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04x10 - Practical Jerk/Bottoms Up

Episode transcripts for the TV show, "Looney Tunes Cartoons". Aired: May 27, 2020 – April 6, 2023.*
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American animated television series based on the characters from Looney Tunes and Merrie Melodies.

04x10 - Practical Jerk/Bottoms Up

Post by bunniefuu »

[theme music playing]

[Porky snoring]

Porky! Quick! Ya gotta wake up!

A 500-foot tsunami is heading right towards us.

[stuttering] A tsunami!

I've gotta protect myself.

Oh, no! Here it comes!

[screams]

April fools! [laughing]

Oh, oh brother! Oh, brother!

April fools?

Yeah. Take a look. It's April 1st.

The day of the fool! [whooping]

[laughs sarcastically] Really funny, Daffy!

Aw, don't be sore, pal.

Here, I made you breakfast in bed.

Wow! What did you make?

Why it's only the finest, gourmet...

knuckle sandwich.

April fools! [laughing]

Are you just about done with the pranks?

Yes, yes. That's the last one.

Oh, wait...

I forgot that I nailed your bed to the ceiling.

April fools!

Daffy, I'm gonna--

You can't, Porky. You don't have time. Look!

A quarter past nine? [gasps]

I'm gonna be late for work.

[screams] Daffy! Why are there leeches in the closet?

April fools! Also, April fools about the clock. [laughs]

I messed with the time.

Phew! So, I'm not late for work?

[Daffy] Actually, you're three hours late for work.

[screaming]

I gotta get outta here!

[panting]

[whispers] April fools!

[whooping]

Oh, by the way, you don't have work today. It's Saturday.

[Daffy] Have a nice weekend.

[high pitch groan]

Hey, Porky, I'm really sorry about all the pranks.

Why don't you relax and have a peanut?

No! I don't want one of your peanuts!

And I don't want any more of your stupid,

immature pranks! I'm gonna k*ll you!

[breathing heavily]

Gee, Porky, I had no idea that you were that upset.

Please, Porky, I'm so sorry.

I'll stop. From here on out I'm through with the pranks.

Can you forgive a foolish duck?

This isn't another prank, is it?

No, no. No pranks.

[tearing up] Porky, I was behaving very badly.

I became so swept up

in all of this April Fool's Day hullabaloo

that I took our friendship for granted.

[sobbing]

Porky, you're my best friend in the whole world

and I am truly, utterly and indubitably sorry.

[hand trembles]

Gee, thank you, Daffy.

I appreciate that. I forgive you.

Oh, thank you. Thank you.

Oh.

Okay, well, I guess I'll see you later.

Well, I'm glad that problem's solved.

[gasps]

April fools!

[laughs hysterically]

Bet you didn't see that one coming. [laughing]

[laughing begins to stifle down]

Uh... eh?

Eh, Porky?

Oh, boy!

[siren wails]

Mr. Duck?

Give it to me straight, doc. Is he gonna be okay?

Your friend? It looks like he'll be A-okay.

Phew!

Unless that is your friend.

[machine flatlines]

[gasps]

No, no!

Don't leave me, Porko!

This can't be all, folks.

[crying] It can't be.

[sobbing]

[sobbing]

[screams] Why is this happening?

[sobbing]

[old man's voice] Well, old bean,

it's been 87 years since that

fateful April Fool's Day

and I still can't believe that your really, truly gone.

April fools!

[screams]

[chuckles] I hope you liked a taste of your own medicine.

[frantic gasping for air]

[prolonged gasp]

[gasps] Daffy, no!

[old man's voice] April... [normal voice] fools!

[both laughing]

[both sighing]

Say, Daffy? What year is this?

[theme music playing]

[theme music playing]

I'm catching me a rabbit today, or my name's not Pete Puma.

[grunts]

I'm gonna leave the carrots on the outside of the hole

to lead the dumb tasty rabbit into this hot oven.

[sighs] You see... rabbits, they like carrots.

So he'll eat the carrots--

Get on with the cartoon already!

Yup.

Hmm, looks like an excellent vintage.

[sniffs] A bold carroty bouquet.

Eh, all adds up to...

Oh, boy, oh, boy, oh, boy!

I got him, I got him!

They all said my head was empty,

but then why is my oven so full of rabbit?

[smells] Mmm. [slurps]

[sniffing] Hmm, something sure smells good.

Eh, what's cookin', Doc?

I got a lil' rabbit in there, and I'm gonna eat him up.

[exclaims excitedly]

Whoa, rabbit! Sounds good.

You know, I'm a bit of an amateur chef myself.

Mind if I take a gander?

Ah-ah-ah. No peeking. Turn around.

♪ I'm gonna eat a rabbit ♪

♪ He's gonna taste real good ♪

[slurps]

It's all ready for you, slugger.

Looks a little scrawny.

Eh, must've cooked down.

You better eat him before he gets any smaller.

I'll set the table, you bring up the rear.

[giggles]

[slurps]

[gags]

[sneezes]

Bon appetail. Uh-uh, appetite.

Wait. What am I doing? Hey!

Is something wrong, sir?

Yeah, something's wrong.

[gags]

What're you trying to pull here, huh?

You expect me to eat that...

without ketchup?

Of course not, sir.

I forgot how sophisticated you are.

Gee, boy, I tell you, service today...

Enjoyeth.

[giggling]

Rump roast.

[grunts]

[Bugs] Put your back into it!

No, no, no, your entire back!

[giggling] What a maroon.

That's the problem with getting attached to your meal.

[laughs]

[mimics Pete Puma] Oh, look at me, I'm Pete Puma.

Hey, I'm not half bad.

He's right. Could've used ketchup.

[theme music playing]