04x09 - Rupert and the Crystal Kingdom

[bunniefuu]

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Yahoo!

Whee!

♪

♪

Rupert, where are you going?

The campsite is this way, Bill.

All we have to do is follow the stream.

Ah, but streams meander. Shortcuts cut.

Bill's right, Rupert.

Following the stream is the long way.

But Algy, Bill's shortcuts have a way of turning into long cuts.

I know, that's why I'll lead the way.

What?

I have a flawless sense of direction.

I'm like a homing pigeon.

Yes, bird-brained. Just follow me.

Bet you end up lost.

Bet I don't. Bet you do.

Don't. Do.

Don't. Do!

There's no need to argue.

All right, Rupert. You decide.

Bill's way or mine?

I'd rather just follow the stream.

I bet we'll get there just as--

It's a bet!

Last one there has to do all the cooking.

I never thought of camping as a competitive sport.

At least I picked the scenic route.

What's that?

Whoa!

Oops.

(Rumbling)

(Screaming)

Amazing.

I wonder if there are more where this came from.

Bill and Algy don't know what they're missing.

♪

Gosh. A hidden valley!

A crystal palace!

I feel like I've stepped into a fairytale.

Hello? Anyone home?

Yoo-hoo! Who goes there?

My name is Rupert.

No. I mean, are you friend or foe?

Friend, of course.

Oh, goody! Wait right there.

Why, any friend of Lazuli is no friend of ours.

Let's show him how the Gemlins welcome our enemies.

Get in, Rupert. Get in.

Charge!

(Screaming)

Whoa!

Yow!

A message for your friend in the palace.

Hmm. Funny sort of postal service.

Welcome to Tourmaline Valley. I am Prince Lazuli.

It's an honour, Your Majesty.

No, no, Rupert, none of that.

I run a casual kingdom. We're all friends here.

Apparently not all.

"The mountains are hollow. Is there no end to your greed?"

(Sighing)

Even the most benevolent rulers must deal with

the pleas of a few disgruntled taxpayers.

But you certainly showed those bothersome toads what's what.

You must have tons of every precious gem imaginable.

Oh, yes. Tourmaline Valley is simply jam-packed with...

♪ Amethyst garnet aquamarine ♪

♪ Sapphires diamonds green aventurine ♪

♪ Emeralds rubies amber jade ♪

♪ Opals onyx every jewel ever made ♪

Be it ever so humble, there's no palace like home.

Wow!

I've been working on it for a while now.

Soon it'll be fit to live in.

This is incredible, Prince Lazuli.

How good of you to notice.

(Rumbling)

Aah!

Minor earth tremor. Not to worry.

And now for a real treat. My crystachord.

I play like a genius, if I do say so myself.

(Playing "Chopsticks")

Oh!

(Bum note sounding)

(Gasping)

What are you doing?

I noticed you were missing a note, and I thought--

You said you were my friend.

(Gong sounding)

And all the while, you were bent on my destruction!

I'm not bent on anything.

Aah!

Put me down.

Sorry. You rang, Your Highness?

Jasper, you dimwitted oaf of an ogre.

I thought I ordered you to destroy this accursed crystal.

But, sire, it's "hardalite."


No matter how much I tried, I couldn't smash it.

So, I took it to the end of the valley

and threw it in the river.

And that's where I found it, on the other side of the mountains.

You did?

The other side of the mountains.

Put him down, Jasper.

What do you mean manhandling my friends like that?

I really must apologize for his rude behaviour, Rupert.

He's such an empty-headed fool,

he'd forget to breathe if I didn't constantly remind him.

(Sighing)

You see?

Here. Finders, keepers.

You're the finder so you're the keeper. That's the rule.

Thank you, but don't you need it for your crystachord?

No, no, no, no, no, no. Don't be silly.

It's high C, a pointless note. I've got low C and middle C.

That's all any accomplished musician needs.

Well, you must be off.

Can't expect you to hang about here all day.

Things to do, places to be and so on, eh?

Farewell. Cheerio. Ta-ta.

Goodbye.

Make sure he takes that thing out of my valley

once and for all.

Is that clear, you muddle-headed nincompoop?

As crystal, Your Highness.

Prince Lazuli is quite a character.

He's very clever.

I can't wait to show this to Bill and Algy.

The crystal!

We thought it was gone forever.

Quickly, my friends.

Sorry, but you shouldn't do that.

Oh, I'm sorry.

It was nice meeting you, Rupert. Please don't come back.

Thanks for the, uh, friendly advice.

Goodbye, Jasper.

Hey!

Get him!

Where is the crystal? Give it to us.

Leave him alone.

No, Rupert. You have to go.

Whoa!

Uh-oh.

Yeow!

(Screaming)

Run! Get out of the valley.

Malachite, Quartz, don't let him escape. He's got the crystal.

(Screaming)

Better go back. Hurry, Rupert.

Oof!

This is one time I wish I had taken Bill's shortcut.

Ugh, Jasper. Let me go.

I'm sorry.

(Knocking)

You will regret this, Lazuli.

Well, well, well, well.

Look what the cat dragged in.

(Gasping)

Or should I say, look what the oversized, under-brained,

can't-follow-the-simplest-order lump of a lummox dragged back!

Sorry.

It wasn't Jasper's fault.

That's right. My men blocked your little friend's escape.

(Rumbling)

Can't you see what you're doing, Lazuli?

You must stop work on this preposterous palace.

Oh, you're just jealous.

A bit of hard work will do you some good.

Take her to the mines!

(Sighing)

Your greed will be the end of you, Lazuli. Mark my words.

Aren't you being a bit harsh?

Mind your own business! I'm the Prince around here, you, you...

You probably miss your mommy, don't you?

Well, away you go. Back to wherever you came from.

Far away, don't fret.

I'll show you how to get out of the valley the long way.

No need to thank me. I insist.

Don't you think it would be better if I spent the night?

The Gemlins are still lurking out there.

I wouldn't want them to get the crystal.

I insist...

that you stay the night.

Hey, why don't you take your little souvenir

and put it in a safe place for the night?

I'm sure it's fine here with me.

But it's, it's...

Is there something about this crystal I should know?

Oh, no. No, no, no, no, no.

Just that it will always be a reminder

of our pleasant little visit. Good night, Rupert.

Did you put the Princess to work, Jasper?

Yes, sire.

Princess?

Our guest is getting a little too suspicious,

and suspicious people always make me suspicious.

Hmm. Knee deep in another mystery.


And somehow, this crystal holds the answer.

Shh.

Shh.

Get the crys-- Get the crys--

Lazuli! Lazuli!

Gemlins!

Charge!

(Grunting)

I had a feeling I'd be having visitors tonight.

I think I'd better put this somewhere for safekeeping.

(Grunting)

This is all your fault, Jasper.

You can't carry out the simplest of instructions!

Sorry.

Put these two in the mines with the rest.

And then find that sneaky little bear.

♪

Sorry.

Aw, we failed, Princess.

I know you did your best, my friends.

(Rumbling)

You see, Jasper? These mountains are so riddled with tunnels,

they're ready to collapse.

Our whole valley is doomed because of Lazuli's greed.

He needs more gems.

He won't listen to reason.

But if you refused to do his bidding, he couldn't--

I'm sorry, Princess.

Without Prince Lazuli, I'd forget to breathe.

That's what Lazuli thinks, Jasper. Don't believe him.

He's the one that needs you.

Oh.

Can someone please tell me what's going on?

You! Give us the crystal.

I hid it so it wouldn't fall into the wrong hands.

The problem is, I don't know who the wrong hands are.

True. We haven't given you many reasons to trust us, have we?

I'd like to hear your side of the story, Princess.

Amazing! But that would mean Lazuli is your cousin?

And he stole the throne from you?

With Jasper's help, it was all too easy.

And why does everyone want that crystal I found?

It's a perfect high C, pitched to shatter crystal.

The way an opera singer can shatter a glass

by singing a perfect note?

Exactly. If it were ever struck on the crystachord,

it'd bring his precious crystal palace down

around his greedy ears.

(Rumbling)

It's the only way to stop him before it's too late.

(Water running)

Hey, Princess Tiara. You were right. I hear running water.

Our escape route.

Will you help us, Rupert? Of course.

Scour the tunnels, get everyone to safety.

We're going ahead.

Oh, no!

(Coughing)

Whoa!

Whoa! That was quite a ride.

There it is, hidden in the chandelier.

Ready for the concert, Princess?

JASPERSorry.

"Sorry" isn't good enough, you big ape.

You couldn't find him if he was--

There!

Play, Tiara. Play!

(Random notes sounding)

Stop them!

Which one is high C, Rupert?

I don't know. I'm not very musical.

(Both screaming)

(Screaming)

(Panting)

Don't you dare!

(Screaming)

Oof.

(Gasping)

(High C resonating)

Thank you, Prince Lazuli. We were looking for that key.

(Rumbling)

RUPERTNo time to lose. Run!

Look out!

What do I do?

What do I care? It's every Prince for himself.

RUPERTJasper!

Princess, forgive me. You deserve to rule the valley.

I'd be honoured to do your bidding.

Then I bid you to run as fast as your legs will carry you.

Yoo-hoo!

We're trapped!

Slide. Slide for your life!

(Cheering)

My palace. My kingdom. My extravagant lifestyle!

Arrest them, Jasper, you thick-headed, half--

Aah!

What do you think we should do with him, Princess?

What do you think, Jasper?

Well, I think filling in the mine shafts

will keep him out of trouble.


A bit of hard work will do him some good.

But Jasper, I don't look good in overalls.

Thank you, Rupert.

You're welcome, Princess.

The Gemlins of Tourmaline Valley are forever in your debt.

Me too.

Oof!

Oops. Sorry.

(Chuckling)

Hello.

Are we glad to see you!

Rupert. You made it.

Were you worried?

I'll say.

We were worried you'd gone home

when you realized you'd lost the bet.

Last one here does the cooking, remember?

But don't you want to hear what happened?

I was hiking along the stream when I saw...

Later, Rupert, after pancakes.

We're starving.

And be sure you make them from scratch.

We don't want you taking any shortcuts.

(Laughing)

♪