02x12 - Something's Abyss / Eeking Out A Living

[bunniefuu]

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hmm

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yes

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here comes

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they're terrible

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i don't know scooter this sounds like it

may be your dumbest idea yet that's

pretty hard to comprehend

look bill you dropped your banana while

we were crossing this ravine right

of course i did i was terrified you told

me there was scorpion larva all over my

shoulders

boy did you jump so it was just dandruff

i'm sorry but you want your banana back

right we may never see another one okay

so here's how we get your banana back

okay

i pulled this vine off that bungee tree

see

it's got to be long enough to reach your

banana when you get there you just grab

your banana and come springing back up

isn't that great

how on earth do you figure out

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[Applause]

okay bill grab the banana

now spring back up no scooter why don't

you come down here

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[Applause]

oh man it's them then it's men man it's

coming from over there the exon abyss

let's see how you like them bananas mr

smarty dr invento johnny big ideas

you're big stupid

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[Applause]

don't worry about me bill this log broke

my fall

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your fall isn't the only thing that's

gonna be broken scooter

yikes get back here you

so you're gonna give up that easily huh

quit your pathetic running huh no bill

there's nothing to run on

those howls they are just trying to

frighten us doc count me in it works

they're down in doomsday caverns i'm

scared doomsday caverns why would they

go in there man even thugosaurs don't go

in there and they're nuts man you're not

gonna make us go in there are you doc

are we the dub or thunder lizards or are

we babies

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bill i see light over there grab hold of

my hand i'll guide you

wow

it's beautiful it almost looks like

there's some sort of civilization down

here well i sure don't want to meet up

with any horrible underground cave

brothers then you can let go of my hand

now i'm not holding your hand bill

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[Applause]

bill

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scoot it right have a feeling the

herding hasn't even begun yet

i don't know doc it seems like this cave

is bottomless

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doc over there horrible horrible monster

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hey bill i'm tied to two fun guys fungi

get it the mushroom you fungi

believe it bill aren't these unusual

creatures magnificent scooter these

magnificent creatures are about to drop

us to lag tight on our heads at least

two will be quick and i'll never have to

see you again

oh don't you worry bill it's not gonna

be that quick

i think i'm getting a grasp on these

creatures primitive language

see he's telling us that before they

drop the rock formation on our heads

they're going to let those carnivorous

earthworms eat our toes then they'll

drag us through that hot lava pit until

our nose hairs melt then they'll turn us

inside out then they drop the stalagmite

on our heads so you see bill it won't be

that fast at all gee isn't learning

another language wonderful

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oh no i don't know how it's possible but

things just got worse

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stay close we have one torch left

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i don't think we need to see this

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it looks like it may be a temple

entrance of some kind we must be careful

there may be booby traps protecting the

entrance keep your eyes peeled for

triggering mechanisms uh doc would a

triggering mechanism look anything like

this

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ah

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hmm

i wonder what all this food is who cares

i was starving

really well isn't that interesting i had

no idea the diseased termite eyeballs

could be prepared so many ways

list of lawrence henderson ah you know

well isn't this wonderful what what to

pump my stomach

no you big silly apparently you did a

good thing when you take the hand of one

of these cave dwelling creatures look

them in the eyes scream and run away it

means that you want to be with that

being forever what

number

says you and foosel are about to embark

on a great journey together a journey

called marriage

it's the humans man i know why they led

us here they knew we'd never get out

easy squat whoever set up these little

distractions has obviously run out of

ways to protect themselves now nothing

stands between us and that temple

entrance

right qatar let's just catch our breath

here we can rest on these giant eyeballs

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there's something you don't see every

day maybe if we don't make any sudden

moves it will not harm us

maybe

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here comes crabby

no

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you call this a lobster at these

outrageous prices i had better see a

huge lobster and i better see a huge

lobster now

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excellent service just excellent

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their custom is you exchange rings you

give her this one to wear and she has

you wear that one

humans

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[Laughter]

there's too many of them we gotta get

out of here man that's what's right doc

let's come back when we're stupider

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sometimes

i don't know which would have been worse

having my toes eaten by that carnivorous

earthworm being dragged through lava

being turned inside out and having a

boulder dropped on my head or that

marriage thing don't you worry bill

we're out of that mess now and look good

news i think i've discovered chickenpox

see these little spots yippee

they're all over me you want some

great

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oh isn't it though i had it made by that

famous sculptor boogal gunter quest it

took him six years to make it i guess he

needed the extra time to capture my

beauty every day was worth it annabelle

no eek you say the sweetest thing

now i've got to get inside and tune into

lawyers hospital jane's about to tell

lance that she's really a wound bat

bye annabelle boy that beautiful statue

here is a work of art priceless i bet

oh handsome

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[Applause]

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don't worry sharky with little glue we

can fix that statue as good as new now

we need some money to buy some statue

sticking strength glue

but i don't have a penny

kumbaya that's a swell idea sharky we'll

get a job then it would be easy to buy

some glue and piece the fountain back

together we better do before annabelle

soap opera is over come on

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well well welcome now what special

qualities do you two have that will help

you land a job in today's competitive

job market well uh i'm a cat and my

friend here is a shark dog and what are

you two good at well um i can cough up

hair ba*ls and mold them into fuzzy

replicas of famous talk show hosts and i

can spend hours staring at things that

aren't really there and you

sharky here well he can bark and chase

things and oh yeah he can fit an entire

truck tire in his mouth hmm hairball

copper and truck tire eater well this is

wonderful i have just the job for you

too here we go

sharky who would have ever imagined we

had the perfect qualifications to become

air traffic controllers what a swell job

well gee sharky i'm not sure what we do

but i did see a movie once and there

were these guys and they were our

traffic controllers and i remember they

drank a lot of coffee

we could do that

yeah this job even has video games would

i'll go get some paper towels

come in come in tower control do you

read

do you read us

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[Applause]

boy shark isn't this great i just saw a

big jet plane up really close through

the window over there you don't see that

every day

huh oh

what is it boy more coffee

so you're laid off huh well don't worry

about that little fellas there's plenty

of other jobs do either of you have any

medical experience

sarki's put a few people in the hospital

and i vaguely know how to perform vcr

although i still can't figure out how to

record anything on the darn thing that's

perfect i have just the job for you

it looks pretty straightforward

we just removed the fingernail from the

simple and primitive baboons finger and

put it on this man's finger am i missing

something here i mean you take my

fingernail right so what the heck's in

this for me hmm i guess you better start

by anesthetizing the patient

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here we go

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uh

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it says here you two sewed a baboon's

head onto a human body by mistake well

uh yeah but you know if a little fella

just wears a necktie and gloves and sits

in a box with a hole in the top where

you can stick his head out of her you'd

hardly even notice according to my files

between your first few efforts of

employment you two have wreaked all

kinds of havoc acted recklessly and

without any regard for others made

horrible decisions endangered women and

children and farm animals and ruined

many many lives but these qualifications

are perfect for the next job perfect for

that job mr elmo quite the job of united

states congressman of course

we are here today with the delightful

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of morality to discuss the decline in

lack of education in the saturday

morning children's programming

thank you congressman

i think i'd like to have my little

friend pork chop here to speak with the

children of america today

the children of this country are getting

a raw deal with all this laughter and

mercy

and funny things in cartoons why aren't

they learning a single thing about

parabellums and the level of toxicity in

the saliva of endangered snail darter

fish

it's time the laughter stopped and the

learning began

i just look at

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as this can plainly see the creators of

this cartoon we're purposely making a

blatant attempted comedy here in an

effort to make some children laugh and

possibly fall off their couches and hurt

themselves here's how we at the

committee for politically correct boring

humorless stupid things would fix this

aberration first off these characters

are disturbingly dissimilar this smacks

of speciesism they should both be made

up of the same characteristics to

promote harmony and sameness in all

species

now this character shouldn't be running

but should be walking safely with his

hand on the railing for support the

other character should never be shown

standing unprotected on the edge of a

building and should have a safety

restraint pushing us safe over the edge

of a skyscraper is imitatable behavior

we suggest using something soft like a

pillow instead of a safe there now we

just add an informative message so kids

can learn and we're done roll it

hey kids four plus two equals six and we

number kids don't eat poison

any questions

congressman sharky the shark dog has a

uh sharky says he has one thing to say

to you mr porkchop well congressman

sharkey

spit it out

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mr elmo i guess sharky and i were never

cut out to be congressman well let's see

you two are really giving me a run for

the money

here's one and you get to travel kumbaya

we get to travel give me five sharky

sure is beautiful up here in the frozen

countries of the arctic hot sharky

well sure it's a little chilly but it

has to be to keep all this pretty snow

from melting cheer up sharky won't be

long until we find hey look

all we gotta do is put this collar on

him

how hard can that be

bye mr bear hi meek and the rangers want

me and my pal sharky here to put this

color on you so they can track your

movements and find you when you're

roaming through the garbage cans at the

ice station

it's just a precaution you understand

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[Applause]

hmm i can see that didn't work out

either no

not really no

okay you two guys i got one more idea

left if we can't to make any money here

i'm gonna have to give up here we go

gee sharky who would have ever guessed

that the highest paying job would be the

easiest all we got to do is go for one

ride with these nice people and we'll

make enough money to fix annabelle's

fountain okay now we better buckle up

for safety okay fellas we're ready when

you are

action

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hey i can see my house from here

look at that sharky that fountain fixing

glue did a great job and annabelle's

fountain is better than new it'll be our

little secret right sharky

[Applause]

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okay

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