01x09 - Rupert and Raggety

[bunniefuu]

♪

(Birds chirping)

BILLI win again!

Let’s face it, Rupert.

When it comes to games of any

sort, Bill Badger never loses!

Another game?

If you like, but you know

when you play against me, you’re

doomed from the start!

Set them up, Bill.

Heh, I’m beginning to think

you like to lose.

Nobody likes losing, but win

or lose, I have fun playing!

Personally, I don’t see how

losing can be fun.

(Game pieces rattling)

Where did they go?

Look!

It looks like nothing’s been

moved in here for years.

Oh!

Ah-choo!

This place could use a dusting!

Bill, look!

Argh!

(Gasping)

Where does it go?

See for yourself!

(Gasping)

I don’t belie-- whoa!

Wait for me!

(Game ringing)

Wherever we are, Rupert, this

is fun!

Ahhh!

Rupert?

Rupert!

Over here, Bill!

We’re going in different

directions!

Whoa, ah!

Ohhh!

Oof!

Excuse me, but could one of

you--

GENERALRight then, new

recruits!

Fall in!

Attention!

As motley a crew of playing

pieces as I’ve ever seen!

My move!

What kind of playing piece are

you?

Me?

Well, actually, I’m not a

playing piece at all.

Not a playing piece?

Then, what are you?

I’ll ask the questions here!

Then, what are you?

My name is Rupert.

I’m a bear from Nutwood.

(Pieces whispering)

Quiet!

Nutwood, is it?

Never heard of that game.

What are the rules?

It’s not a game.

(Snickering)

Quiet!

But everything in Gameland is a

game.

Gameland?

As a matter of fact, we’re in

the middle of practicing for the

biggest game in Gameland’s

history!

A contest against the chess men.

That’s why we've called in the

new recruits.

We’re going to need all the help

we can get.

You’re more than welcome to join

us.

I’ve never heard of such a

game.

Chess men against all the other

pieces?

What fun it will be!

But I’m afraid I can't play.

You see, I came with a friend.

We were separated.

Perhaps after I find him, we

could--

Just leave it to me!

Volunteer, step forward!

Uh-oh!


Front and centre!

Be a good wink and find this

Rupert piece’s friend, will you?

His name’s Bill.

He’s about this tall, and he's

wearing--

If he looks anything like

you, I’m sure he won't be hard

to spot.

(Pieces giggling)

Right then, off you go.

Everyone else, man your

positions!

BILLStop shoving me, will

you?

Where are you taking me?

I’m not taking another step

until you tell me where I am!

Well, if that’s the way you want

it, at least tell me who’s in

charge around here.

(Gasping)

Of course!

The king!

And what manner of playing

piece are you supposed to be?

I’m-- I'm not a playing

piece.

I’m a-- a player.

(Gasping)

Bill Badger’s the name!

A player?

What game do you play?

Dominoes, bingo, cribbage,

chess?

Well, actually, all of them.

Interesting!

And how well do you play?

Well, let’s put it this way.

I’ve never lost a game!

So, obviously, you play to

win.

What other reason is there to

play at all?

Exactly!

You see, I’ve never lost a game

either!

You’re a grandmaster after my

own heart!

Come closer, Bill Player!

Whoa!

I want to hear about your

conquests, all your conquests!

My pleasure!

RUPERTIs this the first

time the different pieces have

played together?

Yes, and since we all move

quite differently, together our

diversity of mobility will give

us a definite advantage.

Stand by!

Let the manoeuvres be--

Look!

A spy!

Get him!

(Rumbling)

(Crashing)

Get him!

Look out!

Get him!

Get him!

Charge!

Retreat!

(Rumbling)

Retreat!

Oh, no!

(Gasping)

Ugh!

GENERALA chess man!

I should have guessed!

Obviously sent by the king to

spy on us!

I almost had him.

Not to worry.

Now that the interloper has been

revealed, he’ll trouble us no

more.

Thanks to you, Rupert!

Nice moves, you’re an asset to

our team.

Thank you!

Yes, our team.

The worst display of tactical

manoeuvres I’ve ever seen!

As I’m familiar with all the

different games, perhaps I can

help sort them out.

Hmm, it is crucial that we

confront the chess men as a


solid unit.

What do you suggest, Rupert?

(Whispering)

KINGA victory in only three

moves?

Brilliant!

Sudden, swift and sweet.

BILLNothing to it if you

truly know the game, but a

compliment nonetheless coming

from a grandmaster such as

yourself.

KINGActually, you may be

interested in a game that’s

about to be played.

(Pieces whispering)

A game unlike any other ever

played in Gameland before!

The ultimate game, in which my

chess men play against the

pieces of all the other games!

What is it?

What?

What?!

What!!

What?

The other side have just

recruited a new piece!

One that can not only move in

any direction like my queen, but

can jump, roll and leap, as

well!

Would this new piece be

about my size, with a red top,

yellow bottom and a scarf?

You know of him?

Rupert, Rupert Bear!

We’ve often played against each

other.

He’s good, mind you.

But not as good as you, eh?

Interesting.

Very interesting!

Ready?

Ready!

Let the manoeuvres begin!

Tiddly winks, forward!

♪

Magnificent!

A commendable, stunning display

of precision teamwork, Rupert.

With moves like this, we’re

certain to send those chess men

back to where they came from.

I wouldn’t count on it.

RUPERTBill!

Hello, Rupert!

You’ll never guess!

The most wonderful game is about

to be played, and I’m playing,

as well!

Heh, heh, I know all about

it.

I’m playing too, for the chess

men.

What?

That means we’re playing against

each other!

As always, and remember, I

always win!

Don’t be so sure this time,

Bill!

We’ve got a pretty good team.

Attention!

BILLHa, ha, perhaps, but no

match for the chess man, I’m

afraid.

Listen, Rupert, I thought it

only fair to give you the

opportunity to forfeit the game.

Forfeit?

You’d save yourself the

embarrassment of another defeat.

This is going to be brilliant

fun, Bill!

I wouldn’t dream of missing it

for anything!

Glad to hear it, Rupert.

I’ll see you at the game.

Good luck, Bill!

You too, Rupert!

Heh, heh, you’ll need it!

We’ll see about that!

(Cheering)

We’ll certainly give Bill and

the chess men a match they’ll

remember for a long time to

come.

Win, lose or draw!

(Gasping)


What-- what did I say?

We cannot, must not, under

any circumstance lose this game!

You’re beginning to sound

like Bill!

Having fun is what counts.

The outcome doesn’t matter!

The outcome is all that

matters, for if we lose this

game, all the playing pieces in

Gameland will also lose their

homes.

This time, we’re playing for

keeps!

RUPERTSo, you see, your

highness, you must call the game

off!

Call off a game that we’re

obviously going to win?

Yes, Rupert.

Why should we call it off?

Because every time the chess

men win a game, they take over

the whole board.

Our-- our boards are our

homes!

There’s only one board left,

Bill, and if the pieces lose

this game--

None of us will have a home!

(Laughing)

I’ve heard some tall stories,

but this one takes the biscuit!

(Laughing)

Can you believe that?

Heh, heh, heh!

(Laughing)

Yes, because it happens to be

true!

(Laughing)

Huh?

We’ve taken over all the

other game boards, and the only

way I’ll give them back is if

the pieces win the final game!

To do that, they’d have to knock

me down.

But that’s--

Impossible?

(Laughing)

Well, this is--

I mean, you can’t take their

homes!

Perhaps you should call it off?

Call it off?!

Forfeit the game?

That would mean a loss.

Bill!

I never lose, never!

The game will go on!

Let’s go, Rupert!

Coming, Bill?

It’s your choice, Bill

Player.

Loser, or winner?

Bill!

What are you waiting for?

Winner or loser?

They’re fighting for their

homes, Bill!

They’re going to need all the

help they can get!

Make your choice!

I’ve never lost a game

before, and I’m not going to

lose this one.

A winner to the last!

Bill, you can’t!

I’ve always said there's no

point in playing unless you’re

playing to win.

But-- but--

Let me show you the way out.

Whoa!

Rupert!

Don’t concern yourself.

You’ll see him again, when the

game begins!

Whoa!!

Oof!

I can’t believe that winning

is the only thing that Bill

cares about.

What are we going to do?

If the chess men won’t stop

this, then it’s up to the

others.

Come on!

(Game pieces chanting)

Hey-ey-oh!


Hey-ey-oh!

Hey-ey-ey-ey-ey!

RUPERTStop!

You’ve got to stop this!

It isn’t a game anymore, not

when your homes hang in the

balance!

There has to be another way to

settle this.

Not that the chess men will

understand.

But I’ve seen them!

We don’t stand a chance of

winning.

There’s always a chance.

Besides, we’ve got some tricky

moves, thanks to you.

(Rumbling)

Positions!

It’s our homes!

(King laughing)

It looks like they’re almost

in position.

Remember, Bill Player, as king’s

pawn, it is your duty to protect

your king.

If I fall, the game is lost!

And we’re not the sort who like

to lose, are we?

Don’t worry, I don't plan on

losing.

Let the game begin!

PIECESCharge!

Queen’s pawn to queen !

King’s knight to king's bishop

!

(Game pieces shouting)

(Rumbling)

This has to stop!

Rupert!

Ahh!

King’s pawn to king !

What are you waiting for, Bill

Player?

Move against the Rupert piece!

Whoa!

Rupert, are you hurt?

No, Bill, I’m angry!

How could you do this?

They’re fighting for their

homes, and all you’re concerned

about is winning.

Don’t you understand?

I’m on your side!

What?

It’s like they say, if you

can’t beat 'em, join ’em.

Then, beat ’em!

It’s going to take the two of us

to pull this off, so come on,

Rupert!

Let’s win this game!

Good one, Bill!

Hopefully, by the time the

king suspects anything, we’ll be

close enough and it’ll be too

late.

We’ve only got one chance.

King’s pawn, what are you

doing?

Pawn?

Bill!

Stop, stop!

Help!

Help, my queen!

Help!

Now!

No!

Ahhh!

(Crashing)

RUPERT AND BILLCheckmate!

The king is defeated!

The playing pieces win!

My move!

They’ve done it!

(Pieces cheering)

How could you do this?

We lost!

We lost!

You lost.

I changed sides.

I told you I had no intention of

losing.

(Sighing)

Heh, same old Bill.

Right then, king down, game

lost.

Now, off our board!

I demand a rematch.

Why, you!


This time, we’ll wipe you off

the face of the board!

RUPERTThat’s enough!

Yes, enough of your meddling!

You don’t belong here.

What do you know about games?

I know they’re supposed to be

fun.

You tell him, Rupert!

This is anything but fun!

So, go at it, all of you.

I don’t care!

Huh?

Rupert, what are you saying?

They’ll destroy each other!

We have to do something.

Rupert!

We are going to do something,

Bill.

We’re going to watch the game.

I promise it will be the best

game you’ve ever witnessed.

It had better be.

It’ll be the last game you ever

play.

Last game?

Well, after this, there’ll be

no one else for you to play

against.

That means no more games in

Gameland.

(Game pieces gasping)

He’s right!

No more games!

Oh, uh, um...

But it’s just as well.

Without fun, everyone everywhere

will stop playing games, anyway.

(Game pieces gasping)

No more Gameland!

But, uh, uh...

But that doesn’t matter.

All that counts is winning, so

go ahead.

Let the game be--

Wait!

Perhaps, perhaps there are more

important things than winning,

like playing the game and

playing for, uh-- for, uh, fun.

Win or, uh, win or--

Lose?

(Sighing)

Win or lose.

I am returning the game boards

we have taken.

My move!

(Cheering)

On one condition!

Which is?

If you’re ever in the

neighbourhood, you must promise

you’ll drop in for a friendly

game.

Thanks for the invitation.

That would be, uh... fun!

(Chuckling)

(Game pieces cheering)

Amazing!

You did it, Rupert!

I couldn’t have played that one

better myself.

With moves like that, I don’t

know why you’ve never beaten me.

Maybe because it’s fun having

you come back for more, Bill.

You don’t mean...

Your move!

I win.

You let me win, didn’t you?

Set them up again, Bill.

Come on, Rupert.

I know you did, didn’t you?

You move first.

Okay, but this time, don’t

let me win.

I want to do it myself, okay?

Okay, Rupert?

Your move, Bill!

Let me think about this.

Take all the time you need.

♪