04x12 - To Germany with Love

[bunniefuu]

[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]

Who's that girl?
What's her name?

Is she cool?
Is she lame?

Oh, you're talking about what's her name

-Pepper Ann!
-Pepper Ann!

Is she lame? Is she cool?

Is she breaking every rule?

Is she anybody's fool?

-Pepper Ann!
-Pepper Ann!

Pepper Ann! Pepper Ann!
Marching in her own parade

Pepper Ann, she's like one in a million

Pepper Ann!
Pepper Ann!

Much too cool for seventh grade

Catch her if you can
Pepper Ann!

-BOY: Who?
-GIRL 1: Is that that girl from gym class?

MOOSE: No, that's me.

GIRL 2: Oh. Who is she
and why does she have her own song?

PEPPER ANN:
Did someone take my lunch?

Pepper Ann!
Pepper Ann!

Marching in her own parade

Pepper Ann
She's like one in a million!

Pepper Ann!
Pepper Ann!

Much too cool for seventh grade

No one's cooler than Pepper Ann!

-She's her own biggest fan, Pepper Ann!
-Oh, a glowing green stick.

Catch her if you can, Pepper Ann!

I am Klaus, I drive a car!

I am Klaus, I go far!

See me ride on ze autobahn!

I hit ze gas and zoom!
I'm gone! I'm Klaus!

I'm Klaus!

I'm Klaus!

MAN: Klaus, the Monocled Monkey
in "Monkey Race, Monkey Win."

To say hello in German
You must say gutentag

To say hello in German
You must say gutentag!

-[TIRES SCREECHING]
-[GASPS] Oh.

Ha.

[TENSE MUSIC PLAYING]

[ENGINE STARTS]

[TIRES SCREECHING]

Whoa.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

[LAUGHS] The driver is me!

[ENGINE STARTS]

[TIRES SCREECHING]

[TIRES SCREECHING]

[CROWD CHEERING]

Three cheers for our winning human driver!
[LAUGHS]

Wrong, Herr Burgermeister!

I am Klaus, the car driving monkey!

And I beat all ze human drivers.
[LAUGHS]

ALL: Not so fast, Klaus!

[GASPS]

[LAUGHTER]

MAN: [SPEAKING GERMAN]

Hello, Pater! Oh!

I am so sorry you had to cancel
your trip to Hazelnut

because of the Edelweiss crisis.

I know your job keeps you in Germany,
but you would just love it here.

Everyone is so friendly!

Let me try it! I wanna try it!

Pater, when last time we talked... Ouch.

...you said you wanted to know more
about life in Hazelnut.

I tried explaining to you in a letter,
but words cannot describe.

Oh! Zat is why I make you a video.

Get away from me!
This is personal sized pizza!

Don't get me wrong,
Germany is special to me, too.

But Hazelnut is just so unique!

Maybe if I can show you
what makes Hazelnut so unique,

you will better understand my life here,
and why I am so happy.

And where else to start our journey,
but... the Hazelnut mall!

Pater, here are Trinket und Cissy.

They are much like Eva and Gretchen
from back home.

Except they are not old, wise,
and sheepherders.

Let's see if they know
of what makes Hazelnut so unique

Move it, Dieter.
You're blocking the Jacob Dylan.

He didn't mean to, sugarlips.

Wait, this is Bob Dylan!

Like, there, there. It'll be okay.

DIETER: I just had this camera...

-Camera?
-Camera?

DISTER: And, um, I wanted to know
what makes Hazelnut so unique.

Well, obviously, it's the generous
contributions to the community

made by caring citizens like me.

I hate volunteering!

And I do you a favor because...

How about we just walk and don't talk?

And it's a real bloodbath out there!

Ew. I just grossed myself out.

I used to feel desperate
and powerless as you,

until daddy bought the amphitheater.

Last ticket, sorry!

Our selfless, tireless efforts
to help others

say more than we ever could. Right, Cissy?

Um, what?

And, like, I would love
to be homecoming queen.

But then, how would I have time
for cheerleading?

Think your mom can, like, date
Mr. Finky next?

'Cause I'm, like, failing social studies.

I promise to forget the little people
on my way up.

This is so last semester.

That movie was so last year.

That is so last episode.

[LAUGHTER]

Okay, I'm surrounded by freaks.

DIETER: Okay.
Trinket und Cissy were a bust.

Maybe someone in this women's apparel shop
can tell us what makes Hazelnut unique.

[GASPS] Pater, look at the pretty
American fashions!

These are called "stretch pants."

Mater likes them because she says
they make her look like Marlene Dietrich.

[LYDIA SNORING]

[SCREAMS] Oh!

Oh, Dieter!
Oh, you scared the bahoozits out of me!

DIETER: Oh, I am sorry.

I am filming a video
for my pater in Germany.

But I see you are busy so...

Dieter, I'll have you know
I'm a very hard worker.

DIETER: [LAUGHS]
Tell me another one, Miss Lydia.

I am a single working mother,
thank you very much.

I'm lucky to get in five hours
of sleep a night.

I balance a career,
two kids, a social life,

and I do it all with a smile on my face!

[SCREAMING]

If the only man in your life
is your kid's principal,

you could be a single working mother.

If you have a large assortment of bags...

lunch bags, bags of groceries,
bags under your eyes, you could be...

CROWD: A single working mother!

LYDIA: Oh, I never knew how many duds
there were in this town

until I started dating again.

Look at me, I'm single, I'm successful.

I'm a catch!

[LAUGHS]

So why is it so impossible
to meet a sane, decent man?

Don't go, I made fritters.

-Hey, Mom.
-Peppie, I'm baking.

Peppie, take these to the other room.

-But...
-You're pushing it!

Come on, Peppie, we're burning daylight!

Peppie! Peppie!

Frankly, Peppie, you're stressing me out!

DIETER: Now we are in Greezy und Cheezy,
home of the Cannoli Stromboli!

This is Tessa und Vanessa.

They are twins who love each other

more than Uncle Uter loves
Gretchen und Eva.

Excuse me, I am filming a video
for my pater in Germany

and I was wondering if either of you know
what makes Hazelnut unique.

-Why, it has to be...
-You. It is definitely...

-You. Why would it be...
-You? Because you are...

The most special sister in the whole...

DIETER: Pater, get a snack.
Use the little kinder's room.

This could take a while.

-We're not really...
-Celebrities.

-Even though we...
-Should be.

-Well, we are...
-The gossip editors of...

The school paper.

-Who did you...
-Say was cute?

Is there a name...

-Attached to this...
-Story?

-Oh!
-Oh!

-Thanks a lot...
-Pepper Ann.

-Um, well...
-No.

-Unless...
-No!

-I guess that...
-Makes sense.

Next to your adorable little Monica,
my Veronica looks...

Totally cute. Just like her mommy.

You look beautiful.
But I am definitely having...

An awesome hair day.

DIETER: Oh, Pater.
So far, no one, not even me,

can explain what makes Hazelnut so unique.

[SIGHS] Making this video
is a fool's mis... Oh!

Oh, Pepper Ann,
can I ask you some questions for my...

No time for questions.

Terrible misunderstanding
with science partner.

Gotta go face the music. Bye!

Pater, could music be
what makes Hazelnut unique?

Music is life.

It is the air we breathe,
the sun that warms our bodies...

Mr. Clapper, will you teach me to play
Let 'Er Rip with my butt?

[MUSIC PLAYING]

Hey.

Yeah.

Twinkle, twinkle little star

When will Pepper Ann stop these lies?

CRASH: I wish I knew

Pepper Ann, what's on your mind?

-Are you crazy?
-Have you told yourself lately

You're one of a kind?

PEPPER ANN: Hey, world
Clear the decks for me

Clear the decks
Just clear the decks

PEPPER ANN: Hey, world
Sign the checks for me

What the heck?
Just sign those checks

Well, don't you fall into the give-up trap

I've had friends that sing
And buds that clap

I got some that drum and some that snap

But what you can do, Stu, is you can rap

You can rap!

Curse you, wandering minstrels!

Shouldn't be here
It wasn't my la-la

Oh, no! Not my la-la!

PEPPER ANN: Boy, I love you boy
You ain't no toy

It's one of my own pieces.

She'll be comin' 'round the mountain
She'll be comin' 'round the mountain

She'll be comin' 'round the mountain
When she comes

Yeah.

[CROWD CHEERING]

She'll be comin' 'round the mountain

When she comes

[GERMAN MUSIC PLAYING]

And thanks to the school's peer
counseling program,

I am much more relaxed now.

I just sing a happy song
and I'm ready to face the world.

DIETER:
I'm happy for you, Crying Girl.

But what I really want to know is
what do you think makes Hazel...

[SCREAMS]

[SCREAMING]

Camptown races sing this song
Doo-dah, doo-dah...

Oh, forget it!

I can't take any more of Pepper Ann's
crazy misadventures! I can't!

Oh, Pater. We should talk to Pepper Ann!

There is no one in Germany like her!

Not only does she have an opinion
on everything,

she plots and schemes
more than anyone I know!

This year, I have a plan
guaranteed to work!

I have a plan for Macabre's removal.

Here's the plan.
Approach school from the north side.

Why is this picture of me so ugly?

So, we've got it all planned.

Okay, this is the plan.

I have to cram 12 years of cousinly love
into seven days,

if I have any hope of getting free rides.

I have to break whatever spell it is
that Carter holds over my mom.

We have to help Nicky
and we have to do it now.

I will undo a lifetime
of hanging out with the girls.

I'll show everyone
that I'm the best employee

Food Barn has ever had!

I'll show Alice Kane.

I'll stand up to Principal Hickey!

I'm gonna change the next person's life
that comes through my door.

I gotta change my name

-and move out of town...
-Okay.

I'm gonna do Nicky
the greatest favor of her life.

Okay, you think about that.

[THUDS]

I told you not to go in that chat room!

I told you, if you just listen to me.

You're not even listening to me.

Will you stop that?

You don't need advice. You need action.

Nicky, the time for talk is over.

Now is the time for action.

I'm taking the bull by the horns.

I'm right! I did it!

I'll do it! I'll do it!

I'll do it myself.

I can do this. I am so ready.

I'm not ready.

The glory has not gone to my head!

I'm gonna play Juliet!

I got a show to do!

[LAUGHING]

Pepper Ann,
can I ask you a question about...

I have no comment at this time.

I'm glad you've come to us, Dieter.

How can we help you?

DIETER: Well,
I was trying to ask Pepper Ann

what makes Hazelnut unique, but...

Pepper Ann is in the middle of learning
an important lesson

about not taking friends for granted.

-DIETER: Uh-huh, so about Hazelnut...
-Don't worry.

As Pepper Ann's close friend,
I know she'll be fine.

Luckily for her,
I'm a stable force in her life.

Luckily for her,
I always keep a clear head.

What was that suppressed chuckle for?

I've had it with you two!

You want a piece of me, dirt bag?

Run, you filthy mongrel!

You ripped the "friend"
out of "friendship,"

and now your ship's
going down alone, baby!

And while you're at it,
why don't you have the shirt off my back!

Get a hold of yourself, woman!
You're in public!

Nicky, you're hurting me.

I feel lucky!

[COUGHS]

Although I excel at it,
I hate the autoharp!

[SCREAMING]

Shut up, shut up, shut up!

Oh, sure, Milo.
Anyone with a selective memory could...

Maybe now we can talk about Hazel...

Take me. I'm always there for P.A..

We see everything eye to eye.

What was that melodramatic scoff for?

You? You?

Who are you suddenly, the Queen of Sheba?

You're just a Wack Warrior
from the Planet Pretender!

No, P.A., I shouldn't have listened
to you. You were totally wrong.

You decapitated my shrub

to further your mad agenda
for landscaping domination.

How could you do this to us!?

For shame, P.A., for shame!

P.A., query.

Are you crazy?

[GRUNTS]

Make it stop! Make it stop!

[SCREAMING]

DIETER: Um, can we maybe talk about
what makes Hazelnut so unique?

Yeah, whatever.

The point is,
P.A. and I understand each other.

And to understand P.A. is to recognize
the many hues of her personality,

intricately woven together
like a complex tapestry.

But if you don't know her,
she may come across as a freak.

Now that's the first true thing
you've said all day.

Greetings, creatures of the light.

I thought I handled myself
with a lot of grace and dignity.

Was that before or after you hurled
in the fire truck?

[BURPS]

[SCREAMS] Oh, Fuzzy! My hair!

It's perfect!

[SCREAMS]

What dumb stuff?
I've never done any dumb stuff.

[DOLPHIN CLICKS]

[GROANS]

-[GASPS]
-Oh.

I'm a pretty loadie floadie,
flip fly amig toady.

Gotcha muchacho!

Hello to your mother!

[SCREAMS]

-Whack...
-Oh.

[PEPPER ANN GROANS]

Oh, is that seventh grader gonna be okay?

Do we care?

Gosh, P.A., we had no idea
how unstable you were.

I am totally fine.

I'm witchy.

It's official, I'm a freak.

No way. That's you, Peppie.

[LAUGHTER]

Yeah, that was a good one.
Oh, oh!

And what about the time when she thought
her little sister was psychic and...

[CROWD CHATTER]

Everyone, I'd like to say that I'm sorry.

I now know that using people is wrong.

Stewart, I, um, borrowed
your science homework to do the experiment

and it literally blew up in my face.

I promise never again
to take my friends for granted.

Not in the science lab, not anywhere.

After all, without friends,
we're pretty much left with nothing.

I forgive you, Pepper Ann.

Just don't let it happen again.

That's it, Pater.

What makes Hazelnut unique
isn't the music or the mall.

It's the science lab!

Oh, for the love of haggis!

It's the unique people
and special friendships

that makes the town what it is.

Even me? Am I unique and special, too?

Of course ya are!

Now, for being so stupid,
fork over your lunch money!

All right! Party time!

We're on the party tip.

Vamos a la par-tay!

Crack out the aerosol cheese and par-tay!

What's a par-tay?

Come on. Don't be shy.
You're a great dancer!

[CHEERING]

[CHEERING]

Oh, honey. Go to your room.

Can you believe it, Pater? [GROANS]

I have been showing you all along
what makes Hazelnut unique!

Ze answer is everyone!

Just like Germany is special
because of you und Uncle Uter

und Eva und Gretchen und...

I know that one day you will be here
with me and Mater

to experience Hazelnut for yourself.

Until then, write back a lot!

Auf wiedersehen!

Why you so touchy feely?

I just wanna try it!

My pizza is gone!

No! I just wanna hold the camera.

I went to film school, you know.

Hm.

[MAN CRYING]

[BLOWS NOSE]

Gina, you sauerbraten!

I can't believe you fell off
of your horse, got amnesia,

und forgot all of our shenanigans...

MAN: [SPEAKING GERMAN]

[MUSIC PLAYING]

[MUSIC CONCLUDING]