04x02 - Trial and Error/An Egg-Citing Story/Supermarket Mania

[bunniefuu]

- [Narrator]

- [Narrator] Ladies

- [Narrator] Ladies and

- [Narrator] Ladies and
gentlemen

- [Narrator] Ladies and
gentlemen Garfield

- [Narrator] Ladies and
gentlemen Garfield and

- [Narrator] Ladies and
gentlemen Garfield and Friends.

- [Narrator] Ladies and
gentlemen[upbeat music]Friends.

♪ We're, we're ♪

♪ Ready, ready ♪

♪ To, to ♪

♪ Party ♪

♪ We're ready to
party, we're ready ♪

♪ I hope you bring
lots of spaghetti ♪

♪ I'm scared ♪

♪ Come on in, come to the
place where fun never ends ♪

♪ Come on in it's time to party
with Garfield and Friends ♪

♪ Dancing, fiesta,
romancing, siesta ♪

♪ Samba, la bamba, aye carumba ♪

♪ Disguises, disguises ♪

♪ Surprises, surprises ♪

♪ And pies of-- and
pies of all sizes ♪

♪ Come on in, come to the
place where fun never ends ♪

♪ Come on in it's time to party
with Garfield and Friends ♪

♪ Come on in it's time to party
with Garfield and Friends ♪

♪ Garfield and Friends ♪

- You notice how every week I
say something different here?

- [Narrator] The icy
fingers of the storm

seemed to grip the house.

Each flash of lightning
punctuated the terror within.

As he moved through the rooms
he could sense the terror

of the monster's hot breath
somewhere, lurking, waiting.

And just when he dared to think

that he might escape
unscathed, it happened.

- Look I thought we had a deal?

You can have the
leftover macaroni

and that moo goo gai pan

from last year but you leave
my banana dumplings alone.

[somber music]

- [Narrator] That's
a scene from The Cat,

today's movie reviewed for
mice on Squeak Previews.

Welcome to Squeak Previews

the TV show that critiques

the latest motion
pictures made for mice.

Squeak Previews is
brought to you by cheese.

Nine out of 10 mice agree
that cheese is good.

And now your hosts noted mice
film critics Dean and Rupert.

- Thank you and good evening.

Tonight we take a look at
a shocking new documentary

about the greatest battle
ever fought by mice.

They were battling most
fearsome horrifying creatures

who ever appear on a
movie screen, the cat.

So then, here it is our
exclusive squeak preview

of this gripping docu-drama.

[dramatic music]

- [Narrator] By day the
Beast sleeps but by night

the beast also sleeps.

But then when it spots an
innocent unsuspecting mouse

the savage fury
leaps into action.

Well sometimes they're less
observant than other times,

still the cautious
mouse must be quiet

for the slightest sound will
instantly awaken the cat.

[book crashing]

[items clattering]

This mouse was fortunate.

[mouse coughing]

Apparently nothing could awaken
this particular pussycat.

Our hero decided to make
use of his good fortune

and dine on a small piece
of slightly stale cheddar.

But as this example
graphically proves,

one should never
underestimate the enemy.

The brave mouse was
not to be denied.

He tried employing
commando tactics.

[alarms ringing]

[upbeat music]

[dramatic music]

He tried disguises.

[Odie whimpers]

- Not a bad resemblance,

especially in the
brains department.

- [Narrator] And so the heroic
mouse pondered what to do.

The honor of rathood
was at stake.

Finally he decided the situation
called for nothing less

than an all-out effort.

In short order he said
about rounding up an army.

For weeks he put them through
a period of intense training.

They had to be ready
for the greatest mission

in the history of mousedom.

The next morn, the
campaign was launched.

They attacked by land.

They attacked by air.

They even attacked by sea.

It was then that a
lookout spotted them

and gave out with a
secret warning signal.

- Garfield, Garfield, Garfield!

- [Narrator] The mice
had to move quickly,

for our deadly enemy
had been alerted.

It was then that the
beast sprang into action.

He sent out for pizza.

- Garfield this is your
job, get rid of those mice.

- It's a dirty job but
somebody has to do it.

- [Narrator] And so
the evil cat set about

to work his fiendish plan.

- Jon's dirty socks,

Odie's blanket after
national fertilizer week

and Jon's feeble
attempt at salmon mousse

containing eight week old
salmon and 10 week old mousse.

Just be happy they haven't
invented smell-o-vision yet.

- The cat had stooped
to the lowest,

most diabolical act of
them all a sneak attack.

In seconds the brave mice
mission was thwarted.

Our forces had to flee for
their very lives and noses.

But though the mission ended
in disgrace and failure,

the fight is not yet over.

For now let this be a
warning to mice everywhere.

Beware of the cat.

[bright music]

- Well that's our
Squeak Previews preview

of this exciting new documentary
and I personally loved it.

- Well Dean that surprises
me, I can't agree.

I find it shames us all

by glorifying such a moment of
stark failure for all mice.

It stinks, I'm
giving it tails down.

- What are you talking about?

That was a gripping
inspirational portrait

of our people's greatest battle,

accurately portrayed I might
add, I'm giving it tails up.

- Let me get this straight--

- No I think you're the
one who needs to get

straightened out
because I don't think

you know what you're
talking about.

[mice screaming]

- Hey if you think
this movie stinks

you ought to smell
our living room.

Everyone's a critic these days.

The cat senses the
approach of danger.

[Opie barking]

The dog approaches bent on
wreaking havoc on the cat.

The dog threatens to do
bodily harm to the cat.

The dog flees,
fearing for his life.

Another stirring episode in
the life and death struggle

of house pets.

- [Narrator] And as
the fear hung low

over the chill London Street,

the man they all knew
as the kindly Dr. Jekyll

toiled in his laboratory
to complete the formula.

- Some Eye of Newt, a
few hummingbird toenails,

a cup of nails--

- That's the worst recipe
for a malted I ever heard.

- Quiet Roy.

- [Narrator] And so Dr. Jekyll
downed the ghastly concoction.

[dramatic music]

In seconds it transformed
him into a walking nightmare.

- Whatcha reading Orson?

Well I was reading Dr.
Jekyll and Mr. Hyde

but I keep being interrupted.

It transformed him into--

- Who keeps
interrupting you Orson?

- It transformed him into--

- I'm not interrupting you am I?

- No, Wade, it transformed--

- I'm sure glad I'm
not interrupting you.

I hate it when people
interrupt other people

especially when other
people are talking.

- Leave it to me
Orson, I'll get rid

of this feathered
station right here.

Stick around Wade, Orson's
reading us a scary story

- [stammers] A scary story?

I'm scared of scary stories.

Help.

Help scary stories,
scary stories.

- He did the same thing
with last night's story.

- Last night's story
was Peter Cottontail.

- I know.

Wade suffers from a fear of
the names Mopsy and Fluffy.

- Can we get on with this?

Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde
is a classic tale of fear

and psychological terror.

- Did the potion really turn
Dr. Jekyll into a monster?

- Well some people think
it wasn't the potion,

but a form of self-hypnosis.

- Help scary story scary story.

Gee mayhaps I was
rude to Orson perhaps.

I should go back, apologize
and then run panic-stricken

all over town.

- That's silly, you're
saying this Dr. Jerkle

hypnotized himself?

- It's Jekyll and
yes it's possible.

He may have harnessed
always hidden anger

to turn himself into a monster.

- But how can you
hypnotize yourself?

- Oh that's easy,
you just tell yourself

I am getting sleepy
I am getting sleepy.

- That's silly Roy no one
has so little brainpower

they'd fall asleep from that.

[snoring]

But you could plant a
hypnotic suggestion.

- You mean like I'll
turn into a monster

whenever I hear a bell?

- I'll turn into a monster
whenever I hear a bell.

- Yeah something like that.

[vocalizing]

- All set.

- Looks like at feast.

- And it's gonna be our feast.

- At least.

- Hey dudes, soup's on.

[bell ringing]

Bon appetite.

- Bo's got supper ready.

- Okay we'll finish the story
of Dr. Jekyll another time.

- I'll turn into a monster
whenever I hear a bell.

A bell?

[dramatic music]

- Wade, yoo-hoo Wade?

[breathing heavily]

Wade time for din-dun, ducky.

Oh there you are.

Come on and shut down man.

- Oh my I must answer the phone.

- Hello could I interest you
in a set of encyclopedias?

Yeah, that's the
reaction I usually get.

[booth exploding]

- Not yet Booker
let's wait for Wade.

- I'm not waiting for anyone.

What's this dish?

That's the worst
looking meatloaf

I've ever seen in my life.

You ain't exactly the blue
plate special yourself fella.

- It's your brother, Orson.

- Brother's plural.

You let us out of here.

- Yeah you're like the rudest
guests I've ever seen dudes.

- You think that's rude, we're
taking your whole dinner.

- Just think of this
as an order to go.

- There's no hope.

Hey Wade's still out there.

- Like I said there's no hope.

- Like where is that duck,

it's dinnertime in
the barnyard clock's

about to strike seven, man.

[clock tolling]

- What am I doing here?

- Well you can
get pounded, duck.

- Arive derche duckos, they're
gonna pound our pal man.

- We've gotta get out
of this and save him.

- You know what we're
gonna do to you duck?

- Let me go without harming
a feather on my body?

- Just flatten the boy and
let's get on with our dinner.

- Poor, poor Wade.

- It's a m--m-m--

- The word you're looking
for is m-m-m-monster.

[vocalizing]

- Yeah like complete
with my dinner bell.

[ringing bell]

It still works man!

- Wade, you're all right.

- So, why shouldn't I be?

- There was a monster and my
brothers and, oh never mind

let's just sit down
and have dinner.

- Like the microwave
ought to tell me

the dessert's done any second.

- Wade, you ate a lot.

- I guess I was hungrier
than I thought. [belching]

Excuse me.

[upbeat music]

[Garfield snoring]

[calm music]

- [Nermal] Like the fog, Nermal
comes on little cat feet,

with built-in sneakers.

- [Alarm] Warning, you are too
close to this refrigerator.

Step back or the
alarm will go off.

Repeat, you are too close
to this refrigerator.

Please step back.

- Garfield.

- Talking refrigerator
alarm with infrared sensors

reacts to body heat.

Latest thing for discouraging
unauthorized pigouts

and unwanted guest stars.

Take the hint Nermal.

- It just so happens
that yours truly,

the world's cutest kitten
is here to tell a story

on your show today, Garfield.

- Who says?

- The network, that's who.

- Fluctuations indicate
that the guest star

cute ability quotient
has a significant impact

on the actual numbers.

- Could I have that in English
or don't you speak that?

- Garfield, the bottom line
is that we want Nermal

to tell a story.

- Not on my show I'm
the star, remember?

So what if they don't like
it what can they do to me?

- [Narrator] Garfield and
friends will never be seen again

so that we may bring
you a new series

about housebreaking
snails for fun and profit.

- Okay okay you've
made your point.

Nermal can do the story.

- Fabulous, I'll
get back to you.

Your people will talk to my
people, let's do lunch, ciao.

- This had better be good.

- So this is what it
feels like to be a star.

- Until you feel the
responsibility for the success

of the show, you don't know
what it feels like yet.

Caterer! Charge this tidbit
to the Star's account please.

- Anything you say sir.

- Today I'm going to
tell you a true story

that really happened.

It's about a legendary
American folk bureau.

There were many heroes
in the early days

when the country was
expanding westward.

We've all heard of Davy
Crockett, Kit Carson,

and Daniel Boone to name a few.

Paul Bunyan was the
mightiest of mighties.

And so was his big, blue cat.

Sacrebleu! Big blue!

- How about giving us a
hand with these trees?

- Timber.

[trees crashing]

[men shouting]

- Paul Bunyan was the greatest
lumberjack of them all

and while he worked
the big blue cat slept.

He used an entire
valley for his bed.

When he wasn't sleeping
the big blue cat

liked to engage in his
third favorite pastime,

annoying small puppies.

Now Paul Bunyan kept
an entire crew of cooks

whose only job was to
feed the big blue cat.

Sometimes they needed his help.

- We need some more ice Paul.

[slurping]

- Zut alors, he just drank

- It's alright it's
diet, only one calorie.

- But you know what is next.

- Oh no I forgot,
sound the alarm.

[alarm bells ringing]

[Garfield belching]

- The workers worked all
day feeding the big blue cat

but the cat had the world's
biggest sandbox too.

Wagon teams were kept busy
hauling to stand for it.

In fact, the entire
California coastline was dug

by the teams of workers who
loaded the sand into the wagons.

- Okay that's it, enough.

Strike the fantasy sequence.

How do you expect the viewing
public to believe a tall tale

full of wild
exaggeration like this?

A cat that eats that much.

Too fantastic for me to believe.

- Is that so?

Well in case you've forgotten
who you're dealing with--

- Oh really?

- Nermal, the hourly
sampling of key cities

indicates a plunge in the
ratings during this segment

possibly due to the low
believability index curve.

- Do you mean I'm canceled?

I mean in short your story is
too ridiculous and embarrassing

and you're fired
hit the freeway.

- I don't understand it.

- My boy you've
just learned one of

the more painful facts of life.

What the network giveth the
network can taketh awayeth.

- But what will I do now?

- I happen to know they're
looking for someone cute

to work on a show down the hall.

Hurry over to studio seven
and tell them I sent you.

- Okay thanks Garfield,
I'll never forget this.

Here it is, studio seven.

Maybe I'll get on a show that
appreciates true cuteness.

- Before we go on with my show

I think we should
see how he's doing.

- [Narrator] And now
back to our show,

Attack of the Mutant Dinosaurs.

[dramatic music]

- Help, this wasn't
in my contract.

I quit, Garfield help!

Garfield, this
dinosaur's 50 feet tall.

- See he's exaggerating again.

That dinosaur's
only 40 feet tall.

[upbeat music]