There it is!
Our boat. Do you like it?
Nice job, Mr. President.
Isn't it a bit small?
It's 600,000 francs!
A bit big then!
It's not how much it'll cost,
but how much it'll make.
Private cruises
are huge in Polynesia,
we're going to make a fortune.
And we'll be living on a beach
in Tahiti, guys!
Exactly.
How long until transmutation?
- One year.
- So it's on!
"Together we are..."
"Stronger!"
You didn't ask me?
But Vinz...
You always say yes!
Yes, it's true.
Team Bioman, let us repeat our pact.
Force Red.
- Force Blue.
- Force Green.
And Force Yellow.
And...
Transmutation!
Ah, I think they're waiting for us.
Article One:
- Honor to the President.
- Thanks, Vice President.
Treasurer...
Manager...
NIB - NANTES INSTITUTE OF BUSINESS
FRATERNITY
20 YEARS LATER
sh*t.
What a drag.
Hello, Mr. President.
What are we doing for our Bioman weekend?
Where is it this year?
It's been too long, man! Call me back!
You're finally up!
Hard to sleep
when your dad thinks he's Miles Davis.
Well, we are in his house.
Because our house
doesn't have a guest room.
There's shopping to do.
Are you going to help,
or sneak off as usual?
Morgane, I just woke up.
It's Passover, it's important.
I'm meeting Dany about our project.
Right.
Dany who builds orphanages in Africa.
Like you're saving the planet!
Get dressed and put on a kippah, please.
I'm not wearing a kippah at 9 am.
Our cousins are coming from Tel Aviv.
Please don't embarrass me.
COHEN REAL ESTATE
Good morning, Pop.
Pop?
Wow! That's a good one.
It's an antique shofar from Jerusalem
made from ram's horn.
- A fine piece.
- Yes.
It was used as a call to arms.
It's important to respect tradition.
- You know that, Bob.
- Yes.
- You want to give it a try?
- No.
- Try.
- No, it's yours.
- Try it.
- Really?
Excuse me. Here...
ALARM REMINDER
A withheld number, at this hour?
Hello?
Yes, that's me,Bob Mimouni.
Can I help you?
Rafael Nadal?
Of course!
Ah, the Eternity chalet in Val Thorens?
An incredible chalet, yes.
- Fifteen million, seor.
- Euros, not dollars.
Euros, not dollars.
Today at 1?
No, seor.
Sorry, seor.
Goodbye.
- Who was that?
- Rafael Nadal's assistant.
You know Rafael Nadal...
Sure! You think I'm an idiot?
Rafa is very interested
in the Eternity chalet.
He and his wife Xisca want to try it out
before buying it.
He wanted to deal with me
as I'm the only one who speaks Spanish.
And you told him "No, seor"?
But Pop, it's Passover.
It's important to respect...
True. But you're going to call him back
right now and tell him:
"S, seor".
I put everything into this.
- 15 million!
- I know.
I sell it,
and I can retire to the Caribbean.
But I was so looking forward to Passover.
Here,
with you and your cousins from Tel Aviv.
I know, I know.
But Rafael Nadal
calling on the day of Passover...
It's a sign.
It's HaShem sending him to us.
It's HaShem... HaShem.
Well, if it's an act of God,
I can't fight it, Pop.
I'll race over there. Well, I say race...
I'm not sure my Smart car will give
the right impression of the company.
The brand-new Land Rover Defender.
Its panoramic roof was designed especially
for me.
- That can't fail to impress Nadal.
- No.
Enjoy it.
But not too much.
No, of course.
Careful with Nadal and his amigos.
Until he signs,
it's not Ibiza in my chalet.
No.
OK.
Bob, it's Dany.
Move the pots, he can't park.
- I've been asking you for days.
- They're too heavy to lift.
Dany...
...Frydman!
Start-up champion of the world!
No, Ilan. Only of Europe!
What a guy!
- Are you staying for Passover?
- Of course he is.
Hello, Bob.
Hello, Dany.
Come on, let's go.
There's champagne inside.
So, Dany, did you think about my offer?
Yes, it's interesting.
- It would be nice to work together.
- Sure.
- Hello?
- OK, I've managed to get away.
- Operation Bioman is on!
- I hadn't heard from you.
Awesome. I'll do the same. See you soon.
Ladies and gentlemen, excellent news.
We have a new partner.
Continue without me.
I'm leaving for the weekend.
But tell us this.
Have you thought about our raise?
Yes. Yes, I've thought about it.
But I have to leave now,
so it might be difficult.
- It's not negotiable!
- Really?
No way!
- Then I say "yes".
- No!
That's better!
Sweetie, Mommy's leaving now
to open a new hotel.
- Will you call us from Dubai?
- Yeah.
But it's tough with the time difference.
Will you need a down jacket in Dubai?
It gets cold in the desert at night.
It's not some stupid Bioman weekend?
No, Mom, I'm not going to see my friends.
It's an important presentation
to important people in Dubai.
Good luck, Mommy.
Bye, honey. I'm missing you already.
Look at this car!
I've had a good year,
so I decided to treat myself.
Are you as rich as Max now?
It's OK, Vinz, it's not a competition.
Ready for transmutation!
- Transmutation!
- Transmutation!
Scorched earth in the wind
Stone moorlands around lakes
It is for the living a bit of hell
Connemara...
Look, no hands!
Antisocial, you're losing your cool!
Think again about
all those years of service!
Antisocial,
soon will come the years of abuse!
All of these years you can't get back!
Antisocial...
Antisocial...
Antisocial...
m*therf*cker!
Didn't even apologize!
Hey, Uncle. He flipped us the bird!
Antisocial...
as*h*le!
Don't worry, we'll find you, as*h*le!
Son of a b*tch!
Wow! Is this your chalet?
Yeah, as I said, I had a good year.
This isn't a good year,
this is the Euro Millions jackpot.
So...
what do you think of it?
Mazeltov!
- This is not very "antisocial".
- Not at all!
It's an investment.
I've put everything into it.
I sell it,
and I can retire to the Caribbean.
Ready?
If you'll please follow me inside...
After you.
- Oh, yes.
- Not bad!
- Must've cost a fortune.
- I'm very pleased with the results.
I bet.
- How much?
- You can't afford it.
Plus, I invested in promising artists.
Like Ioshi Kawara.
"A Chamois in his seed".
His seed?
The artist's or the chamois'?
Because that's a lot of sperm.
This is a De Jaeger.
And this is a monochrome by Malevitch.
If you squint,
you see the Carcassonne skyline at sunset.
Magnificent.
The master bedroom.
I had the parquet
especially shipped in from Bali.
- How many rooms?
- Six.
- I have 3 girls and 3 exes.
- Forget it.
- You can't afford it.
- Right.
Let me introduce you to someone.
The view, my friends.
My friends, the view.
There are the slopes.
- And that... is Mont Blanc.
- Not bad.
And the pool... The pools, plural.
Because there's one inside
and one outside.
Transmutation!
- What do you think?
- Wow!
Cohen the Barbarian!
He can't do anything without me.
- Don't answer.
- No, I have to.
He's totally senile.
Hello, Pop.
- What now?
- I don't like your tone.
Sorry, I was just...
It's nothing to do with you.
- How's it going with Nadal?
- Muy bien.
Muy simptico. He's really nice.
Very modest.
And he seems
- very impressed with the chalet.
- So he's buying it?
He's not sure yet,
he has a few reservations.
- Such as?
- He says there's a lot of wood.
It's a chalet! What did he expect? Clay?
Come on.
- Let's party!
- She made us new Bioman costumes.
I'll just finish my call.
- Yes...
- Hello?
Un momentito, Rafa.
This is promising.
He wants to go for a drink
- to discuss it further.
- Great!
If he signs,
there's Piper in the cellar.
It's worth more than the GDP of Bolivia.
Go easy on the booze.
I don't want "Sponge Bob"
calling at four in the morning.
What's she talking about?
I'm working here.
"Sponge Bob" is in the past.
She knows that. Mierda!
We don't care.
Just get the matador on board.
- Exactly.
- Call me when it's done.
Hasta luego, Pop.
OK.
Ilan, you've no shame.
Making him work on Passover.
You already have him doing evenings
and weekends.
Poor old Bob.
Always has to travel on Jewish holidays.
Luckily, they're nice destinations.
St-Tropez, Biarritz, Val Thorens...
I guess it isn't so bad.
- Shalom!
- Shalom!
- Shalom!
- Shalom!
Shalom to the Cohens!
Shalom to the Cohens!
Half man, half robot
- Force Red!
- Green!
- Yellow!
- Blue!
Bioman
Bioman
Defender of the Earth!
There's a spot right out front.
What was that?
All is all right!
What the hell!
- Oh, sh*t!
- Are you hurt?
- No, I'm fine.
- What happened?
Where did you come from?
Are you nuts? This is my landing zone.
What landing zone?
You just trashed my car!
"You trashed my car!" Chill. It's nothing.
- I almost died!
- "Nothing"?
My 150,000 car is "nothing"?
"The Schlong" strikes again!
What the f*ck?
You call that nothing? as*h*le!
Hey! Calm down, Power Ranger!
No one died here!
Hey, he's a Bioman!
Power Rangers was the American adaptation!
Max, who gives a f*ck? The car!
I'm gonna tase yo' asses!
f*ck, man. You scared me. Are you OK?
You sure you're OK?
He did it! Yes, Papa!
Are you stupid or something?
Take it easy, man.
- I'm not gonna tell you again!
- Calm down, guys!
I can write you a check. Here...
Let's not fight over a car!
Either he calls Safelite,
or I call the cops!
I'll call the cops!
Nibs, we've only been here an hour
and we already have trouble!
- Spring Break! f*ck yeah!
- f*ck yeah!
Together, we are...
Stronger!
That's our motto!
Stronger!
Bob, wait, they're Nibs like us!
I don't give a f*ck!
Hey, guys, we're Nibs too!
- Look!
- Class of 2001.
Team Bioman. Force Blue, Vice President.
- Force Green!
- Treasurer.
- Force Yellow.
- I was the manager.
And he's Force Red, our President,
a.k.a. Sponge Bob.
- Who cares?
- Max, never mind all that.
- Call Safelite, or I call the cops.
- What's up?
Why is he so upset?
Someone damaged his Land Polluter?
It's electric, fool!
Does that mean you can park
in a pedestrian zone?
- In a pedestrian zone?
- Yes.
There aren't many cars here.
Wear your glasses, man.
That's right, bro. You call Safelite.
You jumped off a roof onto my car.
So you call Safelite, "bro"!
That does it,
I'm invoking Article 3 of the NIB code.
Article 3?
In the event of a dispute
between two groups...
We'll settle our differences right now
in an "alcoholympics".
No, no, no...
You gonna accept the challenge
or sh*t in your diapers?
Nibs, today, the past takes on the present
in an alcoholympics... for the ages!
We have two teams. The first...
Your f*cking Student Council!
The Voldenibs!
The second team
is the Seniors' Student Council...
Team Bioman!
You can only push your ball
at the skittles
once you have drunk your fondue
laced with Ricard!
We got this!
Why do we have two?
On your marks...
Drink!
Hurry up!
Drink! Drink!
- It's disgusting!
- OK, my turn.
Don't stop! Again! Again!
It's all Ricard and no cheese!
Come on, Jess! Pass it on. Go!
Go, Samy!
Go, Vinz!
Hurry up!
I have a weak stomach
and I'm lactose intolerant.
- Go in the ball.
- I'm claustrophobic.
In the ball or pay Safelite!
Go, go!
Go and be the hamster!
Come on, Bob!
Bob! Bob! Bob!
OK, I'm in. I'm ready.
Transmutation!
And they're off!
Come on! Push me.
Student Council go first.
Not so fast! I don't wanna barf.
Barf! We don't care!
Seniors are closing...
You're not pushing!
- We are!
- We are pushing!
Forget it, I'm too wasted!
Vinz, are you OK?
- He's not answering.
- He's concentrating.
We've got a man down!
It's a victory for the seniors.
"Safelite repair... Safelite replace!"
Are you nuts? Look at your buddy.
- Ready, kids?
- Yes.
OK, snowplow turns...
I hope he has his lift pass.
What's that?
What the f*ck!
Mommy!
Where am I?
The 21st century.
Give me your leathers.
I knew you'd come.
sh*t, I'm not used to drinking that fast.
I'm wasted.
Stop crying
because I can't stand a whiner.
What's the matter, little guy?
There's nothing wrong. He's faking it.
It hurts!
Yes, that looks bad.
Don't worry, we'll fix that.
You won't feel a thing.
You distract him while I...
- OK.
- Here goes.
What's your name?
Lucas.
Lucas...
let's play...
He's a 10-year-old kid.
You told me to distract him.
But not like that.
Like in a slapstick comedy.
Like this.
There you go!
No, no. He's fine.
It's an osteopathic technique.
Shut your trap,
or I'll come back at night!
Everyone calm down. He's fine.
as*h*le!
Jeez, Bob...
- Take it easy.
- sh*t, I forgot about him.
There... That should do it.
What's he saying?
He knows I don't speak Spanish.
It's not Spanish.
He wrote it with his mittens on.
Can you understand it?
I haven't understood him for years.
It's easy.
"Endless negotiations. I'm tired."
"I'm tired..."
Oh, that sort of "tired"?
"I worked too much, I'm tired..."
I've had it with you posh college kids!
Last year it was
throwing bathtubs out of windows.
Now it's injuring little kids.
What's next? Set fire to the resort?
Excuse me.
Weren't you a ski monitor?
I did my teddy-bear badge with you.
Shut up.
The local elections are next week.
Objective: re-election.
Since I've been mayor,
"Best ski resort in the world"
eight times!
I won't let you ruin everything.
This weekend is now zero tolerance!
My resort, my rules!
We're sorry, madam.
Madam Mayor.
Madam Mayor. Sorry.
The elite of the nation!
Too stuck up to follow rules?
We understand.
It won't happen again. It's over.
Yes, it is.
Your stupid Spring Break is over.
I'm canceling your pool party.
- What?
- You can't do that.
Just watch me.
Please, ma'am. Be reasonable...
This is Marielle Pichu.
- Yes, Marielle.
- I'm calling
to cancel the NIB's pool party
because they do not respect
the safety rules.
- Thank you.
- Received.
One more transgression
and you're out of my resort!
f*ck this!
I can tell you were never young.
I was young once, but also respectful.
Old b*tch!
Father always said: "Free but dignified".
You should try it!
- Whatever!
- Yes! Marielle Pichu.
I remember now. "Try to stay dignified".
That's what you said when you failed me
for the teddy-bear badge.
See you, Madam Mayor.
Yes, I'll be seeing you!
- No, no...
- We won Article 3.
Put it there! Yes, Papa.
- You call Safelite. That was the deal.
- What? The deal's off.
- Yeah, deal's off, bro.
- You're so selfish.
Because of you,
we have no pool for our party.
Hey, we've got a pool at your place, Bob.
With a sauna
and a cellar full of booze.
- What if Bob were to lend you his pool?
- Obviously, we would call Safelite.
OK, but there are some rules.
- No smoking in the house.
- OK.
- Nobody goes upstairs.
- OK.
And everybody out by 7 pm.
- Sure.
- Of course.
- No problem.
- Wait, do you have sound?
You walk in front of my speakers...
You get knocked off your feet.
Val Thorens...
Slalom...
Schuss...
Ski...
Chalet...
Fondue savoyarde...
Jamn... Schnapps!
You're white as snow.
I have a bad feeling.
I think Bob has gone freestyle
in my chalet.
Look.
He probably switched them off for Nadal.
Stop being paranoid.
It's Passover.
I'm sure Bob is praying as we speak.
Amen.
God, if you exist,
please don't let them break anything.
Belly flop competition!
Spring Break! f*ck yeah!
f*ck yeah! f*ck yeah!
f*ck yeah.
Holy sh*t!
Champagne!
Ilona, I had with Olga.
Yasmina, I had with Lela.
And this is...
Me too! I want some too!
Here...
sh*t, I spilled it on you.
It's OK.
Oh, my God!
And Kim, I had with Ma-Linh.
I said no smoking in the chalet.
They've no respect.
Bob, your place rocks!
Yeah, awesome. Thanks.
- And Safelite?
- They're on the way.
Go easy on the Piper!
Go easy on the Piper!
I'm glad your buddy wiped out
the ski school.
We're going to f*ck like beavers.
Pardon?
I never f*cked a MILF.
It's like a marshmallow.
Oh, I love it.
Where is Force Yellow?
- Come on. Relax.
- Hey, you!
Can you take a photo of us?
- Your code?
- I don't have one.
When you have kids, you'll see.
OK, one... two... three...
Transmutation!
I prefer "Viva l'Algrie!"
There are grungers at the door.
What do I do?
No, it's me, man.
And you are?
Force Yellow! Sorry.
Come in, please.
What are you doing here?
I'm doing a balloon. You want one?
- Yeah, I don't know...
- Here.
Terminator,
you mind if we have a few drinks?
Yes! Make yourselves at home, guys.
OK!
Are you guys having a party?
Hold on, I see you like to get high.
I've got the whole alphabet here.
MDMA, GHB, LSD,
PCP, coke, ket, khat...
Wait, I almost forgot.
BBB.
Bim Bam Boom. Totally unique.
It'll blow you away.
I've got a headache, I don't know why.
- Have you got some aspirin?
- No way.
My mom's a pharmacist.
That sh*t is bad for you.
Great!
Duly noted!
- You're good!
- Bye.
Bye. I'm Pablo. Yeah...
- Cool party.
- Yeah?
- Chicks everywhere.
- Really?
Your buddy has taste and money.
That's a Keith Jones.
- Holy smoke!
- What?
- That's a De Jaeger.
- Oh, yes.
They cost bucks.
Pity he hung it upside down.
Oh, yes.
I said nobody upstairs.
This isn't a museum. Everyone out!
Yeah, life's a b*tch. Take it downstairs.
Move along!
- You're back?
- Yes.
- Who are they?
- Who are they?
They're just some friends
who didn't abandon me.
Like you did.
Hey, he also has
antique ram's horn shofars.
Really rare.
- Expensive too.
- Firstly, no smoking inside.
The pool's downstairs,
say goodbye to Night at the Museum.
Chill, dude. We're going.
Why are they all busting my ba*ls?
Don't be such a killjoy.
It's true.
Not bad.
Vinz is alive!
Have your clothes back.
He's right! Everyone get naked!
Vinz! Vinz! Vinz!
I'm going to have myself a steam bath!
That's those f*ck' car.
Now we'll give those m*therf*ckers
a little surprise.
Good work, Raja. Have a treat.
Let's go tell Djo we found the f*ck.
Bob, don't go to bed yet.
- You'll miss the fun.
- I'm just going to get changed.
They're actually quite good kids.
- They paid Safelite.
- I told you.
Their generation is much more...
...responsible.
sh*t, guys, you could knock!
Well, it was open, and it's my room.
The whopper!
The b*stard.
You need the bed?
- We can f*ck somewhere else.
- No, we haven't finished the story.
That's true. Hey, Bob...
Respect, man. Huge sound.
Huge atmosphere.
Huge thanks!
Yes, it's huge, all right.
Everything is.
Of course,
the little f*ck is not answering.
Ilan, hang up and come and dance.
Bob, this is my third message
to ask how it's going.
I'm worried. Video call me back.
The cousins want to see you.
- Morgane, it's Bob.
- No.
Say something to Bob!
You could give us some news.
Bye, honey.
We need to get more booze.
We're running short.
What's wrong, Vinz?
You on a comedown?
It's Sandy.
Look.
"I realize now
that I want to live with you"
So what are you so sad about?
Because I don't want to.
I'm not in love with her.
And you still can't say no?
Yes, yes, that's it. Yes.
You just said yes three times.
- Time to grow a pair, don't you think?
- What?
If you're not OK with it,
flip her the bird. Simples!
- The bird?
- The bird?
A middle finger emoji.
No, I think...
the bird is a bit extreme.
If he can't verbalize it,
why not send a clear image?
He can't go from always yes to the bird.
Why not?
- He just needs a trigger.
- You think?
A trigger you say?
- A trigger.
- How old are you, Force Yellow? 60?
No, a bit less.
- How much less?
- I'm 46.
- 46?
- Yes.
Well...
- 46 is about time to become an adult.
- Yes.
- Flip her the bird.
- Should I?
- She's right.
- Flip her the bird.
- Here goes.
- Yes, that one.
Flip that bird.
Send it!
Go on.
Flip that bird!
I flipped the bird!
No!
I flipped the bird!
I said no!
Marielle, I hope I'm not disturbing you.
- Not at all, Mr. Cohen.
- How are you?
You know,
election campaigns are like mountains:
you have to tread carefully.
"My Party, Riding High"?
I don't like it. Start again.
- We haven't seen you for a while.
- That's why I'm calling.
I have a family problem.
I need to ask a favor.
- You can count on me for your campaign.
- I'm all ears, Mr. Cohen.
Ilan! Put the phone down!
Yes, Marielle.
Look, they made cakes.
So they messed up the kitchen too.
- Are they good?
- Try one!
So what's happening?
It's gotten out of hand,
so the party is over.
It's only just getting started, bro.
Good news! Vinz has learnt to say no.
Go ahead.
Cheers!
Oh, that's perfect.
I need sugar. I don't feel well.
Look at those morons.
Giggling like idiots.
All right, stoners?
Get ready for a little bad trip.
- How's the BBB?
- The what?
It's a root.
- Tibogu, ma'am.
- Iboga root.
A sacred wood from the jungles of Gabon.
Like mushrooms?
Remember when we took shrooms that time?
What a trip!
- We couldn't find the...
- Toilets!
We laughed so hard.
I think this is a little bit stronger.
It affects the brain in three stages.
- Which are?
- Stage one... Bim!
You laugh, you can't stop talking.
With some... difficulty.
- Classic.
- Been there, done that.
Stage two... Bam!
This is the cl*max, bro.
You sing, you're in love.
- But it's hard to define.
- It's never the same twice.
Boring!
- And stage three?
- Stage three...
Boom! Because what goes up must come down.
This stage is different for everybody.
- For some, it opens doors.
- Others end up going mental.
Great! I love it!
You won't catch me taking Bim Bam Boom.
Me neither. That's a big "no".
We don't do that crap anymore.
We're old-school.
By the way, it's 6:36 p.m.
You need to start tidying up soon.
Are you stupid or something?
You just ate Bim Bam Boom.
It's in the cupcakes.
Can't you read? They were labeled!
And for a reason!
Spit it out!
It's too late.
- You're going to be so high!
- Have a nice trip!
Yes, Papa!
expl*si*n!
STAGE 1: BIM
That was the doorbell.
I can't go like this.
I'm too wasted!
Me neither. No, no, no!
I'll go. I got this!
Wait, I'll come with you.
Just say I'm taking a sh*t!
Right...
I don't know what to say.
Don't let her in. She's nasty.
I can hear you, you know.
It'll be hilarious.
Open up!
Don't tell her we're here, OK?
I won't, I promise!
Max, where are you going?
Open this door!
Hello, nasty lady.
How can I help you?
This is going to be harder than I thought.
"This is going to be
harder than I thought."
Hey, "My resort"!
One... two... three...
Viva l'Algrie!
Are you crazy?
Letting off fireworks in my resort
shouting "Viva l'Algrie"?
What's going on here?
It's the NIB, they're having a party.
It's the NIB having a little party.
Barbara, can I say that? I don't know.
I can see you. Turn around!
I see the Student Council is here.
- What a surprise!
- No law against it.
Disturbing the peace in my resort
is against the law.
I'm sure the owner won't like this.
- The owner is taking a sh*t.
- My resort!
You moron!
You should call Bob!
I'm going to call him now...
- Hello?
- Hello...
Ilan...
Hello?
You tased her! That's not cool.
Nobody disturbs me in my chalet!
Incoming call from Ilan Cohen...
What the hell's going on? Hello?
Marielle, can you hear me? Hello?
So who was it?
- The resort!
- The resort!
- What?
- See?
You're the one who's stuck up!
Uncle, I need to talk to you!
Remember those impolite b*stards?
My dog found them.
We'll f*cking k*ll them!
k*ll them!
Hey, this is the life, man!
It's true, this is the life!
STAGE 2: BAM
They can't sing for sh*t.
My ears are bleeding.
Same here.
"Pork meat...
"salt, dextrose...
"glutamate... bicarbonate...
"acidifying agent...
"coloring E64, emulsifier E47...
"artificial flavoring...
"nitrites, glutamate,
"ascorbic acid, palm oil P17,
"coloring E64, bicarbonate."
What do you think?
The moustache suits you!
Great look Fhrer party!
Imagine if Ilan could see you.
Shalom, Cohen.
- I gotta film this.
- Film, film.
Shalom, Cohen.
Just eine little message
from the Eagle's Nest
where we're having eine party
fr Passover!
Passover!
Just kidding.
I'm not really into Jewish festivals.
I'm much more Deutsche Qualitt!
Look, Cohen.
Look how clean and calm it is
in the Eagle's Nest,
und how everything
has been fixed und replaced by
Safelite repair... Safelite....
The car!
The car!
What the hell is he doing?
The car!
You don't give us the finger, you n*zi!
You impolite b*stards. Next time,
I'll cut it off.
Oops! That's not my secateur.
I'll feed your finger to my dogs! as*h*le!
You smashed up Sponge Bob's car,
now Sponge Bob is going to smash you up.
- Who's Sponge Bob?
- He is.
- No.
- Yes.
Get the n*zi.
No!
I can't let you do that!
No! No! No!
Yes!
OK, Sponge Bob?
Disrespect me again,
I'll bang rusty nails into your eyes
with hot pepper sauce! Is that clear?
Yes, sir.
Let's go!
- sh*t, you said...
- Shut up!
No, not right now...
Oh, f*ck it.
You know I'm losing it here.
Yes! Frozen Provenal vegetables.
It's not even insured.
I don't understand... Ouch!
He just got angry straightaway.
We didn't even discuss it.
It's not funny.
Don't make me laugh, it hurts.
What was all that about a finger?
- No idea!
- Whatever it was,
they're really pissed at you!
We didn't do anything to them.
We don't even know those gypsies.
Nothing for it.
I am invoking
Article 8!
What's Article 8?
Eye for an eye!
Tooth for a tooth!
To battle!
Leave it to me.
Article 8!
Article 8!
- Again!
- Article 8!
- Louder!
- Article 8!
- All together!
- Article 8!
Article 8!
- Louder!
- Article 8!
Can you lose the moustache, bro?
It's very antisemitic.
I'm not antisemitic, I'm Jewish.
You'd never guess.
- You're an antisemitic Jew.
- Bullshit!
f*ck the Nazis!
That's bullshit!
- Article 8!
- Article 8!
Article 8!
Don't even think about it!
Come on.
Hey! Spring Break. f*ck yeah!
f*ck yeah!
Look...
There it is!
STAGE 3: BOOM
No! No! No!
No, I won't be quiet.
- What?
- We can't burn the bear.
Vinz, it's not a real bear.
- It's an inflatable bear. Who cares?
- I care!
When I have something to say, I say it.
It's the new Vinz. Get used to it.
OK, then.
We won't burn the bear.
Let's go.
- Wait!
- What now?
I have a better idea.
Can I borrow that?
It would be an honor.
Hello, Bouba.
Look what I have for you, Bouba.
I have some treats for you.
Good boy, Bouba.
Bouba is a good bear. Look...
Here.
You need to come with me now.
You can't stay here.
It's not good for you here.
Come on.
Come on.
So majestic!
Come on.
I'm freeing you from your nasty boss.
Go find your destiny,
little mountain bear.
I'm sure there's a Piglet
out there for you.
Or a Tigger. So be careful.
Go back to your family, little Bouba.
Yes, Papa!
This is the best night of my life!
Sons of b*tches!
I'll get you, Sponge!
Where's Bob?
It's Sponge Bob. Come on!
- sh*t, it works.
- Seriously?
Are you going to sh**t us all?
Uh... yeah.
Where are they?
Put me down, as*h*le!
You disgust me! No!
f*ck you!
Sponge Bob is ours!
Why me?
sh**t Sponge Bob!
What was that?
I think I've been stung by a bug.
What did you say, Vinz?
What the hell happened?
I don't know, but Vinz is unconscious.
Look! A hypodermic needle.
Oh, sh*t!
Vinz, get up! Vinz!
- Hold on, Vinz!
- They want to k*ll us!
Quickly!
Stop!
One... two... three...
Look! The Northern Lights.
...Viva l'Algrie!
Say hello to my little friends!
What does he want?
Long live Algeria!
He set my back on fire.
I'll put this out
and then you're a dead man.
Samy, get in!
Thank you.
I am so glad to see your flag.
You there! Help me!
Help me!
I'm up here.
- What is it?
- Here!
I'm here.
Up here! On the ceiling, you idiots!
sh*t, I didn't see her there!
What's she doing up there?
OK, very funny. Now get me down.
I promise I won't press charges,
I'll pretend this never happened.
Come on, help me down.
But if, for example, we just do nothing?
What will you do?
No, no...
Don't do that!
Hasta la vista, baby.
Come back here!
That's right!
- And we won't be back!
- Run, you parasites!
Junkies! Thieves!
It's not Ibiza.
Enjoy it. But not too much.
I put everything into this. 15 million!
I was so looking forward to Passover.
Leave us alone!
We're all going to die!
That way!
Keep going!
No...
It can't be!
My teddy-bear badge.
TAKE THE HIGH GROUND
Slowly...
OK, they left!
Wait...
- Go on.
- Oh, sh*t!
He's f*cking heavy!
Vinz? Vinz!
Don't leave us, Vinz!
I did a safari with Ilan.
They use these on elephants.
He's going to die.
Vinz, hang in there!
Hang in there!
Vinz! Hang in there!
I found adrenaline.
His heart... his heart!
The T-shirt!
sh*t... sh*t...
So the heart is...
on the left.
There.
Wait... There.
- You sure?
- I saw it in a film.
Pulp Fiction?
A film with Jason Statham.
- You trust Jason Statham?
- Yes.
Don't miss, Roro.
You can't miss.
OK! OK!
OK...
Go on.
Transmutation!
You completely missed your mark!
It was you and your bad vibes!
- Not my fault!
- It's true about the vibes.
- He's gonna die.
- He's gonna die.
He's gonna die.
No!
Vinz, are you OK?
I'm OK.
- What's that?
- Don't look!
It's nothing!
No, no, not yet...
Nobody touches my resort!
We're going to call the police.
Those little b*stards!
Oh, sh*t...
Where are the others?
Where are the others? They're right here!
You wanna d*ck around?
How do you like that?
- Ow! That hurts!
- Not so c*ck now!
What would your mother say?
That hurts!
You're nasty...
You might make the rules at your school,
but here, I'm in charge!
- Better now?
- Yes.
Let's go back to the chalet.
Stop! They're back!
They didn't leave!
sh*t!
This way.
Come on...
Quickly!
Sponge Bob!
Let's go.
Sponge Bob!
I'm gonna tear you apart!
You're a dead man!
You're dead!
Romane!
Quickly!
You're a dead man!
You hear me?
I'll get you!
- Where are you going?
- Come on!
- What are you doing?
- We'll catch them.
We can't catch them.
Screw you!
Screw you!
Oh, sh*t.
- But...
- No way!
You'll see. I've got an idea.
- We're f*cked.
- Yes, we are.
We're f*cked.
That little b*stard.
- Police.
- It's Marielle Pichu.
Hello, Marielle.
It's late, so you're thinking:
"One last drink with Michel."
- No, Michel. I quit drinking.
- Not me.
Right, Burrito? Catch!
Sorry, Burrito.
So, Marielle, what's the problem?
Hello?
Marielle?
It's OK. I'll handle it.
The stars in the night sky
The love of my heart...
Who's she?
Who are you, ma'am?
Your worst nightmare.
f*ck! You old b*tch!
My eyes are burning!
- What now? Do we jump?
- It must be 20 feet!
- Vinz is in no fit state.
- Huh? Yes, I am.
If only we could call the others
to help us.
Wait, Roro.
I have Spring Break f*ck Yeah's number.
Of course. Hey, Siri...
- Call Barbara.
- Call "The Barbarian" cell?
No! Barbara with an A!
- Not "Barbarian"!
- Understood.
- Calling "The Barbarian" cell.
- No!
- No, you idiot.
- That's not nice.
Bob, what is it?
- I was trying you all day.
- Nothing, Pop.
I just wanted to wish you
a happy Passover.
- Chag pesach sameach.
- In the middle of the night?
That sounds like Sponge Bob.
OK, Pop, I'm going to sleep now.
I'll call you tomorrow.
You can stop digging now, Bob.
You're determined to ruin Passover!
It's echoing. I'm on speakerphone.
I imagine you're with your stupid
college pals?
Not at all.
You think I'm a fool?
I checked online.
Rafael Nadal is in Mallorca this weekend.
You invented this whole story
so you could party in my chalet.
You can forget your 0.5%
of the company now.
f*cking loser!
Dipshit!
Pop, seriously.
Don't believe all you read
on the internet.
That's ridiculous.
Nobody is partying in your chalet.
Rafa and Xisca are in their room.
Come see for yourself.
I will. I'll be there tomorrow at 9 am.
If my chalet isn't spotless,
it will be like the Yom Kippur w*r.
Chag sameach, Bob.
sh*t! So it's not your chalet?
- Don't you see?
- No.
It was so huge.
But, Bob...
We've been friends for 20 years,
why did you pretend the chalet was yours?
Because I'm a failure.
But we love you. With or without a chalet.
Or a Land Rover.
sh*t! The car's not yours either?
What's your problem with money?
Funny how guys with money
never have a problem.
You still don't get it.
All I wanted was to succeed with you.
Who backed out on us just before Tahiti?
And why?
To become head of Cohen Real Estate?
No, to be the company's lackey!
I didn't know it would turn out like this.
Then I was too ashamed to tell you
that after I left, I failed,
I didn't succeed like you guys.
I've been pretending ever since.
Every Bioman weekend
I spend half my annual salary.
Bob, your whole life is based on lies.
Don't you ever lie?
Not to myself.
You don't love your wife,
you hate your job,
you go to synagogue
but don't believe in God.
You suck up to your father-in-law
and then wear a Hitler moustache.
You are an antisemitic Jew.
- What did you say?
- What?
Say that again!
Antisemite.
That's enough!
Stop that right now!
Stop!
f*ck!
What a shitty weekend!
It's supposed to be fun!
I'm glad we're friends
after all this time!
But we're being pathetic. f*ck!
OK, it's not your chalet or your car,
but us...
We are your friends, aren't we?
The only thing I like in my life is us.
Team Bioman.
I'm sorry for what I said.
Sorry, bro.
TOURIST OFFICE
A w*r trophy.
It won't come loose.
Hello?
You have to help us.
It's Romane, we're in big trouble.
Unfortunately, we've got a problem too.
- This is serious.
- We're really busy.
We're stuck in a cable car.
Why are you in a cable car?
We have to get it started again.
What do you expect me to do?
Just start the Pclet cable car.
- Alright, we're on our way.
- Please!
Guys, where is the Pclet cable car?
- Pclet?
- Yeah.
Pclet is...
There! It's a red run.
Careful! It's heavy.
My resort!
My resort!
sh*t!
My resort!
f*ck!
Cooey! Pichu! Over here!
Oh, sh*t!
Pichu... f*ck you!
Get away!
It's a dead end, Bozo!
sh*t!
Sorry, ma'am.
Hey, Bouba!
We saved you, now you're saving us.
Viva l'Algrie, Bouba.
One, two, three, Viva l'Algrie!
Anyway, they're wasted,
they'll never come.
They're Nibs, I have faith in them.
With their help,
we could tidy everything up in an hour.
It's not like anything got broken.
Oh, sh*t.
What's that?
What is that?
Oh, f*ck!
Next stop, Val Thorens.
Journey time?
One hour with the chopper.
Passover... Passover...
in Val Thorens!
What are you doing?
They never had Passover in the mountains.
Passover... in the mountains!
No, Dad, I get sick if I go in the back.
Something tells me it'll feel longer now.
Passover... longer now!
- Guys!
- What's that?
It's us!
Up here!
Up here!
Help me to open the door.
Aren't you going to thank us?
We asked you to go over there.
But the keys aren't there.
The slopes open at 8 am.
- We can't wait!
- We have to clean up the chalet.
- Why?
- Because!
Then you'll have to jump.
- It's too high.
- Are you crazy?
But a Bioman can fly.
- Wait! I know!
- Yes!
- What?
- Nice!
Guys, look what we found.
- Awesome.
- This is much safer.
Who's first?
I'll go.
Go, mommy. You got this!
Yeah!
Sloppy. 3/10. Sorry, it's true.
Guys, follow her lead!
Yeah!
Transmutation!
- That was awesome!
- Perfect. 10/10.
Go, Max!
Go for it!
He's scared.
Now let go.
Force Blue.
- The old flop.
- I'm alive!
sh*t! 1/10.
Come on, President!
Stop saying that!
Come on, bro. Today!
sh*t...
Awful.
Zero.
I don't know how your g*ng
has survived this long.
Look at his knee!
Stop!
Told you. 8 o'clock.
Come on, we still have an hour.
- I'll ask the others to come help.
- Thanks.
Hold on to your hat, I'm driving this mat!
I don't like this idea.
No, it'll be fun.
- Didn't some guys die doing this?
- Yes!
Don't worry. We'll take it slow.
Too late for slow! Time to fly, mofo!
We did it!
They're here.
I told you they'd come.
Thanks. You're really saving my life.
What is it?
Is it that bad?
It's complicated.
Yeah, it's complicated.
Were we that wasted?
Who did this?
I swear, it wasn't us.
You might think it, but it wasn't us.
Can't be many people in the valley
who spell like that.
NOW WE IS KWITZ!
Marielle, I thought you quit the booze.
- f*ck! Look at the state of you.
- No...
What happened?
They tased me, and when I woke up,
they had stuck me to the ceiling.
That's when I saw burglars in the chalet.
Hold on a moment.
Cazenave, Janvion, in my office.
Carry on, Marielle.
With my gas g*n,
I gassed two girls who were riding a horse
through the resort while the others
were stealing a sign from my office.
Then I saw a satanic clown
burning my campaign posters.
Excuse me.
Fournier to all officers.
Report to my office immediately.
I chased him, as fast as I could.
I had him cornered, but then I slipped.
I lost my teeth
and I was attacked by Bouba.
- The rapper?
- No!
The circus bear!
He was just wandering around my resort!
It's true!
OK, and was this
before or after you decided to
"handle it" yourself?
Marielle,
you really need to stop drinking.
But I don't drink!
I swear I'm not crazy!
There's a bear in my resort!
Bunch of assholes!
"Attention! There's a bear in my resort!"
Bob, are you OK?
No, I'm not.
Put him on the couch.
Nice and slow.
Hey, maybe all is not lost.
Look what I found.
One left.
We do one last trip,
- and forget everything.
- No more Bim Bam Boom.
OK.
Bim, bam, boom...
What goes up must come down.
We're all in on this.
But we're not guilty.
It was a trip.
But it ended up being a bad one.
You know what? Get out of here, guys.
What?
Cohen the Barbarian
is my problem, not yours.
Just go.
I've never met old people as crazy as you!
Spring Break, f*ck yeah!
f*ck yeah!
See you.
A souvenir, baby.
OK, guys, let's go.
Hey, seniors, it's been legendary.
Come on, Pablo.
As it was offered so generously,
let's smoke it.
Oh, sh*t! I just had an idea.
Oh, this is not good.
- Wait...
- Hear me out...
Wait... Camera....
OK, it's a bit drastic.
Come on!
Run!
- Lighter.
- Here!
Can you define "a bit drastic"?
Gas leaks are common. It's fully insured.
It'll be fine! Don't worry!
I think I might be making a big mistake.
I'm going to film it.
My phone!
What?
sh*t! My phone!
No!
Almost there.
It's magnificent.
You feel so small...
yet at the same time...
...so powerful.
- We said the same.
- We said the same.
Looks like an expl*si*n.
I'm going to go help.
It's only a building.
Daddy...
Out of the way!
There you are.
Can you take this?
It's terrible!
Awful.
- What a nightmare.
- Are you OK?
Bob, you're safe now, thank God.
- Bob.
- Ah, Benyamin.
You're here too. Shalom.
They're all here. Shalom.
- Are you hurt?
- I busted my knee,
like an idiot, going to buy croissants.
It could've been so much worse.
How could it have been so much worse?
Luckily,
Nadal found it too cold in Val Thorens.
Otherwise he and Xisca
would be among the ashes this morning.
It would be a PR fiasco.
Cohen Real Estate
responsible for the death of Rafa Nadal.
Fortunately, I was fully insured.
Yes, that is fortunate.
You can go in now, it's safe.
- Thanks.
- You're welcome.
This is all I could save.
Hi, Bob. Are you hurt?
I busted my knee going to buy croissants,
like an idiot.
Yours, Bob?
No, I have mine here.
- Oh, it must be...
- Probably Nadal's.
- Where are you going?
- I'm...
going to give them my statement.
It still works.
That's strange. No code.
I told f*cking Nadal
that my chalet isn't Ibiza.
Oh, my. That b*stard!
It can't be Nadal's. But whose is it?
Shalom, Cohen!
Bob is n*zi?
Let me. I was a paramedic.
Safelite repair, Safelite replace.
Oh, the f*ck!
It's a bit drastic.
What if we blew up the chalet?
That f*ck!
Leave the gas on... and boom!
That f*ck!
Bob...
Bob...
Bob...
Bob!
You m*therf*cker!
I'm going to f*ck your mother,
your sister, your mother-in-law!
Your grandmother, too! You hear me?
You're f*cking dead!
Hannah, call the f*cking cops!
- Call the cops!
- Right away!
You're a piece of sh*t!
You piece of sh*t!
Seek. Seek Bob Mimouni, Burrito.
That bad man harmed the resort.
Good dog. Seek.
Over here. Seek.
- Has he found anything?
- Nothing.
You lot, out of my resort!
I never want to see you again!
All together.
"See you soon, Madame Pichu!"
"See you, Madame Pichu!"
Get out! Get out!
Out of my resort!
I know he's here, damn it.
That's the Paccionis.
Put it in the truck.
f*ck you, assholes!
Eat my schlong!
Oh, the sons of b*tches!
They're at it again!
I'll get them, Uncle!
Where are we going?
I think I know!
ONE YEAR LATER
Hey, Mimouni, you got a visitor.
- Coming.
- A visitor?
You didn't tell me.
- Didn't I?
- No.
I'll be right back, OK?
Make it quick, babe. I miss you.
Kiss.
- Transmutation!
- Transmutation!
Hi, guys.
FRATERNITY
Bim: the effects kick in.
You laugh, you sing,
talking non-stop, blissed out.
Bam: it's hard to define
as it's never the same twice.
And finally, boom:
what goes up must come down.
What goes up must come down.
Yeah, it's nothing
Fraternity
- Is that legal?
- Spring break f*ck yeah!
They call me The Schlong
Don't let it get long
All night in the frost
I don't feel the cold
I brought my acolytes, ready for carnage
Laughs, pyrotechnics, risks
And taking m*therf*ckers out
Driving a Panda to find a runaway bear
Even if you don't like us
We ain't goin' out like that
The mayor thought she could break us
Smile, I'm a baddie
On the slopes, there's a comedown
Just pay for the damage
Give me a like, pass the gear
Ready to get dirty?
Are you ready to get dirty?
We trash your whole chalet
We ain't drinkin' chardonnay
Ready to get dirty?
Are you ready to get dirty?
We trash your whole chalet
We ain't drinkin' chardonnay
Two characters in my head be brawling
Thanks, Pablo, I won't forget this trip
Don't speak to me
about paying for the damage
You saw someone else, I was in Paris
Bim, bam, boom, bim, bam, boom
Bim, bam, boom, bim, bam, boom
Bim, bam, boom, bim, bam, boom
Bim, bam, boom, bim, bam, boom
Huge party with the Fraternity fam
My big a*s d*ck is a radar for MILFs
My ear is a garage for spliffs
Don't provoke me or I'll bring the beef
Dropping mortars over your mom
q*eers detest me, I'm a massive cabrn
We'll smash it up, everything gone
I'm the snow ball
That starts the avalanche
There are clowns and a bear
And multi-color hair
There are moons and boots
Runny noses and f*cked up fleeces
We're all involved,
But someone had to carry the can
We took a trip
But it ended up very bad
Ready to get dirty?
Are you ready to get dirty?
We trash your whole chalet
We ain't drinkin' chardonnay
Ready to get dirty?
Are you ready to get dirty?
We trash your whole chalet
All our glasses ain't chardonnay
Two characters in my head be brawling
Thanks, Pablo, I won't forget this trip
Don't speak to me
about paying for the damage
You saw someone else, I was in Paris
Bim, bam, boom, bim, bam, boom
Bim, bam, boom, bim, bam, boom
Bim, bam, boom, bim, bam, boom
Bim, bam, boom, bim, bam, boom
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