07x09 - Blue Eggs and Bobby

[bunniefuu]

-You know what?

I'm going to be hon--
I'm going to-- you
know why I'm doing this?

Because, uh, Bobby's
not here yet.
-Yes, I am.

Would it bother you,
if I make a rhyme?
-Wuh-- uh, not right now.

We-- we have to start the show.

-Please?

Just a little before we go?

-No, uh, really, Bobby,
I don't want to run late.
-Why?

Do you have an important date?

-No, please, Bobby.

Don't act like a silly kid.

-It's too late, Howie.

I already did.

[GIGGLES]

-Start the show.

-Wiggle my toe.

-Aw.

[THEME MUSIC]

-Derek, do you want to--

-Not now, squirt.

Dad, do we have any string?

-Kelly, I was
wondering if you want--
-Sorry, Bobby.

I don't have the time.

Mom, this is like
a totally big deal!
Where are the
extra down pillows?
-Dad?

-Bobby, have you seen
the ball of string?
-No.

Dad, can we--

-Derek!

I don't know why you waited
until the last minute
to do your science experiment!

Hon!

Have you seen the
ball of string?
-I have got them pillows, Kel!

-Mom!

-Howard, did you try
that kitchen drawer?
I used it to tie the turkey's
legs together, don't 'cha know?
[DOORBELL RINGS]

-I'll get it!

-I'll get it!

-Hi!

[GIRLS GIGGLE]

-Like, totally happy
birthday, Amber!
-Am I invisible?

Neener, neener, nee-- ner!

Pbbbpbbt!

KELLY: What is
your damage, Bobby?
-I guess not.

-Come on.

Hurry.

HQ is up in my room.

-Kelly, can I--

KELLY: And no boys--

[GIRLS GIGGLE]

--under 16 allowed.

-Wish I was having a sleepover.

[DOORBELL RINGS]

I'll get it!

-Think again, dweebster.

Oh, great!

You brought the lawn clippings.

Come on, let's get thrashing.

Out of the way, squirt!

-You can always tell when
brothers and sisters are going
to do fun stuff
because they don't
want you hanging
around with them.
-What's the matter, Bobby?

You look like an
overcooked turnip, is all.
-Kelly and Derek won't
let me play with them.
Nobody will do anything with me.

-Well, honey, sometimes
your big brother and sister
want to do things with
their friends, you know.
I know what you could
do for fun, sweetie.
Why don't you sit
down with a book?
-[YELLS] What?

No!

No!

I'd rather play with my toys!

Sometimes I think grownups
forget what fun is.
[SHRIEKS]

Toys and toys.

They're never around
when you need them.
No, not that one.

Got to have the one.

No, not that one.

[BARKS]

Ta-da!

Captain Squash!

My bestest friend!

He never lets me down when
there's nothing to do.
Look out, Captain Squash!

[FANFARE MUSIC]

-Uh, shouldn't we use
the instruction book
on that, Bobby?

-Well, Astronaut Hubble,
my Uncle Ted says,
if you need the instruction
book, it can't be fixed.
I fixed it!

I can see-- the eye!

Yikes!

-Let go of my telescope!

Bobby's trying to
get it working.
-You, you, better let go
of Hubble's telescope, or--
-[GROWLS]

-Or I'll--

[ZOOMING]

--call Captain Squash!

Help, Captain Squash!

Space monsters!

--[GRUNTS] Take that, you
one-eyed space aliens!
All right, now!

See how you like this, pal.

A knuckle sandwich!

Uh, wait!

This is no fun.

What's the challenge?

We've done this already.

I'm bored.

Now, Stinky O'Brien
down the street
has got a great fantasy going.

See you!

ASTRONAUT: Hey, wait for me!

-Who needs Captain
Squash anyway, Roger?
Mm.

Now, what am I supposed to do?

-[PANTING]

-I'm not sitting
down with a book--
when I can play
Mighty Bobby Babe!
SPORTSCASTER: It's the bottom
of the ninth, bases are loaded,
Bobby's team is losing
by three rounds.
To win it, he needs
to spank that tail out
of the park for a
grand slam home run.
-Come on!

Get a hit!

-Hit a home run!

-Come on!

Hit a grand slam home run!

SPORTSCASTER: Here
comes the 3 and 2 pitch!
-That's a strike.

Oh, I'm sorry, I mean,
[YELLS] Strike three!
You're out!

-What?

-Hey, Bob-o, whenever you're
playing Mighty Bobby Babe,
you always hit a home
run to win the game.
Well, it's really boring.

So the game's over.

-None of my adventures
is any fun, Webbly.
Wait!

That's it!

Webbly!

The best friend any kid
can have on adventure.
-Ugh, we're trapped!

There's no escape.

We're doomed!

No one can save us.

BOBBY: Except maybe a
bad guy turned good guy.
-You're not just
a mere assistant?
-My disguise.

Here, grab a leg.

There's plenty for all.

-Wow, thanks, Bobby.

You're a saint.

-I know.

Bobby, the Saint. [CHUCKLES]
I will pull you out
of the Pit of Doom in a flash.

Tug, tug.

[GRUNTS]

-Uh, hello?

We are not moving.

-Tug!

What's wrong, Webbly?

-[YAWNS]

-Oh, no, Webbly.

You are bored, too!

[SHRIEKS]

KELLY: Ugh!

Uh!

Gross!

-Hey, Roger.

Come on.

Let's solve crimes
and go on adventures.
-[YAWNS]

-You, too, Roger?

I'm not having any fun.

But Kelly and Derek
are having fun.
They won't let me play with
them because I'm little.
I'm tired of being a little kid.

I want to be with the big kids!

-Whoa, ouf!

Dah!

-Did you ever notice
how moms are always
around when you don't need them?

-Wha-- what's the gee
golly rush, Secretariat?
Can't wait to have fun
by yourself or what?
-You have to have other
people around to have fun.
And the older the other
people, the more fun.
-Uh, oh, oh.

Rein it in there, Trigger.

Just cool your jets.

You'd be bored hanging
around with those older kids.
-Why don't you sit
down with a book?
And--

-No!

I'm going to play
with the big kids
if it's the last thing I do!

I'm going to play
with the big kids.
I'm going to play
with the big kids!
KIDS: Five, six, seven--

-Wow!

Sounds like Derek's
having a lot of fun.
I wonder what he's doing.

It's times like this when a
kid could use X-ray vision!
WOMAN [ON PA SYSTEM]:
Five, four, three, two--
-[GROWLS]

-It's alive!

It's alive!

-I'm going in before
I miss all the fun!
It doesn't matter
what the sign says.
I can't read!

Hey, Derek!

-25.

[CHIRPS]

26.

[CHIRPS]

-Well, sorry.

-Hey!

You're wrecking our
science project!
We're counting cricket chirps.

It's nothing you need to know!

-It's nothing anybody
needs to know.
-Mom!

Bobby's bugging us!

[GIRLS SHRIEK]

-That's where all the action is.

Kelly's room!

[GIRLS SHRIEK]

Boy!

That sounds like-- that
sounds like they're
on a roller coaster!

[GIRLS SHRIEK]

Nah, can't be.

[GIRLS SHRIEK]

Maybe--

[ROCK MUSIC]

That does it!

[GIRLS SHRIEK]

I just got to play, too.

Huh?

[GIRLS SHRIEK]

Must be one of Derek's.

OK, you can go back to the
fun stuff you were doing.
-OK, OK.

So, like, I was saying,
that now that you're sweet
16, Tiff, are your parents going
to let you get that tattoo?
-Time to go there.

-Go there.

-That's what you were doing?

Yuck!

[YAWNS]

[CHIRPS]

DEREK: Bobby!

-Boy, the big kids
aren't any fun.
What can I do?

What's fun?

There's no one to play with.

Played with every
one of my toys.
[SINGING] I sit on my bed.

TOYS: [SINGING] He
sits on his bed.
-[SINGING] Alone in my room.

TOYS: [SINGING]
Alone in his room.
-[SINGING] There
is nothing to do.
TOYS: [SINGING]
Not nothing to do.
-[SINGING] So I
sing you this tune.
TOYS: [SINGING] He's
singing his tune.
-[SINGING] I got that
nothing, no nothing,
not nothing to do blues!

TOYS: [SINGING] Nothing, no
nothing, not nothing to do
blues.

-[SINGING] I made up adventures,
played with all of my toys.
I was with my sister
and her friends.
That's no fun.

Neither Derek and the boys.

I got that nothing, no nothing,
not nothing to do blues.
TOYS: [SINGING] Nothing, no
nothing, not nothing to do
blues.

-[SINGING] I wanna do something
'cause I feel real bored.
TOYS: [SINGING]
And he's so bored.
-But I can't think of anything.

I feel like a knight
without a sword.
TOYS: [SINGING] He's
got that nothing,
no nothing, not
nothing to do blues!
-[SINGING] I can do what I want.

TOYS: [SINGING] He
does what he wants.
-[SINGING] 'Cause in
this room I'm king.
TOYS: [SINGING]
Because he's a king.
-[SINGING] But
there's nothing to do!
TOYS: [SINGING]
Not nothing to do.
-[SINGING] That's why
I sit here and sing.
TOYS: [SINGING] just
sit here and sing.
-[SINGING] I got that--

ALL: [SINGING] Nothing, no
nothing, not nothing to do
blues.

TOYS: [SINGING] Nothing, no
nothing, not nothing to do--
blues!

-[SINGING] Oh, yes.

[RUMBLING]

[ROARS]

[GASP] Mom!

[GROWLS]

Mom!

-Yes, dear?

What is it?

-Huh?

Huh, what's that?

-Well, it's your favorite book.

-"The Uncle with the Carbunkle."

-Right.

By Dr. Bruce.

You do golly read his rhymes
along with me so many times.
I bet you can look
at the pictures
and read along all by yourself.

-Oh, no!

I never thought I would
come to this, Roger.
I'm old enough to read
a book-- by myself!
Alone!

-Come on, Bobby!

Give it a try!

-Captain Squash, you're back!

-Of course, I am.

There's nothing like
a good book that
takes you on a great adventure!

-OK, I'll give it a try.

Roger, Webbly, Captain Squash,
are you ready to hear a story?
"The Uncle with the Carbunkle."

BOBBY [VOICEOVER]:
"On a colorful world,
far, far, away,
lived a little boy.
No one would play with
him, not even a toy.
He wanted to play
with his sister,
but she told him to stay away.

He wanted to play with his
brother, but he just said"--
-Go play with another.

BOBBY [VOICEOVER]: "The
little boy was bored.
He had nothing to do.

Suddenly, there was knock.

So to the door, he flew."

-I'm your uncle
with the Carbunkle.
What's the matter with you?

-No one will play with me.

I have nothing to do.

-Oh, I can help you with that.

I've got a plan.

If you feed me some blue
eggs, blue eggs with Stan.
-Stan who?

BOBBY [VOICEOVER]:
"Asked the boy."
-You sound like an owl.

Captain Stan's here to help you.

No need to scowl.

-Where do you get blue eggs?

BOBBY [VOICEOVER]: "He
asked with a grin."
-That's easy to answer.

From a blue chicken.

-Which reminds me of a
riddle, as I pose on one leg.
Which came first, the blue
chicken or the blue egg?
He-he!

[CLUCKS]

-You said you were hungry.

I fulfilled your demand.

Here is your blue eggs.

-Blue eggs with Stan.

-Ah, that was good.

Now, what shall we do?

-I have an idea!

Let's take a nap.

BOBBY [VOICEOVER]: "Bobby
sprang from his seat.
His face still blue."

-You promised to help me.

I still have nothing to do.

-Oh, that's an oops!

BOBBY [VOICEOVER]: "The Uncle
with the Carbunkle said."
-Just say the magic words--

- -- that pop into your head.

BOBBY [VOICEOVER]: "'Magic
words,' he blurted out loud.
And the words came out
and formed a large cloud."
-Not the words I had in mind.

There were others I
was hoping you knew.
But it's close enough for magic,
so here is something to do.
-Hello there, I am Meeker.

And this is my friend Snerd.

-People think that
we are brothers,
which is really quite absurd.

-He is the comic genius,
the one with all the brains.
-Moi?

Oh, no.

I'm Billy Crystal to
your Robin Williams.
BOBBY [VOICEOVER]: "Then
Snerd turned to Meeker."
-Did you notice the
lad's face is blue?
BOBBY [VOICEOVER]: "'That's
easy to explain,' said the boy."
-I've got nothing to do.

BOBBY [VOICEOVER]: "They
shouted and danced,
floor next to the flue."

-"Nothing to do" is our
favorite thing to do.
-I've got just the ticket
with this remote control.
-For changing channels?

-No, that is far too droll.

-It is a "revolt" control,
if you will pardon the pun.
-For changing
what's bad to good--
- --what is boring to fun!

-Now, take those dirty dishes.

BOBBY [VOICEOVER]:
"He said with a wink.
And zapped those dirty
dishes, the ones in the sink.
And look, look, look, look!

Became a creation with
dishes got so clean,
you could see your reflection."

-See what we mean?

Then here is some more.

The wall's not a wall.

-That wall's now a floor.

[LAUGHING]

-When it comes to fun,
and I do not jest,
there's not better than you.

-No, no, no.

You are the best!

-You see, little boy,
this enchanted remote
casts magical charms,
not ordinary spells.
-It brings things to life--

- --and makes funny smells.

-[GIGGLES]

BOBBY [VOICEOVER]: "The
boy giggled and laughed
and grabbed the uncle's hat."

-It is a funny smell.

-And here's more fun like that.

BOBBY [VOICEOVER]: "They
played games of skill and games
of fun.

They played games like
tag, where he had to run."
-You're not it.

-Something's not right.

The last word doesn't rhyme.

-You said, right is wrong!

Tag, I'm it.

-Hm.

OK.

But just this time.

-You're it!

-Whoa!

-Got you!

-Hit the can.

Ha-ha!

BOBBY [VOICEOVER]:
"By now, you have
gathered, what's down is up."

-Well, then, I don't
have to warn you.
Don't pour water into that cup.

-You got a big problem
when a "no" means a yes.
How does that Meeker and Snerd--

BOY: Hey, your room's a mess.

-Huh?

BOY: Your stuff.

It's all over the place.

-Sounds like you were
having a great time, too.
With all the laughing
and giggling.
-Can we hang with you?

-Yeah.

Can we, like, play?

-Play?

I'm reading.

-OK, OK, everybody.

Go back to your rooms.

There is nothing
more to see here.
-What in the blazes
of Sam Houston
is going on in here,
for the cry-eyed?
-You were right.

I was a schnook.

I should have listened when
you said, go read a book.
-Oh-h*-h*, that's a good
rhyme Bobby, little mansy.
But it's time to turned off that
night light and go to sleep.
Did you like the book?

-Aw, it was OK.

It's really hard for
kids to admit to parents
that they were right.

-Good night, sweetie.

-Good night, Mom.

Uh, Mom, books are really good
for using your imagination.
-Oh, you got that right, honey.

Now, go to sleep.

-Where was I?

Well, yes!

In a topsy-turvy world.

MEEKER: Where
what's bad is good!
SNERD: And what's boring is fun!

-A world of opposites
that's in your imagination.
[GIGGLES]

That's the end of the show!

So why don't we sing
the "Goodbye Song"?
-I don't know the
"Goodbye Song."
-I'll show you.

You sing the first part.

[SINGING] Goodbye, goodbye.

-[SINGING] Goodbye, goodbye.

-[SINGING] Goodbye, goodbye.

Now, you.
-[SINGING] Goodbye.
-[SINGING] Goodbye.

-[SINGING] Goodbye.

-[SINGING] Goodbye.

-Who wrote this song?

-Me!

Do you like it?

-No.

-OK, then.

It wasn't me.

[SINGING] Goodbye, goodbye.

[KIDS LAUGHING]