01x05 - Who's Sari Now // Saving Private Gordy

[bunniefuu]

♪ My name is Angela

♪ Hey, hello!

♪ Welcome to my very own show ♪

♪ I'll introduce my friends to you ♪

Oh no! It's Ninnypoo!

♪ Shoobee-doobee-doo wap-waa.

♪ My name is Angela

♪ And you are not

♪ Nanette Manoir is a stuck up jerk face snot ♪

And now to today's story, starring me.

And NOT starring Nannete Manoir.

Today is not just any day.

Our class is being visited by his Greatest Majesty.

Prince Abdul Caliph Jabala Saladin.

The richest boy in the whole world!

Welcome Prince Abdul to our humble halls of learning.

Well, perhaps his Majesty can tell us a bit about the

exotic land from which he comes.

May I remind you, Mrs. Brinks,

that YOU are the teacher here.

I did not come to do your lowly job FOR you!

And not only is he the richest Prince in the world,

he is also the rudest!

On second thought, seeing as the Prince is only here for

one day, perhaps he would prefer a guided tour of the

REST of our illustrious school OUTSIDE of this

tiny classroom.

Oh, whichever will bore me the least.

Nanette: Mrs. Brinks?

Although I'd hate to miss your fascinating liaison,

which is French for 'lesson',

perhaps I could be of service escorting

His Majesty.

Such hair, like spools of golden thread!

That's very considerate of you, dear, as always.

But I'm afraid SOME people need a lesson in diplomacy!

Let's draw straws, shall we?

Whoever gets the longest one will be the Prince's special

guide for the day!

Hey, Johnny!

Trade you for my salami and pickle sandwich I brought

for lunch.

I don't see no pickles.

Hey, this salami's baloney!

And your guide for the day Your Majesty, will be-

Angela Anaconda.

THAT'S ME! THAT'S ME! THAT'S ME! THAT'S ME! THAT'S ME!

Mrs. Brinks: Yes, Johnny Abatti?

It's not fair!

Angela's got baloney.

Well, um...

[bell rings]

And so, our tour begins!

Mrs. Brinks: No need to hurry back, either of you!

Hair like spools of golden thread.

AHEM!

As I was saying, this hallway connects us

to the most important rooms of the school.

The gym, and the lunch room.

Tell me, does SHE walk these halls?

And THESE are the lockers where we keep our stuff.

Where is HER locker?

I will give you a clue.

What is her name?

We call her Little Nin- which is short for

Ninnie-Wart.

Or Nincompoopula or Ninn-for-nothing if you like.

Ahh, even her name is like a precious jewel.

Little Nin, Little Nin.

Sorry Prince, but I'm afraid we can't talk about her

anymore on account of she's not part of the tour.

This is where we have our shows and spectaculars.

It smells like feet but if you sing really loud,

your voice echoes.

♪ Little Nin, Little Nin! Where do I begin? ♪

♪ Hair like spools of golden thread. ♪

And brains like moldy loaves of bread.

Usually I bring my lunch, but today I gave it to

Johnny Abatti, and all this touring has made me hungry.

I do not eat the food of dogs!

Suit yourself, but it's probably the last chance

you'll get to eat today.

Saladom! Saladinni! Salamom!

On second thought, I do not eat the food of dogs, either.

It's baloney Angela!

Is that meat from a sacred animal?

I dunno. Where are baloneys from?

It's a mystery meat.

One of a genre of grounded up animal parts molded

together to resemble foodstuffs.

The hot dog is a good example.

Baloney is a meat?

Ha. I thought it was a flavour.

More duck a l'orange, girls?

Spools like golden threads.

So superior. So French!

So what.

Saldinni! Salamom!

But, but --

[GIGGLES]

So now, thanks to Ninnie-Poo's hair of golden baloney,

I am the leader but His Royal Low-ness

does not want to follow.

Angela, you tricked me!

Not now, Johnny Abatti.

Can't you see I'm busy?

Saladom! Saladinni! Salamom!

Hey! The tour's not over!

This is our playground where we get to exercise and

breathe in a bunch of healthy fresh air.

Angela, I want my sandwich!

Salami, not baloney.

And pickles, not no pickles!

I said NOT NOW, Johnny Abatti!

Yes John, we're busy with far more important things

than your silly salami sandwich.

Oh yeah?

Like what?

Like me!

Baloney! Baloney! Salami!

I warn you, I am a MASTER of the seven arts of

self-defense!

Well, I'm the undefeated Tapwater Springs Junior

Wrestling Champion.

You wrestled a stray kitten from an alley.

And won!

Saladam! Saladinni!

Good riddance to bad rubbish. Ha haa!

Rubbish?! How dare you insult my pal!

Enough of these fisticuffs!

Angela Anaconda, I should have known you would guide

the Prince straight into juvenile delinquency!

As for you, your Majesty, I am quite surprised!

Now you both can spend the rest of recess on the bench

thinking about your barbaric behavior!

Hmmm, all that bowing and lifting must do wonders

for your pecs.

I have been wrong all this time!

Your strength, your anger.

YOU are the superior one!

Huh?

Ah, fiery Angela, you must be mine!

I will give you anything you want!

Marry me, and you will be the richest girl in the world!

The richest girl in the world??

The richest girl in the world??

So now I am the richest girl in the world!

And everyone wants to be nice to me,

even my formerly un-nice brothers.

"Please, please, Oh Princess Angela who's brain is bigger

than our two gigantic heads put together,"

my dimwit brothers will tell me.

"Please let us serve you."

If you insist, I will tell them.

What is this!?!

A princess cannot degrade herself by watching TV!

Salamander! Sarsaparilla! Sopapilla!

OK, so maybe I won't be watching as much TV.

But I'll still get to wear the finest clothes.

Made from spools of golden thread.

Soda pop! Sammy Davis! Salt n' Pepper!

A princess must be properly dressed- like this!

Okaaaaay, so maybe these clothes aren't what I'm used to.

But in my country, it will be law that kids drive cars,

but adults must walk!

Hey, Angela! Wanna bumper car ride?

No! A princess must be carried!

Saki Soda! Salmonella! Super Salad!

Great! I won't get to drive around in bumper cars either!

But I will still be able to get free ice cream cones

from my loyal friend Gina Lash,

who I will make Minister of all things icy and creamy!

Don't tell me I can't even eat an ice cream cone from

my best friend Gina Lash?!

Of course not!

A princess must only eat food fit for a princess!

Like caviar!

Cerebellum! Sarasota! Sock it to 'em!

Caviar?

But that's fish eggs!

And you must eat it five times a day!

Eww!

Blech!

Blah! Blech! Bleaaa!

Does she always act in this crazy fashion?

Yep. And she'll trick you into eating baloney too.

Perhaps I was a bit hasty with my proposal

of marriage.

Wouldn't want to pollute the genie pool, so to speak.

What? She's not good enough for you?

Saladam! Saladinni! Sayonara!

So Long!

Forget about it, Johnny.

I wouldn't marry him if he were Prince of the whole

Solar System!

Yeah, that goes double for me!

Will I ever see you again, Your Highness?

Ah! Your spools of golden threads are now knots

of yellow dreds!

Prince Abdul Caliph Jabala Saladin!

I DID NOT give you permission to leave the bench!

Well, like his Lowly Hiney said:

'Good Riddance to bad rubbish'.

You know, Angela Anaconda, you still owe me a salami

and pickle sandwich.

What do I look like, Johnny Abatti --

the richest girl in the world?!

When Mrs. Brinks taught us we'r all related to cave men,

I don't think she knew how related I still am.

Ooh Ooh Ooh-Ooh Ahh!

And on account of they're evolved just enough to play

a sport where you have to wear a helmet,

even if your head is harder than one.

Ooh Ooh Ooh Ooh-Ooh Ahh!

Today me and my dad are taking them to football practice.

Hey, watch it you Neanderthals!

Ooh Ooh Ooh-Ooh Ahhhhhhhhh!

[LAUGH]

Comin' through, watergirl.

Make way.

Most people love baseball season's bright colors,

but I prefer football's autumnal palette.

I'm not sure that the team even knows what a palette is, Gordy.

Ooh Ooh Ooh Ooh-Ooh!

Ahhhhh!!!

All right, grunts, water break!

Hydrate! Hydrate! Hydrate!

Uh, Coach, we got a fourth and ten situation over here.

What is it, boy?

Looks like there's weeds or somethin' in the water.

[SNICKER]

Gordy!

Did you put weeds in the team's water?!

Absolutely not, Dad.

They're perennials!

Except I'm afraid the daffodils refuse to stay

in the shape of a little football.

A football??

[SNICKER]

Well, I guess there's really nothing I can say,

except, boys, this is the finest example of team

spirit I've seen since Lombardi led his troops to

victory in the Blizzard Bowl of '.

Gordy's efforts here to go that extra mile is exactly

the type of behavior I've been telling you numskulls about!

I never knew you felt so passionately about the game,

son, but I'm going to make it up to you now by allowing

a coupla lucky players to get the opportunity

of a lifetime!

The chance to teach my Gordy how to play football!!

Gordy, play football?

I need two volunteers.

Who's ever up for the challenge,

be a man and take one BIG step forward.

Derek and Mark Anaconda! Good men!

What? Huh?

Gordy play football with my brothers?!

That's right.

Now all of you jelly donuts get back out there and show

me that Derek and Mark spirit!

GO, GO, GO GOOOO!

Ooh Ooh Ooh-Ooh --

Hey! Are you guys listening to me?!

Gordy isn't like you and your kind.

He likes fondue and paper folding.

[LAUGH]

Good one! [LAUGH]

Gordy bruises like a grape.

You guys chew aluminum.

[doorbell rings]

Hi, Angela!

I brought my own special playthings.

A little origami to brighten your day?

Gordy, there's something I have to tell you.

Gina Lash is coming over with love in her magnificent heart?

No, it's about my brothers.

Things could get messy.

But Angela, origami is one of the least messy hobbies

you can enjoy.

No glue.

I mean REALLY messy!

Football messy!

CAVEMEN MESSY!

Never fear, I came prepared.

Gorderino! Ready to rumble?

I don't know the steps, but sure, why not!

Well, as Coach Rhinehart says,

this is where we separate the men from the boys -

or at least where we try to separate Gordy from being

k*lled by my brothers.

Why is papa gnome over there?

He should be with his family there.

Go deep, Gordy.

I'll toss you a b*mb.

And sister and brother gnome need to be here-

No, wait.

[GASP]

Yes, finally!

One big happy family.

Okay, now, who's ready to play?

Not me.

For such a little baby, you've got such full body

and that Gina Lash sheen.

Comin at ya, Gorderino!

Humph! Oh boy.

Here we go again.

Don't you worry, Gordy.

Gordy: Good advice, Angela.

If the hairstylist worries, then the client only suffers.

Whooa!

Now how does that look, big sister?

Grrrr.

Consider the source.

[GASPS]

NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!

Tra-LA, Tra-LAY!

It's May, it's May!

Hiya, Angela.

Isn't it great to be alive?

Water!

Must have water.

I'm not surprised.

You've been frolicking in the sun for hours!

Sorry, Gordy ol' pal, I tried to warn you.

Fare-thee-well, Private Gordy,

I will say as I salute.

I'll think of you when the spring flowers return.

Flowers?!

AAH-CHOO!!

And when we gather to say our good-byes to Tapwater Springs

favorite fair-haired asthmatic boy,

Gordy Rhinehart.

I will give the speech and everyone will cry,

even Gina Lash.

Gordy was a sweet child, until my two dumb brothers

tackled him and gave him that fatal wedgie.

Wedgie?!

O-oh!

[SNICKER]

Gordy had style, I will tell them.

Flowers by Gordy.

Gordy had flair.

Hair by Gordy.

Gordy was crafty.

Needlepoint by Gordy.

And then Gordy's Dad the Coach will want to say

a speech too.

I'll never forget Gordy's flower arrangements,

his hibiscus helmets inspired us to victory back

in the pudding bowl of '.

[SOBBING]

And so will Gina Lash, who I am sure will give an

emotionally devastating speech.

The thing I'll miss most about Gordy are those store

bought pre-packaged lunches he used to bring to school.

I especially like the 'Burrito Bombers'.

Ooh Ooh Ooh-Ooh Ooh-Ooh Ahh.

Ooh Ooh Ooh-Ooh Ooh-Ooh Ahh.

Thank you very much for those most uninspiring

words, I will say to the Neanderthals whose fault it

was in the first place.

And so, even though Gordy can never be replaced,

my parents and I have decided to give Mark and

Derek to Coach Rhinehart in hope that what they lack

in brains, they will make up for in bulk.

And that, my friends, is the very happy ending to our

sad, sad story.

[GASPS] Gordy!

What have they done to you?

Mark: Hey, how long do we cook 'em?

Oh no! They're eating Gordy!

STOP! DON'T DO IT!

Don't eat him, you eaters!

SSSHHH!!!

Keep your voice down, Angela.

Or you'll collapse our soufflé.

Your SOUFFLE?!

SHHHH!

You guys are teaching Gordy to make a soufflé?

[LAUGH]

I wish.

Gordy's the soufflé master here.

They were starving after that workout,

so I thought a little chocolate was in order.

There's nothing like the smell of chocolate after a rumble.

It's, uh, What is it again?

Delightful.

Derek: Delightful, that's right.

Did you just say 'delightful'?

[DOORBELL RINGS]

Angela: Coach Rhinehart!

Hello, Angela.

Grunts.

How's the ol' pigskin- Wait a minute.

What's going on here?

Uh, hey coach.

We were just sort of making a chocolate soufflé?

A CHOCOLATE soufflé?!

Gordy, how many times do I have to tell you?

My favourite is strawberry!

Coach: Looks like I'm gonna have to lead some strawberry

soufflé drills.

Okay, boys, we're going long on Vitamin C.

Ooh Ooh Ooh-Ooh Aah!

Now this is what I call team work.

Hmm. Must be a guy thing!