01x02 - The First Face Off: Part Two

[bunniefuu]

[theme music playing]

♪ On the road to glory♪

♪ Ain't no turning back♪

♪ It's got to be
the Mighty Ducks♪

♪ On a quack attack!♪

♪ Look out, clear the way♪

♪ The Ducks are here to play!♪

♪ Ducks rock!♪

[crowd cheering]

[c.speakerTop]♪ Ducks rock!♪

♪ Mighty Ducks!

♪ Here come the Mighty Ducks♪

♪ Burning up the ice!♪

♪ Just try and stop
the Mighty Ducks♪

♪ And you're gonna
pay the price!♪

♪ Here come the Mighty Ducks♪

♪ Fighting for the gold!♪

♪ Let's hear it
for the Mighty Ducks♪

♪ Time to rock and roll!♪

♪ Let's go♪

♪ Let's go! ♪

♪ Ducks rock!♪

♪ Mighty Ducks! Ducks rock!♪

♪ Let's hear it
for the Mighty Ducks!♪

♪ Mighty Ducks! ♪

[Phil] Yeah, yeah, yeah.
That's right, yeah.

I'm helping the cops
crack a tough case.

Hey, I live on the edge,
sweetheart.

So, look, when I'm done
what do you say

a little dinner,
a little dancing

-you and me together--
-[phone hangs up]

What? Hello?

Your loss, toots.

Uh, sorry, Klegghorn.

Now, where was I?

The ducks had just
arrived on Earth

and I am warning you, Phil,

this c*ck story of yours

better start making sense.

What's that to make sense?

They followed Dragaunus
through a dimensional gateway

and landed here.

In beautiful down town Anaheim.

Welcome to Anaheim.

Home of the mighty frogs?

Kinda looks like...

Puckworld.

Yeah.

With better weather.

Impossible.

We aren't even
in our own universe anymore.

For all we know

this world could be
populated by giant snails

with hundreds of eyes

or primitive barbarians.

Yeah, primitive, huh?

[Nosedive]
I'd say we're talking

serious civilization here,
Kitty.

-[earth quaking]
-[groans]

Even the cloaking device
is malfunctioning.

Doesn't anything on this
blasting ship work, Seige?

The censors show signs
of the Ducks, Lord Dragaunus.

-What?
-[beeping]

Right, Chameleon,

you must get the Valerian
crystals online.

[powering up]

We can't stay stranded
in these mountains.

The Ducks are searching for us

even as we speak.

[Tanya] You know, this place
might not be so bad at that.

[Mallory] I wouldn't be so sure

till we've done
a shop to shop search mission.

I'm with you, Mall.

Hey, let's definitely
sculpt out that comic shop.

Wiener world.

Hey, you suppose that's
the name of this place?

Uh, excuse me, buddy.

What planet is this?

[man screams]

You think the guy
had never seen a duck before.

[door bell rings]

Yo, Chief-tins, uh, excuse me.

[screams]

[stammering] What are you, man?

Some kind of mutants?

No, we're just ducks
from another universe.

Alien talking ducks?

Cool.

Are you, like, the first Flink

of the hideous invasion

that's gonna, like,
take over the world?

Negative, Hammer.

We just want to, you know,
check out some comics.

[door bell rings]

Friends of yours?

Yeah, my pose.

I'm pretty much
the brains of the operation.

Careful, it could be
a high powered disintegrator.

[squirts g*n]

[chuckles]

They must have some interesting
wars on this planet.

You ask me, man, this place has
all the necessities of life.

Oh, yeah, but...

does it have hockey?

Well, they must, hubby,

doesn't everybody?

Okay look, we're stranded here.

We don't even know
where Dragaunus is.

We gotta play hockey
to keep our edge.

You guys into hockey?

Well, then follow me
my feathered dudes and dudetts.

The Anaheim Pond.

Best hock rink in the world.

Also the emptiest.

Hmm. Come on.
Let's check it out.

[Phil] And that's how I first
met the Mighty Ducks.

Of course,
I was completely cool about it.

[screams]

[groans]

Don't do that.

The amusement park's
across the freeway, fellas.

We're here to play hockey.

Why not?

I don't have nearly enough
aggravation in my life.

See, my boss stiffed me.

Moved the whole team to
Piscataway, New Jersey.

Now, if I can't get
a new team soon

the city will tear
this place down

and I'll be out on the street.

Well, I'm sorry to
hear that, Phil.

Now can we play some hockey?

Oh, sure.

Of course you'll have to
get past them first.

The Destroyers.

Worst g*ons in hockey.

They've been kicked out
of every league.

[laughing]

A little early for Halloween,
ain't it?

How about a nice friendly game?

Sure.

It would be a pleasure
to smear you all over the ice.

Aah! Hey!

[grunts]

[grunts]

Hey, don't you have
any rules on this planet?

[grunts]

[grunts]

[Mallory] This isn't hockey,
it's a demolition derby.

I say we give these creeps
some mega payback.

I'm with you, little brother,

but we'll do it by the book.

Bad little boys...

[strains]

...shouldn't play with sticks.

[groans]

Cover me, Grinster!

He can't check all three of us.

[grunts]

With hockey...

all things are possible.

[siren]

Huh?

I suddenly realized
I had a gold mine on my hands.

Hockey playing alien ducks!

The fast food tiers alone
will be worth a fortune!

And I was right.

In a week, the Ducks were

the biggest thing
in the league.

-[game siren rings]
-[announcer] Ducks scores!

Another incredible victory
for those strange visitors

from another universe

-[crowd cheering]
-Your Mighty Ducks of Anaheim!

[Phil]
Unfortunately, their contract

allowed them
to use all the profits

to build a head quarters
underneath the pond.

My lawyer missed that one.

He's making hot dogs now.

Puck bazookas,

puck cannons

and ice shields.

Now we're ready for anything

Dragaunus can throw at us.

-[loads g*n]
-Let's get moving.

Tanya, we need a master computer

to help us search for Dragaunus.

Well, I can whip one up
but it'll take time.

With this planets technology,
maybe a couple of years.

We're not waiting for her.
We're gonna style

on our new ride.

Hey, hey, hey, you can't run off
in the middle of the night.

You got that dog food
endorsement tomorrow!

I had to hire a team of ducks.

Next time, wombats.

they're easier to train.

Neutronic batteries to power.

Set torque for maximum traction.

That's a roger!

Turbines to speed.

Turbines at full power.

[rock music playing]

We're gonna find
that soaring sleaze bucket

and take him down.

[shouts]

Later I realized it would be
a sweet publicity gimmick.

Hockey players by day,

crime fighters by night.

Fascinating, Phil.

By the way, Mr. Spark called.

He wants his Phaser back!

Well, I told him
it was a bad idea.

Anything on the sensors, Dive?

A big zip-a-de-do-da, bro.

[screams]

[laughing]

Man, those people are in trouble

-we gotta help them.
-No.

No, finding Dragaunus
is our first priority.

Besides, you know,
why should we get involved

with the humans problems?

Hey, I've been
on the wrong side of the law,

and if we don't fight evil
wherever we find it...

we're no better
than Dragaunus himself.

He's right.

Let's go.

This is our turf.

You cross us, you're gonna pay.

[Duke L'Orange] Hey, do you
have easy credit turns

with lowdown payments?

Why don't you hog heads
mess with us instead.

Nice mask.

Who the heck are you weirdos?

Don't you guys
ever watch hockey?

Nah.

But we'll be happy
to put you turkeys on ice.

Hey, that's ducks you cretins.

[all cry out]

[screams]

[groans]

[groans]

[groans]

That's where
trash like you belongs.

There is not a trace
of Dragaunus anywhere.

[expl*si*n]

I'd say someone just blew
the vault in that bank.

And I suppose you want us
to stop them.

We better put the migrate urn
to battle mode.

[man] This super laser works.

We did it!

All that money is ours

and nobody can stop us.

[car approaching]

Guess again, men jerks!

Whoa!

I'll handle these rookies.

[strains]

[boom]

No freaky's gonna beat me.

Freak?

Not exactly.

Hi-ya!

[groans]

[sigh]

I like to think of myself as...

daringly different.

-[grunts]
-You wouldn't want to disturb

my inner tranquility

would you?

[grunts]

[grunts]

[groans]

[Duke] We'll just deposit
you creeps in here.

[grunts]


Listen up, bad boys.

There's a new sheriff in town

and he's wearing feathers.

[Phil]
It was clear that Dragaunus

wasn't the only foe
the Ducks would be facing.

They were becoming
crime fighters

in a major way.

There's gotta be some way
I can make this pay.

I know, official Mighty Duck
secret head quarters tour.

Ten bucks a head.

You lead a very rich
fantasy life, Phil.

[Nosedive] Whoa-h*,
nice main-frame, Tanya.

I found this chain of stores

called Electric Labs.

Just fabulous.

They got everything.

I'm calling it Drake One.

We can use it
to search for Dragaunus

anytime we want.

Like now even.

Yeah? Well, I wouldn't give
a used puck bag

for our chances of finding him.

Wildwing...

It's time you put that mask on

and started acting
like a leader, all right?

Just keeping it
until we find Canard.

No... No!

What're you doing?

Take it, Wildwing.

Take it!

-[screams]
-Canard!

He gave you the mask
for a reason.

He wanted you to lead us.

Look, I'm not cut out
to be a leader.

-It's too much responsibility.
-[alarm]

[Tanya]
Drake One, is picking up

an unusual energy source
outside the city?

I mean, it's really...

big.

Wildwing, it could be
the Raptors drive system.

If you're right,
then we found Dragaunus.

Boobies, come on.

There's more important things
than fighting evil.

Like personal appearances,

promotional schemes,
all kinds of--

Oh, yeah? You don't think
this is important, Phil?

-Huh?
-See for yourself.

It's okay, babes,

I believe you, listen,

I gotta sue somebody
tomorrow morning.

Come on.

Commence launch sequence.

[powering up]

[siren sounding]

Launch sequence engaged.

Come on, guys,

I don't feel so good.

Hey, we can make
some Mighty Duck air sick bags.

Hold down the thrusters.

Busting thrusters!

[beeps]

[birds squawking]

This is the source
of the energy readings.

Yeah, right.

This place is just
crawling with evil.

[sigh] This is hopeless.

We don't even know
if Dragaunus is on this planet.

We're never gonna find him.

[earth quaking]

[Mallory] Oh, yeah?

Looks like he just found us.

I've gotta tell you, Phil,

I find your story
a little hard to swallow.

Hey, babe, come on,

would I lie to you?

Only if there were
a profit in it.

Come on.
Come on, work with me here.

We're almost at
the census shattering finale.

So, there was Dragaunus

coming straight at us.

I immediately took command
of the situation.

Open the door!
I wanna go home!

Unh, we're gonna go get
a bigger ship now, right?

Right?

We gotta get control
of that ship.

Are you whack, man?

That guy's packing enough heat

to charbroil the planet.

And it's gateway generator
is our only ticket home.

[laughing]

Destroy them, Seige.

Huh?

Phil, wait here.

Uh, no problem, babe,

uh, I'll lock up, right?

Tanya, get control
of the main engines.

Grin, keep her covered.

We'll have to get
to the c*ck.

That'll mean engaging
Dragaunus and his g*ons.

Hey, am I a psychic or what?

So, you want a rematch, eh?

This time there won't be
enough left of you

to stuff a pillow.

[screams]

[grunts]

[groans]

[grunts]

That does it. These post-droids

are off our Christmas card list.

[strains]

[grunts]

[strains]

Enough!

You three take the controls.

When we're over the city...

blast it into rubble.

I'll handle these pests.

Not without a fight, Dragaunus.

Don't be so sure about that.

[grunts]

Now, for you.

You won't even know
what hit you.

[grunts]

[Dragaunus laughing]

[straining]

-[grunts]
-[screams]

[grunts]

[laughing]

Not meditation crystals
I assume.

Uh, Valerian power crystals.

Very rare.

This accounts for the ships
unorthodox propulsion system

Right.

[grunts]

You can't hide, Dragaunus,

you're gonna lose. [grunts]

How?

Your leader has gone

and you're a poor substitute.

I'll find Canard...

whatever it takes.

You pathetic fool.

You'll never
see your friend again.

No.

No, I don't believe you.

[laughing]

Deal with it, Duck boy.

Canard is trapped
for all eternity

in dimensional limbo...

along with the mask.

Take it, Wildwing.

[screams] Canard!

Take it.

You're team captain now.

[echoes]
You're team captain now.

Wrong, Dinobreath.


[grunts]

[strains]

[strains]

[grunts]

The city is in range, my lord.

We're ready
to commence bombardment.

We gotta shut down
the engines now.

"The smallest pebble
may divert the mightiest river."

Grin, No!

[strains]

[strains]

Uh, guys,
you won't believe this.

Oh, what now?

Well, it seems
that we're sort of...

gonna crash.

-What?
-Well, you know,

we kinda destroyed
the main engines.

It was a little miscalculation.

[Nosedive] Oh, man.

Somebody give me a donut.

Does she always have to
blow something up?

It's heading
straight for the city.

Valerian crystals are blown.

Then engage the auxiliary power.

I'm trying.

What happened?

Well, they must've switched
to auxiliary power.

Then we've gotta search
for them.

Guys, I'm sorry, Wildwing,
we don't have much fuel.

Like, you know, none almost.

We'll find them again...

because now...

we have a leader.

And a real team captain.

-That's my bro.
-You can do it.

Absolutely.

[crying]

[sneezes]

Well, what do you think?

[sigh] Well, I'll tell you.

That is the biggest
load of horse radish

I ever heard in my life.

Those ducks should be
using you for a hockey puck.

If there were evil aliens
operating out of my precinct

don't you think I'd know it?

What kind of an idiot
do you take me for?

You pea-brain.

I told you
never to press that button.

I'm sorry, Mo,

I'm a victim of circumstances.

[barking]

You can't go on like
this forever,

limping from one hiding place
to another

on impulse power.

And sooner or later the Ducks
will spot us with the mask.

As long as the Mighty Ducks
stand in our way

I fear the worst.

They won't stand
in our way for long.

One day soon, I'll pick my teeth

with the wish-bones
of those meddling mallards.

Watch me. [laughing]

[Wildwing] You told Klegghorn
everything, Phil?

Hey, give me a break.
What can I do?

The guy was giving me
the third degree.

Yeah, nice going, dipstick,

you just blew
our secret identities.

What secret identities?

We're the only talking ducks
on the planet.

Hey, besides,

it's better if the world knows

you're superheroes.

-It is?
-Well, sure.

Think of all the merchandising,

comics, action figures,

and hey...

even a cartoon show.

Bad karma.

-It'll never happen.
-What are you nuts?

-Come on, Phil.
-Come on, think about it.

[theme music playing]