04x01 - Bugs Bunny in Ring Master Disaster/Put the Cat Out: Eyeball/The Pain Event

[bunniefuu]

[theme music playing]

[circus music playing]

Easy does it.

Now, that was time well spent.

[groaning]

[circus music playing]

[indistinct shouting]

[groaning]

Where am I?

[lion roaring]

Hya! Hya!

I'm Circus Sam, the world's greatest lion tamer,

and I command you to stand, filthy feline.

Hya!

[roaring]

[crowd cheering]

Thank you. Thank you.

Excuse me, Mac, but uh...

Not sure if you noticed that your tent pole tore right through my rabbit hole.

Now, obviously, it's too late to move your circus.

But maybe you can at least offer me some free seats to the show or something?

Why, sure.

I've got the perfect seat, just for you.

Wow! Front row, for little old me?

Best seat in the entire house.

Oh, boy, oh, boy. A front row seat.

And stay out, you interrupting idiot!

[groans] I'd be lying if I said this was over.

Now, ladies and gentlemen, prepare yourselves

for one of the most dangerous, ill-advised feats of all.

I will place my head into the mouth of the beast.

Hya!

Now don't close your eyes, folks,

because very few people on Earth will ever attempt what I am about to do

right here at this very...

Oh, hey, Mac, don't mind me.

[crowd cheering]

Ooh, rabbit!

You're ruining the trick.

Doesn't sound like it's ruined to me.

The audience loved it.

[audience cheering]

Thank you! Thank you! [chuckles]

Ooh! Well, I can do that trick even more dangerous.

Why I'll... I'll do it...

You'll do it blindfolded?

I'll do it blindfolded.

Ooh, that would be impressive.

Here, I'll even get that blindfold for you.

Well, that's awful gentlemanlike of that rabbit.

[Bugs] All right, Mac, close your eyes.

[chuckles] Oh, all right, I'm ready.

Oh! [sniffing]

That's funny, kind of smells like--

[screaming]

This is the greatest show on Earth.

For my next trick, the lion will jump through this here hoop.

Ready? Jump!

-[cheering and applause] -Thank you.

And now I will--

Here boy, jump through this higher hoop.

Good boy.

Ooh!

Oh, yeah? Here, boy. Jump through these.

Here, jump through these.

Jump through this.

Jump through this.

Jump through this.

Through this.

Through this.

Through this.

[crowd cheering]

Ah, thank you. Ah, thank you. You're too kind.

All right, all right.

Now watch this brutal beast perform this deft act of nimbleness.

Hya! Hya!

[crowd cheering]

Eh, that's all right, Mac.

But you know what would make it better?

Some juggling.

You're not upstaging me this time, rabbit.

You sure about that, Mac?

It's not easy to be juggling bowling pins on top of a lion.

You can with flaming bowling pins.

Oh, yeah?

How about swords?

Flaming swords.

Dynamite?

Flaming dyna--

...mite.

Here boy, here boy.

Who's a good lion?

You know, I think I may have a natural talent for this lion taming business.

All right, all right, rabbit, you are clearly the better lion tamer.

The show is officially yours now.

Wow.

How civil of you, Mac.

-Thank you. -Best of luck to you, rabbit. [laughs]

If that rabbit thinks he's such a good lion tamer,

let's see how he does with a disobedient lion.

What a stand-up guy, that Circus Sam.

Get your mangy hide in there.

[growling]

I'll deal with you later.

For my next trick, the lion will perform a gymnastic routine.

Take it away, lion.

Mmm-mmm.

Uh, sorry, folks.

Actually, what I meant to say is, he will perform a musical number.

Ah, it seems like he's in a bit of a mood today.

-He will now-- -[blows raspberry]

-perform-- -[blows raspberry]

Uh, trapeze?

[laughs nervously]

[man] What happened to the other lion tamer?

[laughs, boos]

-[audience booing] -Uh, sorry, folks.

[audience continues booing]

I'm sure I can straighten this out.

Maybe I'm not the lion tamer I thought I was...

That's right!

You're nothing compared to lion tamer Sam! [laughs]

-[audience continue booing] -Well, I guess that only leaves one thing to do...

[laughing] Huh?

Put the cranky lion back in his cage!

Hopefully that'll change his attitude.

[lion growling]

[nervously] Now, we can leave the past behind us, can't we?

[lion growling]

[defeated] Oh, boy. [screaming]

Well... Looks like he might be

the "mane" attraction after all. [laughs]

[theme music playing]

[Porky yawns]

Well, time to put the cat out.

[straining] Come on, Sylvester, you know the drill.

Cat's out at 6:40... 6:40...

[struggling] Quarter to seven!

[crashing]

-[yawns] -[knocking at door]

Now who could that be?

[Porky] Hello? Ah, who's there?

[keys jingle]

Yeah! That's good! Right there!

You got it! You got it!

Daffy, do you really think I can do this?

Of course, you can, champ! You got this in the bag!

This is the moment we've been training for.

It'll be over in just two hits!

You hit him and he hits the mat!

You're a ten pound titan! A certifiable machine! An expl*si*n of fury!

-Now get in there and give it all ya got! -[bell dinging]

That's it, k*ller! Give him a left hook!

Watch that right cross!

You got him, Porky! You got him!

Now, finish him! Finish him!

[punching]

That's it, champ! You got 'im on the ropes! You just gotta hit him with that uppercut!

Uppercut! Yeah! Uppercut!

Perfect! Now give 'im a low blow...

[stuttering] Low blow...

Oh boy, you got him on the run now!

[stuttering] I do?

Of course. He's shakin'! Go in for the k*ll!

[punching sounds]

Don't worry, champ, I gotcha!

C'mon, Porkster! Are you gonna let 'im steal your thunder?

-[stuttering] Maybe? -No!

Go in and get it back!

Atta boy, Pork!

I gotcha! I gotcha!

Yeesh!

Okay, okay... I think we need to change strategies. Hmm...

This'll hit him like a ton of bricks.

Porky, speak to me!

How many fingers am I holding up?

[spiting and stammering] Tuesday?

Good enough!

[stuttering] Daffy, I don't think I can go on...

Hey! Enough of that kinda talk!

You wanna be the champ, you gotta act like the champ!

Remember what I taught ya?

First, you gotta confuse your opponent.

[whooping] Then it's jab, a hook!

Drum a few on the noggin'!

And when he's on the ropes... Clean his clock!

You got all that, champ?

[cuckoo calling]

Now go in there and slaughter him! You can do it!

[crashes]

That's it, I'm throwin' in the towel!

This fight is a disaster!

All of our hard work! Years of training!

Working out day and night in a smelly gym until our hands were bloody and swollen!

T'was all for naught!

You're not a fighter. You're a bum! [crying]

-[stuttering] Daffy? -Just go wee-wee-wee all the way home!

-[stuttering] No, I can still do it! -[sniffing] Yeah... right!

-[stuttering] Yeah, I can! -Really?

[stuttering] Yeah! I'm gonna punch their lights out!

That's the ticket! You're a champeen!

-Yeah! -You're a one-man wrecking crew!

[stuttering] Yeah!

Now get out there and mash 'im!

[bell dinging]

[thudding]

[stuttering] Daffy?

-Yes, Porky? -Are we friends?

Hmm. Of course we are...

Because I bet everything on the horse!

We're rich! [whooping]

[horse whinnies]

[Daffy] Tacos are on me tonight!

[theme music playing]