02x09 - Rupert and Nessie

[bunniefuu]

(Birds chirping)

♪

(Whirring)

♪

(Bell ringing)

(Laughing)

(Eagle screaming)

Yahoo!

Whee!

(Whirring)

(Birds chirping)

♪

(Birds chirping)

(Whispering)

Shh!

(Yawning)

You know, Rupert,

an action-oriented pig like me

just wasn’t meant to waste his

time sitting around in

a library.

Shh!

Libraries and me, we just

don’t mix.

We’re like oil and honey,

milk and water, bread and...

No, bread goes with everything.

Why don’t you get something

to read?

You mean like... like a book?

I know it’s a crazy idea.

No, no, Rupert.

You might have something there.

(Blowing)

(Coughing)

"Encyclopaedia of Advanced

Thermo Astro Biophysics"?

Yeah, it’s one of

my favourites.

You’ve read it before?

Lots of times, Rupert.

Ah, there’s nothing like a good

sleep before you go to read.

(Snoring)

Podgy, Podgy, wake up.

(Snoring)

Podgy!

Shh!

(Clearing throat)

Shh!

You weren’t sleeping,

were you, Podgy?

Just now?

Oh, no.

Of course not.

I was much too busy reading.

But I heard you snoring,

Podgy.

In fact, we all heard

you snoring.

(Laughing)

"Snoring"?

Oh, that.

No, no.

You see, I suffer from a very

rare and serious condition.

When I’m involved in strenuous

intellectual labour,

like reading, my brain produces

an excess of, uhh,

batter "Glamulen" waves,

thus causing a severe

"Constriculation" of my

"Naso-sinorary" passages,

which naturally produces a sound

not unlike snoring.

(Chuckling)

Read!

"Batter glamulen waves"?

Nice try, Podgy.

She’s not looking.

Here’s our chance to escape.

But Podgy, we can’t just...

Come on, Podgy.

We should go back.

Ah, we’re just leaving a

couple of minutes early.

There must be a back way out

of here.

Shh!

Yikes!

Where are we?

I don’t know.

I’ve never been in here before.

It looks as if no one’s been in

here for years.

(Blowing)

Listen.

(Music playing in distance)

I think we better go back


now, Rupert.

Mrs. Gooseberry is looking

for us.

Don’t you hear that music?

Yes, I hear it.

But I do have a lot of reading

to do.

Wait a minute, Rupert.

Rupert, where did the door go?

Rupert, where did you go?

Rupert?

Look.

It sounds as if the music is

coming from that book.

Ah!

Uhh, Rupert, I don’t mean to

alarm you.

But you’re bathed in eerie,

yellow light.

Podgy, you’ve got to

see this.

Do I have to?

Come on.

Wow.

You see, Rupert?

I told you there was a back

way out.

Yes, but there doesn’t seem

to be a way back in from the

back way out.

The music’s coming from over

that hill.

♪

Hello.

Oh, hello.

I’m Rupert.

And this is Podgy.

We heard you playing.

I’m Fred, Fred Fiddler.

You play the fiddle.

And your last name is "Fiddler".

How convenient.

Why were you playing such a

sad song, Fred?

I can only play sad songs now

because I’m so sad.

You see, I’m in love with--

(Horse neighing)

Hark!

Who the heck is Hark?

(Horses galloping)

Hey, Fiddle, you forgot

your Fred.

(Horses galloping)

(Neighing)

Halt!

Who are you?

We are the King’s men.

We are searching for one of the

King’s fiddlers.

He’s missing.

Oh, what did he look like?

Well, he had a fiddle,

just like that one.

Oh, is this a fiddle?

Yes, that’s the missing

fiddler’s fiddle.

That means you are the

missing fiddler.

Me?

I’m not the missing fiddler.

Prove it.

Well, firstly,

I’m not missing.

And secondly, it’s not

my fiddle.

But it’s not my

fiddle either.

Seize them both!

Ah!

(Horse neighing)

Ah.

Ooh.

Whoa.

(Horse neighing)

♪

Ah.

Ah.

Oof!

Shh.

All I said was "Oof."

And it was an involuntary "Oof"

at that.

Shh!

The King is in a terrible mood.

Do you want to get thrown into

the dungeon?

I don’t know.

Is it closer to the kitchen?

Shh!


Why is the King in such a

bad temper?

Well, you see, the King has

three daughtersClara, Cloris

and Cristin.

Cristin has fallen in love.

She has her heart set on

marrying a perfectly nice

fiddler named Fred.

Fred Fiddler?

Yes, but the King simply

won’t allow the marriage because

Fred is a commoner.

Fred Fiddler ran away because he

couldn’t bear to be so close to

Cristin and yet be unable to

marry her.

And now, Cristin is filled

with unhappiness.

And when his daughter is

unhappy, the King is unhappy.

And when the King is unhappy--

Enough!

Off with you to the dungeon!

Surely, you jest.

I want my pipe!

I want my bowl!

Why, that’s Old King Cole.

Old Cold who?

You remember, Podgy, from the

nursery rhyme.

"Old King Cole was a merry

old soul.

A merry old soul was he."

Only he’s not very merry

these days.

"He called for his pipe.

He called for his bowl.

He called for his--"

Fiddlers three!

I want my fiddlers three!

I called for three fiddlers,

didn’t I?

But... But I’m not a fiddler.

I’m not a musician at all.

That’s a fiddle you're

holding, isn’t it?

Well, yes, but--

Then fiddle!

Welcome to the band.

I’m Frank Fiddler.

This is my brother Ferdie.

Our other brother Fred

is missing.

I’m Rupert.

Where have you played before,

Rupert?

Nowhere.

Yeah, we played there too.

I mean nowhere, really.

Play!

♪

(Screeching)

Enough!

You play too sadly.

And you play too badly.

Off with you all to the dungeon!

To the dungeon, I presume?

Rupert, we’ve got to find a way

to get out of here.

We could be stuck here for days,

for months, for years.

Oh, no.

I don’t think the King would do

that to us, would he?

Why don’t you ask him?

Excuse me, sir.

Could you tell me how long

you’ve been here?

Quite a while, I suppose.

One day melts into another.

And then the weeks seem

like months.

And the months seem like years.

Who can say how long we’ve been

in here?

It’s only been a couple of

hours, Podgy.

I can’t take it anymore!

Please, please, I’ve got to get

out of here now!

You mean all I had to do

was ask?

Free at last!

Ooh!

You there, halt!

This way!

Not that way!

Stop!

Ah!


Podgy!

Yikes!

♪

(Fabric tearing)

Onto the drawbridge!

Get them!

Jump!

Podgy?

Podgy!

Hey, Rupert, grab onto one of

these logs.

I don’t think that's a log,

Podgy.

Huh?

Whoa!

Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah!

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa,

whoa, whoa!

Whoa!

Oof!

That’s the longest I've ever

lasted on a bucking crocodile.

♪

It’s you.

Well, of course it is,

Rupert.

Who else could it be?

Who is it?

It’s Cristin,

the King’s daughter.

Why did you help us escape?

Because I need your help.

You see, I want to find Fred.

I’ve been so unhappy since

he left.

I’m sure he's hiding in

the village.

But it’s much too dangerous for

me to travel alone.

We’ll help you, Cristin.

Come on, Podgy.

I’m too tired for any more

running, Rupert.

We need a bus, or a plane.

(Whistling)

(Neighing)

But I suppose a couple of

pure white horses and a wagon

will do.

We must hurry.

My father’s men won't be

far behind.

(Neighing)

Hello there.

(Laughing)

You’re Humpty Dumpty.

Humpty Dumpty’s my name.

Falling off the wall’s my game.

(Laughing)

Do you know where we can find

Fred Fiddler?

Oh, you mean Fred Fiddler

the fiddler?

That is the Fred Fiddler who

plays the fiddle?

That’s the one.

Don’t know him, sorry.

But if you’re looking for anyone

in Storyland, Mother Goose is

the one to ask.

Where can we find

Mother Goose?

That’s easy.

Just go right into town and

ask somebody.

(Laughing)

I think this guy has had one

too many falls.

Is there anything else I can

help you with?

As a matter of fact,

we’re being chased by the

King’s men.

Do you think you could slow them

down a little when they come by?

Now you’re talking.

I’ll just sit right up here on

the wall, and when they come by,

I’ll have a great fall.

And all the King’s horses and

all the King’s men will spend

hours trying to put me back

together again.

It never fails.

(Laughing)

Bye.

Thank you.

MANGive it to me!

Give me that back!

No, it’s my fat, mine!


My goodness, it’s Jack Sprat

and his wife.

Who?

"Jack Sprat could eat no fat.

His wife could eat no lean.

And so, betwixt them both,

they licked the platter clean."

Sounds like a good

relationship to me.

It used to be.

But all of a sudden,

Jack’s taken a liking to fat.

Give me that fat!

It’s mine, mine, I tell you!

Yeow!

Yeow!

It’s Jack Be Nimble.

Jack!

Yeow!

What’s wrong?

I don’t know.

I’m still nimble.

But I’m not nearly as quick as I

used to be.

Jack, we need to find

Mother Goose.

You might find her at

Old Mother Hubbard’s down at the

end of the street.

This is terrible.

Nothing in Storyland is the way

it’s supposed to be.

It seems that all the nursery

rhymes are malfunctioning.

Yeah, and they’re not working

too well either.

I just hope Humpty Dumpty is

able to slow down the

King’s men.

All the King’s horses and all

the King’s men should be along

just about--

(Horse neighing)

Now!

(Neighing)

You there, you’ve had a

great fall.

Are you all right?

Yes, I seem to be fine.

You don’t need to be put back

together again?

No.

All right then.

I don’t understand it.

I’m supposed to be in a

million pieces.

This is terrible.

Old Mother Hubbard’s house

should be just up here.

(Gasping)

(Bleating)

Get away from me!

Get lost, will you?

Hey, I know this one.

It’s Little Be Poop.

That’s Little Bo Peep.

Oh, sorry.

But I thought you lost those

sheep and didn’t know where to

find them.

That’s the way it's supposed

to go.

But now I can’t lose

these sheep.

They just keep following me.

Go on, shoo, get lost!

Stop following me!

Oh, why is everything so

mixed up?

(Neighing)

There they are!

We’ll have to run for it.

(Neighing)

Ah, Mrs. Goose--

Not "Mrs. Goose".

It’s Mother Goose.

Wow, you sure look a lot like

a big, fat librarian.

I beg your pardon?

Mother Goose, we’ve been

looking for you.

We must find Fred Fiddler.

Quick, come inside.

We’ll go out the back way.

Who’s that?

Old Mother Hubbard.

She’s going to the cupboard to

fetch her poor dog a bone.

"But when she went there,

the cupboard was bare."


That’s the way it's supposed

to go.

Just watch.

Everything in Storyland has

gone haywire.

The dog’s not complaining.

Quickly.

He’ll be at the crooked

man’s house.

That’s where all the fugitives

end up.

(Bleating)

Look at those poor

black sheep.

They haven’t any wool at all.

I just don’t know what's

happening in Storyland.

Perhaps it’s because of

the King.

What do you mean?

Well, Old King Cole has

stopped being a merry old soul.

So, if something’s gone wrong

with his rhyme, maybe all the

other rhymes in the kingdom have

been affected.

You could be right.

Then this is all my fault.

There they are.

(Blowing raspberry)

(Laughing)

(Sighing)

The crooked man’s house is

just down here.

Who’s this crooked

man character?

"There was a crooked man.

And he went a crooked mile.

He found a crooked sixpence

against a crooked stile.

He bought a crooked cat which

caught a crooked mouse.

And they all lived together in a

crooked house."

Well, it looks as if he’s

gone straight.

How are you feeling,

Mr. Crook?

Stiff, I feel stiff.

Fred!

Cristin!

Whoa!

Oof!

He fell straight out of

the window.

Never would have happened in

my old house.

How did you find me?

Rupert and Podgy helped me.

If it hadn’t been for them--

You two, I can’t thank

you enough.

But Fred, everything in

Storyland is in such a mess.

And it’s all because my father

isn’t merry anymore.

The wise old owl simply won’t

shut up.

And Peter Piper suddenly changed

his name to Bob Smith.

"Bob Smith picked a peck of

pickled pepper"?

It just doesn’t work!

I can only be happy when I’m

with you, Cristin, but--

Our happiness means that the

whole kingdom is miserable.

Maybe we should just give up.

But you can’t just give up.

You’ve got to talk to the king

and make him understand that no

one will be happy this way.

You’ve got to tell him--

That you’re terribly sorry

for what you’ve done and that

you will never again defy

his command.

I must say I’m pleased to

hear you say that you’re

terribly sorry for what you’ve

done and you’ll never again defy

my command.

(Chuckling)

In fact, I’m downright merry.

(Chucking)

I want my pipe.

I want my bowl.

I want my fiddlers three.

Play.

(Crying)


I’m so merry.

Excuse me, Your Highness.

Who dares to interrupt the

royal merriment?

I beg your pardon, sir.

But anyone can see that you

aren’t merry at all.

And until you’re a merry old

soul again, all of Storyland

will be turned upside-down.

Well, how do you expect me to

be merry when my daughter is

so unhappy?

It breaks my heart to see her

so... broken-hearted.

Then you’ve got to let her

marry Fred.

(Gasping)

But... But he’s a commoner.

But if he married Cristin,

he would become a prince,

wouldn’t he?

Hmm.

He’d be royalty then.

True.

But he’d still be a musician.

A royal musician.

You know, having a musician

in the family might be fun.

(Cheering)

Thank you, Daddy!

And thank you, Rupert.

(Cheering)

(Laughing)

Huh?

♪

(Sighing)

I certainly didn’t bargain on

having an entire band in

the family.

You know what they say,

Your Highness?

If you can’t beat them--

Join them!

(Laughing)

Dance?

I’d love to but I can't.

You see, I suffer from a very

rare and serious condition.

Dance!

Whoa!

♪