02x07 - Rupert and Uncle Grizzly

[bunniefuu]

Rupert?

Rupert?

Hello, is anybody--?

(Gasping)

Prune and onion sandwiches!

Pickles!

Lemonade!

Come to Podgy.

Hold it right there, partner.

You know, here at the RB Ranch,

we don’t take too kindly to

lunch rustlers.

I wasn’t going to wrestle it,

I was going to eat it.

Sorry, Podgy, but I’ve got to

practice.

I don’t want to look like a

tenderfoot when I go to visit my

uncle Grizzly in the Wild West!

Hmm, the Wild West doesn’t

look so wild to me.

In fact, it looks a little

colourless.

Could you untie me now, please?

My Uncle Grizzly says it’s

"plenty wild, specially when

you’re prospecting for gold."

But you’ve been talking about

that trip for weeks, Rupert, and

your uncle Grizzly still hasn’t

sent for you.

MANPackage for you, Rupert.

Thanks.

I knew it!

It’s from Uncle Grizzly.

How timely.

What’s all the excitement

about, boys?

Uncle Grizzly says he wants

me to visit him right away.

He needs my help.

He’s closer than ever to

finding the motherlode.

Whose mother-in-law?

Motherlode, Podgy.

When you find the motherlode,

you’ve struck it rich.

Poor old Grizzly.

How many times over the years

has he thought he struck gold?

Oh, he’s always been a

dreamer.

I suppose that’s where you get

it from, Rupert.

Does this look like a dream?

Oh, my!

I say!

PODGYWould you mind very

much untying me?

Couldn’t someone untie me?

Anyone?

First time in the Wild West,

son?

Yes, and it looks just as

wild as I’d imagined.

Oh, it’s wild, all right.

A little too wild for my liking

sometimes.

(Laughing)

All this wildness takes its toll

on the nerves, if you know what

I mean.

The name’s Shot.

Buck Shot.

Bear.

Rupert Bear.

Pleased to make your

acquaintance, Rupert.

Will you be staying with kinfolk

while you’re here?

Yes, I’ll be staying with my

Uncle Grizzly.

(Laughing)

Did you say "Grizzly"?

ALLDid he say "Grizzly"?

Yes, I did, but--

He did!

(Laughing)

What’s so funny?

(Brakes squealing)

What’s going on?

Why are we stopped?

Could only be but one thing.

We’s about to be robbed.

I just hope that this time, it’s

the James g*ng or the Dalton

g*ng.

Any g*ng but the--

(All gasping)

ALLThe French g*ng.


Bonjour, tout le monde.

Nous sommes francais.

Howdy, y’all.

We’re French and we're a-fixing

to rob you silly.

Dans the sac, "silver plate".

(Laughing)

Y’all better do what he says.

Shouldn’t we stop them?

Shouldn’t we--?

Do something?

I am doing something, I’m

hiding.

And you ought to hide too.

Delbert and Dewey McSwine can be

a mighty rough pair.

Delbert and Dewey McSwine?

Tout de suite.

Vite, vite, vite now.

They just pretend to be

French ’cause they think we

won’t recognize them that way.

Best just to play along, Rupert.

Will you looky here.

Don’t you got a little something

to contribute?

No, I don’t have anything.

Well, ain’t that pretty.

It looks just like gold.

You can’t take that.

My Uncle Grizzly gave that to

me.

Grizzly?

Grizzly?

(Laughing)

If Grizzly gave you this,

it’s bound to be fool's gold,

but I think I’ll hang on to it

anyway, for sentimental reasons.

(Laughing)

Merci beaucoup, tout le

monde.

A la prochaine fois.

Thanks, y’all.

We should’ve stopped them.

(Exclaiming)

I’m sorry, Rupert, but in the

Wild West, cowardice is

sometimes the better part of

valour, especially where the

McSwines are concerned.

Best just to forget about it.

But shouldn’t we at least

report this to the police?

I mean, to the sheriff?

No need, I am the sheriff.

(Laughing)

♪

Rupert!

Uncle Grizzly!

Good to see you, boy.

How was your trip?

It was fine, until the

robbery.

I should’ve warned you about

that.

They’ll soon be printing the

robbery times right alongside

the train schedule.

But Uncle Grizzly, they took

the gold nugget you sent me.

Those mangy, good-for-nothing

prairie dogs.

Well, never mind, Rupert.

There’s more gold where that

came from.

Law and order just ain’t what it

used to be in this town, not

since Big Ma McSwine started

running things, anyways.

Big Ma McSwine?

Yep.

Big Ma started out in the

lumber business.

But she made her fortune by

lying, cheating and stealing.

Now she owns just about

everything worth owning in this

town.

Hotel McSwine, the McSwine

General Store, the McSwine

Burger Restaurant, McSwine

Barbershop, Big Ma’s Big Clothes

for Big Ladies.

I see what you mean.

Come on, son, we best get in

the saddle.

We got a long ride ahead of us.

Where are the horses?

This is old Maybelle right


here.

(Braying)

Hey, Grizzly, have you struck

the motherlode yet?

(Laughing)

You’re looking richer by the

day, Grizzly.

(Laughing)

Why are they laughing at us?

They’re laughing at me,

Rupert.

They all think I’m just a crazy

old fool ’cause I been searching

for gold in the same spot for

the last years.

But I’m going to prove them all

wrong.

I’m going to prove that old

Grizzly’s no fool.

I’m going to prove there is gold

in Fool’s Canyon.

Fool’s Canyon?

Down below is Fool’s Canyon.

Over yonder is Coffee Creek, and

up above is Coffee Pot Falls.

Beautiful.

The only thing that ain’t

beautiful is, that with the

exception of Fool’s Canyon,

everything as far as you can see

is owned by Big Ma McSwine.

That’s the McSwine spread

yonder.

The McSwine de Rosa.

Hey, Grizzly, is that you?

What are you doing carrying them

two fellas on your back?

And that’s Delbert and Dewey.

(Laughing)

I don’t like to be critical, but

them two boys is lower than a

pair of c*ck’s ankle

socks.

RUPERTWhy do they call it

"Fool’s Canyon", Uncle Grizzly?

Well, because the creek

here’s filled with fool's gold,

Rupert.

Fool’s gold?

Iron pyrite.

Looks nice and shiny, but it

ain’t worth the dirt on your

boot.

Many an eager prospector’s been

fooled by it.

You’ll see plenty of it

tomorrow.

After all this time, don’t

you ever feel like giving up?

Once you latch onto a dream,

Rupert, never let anyone take it

away from you.

That’s what's happened to

the folks in town.

They had a dream, but before

they knew it, the McSwines

swiped it right out from under

their noses.

Big Ma McSwine’s been after my

property for years, but she

ain’t going to get it.

Not from this old bear.

Never let them take your dream,

Rupert.

Never.

(Snoring)

(Howling)

I don’t know what you two

boys want to go robbing trains

for anyhow.

We’re already filthy rich.

Well, we just want to be

stinkin’ filthy rich, Ma.

(Laughing)

I got news for you, you’ve

had the "stinkin’" part down for

some time.

Aww, Ma, robbing trains is

just a hobby.

It’s like-- Like coin

collecting.

And couldn’t nobody

recognize it was us, Ma.

I talked French the whole time.

He’s good at it, Ma.

He really is.

I didn’t hardly understand a

word he said.

It’s true.

I’m almost nearly, completely


fluent.

I don’t know why I do it.

Working my fingers to the bone,

lying and cheating and stealing

to get myself in a position

where I own every piece of

property in the entire region,

with the exception of crazy old

Grizzly’s place.

And why in tarnation would I

want that worthless piece of

rock, you might ask?

Simple, malicious greed, I

reckon.

Anyways, the point is... Well, I

forgot what the point is.

The point is, looky here, Ma.

Y’all did pretty good this

time, boys.

Thanks, Ma.

Hey, what’s this?

Oh, that’s just a piece of

fool’s gold old Grizzly gave to

his unsuspecting little nephew.

I was going to make a tooth

out of it.

This ain’t fool's gold.

This here’s the real thing.

As pure a gold nugget as I ever

laid my tired eyes on.

BOTHWe knew that.

Well, it looks as if crazy

old Grizzly ain’t nearly so

crazy as we thought.

And his worthless piece of rock

ain’t nearly so worthless

neither.

Nope.

Fool’s gold.

There certainly is a lot of

it.

I’ve been sifting this creek

for years, and she’s still as

full of fool’s gold as ever.

But Uncle Grizzly...

(Braying)

Watch out, son!

Whoa!

How did you know?

Tweren’t me.

Old Maybelle’s ears is so

sensitive, she can hear a

falling rock from a good quarter

mile away.

(Laughing)

Thanks, Maybelle.

Uncle Grizzly, what makes you so

sure you’ll find real gold here?

This.

Wow!

Is it real gold?

Sure is!

When did you find it?

Neigh on years ago.

I just know the motherlode’s

close-by.

years ago?

Will you look at the size of

that nugget?

Grizzly really has found the

motherlode.

Can I have a look, Ma?

Do you want I should roll

another rock down at him, Ma?

Nah, Delbert, that’ll never

work.

We tried buying him out, we

tried tricking him and scaring

him and plain old hurting him.

Can I have a look, Ma?

Now it’s time we really

started using our heads.

Well, I’d best get the

dynamite, then.

Never mind that.

You know how I feel about you

boys playing with dynamite.

Well, this ain’t playing, Ma.

This is serious business.

When me and Dewey blow Fool’s

canyon into a million bits...

Well, we won’t even hardly

enjoy it.

(Laughing)

We’re going to go about this

transaction in an intelligent,

civilised manner.

We’re going to offer Grizzly a

trade.

He’ll give us Fool's Canyon, and


we’ll give him something he

values more than all the gold in

the world.

Can I have a look, Ma?

Well, what’s say we break for

lunch, Rupert?

I say, "Yahoo!"

Whoops!

(Laughing)

Come on in, Uncle Grizzly.

No, thanks.

Once that water creeps up over

my kneecaps, it starts

resembling a bath a little too

much for my liking.

I’ll get lunch started.

(Laughing)

Hey!

Whoa!

What are you--?

(Muffled yelling)

Keep still, would you?

It’s downright impolite,

squirming around like that when

you know it makes it difficult

for Delbert to tie you up

proper.

(Muffled)You’ll never get

away with this.

Is that French he’s talking,

Dewey?

(Laughing)

Delbert, Dewey, he’s coming!

Get out here!

Where’s my nephew?!

How do you take your tea,

Grizzly?

One lump or two?

Never mind the lumps, never

mind the pleasantries.

Where’s my nephew?

What have you done with him?!

How about a biscuit, then?

Here’s the deed to Fool's

Canyon.

Now where’s Rupert?

I’m afraid he's tied up right

now!

(Laughing)

What?

The.

Heck?

Hey!

Hey!

Oof!

Come on, Uncle Grizzly!

Rupert!

Hey, you can’t take that,

it’s stolen property.

Get them!

Whoa!

Why do I get the feeling that

you two boys won’t be a comfort

to me in my old age?

Hurry!

Quick, in here!

Where’d them varmints go?

(Braying)

(Yelling)

Jump!

(Yelling)

Get after them!

(Yelling)

Hold on, log jam!

(Yelling)

Uncle Grizzly, are you afraid

of heights?

Only when I’m looking down

from them.

(Yelling)

(Yelling)

They’s a-headin' for the

spout!

Now where do we go?

Well, well, well.

Time for the dynamite, Ma?

Time for the dynamite.

Yes!

Light me.

(Laughing)

(Laughing)

Yow!

In here!

Uh-oh.

What do you mean, "uh-oh"?

Ah!

It looks like you two done a

fine job.

A fine job.

Thanks, Ma.


I’m awful sorry, Rupert.

What do you mean?

I’ve ruined your holiday,

I’ve put you in terrible danger,

and all because of my misguided

dream of finding gold in Fool’s

Canyon.

I’m nothing but a crazy old

fool.

I should’ve let the McSwines

have the canyon long ago.

But you’ve hung on to your

dream for years, Uncle

Grizzly.

You can’t just quit now.

(Laughing)

You know, Rupert, you might

be a little too much like your

old Uncle for your own good.

(Rumbling)

An underground river!

That’s right.

This ain’t just a back-up from

the falls, this here is the real

source of Coffee Creek.

Then that means...

This way.

You were right, Rupert, you

can’t give up on your dreams.

(Gasping)

The motherlode!

(Cheering)

We best not celebrate too

much till we find out where we

are.

I’ve kind of lost my bearings.

There.

Where are we, Rupert?

We’re in--

(g*n c*ck)

Trouble.

Ain’t that the

funniest-lookin’ gopher you even

seen?

(Laughing)

Hey!

I must say, Grizzly, you’re a

mighty hearty bear.

Huh?

You done found the motherlode,

and on my property.

Looks like we’re rich, boys.

Filthy, stinkin’ rich.

(Laughing)

Go get the dynamite, Delbert.

Yes, ma’am.

Our business transactions

with the bears is going to be

finally finalized.

So to speak.

I wouldn’t be too sure of

that.

What are you talking about,

boy?

Only a jackass would try to save

you now.

(Braying)

Huh?

(Yelling)

Hey, that ain’t fightin'

fair!

Delbert, they’re

getting away.

We got to do something.

But what can we do?

I don’t know.

Why don’t we do what we did last

time?

Good idea.

(Laughing)

Yow!

Uh-oh.

(Yelling)

Oh!

♪

(Yelling)

Huh?

Whoa!

♪

(Rumbling)

RUPERTYahoo!

(Laughing)

It looks as if you were right

all along, Uncle Grizzly.

There is gold in Fool’s Canyon.

Yep.

It just took its sweet time

getting here, is all.

(Laughing)

♪