03x20 - Coat Rack Cowboy

[bunniefuu]

foreign

[Music]

[Applause]

I dropped one little branch and he turns

into a plot to [ __ ] him for life I

was just saying what could have happened

you making up one of your stories again

huh yeah it must be nice you know me and

Dad work our butts off while you just

sit around telling stories about what

could have happened I want to help with

Dad Dad said you're not old enough yet

just sit down and be quiet okay we've

got work to do like you really can't

help it he's got an overactive mind

nothing wrong with that though your

brother's just doing what I asked him to

do all right we had to cut down the

bigger branches and now it's time for

this tree to come down

do you really have to cut it down

it's like cutting down history or

something can you just see a tree I bet

this thing's been here since like the

time in the wild west or something that

it's in all sorts of things

gunfights Indian battles bank robberies

bank robberies yeah

kind of things happen around here back

then

I wish you could see it

[Music]

be careful you can't just do that you

can't cut down this tree dad something

bad is gonna happen the bad already has

happened okay the roots are interfering

with the main water line

sorry son it's got to come down to stand

back

[Music]

[Music]

foreign

[Music]

spot

nice that was wood from the tree so I

figured I'd make you a place to hang

some of these clothes you mean that came

from the tree yeah come on I know my

Carpenter skills are kind of basic but

it's the job done oh hey Brad don't

forget your mom and I are going to your

aunt Rita's for the night so Ethan your

brother's in charge okay

relax

[Music]

[Music]

[Music]

turn it back on

mom and dad leave for one night and I

need your lights on

it's freaky

oh I'm a scary coat rack

you want me to move you closer to the

bed

[Music]

[Applause]

[Music]

what the heck are you doing I can't

sleep with this thing in my room

whatever

I thought somebody had broken into the

house

[Music]

[Music]

I swear you're just standing right here

I'm getting really tired of this evening

you gotta believe me he was he was

dressed as a cowboy but

not a nice one mean looking

true

cactus

cow

saloon doors

what the heck

[Music]

that's strange

this is just weird yeah

[Music]

thank you

what the heck what is going on here

how could this happen

shut up

[Music]

I ain't in the mood for piano playing

[Music]

all the feeling a little tired

because I recollected don't feel too

good getting strangle they kid let him

go

send it down

[Music]

Mad Dog McCoy

gunsling at lodge

where I come from it's considered him

polite to refuse a man's outstretched

hand

[Music]

[Music]

sure like a ghost

it can't be

[Music]

are you

I reckon I am

to the Lily liver coward what Disturbed

my resting place or resting place

the tree

was it the tree

all as I know is I was sleeping

peacefully

sleep of the Dead

[Music]

till someone come along and wake me with

that infernal noise

and here I find myself

walking near at the game

and Drawn to this room

and I can't figure out why

you were hung from the tree weren't you

that's what's left of it

so this is all that's left

or the tree the Posse home is from

told you we shouldn't have shot it down

how was I supposed to know this stupid

story this is actually true it's never

true crazy stories forever

what I can't think with you two yapping

foreign

chased me all the way into the hills I

k*lled five of them with my bare hands

before they finally strung me up

see

not a pleasant way to die

I assure you

really k*lled five minutes once with

get your bare hands you're calling me a

liar

no sir

last man called me a lie wound up with

more lead in his belly and biscuits

men learn Rock quick not to mess with

Mad Dog McCoy

[Music]

that's it you're looking to make your

rip off old Mad Dog

the only rep he has is making up stupid

stories while everybody else does the

work that's not true I reckon you aiming

to fix that rep

you calling me out you figure you take

on old Mad Dog in a shootout people have

got no choice but respect you sh**t out

he's just a kid just a kid

oh sh**t I was already hijacking stage

coaches when I was half as high as you

of course when I was a kid nobody gave

me nothing

I'm guessing you too soft he's got

parents

where you want to do this

yeah I can't be calling you out I don't

even have a g*n

everything around you

I was gonna say John McCoy back down

from a shootout

man's gotta live by a cold

go on they grow up

sh**t with my left

give you a fair Shake

[Music]

you and me

High Noon

[Music]

[Music]

be waiting for you

[Music]

shootout with the ghost of a gunslinger

so cool

[Music]

standing there waiting don't worry about

him okay don't worry about him how am I

supposed to do with that I don't know

the first thing about being a gunslinger

what am I supposed to do first of all

you could quit whining can you ever hear

of a whining cowboy no uh singing Cowboy

yeah maybe but not a whining one okay uh

you should see your stance

stand up tall how's that going to help

he'll just have a bigger Target

you've seen cowboy movies okay it's not

just about sh**ting and horses

Cowboys have confidence all right

all right attitude and you gotta have

Swagger

uh be intimidating even before you sh**t

[Music]

um just let your arms just hang by

yourselves okay

casually

yes why are you helping me

you hate me

Ethan I don't hate you

I mean most of the time

besides you're my little brother no

gunslinging ghost is gonna fill you with

lead on my watch

all right

yeah I come on try it again

now drop

[Music]

it's stuck

I'm dead

[Music]

on the bright side I don't think Dad

will notice

[Music]

it's my last will and testament

what you doing

you want my video game console or my MP3

player

I guess you can have both uh hey look I

found this in Dad's closet and

I think I might fit you

thanks

here I have some sarsaparilla

uh

I wonder what it feels like when the

b*llet rips through your belly okay

don't think like that

he might sh**t you in the face

[Music]

High Noon

it's time

I uh I gotta pee Oh that's that's

gorilla you can't you got an appointment

[Music]

[Music]

[Music]

[Music]

yeah yeah

[Music]

[Music]

hmm

come on come on Rock I'm trying

stuck

been in a lot of gunfights this is truly

at first I'm not like that

shot

blaming

[Music]

cause you were an orphan

what's do you nothing but

you know that sheriff you shot

[Music]

I reckon I had a passing familiarity

with them yeah you knew he had kids

lots of men have kids lots of men have

wives

he didn't she died you have to do it two

boys

Hamish and Bartholomew

he made two orphans that day at least

they had each other

more than I got except shortly after you

shot his dad poor Hamish starved to

death

and the other oh he lived except with no

one protecting him he became an even

bigger Outlaw than you

he grew up and made some more from

himself

thanks to you

you shut your yet it's not like that's

the worst thing that happened because of

you

the sheriff dead no one protected town

the town was overrun with Cutthroats and

thieves the town died out in a couple

Generations all because one man called

you a liar you saying it's my dude I'm

just saying what happened

never gave much thought to the

repercussions of my actions

don't intend to start now

draw those tiny innocent children poor

poor little Hamish starving

dying

I'm a little scared we're following you

alone

living in the streets

[Music]

his only choice

the lack of crime

thanks to you no no more more orphans

all because one man called you a liar

I swear

[Music]

[Applause]

[Music]

Ethan how did you know that would work

that was awesome when did when did you

have time to look all that stuff up I

did

I uh I made it up I kind of on the

coolest Cowboy or whatever to do the

rest

Cowboys always have a coat code the wild

list

you mean that for once one of your

stupid stories actually saved the day

yeah

maybe a tall glass of Sarsaparilla

partner

who would have thought a cowboy would

have carried so much bills

stories will come up with that

[Music]

they call him the sacrament of the kid

say he laid out old Mad Dog McCoy with

Nary a shot

I'd like to see him try that with me

you'll get your chance

we all will

[Music]