02x18 - The Bear Facts/U.S. Acres: Nothing to Be Afraid of/The Big Talker

[bunniefuu]

[ Snoring

- I thought you were asleep.

- I was, my stomach wasn't.

- Ladies and gentlemen,

Garfield and friends.

- ™ª friends are there ♪

- ™ª to help you get started, ♪

媻 to give you a
push on your way ♪

- ™ª friends are there ♪

- ™ª to turn you around, ♪

™ª get your feet on the ground ♪

™ª for a brand new day ♪

- ™ª they pick you up ♪

™ª when you're down ♪

- 媻 help you swallow
your pride, ♪

™ª when something inside ♪

™ª says to break on through ♪

™ª to the other side ♪

- ™ª friends are someone ♪

™ª you can open up to ♪

- ™ª when you feel like ♪

™ª you're ready to flip ♪

- ™ª when you've got the world ♪

™ª on your shoulders ♪

- ™ª friends are there ♪

™ª to give you a tip ♪

- ™ª friends are there ♪

™ª when you need them ♪

™ª they're even there ♪

™ª when you don't ♪

- ™ª for a walk in the park, ♪

™ª or a shot in the dark, ♪

™ª friends are there ♪

- ™ª I don't care ♪

- ™ª but friends will care ♪

™ª for you ♪

- Don't try any of this

At home kids.

We're professionals.

- Garfield, come back here!

- No! No!

I'm not going.

[ Crash ]

- Garfield, we are

Going camping.

- Only someone really dumb

Would enjoy a week in the woods.

[ Panting ]

- Ta-da!

- He never misses a cue.

- Now, get your things together

And remember, bring only

The absolute necessities.

- Absolute necessities, right.

Cd player, refrigerator/freezer

Combo, microwave, vcr,

Laser disc.

- Well, do you have everything?

- Just about.

Know where I can find


- I said only

The absolute necessities.

Do you know what that means?

- You're right. I might need

The trash compactor.

- Why?

Why do I take him anywhere?

Why?

- And don't forget, folks,

The doodah brothers circus

Is now in town.

- Let's go to the circus.

Anything is better than camping.

- Now featuring binky the clown

And his tap-dancing bear.

- You're right,
let's go camping.

- The campsite is just

A few miles from here.

Well, it took a while,

But I finally got my tent up.

How are you doing, garfield?

- Ahem.

- Little gem instant

Inflatable cabin.

Don't leave home without a home.

This is roughing it?

- You know, odie,

Camping out isn't so bad.

You get to see nature up close.

There's a squirrel,

And there's a rabbit,

And there's a duck.

- Huh? Ah!

- Cameo guest star.

Well, we've been here


- After dinner, maybe

I'll sing you guys a song.

Want a hotdog, garfield?

- Cook at 350 degrees

For 35 minutes.

They should have special

Campfire instructions on

Tv dinners.

Maybe you can

Eat these like this.

No one will ever get rich off

The mashed potato ice cream bar.

- Here you go, odie, eat up.

[ Growling ]

- There there, boy.

It's the just wind or

Some squirrels or something.

Nothing to be afraid of.

- Don't listen to him.

There's plenty to be afraid of.

Out in the woods here

They have pumas who love

To play camper buffet.

[ Whimpers ]

- Plus there are snakes

And wolves and monsters

And little girls in uniforms

Who make you buy cookies.

All sorts of scary things.

[ Whining ]

[ Sniffing ]

- Footprints.

Who do they belong to boy?

[ Growling ]

- Jon's last blind date?

- Uh-uh.

- Someone with fur

All over them?

- Uh-huh.

- Jon's last blind date

In the winter?

[ Barks ]

- Oh, bear.

Those are bear prints.

- Uh-huh.

- There's a bear

Lurking around, odie!

Let's go!

[ Sniffing ]

- Odie, you dog dumbo,

Don't go in there.

It might be full of pumas.

[ Barking ]

- Don't worry, odie,

I'm coming.

I don't know why, but I am.

Odie?

It looks like

The remains of binky.

The bear got binky!

That's terrible.

Well, sort of terrible.

But where's the bear?

[ Growling ]

[ Screaming ]

- Well, guys, I think

I'll sing you a nice,

After-dinner song.

- Help! Help!

- Hey, my singing

Isn't that bad.

[ Growling ]

[ Screams ]

- We're trapped like rats.

- Speak for yourself.

[ Growls ]

- This is it, we're done for.

Why does he have

A circus collar on?

- Because he's binky's

Dancing circus bear.

Play something!

- I should sing?

Okay. Thinking. Thinking.

媻 one little cubby bear
far away from home ♪

™ª met a friendly hiker ♪

媻 on his way to rome. 媻

媻 said the hiker to
the cubby bear, ♪

™ª come away with me, and we'll ♪

媻 live on the pasta
in old napoli. 媻

- Keep singing! Keep singing!

™ª - two little cubby bears ♪

™ª far away from home met ♪

媻 a friendly hiker
on his way to rome. 媻

媻 said the hiker to
the cubby bear-- ♪

- Hey bear, why'd you run away?

[ Growling ]

- Nice bear.

We have an act together,

Remember?

This is what always happens

When you have partners.

- Sing for your supper

Or we'll be supper.

- Right.

媻 two little cubby
bears far away ♪

媻 from home met a
friendly hiker ♪

媻 on his way to rome. 媻

媻 said the hiker to
the cubby bear, ♪

™ª come away with me, ♪

™ª and we'll live on the pasta ♪

媻 in old napoli. 媻

- Don't ask.

媻 - three little cubby
bears far away from home ♪

媻 met a friendly hiker
on his way to rome. 媻

媻 said the hiker to the cubby
bear, come away with me, ♪

™ª and we'll live-- ♪

™ª 387 little cubby ♪

媻 bears far away
from home met-- ♪

™ª kindly hiker on the way ♪

™ª to rome, said-- ♪

™ª said the hiker ♪

™ª to the cubby bear ♪

™ª come away with me-- ♪

When can I stop?

- When his trainer comes

And gets him.

- When will that be?

- He's on vacation

Till week after next.

™ª - met a kindly hiker ♪

媻 on his way to rome. 媻

- You know what the
sad part of this is?

This is the sixth time

Jon's taking me camping,

And this is still

The most fun I've ever had.

- The rooster is bored.

What to do. What to do.

What to do.

Let's see, I can read a book

And improve my mind,

I can do my chores,

Or I could play a rotten trick

On wade and make him run

Screaming around the barnyard.

What a tough decision.

[ Humming ]

- Hey, you'd have made

The same choice.

Admit it.

Wade, giant lobsters

From outer space

Are stalking us all

With drawn butter!

- Oh, I've been

Worried about that!

Help! Oh help!

Giant lobsters

From outer space!

Major crustacean alert!

[ Laughing ]

- This is the 14th time

I've done this to him today.

- Help! Mayday!

Assistance!

Jeopardy situation!

Panic! Severe panic!

Orson help!

Disaster!

Help.

- Hey, like, what's the crisis

Of the hour, wade-o?

- It's a 628.

- Excuse us a second, bo.


Living radioactive saltines

From saturn invading

Our tomato soup.

- No. No. No.

No. No. No. No. No.

That's 629.

- Excuse me.

Giant lobsters from outer space.

This isn't-- wade!

Wade, you worry about

The silliest things

In the world.

- I do not.

- Pimentos in olives

Are staring at you?

- It's possible.

- The entire nation of paraguay

Is talking about you

Behind your back?

- A valid concern.

- Staplers are spying on

Important paperwork so

They can take over the world?

- Can you prove they're not?

- Wade, enough already.

- I'm sorry, orson.

I'm afraid of everything.

I'm afraid of being a coward.

I'm scared of being afraid.

I worry that I worry too much.

I'm afraid afraid

Is another name for wade

™ª rocks, flowers, herbal tea, ♪

™ª they all pose a threat to me ♪

媻 water, clouds,
trees, and sky, ♪

™ª oh, yeah, I forgot ♪

媻 I'm afraid to fly! 媻

™ª I'm afraid of something ♪

™ª that makes me frown, ♪

™ª I'm scared of a bug ♪

™ª that crawls on the ground, ♪

™ª I worry about things ♪

™ª that I can't see, ♪

™ª then I when I see them, ♪

媻 they really scare me. 媻

™ª day and night scare me too ♪

™ª I'm even scared of being you ♪

™ª I'm afraid of everything ♪

Stop the music, what am I doing?

I'm even scared to sing.

- Wade, I'm going to find

Something in this world

That even you

Can't be afraid of.

- Hey, that--

That kind of scares me.

- So there's got

To be something

That won't frighten wade.

[ Clears throat ]

- Sounds of skepticism.

- Yeah.

That duck's just plain chicken.

Forgive the expression.

- You're forgiven.

- Well, let's scope it

Out, man.

- It's a challenge.

- We'll find something.

Come on.

- Yeah, let's go.

We'll find it.

- Take a look at

This flower, wade.

See, nothing scary about it.

- But there's a bee on it.

[ Screams ]

- Uh, let's find

Something else.

- Okay, wade.

Here's a rock.

Now, tell me

What's scary about a rock.

- Uh, let me examine it.

[ Shouts ]

Yeow!

- I'll keep looking.

- This bone ought to do it.

There's no way wade can--

- Ow, grimace,

Yeow, pain of pains.

- Hey, duck, tell me

What's to be afraid of

From this bone.

- A bone?

Well, gee, I guess there's

Nothing to be afraid of.

[ Barking ]

- Excuse me,

There are children watching.

Yeow! Oh, pain!

Plenty! Ah-hah!

- Okay.

He's afraid of bones now.

- Wade, I give up.

You're afraid of everything.

I'm surprised

You're not afraid of the air.

- Air? That's right!

Air contains pollution.

I better not breathe.

- There is nothing

In this world

That doesn't scare this duck.

- Like oh, contraire piggeroo.

I'll tell you what

Won't terrify old ducko here.

- Ow!

- A solitary feather.

- Gee, that feather came

From my very own personal me,

And I cannot see

Any reason to be afraid of it.

- You did it bo!

You found something wade

Isn't scared of.

- Oh, it was nothing, man.

I'm going to go finish

Moving the piano.

- I'll be right there

To help you.

- Gosh, I guess if

There's one thing in this world

Not to be afraid of,

There may be others.

My whole life has changed.

Farewell feather.

I go forth into the world now

A being of great courage.

[ Sneezes ]

- Hey!

- Yes. I have nothing

To be afraid of.

Feather.

I just know it was the feather.

- You're right, wade.

It was the feather!

- A rock wasn't safe,

Or a bone, or a flower,

Or a feather.

- That duck is

Never going to change.

- Maybe not, but at least

We've got some courage

On the farm.

- Right! We've got orson.

- He's the bravest one of all.

- Ahem. You mean

That brave piggo?

- Orson, what are

You doing in there?

What are you afraid of?

- 746.

- Giant flying submarine

Sandwiches divebombing us

With salami?

- No. No. That's a 647.

- Oh.

Attack wave legion

Of crazed pat sajak

Impersonators?

- No. That's a 467.

- Oh, oh, here.

Being used as couch

By extremely fat person.

[ Cars racing ]

- This show is boring.

Let's see what else is on.

The binky show, name that fish.

Rick deltoid's workout.

Musket troop.

Oh, here's a good one.

Where's the remote control?

For the matter, where's the tv?

- Now, this is

Much more comfortable.

- Well, perhaps

You'd like us to move

The kitchen closer so you won't

Have to walk all

The way in there.

- You think that's possible?

- Garfield, for the last time--

- And now the talkingest

Talk show host in town,

Joe palaver.

- Cats, what are they good for?

Apparently, nothing.

We tried to find someone

To come on our show

And defend cats,

But we couldn't.

- Gee, I wonder

Who they could get

To speak out on behalf of cats?

Now, wait a minute.

Hold on.

Joe palaver is the rudest,

Nastiest talk show host

In the world.

I am not going on his show.

Do you understand me?

- I understand perfectly.

- Our next guest is cat lover,

Jon arbuckle.

[ Shouting ]

- Go, jon. You tell them.

- Does your cat do

Any tricks, arbuckle?

- Well, no.

- Does your cat do any chores?

- Well, no.

- Does your cat,

In fact, do anything?

- Uh, not really.

- Jon didn't tell me

He was going to tell the truth!

- Then of what good

Is this cat of yours?

Answer me that!

You can't answer me.

- I've got to help jon.

- Is your cat even cute?

- Well, uh --

[ Laughter ]

- No.

- There it is, folks.

Proof positive that cats

Are absolutely worthless.

Now, what do we do with him?

[ Crowd booing ]

- Dump him! Dump him!

- Whoa!

Garfield, I know how you

Feel about this man,

And I've decided

What I have to do.

- I knew I could count on you.

- I'm going to go home

And forget about it.

- I knew that was what

I could count on you to do.

There's got to be a way

To get this clown

To change his mind

About cats.

- Sit down and we'll touch up

Your makeup, mr. Palaver.

- Be careful with that mirror.

You break a mirror,

It's seven years' bad luck.

I have to do another

Show this afternoon.

- He's superstitious.

Hmm. Okay.

I think we know how

To handle this.

Garfield, master of disguise.

- I'll be back before

The next show,

I just want to go
get some lunch, and--

- A black cat has
crossed my path.

That's bad luck.

I need something to undo it.

- You know when you get panicked

And don't pay attention,

Accidents can happen,

Like slipping on a wet floor.

- Yeow!

[ Chuckles ]

- My bad luck is starting.

I've got to get

My good luck charms.

Can't have bad luck.

I have to do a tv show.

Ah, here it is,

My lucky rabbit's foot.

- Aren't very lucky

For the rabbit, are they?

- The black cat.

He's after me because of

What I said on my show.

That's it.

But he won't get me.

I'll hide in the control room.

He won't find me in here.

- Smile, you're on

Catnip camera.

[ Shouts ]

- No, no!

Keep away from me!

- Yeah.

I know this kind of nasty,

But it's my job.

- And now, the talkingest

Talker in town, joe palaver.

- Keep that cat away from me.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

Everything i-- everything bad

I said about cats,

I take it back.

Cats are fine.

Cats are nice.

I will never say another

Bad thing abut a cat again.

- I don't know how he does it,

But he always does it.

- Audience, do you

Understand what I'm saying?

Are you with me?

[ Booing ]

- Dump him! Dump him!

- No!

No! No! I said I was sorry!

Help! The cat! Help!

- I didn't want to do it

To him, but there are some

Things a cat's just gotta do.

I better get this paint off

In case someone else believes

That nonsense about black cats

Being bad luck.

I don't want folks

Being afraid of me.

- Ah, a black cat!

Bad luck!

- Of course, there are

Advantages to it, I suppose.