02x02 - Rip Van Kitty/U.S. Acres: Grabbity/The Big Catnap

[bunniefuu]

[

[ Music

- You know, garfield,

Muscles earn respect.

The women just go crazy

Over a guy with big muscles.

And I just happen to be

In primo shape.

- Bet you didn't know

You can flex fat.

- Ladies and gentlemen,

Garfield and friends.

[ Music ]

- ™ª friends are there ♪

- 媻 to help you

Get started, to give you

A push on your way ♪

- ™ª friends are there ♪

- 媻 to turn you around

Get your feet on the ground

For a brand-new day ♪

- 媻 they pick you up

When you're down ♪

- 媻 help you

Swallow your pride

When something inside

Says to break on through

To the other side ♪

- 媻 friends are

Someone you can open up to ♪

- 媻 when you feel

Like you're ready to flip ♪

- 媻 when you've got

The world on your shoulders ♪

- 媻 friends are there

To give you a tip ♪

- 媻 friends are there

When you need them

They're even there

When you don't ♪

- 媻 for a walk

In the park

Or a shot in the dark,

Friends are there ♪

- ™ª I don't care ♪

- 媻 but friends will

Care for you ♪

- I suppose you're all

Wondering why I asked

You here today.

[ Bark and panting of dog ]

- That's so cute, odie.

And you're cute, too, nermal.

- Naturally.

- Jon's taking forever

To finish preparing lunch.

He should have let me bring

The microwave like I wanted.

- Hey, garfield.

- Yikes!

Nermal, how many times

Do I have to tell you?

When I'm asleep,

I don't want you

In the same time zone.

- Come on, let's play a game,

Garfield.

- Okay. How about go fish?

[ Gasp ]

- I've never played

Go fish before, garfield.

How do you play go fish?

- Garfield, I don't like

Go fish. Garfield, garfield.

- Garfield,

That's a cruel thing to do.

- Yeah.

Probably make the fish sick.

- If you keep doing

These things, nermal will

Stop visiting us.

- Promises, promises.

Oh, well, at least I can

Get back to my nap.

[ Slurpy lick ]

- Lifeguard, help!

I'm drowning!

[ Panting ]

- Come.

[ Barking ]

[ Incoming whistle ]

- Odie?

- Garfield!

So they disrupted your nap.

You sleep too much anyway.

- Not possible.

- Just keep sleeping, garfield.

Forget about life

Passing you by.

- Sleeping too much.

[ Yawn ]

- How can you sleep too much?

That'd be--that'd be like

Eating too much.

[ Gong ]

[ Dog barking ]

- Nermal: garfield!

Garfield! Wake up.

- Don't wake him up.

He seems to be having

A dream sequence.

[ Flying cars humming ]

- Garfield, time to wake up.

You've been asleep 20 years.

- Just five minutes more.

- Let's go home, come on.

- Oh, all right.

- A lot has changed

In 20 years.

- 20 Years, huh?

Boy when I nap,

I don't kid around.

- Get real comfy.

It's a long drive.

All set?

- I'm ready when you are.

- We're home. Sorry about that

Traffic jam that slowed us down.

- Where is everyone?

- Well, odie is out

Chasing cars.

- Odie's still chasing cars?

- Of course it's not quite

The same as it used to be.

[ Barking ]

Huh?

- That can't be odie.

[ Slurpy lick ]

- Okay, so it's odie.

- Come on, guys, lunch time.

- Lunch time, oh, boy.

Feels like 20 years

Since I ate last.

- How about some lasagna,

Garfield? - Lasagna,
yeah, yeah.

I haven't had lasagna

In 20 years.

What, may I ask, is this?

- That's a dehydrated ionized

Protein tablet,

Configured for lasagna flavor.

All food is now capsulized

For maximum nutritional value.

- Heh, heh, this is a bacon,

Lettuce, and tomato

On whole wheat toast.

[ Gulp ]

- Aah! Could have used

A little mayo, but good.

[ Gulp ]

- Aah. Not very filling.

Gee, I hope I didn't get

Any on myself.

Let's see what's on tv.

- Hey, kids, it's binky,

Binky, the, uh, clo--

- Attention, we have

A news bulletin.

Earth is being invaded
by the planet

Zizibadawadawadaboinkboink 3.

- Say that again?

- Zizibadawadawadaboinkboink 3.

- Say that again.

- Zizibadawada...

The zizibadawadawadaboinkboink

Threebians are short and lazy.

They sleep 23 hours a day,

And during their one hour awake,

They devour the entire

Food supply of a planet.

- Gosh, short, lazy, and they

Eat an entire planet's worth

Of food.

I wonder what they look like?

[ All talking at once ]

- I think we all saw

That one coming, didn't we?

- Oh, no. We've been invaded.

[ All talking at once ]

- We're doomed.

The world is coming to an end.

We're trapped in here,

Just the three of us and nermal.

- Nermal is here?

- Nermal, come on in here.

- Well, maybe 20 years later

Isn't so bad after all.

At least nermal

Will no longer be young

And cute.

I can hardly wait.

- Hi, garfield. Yes, it's me,

The galaxy's cutest kitty cat.

- No, no!

Nermal hasn't changed.

- Take me, men from that planet

I can't pronounce!

Please, please,

End this dream sequence,

Wake me up!

- If that's what you want.

[ Finger snap ]

- I can't stand it!

Nermal is 20 years cuter.

- Garfield, wake up.

How many times do I have

To tell you?

- 20 Years more annoying.

- Lunch is ready.

- Lunch? Today?

It's today, and it's lunch, too?

Things are back to normal.

Odie's still odie,

Nermal's still disgusting,

And I get lunch, bring it on!

- Oh, no!

I have to find

A cheeseburger before

They turn them all into tablets!

- Gee, what's so wrong

With taking your

Daily vitamin tablet?

[ Bark ]

- What's the matter, guys?

- We want to play

Teeter-totter,

But we both weigh the same.

- Why don't you both

Get on one side

And I'll sit on this side?

- Oh, boy!

- All set.

- Oh, this isn't

Working either.

- Yeah, we want to go up.

Make us go up.

- I love to make

Children happy.

- The spaceship landed

On the surface

Of the planet zordon,

And the intrepid space pig

Ventured forth.

But with his every step,

He floated free

Of the planet's

Gravitational grasp.

- Why is he floating?

- Well, you see, booker,

On some planets,

You would weigh less

Because of the...

- Uno momento, piggo.

Allow me to explain

All about grabbity.

- It's not grabbity.

It's gravity, with a "v."

- Ha! Shows you what you know.

It's grabbity, with a "b,"

And it's here, there,

And everywhere.

Grabbity can reach right up

And grab you.

A musical lesson.

- ™ª you're an apple in a tree ♪

媻 not for long

Just wait and see ♪

媻 you'll get ripe

When your time is due ♪

媻 wait till grabbity

Grabs hold of you ♪

- What ever goes up,

Must come down,

That's the law of grabbity.

- That's gravity, not grabbity.

- Au contraire, bacon breath.

- ™ª grabbity, it's all around ♪

媻 if you're up

It'll grab you down ♪

媻 grabbity keeps us

On the ground ♪

™ª grabbity, blabbity, flabbity ♪

Jabbity, grabbity ♪

- For the last time,

It's gravity.

- This is a law that keeps us

From floating off into space?

- Sort of.

- So what happens if

They repeal the law? Oh, worry,
oh, considerable worry.

- Wade, i, oh, no!

- 媻 I put a friend

To the test ♪

™ª I know if I expect the best ♪

媻 I'll get hurt

When they don't come through ♪

媻 that's how grabbity
grabs hold of you ♪

- See? Grabbity caused me

To fall down, not up.

- How educational.

- Barnson, what if there

Were no grabbity?

- It's gravity.

- ™ª grabbity, it's all around ♪

媻 if you're up

It'll grab you down ♪

媻 grabbity keeps us

On the ground ♪

媻 grabbity, blabbity, flabbity

Jabbity ♪

- Grabbity.

- I've had enough of this.

- So the law of grabbity

Keeps us on the ground.

But what happens

If they repeal the law?

Oh, fret, oh, anxiety!

- I just had an idea

For a not nice thing to do.

Let me think if this

Is too rotten.

Yes, it is.

Heh-heh, I'll do it.

Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha.

- Mountain climbers do this

To anchor themselves

So they don't fall.

This is in case there's

No grabbity,

So I don't go floating away!

- I don't understand

This grabbity business,

Sheldon. If grabbity

Makes things go down,

How come a kite goes up?

- Eventually it comes down.

The wind lifts it up,

And when the wind goes away,

Grabbity takes over,

And the kite goes down.

- This kite is never

Coming down.

- Have fun. Bye.

- Well, here goes.

[ Evil laugh ]

- Here we go!

Help, help!

A kite's got me. Help!

- Oh, this is gonna be great!

Hee-hee.

- Oh, I hope they don't

Repeal the law of grabbity.

- Ahem. This just in,

The law of grabbity

Has been repealed.

- What?

- You heard me.

Today, a bunch of

Very important people

Who can do anything they want to

Repealed the law of grabbity.

They also repealed

The law of the jungle,

The law of diminishing returns,
the law of supply and demand,

And several rules of thumb.

- Oh, no, oh, no! Help!

There's no more grabbity.

- We're all gonna float away.

[ Laughing ]

- What a craven duck.

[ Laughing ]

- Uh-oh. Ahem.

This just in, a kind,

Understanding pig has forgiven

A local rooster

For his little jests. Aaah!

- Aren't you ashamed

Of yourself?

- No more than usual.

- Roy, gravity is important.

Think what this world

Would be like without gravity.

- Grabbity.

- Things would just float away.

Imagine, doing just

Simple things.

Imagine trying to milk a cow.

You would have

To hang clothes down, not up.

Without grabbity, uh, gravity,

There would be no down

And no up.

- Hi, bo. What's up?

- You mean what's down?

Up is down now, roy,

Say, uh, like,

"What time did you

Get down this morning?"

- I got up this morning.

- Excuse me, I got to go

Downstairs to the attic.

I'm bringing down

Some things from

Up in the cellar.

- Hi, roy.

What are you doing down there?

- Down here?

What are you doing up there?

- This is down, booker.

Roy's high up, on the ground.

- Wait a minute.

The ground's up there

With you guys.

That's where I should be.

I made it.

I'm on the ground.

- You see, roy?

There's no gravity,

Nothing to stop you

From floating off into space.

- Oh, no, no, no, help!

I'm floating away! I'm...

- You're okay, roy.

I was just describing

What it would be like if...

- We have to do something.

Mayday! Here, give me those.

I don't want to float away.

- Oh, no. That's my anchor.

- Wait a minute. They didn't

Repeal the law of grabbity.

That was just a phony

Tv newscast I dreamed up.

- It was?

- This is a daydream of yours,

Pig. No one is floating

Off into space.

- Uh, roy, there's a problem.

- I know. There's no grabbity.

Help, help!

- Nail down everything!

We're all gonna float away!

Help!

- Hey, what got into roy?

He's doing 60 across

The north 40.

- Guess he doesn't appreciate

The gravity of the situation.

- Today, let us discuss

A balanced diet.

A good lunch includes

One serving from each

Of the four basic food groups,

Pasta, cheeseburger with fries,

Chocolate cake, and more pasta.

[ Horror music and sounds ]

[ Gobbling ]

- So much for lunch.

Let's see what's next

On my schedule.

Let's see, sleep, sleep, sleep,

Eat, sleep.

Ah, yes, annoy mailman.

[ Yawn ]

- I think I'll give

The dedicated public servant

A day off

And get an early start

On my post-lunch, main course,

Pre-lunch dessert siesta.

Time for el-napo.

[ Snoring ]

- My brother got a job

Testing defective

Fighter planes.

But not me, nooo.

I had to pick

A dangerous line of work.

Ah, no sign

Of that cat anywhere.

I wonder what he's planning.

- My package!

- Yaah!
[ Splash ]

- Oh, heh, heh, it's you,

Mr. Arbuckle.

- Look, I got my package.

I beat garfield to it.

Every year my mother

Bakes a batch

Of my favorite cookies

And sends them to me.
This is it.

- They, uh,

Must be good cookies.

- I don't remember.

It's been so long

Since I've tasted one.

Let me tell you what happened

Last year.

- They had just arrived.

I was about to bite

Into one when...

- Gasp, cough, gasp and cough.

This is it.

Goodbye, cruel world.

[ Cough ]

- I'm going. I'm going.

I'm almost gone.

- Garfield, what's wrong?

- Any second now.

So long, old friend.

- Where's my first aid book?

Here it is, and it's open to--

What's this? "The dreaded

Bolivian cookie fever

Causes the victims body to turn
yellow.

In advanced stages,

The victim will moo like a cow.

- Moo.

Moo, moo, moo, moo.

Gasp.

- Oh, no. He's got

An advanced case.

"The only known cure

Is a massive dose of cookies."

Hang on, little buddy.

- Speak to me, garfield.

Are you feeling any better?

Garfield?

[ Chewing sounds]

- Could I have some milk

To go with these,

And possibly a steak?

[ Barking ]

- Odie, garfield is ill.

This is no time

To be tracking yellow paint

All over the kit...

- Oh, wondrous miracle

Of miracles, I'm cured,

I'm cured.

In fact, see how fast I can run?

- Garfield,

Those were my cookies!

- That was last year.

Now, the year before...

- What a cookie feast.

- Ah, mom's cookies,

And they're all mine.

[ Phone ring ]

- Who would call

At a time like this?

[ Phone ringing ]

[ Chomp and eating sounds ]

- Hello? Hello, hello!

There's no one there.

- Uh, any calls for me?

- Garfield,

Those were my cookies!

- Now, the year before that.

- Uh, excuse me,

Is this the last flashback?

I have mail to deliver.

- Last one, I promise.

Now, the year before that...

- Oh, boy, mom sent me cookies.

- Aah, aaah? Aaha, aaah?

- Oh, no, not a crumb.

These are mine.

- What greed.

People won't let me have

All of them.

I hope that old safe

Is still in the abandoned lot.

- I haven't had one

Of mom's cookies in years.

[ Evil laugh ]

- Oh, no, not this time.

Where can I hide these

Where he won't get to them?

Of course, in the safe.

Ha. Let's see him try to...

Wait a minute.

I don't have a safe.

[ Munching ]

- Boy, they're not making safes

Like they used to.

- This year I'm going to eat

My mom's cookies.

- I doubt it. But good luck.

- He's asleep.

[ Groan ]

- Whew! I'm safe as long

As he doesn't wake up.

[ Band playing ]

- Oh, no, a parade.

[ Mumbling ]

[ Sigh ]

- He's still asleep.

[ Bark ]

[ Tv sounds ]

[ Barking ]

- I've got to get out of here

With mom's cookies.

- Ah, at last.

Miles from garfield.

[ Crunch ]

- Huh?

- Did I hear a pistachio

And almond nut-filled cookie

With chocolate sprinkles,

About 87 chocolate sprinkles?

- Oh!

- Hm. Who could sleep

With such a racket going on?

- Okay. Okay,

I can live with that.

Next year I'll have mom

Send the cookies to alaska.

Yeah. But wait,

He's gonna be expecting that,

So I'll wear a penguin suit.

But wait, no, no, no.

Then I'll, I'll go to egypt.

Ha, ha! But the penguin suit

Won't work. I'll wear-

I'll wear a camel suit.

He'll never figure that one out.

[ Chew and swallow ]

[ Thunderclap ]

[ Knock at door ]

- Oh, no! Wet pets!

You're dripping all over

My chair!

You guys dry off.

Not on me!

Yuck!

Help!

- He's a proud man, odie.

He won't let us see him cry.

[ Music]