to
reroute the whole trip.
We should be able to make
better time going north.
-Yeah, yeah, north
is up, right ?
Sure, yeah, you bet, OK.

Let's take a look see, here, and
make a battle plan, then, yeah.
-A battle plan?

This is w*r.

It's us against the other cars.

We'll fight 'em on
highways, on the off ramps,
and in the carpool lanes.

We'll fight, and we'll win.

-Right.

I say we'll get off
on the Slausen exit,
hang a right at the
Grass Valley cut off,
and beat every other
car on the road.
-Too boring.

I say we win with gadgets.

-What do you say, General Bobby?

-I say,

-[MARTHA'S VOICE COMING FROM
BOBBY] I don't know how much
more of this my corn
pudding can take.
-Howard, I need fresh ice.

We're minutes away from
Clot and Curdle, here.
-Can I have some fried fruit
on a stick, some grease jerky--
-No, and no.

And don't ask me about any other
gee golly junk food, either.
Ooh.

BOBBY GENERIC: OK,
then can I ask you
about how come
most of the people
here have more
fingers than teeth?
-Mute your bugle, Bobby.

Let's go round up
a bag of cubes.
-This is great!

I'm getting all my Christmas
shopping done in one place.
BOBBY GENERIC
[NARRATING]: I didn't
get any petrified
dinosaur fur I wanted,
and we still had a long
time to go before we
got to grandma and
grandpa's house.
I was starting to really
not like this trip.
But then I saw Something that
make me feel a lot better.
Kelly was going to
drive, and that was good,
because she always
drives really fast.
[ROCK MUSIC PLAYING]

[TIRES SQUEALING]

HOWARD GENERIC:
Hold it right there!
BOBBY GENERIC [NARRATING]:
Kelly never even made it out
of the parking lot.

-How's it going, Bob-o?

-Not so good, Uncle Ted.

There's nothing to
do in here, and it's
too dark to see
anything out there.
-I was just thinking
about how we're all alone
in our little van, out here, and
how the Pilgrims were all alone
out on the ocean in
their little boat,
both of us trying
to get somewhere
and wondering how long
it was going to take.
-Yeah, just like the Pilgrims.

KELLY GENERIC: Ugh, yo
h* h*, are we there, yet?
Ugh, OK, so we've been
at sea for two months,
and, like, this
ocean air is making
my hair totally frizz, OK?

-Never fear, Pilgrim Kelly,
with Captain Bobby at the helm,
we'll be there
before you know it.
I've got a corn putting, here,
that's not long for this world,
you know.

Let's see a little less show,
and a lot more gee golly go,
Captain Bobby.

-You've got it, Pilgrim Mom.

UNCLE TED: Whoops!

That's an upset stomach.

[BELCH] Oh, big pardon.

-What's the matter, Uncle Ted?

-Oh, not feeling so good, Bob-o.

Must have been that six-pack of
jumbo extra spicy garlic chili
cheese corn dogs I ate while
I was doing my shopping.
You think?

-Oh Ted, why don't
you let me get
behind the wheel for a while.

-That sounds like a
great idea, Ruthy.
BOBBY GENERIC [NARRATING]:
It sounded like a great idea,
but it wasn't.

[SNORING]

[HORN HONKING]

[SCREAMING]

-Huh?

Aunt Ruth!

We're still here.

What happened?

You were supposed to be driving.

-Well, I know that.

But I got up here,
and then I realized
I didn't pack my
driving glasses,
and, and well, you were
all resting so peacefully,
and I didn't want
to wake you up.
So I just took a little
naparooski of my own.
-What?

What, what did, what
did you just say?
I can't, I can't
believe this, Ruth.
BOBBY GENERIC [NARRATING]:
Dad was pretty mad,
but he was really mad when he
couldn't get the van started.
HOWARD GENERIC: Oh,
for crying out loud!
Ruth, you left the lights on,
and now the battery's dead!
-Yep.

We were all alone stuck
in the middle of nowhere.
And you know what that
means, we were in trouble.
Yep.

Our car was broken down
in the middle of nowhere,
and we were in big trouble, but
this is taking a really long
time, so maybe you
want to talk, now.
-No, no, no, my story can wait.

I want to find out
what happened to you.
-Well, that's when things
started to get exciting.
[BABIES CRYING]

-Ugh, what in the name of
24-hour roadside assistance
are we going to
do now, then, yet?
-OK, here's the plan.

Derek and Bobby and I can go and
try to find a phone somewhere
and we'll call for help.

MARTHA GENERIC: H-
hold it right there,
Ms. Spandex Pants,
if we're going
to be lost in the
wilderness, you're
going to stay put so we can all
be lost together, dontcha know.
BOBBY GENERIC [NARRATING]: I
wasn't exactly sure what mom
was saying, but I knew one
thing, together or alone,
we were lost.

-I can't believe this, Ted.

-Yep, it's true, Howard.

We're right smack dab in
the heart of Indian country.
-We are?

How do you know, Uncle Ted?

-Well, I saw the same road
in that TV movie of the week
last week.

You know the, the one
about the group of Indians
who were taken over by space
aliens and then later on--
-Indians!

Indians!

Who might really be aliens!

Wow.

-Uh, you must have seen
Drums Along the Milky Way.
-I watched it with my Uncle Ted.

Are you aliens or real Indians?

-Native Americans is the
politically correct term, son,
but you can call me Douglas.

-And I'm Franklin.

-And I'm Bobby, and
I'm 'Merican, too.
-Nice to meet you, Bobby.

-Hi, I'm Howard Generic, and,
and boy, am I glad to see you.
The battery's dead.

Can I borrow some jumper cables?

-Sorry, don't have any.

And there's no gas
stations around here,
but I can offer you a
tow to my family's place.
We were just on the way
there for Thanksgiving.
Well, thanks a lot.

That would be great.

BOBBY GENERIC [NARRATING]:
Yep, Franklin and Douglas
were going to take
us to their house,
and just wait 'til you
see where they lived!
-Wow.

Look at all these neat Indian
teepees Is this where you live?
DOUGLAS: Although a
lot of Native American
lived in wigwams, not all of
them used homes like these.
-Actually, this is a hotel.

It belongs to our grandfather.

How else would he get plumbers
to come over on Thanksgiving?
[LAUGHING]

UNCLE TED: Oh-h*,
that's a good one.
Hey, hey, I've got one for you.

What did the plumber
say when he pulled
the rabbit out of the sink?

-Hare in the drain.

[LAUGHING]

-I love that one!

-Hey!

You knew that one!

You got any others?

BOBBY GENERIC
[NARRATING]: As soon
as we jumped into
our teepee room,
mom made everybody
start taking showers,
and Franklin's wife
gave us big towels
to wear while our
clothes were being
washed in the motel laundry.

-Sorry, I can't find
jumper cables anywhere.
It's Thanksgiving, and
everybody's out of town,
but tomorrow's another day.

In the meantime, my
family would like
invite you to join
us for dinner.
-Thanksgiving with Indians?

Yay!

Yay!

MARTHA GENERIC: Whoa whoa, whoa.

Rein it in, there, Bobby.

You know, we don't wanna
be a bother, ya' know.
-It's no bother.

We'd really like to
have you, and my wife
makes a great pumpkin pie.

-Whoa, pumpkin pie?

Count me in for a slice.

-Good.

Well, as soon as you
get dressed, we'll eat.
-Wehehell, let's get some
fresh clothes and get going.
I am starved.

-No can do, Howard.

The suitcases are locked, and
I think I lost all my keys.
-Whoa!

-Ugh, like, what
is happening here?
-Well, Bobby looked so gee
golly cute in his costume,
I thought it'd be a
real kick in the pants
if we all dressed up
for grandma. [GIGGLE]
I didn't count on having to
wear them for strangers is all.
BOBBY GENERIC [NARRATING]:
Sometimes moms
don't know when to stop
when it comes to holidays.
[BABIES CRYING]

-You didn't say it was
dress up Thanksgiving.
I'm, I'm changing.

-Ya well, let me just
explain away the costumes.
We were going down to
visit my father in--
-No explanation's necessary.

We have a few of our own
traditions around here.
-I forgot what ceremony this
is for, but I love the colors.
-Uncle Hoover's
getting on in years.
He has trouble remembering
a lot of things.
-Somebody call the chief.

We're about to eat.

-A real Indian chief is coming?

-He's my grandpa.

-Don't wait for me.

I'll be there by dessert.

-Did you know, Bobby,
in the old days,
we used to talk to
each other using drums.
-Really?

What's the drum saying?

-[CHANTING] Hiyo hiya hiyo hiya
hi how are-- ha, ha, ha, ha,
not really, just a little
Indian humor, there. [LAUGHING]
-Oh, please have
some corn pudding.
I make it every
year, because it's
my Howard's all-time favorite.

-No, not me, Ma-, Martha.

I never liked corn
pudding that much.
MARTHA GENERIC: Oh
well, then it must
be Kelly's favorite, then yet.

-Not hardly.

Corn gives me total indigestion.

-Oh, sorry sis,
but, uh, that stuff
really bursts my gas bubble.

-Well, for Oshkosh
sakes, I guess
I just won't make
it anymore, then.
-Oh, oh, oh, don't
be silly, Martha.
It wouldn't, it wouldn't
be Thanksgiving without it.
It's a, It's a
Generic tradition.
-Is the turkey coming soon?

-We don't have turkey
at Thanksgiving, Bobby.
We eat fish.

-It's a tradition in our family.

-Franklin you give the blessing.

-This Indian blessing
is one that my family
have said for many years.

We are thankful for
all the gifts of life,
for the bounty of the Earth.

-Wow, a real Indian
Thanksgiving.
FRANKLIN: We are thankful for
the cool water that sooths
our thirst and for
the green grass,
which nourishes our animals.

We are thankful for the
trees of the forest,
which give us shade.

We are thankful for the
beautiful song of the birds,
and for the warm
rays of the sun,
and for the bright
stars in the night sky.
And we are thankful
for all the lessons
that we have learned from
those who have lived before us.
BOBBY GENERIC
[NARRATING]: And that's
how the Indians we
had Thanksgiving with
said the blessing before dinner.

And the next day, they
helped us fix our van,
and we got back home
all safe and sound.
And the Thanksgiving I thought
was going to be terrible
because it was going
to be different,
turned out to be
really, really great.
[APPLAUSE]

-That was a wonderful
Thanksgiving story, Bobby.
-Thanksgiving story?

I thought it was a
real neat car story.
[GIGGLE]

-I guess it's time
to say good-bye.
-Wait!

I just want to say
something before we go.
-Go ahead.

-I just want to say that the
Bobby's World audience is
the most wonderful
audience in the world.
[CLAPPING AND CHEERING]

-That's not necessary.

Sit down.

-OK.

-Not you.

Stand up.

Bye.