02x06 - A 'Tween Halloween/Mash into Me

[bunniefuu]

[THEME SONG PLAYING]

Who's that girl? What's her name?
Is she cool? Is she lame?

Oh, you're talking about what's her name

-Pepper Ann
-Pepper Ann

Is she lame? Is she cool?
Is she breaking every rule?

Is she anybody's fool?

-Pepper Ann
-Pepper Ann

Pepper Ann, Pepper Ann
Marching in her own parade

Pepper Ann, she's like one in a million

Pepper Ann, Pepper Ann
Much too cool for seventh grade

Catch her if you can, Pepper Ann

BOY 1: Who?

GIRL 1:
Is that that girl from gym class?

BOY 2: No, that's me.

GIRL 1: Oh.

GIRL 2: Who is she and why
does she have her own song?

BOY 3: Did someone take my lunch?

Pepper Ann, Pepper Ann
Marching in her own parade

Pepper Ann, she's like one in a million

Pepper Ann, Pepper Ann
Much too cool for seventh grade

No one's cooler than Pepper Ann
She's her own biggest fan, Pepper Ann

Look! A French poodle.

-Catch her if you can, Pepper Ann
-[SPEAKS FRENCH]

MILO: Nice bone-chilling macabre,
Halloweirdo.

-You ready?
-In a sec.

I'm having a minor... [GRUNTS]
...pumpkin problem.

I know what I'm going as this year.
I'm picturing FrankenFuzzy.

Fuzzy? [CHUCKLES] Milo, you've been
the Fuzzed One three 'weens running.

Well, PA, deep down inside...
I wanna be Fuzzy.

Who doesn't? But this is Halloween!
It's a time to be bold,

to be daring, to be different!

I do like different.

-Hey, Rash, come here!
-My name is Crash.

Hold this a sec, will ya, Whiplash?

-But...
-We'll be right back!

Twice Loved Stuff.
I've heard of this place in myth!

I never dreamed it real! Why are we here?

Milo, what are we known
for Halloween-wise?

For our quick, effective candy collection,
our house-to-house endurance,

and our costumes.

Our costumes. Sure, they've garnered
their fair share of awards,

such as "Zaniest of the 2nd Grade"

and "Most Flame Retardant
of the 5th Grade."

But we've been playin' it safe, Milo.

-Safe?
-Look at this stuff!

We can get the coolest costumes
in Hazelnut here!

No one'll be able to top us!
We... we... we got... [GASPS]

Nice.

This is it.

This is my costume.

They can deliver it
to the metal shop at school.

-I can put an engine in!
-[MOTOR WHIRRING]

PEPPER ANN:
I'll be a motorized beauty shop patron!

An M.B.S.P.! Yes!

-Okay, I'm set.
-PA, check the ancient plastics!

Can you leggo my costume, mister?

-Qué? You speaking to us, toddler?
-Come on, gimme it!

Why should I?

-'Cause I wanna go trick-or-treating!
-So do I!

-[GASP]
-You're going trick-or-treating?

Yeah. And so am I.
That is, if it's okay with you.

Well, uh, it's just...

aren't you guys way too old?

-Ha!
-Too old?

PA, you were so right
about Twice Loved Stuff!

Oh! Can you believe the nerve
of that little niblet,

saying we're too old
to go trick-or-treating?

We're not too old... [CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY]
...are we, Milo?

PA, I can't believe you're letting
some fourth grader get in your head.

I don't care if I'm the oldest
trick or treater in the Metropolitan area.

I found a k*ll antique
dehydrated papaya costume

and I intend to use it!

I'm going out for Halloween
no matter what!

But what if we're the only ones?

-[DOORBELL RINGING]
-Trick or treat!

-Trick or trea...
-Trick or losers.

Like, T-O-T-ing is for wee tots?

[SCREAMS] Gotta get outta here.

-[SCREAMS]
-[SCREECHING, THUDDING]

Like, she just wrapped her boufantmobile
around your mom's Chinese Elm?

[PANTS]

Milo can do it, yes, he can

He's two parts papaya and one part man

[CAT MEOWS]

Nicky, how old is too old
to go trick-or-treating?

-Any age is too old, Pepper Ann.
-[GROANS]

Refined sugars wreak havoc
on both our dental enamel

and metabolic rates.

Not only will I not be going out
this year,

but my family is giving out
honey carob wheat bars.

I think I'm too old to celebrate
my favorite holiday.

Pepper Ann, mine is not necessarily
the mainstream view. Why not ask Milo?

He's better at gauging
the fleeting sentiments of our peers.

-[DOOR CLOSING]
-Why waste it on one day?

I say, let's make it Halloweek!

[GASPS]

Um. Milo, are you gonna be wearing
that costume all the way to school?

I know what you're thinking,
but don't worry.

I can wear this thing all week
without scuffing, staining, or ripping.

They built the space shuttle
out of this stuff.

Oh, great.

-What up, PA? Why've we stopped?
-I have to collect leaves for Home Ec.

Cool, I'll help! Trinket's mom
has an amazing Chinese Elm...

-Alone.
-Very noble. See you in there.

-[WIND HOWLING]
-Geez, you totally fridged Milo.

Do you think I like lying to my friend?

I have no choice!
He looks like fruit roadkill!

Why don't you just be straight with him?
At least he's doing what he wants.

Dressing up, and trick-or-treating,
without trying to find out

-if it's cool or not!
-[LEAVES RUSTLE]

That's it!

Hi, I'm taking a poll for RINGA,

the Rhode Island
Nougat Growers Association.

Question, are you going
trick-or-treating this year?

My answer is no. Why?
What have you heard?

-Um. Well...
-No!

-Unless...
-No!

Are you kidding me? Trick-or-treating?

Sorry, I'll be too busy
playing with dolls.

No one is going out.
Halloween, as I know it, is over.

Dig the sassy chassy.
Ready to cruise lunch?

I can't. I'm on a cleansing fast.

Finally! Enjoy the cleanse.

What is it with you? You're moping around,
dissing your friends,

eating lunch in the metal shop,
just go trick-or-treating!

-I can't go out.
-"Can't go out"?

Try "won't go out
because no one else will."

You told Milo you wanted to be bold,
daring and different!

Here's your chance, take a stand!

Everyone, your attention!

Halloween is tomorrow
and I'm going trick-or-treating!

-[STUDENTS GASP]
-[CRIES]

I know I might be too old for it!
I know that it might not seem cool!

But I believe in costumes!
I believe in free candy!

Friends, I believe in Halloween!
Will you believe in it too? Will you?

[WIND HOWLS]

[COW MOOING]

-[ALL CHEER]
-Yay! Trick-or-treating is okay!

All hail the Queen of Halloween!

You're right! I'll do it!

Everyone, your attention!

I believe in... That the owner
of the red Megablade 3000s

left their toe-activated footlights on.

-Thank you.
-[LAUGHS MALICIOUSLY]

[SLURPS] Need more help with the engine?

No. I'm not going
trick-or-treating anymore.

I'm too old for that stuff now.

Oh. Can I use your costume?

Promise me... [CRIES]
...that you'll hold on to Halloween.

-Promise me!
-Okay.

[SLURPS]

Do I still have to hold this?

I don't care, Splash.
Do whatever you want.

-[CAR HORN HONKING]
-[CAR DOOR CLOSING]

There are the sisters Pearson!
I got all the decorations on your lists.

Candy corn on the sugarcane cob,
and I gotta...

Mom, I'm a little too old
for trick-or-treating.

-[GROWLS]
-[SCREAMS]

[SPITS] Peppie, you love Halloween!

No one is too old
for All Hallow's Eve! [LAUGHS EVILLY]

Now, who's up for making maggots
out of couscous?

-Oh, me.
-Not me.

I'm going to Brain Dead.

-But, Peppie...
-Let her go, Mom. She's got issues.

[LASERS sh**ting]

Use your smart crunch, PA!
Watch the crossfire, crunchgirl!

Milo, you look like Radioactive Gummi Man!
You're a preteen, start acting like one!

Halloween is for kiddies!

Can't you see that you're making
a fool of yourself?

Why do you think everyone
is looking at us?

Probably 'cause you're wigging?
PA, I wanna use my freakyality

to the full extent of my ability,
and I don't need anyone telling me

when I can or can't dress up
like a dehydrated papaya!

Fine! But I don't have to hang out
with you while you're doing it.

[DOORBELL RINGING]

-[SCREAMING]
-[HALLOWEEN MUSIC PLAYING]

Trick or treat!

[HUMS] Why the long face, homey-homes?

You didn't dress up,
so at least put some spirit into it.

-Okay.
-[DOORBELL RINGING]

-[SCREAMING]
-[HALLOWEEN MUSIC PLAYING]

Milo, that costume rocks!
Wait, I know, you're... [CLICKS TONGUE]

...you're Federal Reserve Chairman
Alan Greenspan!

It's not a costume, Pepper Ann.

You were right it's time to grow up.

Next year, I'm officially going to be
a teenager. I have to get ready.

These are the childish trinkets
of my youth.

Preposterous Putty.

My Great Milodini cape.
The Papaya costume.

They're all for Moose,
she's still but a child.

-Milo, you're not going out...
-Trick-or-treating? No.

-[DOORBELL RINGING]
-[HALLOWEEN MUSIC PLAYING]

Look at the child. [CHUCKLES]
How amusing.

-CHILD: Trick or treat.
-[DOOR CLOSES]

Milo! This isn't you!

You use your freakyality
to the full extent of your ability!

It was an interesting life,
but, that time has passed, Pepper Ann.

PA! You call me PA! No one else does!

No one else savors assemblies like you!

No one else would ever dress up
like an orange mutant for a week!

And no one else goes out
trick-or-treating. Remember?

Milo, I was wrong,
as wrong as Dieter was

when he tasted the stuff
inside his lava lamp.

This isn't about growing up.

This isn't about looking cool or not.

This is about Halloween.
Come on, what do you say?

Hand me my papaya head, PA
Let's get to treatin'!

Woo-hoo!

The best 'ween ever, Kama-papaya.

What sugary rewards we received!

No, Milo, ours is a richer reward!

Tonight was Halloween. Hall-o-ween,

a night for masks and disguises,
and yet, to really enjoy it,

we had to take off the masks
that hid our true selves.

We tricked ourselves into making Halloween
our own special treat.

-We're pumpkin-carving pioneers.
-[CISSY SCREAMING]

PEPPER ANN: Red licorice rebels, Milo.

No one else dared do what we did. No one.

[CRICKETS CHIRPING]

[UNZIPS]

Mm. Whatchama-chocolate.
True bliss, I have found ye.

[MUNCHES]

MOOSE: ...remembering her sacred oath
to protect the beings of Zorgon,

Regenica must resort to violence.

CRASH: When the mist
from her nucleonic blast clears,

Gelatinous Slugoid is no more.

MOOSE: We must warn the others, Gnomy!

CRASH: Oh, Mistress Regenica!
I hope we're not too late!

Genetic Dozen rules.

[SIGHS] Too bad a girl like Regenica
doesn't exist in real life.

-[DOOR OPENING]
-PEPPER ANN: All right, which one

of you jokers took my new Snotty Road CD?

A girl who's not afraid to speak her mind.
Saucy like Regenica.

That better not be
the last Chillade, Bash!

Um. My name is Crash.

Move it or lose it, Flash!

A girl who'll fight for justice
no matter what.

You wanna raise Crunch Pod
to 50 cents a game?

That's highway robbery
and I for one will not stand for it!

-You go, girl!
-Vive la révolution!

Too bad a girl like Regenica... [GROANS]

-PEPPER ANN:
Since you're down there, Mash...

-[GASPS, CHUCKLES]
-...could you look for that gumball

I dropped? I think it rolled
under the Wolverine standee.

[ROARS]

-[GROWLS]
-Come! We must warn the others!

I love you, Pepper Ann.

And I you, Crash.

You know my name.

Of course, I know. I've always known.
Now hold on!

Stash, I am so glad
you could join us for dinner.

Thank you for allowing me to break bread
with a Goddess.

[GIGGLES] Oh, you!

Crash, after dinner wanna...

-Clean Pepper Ann's hair out of the drain?
-[MUNCHES]

-No.
-Oh.

-Then no.
-[GULPS]

-Oh.
-[MUNCHES]

Would somebody pass the ground beef?

-[GASPS]
-My china!

-My beef!
-I... Her hand... Was she...

My beef.

-PEPPER ANN: Crunch this, mutant-face!
-MILO: Eat Pod, Pearson!

Take that back, sir.

-What? Who the Fuzzy are you?
-You have offended M'Lady!

Spitball duel. Tomorrow. Dawn.

I shall restore your honor, M'Lady.
I swear it!

Fine! Tomorrow, dawn. I'm there!

-Are you serious?
-No.

[INDISTINCT CHATTER]

Show yourself, sir!

[GROANS]

-[BICYCLE BELL RINGS]
-[BIRDS CHIRPING]

Sir?

Why are you in the bushes?

-[SIGHS] Your sister is bewitching.
-She doesn't even know your name.

She knows.
She's always known. Gosh, Moose.

It's so hard to believe
that you two are sisters.

Why?

'Cause she's so fascinating and pretty
and cool and amazing and...

[THUD]

Therefore, the square root
of a negative number results

in an imaginary number!

[MOUTHING] I love you.

Looks like someone's got a crush on you.

Oh, please. He's just
my little sister's weirdo friend.

He does not have a crush on me.

GORILLA:
Special delivery for Pepper Ann Pearson!

"Pepper Ann-a. You're my banana.
Let me be your man-a.

I'll take you to Havana. Love, Crash."

[CLEARS THROAT] Little tip here?

Don't quit your day job.

CRASH: [SINGING] Is it true?
Do you see the same colors I do?

What the fuzzy?

How I wonder what makes the weather

Too cold to wear shorts
And too hot for a sweater

Are you crazy?

I wish I knew

Pepper Ann, what's on your mind

Have you told yourself lately
You're one of a kind?

[PEPPER ANN GROANS]

-Pepper Ann!
-NEIGHBOR: Shut it!

Growing older, what does it mean

Can you morph through
The mysteries of life's in between

Is it all a dream?

-NEIGHBOR: No, it's a nightmare!
-Pepper Ann

Pepper Ann

-Pepper Ann!
-[CAR SIREN WAILING]

NEIGHBOR: I'm callin' the cops!

-[CAR SIREN WAILING]
-[CAR BEEPING]

Pepper Ann, you look like pureed Fuzzy.

I can't get rid of that wacko Dash!
Why is he hounding me all of a sudden?

Probably 'cause of your uncanny
resemblance to Regenica.

You know, of GD fame.

Oh, please. I do not look like her.

First of all, I wouldn't be caught dead
in shoulder pads!

Oh, come on, Regenica.
I think Crash's crush is cute.

NICKY: And perfectly natural.

Who among us hasn't succumbed
to the continental charms of Andy Capp,

or the brutish machismo
of Hagar the Horrible?

You people are sick.

Come on, it's a harmless crush.
What's the worst that can happen?

Wha... Where am I? What happened?

You had a terrible,
terrible blading accident.

Luckily, I was nearby to rescue you.

Yes, it's... it's coming back to me.

How could the brakes have gone out
on my brand new Megablades?

I'd better call my mom
and let her know I'm safe.

CRASH: You don't need to call anyone.
I'll take care of you...

-[GASPS]
-CRASH: ...forever.

You're freakin' me out, man!

[SCREAMS]

Oh, Mistress Regenica!
Together we shall rule the galaxy,

as husband and wife!

No!

Happy Anniversary, Pepper Ann!

You've been the woman of my dreams
for two whole days.

Beat it, Nash! I don't like you,
and I'm not your queen!

Yes, you are!
You're saucy and enchanting and...

Read my lips, Flash. Hit the road.

I know what you're doing.
You're testing me. Fine.

I'll prove my devotion to you
by going on a hunger strike!

No morsel of food shall touch these lips
until you return my affection!

You do that! Buh-bye!

PEPPER ANN:
Who wants to hear my new Snot CD

that hasn't been borrowed
by an annoying helmet-wearing pest?

[MUSIC PLAYING]

I'm just saying you sounded a bit harsh.
Not unlike a shrew.

It was for his own good.
He was gonna get over me eventually.

I just sped up the process.

-Hey, Moose. Where ya headed?
-Dumpster.

Who wants a drink?
We've got Chillades a plenty!

What about all the dumb stuff you've done
'cause of your longtime crush

-on Craig Bean?
-PEPPER ANN: What dumb stuff?

I've never done any dumb stuff.

NICKY: The time you kept
calling his house,

pretending to be a pencil salesman.

The time you printed up stationery
that said

"From the Desk of Mrs. Pepper Ann Bean."

The time I bronzed
that half-eaten chimichanga

he threw in the trash and... [LAUGHS]

I mean, come on, that was different!

-[GULPS]
-Hi, Moose. Care for a Chillade?

No. I don't drink 'em anymore.

[BURPS]

You told him to hit the road.
You told him to read your lips.

He's on a hunger strike because of you.

That's not my fault!

He knows I didn't mean
to hurt his feelings! He knows I'm saucy.

Now if you'll excuse me,
I have better things to do than...

Trash!

[TRUMPETS PLAYING]

Curse you, wandering minstrels!

Hey there, Moose. How's it goin'?

Fine.

Good, good. So, uh, tell me,
how's your little friend, um, Lash doing?

-You tell me.
-What? What're you talking about?

He likes you better. He said so.

Moose, Clash does not like me better.

Whatever he said to make you think that,
I'm sure he didn't mean it.

I don't care. He's stupid.

He would never purposely hurt
your feelings.

Sometimes people just say things
without thinking.

-He was my best friend, Peppie.
-[TRUMPETS PLAYING]

[GROANS]
Didn't I curse you minstrels already?

-[MINSTRELS SCREAMING]
-[THUDDING]

Don't worry, Moose. I will make
things right again. I swear it!

Peppie, I can't breathe.

I have been acting like a shrew!
Here. Eat some hot wings.

I was totally inconsiderate.

I said things without thinking
about how they might make you feel.

You're my sister's best friend.

I should treat you
with the respect you deserve.

Will you accept my apology, Crash?

-What's in your mouth?
-[MUFFLED VOICE] Nothing.

-[GULPS]
-Burger Fortress?

You're supposed to be fasting
as a demonstration of your love for me!

I was, but then I read the latest issue
of Genetic Dozen,

and met Regenica's cute new sidekick,
Machina Girl. [SIGHS]

What? You're dumping us
for this little floozy?

She can't even sh**t fire from her wrists!

Doesn't she look a lot like your friend,
what's her name?

Micky?

[CRASH SCREAMS]

PEPPER ANN:
Where's your Machina Girl, now, huh?

-Hey.
-Hey. [SLURPS]

-Sorry about...
-It's cool.

-So, wanna...
-Okay.

[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]

[THEME MUSIC CONCLUDING]