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02x12 - Robodie/U.S. Acres: First Aid Wade/Video Victim

Episode transcripts for the TV show, "Garfield and Friends". Aired: September 17, 1988 – December 10, 1994.*
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Show features animated story lines adapted from the comic strip Garfield and Davis's other comic strip U.S. Acres.

02x12 - Robodie/U.S. Acres: First Aid Wade/Video Victim

Post by bunniefuu »

- World's

- World's largest

- World's largest ball

- World's largest ball of

- Worldtwine, huh.ball of

Fascinating.

I wonder what this is for.

[ Rumbling ]

Uh-oh.

[ Tires screech ]

- Oh, don't worry, garfield.

I'll save you from that awful

Piece of twine.

- There are times when

I hate him.

- Ladies and gentlemen,

"Garfield and friends."

[ Music ]

- ™ª friends are there ♪

- ™ª to help you get started ♪

™ª to give you a push ♪

™ª on your way ♪

- ™ª friends are there ♪

- ™ª to turn you around ♪

™ª get your feet on the ground ♪

™ª for a brand new day ♪

- ™ª they'll pick you up ♪

™ª when you're down ♪

- ™ª help you swallow ♪

™ª your pride ♪

™ª when something inside's ♪

™ª got to break on through ♪

™ª to the other side ♪

- ™ª friends are someone ♪

™ª you can open up to ♪

- ™ª when you feel like ♪

™ª you're ready to flip ♪

- ™ª when you got the world ♪

™ª on your shoulders ♪

- ™ª friends are there ♪

™ª to give you a tip ♪

- ™ª friends are there ♪

™ª when you need them ♪

™ª they're even there ♪

™ª when you don't ♪

- ™ª for a walk in the park ♪

™ª for a shot in the dark ♪

™ª friends are there ♪

- ™ª I don't care ♪

- ™ª but friends will care ♪

™ª for you ♪

- Sell your remote control.

I'm the best thing on.

[ Music ]

- Time for lunch, odie.

And we're near my favorite

Place.

You wait right here.

If I'm not out in three hours,

Send the marines.

[ Barks ]

- Ha ha ha!

Welcome to all-you-can-eat.

Help yourself to the buffet

And the--

[ Gasps ] no-o-o!

Not that cat again!

He's not getting in!

The last time he was here,

All he left was

Napkin holders!

- Wrong. I left six

Ice cubes and a fig.

- No-o-o! Please, cat!

No-o-o! No-o-o!

- Oh, I'll have some of this

And some of this

And all of this and--

- Oh, no! No-o-o!

- This'll do as appetizer.

- Hmm, that dog!

Ah, he's perfect.

More than perfect.

He's--he's--he's adequate.

[ Odie whimpering ]

- Don't panic, little doggie.

Oh, you are gonna be part of

A great experiment.

They laughed at me

When I address

The scientific convention.

Ooh, they laugh, but they will

Not laugh at me next time.

Ooh, and why will they

Not laugh?

Well, I'll tell me.

Because next time,

I will wear pants.

But also, I will unveil

My invention.

- Huh? Wah?

- Ooh, do not fear,

Little poochie.

I am dr. Bean--

Dr. Garbanzo bean!

I do mad scientific work

And one-hour film development.

Here's my latest, greatest

Invention since

The cast-iron mattress.

The robot dog.

- [ Robot voice ] bow-wow.

Bow-wow.

- Huh?

- I shall make a fortune!

A fortune!

An absolute bundle of dough.

A dog that needs not be fed,

Needs not be walked,

And it will fetch over


On two double-a batteries!

Aah!

Never. Never laugh

At dr. Garbanzo bean again!

Ha ha ha ha!

Who's laughing? Oh, it's me.

- [ Robot voice ] bow-wow.

Bow-wow.

- [ Sobbing ]

I'm ruined!

I'm wiped out!

I'm totally insolvent.

- False advertising.

You didn't have

All I could eat.

I hope he restocks before

Dinnertime.

I'm hungry.

Now, where's odie.

Hey, watch it.

Let's go home.

- Bow-wow. Bow-wow.

Bow-wow. Bow-wow.

- Your usual intellectual

Conversation.

[ Music ]

- Bow-wow. Bow-wow.

Bow-wow.

- Shoving odie off the table.

That's not nice, but it's

Something to do.

[ Clang ]

Yowww!

Ooh! Aah! Painful claw!

Painful claw!

[ Grunting ]

[ Panting ]

- Odie's putting on weight.

But if I want to shove him off,

I'm gonna shove him off.

Here goes.

- Bow-wow.

- When did odie get clever?

You want me to throw

The ball and you fetch it?

Okay. At least I'll get rid

Of you for a while.

What is wrong

With this picture?

- Here's some water

For you, boy.

- Bow-wow.

[ Popping sounds ]

- That's the way jon's

Cooking affects me, too, fella.

- This isn't odie.

This is some kind of robot toy.

Garfield,

Where did you and odie go?

- This a-way.

- Bow-wow. Bow-wow.

- Stay.

- Were you here
earlier, garfield?

- Stay away and keep your

Cat away from here, arbuckle!

- Yep, I guess you were here.

Let's look for odie.

- How about this?

Own your own robot dog.

Comes complete with leash,

Battery charger

And robot fleas.

[ Howling echoes ]

- Did you find odie?

- Lassie, eat your heart out.

- Bow-wow. Bow-wow.

- It's--it's an odie fest.

Just what I needed--

A team slurp.

[ Barks ]

[ Panting ]

- I have to find

The real odie.

- Trying to find one

That isn't metal?

- No, try to find one

That's empty.

- Who are you and what are

You doing here?

Explain yourself and make it

Quick, it's a long show.

- I'm jon arbuckle and you

Modeled all these dogs

After my odie.

[ Clangs ]

[ Dull thud ]

- Hollow. Hi, boy.

- Isn't your dog intelligent?

- Odie? I wouldn't say that.

- Oh, stop chasing your tail!

Bad doggie!

No one would buy a dog

That's--that's--

That's lacking intelligence!

- Too bad, doc.

We're taking odie and going.

- I'm ruined.

All my resources spent

On duplicating a dog lacking

In discernible intelligence.

- Hey, he's dumb,

But he's ours.

- Come on, garfield.

- Ohh! Ohh!

All these dogs I made, and--

And I forgot to put in a brain!

- Bow-wow. Bow-wow.

- I'm kinda hungry.

How about you guys?

- You have to ask?

- No. No, arbuckle!

You are not bringing

That cat in here!

I just restocked my buffet!

[ Gulp ]

- What if garfield

Stays outside?

- Okay. You and the dog

Can come in, but not that cat.

- You wait out here,

Garfield.

- Not fair.

- How much can a dog

Like that eat?

Arbuckle,

How many dogs you got?

- Why, just one.

How many do you see?

- Bow-wow. Bow-wow.

- I guess I've got a lot of

New mouths to feed.

Heh. Lucky there's only

One garfield.

- And don't you forget it.

[ Music ]

- Help! Help!

Help! Help!

Help! Help!

Help! Help!

Help! Help!

Help! Help!

- What's the book, booker?

- It's on how to throw

Your voice.

Listen.

Help! Help!

[ Music ]

[ Ping-pong ball bouncing ]

- Face it, pig person,

I'm too expert for you

At this game.

- We'll see about that!

[ Snoring ]

- Okay. Time to end it.

- Uh-oh!

I got it! I got it!

- Ahh, I am just

A worrying duck.

I worry about anything

And everything.

[ Moos ]

- Sure, that's easy

For you to say.

You're not talking

To a moo-cow.

[ Jet engine sound ]

Severe, very severe.

Oh...coming.

- I got it! I got it!

- Ow! To coin a phrase.

- Sorry, wade, but it's my turn.

- Ow!

Ouchie! Ouchie!

I busted my leg on a moo-cow!

Orson, take a look at it!

[ Crash ]

- Ahem. I win.

- Lucky shot.

- Give it to me straight, doc.

I can take it.

- Wade--

- No, I can't.

Lie a little bit.

- Wade, there's nothing

Wrong with your leg.

- Nothing?

- Nothing.

- Our new table tennis

Table.

- Can't you fix it?

- My leg is okay.

Orson said so,

And orson knows.

- Yes, I'm afraid it's broken

In several places.

- Aah!

- Maybe you can glue it

Back together.

- Aah! Ohh!

- Glue won't help.

Maybe nails.

- What?!

Ohh! Ohh!

- I'll get the hammer.

You give it a couple whacks.

- I don't know.

That other one doesn't look

Too good, either.

- Ooh, gee! You--

- Hi, wade.

What's the panic of the day?

- Orson and roy want

To operate on me!

They think they're

Sturgeons or surgeons

Or something like that!

Oh, woe is yours truly!

- Ooh, I gotta hide,

Or at least hide my body

So that cannot operate on it.

I bumped my head,

But it's okay.

I wasn't hurt at all.

Know what--

- ™ª hey, wade ♪

媻 where you going? 媻

™ª you don't have to be afraid ♪

™ª doctors will help ♪

™ª they make it feel better ♪

™ª they're good at giving ♪

™ª first-aid ♪

™ª they spend all their lives ♪

™ª trying to make you ♪

™ª feel better ♪

™ª they don't want ♪

™ª to see you in pain ♪

™ª come on, wade ♪

™ª there's nothing to fear ♪

™ª no point in going insane ♪

™ª people go to doctors ♪

™ª pets go to doctors ♪

™ª doctors go to doctors, too ♪

™ª they don't have fangs ♪

™ª or big claws, either ♪

™ª they just want to help you ♪

™ª you ♪

™ª if you've got a sneeze ♪

™ª or even bruised knees ♪

™ª their medicine will ♪

™ª make you all right ♪

™ª a doctor's your friend ♪

™ª until the end ♪

™ª he'd never hurt you ♪

™ª on purpose ♪

™ª but roy here might ♪

- Aah!

- Wait a minute.

You're not a surgeon, roy.

- I operated on a man

Just yesterday.

- For what?

- For $900.

- No, what did the man have?

- $900.

- No, I mean,

What did you remove?

- The $900.

- No, what was his

Complaint?

- The $900.

- Okay, roy, you carve.

[ Teeth chattering ]

- [ Both talking ] scalpel.

Sponge.

Salt.

Parmesan cheese.

Those little potatoes

Your mother likes.

Those little potatoes
your mother likes.

- It's no use.

Nothing will save the soup.

Let's operate on the duck.

Okay. We're taking out

Your tonsils.

- I don't need my tonsils

Taken out!

- Hey, I've never lost

A patient.

I don't aim to start now.

- Help!

Oh, help me!

Help me!

[ Yelling ]

Help!

- Oh, no!

Don't operate on me!

Please! Oh, no!

- You weren't serious about

Orson and roy operating on you.

- Oh yes, they want to fold

Bend, spindle and mutilate

My poor self.

- Wade, that's ridiculous.

- Yeah, even for you.

- It is, isn't it?

- Well, table's

As good as new.

- Told you we could fix it.

- You're right.

They're not doctors.

And anyways,

Doctors help you.

Doctors are your--

- Careful, wade.

- Yeah, you're leading up

To another song cue.

- I will never be afraid

Like that again!

[ Teeth chattering ]

- Help! Orson and roy

Are gonna operate on me!

Help!

- I think wade needs

A backbone operation.

- He does?

- Yeah, we're gonna have

One installed.

[ Music ]

[ Sports announcer talking ]

- Watching golf.

That's what I'm doing,

I'm watching golf--

The most boring,

Tedious thing on all of tv,

And I'm watching it.

I gotta change the channel.

The remote is way over there.

Well, this is kinda

Entertaining.

[ Vacuum running ]

[ Humming ]

- Huh?

I'm sorry the vacuum cleaner

Interferes with your

Tv watching, but how else am I

Going to get the house clean?

Why should I give up

The vacuum cleaner?

Why don't you give up tv?

- Give up tv?

What planet are you from?

Why not give up breathing

Or eating italian food?

- I'll make a deal with you.

If you can go for one day,


Watching tv,

I'll stop using the vacuum.

- Might be worth it.

You got a deal, fella.

- This is the easiest bet

I ever won in my life.

- You think I have

No willpower?

Ha! I'll show you.

Hmm, channel 48,

"Yogurt around the world,"

A 16-hour documentary

About why nobody likes it

But everybody eats it.

I've been looking forward

To that all week.

Uh-uh. I don't care if they

Rerun "the creature

That devoured muncie."

I'm not watching.

- Hmm, look what's on

Channel 37.

"The creature that

Devoured muncie."

- A cinema classic.

To think they gave the oscar

That year to "gandhi."

I gotta watch it.

- Channel 91,

"Kung-fu dance party."

- My favorite.

- Channel 83, a new game show,

"Hit the buzzer,

Win a cookie."

- Aah! I know,

I'll do something constructive

With my time.

I'll go to sleep.

- He won't last.

Garfield not watch tv

For a whole day?

Can't be done.

- I can go without tv.

I can go as long as I want

Without it.


And 11 seconds to go.

Sleep, the next best thing

To tv.

- Garfield.

- Who said that?

Just my imagination.

- Garfield.

- You didn't hear anything.

- Garfield.

- Who's there?

- Garfield, why have you

Abandoned me?

- Who's there?

Who are you?

- Why it's just me, garfield.

Your dear friend.

After all the hours I've

Entertained you,

Don't you remember me?

- No-o-o!

[ Snoring ]

- Odie, wake up!

Odie!

The tv's come to life, odie!

The tv set talked to me!

It said--

- Mm-hmm?

- It was a joke.

Have you no sense of humor?

[ Odie groans ]

- Must have been

A bad dream.

Maybe I shouldn't have eaten

That ninth anchovy pizza

With canadian bacon.

The tv coming to life.

Huh.

- Garfield.

[ Gasp ]

- There are a lot of good

Shows on me right now.

I think there's a game show

On me right now, garfield--

"Name that fish."

You love "name that fish."

- Yaaah!

- There's a new talk show

On me, garfield.

It stars a milkman

From east moline, illinois.

- Get away!

- He was the only person

In america who didn't have

His own talk show.

Now everyone has one.

Wouldn't you like

To watch it?

You want to watch me.

You know you do.

- No!

- Just turn the knob,

Garfield.

I'll entertain you.

Garfield, what are you doing?

Garfield, we had

Such fun together.

[ Powering down ]

™ª garfield, garfield ♪

™ª give me your answer, do ♪

- I hated to do it,

But it was either him or me.

- I'm going to check

The weather.

Gee, that's funny.

The tv doesn't work.

It must be broken.

- Huh?

- So, garfield, I guess

There's no way you can lose

Our bet now.

You win.

So I won't use the vacuum

Cleaner anymore.

And when the tv's fixed,

You can watch it

All you want.

- Take your time.

Call a slow repairman.

Make him take it

Into the shop.

- I don't understand it.

I never understand that cat.

Oh, well.

- Jon.

I'm not good enough

For you anymore?

We used to really clean up

Together.

Remember the way we used

To glide across the floor?

The way you liked to hum

In tune with my motor.

- Aaaaah!

[ Theme music ]