01x07 - At the Hop/Pinky's Dream House

[bunniefuu]

What do you want to do today?The

same thing we do every day, Pinky.

Endure Elmira, then try to take over the

world. The

situation's changed for Pinky and the

Brain. No laboratory

alone in the rain. And someone's

looking round for where they might be

found. It's Pinky for Pinky and the

Brain. Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain,

Brain, Brain, Brain.

Trapped inside a store, a girl ran in the

door. She bought a discount turtle but

ended up with more. Now Pinky and the

Brain. Share a new domain. It's

what the network wants. Why bother to

complain?The Earth remains a goal.

Some things they can't control. They're

Pinky, Elmira and the Brain Brain.

I deeply resent this.

Trolls.

We never miss a fall dance at our school

We're cool, when we're around The boys'

loves start to drool We're cool,

if we shot raccoons for the county

You'd want to do that too We're so cool,

we're hot We're so cool

See ya at

cool

I don't think Elmira knows your colours,

Brain. You're definitely more of a

winter. I feel low and cheap.

Don't you wish we could go to the school

dance?Drawers. Pinky, mice don't

dance. Oh, we may scurry to a rhythm now

and then, but it's generally not our way.

Now put that Junior League soiree out of

your mind. You and Elmira have been

gabbing about nothing else all week. We

have work to do. Too busy to notice

life's finer things, eh, Brain?

If you're done with this impromptu

buffoonery, perhaps you might assist me

in taking over the world. OK. Oh,

so this is where all the sugar went.

Elmar has been putting flour on her

cereal. She probably

can't tell the difference. Assist me,

Pinky.

I don't know what you were cooking,

Brain, but I think the ants got to it.

I was distilling certain chemicals from

our industrious insect neighbours. I must

have used up an entire army. Army ants,

attention! Left, left, left. Right,

right, rightStop it or I will flail at

you. I have drained these ants of certain

attraction chemicals called pheromones.

By combining Ant pheromones with the

ingredients of a popular supermarket

breakfast food. I love frosted down that

toast. It is surprisingly tasty. I have

created a powerful attraction scent. As

ants swarm to a queen, so will humans be

drawn to me. Brilliant as always, Brian.

But won't the scent wash off?Yes,

I must remember not to freshen up until I

have conquered the world. Any other

questions, Pinky?Just one. Do you have to

wear a fez and a Turkish bath?You have

the reasoning powers of a quarry. You

must now retrieve my attraction scent. I

have employed a cunning ruse to hide it,

given Elmira's apple-headed

inquisitiveness. I feared she might

blunder upon any normal hiding place.

Thus I have concealed the attraction

scent in plain sight. Behold,

Pinky, it's gone.

What did you do?Was your attracto

spell in a little jar with a skull and

thingies on it?The jar was labeled with a

skull and crossbones, the international

symbol for danger. Only a fool would

touch it. I told Elmira it was a perfume

for pirates. She took it to the dance.

Pirate perfume. Of course. That would be

anyone's first guess. Pinky, would

you clarify a point for me?Oh, sure,

Brain. We

haven't a moment to lose. If Elmira dabs

on that scent, the world will flock to

her before you can say fuzzy wuzzy bunny

head. Fuzzy

wuzzy bunny head. Don't get cute. Okay,

boys and girls, it's time to get this

show on the road. Here's your DJ,

Rockin' Johnny Hot.

Hi, kiddos. Rockin' Johnny here.

I only have two rules. Don't bother me

and leave me alone. I'm trying to quit

this miserable business. So you dance,

and I'll study for my real estate

license. Oh, and no requests, otherwise

I'll play Black Sabbath until your ears

explode. Now, go boogie or

something. Andy, have you seen my rooty

booty?I'm gonna put on some pirate

perfume and drag him off the plank of

love. Shh, Andy

Lome is coming. Stand close to me.

That way I'll look even more radiant than

I usually do. Oka-doka-roonie poop.

I'm going to stand next to Andy and sob

until he notices me. Thanks, Elmira.

You're still my best friend in the whole

world. I hope Andy loves you

forever and hugs you till your guts fall

out. Give me a dollar or a

pound you. Now get lost before I knuckle

up your head. Elmira's looking for you,

Rudy, but I see you're busy acting

mature. Why don't you butt out, you can

of mud?What a devastating remark,

Rudy Wooty.

I don't like what you use as smart talk.

I'll get that vanity. Wanna dance the

night away?You round ball of fire.

No way, I gotta get even with someone.

Ah, he's so shy and dumpy

wumpy. I wanna make him...

Pizza pie fun!Ooh,

la, la. Brains going to the dance.

Be quiet, you capering dunce. We

must recover the attraction scent. Until

then, we shall subtly blend in. I don't

know what he meant, but... Hello,

my name is Patty Ann. I am a little girl.

I recently purchased a yummy lip gloss.

We've successfully infiltrated the dance.

Now to find Elmira. Over there! There,

there, thereLook at me! I'm a

pizza box!

That's Elmira, charming her classmates as

usual. Now we must... Drat! Hi,

Pinky! Hi, Patty Ann.

Remember me?I'm Rudy Mukich.

Wanna see me pretend to have rabies?

Actually, no. Hey, come on!

We love to dance. We really shine like

jewels. We're cool. Don't make our moves

or you will look a fool. We're cool.

If we slipped and fell in hippo poop,

you'd want to do that, too. We're so

cool. We're hot. We're so cool.

Hey, hey, heyWe're so cool. We're

hot. We're so cool.

C-O-O-L,

cool. So cool.

Wanna see a beetle my dad fished out of a

grease trap?Please, don't tempt

me. Where'd you learn to dance?In my

hometown of Golem, New Hampshire, a

remote, eucolic village. How come your

head's so small?I, uh,

just washed it and can't do a thing with

it.

Oh, just washed it. Good one, Pride.

If you'll pardon me, I must attend to a

girlish disorder. Stop cackling.

Keep silent in there. Rhino.

Um, Pattie Anne is Elmira's cousin.

Oh. If it isn't a

little jaboozle. Jezebel. I

gotta go revenge myself. See you later,

Patty Anne. It's just you and me,

sweet chops. I'm ready to fight for my

man. Your man?He carries

around beetles from a grease trap. You

sure know a lot about pro football.

Ooh, Andy, I can't believe you're

tickling my shoulder. This is all a silly

mistake. In fact, I would swear never to

see Rudy again in exchange for... For

what?For a bottle of pirate

perfume. But I don't suppose you have

any. HmmI got one! I got one!

Pirate perfume! Hey, what

gives?Save me, Baddie Anne! A

monster just ate somebody's head!

Blast.

Don't go up there. I have some dreamy

gossip to share.

Listen, kids, come with me

instead. I have a pony in my yard. How

come you never told me about the pony?Not

now, Pinky.

When you all get lost, I'm serious.

This is X-Files spooky. Help.

I'm being chased by everyone.

You don't have to wear a fez in a Turkish

bath. How's that?A Turkish bath

is nothing more than a personal hygiene

method using steam. Steam is released

into a small room, inducing perspiration

that cleans the pores. It has nothing to

do with hats. Oh, thanks, Brain.

Come, Pinky. We must go back to our room

and prepare for tomorrow. What are we

going to do tomorrow, Brain?The same

thing we do every day, Pinky. Iron a few

things and then. Try to take over the

world.

Willie, I hope you and Weasel have

learned your lesson. I, uh, guess so,

Dad. We learned never, ever to fill the

bathtub with jelly, Dad. Even

raspberries. Cookies and milk, everyone?

I, uh, I guess so, Mom. Oh,

not me, Mom. Me and Dumpy got to give his

dog a bath, and we won't use any jelly.

Jam is much gooier.

Lord, I'm worried about the weasel.

Oh, TV people live in such pretty houses

and they're so hap, hap, happy. Not

because they're not real, Pinky. Old

television programs like Weasel Knows

Best were nothing more than commercials,

sucking gullible families of the 1950s

into the quagmire of middle-class

consumerism. Did you say something, Brain?

I was just writing down the phone number

to order this thingy from the TV

infomercial. Hurry, get yours today.

Pinky, don't you see?You're being

manipulated into buying something you

don't need. Money back if not completely

satisfied. But brain, if we don't like

it, we can send it back. Yes, Pinky.

Do you realize what would happen if

everyone in the world returned everything

they bought?There would be very long

lines of frowny people. Undoubtedly,

Pinky. But there would also be mass

hysteria, total economic collapse, and a

mouse ruling the world. Love.

Anyone I know?I'd smite you if

victory weren't so close at hand. Behold,

Pinky, I have created the take it

back-o-matic ray. This beam will make

everyone in the world sorry they ever

bought whatever it is they just bought.

They will be overcome with a desire to

return it. I shall rise to power in the

ensuing economic chaos. Any questions?

Yes. Do you know the way to San Jose?

I meant about the plan. Oh, that.

No, no questions. Good. Then help

me position this. Ow, my

back. Oh, plain. You'd better rest. You

can't take over the world with a bad

back. Pinky, once I have completed the

fine tuning of this device, nothing will

keep me from taking over the world. Don't

you play, fuzzies?Except maybe a

homicide conviction. Hello, cranky big

head master. I'm the Winky Blinky

Genie. No, you're not. You're a little

girl who's taken one too many trips to

rerun land. Oh, oh, I'll make a wish.

Pinky, do you remember what happened the

last time we made a wish from the Winky

Blinky Genie?About 10 minutes of little

girl fantasy followed by pain,

humiliation and t*rture. Exactly. It

was fun. Make a wish. I will

not make a wish. Go away. Oh, can I make

a wish, Brain?Please, please, please,

please, pleaseNot. Oh, all right. Go

ahead and make your wish. But it's his

wish, not mine. Oh, goody. I

wish we could live in a little house with

a den and pillow shams and wacky

neighbors, just like all our happy

families on TV. Pinky, places like that

don't exist. Oh, yes, they do, Brain.

Point. They exist in a special place, a

place I've dreamed about.

Some place next to a

landfill, there's a

house with a

shelf full of knickknacks made for a

little mouse. A

modern house is such a gift to keep it

clean. You barely lift a finger.

At night we'll sit and watch the tube and

laugh at all the toothless boots on

Jerry Springer.

Sofas covered in

plastic never

stain. I

wish I had a little house

made for me and Bran.

That's the saddest thing I ever heard.

Your wish is my command. At

least this wish won't cause me any sudden

and inordinate pain. Oh,

it's beautiful! A lovely

dream house complete with... With

brain. It's just a

cheap plastic dollhouse, Pinky.

Genuine plastic?And it's all ours!

Oh, I'm touched. Deeply touched. No,

Pinky, you're disturbed. Deeply

disturbed.

Welcome to Elmaraville, new dollies and

fuzzy heads. You can live there, and you

can live here, and you can live in the

brand-new apartment dolly house.

Pellets and milk, anyone?Stop playing TV

mom, Pinky. It's... Annoying.

Oh, but it comes so naturally. That's

what's annoying.

Ow, my back. Why don't you relax on this

comfy leather at recliner, Brain?Don't be

ridiculous, Pinky. I've got plans to

complete a world to conquer. I cannot be

swayed by bourgeois. Look, Brain, you can

put your feet up with a simple

adjustment. You have to learn not to be

impressed with mere things, Pinky.

There's more to life than comfort and

convenience. This chair

has excellent lumbar support. Comfy,

comfy, comfy. I told you, Pinky,

I don't care one wit about materialism.

It... It vibrates. Ah

And we can enjoy some stimulating

television entertainment. Chores, this is

my favorite show. Isn't it riveting?

Pinky, that's a little plastic box with a

picture of Ed Asner glued to it. Yes, Ed

is a dynamic performer. Pinky, if I'm

going to enjoy the therapeutic benefits

of my recliner, you may as well get more

substantial television fare. Vain, do

you mean?Yes. Cable.

It's my dream come true. More puffs,

Vain. Quiet, Pinky. I want to hear

Jerry's final thought on overweight,

toothless yodelers who have divorced

their cousins. What is it

now?Hello,

mousies. I'm your neighbour fashion doll,

Debbie. And I'm Kippa, her cute friend

who looks almost like Debbie, but has

curly hair and wears skates. And I'm

Brain, the curmudgeonly neighbour who

slams the door in your face. Well, that

was very rude, Brain. We have to be nice

to our new neighbours. Oh, look,

we have a new skylight. Oh, thank you for

letting us drop in. Nice place to

have here. Oh, thank you. It's not much,

but it is home. Not. Why don't you sit

down?Not in my chair, you dingbat.

Why don't you go outside and mow the lawn

with your brand new lawn mower, Brain?

Anything is preferable to this prattle.

You'll have to forgive Brain. He's been

trying to take over the world, and it's

put quite a strain on him.

You there. Get off my lawn. Stop nibbling

my hedges. Animals. And of course,

Flapperware comes in many attractive

colors and sizes. Knife. Out. Out.

Everyone out.

But Brain, I was about to show them how

to burp the Flapperware. Well, I'm

showing them the door. A mouse's

home is his castle. Why do we always have

to entertain the neighbors?They never

invite us over. Why don't you relax with

your plan thingy and take over the world?

You always enjoy that. I'm too tired.

Besides, there's a show about Rommel's

desert campaign on the History Channel.

I've been thinking, Brain. We really must

do something about the homeless

situation. Homeless situation?Yes.

Many of the residents of our town have no

place to live. Ward here has been forced

to live in a cardboard box. He's a doll.

He's supposed to live in a cardboard box.

But Brain, don't you care about helping

the less fortunate?You always wanted to

make the world a better place. Well, that

was before I had a lawn. Lumbar

support. I finally found the answer. The

only thing that matters is having a

comfortable place where you can relax and

watch TV. Ward, I'm

worried about the brain. Hello,

cable company. You want to charge me

$10 a month to get the Nashville network?

It's criminal. Well, if that's the way

you feel about it, cancel my service.

They think they have me, but I'll show

them, Pinky. With a homemade satellite

dish, I'll be able to get 3048

channels absolutely free. We can always

go back to watching the photo of Ed Asna.

I never did find out how that story

ended. Painfully. Ow!

Did you put up the dish, Pinky?Oh, yes,

and it's all pretty and shiny. Trust.

Excellent, Pinky. Observe as I press the

button. We enter the world of infinite

television. Nah.

More buses and more dollies.

Are you sure you put up the red satellite

dish?Oh, no. It clashed with our roof

colour, so I put up the blue one. Stinky,

you connected the take it back-o-matic

Ray. Really. And I'm usually so

clumsy.

Yucky dolly houses. Yucky dolly.

Yucky fuzzy heads. Yucky, yucky,

yucky. I'm taking you all back to the

store. And I just

ordered new window treatments. What are

we doing now, Brain?Make a right at

Oxnard. Come again?It's the way to San

Jose. You head to Oxnard and make a

right. Oh, point. But what about that

little home?Good riddance. I will

never again let the trappings of the

material-minded middle class distract me

from my ultimate goal. Come, Pinky.

We must go back to our cage and plan for

tomorrow. What, Brain?What are we going

to do tomorrow?Well, perhaps if there's

nothing worth watching on TV tomorrow,

we'll try to take over the world. There,

Pinky, Elmira and the Brain, Brain,

Brain, Brain, Brain.