02x16 - #AcceptNoSubstitute

[bunniefuu]

♪ Whoo! ♪
[theme song playing]

♪ When super me
Becomes super we ♪

♪ Suddenly, magically
Pretty automatically ♪

♪ Crushing it side by side ♪

♪ Look out, world
We're Super Hero Girls ♪

♪ Now that we're together
Gonna get that super life! ♪

♪ Wow! ♪

- [eerie music plays]
- [owl hooting]

It sure is dark out he...

[gasps and whimpers]

It's the Stop Sign Butcher!

[Kara] Oh, yeah, you jokers
are in for it now.

Really not a fan of movie night
when it's Kara's pick.

Hey, Stop Sign m*ssacre 5
is a classic.

Babs, How can you enjoy this?

I'm just happy to have a night
with just the girls.

I think retirement's
getting to my dad lately,

because he's been wanting
to hang out nonstop.

Well, have you tried telling him
you could use a little space?

Nah. He's a tad sensitive
about that kind of thing,

and I don't want
to hurt his feelings.

Hey, did you guys
start the movie?

[man on tv groans]

Uh, hi, Dad.

We didn't realize you wanted
to watch this with us.

Well, it's okay. I'll catch up.

- [man on tv gasps]
- Now who's that?

Wait, who's that? That guy.

Is he the bad guy?

Why does he have a stop sign?

Uh-oh, I don't like
where this is going.

Babs, don't look!

[woman screaming]

The villain known as Bane
has escaped.

Can we talk a sec
in the kitchen?

Dad, I love
spending time with you.

Really. I do.

I couldn't think of a better way to
spend my retirement, Pumpkin Pants.

Well, you shouldn't feel like you
have to spend it all with me.

You have to do some things
for yourself.

Like take up a hobby
or volunteer

or do whatever it is
old people do.

Hmm.

Not that you're old.

It's just old people do
really fun things, I'm told.

It's okay, Babs.

I get your point.

The hobby's a fine idea.

[Kara] Babs!
Babs, you're missing it.

He's got
a Spanish stop sign now!

- [metal clanks on tv]
- [Kara] Ha-ha.

You just got
[speaking Spanish], chump.

[both laughing]

[bell ringing]

Carter. What's happening?

Mr. Chapin. New tie?

Oh, looking angsty
as ever, Pamela.

Someone's in a good mood
this morning.

After our little heart
to heart last night,

I think my dad got the message,

and he's ready
to give me some space.

[gasps]

Dad?

Good morning, class.

Due to Dr. Stein's
Bunsen burner incident,

I'll be your substitute
for next week.

Now, I'm sure you all know me as the
tough as nails, Commissioner Gordon.

But here you can call me just plain old Mr.
Commissioner Gordon.

Oh, I'm also Babs' daddy.

[whimpers]

Let's take roll.

Dusty Toots? Dusty Toots?

Okay, he's absent.

How about Hairy Pits?

Ah, wrong roster.

Ah, well,
let's get science-ing.

Uh, Mr. Commissioner Gordon,
[chuckles awkwardly]

- What are you doing?
- I took your advice.

Not only did I find a hobby,
but I found one

where we can
spend more time together.

But you don't know
a thing about science.

Look, I get it.

You think because I'm the teacher,
I'm going to play favorites.

Well, in here, you're no more
special than anyone else.

Now take a seat, Pumpkin Pants.

Ugh, this couldn't be
any more embarrassing...

[screaming]

Cool experiment, dude.

No, no, that was on purpose.
Because this was actually

a surprise lesson
in, uh, proper tube safety.

It is also a crash course in the
dangers of chemical reactions.

And a test of fire prevention.

Oh, stop it!

Ugh. This stuff cannot be
biodegradable.

It'll be okay,
I'll just transfer.

I hear Midway High School
is cool, or Star City.

Miss Gordon,
I'm expecting great things

from your "Food Is Art"
assignment this week.

Woo-hoo! You'll love mine,
Mr. Dorrance.

Anytime a burrito can be
homework is a win-win.

[groans] If my dad had to be
a substitute,

why couldn't it be
a cool one like Mr. D?

Come on, Babs, having your
dad as our substitute

isn't the worst thing.

Hey, Pumpkin Pants!

What's up, Pumpkin Pants?

Pumpkin Pants in the hiz-ouse.

[voice over pa system]
Attention, Pumpkin Pants!

Please report to the cafeteria.

Your dad would like to have
a daddy-daughter lunch.

Hey, at least it's only a week.

[voice over pa system] Also, he wants
to make sure you brought lunch.

The cafeteria is serving goulash,
and goulash makes you gassy.

I won't make it a week.

Then be upfront with your dad.

I can't.

If I tell him I need space,
it'll break his heart.

I'll just have to
endure the week.

Anita Poo?

Listen up. Anita Poo.

[classmates laughing]

Embarrassing photo gone
in three, two...

[clicks]

[cooing]

Uh-oh, smells like my little
superhero made a super boom-boom.

[classmates laughing]

Little? Pee-a-little?

Anyone? Pee-a-little?

Ugh!

[fart noises]

Sounds like someone
had a goulash.

Is this stuff working?

Anti-Repellant?

Why would I ever think
I'd need this?

[yelps]

- I-really-stink-man?
- [classmates laughing]

I-really-stink-man?

[growls]

Oh, come on, Dad!

Can't you just tell these are
all stupid made-up names?

"I really stink, man."

That would be the most awful
tragic game ever.

[crying]

Babs, why would you make fun of
I-really-stink-man on her first day?

Oh.

Ugh, I can't take this anymore.

Everyone in this school
thinks I'm a total jerk.

I think you're
overreacting a little.

[toilet flushing]

Uh, hi, I-really...

Ugh, that's it!

I'm just gotta have to tell
my dad how it is.

Dad, I love you
more than anyone in the world,

and because I love you.
I have to tell you this.

When I said
you need to get a hobby,

I really meant you need
to give me a little space.

I'm sorry I wasn't more
up front about it, but...

Wait, what's going on?

Uh, Babs, I'm glad
you're sharing,

but Daddy's kind of
busy right now.

What is going on here?

Well, when I took your advice, I
didn't call the school about a job.

I called an old colleague to see if
he had any cases he needed help with.

[excitedly]
You mean Batman?

It just so happened
the bat needed an inside man

to help him snag the criminal
who had been stealing chemicals

from the high school
science lab.

Mr. Dorrance?

Why would an art teacher
want to steal chemicals?

Because he's no art teacher.

He posed as a teacher,
to gain access to the school,

namely the science lab

where he could take
whatever chemicals he needed

to complete his infamous
strength-enhancing venom.

[gasps]

That's right.

Diego Dorrance is just
one of dozens of aliases

- used by Gotham's deadliest supervillain.
- Bane!

Oh, no!

- [grunting]
- [crashes]

- [grunts]
- [crashes]

- Barbara, get out of here!
- But you said...

- [Bane growls]
- [Barbara] Hey!

[tense music plays]

Okay, big fella,

school's in session.

It is you who will learn
about pain!

[panting]

[loud crash]

[both grunting]

[grunting]

[all] Whoa!

I can't let Dad
face Bane alone.

You have done well, old man.

[groans]

You should have stayed retired.

Hey, Bane!
Name's Batgirl.

Spray cheese!

What the...

Spiders?

Batgirl, get out of here!

Even together
we're no match for Bane.

[beeps]

[gurgling]

[growls]

Maybe not, but we could
even the odds.

[softly] When I tell you...
squeeze.

He's right, you know.

You are no match for me.

After all, I've beaten far
more dangerous bats than you.

[gasps]

[groans]

[Batgirl] Hey!

I'm sorry. I'm having trouble
understanding anything you're saying.

Will you speak up so that the
whole class can hear you?

[yelps]

I like the other bat better.

He's much quieter.

Well, if you're a fan of quiet,
you're gonna hate this.

Gordon, now!

[screaming]

Mr. Dorrance.

[Gordon grunts]

Class dismissed.

Finding his weakness
was quick thinking.

Oh, don't thank me, Da...
uh, Commissioner.

Thank the teacher who
taught me a valuable lesson

in proper tube safety.

Huh, so that is a thing.

Wish my daughter...

- My daughter!
- Your daughter!

Uh, is the bad guy gone?

Yes. Sweetheart,
you were right.

I have been smothering you.

I guess after a lifetime
of fighting crime,

all that focus needed to go
somewhere when I retired.

And I've been unfairly
placing it on you.

So, from now on, I promise
to give you more space.

But you'll always be
my Pumpkin Pants.

I love you, Dad.

[Gordon] Aw.

[Chapin] What on Earth?

This is awful.

I know.

Hard to believe a villain
as evil as Bane

was hiding in your school.

No! I got to find
a new art teacher now.

Say, Mr. Commissioner Gordon...

Oh, no, you don't want him.

Have you seen this guy draw?

Anything past a stick figure,
and he's hopeless.

And don't get me started
on his color theory.