03x10 - Odielocks and the 3 Cats/U.S. Acres: Quack to the Future/Beddy Buy

[bunniefuu]

Ladies

Ladies and

Ladies and gentlemen,

Ladies and gentlemen,
Garfield

Ladies and gentlemen,
Garfield and

Ladies and gentlemen,
Garfield and Friends!

Ladies and gentlemen,
Garfield ♪♪d Friends!

We're...

We're...

ready...

ready...

to...

to...

party!

♪ We're ready to party,
we're ready, yo! ♪

-[Garfield] ♪ I hope you
bring lots of spaghetti ♪

♪ Come on in, come to the
place where fun never ends ♪

♪ Come on in,
it's time to party ♪

♪ With Garfield and Friends ♪

Dancing...

Fiesta...

Romancing...

Siesta...

Samba...

La bamba...

iAy caramba!

Disguises...

Disguises...

Surprises...

Surprises...

And pies of...

And pies of...

all sizes!

♪ Come on in,
come to the place ♪

♪ Where fun never
ends, you bet! ♪

♪ Come on in,
it's time to party ♪

♪ With Garfield and Friends! ♪

♪ Come on in,
it's time to party ♪

♪ With Garfield and Friends! ♪

♪ Garfield and Friends! ♪

[Garfield] My lips never move.

Wouldn't I make
a great ventriloquist?

♪♪

Now, while I'm busy being
the life of the party,

you sit in the corner and do
whatever it is cats do.

[Garfield] Yes, sir.

Hey, everybody! The life
of the party is here!

[Garfield] Did anybody here
order 2,000 peperoni pizzas?

Yes, I was born to boogie!

[crowd laughing]

I love the way onion dip
squishes between my toes.

So much better to dance
in than guacamole.

[laughter]

We love your cat!

Want him?

[beep]

Microwave lasagna.

Nature's most perfect food.

Too hot!

[gargling]

I'll let it cool down and
watch some TV first and...

Ahem. Someone in my chair.

Cough. Ahem.

Sounds of annoyance.

[Odie yelps]

[crash]

[Garfield] OK, that
was a rotten trick.

Mm-hmm.

How 'bout if neither
of us watches TV?

You got an idea for
something else to do?

Mm... yep.

Odie has an idea.

Mark this on your
calendars, folks.

[barking]

You want me to read you a story?

[barks] Yeah, yeah.

Any one, huh? OK.

The story of "Odielocks
and the 3 Cats."

Huh?

That's right, Odielocks.
Now, don't interrupt.

Once upon a time...

Boy, how do they come up
with these catchy openings?

Once upon a time, there was
a little girl named Odielocks.

Odielocks was very beautiful.

OK, so I lied.

She was as homely as
an empty refrigerator.

[Odielocks sighs]

But she was also very rich.

[Odielocks] Ahh!

But she wasn't very smart.

In fact, she went through
her entire family fortune

in six months.

Every time a bill came in,
she paid the zip code.

She spent her money
on many foolish things.

She went to Cinderella's
Town and opened a store

selling glass jogging shoes.

[glass shatters, woman screams]

Then she went
to Snow White's Town

and opened a Big Man's shop.

One day she took a
walk in the forest,

trying to figure out
what to invest her money in.

Now, meanwhile,
deep in the forest,

there was a cottage,

and in this cottage
lived three cats:

a papa cat, a mama cat,
and a baby cat.

The baby cat tasted
his lasagna and said...

[crash]

My lasagna's too hot.

So the papa cat said...

Let's go for a conga
line in the forest,

and by the time we get back,

our lasagna will be
cool enough to eat.

[conga plays]

So they went for a conga,

the baby cat, the mama cat,
and the great big papa cat.

A few minutes later,
along came Odielocks,

searching in vain for
the Wilshire off-ramp

to the San Diego Freeway.

She decided to stop
at the cat's cottage

and ask for directions.

There didn't seem to be
anyone home, so she went in.

She was tired
from all that walking,

so she decided
to sit down and rest.

She tried to think.

What could she spend
all her money on?

Maybe a chain of
ice rinks in Alaska.

She sat there
wondering what to do.

Then she noticed a control
on the chair arm.

She turned on papa cat's
automatic rocking chair rocker.

Quickly she turned it off.

Owwww!

[crash]

[Odielocks mumbling]

She decided to skip
the other chairs

and head straight for the food.

The first plate of lasagna had
too much ricotta cheese in it.

Ecch!

The second plate of lasagna
had the noodle too well done

and not enough sausage.

Ecch!

The third plate of
lasagna was just right.

Yum!

Mmm!

And so she
gobbled it all down.

It was very good lasagna.

And she ate every bit of it.

Then, of course,
she needed a nap.

After you eat lasagna,
you always have to sleep.

So she looked around
for a place to sleep...

First she tried
the papa cat's bed.

But it was too hard.

Next she tried
the mama cat's bed...

but this bed was too soft.

Next she tried
the baby cat's bed,

and it was just right.

[snoring]

Meanwhile, the three cats were
returning from their conga.

The papa cat said...

Someone's been
eating my lasagna.

And the mama cat said...

Someone's been
eating my lasagna.

And the baby cat said...

Someone's been eating my lasagna
and they ate it all up.

What a sad story.

And the papa cat said...

Someone's been
sleeping in my bed.

And the mama cat said...

Someone's been
sleeping in my bed.

[snoring]

And the baby cat said...

Someone's been
sleeping in my bed,

and there she is now!

[snoring]

She started to run
for her life.

[yelps]

But papa cat had previously
taken a course

in motel management.

He presented her with a
bill for room and board,

and she said...

I had a great time here.

How about if we open a hotel?

They had the know-how
and she had the money,

so they became partners.

And Odielocks finally wound up
with a successful business.

Later they wound up
suing each other,

but for now they lived
happily ever after.

Good story, Odie?

Odie?

[snoring]

You know, sometimes Odie
isn't as dumb as he looks.

[sighs]

Orson, come quick.
My carrot's disappeared.

What are you talk-
ing about, Booker?

It's right there.

As soon as the pig leaves,
we'll do it again.

[chuckles]

[tools clanging]

[Orson] Uh, what does the
book say to do next, Wade?

Uh, um, oh...

I've lost my place.

Uh, uh...

"Remove engine oil pan,
retaining bolts and gasket,

and drop the pan."

[crash]

I think you skipped
over something, Wade.

Oh, yeah, yeah.

"Make certain you drain
all oil from the engine first

or it will spill all over you."

Was that important?

Yes, it was important.

I'll have to take a shower!

And this is my only
set of coveralls,

so I'll have to wash
them before I go back

to fixing the tractor.

Oh, I...

I'm so sorry.

[Lanolin] What's Wade
over-reacting to now?

Gee, might have been
something I said, Lanolin.

Or maybe the way I said it.

I make those mistakes
all the time.

But you can't take things back
once you've blurted them out.

Yeah, it's too bad time machines
haven't been invented yet.

We could go back
and correct our mistakes

before they happen.

Gee, you must have fallen
in an oil waller.

You're a mess!

I'm headed for the shower
and then the laundromat.

Fortunately, washing machines
have been invented.

Uh-oh. This could take a while.

Must be laundry day
for everybody.

[Roy] I have one more
load of washing to do

so you'll have to wait your turn
like everybody else, pig-o.

[Sheldon] Booker and I only
have one small load, Orson.

You can put your stuff in
with ours to save time.

Thanks.

[Lanolin] Can't take things back
once you've blurted them out.

[Orson] Yeah, it's too
bad time machines

haven't been invented yet.

We could go back
and correct our mistakes

before they happened.

You've done it,
Professor Orson.

The first 150-horse-
power time machine

with a permanent press cycle.

It may be premature
for congratulations,

fellow scientists.

Yeah, we don't even
know if it works.

Well then, let's test it.

All right, we'll go back
in time a few minutes.

I think we've seen
enough of the past.

Let's head for the future.

♪ Here we go zoomin' faster
than the speed of light ♪

♪ Sit back and relax
and please enjoy your flight ♪

♪ I just can't wait to see
what lies up ahead ♪

♪ Into the future, to see
where the past has led ♪

♪ I don't know what we'll find,
I wonder what we'll see ♪

♪ In the future ♪

♪ It's a mystery in time ♪

♪ Don't know what it's
gonna be in the future ♪

♪ The future that's
in front of us ♪

♪ Will soon be in the past ♪

♪ We better take it easy,
this machine goes pretty fast ♪

♪ I'm not a gambling pig
but I'd be willing to bet ♪

♪ That the song I'm singing now
was never written yet ♪

♪ To get a first-hand glance
at how life is gonna be ♪

♪ In the future ♪

♪ Did what I did today ♪

♪ Split up our family
in the future? ♪

Farm looks deserted.

What happened?

[Sheldon] Maybe that news-
paper will give us a clue.

"Wade Duck set to blast off
in Mars rocket today,

never to come back."

Look, there he is!

Farewell, Earth.

You were a nice
planet, but...

since my one-time best
buddy Orson yelled at me,

I... I cannot bear
to trod this soil.

I have obviously
lost my best friend,

so I have...

I have no reason to stay.

Wade! Come back!

Wade, I didn't mean it!

You don't have to leave Earth.

Wade!

Ooh, what a grim future.

Professor Booker, tell me,

is there any way
to change this future?

Well, it is a probable
future, not a definite one.

I have to change everything
by talking things out with Wade

before it's too late.

What a strange daydream.

I know what I
have to do, though.

Do me a favor and wash
these coveralls for me, Roy.

I have to talk to Wade.

Orson, they're too oily.

Just add some more soap.
That'll get everything clean.

I have to stop Wade
from going to Mars!

Going to Mars?

[Sheldon] Orson's
being Orson again.

Oh, tremble,

oh, dejected me!

I've been looking all
over for you, Wade.

[Wade] Oh, gosh, Orson.

I'm sorry about the accident.
Don't yell at me again.

[Orson] No. I'm the one
who should apologize to you.

You were doing your best
to try to help me

by doing something
that was hard for you

and I didn't
acknowledge that.

Whew! And I thought
you were mad at me.

Oh, I feel a whole
lot better now.

I'm glad we cleared
the air about it.

Lanolin, you're right
about not being able

to take things back
once you've said them,

but you can make amends
before too much time passes

and hurt feelings
ruin a friendship.

Yeah, yeah, yeah,
that's terrific, Orson.

But do you notice our weather

getting a little, uh, soapy?

Oh, Orson, we have a problemo.

[Orson] Oh, no!

I overloaded
the washing machine.

We have to clean it up!

[both] We?

Well... Booker and
Sheldon will help me.

-[Booker] Not me.
-[Sheldon] Not me either.

I wish I had
a time machine

so I could go back
and put in less soap.

Wade! You came
to help me out!

Uh-huh, yeah, yeah.

I figured, Orson is
my true-blue pal

and that's what pals
are for,

to help one another.

Wade, that's
really nice.

Also, my best socks
are in there somewhere.

[Orson] Oh.

[Garfield] And now, just because
you didn't drink all your milk,

we present
"Screaming with Binky."

Today Binky's yelling
won't bother me.

I have earplugs.

See? It's working.

Garfield, your dinner's ready.

I couldn't hear him so
he couldn't annoy me.

If you don't come now,
I'm gonna give it to Odie.

These are great earplugs.

OK, have it your
way. No dinner!

Yep, I really outsmarted
that clown this time.

Boy, I wonder when Jon will
have my dinner ready.

-[Jon] Garfield, come
back here with that.

I said you could
have a light snack!

[Garfield] This is
a light snack.

A big snack includes soup.

[gasp]

Say, wasn't there
a ham in there?

Help me, Obi-Wan Kenobi.
You are my only hope.

Garfield, are you all right?

It's all right.
Nothing broken.

[gasps]

My bed!

It's OK, Garfield. We'll
get you another one.

After all the time
we've spent together.

We had such good times.

Garfield, it's just wood!

[Garfield] You were such
a loyal friend, old bed.

When I think of the good
times we shared together,

the holidays, Christmas.

New Year's.

Easter.

Even my birthday.

My dear friend.

Garfield, didn't you hear me?

I'm going to buy you
a brand-new bed.

It's just wood.
Let's go shopping.

I want something
soft but firm,

fluffy, but without
too much body...

We'll drive over to the
department store in the mall.

[Garfield] A mattress
with support,

but something
that isn't confining.

♪ Oh, when I go to a store ♪

♪ There's a whole world
of new things to try ♪

[Garfield] ♪ On each
and every floor ♪

♪ There are goodies
in ample supply ♪

[both] ♪ Hello, charge
card, money in the bank ♪

♪ Bye-bye! ♪

♪ If I could just get thinner,
I would get a brand-new suit ♪

♪ And tie, whoo! ♪

[Garfield] ♪ The stove
can cook my dinner ♪

♪ Or a lunch in the
wink of an eye ♪

Yeah!

[both] ♪ Hello, charge card ♪

♪ Money in the bank, bye-bye! ♪

♪ Now, wait a minute, cousin,
you need a comfy place ♪

♪ To rest your head ♪

[Garfield] ♪ Well, I'd
settle for a dozen ♪

♪ Of these funky freezers
full of food instead ♪

[both] ♪ Hello, charge card ♪

♪ Garfield needs
a brand-new bed ♪

Yeah!

They must have pet
beds here somewhere.

[Garfield] A color
that's restful

and yet, at the same time,
matches my dynamic personality.

May I help you, sir?

Yes, we'd like to see
something in a pet bed.

Yeah, we'd like to see me
in a pet bed. Your best one.

Well, here. Try
this one on for size.

Wait a minute, I
need a running start.

On your mark,
ready, set... sleep!

[snoring]

Garfield has instant

Not comfy.

Don't worry, we have
lots of different models.

[Garfield] Nope. Not comfy.

[blows raspberry]

Not comfy either.

This couldn't be
any less comfortable.

I was wrong.

This is less comfortable.

How about this?
The cat waterbed.

It's worth a try.

Whoa! Yo!
Get me an anchor!

I don't think this
is such a good--

Oh, it just takes some
getting used to, see?

[Garfield] Hey, this isn't bad.

Say, I guess it
isn't a good idea

to claw a waterbed, is it?

I don't like waterbeds.

Jon?

Hmm.

I have a hunch you don't
like waterbeds either.

[dryer blowing]

I need sleep.

Do you have any other pet beds?

Well, we have
this one new model.

It's the Catnap VII!

It comes with vibrating
paws massage action,

lasagna snack dispenser,
and get this,

a snooze alarm that can
be set for any month!

[Garfield sobbing]

Garfield, what's wrong?
Why are you crying?

It's...

It's the most
beautiful thing

I've ever seen
in my life.

How much
is this bed?

I have the price
tag right here.

[gasp] Aaaah!

That's the price?

Plus tax, of course.

[gasp] Aaaah!

[Garfield]
Please.

Pretty please with
mozzarella on top?

I haven't asked you for
anything for hours now.

Bed of my dreams.

[Jon] All right,
Garfield, OK.

I'll take it.

I hope you appreciate how
much this new pet bed costs.

[yawns] I do.

But remember, I'm a
connoisseur of sleeping.

I don't just sleep anywhere.

I know, you don't
just sleep anywhere.

Well, now you have
a terrific bed,

and it had better be
terrific for what it costs.

It...
[snoring]

But I just spent...

But I... But you couldn't...

just anywhere sleep...

Uh...
[snoring]

[bed squeaking,
Jon groaning]

Well, I'm not going
to let it go to waste.

[snoring]

[Garfield] I should
change my ways.

From now on, I'm gonna be
a lot more polite to Odie.

[Odie cries out]
[crash!]

Excuse me.

There. Now, wasn't that
a lot more polite?

[theme song plays]

[background chatter, laughter]

Whoo!