05x01 - Monstra-city - Shut The Pup Up

[bunniefuu]

Sugar...

spice...

and everything nice.

These were
the ingredients chosen

to create
the perfect little girl,

but Professor Utonium
accidentally added

an extra ingredient
to the concoction...

Chemical X.

[boom]

[shattering glass]

Thus, the Powerpuff Girls
were born!

Using their ultra
superpowers,

Blossom, Bubbles,
and Buttercup

have dedicated their lives
to fighting crime

and the forces of evil!

NARRATOR:
The city of Townsville!

But you probably knew that.

[squawk]

Ahh! Monster!

Power... Puff...

Girls...

Help!

Come on, girls.

Let's give this chicken
a lickin' good.

There seems to be
a misun--

Oof!

Wait! Just hear me out!

Oww!

[squawking]

Poo!

Let's finish him off!

No! Wait!

For mercy's sake, please!

Stop!

Hold it!

[sobbing]

You need to--

Aah!

Look, guy, relax.

We're not gonna
hurt you.

[gasping and sobbing]

Now, why don't you calm down and tell
me what's going on?

I just got evicted from
my place on Monster Island,

and I was trying to move
into my new apartment

here in Townsville.

Apartment?

Look, fella,
I don't want to burst your bubble,

but no monsters
live in Townsville.

No?

Uh, no.

Well, you might
want to talk

to your Mayor about that.

[growling]

[squawking]

Come on, girls.

We'd better
look into this.

MAYOR:
Now, I don't want to take
anything away from you,

because you're a good
little architect and all,

but I'd really like to see

a different sort
of medieval theme

with a--maybe like
a big moat and some columns.

Back in the eighties,
stucco was really popular.

BLOSSOM:
Mayor?

Oh, girls!
It's so wonderful.

Ms. Bellum found
the deed to Monster Island in my trash,

and you can imagine my surprise,

so I called
Mr. Mangrove here.

Winthrop Mangrove,

of Winthrop real estate
and commercial development.

My card.

You see, my idea was
to lease one of the outlets

back to the Mayor
so that it appears

on the monthly budget

and not on the permanent account.
Ha!

Porcelain figurines!
Of myself.

I'm gonna sell 'em
to myself.

Hooray for me!

It's all perfectly legal.

I checked with my lawyers.
How does that go, Withers?

Ahem.

"In perpetuity
and throughout the universe."

Wow. That covers it.

Of course,
the monsters had to be relocated.

That's what we wanted
to talk to you about.

- See, uh--
- It'll be fine...

Especially since you three
will be keeping the peace.

The people
and monsters

will get along
just swell.

We hate monsters!

Get out of here!

[yelling]

[growling]

Everyone!
Everyone, please, settle down!

I can explain everything.

Please, be quiet!

Everyone, just listen!

Shut up!

Ok. People, these monsters
are no threat to you.

And, monsters,
these people do not hate you.

MAN:
Yes, we do!

We don't want
any monsters in our town!

Yeah. They're scary.

- Huge!
- And big!

They're all pointy...

And sharp.

Oh, yeah? Well, we don't want
to live in your town.

Yes, you people are
too quick to pass judgment.

Your ignorance
is offensive.

And you place too much value
on appearances.

Oh, and you get stuck
between our big, pointy toes.

[yelling]

BLOSSOM:
Everyone, quiet!

Please, just listen to me!

Shut up!

People, monsters,

we must be
steadfast and strong,

for we are about
to embark upon a new era.

Let us make Townsville

a beacon of brotherhood
and love,

calling to all the Earth,

"give me your tired,
your poor,

your huddled masses
yearning to breathe fire."

Let us make Townsville

a lesson in tolerance
and acceptance

and demonstrate
to everyone that people...

and monsters...

despite their differences,

can live peacefully
as friends,

as brothers, as one.

[cheering]

Shut up!

[buzzing]

Excuse me. Uh, Miss?

But there appears to be
a fly in my coffee.

So write a letter!

[roaring]

Now, what did I say
the other day?

Do you remember?

BOTH:
Let us be
a beacon of brotherhood?

And?

Uh...
Um...

Lo...Lo...

Lo...Lo...
Lo...Lo...

Lo...Lo...
Lo...Lo...

Lo...Lo...
Lo...Lo...

Love! Love!

Right, love.
Oh, yeah.

I was gonna
say that.

[keyboard clacking]

Uh, look, I don't want
to be rude or anything,

but I'm really trying
to concentrate here.

Could you just stop
looking at me?

I'm not looking at you.

You are looking
right at me.

Well, now
I'm looking at you.

BOTH:
Taxi!

[tires screech]

You were here first.

No, no.
You were here first.

I believe that
you were here first.

I'm quite certain
you were.

I think that--

Oh, get in the car!

BUTTERCUP:
Hey!

Are you out of your mind?

No--I mean, yes.

Sorry, Buttercup.
I mean, thank you.

What?

Do you have the time?

[blecch]

About 10 after 6.

Thank you.

Goodness gracious!

Sir, you are being
slowly digested.

We need to get you
to a hospital.

You should be
more careful.

Whatever.
I don't really care anymore.

Cut it out!

I'm not doing it!

Knock it off!

Oh, this is
really unfair. I--

[crying]

Blanche, darling,
oh, thank goodness.

Stan, from work,
poked me in my eye!

These people are crazy!

Oh, Harry, we still
have each other,

our family, our home.

Why, yes, we do.

[knock on door]

No more monsters!
Get out!

[yelling]

[panting]

Daddy!

Billy!

They're gonna get
Harry's kid!

[growling]

[yelling]

How many times

do I have to
tell you people

to shut up?!

What is wrong
with all of you?!

What happened
to peace and love?!

Love, schmove!
Monsters, get out!

Why, I oughta--

I guess
people and monsters

just can't get along.

No way!

Uh-uh.

Can't find
any common ground.

Nope.

Nope.

Can't agree on anything.

That's right.

We can't agree
on anything,

so we shouldn't
live together.

I agree.
We can't live together

because we can't
agree on anything.

[all gasp]

Now, get out of here, you!

With pleasure!

Mr. Mangrove:
And I would
like to take a moment

to thank you all for coming to our
grand opening celebration.

And now, the honorable
Mayor of Townsville!

[clapping]
[quack]

Ahem. Thank you.

Ok! Ribbon-cutting time!

- Yah!
[all gasp]

Are you the Mayor
of Townsville?

Uh...Probably.

I am hereby serving you
with a summons and complaint

for adverse possession
to quiet title, damages,

and declaratory judgment.

Girls! Thank goodness!

This island belongs
to the monsters, Mayor,

and they are filing
a class action lawsuit.

Of course, all of this
can be avoided

if you simply sign
on the dotted line.

Transferring
all of your rights, title, and interest

to the aforementioned
property.

Don't sign that, Mayor.

You monsters
have no rights

as citizens of this town!

I will have you disbarred.

Aah!

Goodness gracious,

I don't know
whatever came over me!

No further objections,
I trust?

ALL:
No.

Well, ok,

as long
as it's temporary.

[laughter]

Now, remember,

if we ever see you
in Townsville...

We'll beat
your butts!

All, happily:
Ok.

Thank you, Powerpuff Girls.

NARRATOR:
And so, once again, the day is saved,

thanks to the all-binding,
all-powerful,

all-encompassing
legal system.

NARRATOR:
The city of Townsville,

where even the most
curious canine isn't safe

from the dog-eat-dog
world of crime.

MAN:
Hey, hurry up, Jorge,

before someone
catches us.

JORGE:
I can't.
It's just so darn heavy.

Well, maybe if there
weren't so many pieces...

just throw it
in the water

before it starts
to stink up the joint.

[splash]

[clanking]

Who's there?

BUBBLES:
It's my turn, Buttercup!

You had the last prize.

Come on, Bubbles!

There are tattoos
in this one.

BUBBLES:
I don't care.
They're mine.

BUTTERCUP:
You don't even like tattoos!

Gosh, why do you
have to be such a brat?

- Bossy!
- Baby!

Bully!

PROFESSOR:
That's enough, girls.

Now, you know I don't like it

when you shout mean and hurtful
things at each other.

Now, think a minute
before you say those things,

and you'll realize
you don't really mean them, ok?

BOTH:
Ok.

Good, now, I'm going
to put these tattoos

where they belong.

[doorbell rings]

Who could be here
this early?

Good morning. FBI.

Sorry to disturb you
so early,

but we have something that needs
immediate attention.

[all gasp]

Puppy!

FBI AGENT:
This dog
has witnessed a terrible crime,

and the culprits
may have seen him.

The only problem

is that he's not
talking about the incident.

You know dogs can't talk.

Actually, this dog can.

He's the talking dog.

Can you really talk?
Can you say "woof woof"?

Uh, yeah.

AGENT:
Like I said, he's
in some kind of shock

and not saying anything
about the crime,

so we felt it best
that he be placed

in a witness
protection program,

and, well, who better
to protect him than you?

And just to be safe,
don't take him anywhere.

And if you can, see if
you can get him to talk.

Good day.
[door closes]

So, how do we solve
a crime with no leads?

I guess we'll have to wait
and hope the dog will talk.

Poor puppy.
He's been through so much.

[giggling]

I'm feeling
a lot better now.

Well enough to talk
about the crime?

Actually, I was thinking
more along the lines

of well enough to eat.

Well, of course you are.
Come on!

What? Don't you like it?

Oh, yes.
The smooth variety.

It's very delicious.

Perfect if you don't
have any teeth.

Of course, I wouldn't
expect you to spend money

on a chunkier
and costlier dog food

for a poor mutt
you hardly know or love.

We can get you
the other stuff.

Hey, no point
in maintaining

a puppy-like energy
on my behalf.

Really, it's
no problem at all.

I mean,
who needs flavor?

Really.
We don't mind.

DOG:
Don't forget: Country Grill
or Fisherman's Stew with calcium

in extra chunky!

Oh, those were
some tender vittles.

Mm-mmm.

Does that mean
you might be able

to talk
about what you saw?

Well, um, uh...

well, let's see...
It was late, dark...

I--I was in the alley,

and suddenly
I heard a man talking,

and he was big and mean,
and I was scared, and...

Oh! It was horrible!

I can't go on!

Doggone it!

Night, girls.

Night, talking dog.

What's the matter?

Don't you like
your doggie bed?

We got you
the best one there is.

It's cozy--fleece
with cedar chips.

Don't get me wrong,
I like sleeping on wood.

The splinters
build character,

and it's great having
a bed all to yourself...

alone, closer to
the cold floor...Alone.

Nighty-night, girls.
Sleep tight.

Don't let my bed fleas bite.

Wow, Blossom,

it's amazing
how silky your hair is,

considering
it smells so funky.

No. No, don't!
Ugh. Don't do it.

Hey, girls...

Should we
wake him?

No. Wait.

Not the bag!

[snoring]

"Not the bag"?
That's it?

Great.
Now all we have to do tomorrow

is search through
a trillion bags in Townsville.

Just wait, Buttercup.
We have to be patient.

All in due time.

BUBBLES:
Boy, am I tired.

Bubbles, didn't you
sleep well?

Hardly.

Yeah, we were up
all night

waiting to hear how ugly
our clothes are.

Buttercup,
remember that I said

we had to be patient?

Yeah, and I think it's fun

having a puppy,
don't you?

DOG:
Hey, is it just me,

or does this food
taste like cow pie?

Oh, boy, pancakes!
Now, that's more like it!

Two shadows!

Oh, oh. Big bag.

Yeah, we know
that already.

Too many pieces.

What else?
What else?

Oh...Buttercup's hair...

Really ugly.

- Hmm.
[snoring]

He said what?

Come on, Buttercup.

I know he's beginning
to get annoying,

but each night,
he's divulging

a little more
information.

Perhaps tonight
we'll get the final clue.

Or maybe
we'll find out

that Blossom's head
looks like

a giant rotten
pumpkin--

Snore, snore.

Come on,
let's not fight.

The Mayor
and Ms. Bellum are here

to meet the talking dog.

Great.
I can't wait to hear

what he's
gonna say next.

That is one
amazing mustache.

Oh, well, thank you.

You can barely see
your hideous, rotten teeth.

Oh, thank you,
talking dog.

You take it easy with
those compliments, now,

or they might
go to my head.

Now, how's that cookie?

You know, Mrs. Mayor
made those from scratch.

Well, I've had better chips
from a litter box,

which puts them
right near the top.

You got to give
an old lady

credit for trying.

Well, this visit
has been absolutely delightful.

Shall we, Ms. Bellum?

Ok, now, tell me
the truth this time.

Is that your real
hair color?

Come back real soon, now.
Don't be a stranger.

ALL:
Ahem!

What? What did I say?

I'm tired.
Can't we just go to sleep?

We have to see
if he'll leak

any more information,
and there he goes.

[whimpering]

No, no, no.

There are two men.
A big bag.

No. No, don't do it.
Ugh. So many pieces.

The scent. The scent.

The scent of...
Bad breath.

So, your greatest
invention was an accident, huh?

You sure don't throw
like a girl,

which, from looking at you,
makes a lot of sense.

If you ask me,
your face ain't so special,

but your body...Roar!

How was I
supposed to know

she was
such a crybaby?

I'm glad you're not
as bad at tummy rubs

as you are
at running the city.

So, you do all this
fancy hocus-pocus stuff,

and you can support
three girls on this?

Did anyone ever tell you

that pinkeye
is actually a disease?

Chubbles. Ha ha!

I bet you get that
a lot, huh?

So, does being a superhero ever give
you a big head?

No pun intended,
of course.

Sugar, spice,
and everything nice?

Now, let's not forget
freaky-looking,

bug-eyed,
and short-tempered.

Hey, who ate the chili
and called it art?

What? What?
What did I say?

I don't know
if I can take another day of this.

Look what he's done
to Bubbles!

I'm not a chubby cry-baby.

I'm not
a chubby cry-baby.

I know
he's a little blunt,

but he doesn't
mean it.

All we need
is the location of the crime,

and we can get him
out of our hair.

[whimpering]

No. No. Two men.

The smell.
No, no, don't do it.

The bag.
Throwing it in...

The--the pier.

That's it!
Come on, girls.

Good morning.
I'm glad you're all here.

I'm happy to say
the crime is solved.

Bubbles?

Aah! The bag!

Buttercup?

Aah! The bad guys!

Blossom,
who are these men?

BLOSSOM:
These are the Staglioni brothers

of the Staglioni Brothers Bistro.

Mm-hmm.
The restaurant near the pier?

It's a legitimate business.

Shh!

What do they
have to do with the bag?

Simple.
They thought they could

send this bag of bones
to a watery grave,

but thanks
to the talking dog,

we sniffed them out.

BUBBLES:
See?

Girls, no!

Have some decency!

BOTH:
Uh-oh.

AGENT:
Beef bones?

BOTH:
Whew!

I still don't get it.

You see,
the Staglioni brothers

were trying to
secretly dispose

of all
the leftover rib bones

from the bistro,

isn't that right, boys?

Y-yeah, that's right.

They are beef bones...

from our, uh, legitimate
restaurant business.

Ha ha! Yes.

So the horrible crime
witnessed by the talking dog

was simply a case
of petty littering?

Petty? It's outrageous.

Throwing out perfectly
good chewing material!

Oh, the thought!

I guess to a dog,

it's just as bad
as rubbing someone out.

[laughter]

Come on, gentlemen.
Let's go.

You have some
small fines to pay.

Can you break
large bills?

AGENT:
As usual, girls,
thanks for a job well done.

BLOSSOM:
You can open your eyes now.

It's all over.

So, does this mean
I'm free to go?

BOTH:
Yes!

Wow. That's great.

I mean,
that's really fantastic.

I--I can't wait to leave,
'cause, you know,

I was just getting
attached to you guys,

you're like
the family I never had.

You're kind,
generous, caring.

I only have the utmost
respect and admiration for you.

You're all
such beautiful people.

I--I love you guys!

Pee-ew! Somebody definitely
stepped in my poop.

NARRATOR:
So, once again,

the day is saved, thanks
to the Powerpuff Girls.

DOG:
So once again, the day is saved?

That's it? That's
the best you can do?

Come on.
You're the narrator.

Where's
the funny little quips

we've come to love so much?

Oh, but I understand.
After five seasons and a movie,

you're probably just tired

and feel ok with just
phoning it in, right?

What? What? What did I say?

♪ Blossom,
commander and the leader ♪

♪ Bubbles,
she is the joy and the laughter ♪

♪ Buttercup,
she's the toughest fighter ♪

♪ Powerpuffs save the day ♪

♪ Fighting crime,
trying to save the world ♪

♪ Here they come just in time ♪

♪ The Powerpuff Girls ♪

♪ Fighting crime,
trying to save the world ♪

♪ Here they come just in time ♪

♪ The Powerpuff Girls ♪

Powerpuff!