21x03 - I Can See Clearly Now

[bunniefuu]

MEREDITH: In 2023, a team of
scientists studying hepatitis C

- made a fascinating discovery...
- Complications include

blood clots, bleeding,
leaking from or blockage of

the ureter tract and...

Still studying for
the kidney transplant.

- I want to be ready.
- You've been studying all night.

You're probably over prepped.

No such thing. Going in early again?

This doesn't have anything
to do with that mystery woman

who stayed in your bed and followed you

around the hospital, does it?

Nope. Just trying to stay ahead.

♪ If life is what we make it,
then why's it always breaking? ♪

Whoever's ready can ride it with me.

- I'll come.
- We'll catch up.

♪ So I'm giving up ♪

They found that the virus
creates a "cellular mask"

to hide from our immune
system in plain sight.

[BREATHLESSLY] When you
said you wanted to...

do something with just the two of us...

I, um, I was expecting something else.

Like what?

- We've gone four blocks.
- I know, I just... I...

I need oxygen. I need...

♪ So I'm giving up ♪

♪ Trying to make you happy ♪

Yeah, that.

Yeah, I needed that.
Shall we keep going?

Camouflaged in molecules
already known to our bodies,

the virus copies itself over and over.

Uh, you're not hitting
the gym this morning?

I thought I'd help you out of the clinic

before my interview with Heron.

Oh, I, um...

I've got some business at
the hospital this morning.

Hey, wanna meet for lunch? [CHUCKLES]

It's taco day at the cafeteria.

I don't feel like tacos.

- You love tacos.
- Too damn busy for tacos.

It sneaks in like a Trojan
horse past our immune system.

And by the time the body
realizes what's happened,

the infection has already taken hold.

- Why don't you just ask him?
- NICK: Because Webber doesn't want to

assist on a kidney transplant.

He doesn't want to assist on anything.

But you said it'll be interesting.

For the interns. Not for Webber.

What's this actually about? Hmm?

I just thought it would be nice

if the two of you worked together.

Mer, come on. What's up?

I'm doing a liver biopsy
on Catherine today.

Her cancer may have spread.

And, uh...

he doesn't know, does he?

I tried to get her to tell him.

She doesn't want to.

I can't believe you're doing this.

- Breaking HIPAA?
- No, making me an accomplice.

- Oh, what could go wrong?
- [CHUCKLES] What could go wrong?

I love you.

[BIRDS CHIRPING]

JAMES: You know, some people
think you'll go to hell

if you swipe left on a chaplain.

Oh, I, um... Hey.

- I... I'm sorry.
- I was kidding.

I was just trying to get
to the... the news on there,

and then my finger accidentally
opened up that app, so...

- JACOB: Morning.
- Oops. [CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY]

Thanks, Jacob.

- Someone's a little hungry.
- Oh, I like to have extra treats

- to hand out to the nurses.
- That's really kind.

Yeah, well, don't want to go to hell.

Again, kidding.

- Okay.
- JO: ... in the morning,

so then I switched that
to Saturday at 2:00 p.m.,

and there was something else.

Oh, I, uh, I scheduled
our OB appointment

- at Seattle Presbyterian.
- Sure.

Why take an elevator upstairs

when you can cross town in traffic?

The minute people here
find out that I'm pregnant,

- they'll treat me differently.
- Like letting you sit down?

- Giving you time to sleep?
- No, like... not giving me the good cases

or thinking I'm not
committed to the job.

- It's your call...
- Okay.

... but if I had a vag*na, I'd
want Carina DeLuca all over it.

Came out way worse
than it sounded in my...

- Yeah.
- Yeah.

Hi. Oh. I'm sorry.

This is the best that I could do.

But, hey, look, you
got a new microscope.

I've been using it to
look for the bright side,

but so far no luck.

Well, I have put your name on
a wait list for another lab.

I don't know what I'll
be doing there anyway.

Meredith hasn't exactly filled me in

on the next steps for our research.

I have an idea to keep you busy today.

A hemangioblastoma
on the thoracic spine.

I can see that.

The patient's upstairs.

If you want her case, it's yours.

Were you hoping that I wouldn't notice

she's 20 weeks pregnant?

I mean, she needs to
terminate that pregnancy

- before I can operate on that tumor.
- She wants to keep it,

and four other neurosurgeons
have turned her down.

Will you just meet with her?

Uh... Unless you're too busy?

Yeah, right.

- Dr. Heron? I'm Ben Warren.
- Oh, Dr. Warren...

- the firefighting anesthesiologist, yes?
- I guess.

Uh, I know I'm a couple minutes
early for my interview...

Yeah, you're four hours early, and I
have two lap choles, so I know that you're

Dr. Bailey's husband, but I...

No, I cannot shuffle my
schedule around for you.

- I say no-no to nepo, right?
- I...

- So 1:00, coffee cart. Yeah?
- Okay. See you there.

Good morning! Who is ready
to see what today holds?

[PERKY] That's why we're waiting here.

[CHUCKLES] Oh, great! Okay.

Oh. Kwan.

I'm afraid I have some traumatic news.

You are with Hunt in the ER.

[GIGGLES] Get it? Trauma?

I-I'm just happy for the work.

Oh, and, Millin, any
guesses where "I'll see you"?

- Please don't.
- That's right, the ICU.

[GIGGLES] Okay, okay.

Griffith, you're with Webber,

and Adams is on Marsh's
kidney transplant.

- Oh, I think I'm with Marsh.
- Actually, Dr. Marsh requested Adams.

And, Yasuda, you're with Shepherd.

Unless you want to
keep playing telephone.

Shepherd? Got it.

Then let's get out there and... ?

[TOGETHER, UNENTHUSIASTICALLY]:
Heal with love.

Yes!

You okay?

Yeah. I'm fine.

Can you pass me my tablet?

I need to watch the weather report.

Donna Mae, you know
you can't go outside.

I know, but I just want
to see Victor Suarez.

He's so handsome, and
he's always accurate.

- If he says it's gonna rain, it rains.
- I'm so sorry I'm late.

I had to stop at the peds
floor for your pudding.

- You are forgiven.
- Donna Mae Clarkson, 82.

Status post-CABG two
months ago. History of TIA.

Congestive heart failure with EF of 25%.

On Levophed, an insulin drip,

dialysis three times a week, and you...

don't have an advanced directive.

No, dear, but thank you.

If you can't make your
own medical decisions

with no advanced directive,
we'd have to assume

that if you got sicker
than you already are,

you'd want us to use all
available life-saving measures.

- It could be very uncomfortable.
- I understand,

but if it means staying alive,
I choose quantity over quality.

Now, pass me that
tablet and the puddings.

Here.

[INDISTINCT ANNOUNCEMENT OVER PA SYSTEM]

Meredith, what brings you here?

A patient consultation.

Oh, well, I was hoping you
were here to see Catherine.

She hasn't been acting
like herself lately.

She won't say it, but I think
your rift is eating away at her.

- I don't know what to say.
- Oh, I know there are bad feelings,

but if you could
reach out to her,

- I'd be grateful.
- [ELEVATOR BELL DINGS]

♪

I think about it.

♪

- Nice of you to show up.
- Nice of you to tell your husband.

- You know...
- Uh, both of you play nice.

The only enemy in here today is cancer.

♪

- BP is 110 over 60.
- Okay.

Do you have any tingling
or numbness in your legs?

RHIANNON: No numbness.
They just get weak.

Ms. Fletcher, this is Dr. Shepherd.

She is chief of our neurosurgery,

- and she's looked over your scans.
- Rhiannon.

This is my brother Julian
and his husband, Carl.

They... have a vested interest.

This is their baby. I'm their surrogate.

We have a vested interest
because you're my sister.

He's lovable, but annoyingly smothering.

So you can just ignore him.

Please say you're here to
tell me you can do the surgery

without affecting the baby.

Rhiannon, your pregnancy
hormones have caused

the tumor to grow more rapidly.

Removing it would
already be a challenge,

but pregnant at 20 weeks, the
risk is exponentially higher.

Access to the tumor is limited,

and there's a higher risk
of bleeding and clots.

What about waiting a few weeks

until my OB can deliver the baby safely?

It's possible, but it's not guaranteed.

If you don't remove the tumor now,

the pressure on your spinal
cord could paralyze you

or the tumor could rupture,
causing catastrophic bleeding.

Your best option is to terminate.

- No.
- Rhi, we said we could adopt.

You and I are adopted.

I want to do this. I'll do anything.

- I'll sign a waiver.
- No, you won't.

End of discussion.

Three different egg
donors, six retrievals,

eight transfers between
different surrogates

and the last embryo, the
one that worked for you,

is this one.

So before immediately deciding
what my "best" option would be,

take another look.

♪

Let's get some more scans.

No promises, but I
will take another look.

- Thank you.
- Alright.

♪

[SIGHS]

- Dr. Hunt.
- Hmm?

I am on your service
and ready for anything.

GSWs, 20-car pileups.
Whatever you need.

Just keep me busy and elbows
deep and whatever you got.

Music to my ears.

Ronald Meinero, this is Dr. Kwan.

- Ronald broke two ribs this morning.
- Were you attacked?

Yeah, by my own a*s and gravity.

I'm recovering from hemorrhoid surgery.

Slipped gettin' out of the sitz bath.

Ronald needs incentive
spirometer exercises,



Watch him, and let me know the results.

Hey, boss.

Hello, Marsh. You're here with Meredith?

No, I'm here to do a kidney transplant.

I thought you might want to assist.

Well, I think I'll pass.

But maybe one of our interns
might get a kick out of it.

Well, listen, there's actually

a groundbreaking angle to this one.

Yeah, it's only been done
one time before in the US.

Come on. I'll walk you through the case.

See if you change your mind.

- I'm all ears.
- [CHUCKLES] Let's go.

CATHERINE: What is taking so long?

Uh, we don't exactly do a lot
of liver biopsies in the clinic.

Oh, well... thank you
for protecting my privacy.

Richard is distracted
for at least an hour.

I had Nick invite him
onto his kidney transplant.

He knows to text me when they're done.

- God...
- You told Marsh?

Do you want to risk
Richard walking in here?

I lied about tacos.

I don't know what that means,
but gallbladder looks good.

- No fluid around the liver.
- There's a lesion here

- on the periphery.
- Mm-hmm.

Looks like a good target for the biopsy.

Okay, now, Catherine,
before we drape and prep you,

you sure you don't want to
reconsider telling Richard?

I think I want to
reconsider my surgical team.

It's a biopsy, ladies.

I tell Richard when
there's something to tell.

Will y'all just get
the damn thing started?

Come on.

- He requested me.
- I know.

What'd you want me to do? Say,
"No, my girlfriend wants that"?

You know I stayed up half the
night studying for that surgery.

Maybe you shouldn't have.

Says the Shepherd.

- What?
- I need to finish up Webber's notes.

If it were you, you would
have taken it in a heartbeat.

Griffith, change of plans.

You and I are scrubbing in on
a transplant with Dr. Marsh.

Meet me in OR 1.

Chop, chop.

♪

TEDDY: Is there another surgical option?

- I don't see one.
- Is that her diaphragm?

JO: Yeah. The pregnancy
shifted her internal organs up.

Makes the tumor harder to access.

What if you embolize
the feeders to the tumor

to stop it from growing?

AMELIA: It's too late.

Even though it's benign,
the tumor is big enough to be a risk.

There's no good alternative.

Well, anyone who's gone
to four different surgeons

isn't looking for a second opinion.

If we say no, she's just gonna
try to go to someone else.

♪

Tom. Big day. How are you feeling?

Mm... [CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY] anxious.

I'm much happier serving the
OR table than being on it.

I'm a scrub nurse at Hope General.

Are you not gonna intubate him first?

No. Not today. Uh, let me present...

Tom Costello, 33, here
for a kidney transplant

without general anesthesia.

- An awake surgery?
- It was in the pre-op file.

Under "Awake Surgery."

He's been given a mild sedative
and a spinal anesthesia.

Okay, so what are the
benefits of an awake surgery?

- Uh...
- Forgoing traditional anesthesia

can expedite recovery as well as reduce

one's hospital stay,
which ultimately could

- save the healthcare system billions.
- Nice, Griffith.

And I can keep an eye
on my surgical team.

Is he prepared?

[CHUCKLES] Um, Dr. Adams
is... is new to the case,

but I assure you, he's a quick study.

- Mm.
- Okay. You ready?

Uh, how many Raytecs have you opened up?

- 10.
- Uh, go ahead.

- Okay. 10-blade.
- Wait, wait, wait, wait.

Are you sure everything has
been sterilized well enough?

We got you. You can relax.

Alright, here we go. 10-blade.

♪

Thank you. [EXHALES SHARPLY]

[INDISTINCT ANNOUNCEMENT OVER PA SYSTEM]

- Still no advance directive?
- Nope.

And the more I go in there,

I feel like a restaurant host
just trying to free up a table.

I don't want her thinking we're
trying to push a DNR on her.

Well, we're not.

You just need to make sure

she clearly understands
what she's facing.

Did you explain that life-saving
measures can be invasive?

- I used the word "violent."
- That's an understatement.

Well, no matter how old you are,

no one likes to think
about their own death.

So... give her a minute.

Some patients just take a little longer

to listen to their doctors.

I wonder if she would
listen to someone else.

♪

Knock, knock.

I don't know why I said "knock, knock"

as opposed to just knocking.

That's okay.

[CLEARS THROAT] It's a great office.

- Uh, it's the chapel.
- Right. [CLEARS THROAT]

- It's got good light.
- Windows will do that, so...

Uh, we're here, um, about a patient.

It's an elderly woman.

She has multiple comorbidities,

and she's refusing to sign a DNR.

Okay, she has had multiple surgical

and medical interventions,

and another intervention would
probably do more harm than good.

So you're asking me to talk
her into signing the DNR?

I... no. No. Absolutely not. Um...

But chest compressions
on an octogenarian

with bones like toothpicks...
it could k*ll her.

At the very least,
uh, her ribs would snap

and one could puncture
lung, and then we would

- have to intubate her.
- Yeah, really,

this is not what I... do.

Um, my comfort zone is a little more,

you know, "Am I gonna
see my dog when I die?"

I... I think that she's struggling

with... her own mortality,
and I thought that

you might be able to help
her understand her options.

[SIREN WAILS IN DISTANCE]

- Dr. Hunt?
- OWEN: Yeah?

I just finished another session

of spirometer exercises with Ronald

- and discharged bed 2.
- Great.

If you need me anywhere else,
I can handle multiple cases.

Well, we have a scalp lac in bed 1.

Yeah, I'll take a look. Um...

I am interested in exploring
trauma as a specialty,

and I would love to work
on... bigger traumas.

Ah.

Kwan, traumas are traumas.

It doesn't matter if
they're caused by g*nshots

or wildfires or falls in the bathtub.

Ronald babysits his
granddaughter every Tuesday,

and he is a ping pong
legend in Washington state

and he wants to get back to both
of those things as soon as possible.

Carla, in bed 1, she split her
head open sliding in to home plate,

but she's excited to play in
the state semifinals next week.

They're all counting
on you to help them.

But if they're not exciting
enough for you, then...

- I'll go check on them.
- I think that's a good idea.

No one can accuse you
of having a dull career.

- Well, I've tried to follow my heart.
- Aww. Isn't that sweet?

You know, I'm more of a "dance with
the one that brung ya" kind of gal.

You know, jack of all trades is great

if you want a job at TaskRabbit,

but... but for a surgeon?

I think you'll find that
I'm a very good surgeon.

Oh. Okay.

"Enthusiastically
recommends... himself."

In addition to my four years

as a general surgery resident,
I was a firefighter for five

- and an anesthesiologist for seven.
- Mm-hmm.

When I set my mind
to something, I master it.

Right. But what happens when the next

- shiny object comes along?
- I...

- You gonna leave me high and dry?
- No. I wo...

Surgery, it's a calling.

It requires patience,
commitment, stick-to-itiveness.

If I may be frank, I...

I'm not sure you have what it takes.

♪

[CHUCKLES]

You want commitment?

I've carried people
down 10 flights of stairs

wearing 75 pounds of gear.

You want patience?

I convinced a hopeless teen

to step away from the ledge.

Stick-to-itiveness? [CHUCKLES]

I've been happily married for 12 years,

and I have three children that
I love more than any career.

So if you don't want to
bring me back, I'll be fine.

Thank you for your time.

♪

- You're saying you can do it?
- I'm saying I'll try.

Because I think you are someone

who doesn't like to
hear no for an answer.

And so am I.

I told you. You wanted to give up.

- I told you it was possible.
- Now, I didn't say that.

I don't know if it is.

This surgery will increase
the risk to yourself.

And we don't know that
we can save the pregnancy.

If there are any complications,

I will put your life and health first.

- I still don't feel good about this.
- I don't either.

I want to do this.

Okay. Dr. Yasuda will
admit and prep you,

and we will see you in the OR.

♪

Okay, Catherine, I'm going in,
so you may feel some pressure.

I'm good under pressure.

And you better be, too.

[CHUCKLES]

Good hemostasis.

Put a rush on that,
and, uh, be discreet.

[MONITORS BEEPING WILDLY, CATHERINE GROANS]

- Oh! Damn it! She's hemorrhaging.
- Okay.

She's bleeding from her esophagus.

Let's get her on her side. Suction!

Hold on, Catherine.

Nurse Linda, let's hang a unit of blood.

I'm gonna get the intubation tray.

You're gonna set up an EGD

and let the IR suite
know we are on our way.

- On it.
- Alright. We need to put in a shunt.

Okay.

- This is more than a biopsy.
- And what are you saying?

I'm saying that even
if we stop the bleeding,

she could go into liver failure.

She might never wake up from this.
Richard needs to know.

♪

Okay.

♪

Okay.

[MONITOR BEEPING STEADILY]

Okay, it's in.

Adams. Let's see what you got.

Uh, can we pause for a
needle and sponge count?

Okay, we already did one.
We'll do another one before we're close.

Okay. Can't be too careful.

Last month, a patient went septic

after the surgeons left
a lap pad in her abdomen.

Okay. Bokhee, can you count, please?

One, two, three, four, five,
six, seven, eight, nine...

- 10. We're good.
- NICK: Great.

- [CELLPHONE BUZZES]
- Oh, sh**t. Griffith, can you...

Check the phone while
Adams sutures? Sure.

Yeah.

_

It's Dr. Grey paging Dr. Webber.

Well, she doesn't know I
got pulled into a surgery.

I'll check in with her later.

It says 911.

You should go.

No, no, no, no, no one should leave.

Now, look, I'm sure it can wait.

How many cc's of blood have I lost?

Richard, you need to go. It's your wife.

Meredith is doing a procedure on her.
You need to go.

♪

- Where is she?
- SIMONE: IR suite.

♪

Make sure to stay upright.
Very good. Good job.

- [SIREN WAILS IN DISTANCE]
- OWEN: What have we got?

RONALD: I'd be better at
this if I played the tuba

- instead of ping pong.
- Let's get him inside. Let's go.

Okay. Car flipped
over the median, GCS 7.

He was intubated in the
field. Vitals are unstable.

We might have to take
him directly up to the OR.

Kwan. Trauma one.

Okay. Keep going,
Ronald. I'll be right back.

- JULIAN: Dr. Yasuda.
- Orderlies are on their way

to bring your sister to the OR.

Thanks, but that's not what I...

- Do you have siblings?
- Yeah, I have eight.

I just have Rhi.

When Carl and I first started
looking for a surrogate,

she insisted that no one
would take better care

of the baby than Auntie Rhi.

I said no, but after
all the failed attempts,

she offered again and she was
so determined that I didn't fight it.

Then they found the tumor.

Am I gonna regret not fighting it now?

I don't really know, but, um...

Dr. Shepherd and Dr.
Altman are both excellent.

Aren't you a doctor?

You must have an opinion.

I... I wish I could
tell you it'll be fine,

but I just, I don't know.

I'm sorry.

♪

MEREDITH: We have 500 cc's
of blood in the NG canister.

BAILEY: Advancing the guidewire

I'm in the right hepatic vein.

Aim anteriorly.

What happened?

We were doing a liver biopsy.

- She started bleeding.
- So you do a TIPS procedure?

I'm about to put in the shunt.

- Is she in liver failure?
- MEREDITH: Not yet.

We're trying to prevent that.

She wanted to get the
results of the biopsy

before she told you.

♪

Take care of her.

I'll be waiting outside.

♪

- Okay, Tom, we're almost done here.
- Uh, can we do a final count?

Yep. You got it. Go ahead, Bokhee.

- I don't hear counting.
- It's 'cause it's in our heads.

Are you sure that the kidney is pink?

Tom, how many kidney
transplants have you done?

- None! But I have seen so m...
- Well, I've done more than 600,

and I've had one done myself,
so I get it's unnerving

being on the table, but
everything is under control.

- Okay? We got you.
- Okay.

- Okay. Looks good.
- [WHISPERING INDISTINCTLY]

♪

What?

- We're missing a Raytec.
- [SIGHS]

Let's count one more time.

Okay.

Well, my faith is based on a belief

that God doesn't abandon me in death,

w-which I personally find comforting.

- Good for you.
- O-Of course, you know,

everyone has their own
relationship with death.

It's okay and perfectly
natural to fear it.

[SCOFFS] Not me.

I'm not afraid of death or... or hell

or coming back as a bird. [CHUCKLES]

Well, we're not encouraging
you to sign the DNR.

We just... want to make
sure that you understand

what not signing it
would mean for you when...

For the last time, I know what it means.

And I know why I'm not signing it.

I refuse to die before
my b*stard ex-husband.

I'm gonna outlive that SOB

if it's literally the last thing I do.

Uh, it seems like you
could use some closure.

Hell, yes!

Closure on his casket

before it clicks shut
so I can dance on it.

♪

- I did not see this coming.
- Not a chance.

Things they don't teach
you in divinity school.

Well, they don't really teach
it in medical school, either.

Oh! Victor Suarez. [CHUCKLES]

Margins look good.

I've got proximal control.

Yasuda, suction.

- AMELIA: I've got distal control.
- [MONITOR ALARM BEEPING]

We've lost neuro signal to the legs.

We need to get more blood
flow to her spinal cord.

- Bolus her with 500 cc's of LR.
- MAN: On it.

- JO: Anything?
- No, and we don't have time

to wait for it to kick in.

- Start her on pressors.
- [BEEPING]

Late decels. The pressors are
decreasing blood flow to the baby.

Still no signal. Go up on the pressors.

- Give the fluids a chance to work.
- Mom's life and health first.

- I know it may take a few seconds.
- Rhiannon's spinal cord

- may not have a few seconds.
- Doctors...

Hold off. If you don't
stop, the baby will die.

Go up on the pressors. I am
the primary surgeon on th...

Just stop!

This is a human being on the table.

She is someone's
daughter, someone's sister.

She's counting on us to save her

and ideally the baby, to stop arguing

like she's some kind
of science experiment!

Just figure out what you do and do it!

♪

[STEADY BEEPING]

TEDDY: We've got blood
flow to the spinal cord.

Decels stopped. Sinus
rhythm's back to normal.

Thank God.

- But, Yasuda...
- Yep. I'll see myself out.

♪

- [WHISPERING] Do you see it?
- [WHISPERING] No, I don't see it.

- It doesn't mean it's not still in him.
- Are you whispering?

[CLEARS THROAT] No. Sorry, Tom.

It's just a bit of a frog in my throat.

[WHISPERING] Search everywhere.
Search the field, search the floor.

We cannot close until we find it.

[WHISPERING] Back table.

[HIGH-PITCHED SQUEALING]

- Sir? You okay?
- I'm really not.

I am trying to trust
you, but I know the sounds

of the instruments
when they hit the tray.

I listen for them so I can count.

- Yeah.
- [TOOL CLATTERS]

Easy. That was a hemostat.
But the sponges...

the sponges don't make any sounds.

You're doing great. We're
almost there. Hang in there.

That's septic patient that I
was telling you about.

- Mm-hmm?
- I was the one who

miscounted the lap pads.
And I am always so careful.

- So if it could happen to me...
- It... It happens.

Nobody's perfect. Deep breaths. Okay?

- Why are you staring at me?
- I'm not. Dr. Marsh.

- What?
- Find the damn thing.

Dr. Marsh. It's...
it's stuck to your shoe.

♪

- [EXHALES SHARPLY]
- [LAUGHS SOFTLY]

Thank you. Okay.

The, uh, the anastomosis is complete.

We have 10 Raytecs accounted
for. We're ready to close.

Dr. Griffith, why
don't you take the lead?

Absolutely.

TOM: Are you sure you don't
want to do it yourself?

- Tom.
- Sorry.

DONNA MAE: Reese and I met

working in his father's furniture store.

On slow days, we'd sit
on the showroom couches,

laughing and talking.

- Oh, that sounds nice.
- Oh, it was.

Then we got married, and
everything went to hell.

Our first fight was during the
wedding, and it never stopped.

The only good thing that
came out of that relationship

was my sleeper sofa.

Mrs. Clarkson, we have some news.

We found your ex-husband.

Is he living with that rat Sheila?

He was living at

- the Oceanfront Assisted Living Facility.
- Oh.

But a couple of months
ago, he passed away.

Donna Mae, how are you feeling?

[LAUGHS]

Oh! [CHUCKLES]

♪

[CRYING]

♪

I know it sounds crazy,

but I'm gonna miss that... horse's a*s.

[CHUCKLES SOFTLY]

♪

[EXHALES SHARPLY]

I'll sign that DNR now.

♪

How are you holding up?

Bailey send you?

[EXHALES SHARPLY]

Uh, yeah.

You know, at the fire academy,
there was a, uh, a "burn building"

where they would
simulate structure fires.

It's, uh, it's our first
time dealing with the heat,

smoke, the gear.

It's intense. Pretty scary.

And it wasn't even the real thing.

But the scariest part wasn't the fire.

It was... it was not
being able to see my team

through the smoke and
chaos, and somehow...

... there was nothing
more terrifying than...

just that...

that feeling of being alone.

♪

Is there a point to this story?

Not really.

♪ Shaking hands ♪

Did the biopsy go smoothly?

Um, if by smoothly you mean

having to convert to an
EGD and TIPS procedure,

then, yes, it went very smoothly.

♪

Did you hear from pathology yet?

- Not yet.
- ♪ ... when I close my eyes? ♪

- But for now, you're alive.
- [SCOFFS WEAKLY]

And also your... husband is
outside waiting to see you.

You told him?

It... became more than just a biopsy.

I understand.

♪ Feels like I'm falling ♪

- Thank you.
- ♪ Feels like I'm crashing ♪

I'm sorry, what?

Thank you, Dr. Bailey.

I know I've been stubborn
and very difficult, and...

But you are a big part of
what makes this hospital great,

and you... you should always be here.

[SNORTS SOFTLY]
Is that you giving me my job back?

Don't make me say it twice.

[GASPS]

- Oh! [LAUGHS]
- [LAUGHS] Ohh.

- Oh, I'm sorry.
- [GROANS]

Oh, yes. Okay.

♪ Mm, ooh ♪

So she's gonna be okay?

She had some blood loss,

but I was able to remove the tumor,

and she and the baby are both okay.

Oh, my God, she was right.
She said you could do it.

- And she was right.
- Thank you.

I can't tell you how much
this means to all of us.

Well, we'll check on her in the morning.

♪ Before this darkness takes me ♪

I'm sorry if I seemed
mistrustful earlier, I just...

I'm her older brother.

I've always watched out for
her, and I felt helpless.

I get it.

My brother...

♪ Hold me steady ♪

... he watched out for me, too.

♪ Whoa, oh ♪

♪ Hold me steady ♪

♪ Oh ♪

♪ Hold me steady ♪

♪ Hold me, hold me ♪

Meredith, you looked me in the eye

and you lied.

♪ Hold me steady ♪

I'm sorry.

It was hard enough to get
her to agree to do the biopsy.

- I'm sure you can relate.
- How long have you known?

What does that have to do with anything?

Do you know how many times
I've stood up for you?

How many times I've
defended you, Meredith?

I tried to get her to tell you.

And you don't think I would've
been able to handle it?

♪

- I think she was scared.
- That's exactly

why you should have told me.

♪

Shame on you.

- ♪ Hold ♪
- [SIGHS]

♪ Hold me steady ♪

Dictate the operative report, and
then check his H and H before you go.

- You got it.
- Good work today.

So, are you still thinking
about going into trauma?

Yeah. I like the variety of patients.

Listen, some days are
slower than others,

but... most days there is
something interesting.

I don't know if I want
to be the guy waiting

around hoping for a car wreck.

A man was in a medically
induced coma from a brain bleed.

His life will never be the same.

His loved ones will never be the same.

♪ I'm keeping warm ♪

Oh, and, uh, Robertson is gonna
take over the post-op care.

But if there are signs of early
graft rejection, I want to know.

- Okay.
- Okay?

♪ They say I lost a
piece along the way ♪

Excellent work today.

[EXHALES SHARPLY] Thanks.

I heard you're repeating intern year.

Yep. Yeah.



and barely getting to operate.

Well, I don't... I don't
think that's such a bad thing.

Internships should be two
years, 18 months minimum.

We expect you to learn
too much, too fast.

- You're gonna be more prepared.
- You don't think I'll lose ground?

If you wanna keep leveling up,

you work with people
that make you better.

Like Griffith.

She's good. You stick
with her, you'll be fine.

♪

Congrats on Rhiannon. Such a victory.

- Well, it's a team effort.
- You took the lead.

- Just say thanks.
- Thanks.

So I was catching up on some admin work,

and these are charts of 15
patients similar to Rhiannon,

and they all asked to see you.



Patients with seemingly impossible cases

who have been turned down at
hospitals across the country.

People who have only been told no.

- And they wanna see me?
- Well, they all say the same thing.

They want the neurosurgeon
who is working on the cure

for Alzheimer's to take them on.

♪

Impossible cases.

Well, until you get your hands on them.

So... think about it.

Hi.

I was, um, completely
out of line in the OR,

but I'm glad Rhiannon
and the baby are okay,

and I'm really sorry.

Your outburst was inappropriate,

but you weren't wrong.

Uh, Dr. Altman, do you have a minute?

Sure.

♪

Miranda!

Here to walk me to the curb,

to which I have just been kicked?

I came to say sorr... Goodbye. Thanks.

Oh, no. I don't hold
anything against you.

No.

No, you, uh, took care of the boss.

Can't compete with that, right?

Plus, I take it as a sign that I am...
I am needed elsewhere.

- That's a nice way of looking at it.
- Well...

Okay.[CHUCKLES]

I hired Ben Warren.

- I'm s... You what?
- Well, I just...

I forgot how hard this job is.

I never seem to be able
to do it as well as you.

The interns don't want to listen.

Sure don't want to laugh.

Sometimes they don't
even wanna do the work.

But Ben Warren does, and he has.

Plus, I thought that with
all your recent troubles

that you didn't need
the whispers of nepotism

following you around.

No, no, no. Ben Warren is a keeper.

Thank you. I really...

Thank you.

♪

Yep! [CHUCKLES SOFTLY]

- I'm sor... No. Oh.
- Oh! Oh, oop!

- Beep-beep-boop.
- [CHUCKLES]

Oh, and by the way...

I promised the interns a retreat.

[LAUGHS] Sounds fun, yeah?

[GIGGLES]

♪

I saw the OB appointment
on our shared calendar.

- Oh, yeah. Forget that.
- What?

I rescheduled a knee
replacement so I could drive you.

Well, A, I can still drive,

and, B, I decided to see someone here.

I had a patient today

who was willing to risk
her ability to walk,

maybe even risk her life,
to save her pregnancy,

so I figured that I can
sacrifice a little privacy

if it means giving
our kid the best care.

- Okay.
- Okay.

This isn't because of the
thing I said about DeLuca?

- Well...
- [LAUGHTER]

[SIGHS]

[CLEARS THROAT] Decaf and biscotti.

To thank you for your help today.

- You know they pay me, right?
- [CHUCKLES]

- Well...
- How's Donna Mae?

Alive and kicking.

One of the orderlies, to be exact.

[LAUGHS]

I bet you don't see a lot
of patients like her, huh?

You'd be surprised.

Humanity is lovely, but, uh,

a lot of people are nightmares.

- What? Too... too judgy?
- No!

I like it.

- Makes you feel a little less saintly.
- Mm.

I mean, you give pastries to nurses.

The barista comps me.

We... we hooked up last year, so...

Kidding. It was two years ago.

- Also kidding. No.
- [BOTH CHUCKLE]

I actually, uh...

I don't get many matches on the apps.

Maybe it's 'cause I'm too
forthcoming about my job,

but, uh, I don't want to
spring it on people either.

Mm.

[EXHALES SHARPLY]

- Oh, wow.
- Oh!

- Yeah.
- That's good.

♪

I'm... I'm sitting right
here. You could just ask me.

MEREDITH: Like viruses,
we also wear masks.

We disguise ourselves to hide the parts

we don't want to be seen.

♪ Take me to the earth ♪

♪ I wanna run wild ♪

We project confidence
when we're insecure,

toughness when we're vulnerable,

and calm when our lives
are spinning out of control.

Bringing up your family
name was out of line.

It was not your fault. He requested you.

I could have said
something... but I didn't.

And that competition
is gonna make us better.

And we're pretty great together, right?

Mm.

♪ Falling fast I feel it all breaking ♪

- You said "girlfriend" earlier.
- I did?

♪ ... will heal, heal me ♪

- Oh, yeah, I did.
- Okay.

♪ Feel the water clearing
softer now, healing ♪

I'm cold.

♪ Everything is crashing down ♪

♪ Time will heal me ♪

The difference is
those defense mechanisms

don't always serve us.

I'm not going to ask if you're
okay because I know you're not.

♪

Did I do something?

♪ Tell me something real ♪

My sister Chloe called this morning.

She was diagnosed
with colorectal cancer.

- She's only 22.
- I'm so sorry.

Altman's gonna see someone
here will take her case.

Is... is there anything I can do?

Be my friend.

As great as whatever
this thing between us

was beginning to be, I...

I don't think I can start
anything new right now.

♪ Falling fast I
feel it all breaking ♪

♪ I think time will heal ♪

Yeah. Of course.

- Really?
- Yeah.

♪ Feel the water clearing
softer now, healing ♪

The things we do to protect ourselves

make it harder to let
other people get close.

As terrifying as it might
be to let your guard down,

the rewards speak for themselves.

She looks so peaceful
when she's sleeping.

[CHUCKLES]

Enjoy it while it lasts.

Yeah. How'd she take it when she

- found out Richard knows?
- Better than he did.

Yeah, I don't think
he's gonna speak to me

- for a very long time.
- I'm sorry. Are you mad at me, too?

I mean, for letting me in
after I asked to be let in?

- No, I'm not mad.
- I did that, didn't I?

Yeah.

I mean, I am a little mad.

You haven't asked
about my groundbreaking

- kidney transplant, though.
- I'm sorry.

- How was it?
- It was great. It was.

I mean, it was a little
irritating, but mostly great.

I think it might be the
future of kidney transplants.

- Really?
- Yeah.

I want to hear all
about it on the plane.

Okay.

- Let's go.
- Okay.

♪ Oh, oh ♪

♪ Falling fast I feel it all breaking ♪

Because at the end of the day,

the only person worth being...
is yourself.

♪ Feel the water clearing
softer now, healing ♪

♪ Everything is crashing down
Time will heal me ♪

♪