01x09 - The Binky Show/U.S. Acres: Keeping Cool/Don't Move!

[bunniefuu]

- Okay,

- Okay, odie.

These are the party invitations.

Go put them in the mailbox.

[ Arf ]

- You realize, of course,

This is a rather large mistake.

- I was expecting

The upper crust.

- Looks like you got

The crumbs.

- Ladies and gentlemen,

Garfield and friends.

[ Music ]

♪ - ♪ Friends are there ♪

- ♪ To help you ♪

♪ Get started, to give you ♪

♪ A push on your way ♪

- ♪ Friends are there ♪

- ♪ To turn around ♪

♪ Get your feet on the ground ♪

♪ For a brand-new day ♪

- ♪ They pick you up ♪

♪ When you're down ♪

- ♪ Help you swallow
your pride ♪

♪ When something inside ♪

♪ Says to break on through ♪

♪ To the other side ♪

- ♪ Friends are ♪

♪ Someone you can open up to ♪

- ♪ When you feel ♪

♪ Like you're ready to flip ♪

- ♪ When you've got ♪

♪ The world on your shoulders ♪

- ♪ Friends are there ♪

♪ To give you a tip ♪

- ♪ Friends are there ♪

♪ When you need them ♪

♪ They're even there ♪

♪ When you don't ♪

- ♪ For a walk in the park ♪

♪ Or a shot in the dark, ♪

♪ Friends are there ♪

- ♪ I don't care ♪

- ♪ But friends will ♪

♪ Care for you ♪

- Don't forget, kids,

Look both ways

Before crossing your teacher.

[ Snoring ]

What day is it?

Oh, what if it's monday?

Yeah, I know

Yesterday was friday,

But mondays are sneaky.

It would be just like one

To bump off saturday

And sunday so it could

Get at me sooner.

Please don't be monday.
Please don't be monday.

Here goes. Not monday.

Phew, that was close.

Wait a minute.

What does it say there?

Jon's birthday.

Jon's birthday.

And I don't have

Any money to get him anything.

What'll I do?

- And remember,

We're still looking for people

To win big prizes.

All you have to do

Is become a contestant on tv's

Hottest new game show,

Name that fish.

- Hey, I know everything

About fish.

That's it. I'll win jon

A birthday present.

- Yes, it's time for tv's

Hottest and wettest game show,

Name that fish, with your host

Binky the clown.

And now, here's binky.

[ Applause ]

- ♪ I'm a quiet kind of guy ♪

♪ I'm really sort of shy ♪

♪ I'm being sincere

♪ And rather thinky ♪

♪ But whenever I go out ♪

♪ The kids begin to shout ♪

♪ Look, guys, over there, ♪

♪ It's binky ♪

♪ So I go, hey,
kids, don't be lazy ♪

Hey kids, let's get crazy

Run and jump and hop, don't
let your pants fall down

Fun time doesn't stop when

You're with binky the clown

Hey, kids,

Hey, kids, hey, kids,

You think this is just a little

Undignified?

[ Applause ]

Alright. It's time to play

Name that fish.

Get us our first

Contestant, gary.

- Will do, binky.

We're looking for garfield cat.

[ Clearing throat ]

Garfield cat.

Hey, you. Yes, you.

Garfield cat, come on down.

[ Applause ]

Well, tell us about him, gary.

Right away binky,
garfield is from

About eight blocks away,

And his hobbies are annoying

Small dogs and sleeping.

Back to you, binky.

- Thank you, gary.

Now, garfield,

Just for having the guts

To show up here today,

We have a lovely present

For you. Don't we, gary?

- Right you are, binky.

Its a tomato bender.

Now you can bend your tomatoes

With the tomato bender

The professionals use.

Back to you binky.

- Just what I always wanted,

I don't think.

- Now, you have to answer

This question or name that fish.

Are you ready? Good.

Christopher columbus

Discovered america.

What'd he have for breakfast

That morning?

[ Buzzer ]

I'm sorry. Time's up.

[ Losing horn sound effect ]

But anyway, it was
a trick question.

Columbus didn't have breakfast

That morning. Ha ha ha.

- It's just as well,

Seeing as how I don't talk.

- But we have a nice prize

For you anyway. Gary?

- Yes, it's an ostrich waxer --

Now you can wax your ostrich

With the ostrich waxer

The professionals use.

Back to you, binky.

- Thank you, gary.

And now, garfield cat,

It's time for you

To name that fish.

[ Audience cheering ]

Alright. For $500,
name that fish.

Help him, audience.

[ Countdown timer ]

[ Audience mumbling ]

You have selected trout.

All right, gary.

Tell us the right answer.

- All right, binky.

The name of that fish

Is walter.

[ Losing horn sound effect ]

- Too bad.

- I don't like this game.

- You didn't win the money,

But we have a nice prize

For you, don't we, gary?

- We sure do, binky.

It's an elephant collar.

Now you can collar your elephant

With the elephant collar

The professionals use.

Take it away, binky.

- Thank you, gary.

Plus we also have for you

A copy of our home game.

- What excitement.

[ Sirens ]

- You know what
that sound means?

- It means you get to play

The name that fish bonus round.

Gary, tell him

What he has a change to win.

- And I will, binky.

It's a vacation.

Yes, you'll spend --

Three glorious days

And 16 miserable nights

At the beautiful hotel trousers

Where the c*ck

Are smaller than the bellhops,

But not by much.

And it's a new car,

It's the spaghetti 7,

The first car made completely

Out of ravioli.

Just fill it up

With unleaded marinara sauce,

And off you go.

And it's all yours,

You lucky devil,

Courtesy of name that fish.

Binky.

- Thank you, gary.

Now, for our bonus round,

You go into the booth.

- Jon, what I do for you.

- You have 30 seconds

To eat all these fish

Before the water gets too high.

Well, you better start.

- This can't be happening

To me.

It's gotta be a dream.

Please let it all be a dream.

- Hey, cat, where you going?

- See, I knew it.

I'm still sound asleep.

What? Where--ahh,

It was just a dream.

That awful clown,

I hope I never see him again.

[ Doorbell rings ]

- I'll get it.

Yes?

- Are you jon arbuckle

And is today your birthday?

- Yes.

- Hey, gary, tell him

What we have for him.

- Right you are, binky.

Jon arbuckle,

You'll receive a special

Binky birthday surprise

First, he'll sing happy birthday

To you in a restaurant

And embarrass you

In front of all your friends

Then he'll present

Humiliating gifts to you

Hit you with pies

And dress you in a costume

Guaranteed to make you wish

You were never born.

These and other

Demeaning birthday surprises

Are all yours courtesy

Of binky the clown.

- Well, what do you say?

- There. I got rid of him.

That's your present.

Happy birthday.

- Giddy up, horsie. Giddy up.

Whoo-hoo.

- Ride 'em, cowboy.

- Having fun, guys?

- Whoa, there.

Scram, nitwits.

Make room for a real--

[ Horse neighing ]

Yeah, horse. Faster!

Faster, you stupid horse!

What's the--what's the big idea?

Pigs love mud.

- Yes. But we horses are

Afraid of mud.

Whoa, watch me sh**t the curl.

Watch me hang ten, uh, four.

Here comes another wave.

I'm trying to invent

Mud surfing.

- Oh, this is a calamity

And a catastrophe.

What a disaster. Oh,
woe is all of us

- Wade, you have got to

Stop panicking like that.

- But this is bad,

Bad news, orson.

- Wade, there is no news

In the world that could be

So awful that it warrants

That kind of panic.

What is it?

- Your brothers are coming

To visit?

Oh, this is a calamity

And a catastrophe.

Oh, woe is everyone,

Me especially.

- You told me never to panic.

- But this is serious.

You never heard

How my brothers

Used to treat me.

They used to play

Runt ball with me,

And I was the runt.

- Hey, brother.

- Yeah, let's toss around

The old pigskin, shall we?

- Oh, let's.

- Hey, guys. Don't do this.

- 17, 91, Eleventy-six. Hike.

- Go out for a pass.

- I got him. I got him.

Shucks, I missed.

- My brothers coming here

Is the worst thing

In the whole world.

- Hey, chill down, pigaroo.

Don't get your bacon

In an uproar.

- Hey, bo, you're always

So calm and unlike i.

How do you do it?

- There's no point

In getting bananas

Just because you got

Some bad news or, like,

Things went wrong

Or they're sneaking music

In behind you to cue your song.

♪ If someone keeps ♪

♪ Picking on you, ♪

♪ Making fun of
you all the time ♪

♪ There's always a way ♪

♪ To get through it ♪

♪ Without you losing your mind ♪

♪ Just stay cool ♪

♪ Don't get uptight ♪

♪ Just stay cool ♪

♪ Don't let little things

Get to you ♪

♪ Everything will be alright ♪

♪ Just stay cool ♪

- ♪ If your baseball breaks ♪

♪ Somebody's window ♪

♪ Or there's a wolf ♪

♪ At your front door ♪

♪ No sense in
worrying about it, ♪

♪ You've been through stuff ♪

♪ Like this before ♪

♪ Just stay cool ♪

♪ Don't get uptight ♪

♪ Just stay cool ♪

♪ Yeah, that's right ♪

♪ Don't let little things

Get to you ♪

♪ Everything will be alright ♪

♪ If you just stay cool ♪

♪ I mean, cool, mm-hmm ♪

- Great advice, bo,

But I have a real problem here.

- Hey, man, just scope it out.

There's only two kinds

Of problems in the world,

The ones you can solve,

The ones you can't.

No point worrying about

The ones you can solve,

And no point worrying about

The ones you can't.

Ha ha, hey, it's simple,

Man. It's true.

You just gotta do

A double scope man.

Cool out.

♪ If your garden
just ain't rowing ♪

♪ If you sink when you ♪

♪ Start rowing ♪

♪ Stay cool ♪

Yeah, make like an icicle

Be cool, yeah, cool

Whoo cool,

Real cool

- You should listen

To that person there.

That is one cool sheep.

- You're right.

I'm gonna follow his advice.

I'm gonna be cool.

- Hey, brother, where are you?

- Right after they leave.

- Hey, wool face,

Where's the runt?

- Hey, give it a rest, man.

Cut your brother some slack.

- Oh, the sheep's

Gonna hurt us.

- Hey, sheep,

Take it on the lamb.

[ Laughing ]

- You're wasting your time,

Guys. You can't get bo here mad.

- Oh, we can't, can't we?

[ Oinks and laughs ]

- Afraid not, fellas.

- Suppose we was to pull

On your wool. [ Oinks ]

Would that make you mad?

- No, that wouldn't

Make me mad.

- Supposing we were to dribble

You like a basketball,

And bankshot you.

Would that make you mad?

- No, that wouldn't

Make me mad.

- Hey, this guy's no fun.

[ Oinks ]

- No fun at all.

- Yeah, let's go find

Our runty brother.

- Gee, I wonder where orson is.

He must have left town.

Orson must be far,

Far away in another country

Or something.

Please don't hurt me.

He's in here.

Sorry, orson, I'm a coward.

- I know. And I understand.

- Hi, brother.

- Care for a little game...

- Of runt ball?

[ Laughing ]

- Guys, don't do this.

Guys, please don't do this.

- Oops, I missed.

- No, I got it.
- No, I got it.

- I want to kick the extra...

[ Oinks ] point.

- It's my turn.

[ Pigs oinking ]

- Guys want to play tug-o'-w*r?

Might get me real mad

If you won?

- Really? Ha ha ha.

Sure, sheep.

- So we can get back

To orson later.

- You, uh, got it wrapped

Tight around you?

- Sure thing.

[ Oinks ] we're gonna pull that

There sheep right into the mud.

- How do you figure

On doing that?

- Well, you're on the other end

Of this rope, and we, uh...

- Uh, who is at the
other end of this rope?

- Bus.

- Bus?

- Yeah, the 3:14 bus

To the next county, dudes.

- Hey, brother,

What time you's got?

- 3:14. Uh-oh.

- Oh, thank you

A thousand times.

- And you got mad, bo.

I never saw you get mad before.

- Oh, I get mad, wade.

I just save it up

For when folks

Are mistreating my friends.

- But what do we do

When the bus comes back

With them in four hours?

- Hey, like, no sweat.

Got a train schedule right here.

They'll be just in time

For the 7:25 for californ-i-a.

- I like it.

- It's all just a matter

Of staying cool.

- Garfield,

Where are you going?

That's not a hot dog.

That's a hot dog truck.

I hope you feel like

A complete idiot.

- I do feel kind of silly.

- What are you chasing now?

- Well, I have to have dessert,

Don't i?

♪ You shouldn't start rumors ♪

♪ Don't start rumors ♪

♪ Don't start rumors ♪

I'm in the mood

For something exotic today.

I think I'll go down

To the tropical fish shop

And play buffet.

[ Barking ]

Sorry, but you can't

Come with me.

You'll get into trouble.

[ Dog whines ]

Yeah, I know.

It wouldn't have hurt me

To let him tag along. Okay.

Odie. All right.

I guess you're handy
to have along.

If we get lost,

We can always follow the trail

Of doggie drool home.

[ Arf ]

Yuck.

See, odie?

The sign says don't walk.

You should always do

What the sign says.

See? Don't walk.

And now it's changing to bark?

[ Barking ]

Don't bark.

Don't bark?

Polka?

[ Polka music ]

I don't understand it,

But at least I won't get

A ticket.

Here we are.

Tropical fish,

My favorite place to eat,

Except that they usually

Get really rude when you

Bring in tartar sauce.

[ Whines ]

Oh, you want to know

What these signs mean.

Well, this one means no smoking.

This one means no food.

And this one means,

Mm, I'm gonna need

One of my brilliant disguises

If I'm gonna get in there

This time.

There, they'll never

Recognize me now.

- Huh?

- But you might blow my cover,

Odie, so you'll have to wait

Out here.

And I don't want you

Getting in any trouble.

You stay right there on that x.

You understand?

- Yeah, yeah, yeah.

- Now, whatever you do,

No matter what happens,

Don't move.

Remember, don't move.

Ah, a menu.

I wonder what

The guppy du jour is.

Boy, there sure are a lot

Of fish jokes in the show

This week.

- Hey, there's a dog

Over there.

Quiet doggy, you're
going to the pound

Like it or not.

[ Dog whimpering ]

[ Barking ]

[ Car horns blaring ]

[ Barge horn blaring ]

[ Growling ]

- Hey, pelican,

Get off of here.

[ Sirens ]

- Come on, it's safe.

Jump.

- I'm afraid to jump.

Whoa.

- Hey, where did you

Come from, fella?

Nice doggie.

We're gonna have to call

The animal shelter about you.

- Everything's under control

Here, but we got a call

Over on grove avenue.

- Let's roll.

Have to take you
along with us, fella

No time to stop.

Hold on.

These turns are kind of sharp.

[ Barking ]

- You moved.

- Hmm?