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01x13 - Hard Rock

Episode transcripts for the TV show, "Biker Mice from Mars". Aired: September 19, 1993 – February 24, 1996.*
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Show follows three anthropomorphic mice motorcyclists named Throttle, Modo, and Vinnie who escape a w*r on their home planet Mars before arriving to rebel on the Earth against the species that destroyed their homeland and to one day return to Mars.

01x13 - Hard Rock

Post by bunniefuu »

[Music]

those g*ons ready to make some money

yeah

and let's start making it the

old-fashioned way by printing it so move

it you schoons

mr limburger wants 25 million

counterfeit dollars by five o'clock

ain't nothing like the smell of fresh

printed fake money in the morning it's

like music to my nose

say speaking of music what's that

oh

what's it mean baby i'll tell you what

it means it means we got mice battle

stations

[Applause]

i knew if we'd fallen three stranded

leaders to limburger's loot no wonder we

could afford to buy a ball of chicago he

prints his own money well it's time we

put a little kink in his cash flow let's

say we spread around some of them

burgers dough huh boys

[Music]

hey donnie marie would you save the

harmonizing for later well if you don't

like our tunes how's about some sweet

georgia brown

[Music]

[Music]

you know you boys really ought to think

about a more honest

[Music]

more future your own future my good

friend looks like i got your tail in the

ring you got tigers by the tail oil

bread let us go you're gonna be a

smoking grease stain on the concrete

what's the matter biker babies don't you

want to see your face on money along

with the rest of you

[Music]

talk about being pressed for cash

[Music]

[Music]

ah

[Music]

so

[Music]

so

[Music]

[Applause]

[Music]

man i always wanted to make a million

bucks yeah but not out of mouse gift we

gotta stop the presses bros moto bang

that drum now

[Music]

sometimes this job just ain't fun

time to settle up accounts

[Music]

didn't your mom ever tell you not to

play with fire

whoa talk about your money going up in

smoke it looks like the big cheese just

got financially burned yeah that ought

to stop him from buying up the planet

for a while hey bros we gotta fire you

that requires a bit of our attention

time to rain on limb burgers parade

[Music]

nothing left but a slush fund let's ride

bros

oh hey metallic crank my favorite middle

master music

makers now that's music to whip tale by

yeah blutakian tale

gee i wonder if bloomberg is going to be

mad at us

[Applause]

lost those best kills

listen to their bothersome bottoms

they've ruined me

sorry boss it takes cash to conquer the

city and now it's gone

whoa is me

i knew he was in trouble the minute i

heard that stinking heavy metal music

will you shut up about

heavy metal yeah that's the music that

mice is always playing when they kick

off that's it

what's it boys

[Music]

i believe chicago is expecting the

arrival of an automated train filled

with alaskan gold

and i believe it will be arriving today

uh you want me to rob the train boss no

you pitiful fortune you'd never be able

to pull it off

i shall turn this task over to the most

terrifying talent in three galaxies

that monstrous heavy metal maniac yummy

yes dear boy hot rock oh he's my fave

i got all these hate tracks

ah i thought you meant to a newton

what's taking so long you cranial

there appears to be a certain resistance

[Music]

my dear lad

how good to see you oh you're

blooming yeah stinking pile of blue

turkey and pork

you didn't you see the not available

sign next to my transporter coordinates

well i ever assumed it was a misprint

[Music]

[Applause]

now send me back

it's just a small job

rub a gold train and get rid of some

metal some mice look maybe i need to

make it clearer fish face i don't work

for plute talk anymore

now send me back

oh dear dear me

i'm afraid i really must insist oh yeah

you and what army well

since you asked

this

oh

i see a point i expected you might now

since the gold train isn't anticipated

to arrive for a few more hours you may

begin by disposing of the biker mice and

i advise you not to fail me now go

[Music]

excitable but extremely effective

you better keep an eye on our musical

metal man

we nailed the big cheese but good today

yep let's go celebrate most style

hot dogs and a heavy metal root beer and

rock and roll oh man it just doesn't get

any better than this

nothing could spoil this day

losing the root beer bottle opener could

you better hang on to it

yeah

quick the battle bros how long have you

guys been into heavy

always have been

always will be

except for that one time yeah some lousy

creep nearly spoiled it for us his name

was hard rock oh man that rocker had one

bad attitude

he tore up a lot of territory on mars

during the plutarchyan w*r

heard a lot of innocent folks

[Music]

so

[Music]

we always swore if we ever met him again

man we'd strip the strings from his

guitar

for keeps

[Music]

[Applause]

[Music]

no it can't be it's hard rock he's got

charlie

yeah

and we got trouble

moto get charlie vinnie and i'll handle

these newcomers

[Music]

[Music]

[Music]

[Music]

[Applause]

uh

[Music]

all right hard rock it's just you and me

now one on one so let the lady go

[Music]

there happy now or should i raise me

hands too what are you up to yeah we

were gonna watch him take you apart no

fun if you surrender

you know i'll get the impression you

blokes don't like me

don't like you

sweetheart i'd rather kiss limburger on

the lips than be on the same planet with

you

hey it's just your standard hero talk

macho stuff you know you destroyed half

our planet don't you remember us i

destroyed a lot of places too many to

remember but that was then this is now

that's not my gig anymore what are you

saying you've gone straight that's right

you see i met this wonderful girl dollar

her name is she changed me for her sake

i'm not evil no more

come on what a bill of goods i don't

know

yeah limburger didn't believe it either

he brought me here told me to destroy

you i pretended i would but i was

actually coming to warn you of his plans

now just a minute you crashed into us an

accident i apologize your grabbed

charlie trying to get her to safety yeah

that's true yeah well you shot at me i

had to make you move faster those

four-wheelers would have landed on you

we had limburger's g*ons with you i

didn't know limburger must have had them

follow me well that's an interesting

story hard rock but there's just one

little problem oh yeah what's that i

don't buy it yeah why should we believe

you uh could i say something here what

i'd just like to say that i think he's

telling the truth and i'd like to hear

more about this darla

uh hello mr lim boycott i got some news

i think yous are gonna find real

interesting i think that hard rock ain't

nothing but a hard head

man i can't believe charlie talked us

into this well look at it this way hard

rock wants to get back to darla and we

want him off our planet yeah same goal

different reasons can't you guys see

that love has changed this man's life

besides you guys are way too sweet to

nurse a grudge this long yeah well don't

count on it charlie gosh lighten up will

ya

you don't know my past i can't say is

i'll blame him

listen pal only reason we're going along

with this is because bad as you were

limb burger's worse in our book that

gives you a running head start but

that's all we still want you out of here

that's right and to do that we need to

get you to limburger's transporter

machine

[Music]

the train's arrival is imminent my dear

doctor i must acquire that gold you'd

never fear my fragrant fromage your

agent of acquisition is about to arrive

all right freeze fish soup

we just need to borrow your transporter

for a minute seems your friend here

wants to go home we're here to make sure

you give him a nice safe ride oh i do

apologize my dear biker mice but i fear

that's not possible uh-huh excuse me uh

let me point out a little something you

may not have realized in cheese face

you see we're holding all the cards here

i mean we've got the numbers we've got

the guts and we've got the g*ns so

basically you just better back off

true all

true

but you see i have the ace in the hole

[Music]

you see

i have invited darling darla as an

incentive shall we say

that's darla if you don't mind me asking

what's so special about her

you'd be surprised

look what is it you want you polluted

lutakian simply your surrender

or this frantic young female will be

free to say foreign

[Music]

with the world factory contains i'll be

able to purchase half this planet for

blue dark no

i told you me i won't be a villain

anymore ah but you forget that you no

longer have a choice the lives of your

newfound compatriots not to mention that

of your sweet companion depend upon your

cooperation and if i do it what then

they will not be harmed

you have my word as a

gentleman they better not be darla i'm

sorry but i've got no choice

every time i try to get out they pull me

back

[Music]

soon that glorious gravy train of

glittering gold will cram the corrupt

coffers of limburger incorporated

and in the meantime what shall we do

with these prisoners

dispose of them

slowly and painfully

what

are you lousy lumpa corrupting cheddar

you gave your word if my word was worth

anything i wouldn't be much of a villain

now would i

tata

[Music]

time to kick out the jams

[Music]

[Music]

hey vincent are you still packing that

bottle opener yeah i think it's still in

my pocket

if i can just get it

only a few more seconds you revolting

rodents and you'll be turned into mouse

mojos a few more seconds is all i'm

gonna need

and we're going for takeout

[Music]

we're back we're back we're mice and

we're mad

oh please we have to help me boo boo

boo

hard rock's first name is boo

yeah well sister you must be in love so

i guess we better get the two of you

back together

[Music]

should do it now for the gold

[Music]

who are you well then you got a choice

pal if we have to blast him we'll bless

you too

i won't do it okay

good decision

[Music]

great timing or what

you chaps are the greatest how can i

thank you for saving my lady haven't you

heroes forgotten something drop your

weapon so this guard is a gunner

limburger sent us to get this gold and

we're gonna get it

but

do you think they ought to get it

dearest i can't think of anyone who

deserves to get it more

right love

[Music]

you know i'm starting to understand what

you see in her vincent express run to

limburger tower the midnight special

coming through

well if you're ever in chicago

[Music]

oh

[Music]

and the next thing you know jesus

[Music]

[Music]

be able to save the train

i'll still get all that glorious gold

yes your cheesiness you certainly are

going to give it

what

no

[Music]

i miss my train

i can't thank you biker mice enough you

know you're more than brave and heroic

you're rather forgiving blokes too yeah

boo boo and roy will never forget you

well it's better to make a new friend

than beat an old enemy

even if that new friend is named

oh never mind them love they're good

chaps

let's just go home all right how will

you get there you you guys trash

carbuncle's transporter machine well we

thought we'd take the scenic route back

that's right

tata blokes

ride free citizens

i wonder if she has a sister oh man

oh

what what

[Music]

but you better not complain boys

[Music]