02x25 - Lemon Aid/U.S. Acres: Hog Noon/Video Airlines

[bunniefuu]

[

[ Humming

Garfield!

What's the idea of putting

This glop in my washing machine?

- Jon, what's the idea of

Putting this dirty laundry

In my chocolate pudding?

- Ladies and gentlemen,

Garfield and friends.

- 媻 friends are there... 媻

- ™ª to help you get started ♪

™ª to give you a push ♪

™ª on your way ♪

- 媻 friends are there... 媻

- ™ª to turn you around ♪

™ª get your feet on the ground ♪

™ª for a brand new day ♪

- ™ª they'll pick you up ♪

™ª when you're down ♪

- 媻 help you swallow
your pride ♪

™ª when something inside's ♪

™ª set to break on through ♪

™ª to the other side ♪

- ™ª friends are someone ♪

™ª you can open up to ♪

- ™ª when you feel like ♪

™ª you're ready to flip ♪

- ™ª when you've got the world ♪

™ª on your shoulder ♪

- ™ª friends are there ♪

™ª to give you a tip ♪

- ™ª friends are there ♪

™ª when you need them ♪

™ª they're even there ♪

™ª when you don't ♪

- ™ª for a walk in the park ♪

™ª or a shot in the dark ♪

™ª friends are there ♪

- ™ª I don't care ♪

- ™ª but friends will care ♪

™ª for you ♪

- "Garfield and friends"

Is taped in front of an animated

Studio audience.

- [ Humming ]

Garfield, what are you doing?

- Making a medium-sized

Sandwich.

What does it look like?

- Have you seen my shoes?

- What would I be doing

With your shoes?

How could I possibly--

Oh, wait.

Hey, mayonnaise is good

For the shine.

Okay, when I make a sandwich,

I get a little carried away.

[ Telephone rings ]

[ Ring ]

- Hello?

- Hello.

Is this mr. Jon arburkle?

- Arbuckle.

- Close enough, mr. Arbinkle.

If you can answer a question,

You'll win a new car.

- Win? Wow!

- Okay, here's your question.

When they asked general custer

Where all the indians came from,

What did he say?

- I don't know.

- That is correct! You win!

- I did? I won?

- Now, come on down to

Swindler motors and claim

Your new car.

Just ask for me, al j. Swindler.

- Garfield, I just won

A new car!

Let's get odie and go!

- Odie? Here boy. Odie?

- [ Whimpering ]

- Hey, is it my fault you look

Like liverwurst today?

- Excuse me, sir.

By any chance

Would you be interested

In selling this car?

- Why, yes. I just won

A new car, so I won't be needing

This one.

- I'll give you $500.

- It's a deal if you'll drop

Us off so I can pick up

My new car.

- Good, I have all

The contracts right here.

- [ Sniffs ]

Gee, something smells funny.

- Okay, here's the address.

Now get outta my car.

- Boy, that guy was really

In a hurry.

- You shouldn't have sold

The car.

- I know, garfield, you're

Thinking I shouldn't have sold

The car.

- The kid is psychic.

- Well, I just won a brand new

Car, so I don't need my old one

Anymore.

Mr. Swindler?

- Hello, hello, hello?

You must be our contest winner,

Mr. Arbronical?

- Boy, he looks familiar.

- It's arbuckle.

Where's my new car?

- Right here, mr. Arsenic.

- That's not a new car.

- Well, it's new to you,

Isn't it?

Now, if you don't mind

Getting it outta here,

I need the room.

- Gee, I think I hear

An "I told you so" coming.

- But I'm not taking this car.

- Well, if you leave it here,

I'm gonna have to charge you

For parking $20 an hour.

- Well, I need a car now.

I guess i--come on, guys.

[ Backfires ]

- Would you like to sh**t it

Now or wait till you get home?

- I'm not giving up

On this car.

Blblblblblbl.

[ Coughs ]

I need to find a mechanic.

- Pardon me.

You need a mechanic?

- Either that's the same guy,

Or our budget for new actors

Is in a lot of trouble.

[ Whimpers ]

- How much will it cost to fix?

- Well, mr. Arsenio, let me do

A little minor calculation.

Let's say four new tires,

New transmission, new muffler,

New engine, new radiator.

- Do you have to replace

Everything?

- I'll try to save the ashtray,

But it doesn't look good.

Your estimate.

Now, please keep in mind

Like any mechanic

I reserve the right to change

The entire price

After I do the work.

- This much? I could buy

A new car for this much.

- You interested in a new car,

Sir? Al swindler

Of swindler motors.

- What kind of trade in

Will you give me on my old car?

- Ha! This piece of junk?

You'll have to pay me

To haul it away.

But I have just the car

For you.

Here's a used car

That I just got in.

Low mileage, runs like a dream.

Just a few lasagna stains

In the interior.

- Hey, that's nice.

That's like the car

I used to have.

Wait a minute, that's my car!

- Oh, no, no, no.

I have a contract right here.

All signed and legal.

- I can't take anymore of this.

Jon needs the long paw

Of the law.

- [ Woof ]

- I can make you a deal

For this car, say $1,500?

- 1,500? I sold it for 5!

You're not gonna sell me

My own car back.

- It's my car, mr. Arborday,

And i--

Oh, well, hello, officer.

- [ Struggling ]

- This gentleman and I

Were just discussing--

Oh, that car?

It's in a no-parking zone.

Well, you see, it belongs

To mr. Arboffle here.

- Oh, no, I think it's still

In your name, mr. Swindler.

You'll get the ticket

Unless you move it.

- Right away.

[ Engine cranks ]

- Hey, this thing won't start!

Aah!

Help! I don't have any brakes!

- Come on!

We gotta help this guy!

- Get everything out of the

Way like people and buildings.

I'm coming through.

- He's heading for
the river front.

Hey, wanna sell me this car?

Say, for $500?

- 750.

Okay, okay, 500. It's a deal!

- Kids, don't try this

At home.

We're professionals and also

We're cartoon characters.

- Mr. Arbinky,

You saved my life.

Here's the contract

For your car.

- And here's your 500.

I hope you learned your lesson.

- I did, I did. From now on,

It's honesty all the way.

Good day.

- I owe you an "I told you so"

And you owe me lunch.

- Garfield, you owe me

An "I told you so"

And I owe you lunch.

- Hey, did someone say lunch?

Hey, swindler catering service

At your service.

- No, no, get away from us.

We're not hungry after all,

Are we, garfield?

Come on, let's go, boy.

- Why, it's getting tougher

And tougher to make

An honest dollar.

Mmm, that's tasty!

- Run for your life.

Power pig is on the rampage!

- [ Laughs ]

- Run for your lives.

Power pig is on the rampage!

[ Both laugh ]

- Run for your life.

Power pig is on the rampage!

- Rampage! Help! Oh, help!

- I can always count on wade.

- It's a beautiful day, wade.

Nothing can go wrong

On a day like this.

- Oh, boy, then this is going

To be a very dull cartoon.

- Mail call.

Here's one addressed

To orson pig,

And wade gets all the letters

Addressed to occupant.

- Oh, boy.

- Oh, no.

This is from hammerhead hog.

- What, asks the rooster,

Is a hammerhead hog?

- Hammerhead hog was a kid

I went to school with.

Every day my mother

Used to give me a quarter

To buy milk with, and every day,

Hammerhead used to take

My quarter away from me.

- Why'd you give it to him?

- Well, he was pretty strong.

He used to tear

Telephone booths in half.

- Don't you mean telephone

Books?

- No, booths.

Finally, one day

I told the principal pig

What hammerhead was doing.

Hammerhead became the first

Student to ever get detention

For life.

- I'm gonna get that orson pig

For snitching on me.

- And now I have

This letter from him.

I've never forgotten

How I wound up in detention.

I'm coming by at noon today

To settle with you.

Signed hammerhead hog.

Oh, no, he wants

To settle with me!

What am I gonna do?

- Well, you might try this.

Help, help! Big pig coming

To squish little pig.

Help! Mayday! Send the marines!

- Hmm. The duck

May be on to something.

Well, orson,

What are you gonna do?

- Maybe one of my books

Has an answer.

I have a book

On almost everything.

- Books? This is no time

For books.

This is the time

For a sneaky trick.

I'll go arrange one.

- Books are helpful

At all times. Here's one.

"Basic self defense."

The first rule of self

Defense is don't attempt it.

Hire a good lawyer.

Yeah, that's no good.

- Run for your life, orson!

Hide yourself!

- Hey, this might help.

"Tales of old dodge city."

In the days when dodge city

Was wild, the only law west

Of the pecos was the marshal.

[ g*nshots ]

- ™ª there is a pig ♪

™ª who wears a star ♪

™ª makes desperados run ♪

™ª he'll only use ♪

™ª his wits and brains ♪

™ª he's a pig without a g*n ♪

™ª he had a tough job to do ♪

™ª he had a town to tame ♪

™ª faced trouble all alone ♪

™ª marshal orson was his name ♪

- Marshal orson?

Oh, marshal orson?

Marshal orson?

- What's all the excitement,

Deputy wade?

- Hammerhead hog.

He's wanted for robbery,

Rustling and using the accounts

And descriptions of a game

Without the express written

Consent of major league

Baseball.

- Well, I thought I sent him

To prison once

For taking lunch money,

But that was a while ago.

- Well, he all busted out

And he all's gonna be at

The ok barnyard at high noon.

- It's 11:45.

I suppose I'll have to meet him

And talk him into surrendering.

- If I was you I'd get out

Of town for a while,

Like until the next century.

- Now, running away is not

The answer, deputy.

Sometimes a pig's gotta do

What a pig's gotta do.

Now, I gotta get rid

Of these high heel boots.

They're a-k*lling my feet.

[ Wind blows ]

- ™ª the sun was high ♪

™ª with scorching heat ♪

™ª and not a soul around ♪

™ª except for marshal orson ♪

™ª and the bully of the town ♪

™ª hammerhead is one mean hog ♪

™ª his shot is fast and true ♪

™ª we wonder, marshal orson ♪

™ª we all wonder what you'll do ♪

- Howdy, marshal orson.

I've come to settle up with you.

- ™ª the hog was fast ♪

™ª but not fast enough ♪

™ª and orson saved the day ♪

™ª the ok barnyard showdown ♪

™ª will make history they say ♪

™ª marshal orson walked away ♪

™ª that day unscathed ♪

™ª and unflustered ♪

™ª the hog was left ♪

™ª flat on his back ♪

™ª brought down ♪

™ª by lemon custard ♪

[ Gulp ]

- Orson! Orson!

I rigged up a way

To take care of hammerhead.

Just get him to step on that x

And wham-o!


Yeah, I know it's a rotten

Thing to do to someone, but

This is a desperate situation.

- Look, I don't need

Your tricks, roy.

I'm gonna stand up

To hammerhead.

- Orson, when did you first

Have this need to do away

With yourself?

- A pig's gotta do

What a pig's gotta do.

You can't run away

From everything.

- Where are you, orson?

- He's here.

[ Wind blows ]

- Hello, hammerhead.

I got your letter.

I know you've come

To settle things.

- Right. I decided it was time

I paid you back.

[ Teeth chatter ]

- Here you are.

That's $12.50 in quarters

That I owe you.

- Yeah, but I thought--

Oh, never mind what I thought.

What is this?

- It's the money I took from

You back in the school yard.

My conscious is clear now.

I gotta go, but I'll come back

And visit you sometime soon.

- Orson, you're still orson.

What happened?

- I stood up to him, guys.

I stood up to him and it all

Worked out.

And just remember,

When you stand up for yourself,

You know what you get?

- Creamed corn?

- Something like that.

- And now, in spite of popular

Demand, it's time for
screaming with binky.

We're about to see--

- Excuse me, ladies

And gentlemen,

But I have laryngitis.

- Laryngitis? That means

No yelling.

That means no screaming.

Well, I guess--

- Hey, cat!

- Ouch! I thought you said

You had laringitis?

- I do but I also have

Great stereo equipment.

- Hey, cat!

- Ouch!

We'll be right back...maybe.

- Careful, odie. We could be

Under attack at any moment.

- [ Whimpers ]

- The enemy is armed

And dangerous.

Keep your head down.

Here it comes! Get down!

[ Popping ]

- Let's go find a good movie

On tv.

There's nothing like

A movie and popcorn.

- Movie and pizza.

Movie and pizza.

- Okay, everyone set?

- And now back to today's

Mediocre movie matinee

Presentation, "kung fu

Creatures on the rampage 2."

- You, you're not sylvia.

You're one of the kung fu

Creatures on the rampage 2.

- Let's see what else is on.

- We return now to today's

Feature presentation

Here on adequate theater.

- You, you're not sylvia.

You're one of the kung fu

Creatures on the rampage 2.

- Hey, kids!

It's your old pal binky!

- I am desperate.

I'd even watch binky.

- Otherwise known to fans of

This show as that awful clown.

- And now, here's a special

Binky surprise.

- You, you're not sylvia.

You're one of the kung fu

Creatures on the rampage 2.

- Good idea. I'll try

The spanish language channel.

[ Speaking spanish ]

[ Movie dialogue in spanish ]

- The educational channel

Is running a documentary,

The making of "kung fu creatures

On the rampage 2."

- I'm in the mood for a movie

This evening, and since there's

Nothing on, we'll just have to

Go rent a movie.

- Movie and pizza.

Movie and pizza.

- Maybe a drama.

No, a comedy.

Maybe something with adventure.

- Maybe something with

Anchovies.

No, pepperoni. Maybe sausage.

- Hi, I'd like to open

A membership here so I can rent

Some movies.

- Fine. Just a few minor forms

To fill out, sir.

I'll need to see

A driver's license.

- Got it right here.

- Two major credit cards.

- Two major credit cards.

- And a picture i.d.

- Picture i.d.

- And three references

From neighbors.

- Three references

From neighbors.

- All excited about renting

A tape, odie?

[ Yawns ]

- You don't care?

Odie, don't you understand

The value of videotapes

In the world today?

They provide a way to travel

The world without leaving your

Chair or the vicinity

Of your refrigerator.

™ª this may appear to be ♪

™ª a video tape ♪

™ª but it's a first-class ♪

™ª ticket to a great escape ♪

™ª take a journey to where ♪

™ª the tropical sun shines ♪

™ª just take a trip ♪

™ª on video airlines ♪

™ª now turn the knob ♪

™ª on your tv set ♪

™ª it'll send you faster ♪

™ª than a turbo jet ♪

™ª from your living room where ♪

™ª a friendly monster dines ♪

™ª just take a trip ♪

™ª on video airlines ♪

™ª you can sail the nile ♪

™ª climb mount everest ♪

™ª mingle with society ♪

™ª where they never rest ♪

™ª the arctic circle ♪

™ª trafalgar square ♪

™ª a video can take you ♪

™ª nearly everywhere ♪

™ª from the densest jungles ♪

™ª to the emptiest space ♪

™ª wild adventure ♪

™ª any place ♪

™ª you can be a soldier ♪

™ª or a star ♪

™ª your imagination tells you ♪

™ª who you are ♪

™ª so grab a bunch ♪

™ª of the movies here ♪

™ª places, oh, so far ♪

™ª become, oh, so near ♪

™ª spend some time ♪

™ª in the desert ♪

™ª or the sheltering pines ♪

™ª jungle vines ♪

™ª king solomon mines ♪

™ª while your bod refines ♪

™ª your tummy dines ♪

™ª just take a trip ♪

™ª on video airlines ♪

- Letter from your

Third grade teacher.

- Here it is.

- Photo of you

In a zebra costume.

- Here you go.

- Klopman diamond.

- Here.

When can I rent a tape?

- Right now.

Here's your rental card.

- I made it. Okay.

Let's see what's left to rent.

- Oh, too bad. Looks like

Everything's been rented.

- [ Woof ]

- I'll take it.

Whatever it is, I'll rent it.

Come on, guys.

Okay, guys, it's movie time!

- You, you're not sylvia.

You're one of the kung fu

Creatures on the rampage 2.

- This is the only movie

In the entire world.

- We're not watching this.

Guys, I'm afraid we're gonna

Have to do something drastic.

- You mean--

- We're actually going to go

Out to a movie theater.

- We'll go to that new

Multi-cinema.

They have 37 screens.

- All of which will be showing

"Kung fu creatures

On the rampage 2."

- Theatre 29, okay, you go right

For three blocks, hang a left,

And wait for the tram.

- Here it is, guys.

Now, before we go in tell me,

Are you showing "kung fu

Creatures on the rampage 2?"

- Absolutely not.

- At last!

I wonder what this movie is.

- Here comes the title.

"Kung fu creatures

On the rampage 3."

- It's-- it's the sequel.

- They made another one.

- [ Whimpers ]

- Let's get outta here.

- [ Evil laugh ]

You're not staying?

- Uh--

- You, you're not sylvia.

You're one of the kung fu

Creatures on the rampage 3.

- It's not a bad movie.

- What do you say, odie?

Thumbs up?

[ Whimpers ]