06x11 - Tortoise Rigamortis

[bunniefuu]

[Chris]: Last time
on Total Drama Island...

Players tried to outlast each
other in what you could call

slow motion pole vaulting.

Emma was touched when Chase
made the ultimate sacrifice
for her,

'cause she didn't know
it was really for pizza!

Chase was voted off,
but he won Emma back.

It was revolting

and we are really
questioning her judgement.

Wanna find out who'll make
a horrifying decision today?

Me too!
So let's do it.

Right here, right now,
on Total...

Drama...

Island!

♪ Hey what's up
I'm here to slay ♪

♪ Don't know why the rest
even bother to stay ♪

♪ I know the game
And I brought the skill ♪

♪ Crushing players' dreams
Yeah, you know the drill ♪

♪ I wanna be
I wanna be ♪

♪ I wanna be famous ♪

- No way! You made me
a friendship bracelet?!

Stop it! I made you
a friendship bracelet!

- Stop it!
- No, you stop it!

- Stop it!
[giggling]

- Why don't you stop it?
[laughs]

Friends are a lot like zits.

I don't have any.
I don't want any.

And I don't want to see
other people having them.

Luckily,
they're easy to pop.

Wow, Priya, you must've put
so much work into this.

It's beautiful.

- Oh, uh... Thank you.

- And Millie, I...

guess you didn't have
as much time to work on yours

or you made it in the dark?

- Well I think it rocks.
Thank you, Millie.

I love it.

- Ugh. It's harder to break up
nerds.

They cling to their friends
because they have so few.

- So, hey. You and Chase.

- Yeah! Who saw that coming?

[chuckles]
- Not me.

It's almost like all that time
you spent ranting

was a big old waste of my time.

[laughs]
- Life sure is funny sometimes.

Right, Bowie? Bowie?

- So stoked for you, bye!

Ugh! Pro tip:

never tell a friend not
to get back with their ex.

It'll destroy your friendship.
And I need this alliance.

- Hey, Emma!
- No.

- No what?
- No, you can't join
my alliance.

You're a fifth wheel and we're
rolling you off the island.

- Harsh. I'm surprised
you still have an alliance
after what Bowie did.

- I don't even care
what you mean by that.

But what do you mean by that?

- What I mean by that is,
Bowie voted off Chase.

- No he didn't!
- Emma, think about it.

- Bowie wouldn't have voted
Chase off, right?

But he-- I...
Hold on.

You're just trying
to break up my alliance!

- What for? I already joined
the nerd girls,

so I'm safe either way.

- What? Really?!
- Totally.

So either you or Bowie
are going home.

[chuckles]
Sorry not sorry.

[Chris on P.A.]: Attention
remaining campers.

It's challenge time!

Congratulations on making it
to the final five!

And my condolences for what
I'm about to put you through.

Every year thousands of people
are hurt

trying to get selfies with
wild animals.

- People should not do this.

It's dangerous for them
and the animals.

- And it's our next challenge!

- What?
- Did you not just hear--

- The game is called
"Injure Your Selfie".

- You each get a phone.

On them you will find
a list of animals

and the points they are worth.

Player with the most points
wins immunity.

- Bear? Rhino? Velociraptor?!

- The more dangerous the animal,
the more points they're worth.

So in a way,
I'm helping you get points.

- Now these are selfies,

so you have to take them
yourself, of yourself

and no one else can be
in the shot.

- We know! Explaining selfies
to teenagers

makes you sound
a hundred years old!

- You only get one phone.

Break it, drop it
in the toilet, you're done.

- Just to be nice,
I'll give you all a hot tip.

There's an easy 10-point animal
just beyond that tree line.

You have one hour starting...

[horn blows]

- Go, go, go!
- Wooo!

I wonder what it is!

- We'll be the first
to find out!

- It's more points than a rhino
and a crocodile?

[growling]

- Shh.

- Hey, Ladies!

[whispering]: Stop!
Julia, quiet!

- Or what?

[gasps]

[dramatic music]

[gasps]
- Stay still.

- Wow, they are cat food.

They're also blocking our shot.

- Who are you texting?

- Chris sent us the animal info
in a group text.

I'm hitting reply all.

Hope you set your phones
to vibrate.

Send.

[phones chiming]

[growling]

[screaming]

- Phew!
- Way to climb, Millie.

- The fear of death
is a powerful motivator.

[screaming]
- Noice! Now let's get a pic.

- No, wait!

- What gives?!
- Uh... A lion saw us!

We gotta move!

Okay, so maybe I believe Julia
and maybe I don't.

But until I find out if Bowie
booted Chase,

I don't want him getting
any points!

- That text message was genius.
- Yep.

I just asked myself,
what would Chase do?

- Oh. Great.
- Yeah. It is.

He inspires me.

- Right, channeling
your inner Chase, I get it.

- Because Chase is the on again
off again love of my life

and seeing him get voted off
really hurt.

And if someone close to me
was a part of that...

I would want them to be honest!

- Look, I need this alliance.

And being honest about
how I totally voted Chase off

probably won't help.

Honestly, I think seeing Chase
go hurt all of us.

Mostly you. Which hurt me.
Because we're a team.

Go us!
[phone chiming]

How did you get a lion selfie?

- Weird, my phone must have gone
off by accident.

[Chris on P.A.]: Quick congrats
to Emma for being the first

up on the board with
10 points!

Oh and what's this?
Here comes Julia, Millie, Priya!

All players are tied at

Except Bowie.
He's dead last with zero.

- Can we put a pin in this?!
I gotta get on the board!

- Fine. But we should go
for the less dangerous animals.

They're less points, but...
we'll survive.

- I'm down with that.

Let's find some... raccoons!

- Where?
- The dumpsters behind
the kitchen.

They're the only species that
willingly eats Chef's cooking.

There it is.

Raccoons hit that dumpster
like a--

- Perfect.
- You're getting inside?

- Now I just wait for
the raccoons to get here
and uh...

Um, hello?
Someone else here?

[growling]
Oh...

[chuckles nervously]
I see...

[screaming]

- Shh! The raccoons will
never show up with you
screaming like that.

[Emma]: Get off me!

Ow, ow, ow!

Help!

- Hold still! I keep
getting you in the shot!

Oh, come on! So now you got

- That couldn't have gone
any better.

Or worse.

So can we talk about Chase?

- Absolutely! Later.

We can't risk falling behind.

Those ladies are definitely out
of that tree by now.

- I mean think about it,
they're an alliance.

That's a threat.

The three of us team up,
vote one of them off,

no more alliance.

- Hmmm...

Do I keep listening to Julia
or feed myself to the lions?

Wow, Julia.
That makes a lot of sense.

- Right?
- Oh, wait.

I just remembered something.

We don't like you.
No one does.

You're a first-rate back stabber
and a second-rate schemer.

That makes you the biggest
threat I see.

- Oh! My schemes are not
second-rate!

- Please, your little monologue
even put the lions to sleep.

- Now's our chance!

- Julia, wait!
- Yeah?

- If we run into Bowie
and Emma,

we are totally gonna tell them
what you're trying to pull.

Bye!

- Oh, you are vicious!

- Fine, I guess I'll just go
with my other plan.

Win immunity.

Because now I have to.

[growling]

- There, a goose.

Totally harmless and
it's worth...

That's more than a lion.

- That can't be right.
Emma...

That's not a goose.
That's a Canada goose!

- And?

- "Canada Geese" sound
like polite ducks.

They're not.

[chuckles]
- You can hang back if you want.

I'm getting a selfie.

- I'm not leaving you alone
with that thing.

[tense music]

- Ha! Too easy.

Hey, where'd it go?

- That's not good.
[leaves rustling]

[growling]

Emma. We're not hunting it
anymore.

It's hunting us.

- Whatever, it'll turn up.

In the meantime,
we need to talk.

- Now's not a good time.

- Well, for a talk like this
it's never a good time.

- For real, not now!

- For real, yes now!

- Emma, focus!

- Oh, I am focused.
You always hated Chase.

[awkward chuckling]
- What?

Why would you think that?
- While we were broken up,

I said some awful things
about Chase.

And you agreed with me!
How dare you!

- Uh, is that a question?

- Admit it! You were keeping us
apart because you hated him!

And then when we got
back together you voted him
off the island!

- I-- But you--

How can-- This isn't--

Keep it together, Bowie.
You need this friendship.

Don't blow it.

Fine, I dit it!
He's a dollar store peacock!

A fail-blog!
A bag of rancid hotdog water!

The only thing more pathetic
than him is you for liking him!

When you got back together
I lost all respect for you!

Happy?!

Nailed it.

- Bowie.
You and I are done.

[sighs]
- I understand.

We're still an alliance though,
right?

- No, Bowie! I need some space.

- Okay. I can see you're ma--

Ah!

- Well. At least
he respects my wishes.

[screaming]

[hissing]

[Millie]: What is it?

- I can't tell,
the water's too muddy.

But something's in there.

- Let me see,
there's a few fish on here.

Or maybe it's an otter.
Or maybe it's a--

- Crocodile!

Ah!

- Priya!

[growling]

That doesn't mean
we're friends, croc!

- Millie, you saved me!
- I sure did!

And you got a selfie!
Eight points!

- I have no points.
No alliance.

My only friend
is now my biggest enemy

and I just got my butt kicked
by a goose.

How am I gonna turn
this around?

[gasps]

Bull?! Rhino?!
Moose with a unibrow?!

I didn't know you all hung out.

These are all
high-value animals.

I could win this game
with one selfie!

Bowie's back, baby!
Bowie is back!

Okay.

[tense music]

No need for all that.

I'm just gonna get
a quick pic and leave you

to your grazing party.

Wait, no! Come back!
I need this!

What could have scared them off?

Clever girl.

[screaming]

- Millie, look!
What do you think it is?

- It might be a bunny.

Only worth one point,
but it's a point.

- You go around the other side
and I'll flush it out.

- Got it!

- Ah!

- It didn't come out.

- I caught it!
I actually caught it!

- Woo! Pri-ya! Pri-ya!
Pri... ya.

- Surviving a bear encounter
is easy.

They don't want any trouble.
Just calmly walk away.

[growling]

It's all good,
just walking away,

no eye contact,
everything's fine...

[screaming]

- Someone do something!
- On it!

- No way! Julia's spot on timing
gets her eight points!

- So? Are we gonna help them?!

- With what?

- Hey, bear! Uh...

Stop it!

[growls]

Wow, that worked?

[dramatic music]

Priya, speak to me!

- My phone, in my pocket...

How's my phone?

Oh, good.
It's still okay.

And look, there's enough phone
for everyone.

- Okay. Let's get you
back to camp.

[Chris on P.A.]: Oh!
Priya and Millie are out
of the challenge.

You could say they hit a string
of bad luck,

but I'd say they're lucky
to be alive.

- We got taken out,
but I don't feel bad.

Millie really brought it today.

She saved my life twice!

Didn't you, Millie?

[cawing]

- Eagle, three points!

[muffled screaming]

Piranha, six points!

Crocodile, seven points!

I need to win this.
I need to get immunity

and make sure Bowie
is kicked off this island.

Not for me. For Chase.

- Croc with a friendship
bracelet? Too cute.

Aw, poor fishy.

I don't know why people think
this is hard.

Ooh, a cave.

Animals live in caves.

Apparently, people used to live
in caves too.

If I'd been alive back then,
I'd be like, no thanks.

Going to a hotel.

Ew! It smells like
a sad frat house in here.

[gasps]
Uh, hi....

I hope you're not still mad
about that stuff I said about
you online.

[roars]

Anyway. You look amazing!

You need a picture!
Wait,

how about we get a pic
together?

Say, "Besties"!

[screaming]
Never mind!

Wow. Talk about holding
a grudge.

Get a life!

[panting]

[hissing]

- No! Please!
I've had enough!

Fine.
But before you pummel me...

Can I at least get a selfie?

I don't wanna go down without
a single point.

No!

- With all those teeth
you'd think it would chew.

[Chris on P.A.]: Bowie is out
of the challenge

with a grand total of
zero points!

- He's out? Aha! He's out!

I am totally winning this.

[Chris on P.A.]: Currently
in the lead is...

Julia with 35 points.

Emma is in second with 29.

Only 10 minutes left!

[groans]

You know, Emma could still win
this if she got a turtle selfie.

to know that one was currently

on the far side of the pond.

- You know the P.A. system's
still on, right?

[Chris on P.A.]: Oops.

- Well, Emma can't win
if I get a turtle selfie too.

[tense music]

[screaming]

[Chris on P.A.]: Oh, should've
mentioned!

That's not just any turtle.

It's a Chimuan fighting turtle.

- Ah!

[dramatic music]

- Ouch!

[groaning]

[straining]

- Nice!

Woah!

Ow!

Ow! Ow!

[screaming]

- Did Emma get her picture
and complete the comeback?

No! Julia has won immunity
with a staggering 47 points!

And that's time!

[horn blows]

What a finish!

I'm sure the turtle's okay.

[dramatic music]

- And then she said,

"If I can't get it's picture,
no one will."

And she launched it
into space or whatever.

- Uh, that's a half truth!
I didn't launch it on purpose!

- It was a poor,
defenseless turtle!

What did it ever do to you?!

- You were there!
That thing knew karate!

- Doubt it.
- Not plausible.

- You're still with me,
right?

- I think I need some space.

- Campers.
It's been a rough day.

But when I look
at your bruised faces,

I think it was all worth it.

- Millie. Priya worked real hard
on that friendship bracelet.

And you gave it away
to a crocodile.

- To save her life!

- That's all I had on you two.

- You don't vote someone off
for saving your life.

But I did work really hard
on that bracelet.

- Bowie. You voted off
your own partner's BF.

That's the biggest backstab that
ever stabbed a back.

- Do I regret doing it? No.

Would I do it again? Yes.

- Emma, you k*lled a turtle.

Probably the last of its kind.

- Ugh! It had it coming!

- Campers, a marshmallow
takes you to the final four.

No marshmallow means
you're droning on home.

[suspenseful music]

Priya.

Millie.

And the last marshmallow
goes to...

[ ♪]

Bowie.

- What?! You're booting me
over a turtle?!

- Nah. We booted her
because she did so well.

Total threat.

If she stunk like Bowie did,
she'd still be here.

[sighs]
- What's the point of having
a shell covering your body

if you can't survive
falling out of a tree?!

Ugh! But overall,
I'm proud of myself.

When I first got here, I was
just like a little mad at Chase.

But I think I hid it well.

Then he totally helped me
win immunity

with the pole challenge
and we kissed.

So, I may not be going back home
with a million dollars.

But I am going home
to a boyfriend.

[drone whirring]

- So Emma's bad decision
cost her a million bucks,

but she gets to go home
to her boyfriend Chase,

which is probably a worse
decision.

Oh well, plenty more bad
decisions to come

next time on Total...

Drama...

Island!

[theme music]