01x01 - The First Face Off: Part One

[bunniefuu]

[theme music playing]

♪ On the road to glory ♪

♪ Ain't no turning back ♪

♪ It's got to be
the Mighty Ducks ♪

♪ On a quack attack! ♪

♪ Look out, clear the way ♪

♪ The Ducks
are here to play! ♪

♪ Ducks rock! ♪

[fans cheering]

[c.speakerTop]♪ Ducks rock! ♪

♪ Mighty Ducks! ♪

♪ Here come the Mighty Ducks ♪

♪ Burning up the ice ♪

♪ Just try and stop
the Mighty Ducks ♪

♪ And you're gonna
pay the price! ♪

♪ Here come the Mighty Ducks ♪

♪ Fighting for the gold! ♪

♪ Let's hear it
for the Mighty Ducks ♪

♪ Time to rock and roll ♪

♪ Let's go ♪

♪ Let's go! ♪

♪ Ducks rock! ♪

♪ Mighty Ducks!
Ducks rock! ♪

♪ Let's hear it
for the Mighty Ducks! ♪

♪ Mighty Ducks! ♪

[siren wailing]

Wait here.

Huh!

Huh! "Mystery Ducks
Foil Bank Heist."

[growls]

Yeah, I can remember
when a duck was a meal,

not a headline.

Well, this is sad news indeed
for Duck fans.

It looks like the Mighty Ducks

season-long winning streak

may be coming to an end.

They are tied
with the Main Kohawks

with 40 second remaining.

And Kohawks center,
John Luke...

is aiming to score again!

-[fans cheering]
-Oh, a spectacular save

by the Mighty Ducks goalie,

Wildwing!

You know, not only
are these ducks mighty,

they are really ducks!

Oh, another great deflection

by Mallory.

Puck deployed.

[commentator]
And a typically classy steal

by Duke.

Three, two...

Either run, now!

[commentator] Holy!

Tanya catches the Kohawks
right defenseman

by surprise!

Well, oh,
the Kohawks taken back!

Become one with...

the boards.

[grunting, groaning]

Oh, and Grin checks

the entire Kohawks offence.

[gasping]

Lucy, I'm home!

[Commentator]
Nosedive shoots.

He scores!

-[whistle blows]
-[timer buzzes]

[fans cheering]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[all] Three, two, one.

...have come
from behind victory

for the Mighty Ducks!

Ducks win!

Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.

That's my ducks!

Hmm, wait up

for your lovable manager.

[Captain Klegghorn]
Going somewhere?

I want to have a word
with you, slick.

Downtown.

[Phil laughs] Listen, Kevin, I
don't know what I'm doing here.

[c.speakerTop]If it's about that parking
ticket, I can explain.

[c.speakerTop]I had a broken leg, I had
a handicap sticker that week.

I don't want to hear
your troubles, Phil.

I wanna hear about ducks!

Hey, call their P.R. agent.

Six hockey playing ducks

appear out of nowhere

and suddenly six vigilantes

in comic book get ups
start showing up

whenever there's trouble.

Spill it! Where are they from?

Another planet?

Not another planet, babe.

A whole another universe.

And in this universe
is a planet

inhabited entirely by ducks.

They call it Puckworld.

In honor
of their greatest hero,

the legendary hockey player,
Drake DuCaine.

He was the orphan
at team camp.

He saved Puckworld

from a horde
of concurrent aliens

called the Saurian Overlords

hundreds of years ago.

But nobody knew for sure
whether or not

Drake DuCaine
ever really existed.

And they argue about
it to this day.

Drake DuCaine.

He totally ruled Canard,

the Saurian Overlords.

He conquered everything.

I mean, it was game over

for the whole universe, man.

[grunts] Nobody can find them

'cause they had like these
evil magic powers.

Drake DuCaine invents
this crazy mask,

a goalie mask

that can see through
their invisible shields.

So he hunts down the evil
Saurians with the mask, right?

He kicks their scaly tails

clear into another dimension

and the crowd goes, "Wild!"

Yow! [grunts]

Man, Wildwing,
I couldn't get a single puck

past you today.

You want a real hero, Nosedive?

Well, check out Canard.

He's the best student in school

and nobody beats him
on the ice.

He's a real team captain.

Besides, I've heard
all the stories

about Drake DuCaine's
mask dive.

They're just legends.

Legends? Wake up
and smell yourself, man.

You're talking about
the most totally

righteous duck
who ever quacked, flat out.

Relax, baby brother,

the Saurian empire vanished

centuries ago.

[Phil] But for once,
Wildwing was wrong.

Because a few days later,

the last surviving Overlord

made a play for the big time.

We're in range of Puckworld,
Lord Dragaunus.

Prepare to de-pluck.

Now!

[dramatic music playing]

[laughing evilly]

After untold centuries,

I, Dragaunus,

the last
of the Saurian Overlords

have escaped
the dimensional limbo

in which my ancestors
were imprisoned.

Now, the descendants

of Drake Ducaine

shall pay for what he did

to my ancestors.

[laughs]

You ever had duck before,
Chameleon?

I, Seige?

You ask whether I have partaken

of a duck feast?

Well, now that
you mentioned it, no.

I hear it tastes like chicken.

[screams] Don't do that.

This is a mistake,
Lord Dragaunus.

If we do not use
the dark powers

of our ancestors,

I predicted dismal outcome.

This conversation is closed,
Wraith?

Technology freed us

from the dimensional limbo

with my new gateway generator.

And technology

with crush Puckworld flat.

So I said,
"Insurance, who needs it?"

-[lasers firing]
-[both] Ahhh!

[ducks screaming]

[Phil] What can I say,

Dragaunus was a player.

I mean, did I say "player"?

He was a warmonger.

The citizens of Puckworld
didn't know what hit them.

His armada destroyed
the duck city.

Terrorized the population.

I mean, we're talking

serious possible
takeover, babe.

[screeches]

So these hockey-playing ducks

were attacked by a dinosaur

named Dragaunus.

Am I hearing you right?

You're right. You got it, babe.

Beautiful,
I could've stayed home

watching Sci-Fi
chiller theater,

but this is much funnier.

All right, what happened next?

What else?

He conquered the planet.

[Phil]
Dragaunus put the ducks
to work

so he could expand
his operation

to the whole galaxy.

But, within his workforce,

there were a few malcontents
rattling around.

Dive, what are we going to do?

I hear you, bro.
I mean, we keep hearing

about the resistance,
but where are they.

[Wildwing] I don't know.

Maybe they're just a legend.

Like Drake Ducaine.

It's hopeless.

We don't stand a chance.

Oh, Canard!

Where have you been
all these months?

I'm with what's left
of the military.

In the resistance.

The resistance?
It really exists?

[Canard] I'm organizing a team
of our best special forces,

and a few civilians we've had
our eyes on, like you.

We're going to
take out Dragaunus.

How? Nobody's ever seen him.

I found it, Wildwing.

In an ancient tomb
in the mountains

they call Twin Beaks.

The mask.

Drake Ducaine's mask.

Oh, didn't I tell you, man.

Was Drake Ducaine
the main duck or what?

Beat it, kid, before you
get us all into trouble.

No.

If you want me, then my
brother's part of the deal.

Okay, but you are responsible

for the kid's safety.

All right, bro!

This smacks of a serious
par-ty-ty time.

[Phil]
Canard was the team captain.

Now all he needed was a team.

He started assembling
a crack strike force

to face off against Dragaunus.

First up was Mallory.

A top flight commando
on weapons specialists.

I hate machines.

[Phil] Next was Duke L'Orange.

The most notorious jewel thief

on Puckworld.

Whatever,
since Dragaunus hit town,

he's been putting his skills
to good use.

This food belongs
to the people.

Not that tyrant Dragaunus.

[Phil] Then there was Tanya.

an expert in science

and, you know,
technical stuff.

She was so good,

she actually knew
how to set a timer

on a VCR.

-[growling]
-[screaming]

Scratch.
What oversize toaster oven.

[Phil]
And the last member
of the team

was a guy name Grin.

[laughs] He was so strong,

he could bend steel
just by looking at it.

Pain is an illusion.

An illusion
that really, really hurts.

[Phil]
Canard had his strike force.

Five commandos

and one kid brother.

[laughs] Slammin' gear, Canard.

We are set for some serious
street hockey!

[Wildwing] Where'd you get
the cool set of wings, Canard?

[Canard] It's the last
of the military's aero-wings.

They managed to hide it when
the monitor towers attacked.

Now, let's pay Dragaunus

a little visit.

The monitors are controlled
by a computer

at Dragaunus' headquarters.

That's our target.

Yeah, but nobody's ever seen

Dragaunus' headquarters.

I have. Now prepare yourselves.

We're almost there.

Here?
We're 20 clicks from nowhere.

The master tower has an
invisibility field around it.

Dragaunus' cloak of darkness.

And we're about
to pass through it.

Dragaunus' headquarters.

Yo, what about me?

Be a team player, little bro.

Somebody's got to guard
the ship.

I think I just got
the short end
of the hockey stick!

[Phil] The ducks headed deep
into the tower.

They were committed
to destroying

Dragaunus' operation.

Maybe stealing his supplies,

or at least jammin'
his copiers.

According to our information,

the main computer's
heavily fortified.

Grin, you're on.

Mind over metal.

[grunts]

The master computer.

[Duke]
Yeah, I saw this place

on the cover of Better Homes
And Super Villains.

Tanya, take Mallory
and shut it down.

[Mallory]
Tanya, I got to warn you,

machines and me
don't get along too well.

Canard, these guys all have
special skills,

but what am I doing here?

You are going
to draw Dragaunus out.

-so we can jump him.
-Why me?

Because you're
the best goalie I know.

You'll be able to take anything
Dragaunus can throw at you.

Did I mention I'm half chicken?

[Canard] There, the door to
Dragaunus' command chamber.

We'll be
right behind you, buddy.

We'll give him a 30 second
start then we--

Well, so much
for your plan, Canard.

[Seige] All right,
let's pluck some duck!

And I've got
better idea, Seige.

Let's roast them.

Here's the bait, old pal.
You're the decoy.

[laughs] Remind me to do you
a favor sometime, Canard.

Dragaunus' command center

must have guards at the Gazoo.

Oh, man, I hate playing right.

Okay, Wildwing, argh!

Let's give the g*ng a thrill!

[grunts]
Say you're not a cyborg.

Adios,android.

I'll see you later,
Perka-later!

Ha! That ought
to get his attention.

[laughs evilly]

Oh, boy, it got his attention.

[Dragaunus]
How disappointing.

I was hoping it would be
the pest Canard.

He's been causing me
trouble for months.

Uh, guys, you're supposed
to be right...

[groans]

[Dragaunus laughing]

Your feathered friends
aren't coming.

Nothing can save you.

Now, duck,

you're mine.

[laughs evilly]

[slurps]

Let me see if I got
this hoo-ha straight.

This guy Dragaunus

took over the duck planet

and when the ducks
tried to stop him,

Wildwing got captured.

You got the big picture, booby.

[c.speakerTop]But you're missing
the subtleties.

And you're missing
about a half dozen marbles.

[Phil] See, all the stumbles
happened at once.

Dragaunus had
Wildwing prisoner

and he was in a mood
to terminate

with extreme prejudice.

[Dragaunus]
When you hit those rays,

you'll be incinerated.

[laughs] Yeah, yeah.

I've always had a passion

for crispy duck.

I don't suppose
I could interest you

in a nice
pasta salad instead, huh?

[Phil] Meanwhile,

Nosedive was fed up with
sitting on the bench.

[Nosedive] If I can just get
this heap in the air.

Whoo-hoo-hoo, all right!

Nosedive tower,

-here goes another.
-[beeping]

Eh, wrong.

[Phil] At the same time,

Tanya was
really ready and able

to start the fireworks.

Now throw the toggle switch.

[Mallory] Ah, toggle switch.

Affirmative.

[beeping]

[gasps]

I told you
to throw the switch,

not press the button.

[Mallory]
Switch, button,
what's the diff.

[Tanya] About nine minutes
of escape time!

[zapping]

What the blazes?

[Phil] And the other ducks,

we're trying
to put a good spin

-on a bad situation.
-[grunts]

Stand still,
you shape-shifting sicko.

I'm only three-and-a-half
years old.

[grunting]

Kids grow up
so fast these days.

Care to fight fire

with fire.

[grunts]

[grunts]

Now, duck,

you're lunch meat.

[grunts]

[thudding]

[grunting]

[beeping]

Seige, bring the others
to the Raptor at once.

The power cells,

they're overloading.

[beeping]

I'm thinking maybe

that was a little too easy.

Forget it.
We got to find Wildwing.

[dramatic music playing]

Man, my feathers
are starting to sweat.

Wildwing!

[laughing]

[expl*si*n]

Grab your socks, troops,

in 30 seconds we're
all going to be toast.

[Canard] Hero, it's gone.

That kid brother
of yours, he...

[ship approaching]

[Nosedive] Hee-ha-ha.

Nosedive to the rescue!

Those feathered freaks
are after us.

We shall escape them

as we escaped

that dimension prison.

What the heck is that?

The ship seem to be generating

some kind of
dimensional gateway.

Then we'll follow them.

Come on, baby bro, punch it.

Hang on.

They're still on our tail.

Then I'll destabilize
the gateway.

Release the worm!

Tanya, what is that?

Well, if I didn't know better,

I'd say that was
an electromagnetic worm!

Hey, if that thing
get's big enough,

it could swallow
the entire ship!

[Wildwing] Well, how are
we going to get rid of it?

[Tanya] Well, it has
to consume some sort of matter.

We're going to have
to jettison something.

Well, like what?
Everything is halted down.

[beeping]

Canard, what are you doing?

You heard Tanya,

I'm going to close
that thing down!

Are you crazy?

It's the only way.

Take it, Wildwing.

-Take it!
-[Wildwing] No, Canard!

Hang on!

[grunting]

Take it.

You're team captain now.

No!

[growls]

He sacrificed himself

to save us.

Truly. And he fought so.

[Nosedive] Ah, guys,

those dino creeps
are getting away!

Oh, no, they must have
passed through

the other end of the gateway.

Then that's where we're going.

Punch it, Nosedive.

Ah! Where's the Raptor?

[Wildwing] More to the point,
where are we?

[theme music playing]