V/H/S/Beyond (2024)

[bunniefuu]

The person of

hardened skepticism,

just like the person

of hardened credulity,

cannot be reached.

They just either

believe or disbelieve

on almost a religious level.

Evidence is not proof,

but it's something that puts us

on the scent trail of proof.

But these tapes have

to be considered

the Holy Grail

for people who are

interested in alien encounters.

The story of

the Farrington House

has become kind of an urban

legend within Toronto,

as well as Canada.

A paranormal group

in the early 2000s

collected anecdotal evidence

of, you know,

a person seeing

a... kind of a gray form.

The allure of

the UFO connection

will definitely draw out

curious people.

Doing my thing,

just out poking around,

getting some sun.

It adds to the mystique

in what stories keep going

over time.

I'm pretty determined

that we're not

indigenous of this world.

I'll tell you that.

In terms of human nature,

there is more thrill

in pursuing something

than in catching something.

As long as people are

hunting for it,

it's almost like

the treasure map is out.

And we're wondering,

what will it disclose?

What the hell?

And it can be

a little like that

with these pieces

of vaunted evidence.

If we come into proof of

extraterrestrial life,

everything that we thought we

knew is called into question.

Segura, we're here.

Stay close and keep

the camera rolling.

We capture everything.

Keep your eyes open

and your mouth shut.

This crew in here... this crew

now is your family,

your mommy and daddy.

Do exactly as they say.

You disobey

any of these orders,

I'm going to break

my foot in your a*s.

Hey, kid, look alive.

So I got no guarantees

that's going to stay on...

-Everyone...

-But give it a try.

This is Segura.

Yeah, hey, guys.

ET body cam should be working.

All right, listen up.

Suit yourself.

I've got some bad news.

f*ck.

But there's

a silver lining this time.

We had another

kidnapping last night.

That's 17 in three months,

all infants.

Jesus.

Good news is someone

followed the guy who did it,

and we have a location.

I know we all want

to put an end to this.

Tonight, we get our chance.

-Who the f*ck put this up?

-Oh, f*ck.

Hey, man, I was just

trying to be thorough.

I'm sorry.

-Relax.

Sit down.

Take a shot or something, huh?

The f*ck are you looking at?

The guy's becoming a liability,

and you f*cking know it.

I got it.

I'll handle it.

What the f*ck is with this?

We had a f*cking agreement.

You know how that f*cking ends.

If you're gonna be there,

I can't have this.

You're losing your mind.

-Look, bro, there...

there's no f*cking way

you are keeping me out of this.

I know that.

So you're good?

Hey.

Are you f*cking kidding me?

f*ck you.

Hey, body bag, come here.

Now you're an a*mo bag.

Hope you're ready, rookie.

f*ck.

-Let's go.

Let's go. Move it!

Load up!

Hey, man, you want some gum?

Sarge.

This rookie is back here

f*cking blowing it.

Hey. Hey.

His kid's one

of the ones missing.

Just mind your own business,

keep that little light

blinking,

and you'll be all right.

You seeing this?

What is that?

What the...

Sarge, you said someone

followed the guy to a location.

That doesn't look

like just a f*cking guy

carrying that chainsaw.

What are we dealing with?

Whatever it is, we k*ll it.

Let's go. Let's go.

Move, move, move!

Ivy, eyes on that window.

I don't see anything.

What are we waiting for?

f*ck this.

ET, God damn it.

What the f*ck?

Hey.

What the f*ck was that?

Jesus, here we go.

Get ready.

Another one down.

ET, left.

Get if off me!

He's got me!

Get it off!

Got him.

f*ck!

ET!

Aubert, Bennet, go with him.

Hey. Not you, kid.

Stay with me.

sh*t!

f*ck.

sh*t!

We lost ET.

f*ck.

Aubert, go.

On it.

All clear.

Let's go.

Good sh*t, man.

Stork, let's go!

Oh, sh*t.

Hey, guys.

Guys, you're gonna wanna see...

What the f*ck?

-Get up.

Get up. Get up.

-Oh, sh*t.

-Come on.

Come on. Come on.

What the f*ck?

sh*t!

You gotta be

f*cking kidding me.

Find it, find it.

Oh, f*ck.

sh*t.

Where's the f*cking light?

f*ck. Come on.

What is it?

f*ck.

Two more!

There's two more.

f*ck you!

Guys, I'm okay!

What are you doing up there?

Get down here!

f*ck!

f*ck.

Jesus, man.

Reload, everyone.

Bennet, check right.

Copy.

Anyone hurt?

I'm good.

Nothing major.

ET, sound off.

Aubert, check him.

Let me see, kid.

Look at me.

You did good.

Kid's okay.

It's not his blood.

Hey, check this.

It's the same bandage.

It's the same wound on

every single one of them.

Some kind of ritual?

God knows.

Now what?

Now we go up.

f*ck.

-Riley.

Riley!

Riley!

Riley!

-Hey, stop.

Stop!

He's gonna get himself k*lled.

Stop.

Do what he just did,

and we all die.

Do you understand?

We do this right.

-Okay.

-Okay?

-Okay.

Right.

f*ck.

God damn it.

What the f*ck are these freaks

doing with babies anyway?

ET?

ET, is that you?

It's blocked.

What the f*ck was that?

sh**t it in the knees.

sh*t.

Let's just look.

Hey, look at this.

God damn.

Came down right through

the f*cking ceiling.

What did?

That.

What are we looking at

here, Sarge?

Some kind of meteor?

I don't know.

But it's cracked open.

Like something crawled out.

Whatever it is,

we don't touch it.

You hear me?

Hey, behind you!

sh*t.

-Don't sh**t it.

It looks sick.

I don't want its sh*t

all over us.

Ah, f*ck it.

Damn it, Aubert.

-f*ck.

-Clear.

He's alone.

Look at him.

He's f*cking out of it.

Another bandage.

Bennet, get a g*n on him.

Get a look in there.

He's got no brains.

Or his head is empty.

Oh, my God.

I'd be more worried

about where his brains went

in the first place.

Hey, body bag,

put your camera in here.

Help!

f*ck. That's ET.

Help.

Hang on, ET!

We're coming up there.

Shh, shh. Quiet.

Twinkle, twinkle...

I think I see something.

Little star,

how I wonder...

what you are.

Wait.

There's something up there.

There's something up there.

Bennet, light.

f*ck.

We're not getting through here.

f*ck.

Hey, wait, wait.

What about the chainsaw?

Oh, right.

Yeah, do it.

Aubert, come with me.

You got it.

Lost your f*ck' head

there, didn't ya?

Go, go!

Ivy, take it.

I can't see sh*t.

We'll all be dead if we

don't get through that door!

f*ck.

f*ck.

-Let's go!

-There's a door.

There's a door.

You're first.

Come on, come on, come on.

Go, go, go, go,

go, go, go, go, go.

-I can't fit.

I'm caught.

-Camera, camera.

Come here.

Gimme it, gimme it, gimme it.

Get in, Tommy.

Through, through, through.

f*ck.

-Let's go, let's go.

-Come on.

Come on.

-My hat.

Where's my hat?

-Here, here, here, here.

sh*t.

f*ck.

Move.

Come on.

Oh, man.

Ivy.

Wait, wait, wait,

wait, wait, wait.

Don't fire.

He's got one of the babies.

Up above the tree so high,

like the birds in...

Sarge.

ET.

Are you up there?

Whatever's up there,

whatever's responsible,

make it pay.

No reward for going

home with extra a*mo.

Amen, sister.

Hey, Segura.

Wear that uniform.

f*ck.

What the hell is it?

Oh, my God.

Oh, f*ck.

What the f*ck?

What the f*ck is that?

What the f*ck is it?

Oh, f*ck.

It's feeding the f*cking baby.

Amigo, light this f*ck up.

-Guys, get it off me!

Get it off me!

It's got me!

It's got me!

ET, wait, wait.

I don't wanna do

this to you, pal.

Come on, man. Keep back.

I don't wanna do this!

Ivy, put him down!

Finish it.

All right, cease fire.

Oh, sh*t.

Room?

Segura?

f*ck' told you.

So this is what it's like.

Hey, hey.

It's not going that way.

All right?

You're not gonna die.

No, no, no.

To be like you guys,

hunting monsters...

Something like this, kid.

Yeah.

Hey, welcome to Warden.

Guys, help me get him up.

What do we tell the families?

Maybe it's best we don't.

In the 1950s, a family

of Chinese immigrants

arrived in Toronto

from Hong Kong.

They were followed by good

fortune in their real estate

and commercial endeavors.

They purchased a beautiful,

sprawling house

built late in the Victorian

era on a large plot of land.

The patriarch and matriarch

passed away in the 1980s,

leaving the household

to their eldest son,

who eventually ended up

putting the house

up for sale in the early '90s.

Over that span of

liquidating assets,

he was staying in the house.

He started to

experience night terrors

and not sleeping well at night.

But what I understand

is the house was sold.

And the eldest son

disappeared thereafter.

The son was of the mind that

the house was either haunted

or there were some kind

of mysterious visitors,

but he never declared that

he was being visited by aliens.

In the Victorian era,

people may have had

strange experiences

with unknown beings.

And they might have said

poltergeist or ghost

or, in the 1950s,

due to the tenor of the times,

they might have said Martian.

Each generation possesses

its own language

and its own reference points

for reported encounters.

The anxiety that grips everyone

in that kind of situation

is that they will be

called crazy.

So he wants to prove

his sanity and record

evidence using VHS tech

of the strange happenings.

There were two recordings

from the eldest son.

One was a POV, a Point of View,

as well as a static camera.

As far as a piece

of evidence that I think

could be called definitive,

you'd have to be able

to reach a point

where the arguments

against the evidence

start to become

more of a stretch

than the arguments for it.

I think that would be

my definition of a piece

of truly compelling evidence.

f*ck.

sh*t, sh*t, sh*t, sh*t.

f*ck.

All right, man, lights.

Roll camera, and music.

Action.

Stop, stop, stop!

Cut it, guys.

Cut.

-Is there a problem?

-Problem?

She needs a f*cking break!

Take five, guys.

Incompetent assholes.

f*ck!

Are you okay?

Is she all right?

Lights.

Focus, Tara. Focus.

Sorry.

Because you do more for less.

It's fine.

Okay.

Cool down, take a deep breath,

and get ready

for another take, yeah?

Okay?

Oh, f*ck!

I'm really sorry, ma'am.

Do you want a selfie?

Thank you, ma'am.

I'm really sorry.

I think I should leave.

Ma'am?

But he made me.

Ma'am...

I like your face.

She's one nudge away

from waking up.

Thank you.

Ma'am?

Ma'am?

What the hell?

Tara.

Tara? Tara?

Tara, Tara.

What the f*ck?

f*ck!

No, no, no, no.

Dance with me?

Do you want a selfie?

Culturally speaking, we all

defer to off-the-shelf images.

-Hello, hello?

Hello, hello?

It's an aircraft, all right,

but like nothing

I've ever seen before.

Hello?

-What do you mean?

-Hello, hello?

The mind's eye image of the

malevolent extraterrestrial

helped shape the paradigm

of thinking about aliens.

It only had four fingers.

And on the tips of it were

a little suction cups.

And they described

the arm as much larger

here from the human,

and the very short joint

up here.

And the head was large.

The eyes were very sunken in.

When people speak of

a**l probes or dissections,

those accounts began

with communion.

Whitley Strieber described

the presence of what

we now popularly call grays...

slender limbs, a large

cranium, oval-shaped eyes.

It's a cultural archetype.

And a theme developed

that maybe we're not alone

and maybe our company

does not wish us well.

Right.

Zach Cam is a-rollin'.

-Yeah.

-Wait, wait.

How's our birthday boy doing?

I wanted to go bowling.

Rock and roll, baby.

You don't know how to bowl.

No fun.

Hey, Zachy-poo.

Noah here, obviously.

Dude, happy 30th, compadre.

Hey, ladies!

No, no.

We're not doing that stuff.

-Yeah, we are.

-No, no.

Dirty little boy.

You're just a dirty little boy.

Listen, listen, listen, man.

I got your doc cam a-rollin'.

Oh, also, yeah, we all know

how you feel about,

you know, heights.

And I've just gotta say,

I am totally in awe

of your bravery, dude.

Like, holy sh*t.

Dude, this is gonna be so dope.

So dope.

-All right, all right.

Pass it over here now.

Oh, also,

don't break my camera.

Cool.

Thank you.

-Five minutes to jump run.

Five minutes.

Okay.

Happy birthday, Zachary.

My kids are going

to lose their f*cking sh*t

when they see this.

I just have to say,

I am so proud of you.

Proud of you!

It's not the worst thing, Okay?

I know, I know.

I'm just... oh.

Jesus.

Okay.

Glad I skipped

breakfast this morning,

but beers on me

when we get back.

Yes!

Pass that sucker back this way.

Come here.

You got it?

Got it.

Are we good, Skipper?

All good.

-Minor crosswind.

Nothing to worry about.

-All right.

All right.

Gonna make landing

dicey, though.

Why... why'd he say that?

-Clip it.

-Yeah, I got it, Dad.

Thanks.

Got it?

And I'm clipped in.

Okay.

How do I look?

Dude, Zach, I could get

into some serious sh*t

for letting you wear

this, all right?

So don't go posting

this footage anywhere.

Man, I heard you

the first 50 times.

All right?

Hey, hey.

This is some next-level

best friend sh*t, man.

You ready to fly?

Not really, Logan.

Honestly, I'm kind of

freakin' out right now.

Yeah, well, hey,

that's normal, man.

You're about to jump

out of this plane

and fly around like Iron

Man at 120 miles an hour

for about 60 seconds.

If you really want

to butter me up,

you would have said Superman.

I'm a Superman guy.

You know this.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Hey, listen, this sh*t

is next-level addictive,

all right?

After today, you're gonna be

begging me to come back up.

I seriously doubt that, man.

Look, maybe... maybe

you all jump, right?

Like, I can just meet

you back at the hangar.

He can take me down.

Planes go both ways.

You don't need me to jump.

-I got you.

Okay?

We got you.

Jess, can you tell him, please?

Yes.

Baby, I promise.

I know that this is insane.

-Yeah.

-This is f*cking crazy, but...

-I know.

It's gonna be amazing, I swear.

All right?

-Yeah.

Plus, you look super

f*ck' hot in that jumpsuit

Hot, you say?

I look hot?

Hey, Logan, can I keep

the jumpsuit, man?

I f*ck' love you guys.

And if that were a text,

I would emphasize it

and heart it.

Hey, I love you.

-I love you.

-Come here.

Get under here.

Mwah, mwah.

Get outta here.

All right.

Three minutes to altitude.

Okay.

All right, that's

three minutes, guys.

Three minutes.

-Okay.

-Three minutes.

Clip in.

Tandems clip in.

Everyone secure your

latches, straps?

Everyone good?

Ready, babe?

Okay.

We are so crispy, guys.

All right.

Now, remember... keep

those backs arched.

And when in doubt, pop

those crotches out, baby.

-I felt all of that, man.

-It's the Viagra.

Don't worry.

That was right

on my back, okay?

Hey, we clipped in?

-Yeah, Z-man, scoot over.

-You all seeing this?

What...

Look out the window,

starboard side, 3:00 o'clock.

The hell's starboard side?

-No f*cking way.

-No way.

What is it?

Whoa, sh*t.

What the f*ck is that, man?

I can't see it.

Hey, what was that, man?

That was a f*cking UFO!

What'd you see?

I have no f*ck' idea.

That's insane, bro.

What are you looking at?

What the f*ck?

Easy, easy, easy.

Guys, guys, guys.

It's over here, now.

Look, look.

Holy f*cking sh*t, dude.

Holy... oh, my God!

We come in peace.

Is this Area 51?

f*ck'...

What was that?

That's military aircraft

in our air space.

We're headed back.

-What the f*ck was that?

-Jeez.

Zach, this doesn't

look good, man.

Shift over so I can

secure that last ring.

I'm trying, man.

I'm stuck.

Oh, God.

It's stuck on my ba*ls.

Work with me, Zach.

Come on.

Yo, we gotta jump.

Get outta here.

We gotta jump.

Oh, sh*t!

Oh, sh*t!

Logan!

Where's my chute?

I can't pull it!

Logan, pull the chute!

Oh, sh*t!

Logan?

Logan.

Logan.

Logan, man, come on.

Logan, man.

Get me out of

these straps, man.

Come on.

Logan, you gotta

help me out, man.

Come on.

Logan.

Logan.

We gotta get outta here.

We gotta... oh...

Logan.

Help!

Somebody.

Somebody help!

Jess!

Jess, where are...

Zach!

Brett.

Where are you?

Follow my voice.

We're over here!

Zach!

Brett!

Zach!

We're over here.

Oh, my God.

Are you okay?

Where's Logan?

I don't... did you see Jess?

No, no, no, no.

She's not with us.

Where's Logan?

Where's Logan?

I... he's...

Zach, where is Logan?

He's dead.

What?

Oh, f*ck.

Oh, f*ck.

f*ck, f*ck!

We're losing him.

We're f*cking losing him.

Press down.

Pressure, pressure.

-sh*t.

-Press, press, press down.

It's gonna be okay.

-Oh, my God.

Oh, God.

There's so much blood.

I don't know what to do.

I don't know what to do.

Jess?

Oh, what the f*ck?

-The f*ck's that?

-Oh, sh*t!

The f*ck do we do?

I don't f*ck' know.

The f*ck.

sh*t, f*ck, okay.

Oh, God.

Oh, okay.

Okay.

You guys see Jess?

-Oh, my... oh...

-f*ck.

-Zach, help me!

-f*ck.

Jess!

Jess, is that you?

Zach!

f*ck.

Oh, my God!

Jess!

Jess, I'm coming!

What the...

Now what the f*ck?

Oh, God!

Oh, my God!

Oh, my...

-Now run, run!

f*ck!

Run!

Now!

Run!

Let's go.

Oh, sh*t!

-Let's go.

-Britt, wait up.

-Oh, my God, oh, my God!

Let's go!

Run!

-f*ck.

Come on!

Come on!

Yo, what the f*ck was that?

I don't f*ck' know.

Run!

Shut up and run!

-Hey.

-Help!

-f*ck.

Where are we?

Jess.

Hey, guys.

Noah, stop!

I heard Jess!

-What the f*ck, dude?

Why are we stopping?

-I heard Jess.

-Oh, no, no, no, no, no.

I think I heard it too.

Wait, listen.

Oh, my God.

Let's go.

f*ck.

Go.

Brittney!

Brittney!

Oh, my God.

This way.

Go, go, go.

Run!

Oh, my God.

f*ck.

Go, go, go, go!

What the f*ck?

Hurry up.

-Run.

-Ooh.

Run!

Zach, come on!

Zach!

-Yeah.

Zach, what the f*ck

are you doing?

Get up.

Get up!

Oh, f*ck.

Zach, run, run, Zach!

Run!

Jess?

Jess?

Jess!

Jess, babe.

Babe, are you okay?

Jess.

Jess.

Jess.

No.

I'm sorry.

f*ck you!

Help!

Hey!

Hey!

Hey!

Sir!

Sir, stop the truck!

Stop the truck!

Oh, jeez.

Oh, oh, thank...

What the f*ck?

-Sir, sir, we gotta get out.

No, no, no, no.

We gotta to get

out of here, sir.

Oh, sh*t.

-Son...

you got till

the count of tres...

f*cking kidding me?

To get the hell outta my truck.

Sir, there is

something out there.

We need to get the f*ck

outta here right now, okay?

It k*lled...

-One.

-My friends.

It k*lled my wife.

Please, sir. Please.

I'm not f*cking

around with you.

Just...

-Two.

Sir, sir, please, please.

I promise you I'm not...

I'm not lying.

f*ck this.

Come on.

Oh, f*ck.

Oh, God.

Come on.

Please.

Please.

Oh, you've gotta

be f*cking kidding.

sh*t.

f*ck.

Oh, sh*t.

Oh, f*ck.

Oh, sh*t.

No, no, no, no, no,

no, no, no, no, no!

Oh, sh*t. Oh, sh*t.

We are desperate

to break out of the conditions

of everyday life.

Hey, got it.

Whoo-hoo!

Roger.

When I was a kid,

I never dreamt

that you would see serious

news reportage about UFOs

or unexplained encounters,

unknown tech.

Well, if there's a...

Look at that thing.

It's rotating.

Whenever I see

a piece of footage,

my first response is

to defer to analysts.

I am not someone who has

the background or training

to analyze footage.

I've never seen

a real UFO video.

I think they're all fake,

but I believe

there could be

a second layer to what

we're about to watch today.

All the orb videos

I've seen at this point...

they look exactly like this.

Thing flying never

changes directions.

It's always in a straight line

because it's being filmed

from an airplane.

-I'm Sam.

-I'm Niko.

We are from Corridor Digital,

a YouTube channel.

We have this series,

"Visual Effects Artists React,"

where we do a weekly

breakdown of visual effects.

And it was, like,

one moment in time when

UFOs were big on the news.

And we figured,

let's look at these

and see if we can use our

knowledge of visual effects

to see if these videos

have been doctored.

Oh, come on.

VFX.

Orb-like object.

There's a moment there where it

looks like the classic,

like, latex balloon.

If an alien video's

mystery depends on me

not being able

to see it clearly,

then that deducts

credibility from the video.

But there is an aesthetic

to the nicely compressed,

hard-to-see video.

And it hits unlike

anything else, in my opinion.

That's why everyone

likes filming spooky things

with VHS cameras.

Welcome to Doggy Dreamhouse,

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Well, if so,

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Say hello, Robert.

Robert is my baby.

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each one of your

precious babies

will be outfitted with

a little collar cam,

just like the one

that Robert is wearing.

So you can keep tabs

on all the trouble

your little troublemakers

are getting into...

and all the fun

they'll be having.

So come on down

to Doggy Dreamhouse

and have a bark-tastic day.

Becky Baxter... been tracking

her online for a few weeks now.

She runs her business

out of her house.

Seems legit, except for these.

-What are those?

-Jesus.

God.

Those are f*cking

mutilated dog corpses.

I'm sorry. What?

-Stop. That is...

-Disgusting.

-Revolt...

-What's the plan?

How are we gonna take

this old lady down?

Dude.

-Ageism.

-Thank you.

Ageism.

The plan is that

Stuart and Angela

will pose as our couple

wanting to board their dog.

Think he'll be able

to pull off that role?

-Shut up, dude.

Come on, guys.

You're so immature.

-It's a little funny.

-Can you be an adult for...

Can we focus here?

Stuart and Angela will be

posing as our decoy couple.

My dog, Pickles,

will be posing as their dog.

We're gonna be using the kennel

cam, so make sure you get

as much of the house

as possible.

-Will do.

We're on it, boss.

Yep.

Oh, come on in.

Hey.

Oh, hi.

Hello.

You must be Tom and Sarah?

Hi.

Nice to meet you.

Nice to meet you too.

And this must be Pickles.

Oh, aren't you the most

precious creature

I've ever seen

in my whole life?

Well, let's get you

out of that carrier.

That's okay.

I don't want him marking

his territory in your home.

-Oh, no, no, no.

That's totally fine.

Let's let him stretch

his little legs.

Seriously, he gets really

bad separation anxiety

if Tom's not holding him...

-Yeah.

-So...

-Okay.

Well, suit yourself.

Come on in, folks.

This is it.

Nothing fancy, I know.

It's nice.

Looks fun.

Oh, it is.

And this little

gentleman here is Robert.

Come here, Robert.

There you are.

Robert, this is Pickles.

Pickles, this is Robert.

Yes.

My sincerest hope is

that you two will become

the very best of friends.

Is something funny?

No.

Your dog is just...

he's so cute.

Yeah.

He is, isn't he?

Yes.

And he has the most

beautiful heart.

Yeah?

All right, down you go.

Okay.

Continuing with the tour,

back here is our kitchen.

All of our meals are made

right here by yours, truly.

All 100% healthy and organic

and 150% delicious.

When you say "our meals,"

does anyone else live here?

Well, if I didn't know

any better,

I'd think you were prying

into my personal life.

No, I didn't.

You know, we...

I'm messing with you.

No, it's fine.

Pry all you want.

I've got nothin' to hide.

I live here all by my

lonesome, not a suitor

in sight.

No, I meant the

meals are for us...

for Robert and me and

any furry friends who

happen to be staying with us.

And who are these guys?

Oh, my sweet babies.

You know, they say that

the hardest thing in life

is when a parent has

to bury her children.

And as far as I'm

concerned, the same

is true with fur children.

These are my fur babies.

They've crossed over

the Rainbow Bridge.

Where's Gary?

Gary was my most special

boy, so I have something

extra special planned for him.

You know, he was a Pomeranian,

but he had the heart

of a pit bull.

He was so protective

of his mommy.

No, he got a hold of this

nasty little intruder

and he sacrificed

his life for me.

It's a long story, but let's

just say he died a hero.

So you don't bury them?

Well, some, I do.

But it seems wrong,

somehow, to put

such precious things in the

ground and let them disappear.

This is how I honor them.

By mutilating their bodies?

-Stop.

-I'm sorry.

-Stuart.

-It's barbaric.

Stop it.

It's okay.

He's entitled to his opinion.

I thought you said

your name was Tom.

It is.

But she called you Stuart.

Yeah.

That's a pet name...

middle name.

Yeah, I'm not very

partial to pet names.

No.

Now, if Pickles

here were my dog,

I'd give him a more noble name,

something with weight,

like Henry or Julius.

Yes, I like that name for you.

Oh, it's so much more regal.

And these are not regal

quarters, are they?

No.

How rude of me.

I got so distracted

by Julius here that I almost

forgot to finish the tour.

How would you two like to see

where the dogs are trained?

I bet you'd be very

impressed by that.

We would like that,

wouldn't we, Tom?

-Yeah.

Yeah, yeah.

And I'm sorry about

what I said earlier.

I just...

-Oh, no, no.

I shouldn't have said that.

It's okay.

Water under the bridge.

Oh, come on.

Follow the leader.

Oh, and don't mind the mess.

You know, I like to think it

gives the place character.

But as my mother used

to say too much clutter

is just clutter.

Jeez.

Ooh, Mr. Jumpy there.

Oh, that's just my brother, Bo.

Don't mind him.

-Hello.

Sorry for interrupting your...

You said you lived alone.

Well, it feels like

I do because Bo

doesn't talk much these days,

ever since the accident.

God, he used to be so annoying.

We would get in

the craziest fights.

He'd be like...

And I'd be like...

And we would just...

And now, he's as quiet

as a church mouse...

not like these rowdy kids

down here, huh, babies?

This is where we do

all of our training.

Oh, and this is

our grooming station,

or as Frederic here likes

to call it, the panic room.

Ooh.

I'm kidding.

He's a good boy.

He's just a little stinker.

And over here is where

we have our floor time.

It's just for playing

and socializing.

So what's all this?

Oh, that's my little

arts and crafts area.

It's how I keep all of my

babies alive and in my heart.

What's back there?

Well, this is

the time out corner.

It's where we keep

the naughty boys and girls,

like the ones who sneak into

people's personal spaces

and ask rude questions,

like you two, and like he did.

Help me.

No, no.

Stuart.

Oh, God.

Oh, God.

-Please.

-No.

Bad dog.

Bark.

-No more.

-Bark!

Please.

Louder!

There, there, Julius.

It's okay.

You're safe and sound now.

Yes.

Those nasty humans

can't hurt you anymore.

Come here, baby.

Oh, what a good boy.

Okay, let's go.

Thank you for calling

Doggy Dreamhouse,

where your doggies' dreams

become reality.

Please leave a detailed

message after the tone

and have a bark-tastic day.

Yeah, I'm not sure anyone's

getting these messages,

but again, this is Miles with

Humans Against Animal Cruelty.

And I'm looking for two

of our team members.

Please call me back at 555-0172

as soon as you get this.

I really don't wanna have

to get the police involved.

Thank you.

Okay.

So today has been

an exciting day.

Bo was able to exhume

sweet Cynthia and Marcus

from the little cemetery

out back...

here they are

during better times.

And here is my little

rascal, Abraham.

Oh, there he is.

I am so, so, so excited to

show you the progress

that Abraham is making.

He's almost back

to his old, snarly self.

Yeah.

Bo loved Abraham.

Didn't you, Bo?

Yeah, they were like

two peas in a pod.

But before we get to our

soon-to-be graduate,

I just wanted to show you

we have some really great

pieces here

for our new residents

to help them

transition perfectly.

Speak of the devil.

And he has been a little devil,

haven't you?

Yeah, he's definitely

the naughtier

of our two new students.

Oh, now, Marcus, that's not

how good boys ask for treats.

Please.

Please.

No.

"Please" is a word that

humans use when they

want to pretend to be nice.

Nice dogs are just nice.

Okay.

Okay.

Nap time for Marcus.

Good boy.

Okay.

And over here, we have Cynthia.

Cynthia, what do you say?

No.

More.

Speak.

Good girl.

Good girl.

Someone deserves

a good girl treat.

Here we go.

Give me your paw.

Good job.

Here you go.

Oh, don't worry.

The swelling will

go down soon enough.

And then treat time will

only be a good time.

You've just gotta adjust.

That's what I had to do

when my husband passed.

You gotta adjust.

Bo, we need to get

Marcus ready.

No.

Bad dog.

Bo, get the rag.

Okay, we're back.

And I am so excited

to show you.

Marcus finally has a proper paw

for shaking, if he ever learns

to shake, which he'd

better because Marcus was

such a good little shaker boy.

And these here...

these are the paw pads.

This is gonna make it so much

more easy for him to walk

around on his hands and feet.

And now that he's being

a good little sleepy boy,

it's time to fix his snout.

Oh, and these chompers here are

gonna be so useful for chewing

his food and

protecting his mommy,

once the swelling goes down.

And then we're gonna put on

that cute little nose for all

those little nose boops.

Boop.

So we're here at this

psycho taxidermy lady's place.

We're gonna call

the cops, but...

But the cops are just

a bunch of corrupt fascists.

Dude, I got this.

Sorry.

Come on, let's do this.

Looks like your

friends are here.

That was f*cking epic.

Did you get that?

Humans are

such entitled brutes,

just like you used to be.

Help, help, help.

No.

Bad dog, bad.

Bad.

Where's the third one?

Help!

sh**t.

sh**t, guys, I swear to God

I just heard Angela.

Help!

-Holy sh*t.

That's her.

Help!

Hey, just keep filming.

Let's f*cking go.

Huh, f*ck.

What the f*ck...

Here.

The f*ck was that?

Stuart?

sh*t.

Angela.

Oh, my God.

What the f*ck?

What the f*ck?

I'm sorry.

We're closed today.

Who are you?

Well, I'm her new fur mommy.

And you're intruding.

Boys.

f*ck is that?

Gary.

Abraham.

Hi.

Mommy needs your

help right now.

Oh, my God.

Sic 'em.

Good boy, Gary.

Do you want a little treat?

Open up.

That's good.

Such a good boy.

Yeah.

Mama loves you.

Boop.

In the 1950s, probably

due to the Cold w*r,

the dominant public point of

view was aliens as invaders,

which was brought to mass

popularity in the 1930s

by the great Orson Welles.

The verisimilitude was

such that some people

apparently believed it.

I mean, look, it's fun to be

a little bit of a trickster.

We've done it ourselves.

The whole world

thought it was real.

And Boston Dynamics got

death threats because of us.

A piece of footage like

this, even when it's exposed,

never dissuades

the true believers.

Orson didn't intend to deceive.

He just intended to persuade.

Orson intended to

make a drama that

was so thrilling that you

could momentarily forget

what you were listening to.

And that fear response

just came out of you.

That's what

the best horror does.

The Mojave Desert has long

been a known UFO hot-spot,

since long before the famed

Mojave Incident of October 21,

1989, when nine glowing lights

appeared in the sky and turned

a couple's quiet weekend away

into an unearthly nightmare,

as Elise and Tom Gifford...

Elise and Tom Gifford.

Elise and Tom Gifford.

As Elise and Tom Gifford were

trapped in their camper van

by nonhuman creatures.

It has also been a known

UFO hot-spot since long

before George Van Tassel...

f*ck.

Since George Van

Tassel, a writer,

aircraft, engineer,

and ufologist built

the Integratron 19 miles...

17 miles.

Built the Integratron

17 miles outside of Joshua Tree

to harness

otherworldly energies,

he swore, coursing

through the area.

And just last week,

lights reappeared

in the California desert,

reminding us we are not alone.

f*ck.

Okay.

You said you saw the lights.

I did.

They started there.

Then they moved there...

all perfectly spaced

out, three of them.

And they kind of came

and went very quick.

How long were

you observing them?

10, 15 minutes at most.

What television station

are you from again?

This is a documentary.

I'm not affiliated

with a news station.

I thought you told me

you were a reporter.

I also saw the lights that way.

There were, like, six

bright lights up in the sky.

Little one broke off,

landed somewhere back there.

I rode out, tracked it down,

saw a bunch of, like,

little alien footprints.

Got a buddy over there, Bubba.

Bubba Quails.

He's, like, one of those

survivalist type.

He said they were out there

gathering animals.

What kind of animals?

We got all sorts of

f*ck' animals out here.

We got squirrels.

We got iguanas, tortoises,

spiders, you name it.

Your friend saw this,

like, for real?

In a vision.

Like, he saw it visually?

Nah, like one of those

vision quests.

You know,

the spiritual visions.

She says that

it started with two lights,

and then it became six.

And then they all flew away

except for one.

They make no sound at all.

They came into my room.

Wait.

Who came into your room?

The shadow people.

They tried to take Buttons.

What's Buttons?

My hamster.

So they didn't take Buttons?

No, I told them not to,

so they didn't.

And then they sang me a song.

Using the eyewitness testimony

and the initial reporting

in the desert news, which...

I can't believe

this hasn't already

gone national,

considering there were

over 20 eyewitness reports.

I have met myself

six campsites for the week

under the path of the lights.

When we talk about

extraterrestrial life

visiting Earth,

we must first consider

the distance that

they would have to travel.

Let's say that they come

from Proxima Centauri,

the closest possible star,

basically our neighbor

in the galaxy.

They are a measly

4 light-years away.

So how do they get here?

And what happens when you

travel near the speed of light?

Because of course,

by all conventional means,

you can't travel

at the actual speed of light.

That's why physicists get

so excited about things

like wormholes and warp speed.

But let's say that you can

instantly accelerate to 99.9%

the speed of light

and instantly

decelerate without

destroying your ship

or dying in the process.

Everyone on Earth will have

experienced about 4 years,

but for you,

that trip is only 2 weeks.

Now, let's say you're a little

bit further away... still

really close to

us, but just, like,

a little bit further away.

That would be Andromeda.

So you will experience

a trip of about 28 years,

but everyone on Earth will

have aged 2.5 million years.

It's no small feat.

Oh, sh*t, oh, sh*t, oh,

sh*t, oh, sh*t, oh, sh*t.

Oh, sh*t. Oh, my God.

Did I get it?

Um, okay, I'm gonna rewind

and see if I got it.

So I didn't get it.

Maybe some lights.

Could have been an airplane.

And I guess

I taped over some sh*t

that I didn't

exactly intend to.

Go ahead, Steven.

Reason f*ck' 85 on why

Haley's a shitty mother.

There'll be other birthdays.

Okay.

There are these

floating lights.

They've been

flickering on and off.

And there are,

like, six of them.

I don't know how to explain it.

I'm gonna try something.

This camera has an

infrared sensor.

And I'm gonna see if

maybe we can catch

a little more light with it.

Okay, here we go.

Oh, my God.

That's incredible.

Oh, completely gone.

I'm gonna try to follow.

Suck it, Steve.

Suck it, Stanford.

Following

the lights in the sky.

We did it, baby.

f*ck yeah.

Okay.

I think this is

where it came down.

And I'm not getting

anything in IR,

so let's try visible light.

Okay.

There's something over there.

Am I seeing...

I think I'm seeing

a light in the distance.

Doesn't seem to be

moving with me.

It's just right over there.

I can... I don't see

anything else.

It's just that.

There it is.

Yeah.

You see that?

Huh, look at that.

Okay.

I'm gonna get a little closer.

Okay.

Flickers on and off.

It's my light.

There's something.

I'm just gonna...

there's some footprints, maybe.

They're leading away from this.

It's very big.

It's reflective.

See?

It's reflecting my light.

And is it a spaceship?

I don't know.

Getting a little closer in.

Oh, my God.

I'm trying to get a sense

of how big this thing is.

And I can't.

Oh, God.

That's me.

Yeah.

The ship's reflecting me.

Okay.

There're some noises

maybe off in the distance.

But it doesn't look

like anybody's home.

Oh, God.

How am I gonna do this?

Okay.

All right.

Yeah.

Here we go.

Looks like it's made out

of, like... it's like a skin.

It's something on the walls.

Maybe some kind of...

I don't know.

It looks organic.

Not seeing any seats

or controls anywhere.

God.

And the floor is, like,

a little bit squishy.

I don't know what

I'm looking at here.

Maybe it's like an exoskeleton.

And there's, like...

it looks like dental floss

on the whole thing.

Obviously,

it's not dental floss,

but strings of something

all over the walls.

And there's patterns

or something here.

That's the darkest

thing I've ever seen.

Some kind of membrane

or something.

It's, like, a little bit wet.

Smells like... I

don't know... nothing.

Gonna touch one of these,

see what happens.

Oh, I barely even touched it.

Holy hell.

That's sharp.

Oh, what is that?

Oh, no.

Oh, no, no, no, no.

Oh, sh*t. Oh, sh*t.

Oh, it healed my cut.

Holy sh*t.

I'm guessing we just saw

the future first aid.

I mean, they just saw the

injury and responded to it...

little microscopic

nanotechnology.

Those filaments are

a remarkable material.

I mean, it was... it cut

through me like butter,

but I guess if you had

a skin that was more,

say, dense,

for example... oh, f*ck.

Oh, no.

So I turned my

camera light off.

Let me turn IR back on.

I can't see any of that...

look through the camera.

Whatever it is,

that pod is glowing.

Okay.

He went in there,

and it's closed.

I think it's sleeping.

There's, like, some kind of

pattern on the walls here.

I'm gonna see if

I can get this open.

It's beautiful.

Okay, this way now.

They've got animals in here.

Was that... it's

like an octopus.

There we've got a spider.

I guess they don't have

a formula for humans...

some sort of lizard

or bird, maybe.

And it looks like this

is filling with some kind

of goo that's causing stasis.

I mean, it must be for

a long-distance travel

to keep them safe.

28 years to Andromeda

is a long time.

The lights just

started pulsate.

I think it's probably time

I gotta get out of here.

Oh, f*ck.

Where's the door?

Oh, no, no, no, no, no,

no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

Oh, God.

No.

Where the f*ck did it go?

No, no, no.

It was right here.

It was right here.

Oh, f*ck, oh, f*ck, oh, f*ck.

Oh, f*ck.

This looks like some

kind of a countdown.

No, no, no, no, no,

no, no, no, no, no, no.

Please, please, please,

please, please, no.

I think they did the best

they could on my arm.

It looks like that was just

the initial push into orbit.

The force was incredible.

That's probably why

the animals and the pilots...

they need constant stasis.

I mean, I've never felt

anything like it.

The technology that you need

to go into hyperspeed...

I mean, it must be incredible.

I think you need shielding

and life support

just for the heat

and the radiation alone.

I mean...

It's, uh...

Please, no more.

What really fascinates me

about this stuff

is what people believe.

The big mystery, of course, is

what happened

to the eldest son?

He vanished.

The property was left

vacant and abandoned.

So everything was sold.

The house was

turned into a museum

jointly managed by different

city and provincial agencies.

Those videotapes probably were

collected with all the assets

and sold at an auction.

In borderline or

controversial questions,

every piece of

evidence is going

to function

almost like a mirror

for the individual himself.

Whenever you're ready.

Like any other

piece of evidence,

the rejectionists are going

to say, gee, great makeup job.

And the believers are

gonna say, case closed.

-Ren.

-There he is.

-What's up?

-All right.

Hey.

It's a humanoid form.

He's pulling something

out of the eldest son.

Those are alien eggs, maybe.

Oh, it looks like

he's got the camera.

Now, this is

a probe lens, right?

It's grotesque.

Okay.

Real or not,

I am very uncomfortable.

That is really gross.

This has to be

analyzed, verified.

Now the real work has to begin.