01x09 - Wag the Mouse/A Walk in the Park

[bunniefuu]

What do you want to do today?The same

thing we do every day, Pinky. Endure

Elmira, then try to take over the world.

The

situation's changed for Pinky and the

brain. No laboratory

alone in the rain. And someone's

looking round for where they might be

found. It's Pinky for Pinky and the

Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain,

Brain, Brain, Brain.

Trapped inside a store, a girl ran in the

door. She bought a discount turtle but

ended up with more. Now Pinky and the

Brain share a new domain.

It's what the network wants. Why bother

to complain?The earth remains a goal.

The things they can't control. They're

pinky, Elmira, and the brain.

I deeply resent this. Trolls!

Mousies!

So far, our nominees for class president

are Andrew Lomb and Vanity White. Are

there any other nominations?I nominate

Elmira. I've

known Elmira since kindergarten. She's my

best friend in the whole world. And I

just want to say that whoever you elect,

our school is sure to be the winner.

Whoa! The pretty witty kitty is going to

make me win the election.

Look, Brain, a scary Kitty. A true

work of art, I'm sure. At least the big

oaf is too dim to rob her classmates

blind. She might very well be their best

bet. Can the president make it be Fuzzy

Wuzzy Bunny Day every day?

Oh, the president can do anything. You

can make all the boys and girls do the

jelly dance. Silly big nose

mousy. Jelly dance, it's a

shaky

thing. Jelly

dance, got my toes to

sing. Ocha-chucka-choo.

Ocha-chuck-a-choo.

What?

Stop it, you chattering simpletons. No

one will ever know what I endure.

Elmira can do anything if she gets

elected, right, Brain?I suppose. Class

presidents have the ear of the school

administration, perhaps the Board of

Education. Wait. Properly controlled,

Elmira could well go far in politics.

Pinky, are you pondering what I'm

pondering?I think so, Brain. But if

Pinocchio were carved out of bacon, it

wouldn't be the same story, would it?No,

Pinky. We can guide Elmira's campaign to

victory. From behind the scenes, we can

push her higher and higher up the

electoral food chain. Over time, Elmira

will rise to the top and we shall rise

with her. Before this is over, I sense

that I shall frequently lose my temper.

You guys, think about the issues.

Whichever way you vote, I just want to

thank you for listening to me. Would you

mind voting for me?It would make me

really happy. Sure. OK.

Thanks. You're sweet.

Hi, Mr. Lopey Wopey. Will you vote

for me?

Vanity White is intelligent, beautiful,

and has the morals of a wharf rat. She'll

be tough to beat. Look, Brain, it's

Beauty and the Beast.

Hello, Rudy. I'd ask you to support me,

but I know Elmira has your vote and your

heart. Why don't you go eat a booger tree?

Oh, I'm crushed, Rudy Wooty.

I'd like to throw a bag of dirt at her

back. Move over, dimple weed, or I'll

punch you in the tongue. Rudy

and Vanity have a cobra-mongoose

relationship. I sense that could work to

our advantage. Quit that!

I have enough data on Elmira's opposition

to formulate... Whoa!

It's a funny way!

Guess what, Rudy Beauty?When I'm

president, I'm gonna put you in my

cabinet and keep you there forever and

ever. No way! This election stuff is a

bunch of junk. Go get your hat.

Ohh

Since no sane person will vote for you,

you must eliminate or neutralize the

competition. Now, pay attention, Elmira.

This is serious. Jelly dogs!

Craze. Now then, we start with Andrew

Lome. He's square as a box, but honest.

By tomorrow, his campaign will be in

tatters.

Excellent. What's this poster gonna do?

Yeah, Brainy, Brainy. It was so chaos and

confusion. Andrew Loam quits race, cites

personal stuff. What kind of

personal stuff, Andy?Yeah, Loam,

you some kind of bedwetter. I don't know

what this is about. I'm not quitting. So

you're back in the race?I never dropped

out. Well, how come you put up a sign

that says you did?But I didn't.

Maybe the personal stuff is making him

say funny things. Andrew, this isn't

like you to quit, but if it's personal, I

certainly understand. I'm not

quitting! Hi, Handy

Andy. I'm not quitting!

Do you hear me?Andrew Lomb is in the race

to stay!

Hey! God, brilliant brain! Gloam is now

branded as erratic. That will cost him

most of his support. Which brings us to

Rudy Mukich. Oddly enough, he is the

key to victory. He's my Rudy, fruity,

extra nudie. Indeed.

Elmira, you must tell Rudy that Vanity

intends to punish him if she wins the

election. Rudy will then actively oppose

Vanity. His brute force will neutralize

her charm. When the dust settles, you

will be class president. No. You

want me to fib to my Rudy about my best

friend, Vanity?This is politics.

Besides, Vanity manipulates you. She

uses your maladroid social skills to

highlight her glittering personality.

Naughty potty mouth. Cranky big

head mustn't use all those stinky potty

words. Discount bar

soap 97. A good year.

Almira won't help us get Rudy. What can

we do?I can do something personally

distasteful. Hello, Rudy. My

name is Patty Ann. I am a little girl.

I am wearing a fun top. Fun top?

Hey, Patty Ann. Where you been?I haven't

seen you since the dance.

I've been busy purchasing dainty

items. Vanity White told me that she

intends to punish you if she wins the

election. Oh, yeah?So Vanity wants to

build a school jail down in the basement?

Uh-huhAnd put me in it?

Well, we'll see about that. Thanks, Patty

Ann. A fun job! Where are

you going, Brain?Back to the bathroom.

I'm going to wash my own mouth out with

soap. I mean it. Anyone who

votes for vanity is gonna get pounded.

Before we cast our votes, each of the

candidates will say a few words. Andrew,

would you begin?Everyone who said I quit

is wrong. Thank you. I'd just like to say

that kids should vote the way they want

and not be scared by any threats from a

dumb ape boy. Anyone who votes for her

gets it from me. Sit down, buster, or

I'll drop ya. Pinky, we stand in moments

from victory. President Elmira?It does

have a chilling ring to it. I want to

talk about the little mice that live in

my hat. Cranky Big Head is smart and

knows all about stuff. And Pinky Big

Nose is funny. And Jelly

Dance is a shaky thing. Jelly

Dance got my toes to sing.

Wa-hey, oka-chaka-choo.

The votes have been tallied, and the

winner is Andrew Lowe.

Well, they won't have brain to kick

around anymore. What's

Swill?Did we learn a valuable

lesson today about life and kids and

politics and stuff?No, I don't believe we

did. Oh, good. We did learn that the

unexpected lurks in all events. Tomorrow

we shall bear that lesson in mind. What

are we going to do tomorrow, Brain?The

same thing we do every day, Pinky. Try

to take over the world. There, Pinky,

Elmira and the Brain, Brain, Brain,

Brain, Brain.

Yes, the world's a happy place.

Always wear a happy face.

Apathy is no disgrace 'cause the

world's a happy place.

This song, it's annoying, incessant.

Aren't you going to hear enough of that

song tomorrow?I'm trying to work. But

cranky big head mousey, we're practicing

our pretty singing. Yes, Brain, when we

go to Ducky Land tomorrow, we have to be

ready to sing along in the Happy Sappy

Children of Many Lands ride. I'm gonna

meet Larry Learning and Dicky Ducky and

kiss 'em all over their fuzzy ducky furry

featherheads. And eat Sugar Puffs and

Sugar Dogs. And sugar on a stick and some

sugar Until we

This is going to be the bestest field

trip ever. Yes, the world's a

happy place. Always wear a

sappy face Will this t*rture

never cease?Don't you know a less

insipid children's song?

What about this one?It's a yum yum

doodle dum gosh Oh golly doodle

jolly day Ugh, nauseating.

That's baloney. He's my favorite singing

dinosaur. Mine is Michael Bolton. Look at

these tapes. It's a Sugary Woogary Day

by Laffy. Life's a Rosy Posy Bed of

Honey by Mary Fluis and Pork Chop. The

titles alone are enough to make my teeth

rot. I'll help you floss.

I'll help you hurt.

Why would anyone want to listen to these

annoyingly saccharine ditties that you

can't get out of your head, no matter how

hard... Wait a minute. That's it.

Pinky. Are you pondering what I'm

pondering?I think so, Brain. But wasn't

Dicky Ducky released on his own

recognisance?No, Pinky.

Do you realise how many people pass

through this ride in a month?More

than three?More than half a million?No.

I will change just two lines in the

refrain of the world's a happy place.

I'll fix it so that those annoying dolls

sing there's so much we can gain if we

follow the brain. Everyone on the ride

will hear my version over and over again

until it becomes ingrained in their

subconscious, turning them into my loyal

subjects. I will simply sneak into the

ride tomorrow and switch the tapes.

Does that mean you're coming with us to

Duckyland?Yeah, we're going on the

rides. There's only one ride that

interests me. The incredible thrill ride

of taking over the world.

HmmI think there's a height requirement

for that ride. Cool.

Now, class, we're going to have a

wonderful time today. If you'll

all just remember to stay together and

follow me.

Children, wait. Stay together. Hey, come

back.

Quickly, Elmira, this way. But teacher

said to stay with her.

Oh, no. Now where do we go?To the Happy

Sappy Children of Many Lands ride. Quick,

there's a break in the traffic. We can

cross the street.

There you are, cranky big head mousey.

Did you see the big parade?Not in

time.

Brain, can I go on a ride now?

I'll take that as a yes.

Whee! Oh, Brain, I love the teacup

ride. Pinky, get out of that woman's

teacup. Oh, sorry.

Can we go on some more rides?We don't

have time. Look at the length of these

lines. Please. I want to go on the

fuzzy bumpkins with Ben Trolley.

Well, this line looks short enough.

Isn't life wonderful, Brain?Just think,

we started out as lab mice, forced to

spend the whole day working our way

through frustrating mazes that went

absolutely nowhere. Now we get to do what

humans do. Yay!

Keep going on the Fuzzy Bumpkin ride.

Finally, after two hours in line. Please

keep your arms and legs inside the

trolley. Don't stand during the ride.

Keep your seat belts securely fast and no

flash photography, and please have a rip

snoring good time on Fuzzy Bumpkin's

whiz-bang trolley.

Please step out of the car and exit your

left. Oh, that was fun. What?That was it?

Two hours in line, and that was it?

It was so fun when we went on the

loop-a-loop and we flew over the fuzzy

bunny patch. Yes, trolls! And when

Fuzzy Pumpkin chased us past the

exploding barn and waved a chicken at us!

Apparently, this is the one place on

Earth where a short attention span is an

advantage.

Leticia, they. Oh,

wait, please. Will you 2 hurry up?

We're almost at the Happy Sappy Children

of Many Lands ride. Oh, but can't we go

on some of these rides?Zord. Please,

please, please, please, please, please,

pleaseAll right. But this time I get

to choose.

Now that was entertaining. Hey.

Where's Elmira?Oh, no. She's lost.

We might never see her again. Stop trying

to cheer me up, Pinky. She's got the

tape. Mom, I want to go back to the ride

where the little animatronic girl is

tearing up all the fuzzy animals. Oh,

no. Elmira's wandered into the plush toy

store. I've never seen anything like it.

The destruction, the unbridled, the

aggression, the baby talk. It was

horrible. Rain.

That sounds like Elmira. Observe, Pinky.

This trail of dismembered Dicky duckies

leads across the street. We'll just go

over and see if the oaf

rain. Are you all right?You know,

I hate a parade. Come

on, Mousey. Let's go on the big roller

coaster. Oh, a

mountain, Zord. It's really scary.

Oh, drat the luck. We're just not tall

enough to go on this ride. Pinky and I

will wait by the exit. No problem. You

can ride with

me.

Oh,

that was the funniest run ever, silly big

nose mousey. Sorry. Yes,

but I wonder why they call it Pain

Mountain. Beats me.

Yes, finally. The happy, sappy

children of many lands ride where cheery

music will spread the message that a

mouse should rule the world. Oh, no,

Brain. No, if you're thinking of that

other park in Orlando.

All I have to do is head past Uruguay,

cross Finland, and get to the ride

controls, which are just behind Chad.

Chad who?Chad the country. What a

lovely name. Do you think it would suit

me?Personally, I think Dolt would be more

appropriate. Dolt. Elmira, give me

the tape. Are you going to put on a

happy, sappy song?Cranky big and mousey?

Yes. Pinky, after I switch the

tapes, I'll meet you near Chad. I'd like

to meet Chad. Chad is not a person.

Huh

At last I finally.

Hello. Are you

Chad?

It's the wrong tape, Pinky.

Is your name Chad?That doesn't

really answer my question, does it?Pinky,

get down from.

That

ride's even better now that Baloney's

singing. You know, I heard Baloney

singing, but I didn't see him anywhere.

Maybe he's talking to Chad.

Oh, there you are, Brain. How did your

planned thingy go?It was the wrong

tape. We brought the wrong

tape. Come, Pinky, we must leave

this horrid place and prepare for

tomorrow. Why, Brain?What are we going to

do tomorrow?I know.

Tomorrow we'll get the right tape and

come back to Duckyland. Oh, no.

Even the world isn't worth that. Nothing

is going to get me to come back to this.

To this hieronymous, Bosch inspired

nightmare world. I just want to get out

of here before any more of my bones are

broken. Quickly, we just cross this

street and there's

a girl, it's Jesus and

one's insane. And by the hand of rain,

rain, rain, rain, rain.

Children, where are you?Come

back.