01x02 - Ice Breakers // You're So Vain

[bunniefuu]

♪ My name is Angela

♪ Hey, hello!

♪ Welcome to my very own show ♪

♪ I'll introduce my friends to you ♪

Oh no! It's Ninnypoo!

♪ Shoobee-doobee-doo wap-waa.

♪ My name is Angela

♪ And you are not

♪ Nanette Manoir is a stuck up jerk face snot ♪

And now to today's story, starring me.

And NOT starring Nannete Manoir.

Today I'm going to my first ice skating class ever!

My dad says in Alaska, Land of the Midnight Sun,

kids learn to skate before they can walk!

Let'er rip, Angel-wings.

Yep, the ICEY BLAST-A-WAY does it again.

And on account of it's so good on ice,

me and my dad get to bring Johnny,

Gina and Gordy, who we are all going to take ice skating.

Go get 'em, Gorderino!

Aaand, don't break too many hearts.

See ya, Dad!

I brought you some Fishy Fish, Gina.

Fishy Fish candies are our favorite!

Except when they're hard like rocks on account of

they got frozen when Gordy was waiting outside

in the freezing cold.

So now we are there.

And all of us can hardly wait to put our skates on.

Oh no!!

Mrs. Brinks? What's she doing here? This isn't our school!

You don't think she's going to be our ice skating

teacher do you?

No way, it's Saturday.

Teachers can't teach on Saturdays.

It's against Union regulations unless she's a scab.

Now be sure you're waiting by the curb at exactly

one-fifteen!

Yes, dear.

Whew!

She was just dropping off Mr. Brinks!

You mean, he's going to be our skating teacher?

That's right, kids.

Guess it's good he's dressed for the ice.

I'm just glad he's wearing clothes at all.

[LAUGH]

Even my Dad knows about Mr. and Mrs. Brinks -

that we think they're weekend nudists who like to spend

their weekends nude.

Whaa!

Okay, Angela's here, so I'll just put a little check in

this box next to your name.

And Gina's here, check.

And Gordy's also here, so that's another little check

And Johnny's here, cheeeck Hmmm,

where's Nanette Manoir?

Nanette Man-oyer?!

Over here! I'm over here!

I'm simply waiting for our gardener to clear a path for me

it's so hard keeping them busy in winter -

and I certainly don't want to get any snow on my new

aprésskate boots!

Faster please, Alfredo.

It's not like you're being paid by the hour.

What's she doing at OUR ice skating class?

And besides I thought the cold wasn't good for her

sensitive un-French skin!

Ooooo, those boots are so next year.

They're more than just next year, Gordy Rhinehart.

They're pure ermine-lined aprésskate boots!

Well, you're quite the little Lipinski, Nanette.

We're lucky to have you in our class.

Why thank you, Mr. Brinks.

I'm lucky to be here.

You're lucky I don't throw up.

[LAUGHS]

So let's begin then.

Please proceed with the greatest caution.

We don't want any strains, sprains or other nasty pains.

Follow me.

Step, Step, Glide.

Step, Step, Glide.

Easy now, easy.

Look at me, Mister Brinks?

I can do it backwards.

Step, step, glide.

Very nice, Nanette.

But remember, a slow skater is a safe skater.

But I don't want to go slow!

Yes Nanette, whatever you say.

Hey, wasn't this suppose to be a beginner's class?

Yeah, Nanette!

For someone who has never been in one before!

But you see, I've never been in a PUBLIC skating class,

Angela Anaconda.

I've only had private lessons - a la carte!

Okay kids, let's try again.

Remember, heads up, arms out aaaand - step, step, GLIDE!

Hey look! I'm I'm gliding!

I'M GLIDING!

Good, Gordy!

When are we gonna learn the slap shot?

Look at me NOW!

I'm REALLY skating!

Maybe if she does that long enough she'll throw up.

Maybe if she does that fast enough she'll EXPLODE!

Oh my!

Mr. Brinks: Aren't you the bee's naked knees!

Impressive.

Not regulation, but very impressive.

Marvelous, Nanette!

Look Angela, look Gina!

See how she does it?

You mean, see how she ruins our class?

I like to glide!

Whoa-oa whoa.

We better learn to skate soon, Gina Lash.

My ankles are tired!

Your ankles and my butt!

Gordie: I like to glide! Whoa.

This goalie mask smells kind of funny.

When do I get to go home?

Think Gordy's got any more Fishy Fish?

Whoa-oa.

Bonjour, John.

Care to skate with a REAL skater?

Magnificent, wonderful!

Ta da!

Woaaaaahhh!

Oh, my!

John! "Ta-da" means "the end"!

Come back here this instant!

WAAAATTTCHH OOOOUUUTTT!!!

Yeeeeoooouuuch!

So now, thanks to Ninnie-Poo and her un- beginner ice

skating, my broken arm is broken.

Geez, Angie-pants, didn't they teach you how to fall?

Yeah, maybe you need lessons on how to take skating lessons.

Good one.

[LAUGH]

But the good thing is I got a DAY-GLO cast and I know

all of my friends at school are gonna want to sign it.

Big 'C' little 'a'...

Please God, if it be your will, make Candy May write faster

so I may get my turn.

Day-Glo green??

She CHOSE Day-Glo green??

And it glows in the dark, too!

How gauche!

Excuse me, Mrs. Brinks, but since it's taking Candy May

such a long time to sign Angela Anaconda's cast,

perhaps we need an example of proper signature form.

And since I study calligraphy with the famous

French calligrapher Pierre La Plume,

I would be more than happy to volunteer.

Why thank you, Nanette dear.

How very generous of you to share your refined skills

with the class.

Excusez-moi.

Which is French for "out of my way."

WHAT?! No, no wait- !

Like, VOI-LA!

Awww. [bell rings]

Well, well. It's the "Nanette-Scapades"!

Starring Gliding Gordy and YOU, Ninnie Poo.

Don't you look divine, Ninkie-Wink.

The Bees Naked Knees, Little Nin.

Too bad Gordy Rhinehart only knows one move.

I like to gliiiiide!

That's right, Gordy.

And I guess Nanette likes TO FLY!

Watch out, Little Nin.

That ice sure is slippery.

Perhaps my dad's Ice-B-Gone is just what you need!

Don't look now, Niminy Piminy,

but the salt just melted a giant hole right through the ice!

"Save me, save me!

These waters are filled with millions of Fishy Fish who

like to bite my sensitive skin!",

you will tell me.

Bye-bye, Nanook of the North.

Have a nice trip to the Land of the Midnight Sun.

Oh no!

The Eskimo babies have built an igloo out of you!

Or should I say- UG-LOO, Ninnie-Poo?

Never fear, my fake French friend,

I will gladly come to your rescue.

But goodness, you're still frozen like a hockey puck.

In fact, Johnny Abatti thinks you ARE one,

my prissy polar pal.

Help me, help me, Oh Great One Angela Anaconda,

who's skating ability would be far superior to mine if I

hadn't so rudely interrupted your beginner's class and

broken your arm,"you will tell me.

Don't worry your pretty little frozen head.

It's Angela to the rescue, Nanette!

Did someone say, na-NET?

Angela ONE Nincompoop- NOTHING!

An-ge-la! An-ge-la!

An-ge-la!

Angela! Angela!

Hey Angela!

We're gonna go shovel sidewalks for the shut-ins, wanna come?

Whew!

Next time I do charity work I'm getting paid for it!

NOOOOOOOO!!!!

I'm ever so sorry our deluxe -speed snow blower just

happened to dust some snow on the sidewalk you've been

slaving over for the last three hours.

I'd gladly offer to help if I weren't wearing my pure

ermine-lined aprés skating boots,

which would be ruined if just a speck of snow were to

touch them.

So if you'll excuse me, I'll just go drink some imported

hot chocolate in front of our roaring fireplace!

Bon chance!

My boots, Alfredo.

Are you thinking what I'm thinking,

Angela Anaconda?

If you're thinking what I'm thinking.

A-hem.

Good thing those boots are so next year,

Gordy Reinhart, 'cuz I don't think Ninnie Poo's going to

see them 'til Spring.

[laughing]

So what I'd like to know is, who ever thought of RHYMING

things instead of just saying it?

Like, "Gina Lash, smartest in CLASS."

Or, "Nanette Manoir, what a...skunk you are...

Angela, do I have everyone's complete attention?

As I was saying, the poems you compose should be about

someone you truly admire.

Someone you look up to,

someone who's had a profound influence on your life,

someone you wish you could be more like.

Perhaps it's someone you learn from every day

of the school year.

Mrs. Brinks?

Mrs. Brinks: Yes, Nanette dear?

Is it permissible to include FRENCH words if you happen

to know them?

That would betrés bien, Nanette Manoir.

Poems are due tomorrow morning.

So if there are no further questions-

Yes, Candy May, do you have a question?

What's a "poem" again?

Ahhh! [bell rings]

Mrs. Brinks? If it's not too much trouble,

I was hoping you'd let me stay and wipe down the

chalkboard for you.

Why thank you, Nanette.

Aren't you the thoughtful one.

EWWW!

All of us are excited about who we are picking -

especially me because I know I have picked

the best one of all.

I doubt it, Angela Anaconda.

I'm picking "Tiny Dottie," the snack food czar.

She's a successful entrepreneur and she makes a

darn good creme cake.

Just think of the research I'll get to do.

Oooh.

Johnny Abatti's going to write about his Uncle Nicky...

He's the best.

He hardly ever went to school,

and he never goes to work, and talk about

a snazzy dresser.

He drives real fast too!

Of course he does.

He is always being chased by the police.

But for who I am going to pick,

I tell Gina and Johnny that they are going to have to guess.

Hey, hey, hey! Outa my way, punks, Huh?!?

Sorry Uncle Nicky!

I know - it's your Grandma Lou Anaconda who lives in

Everglade City, Florida.

Grandma Lou IS pretty cool...

but you still didn't guess it.

Well who is it?

Sorry Johnny and Gina, but it looks like you're just

going to have to wait, on account of I'm not telling you.

It's a surprise.

See you later when you see me!

Mmm...

Chocolate chips.

My favourite.

Mom: Hey, not 'til you've washed those hands, you.

My hands aren't even dirty!

I don't want to wash them.

Good one, King.

Ha. Nice try.

Now march.

Want to hear about my assignment we got today, King?

We have to write a poem about someone we admire

enough to write a poem about and my pick is the best!

It's someone who works really hard...

Someone who helps me every day...

Someone who looks out for everyone in my family.

And when I grow up, I want to be just like her.

Can you guess who it is?

You're right. It's you, girl!

Well, except for the drinking from the toilet thing. Ick.

Sister Perpetua, devout nun that I admire

Was tarred and feathered and thrown on a pyre.

Sister Perpetua, to protest this senseless violence

Took a vow of perpetual silence.

And so in honor of this nun

I shall stop speaking when I am done.

Umm, thank you, Josephine, for that very

colourful presentation.

Who'd like to go next?

Nanette?

And may I say, that's a lovely new frock.

Merci beaucoup, Mrs. Brinks.

It's a Paris original in honor of the person I have

chosen for my poem- Marie Antoinette,

a famous Queen of France.

Ooooh!

But seeing as I'd planned to use the recess period to

perfect the delivery of my lengthy poem about ROYALTY,

perhaps Angela, who undoubtedly has written

something substantially shorter,

should go first.

How considerate of you, Nanette.

But then you always are.

All right then...

Angela Anaconda?

First I just want to say that even if some kids

picked someone famous to write about...

I decided to write about someone I truly admire.

Someone I learn from every day.

Okay, here goes.

You have perfect manners, You never drool.

You even help me to get through school.

You're playful and friendly. You're open and brave.

It's you who teaches me how to behave.

In the garden beds, where you usually go,

It seems to help the flowers grow.

Even your little whiskers are neat.

And the fuzzy fur upon your feet.

Your hair is so beautiful, you don't need to wear clothes.

You're devoted and loyal, and I like your cold, wet nose.

You're the very best role model I've ever met.

It is I who should be your pet.

The end.

Well, Miss Anaconda!

I'm sure you could have knocked me down

with a feather.

I had no idea you felt this way about me!

Um, Mrs. Brinks, I think there's been a mistake

on account of, I didn't-

Nonsense. Don't be modest.

You have the makings of the next Emily Dickinson.

Don't worry, Nanette.

I'm sure your poem is much better than hers.

Yes, Angela's poem is so un-ROYAL.

[bell rings]

Angela - wait.

Won't you stay in from recess and write your lovely

poem on the blackboard for the whole school

to see and delight in.

Your Mrs. Brinks would like that.

But I'm the one with the best penmanship, Mrs. Brinks!

And don't you think you should wait in case there's

an even better poem AFTER recess?

I think Nanette's got a point.

Me too, I really think she has a point even more.

Yes, yes. Run along.

Musn't miss your recess.

Well at least I'm not a brown-noser like

Angela Anaconda.

"Your beautiful hair, your lovely gaze.

Since I wrote this poem, I'm gonna get straight 'A's." Oooh.

Uh, this stinks.

What was that, Angela dear?

I said, "Hey, Mrs. Brinks."

Mrs. Brinks?

Since when did you start liking her?

I don't! It wasn't!

She just thinks so!

She is not the only one Angela Anaconda.

Come on, Gina and Johnny.

I know I wouldn't write about Mrs. Brinks!

I wrote about KING!

Martin Luther?

Elvis?

No, not THE king... my DOG King.

Oh sure, Angela.

Then how do you explain that thing about

the "cold, wet nose"?

Hey! Oh yeah...ha, ha.

I knew I should have left in that part about

"drinking from the toilet."

Angela Anaconda, you are really in a pickle.

What are you gonna do?

I don't know...

I tried to tell Mrs. Brinks but she wouldn't-

Angela! Under no condition can you ever let Mrs. Brinks

know the truth.

It would be academic suicide!

I know, but what am I --

Look, it's Angela Ana-Buttkisser.

You know Angela, I was going to write about Mrs. Brinks,

but I didn't want everyone to hate me for being a

"pomme- de-terre", which is French for "apple polisher,

in case you didn't know.

But Angela didn't write that poem about Mrs. Brinks.

She wrote it about her dog! Oops.

Oh she did, did she?

Excuse me, Mrs. Brinks.

Yes, Nanette?

Well, I was thinking...

about Angela's lovely poem.

It's so well written -- maybe you should submit it

to the literary journal of the American Veterinary Society,

seeing as Angela wrote it about her dog!

Her dog?

And it's not even a pure-bred dog like my

Oo-La-La, either.

Mrs. Brinks: Angela...

Mrs. Brinks, I tried to tell you but-

[class laughs]

SILENCE!

Never in my illustrious career as an educator

of young minds, have I been quite so disappointed,

Miss Anaconda.

Erase this abomination at once!

Now outside!

And clap those erasers 'til there's not a trace of

offending chalk that was your poem left in them!

Nanette, maybe you'd like to write YOUR poem

on the board.

I'd be honored, Mrs. Brinks.

Merci, from you to ME.

Merci beaucoup, from me to YOU.

Just you wait, Nin-com Ninny-Poo!

One of these days I'm gonna ERASE YOU!

Oh little Nin, I must proclaim

Your poem about that Queen was lame.

And you, Mrs. Brinks, with your head so big.

Your nose is running, and your hair is a wig!

Come Ninny and Brinksy to land in Paree

Where my dog King and me make all the rules

to which you must agree.

But dearest of teachers and your favorite pet

Please don't you worry and, geez, don't you fret...

For here is Gina come to serve

You little cakes you don't deserve.

Oh naughty, nonnie, prissy miss and Marie Antoi-Brinks

whose butt you kiss.

Let's see how you cackle when canine King tackles

The difficult chore You insufferable bores

Of sentencing you- To a SWIRLIE for two!

So au revoir Mrs. Brinks, and au revoir Ninnie-nerd

Josephine can still save you if she just says the word.

"We beg you for mercy", you'll pathetically cry.

"Oh greatest of Queens, ten times smarter than I."

"But Angela save us!", you'll snivel and snort.

Don't be outrageous, I'll kindly retort.

Scrub little Ninnie, you too Mrs. Brinks

The King can't have germs In the waters she drinks.

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!

Angela! Snap out of it!

Mrs. Brinks sent me out to get you,

but look at you now - you're all white.

You look like my dog.

So sorry, Nanette, I was lost in a FOG.

Whatever. Let's get back inside before the sun damages

my fine silk attire.

After you, Ninnie-Poo...

who I've always ADMIRED.

[laughs]

♪