04x01 - Film Flam

[bunniefuu]

Sugar,

spice...

and everything nice.

These were the ingredients
chosen to create the perfect little girl.

But Professor Utonium
accidentally

added an extra ingredient to the
concoction-- Chemical X.

[expl*si*n]

Thus the Powerpuff Girls
were born!

Using their ultra-superpowers,

Blossom, Bubbles, and Buttercup
have dedicated their lives

to fighting crime
and the forces of evil!

Narrator:
The city of Townsville,

the picture of an average
American town.

Mom's hot apple pie...

Hi, Billy!

Hi, Mrs. O'Hara.

White picket fences...

Wow!

And baseball.

Oh, yes, typically
American in every way.

[alarm ringing]

Criminal:
Ha ha ha!

Thanks for the loot,
suckers.

[laughing]

Narrator:
Only one thing

sets Townsville apart
from the rest of America.

Or should I
say three things?

The Powerpuff Girls!

Oh, no!
You guys go left.

I'll take right.

[grunting]

Quick, fastball special.

That's right.
Keep it moving.

Jeez Louise,
Powerpuff Girls,

you done it again!

Narrator:
Yes, the Powerpuff Girls.

And it is this
extraordinary fact

that has caught the eye

of none other
than Bernie Bernstein,

big-time Hollywood director,
producer, agent.

[dialing phone]

Donnie, set up a lunch
with the Powerpuff Girls--

something quaint
and expensive.

Yes, sir.
You got it, sir.

Narrator: Looks like Mr. Bernstein's
got something big planned

for our three little
superheroes.

Blossom:
Well, who is he?

Professor:
I don't know.

He said his name is
Bernie Bernstein.

And what
did he say?

Well, not much.

He said he's
from Hollywood

and that he's real
excited to meet you guys.

Now, don't worry,
girls.

I'm here to
look out for you.

Ah, Professor Utonium!

You're expected.
Right this way.

Over here!

Over here!

Sit, sit!

Eat, eat!
It's good!

Waiter, waiter!

More food!

Yeah, now.

[sighs]

Wow! Let me
look at you!

Can I just say,
you look great!

Life is so weird, right?

Yesterday I was in L.A.,
and now I'm here.

And already everything's
going like this.

And I can just tell
it's gonna go like this!

Um, what are you
talking about, exactly?

I'm talking about
making movies--

A Powerpuff movie!

And here's the catch:

you three are gonna star
as yourselves!

Yeah!

All right! Woo!

Bernstein:
I saw the little article in the Times

about the bank heist,

and it just clicked
right here.

And the wheels
started turning.

'Cause think about it--
there's three of you,

so it wouldn't be
that two thing.

You know, everybody's
doing that two thing,

you know?

Huh?

Hello? Who?

Oh, hi.

Oh, nothing.
I'm just having lunch

with the next three biggest
stars in Hollywood.

Sure thing.
Call you back.

Buh-bye.

Where was I?

Oh, yes.

Now I must warn you,

you say yes
to doing this movie,

and you're gonna be rich,

and you're gonna be famous.

Yes!

Hey,
wait a second!

We need to think
about this a little first.

Oh, Professor!

No, no, girls.

It's your father's
decision,

and he alone knows
what's best for his girls.

But I tell you...

I certainly wouldn't
want to be thought of

as the type of parent who
jealously holds his children back

from fulfilling
their potential.

Just sign here.

And here...

And here...

And here...

And once more here.

Wow! Our own movie!

Yeah, and finally
we'll get

the recognition
we deserve.

And the Premiere!

Oh, maybe I'll get
a chance to meet Leo!

And our name in lights!

Starring Blossom.

I'd get top billing,
of course.

Says who?

Well, I am the leader.

Nu-uh! I'm just
as important as you.

[giggles]

Leo.

Come on, Buttercup.

I'm the only reason
Mr. Bernstein is here.

Ha! Oh, yeah?

Want to fight about it?

[girls arguing]

Mayor:
Well, golly gee, Mr. Bernstein,

you want permits to film
in the Townsville bank

and the use of
all its money

and full police jurisdiction
in a 4-mile radius?

So what's
the problem?

Well, it's kind
of a lot, isn't it?

Look, Mr. Mayor,
I understand how you feel.

I mean, when Mr. S. came to
me with that big w*r picture

and nobody
would touch it,

I had fears,
I had doubts.

But did I let that stop me
from doing what I believed?

Heck no!
And we knocked

the pants off 'em
with that one.

And now...
Now when I ask you,

you, a truly
beautiful man

with the class and charm of
a young Edward G. Robinson--

Oh! Ha ha!
Well, thank you.

Uh...

Who should probably be
starring in this picture.

And don't think
that's not possible.

That's very possible.

And now,
now when I ask you...

Down on one knee...

For a few lousy permits
for a tiny little movie!

Oh, I'll do it!

Ms. Bellum, draw up the
permits for Mr. Bernstein.

Bernstein on intercom: Can we get
some coffee, too, there, toots?

Yes, folks, right here in
our own backyard,

our own piece
of Hollywood.

If you look
behind me,

you'll see all
the cameras and crews

setting up for
the Powerpuff Girl movie.

So, how long have you two been
working here at this bank?

Um, about 7 years.

Oh, you're gonna
do just fine.

We're gonna need
to hire some actors

who look like
real tellers.

Ok, people,
cast and crew only.

Everybody out.

Hey, let me know
if you need anything.

Donnie!

We're gonna need
a security guard, too.

This guy stinks.

Now, if you look
behind me,

the Powerpuff Girls
are just arriving.

That's right!
Who's the baddest?

Look, I know
it's your bank

and you're responsible,

but we have to use the actual
money for reality's sake.

Uh, sir, the girls
just arrived.

Yeah, thank you.
Run along now.

I'll take full responsibility
for the cash myself.

Well, as you know,

I'm the toughest.

Yeah, but you're
the worst actor.

So, what do you
think of my girls?

His girls. Humph.

You know, I've been
telling them for years

that they have
natural talent.

Hey, but we just
met you yesterday.

All right, honey,

the grownups
are talking now,

so you're gonna
have to be quiet.

Ha ha ha!
Kids.

Where was I?

But we did just
meet him yesterday,

didn't we?

I thought I told you
to keep your mouth shut!

Mr. Bernstein,
we need to have a little talk.

Come on, Bubbles.

You're gonna mess it
up for everybody.

Yeah.

Ok.

Man on radio:
I'll tell you,

the word is that
this Bernie Bernstein

is hot, hot, hot.

He is moving up the
power list in Hollywood.

Anybody want
to talk about Bernie--

[shouting]

Listen, Buster,

I need to see
Mr. Bernstein,

and I mean now.
See?

Sure thing.

Just try his trailer
out back.

Fine!

Thank you.

Excuse me,
is Mr. Bernstein--

Woman: Oh, no!

Uh, pardon me.
Have you--

Woman: No!

Hi, have you seen--

Man:
Aah! No!

Excuse me,
I'm looking--

Man:
Sorry, buddy.

Bernstein:
This has got to be

the greatest scam
we've ever pulled.

The people of Townsville
have got to be

the most gullible bunch
of saps I've ever seen.

As if anyone would
really be interested

in making a movie
about the Powerpuff Girls!

I love how you told them
you needed to use

the real money
for reality's sake.

Ha ha ha!

Gosh, how I'd love
to see their faces

when they find out
that there is no movie,

and it was all
just a big scam

to steal the
bank's money.

Narrator:
Oh, no!

Bernie Bernstein
a fraud?

And I was promised a
part in that movie!

Well, Professor,
what are you gonna do?

Back to our 24-hour
live coverage

of the Powerpuff Girls
movie.

Joining us now,
with an exclusive interview

live, on-set
from his dressing room,

the Mayor of Townsville.

So, Mr. Mayor, will this be your
first experience with acting?

Oh, no. I studied
acting for years.

Oh, really?
Where?

Townsville
Elementary School.

Mr. Mayor, they're ready
for you on the set.

Gotta go.

Hey, am I glad
to see you.

Something terrible's
happening.

I need to get in touch with
the Powerpuff Girls.

You see--

Whoa, whoa, whoa, buddy.
Slow down.

First of all,
we're not cops.

We're actors.

We're working
on the movie.

And secondly,

you ain't gonna find
no cop around here

for about 4 miles.

All right, girls,
pay close attention.

This is how this
shot's gonna work.

You three will come in

through the breakaway
wall, right there.

Breakaway? Ha!

We don't need
a breakaway wall.

Right. So,
like I said,

you three will come through
the breakaway wall.

You'll zip over here,

do the little fight thing
with the stunt men here.

Yadda yadda yadda.

And then--oh, Donnie,
bring in the Mayor.

Hey! I don't even
have my script yet.

Know what?

Don't worry about it.

You guys all set?
Yup!

Ok, they gag and take
the Mayor hostage,

and you let 'em go.
Any questions?

Let them go?

Uh, we just can't
let them go.

Now, relax, hon,

you're gonna get them
in the next scene.

Trust me, babe,
it will be a long movie.

Um, hi.

How's it going?

[whistling]

So, they sh**ting the
Powerpuff Girls movie in there?

Uh, yeah.

You know, I invented
the Powerpuff Girls.

Really?

Yeah. You know,
in my lab at home.

What?

So you gonna
let me in?

Nah.

And action!

Bernstein:
Ok, girls, now!

Oh!

Hey, you bad guys,

prepare to get black eyes.

Um, Bernie,
can we try that again?

It just didn't feel organic.

[sighs]

Yeah, sure.
Why not?

Hmm.

Look, there's only one part
for a dog in this picture,

and I talk.

Stick 'em up!

Cheese it!
It is the cops!

Nobody move!
Nobody move!

Let's get out of here!

You jerks!

Those girls are strong.

Professor Utonium?

All right,
whenever you're ready.

Um...

Help. Save me?

Ha ha ha ha!

Great!
That was really good.

But we're actually only looking for a
woman at this time. Thank you.

Get ready...
To eat lead!

Now?

Bernstein:
Yes! Yes!

You picked
the wrong day

to mess with
this sister...

Mister!

[Bernstein clears throat]

Oh, yeah!

What?

I just don't think
you should say that line.

You're not supposed
to think.

You're supposed
to act.

Bernie,
I'm not comfortable

with Buttercup saying
the "Sister, Mister" line.

I'm the leader.
I should say it.

Well, I don't have
any lines,

and I'm the cutest
and the favorite!

I can't work
like this!

Ok, I guess we'll take
a 5-minute break.

In this next shot,
you're gonna play

the tellers
in the background.

The action's gonna take
place here in front of you,

and the camera will be
behind me, there.

So just try
and act natural,

and don't do anything
too distracting.

Ok? You're gonna
do just fine.

Nothing too
distracting, huh?

We'll see about that.

What's that, toots?

Oh, nothing, dear.

Places, everyone.

Powerpuffs.

Feeling better,
Buttercup?

Yes, Bernie.

Good, all right.
Action!

Come any closer,
and the Mayor gets it.

[whispering]
Blossom!

Oh, no!

It looks like they're gonna
get away with it, girls.

[whispering]
Blossom!

What are you doing here?

Professor:
Blossom, there's something

very wrong
going on here.

Blossom: Why are you
dressed like a woman?

Would somebody
mind telling me

what the heck
is going on here?

I'd be glad to!

You, sir, Mr. Bernstein,
are a fraud, a fake,

a con artist!

And I, for one,
am not the type of man

who will stand by
and let a crook--excuse me--

a crook like you steal from
the good people of Townsville.

By golly,
she's good.

And cute, too!

[growls]

And I, sir,
am not the type of man

who would let a creep like
you exploit his children!

Humph!

[clicks tongue]

Oh, Professor!

Why didn't you
just say something?

I mean, if you wanted to
be in the movie so bad,

all you had to
do was ask

instead of trying
to embarrass me

and frankly,
yourself,

with these wild
allegations.

Aw, Professor.

What?
Don't listen to him!

I'm telling you,
it's all a con.

Dr. Plutonium,
please!

If you are quite
finished,

we have a lot
of work to do.

Look!

See, no film
in the camera!

See, no film!
Ha ha!

There, I gotcha!

You can't make a movie
without film!

Fraud! Fake!
Con man!

[stuttering]

We're, uh, rehearsing.

You don't use film
for rehearsal.

So back off.

Look! See, it's blank!

No script!

How do you make a
movie with no script?

Script?
Who needs a script?

We're going for
a cinema verite,

reality kind of thing.

You know what I mean?

Girls, please.

You've got
to believe me.

I heard him myself.

I believe you,
Professor.

Hmm.

Bravo,
Professor.

Valid points, all.

But, if this weren't
a movie sh**t,

but a heist,
as you say--

May I borrow this, son?

If this were
actually a heist,

then wouldn't this g*n
instead have real b*ll*ts?

Hmm?

All right, nobody move!

Aah!

Ok, me and the Mayor

are gonna take
a little ride.

So don't do
anything stupid.

The Mayor!

Girls!

'Scuse me, I'll just
be taking this.

Hey, we're not supposed
to sh**t the chase scene

for another hour!

Which way did they go?

That way!

Hang tight, Mayor.

Eh, Bernie?

Look, Bernie!

What?

Easy, Bernie.

Don't do anything stupid.

Nobody move,

or the Mayor gets it.

Cut!

Come on,
not like that!

Give it some feeling,
like this!

[imitating Edward G. Robinson]
All right, see?

Nobody move or the Mayor
here gets it, see?

Look, Professor, baby!

I can explain!

It's not what
you think, man.

Can we talk
about it, please?

No, no!

All right!

And that's a wrap,
Mr. Bernstein.

Professor,
you did it!

Oh, Professor,
we're sorry...

For letting ourselves
get so sucked into

that dumb movie stuff.

I mean, what a dumb idea
to make a Powerpuff movie.

Well, yeah, that was
a dumb idea, but this...

this would make
a great movie--

The Powerpuff Girls movie

about the making of
the Powerpuff movie!

And I'll arrive at the end
with the finishing blow,

showing off my
awesome physique.

Of course, I'll probably
have to work out a little

and hit the tanning salon,

get my gray touched
up at the temples...

Narrator:
Oh, brother.

So once again,
I guess the day is saved

thanks to the smart guy
in the dress.

Ugh. He looks
just like my mom!

♪ Blossom,
commander and the leader ♪

♪ Bubbles,
she is the joy and the laughter ♪

♪ Buttercup,
she's the toughest fighter ♪

♪ Powerpuffs
save the day ♪

♪ Fighting
crime ♪

♪ Trying to
save the world ♪

♪ Here they come,
just in time ♪

♪ The Powerpuff Girls ♪

♪ Fighting crime ♪

♪ Trying to
save the world ♪

♪ Here they come,
just in time ♪

♪ The Powerpuff Girls ♪

Powerpuff!