04x05 - Stained by Me/Pilgwim's Pwogwess

[bunniefuu]

[theme music playing]

[marching band music playing]

[whistling]

[woman] Oh, my, such a smartly dressed little gentleman.

[stuttering] Oh, thank you.

My... lady.

[man] Looking good, Hollywood.

Gee, thanks.

[stuttering] It's sure nice getting compliments on how I dress.

I always make an effort to look presentable... good.

[Porky Pig whistling]

Hey! [spluttering] That's a spiffy looking sports jacket you got there.

Oh, why, thank you.

What's it made of? [lisping] Silk?

Cashmere?

Polyester?

[stammers] Well, it's a locally sourced, organic cotton.

Some of the rarest linen you can find.

Cotton? Did you say cotton?

I'm allergic to...

[sneeze reflex] Ahh... Wait a second.

I'm not allergic to cotton.

Phew! That's a relief.

[sneezes]

I'm allergic to chocolate ice cream.

[screams] My jacket!

Do you have any idea how expensive, [stammering]

how much this jacket costs?

What?

Oh, my goodness.

I am so sorry, buddy.

You just gotta let me fix it. [jacket snaps]

No, I think you've done quite enough,

thank you very much.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

I insist, and I know just the trick.

Works like a charm.

A trick?

Club soda gets anything out of everything.

[Porky Pig choking]

[pants]

Hmm, club soda usually works.

Oh, well, fortunately, I have a backup plan.

Backup plan?

More club soda. [splashing]

[Porky Pig chokes]

[stutters] That crazy duck.

First he ruins my jacket,

and now I'm drenched. [sighs wearily]

If I never see him again, it'll be too...

-[Daffy Duck] Hey, chum! -[gas hissing]

Third time's the charm.

[soda crashes]

[Porky Pig grunts]

Stain's still there huh?

Well, not to worry, pal.

We'll clean out that pesky stain

the old fashioned way.

[bubbling]

[gasping]

[Daffy Duck sings] ♪ Oh, Piggy got a stain on his Nice new jacket ♪

♪ This here duck knows How to attack it ♪

♪ Scrub that Piggy Right up and down ♪

♪ Listen to that old Washboard sound ♪

♪ Scrubby-scrub-scrub Let's wash it good ♪

♪ Scrubby-scrub-scrub Get out that mud ♪

♪ Scrubby-scrub-scrub Goodbye stain ♪

♪ Piggy as clean as Spring time rain ♪

Oh, is the stain out?

No, but you are.

[smashing]

-You're outta your mind! -[water splashing]

[stutters] Crazy mallard.

Sheesh!

I don't know what's more stubborn,

him or the stain?

Nonetheless, I will not fail him.

I should've done this in the first place.

[doorbell chimes]

Oh, please give me another chance?

-No! -I'll provide the quarters?

No!

I got dryer sheets.

No!

Oh, come on!

No!

[pants]

Pretty please?

[shrieks]

-Listen you, you! -Woah, tell you what.

I'll make you a deal.

Let me try one last time.

And if I still can't get the stain out,

I will personally buy you a brand new jacket.

Uh, well, I guess if you'll... buy me a new jacket.

Okay,

but no club soda,

And no washboard.

Right this way.

Don't worry, chum. I'll spare no expense.

We'll, use the best machine they have.

I'll take extra special care this time.

First, I gently place the shirt in, like so, see?

Oh, well, that's very considerate.

Next, we'll add just the right amount of name brand detergent.

Only the best stuff here.

Oh, yeah...that's good stuff.

We mustn't forget fabric softener.

Oh, mm-hmm, yeah, softener.

You know, on second thought,

he does seem quite knowledgeable about laundry.

And a shovel full of dirt.

[stammers] Yeah, a shovel full of...

What?

Stop! You're making it worse.

There, and for acidity,

how 'bout some grape juice?

[metal clanks]

Grape juice?

Yeah, and coffee, too.

[Porky Pig shouts]

[Daffy Duck vocalizing]

Oh, condiments.

My compliments.

[condiments squirting]

There.

[objects clattering]

[machine saw whirring]

-And there -[Porky Pig shrieking]

Here goes nothing. [machine buzzing]

[Porky Pig gasps] My jacket...

What have you done?

You can thank me later.

You're not gonna buy me a new jacket.

You're gonna... be my new jacket.

[machine spinning aggressively]

[gas hissing]

[music intensifies]

[music stops]

Well, that was a bit anti--

[machine explodes]

[thuds]

Jacket's done.

Oh!

Look what you've done.

My jacket it completely...

...perfect. It looks like new.

In fact, it looks better than new.

Oh, thank you, Mr. Duck.

[stammering]

Thank you.

Don't mention it, pal.

See?

I told them I'd get that stain out.

Wait a second.

I can't believe it.

That crazy duck actually cleaned my jacket.

[sighs in relief] I guess he wasn't so bad after all.

[chuckles]

[honking]

[shrieking]

Wait, we're not done!

We still got some ironing to do.

[Daffy Duck laughs]

[opening theme music playing]

[orchestral music playing]

[gulps]

Listen up, pilgrim.

[shuddering]

[gulps]

It's your turn to provide the Thanksgiving turkey.

And if you don't deliver, it's...

Yes, Chief Pilgrim sir.

[ax swooshing]

[slapping]

Oh, this is bogus.

I'll never catch that darn turkey.

Guess I'll go home empty-handed

and face the repercussions.

[Bugs Bunny vocalizing]

[ax swooshing]

[singing]

Uh, maybe I will just bring home an unsuspecting rabbit.

[singing]

Oh! Almost forgot the sea salt.

[ax slicing]

[thuds]

[groans] You lousy ax.

Eh, what's with the ax, Doc?

If you don't mind my "ax-ing"?

I'm going to provide you for the Thanksgiving gathering.

As soon as I get my ax outta this tree.

I think you got me mistaken for a turkey, Doc.

Well, I can't catch a turkey, so I'm settling for rabbit.

At this rate, Doc, you couldn't catch a cold.

But, I'll tell you what, if you call off that rabbit hunt,

I can help you catch that turkey.

What do you know about catching turkeys?

I happen to have a certified degree in

Liberal Turkey Studies.

So, I think I know a thing or two about catching a turkey.

Oh, you'd do that for me?

Why, sure, it's Thanksgiving after all.

And I am in a giving mood.

Okay, Doc. Just like we talked about.

You divert the turkey and when its back is turned,

I'll bash him over the head like this.

[birds chirping]

Hey! What's the big idea?

It's just practice, Mac.

Now, give me your best turkey call.

Gobble, gobble.

Hey!

Uh, sorry, Doc, you were just too convincing.

I think we're gonna get him.

Well, let's survey the geography.

Uh, there's usually turkeys grazing over that clearing.

But there's also turkey holes over this one.

Also gotta watch out for that bluff over yonder.

Ah, sleeping on the job, eh, Mac?

You hare-brain... I'll bash you good!

Wait, Doc. Look!

Turkey! [thuds]

Did I get him?

Eh, that was close, but let's try a different plan.

So...

this time, you hide behind this tree.

He pokes his head out for the bird seed.

You come out with the ax and...

[screeches]

-Got it? -Oh, yes.

Good. Now, get back here before he sees you.

[turkey gobbling]

Ahh!

[brakes squealing]

[growling]

-[Elmer wailing in pain] -Ow, oh, mommy!

Help! [Elmer crying]

[crying hysterically]

Oh, no.

Did I...?

Oh, wouldn't you know it?

I got it bear seed on accident.

Yeah, they could have labeled it more clearly.

Oh, you screwy rabbit.

You're not helping me catch that turkey one bit.

I should just clobber you right now

and bring your carcass home for dinner.

Woah, cool your jets, Doc.

Save that aggression for the turkey.

Now, we couldn't get the turkey to come to us.

So, we gotta go to the turkey.

Go to the turkey?

That's right, Doc. You gotta be a go-getter.

So, go get him.

[turkey gobbling]

Come on, Doc.

He's in this hollow log.

Turkey, turkey.

Come out.

[cannonball explodes]

Forget the hole, pilgrim. Now he's hiding in the water.

[explodes]

He's in the cattails.

[explodes]

He's in this cannon.

[cannonball explodes]

Doc, he's on your head.

[explodes]

Quick, Doc. He just ran into this bush.

Oh, no, I'm not going near that bush.

Not this time.

Okay, Doc., I'll go in and startle him out.

You get that net ready.

[fuse crackling]

Uh, don't forget, he almost scalped me earlier.

[rocket whistling]

What do you know?

You outdid yourself, pilgrim.

Thanks, Chief.

Eh, would you be a pal and send me some of that Doc meat?

[theme music playing]