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05x02 - Pirate Special

Episode transcripts for the TV show, "MythBusters". Aired: November 15, 2017 – February 28, 2018.*
Watch/Buy Amazon

A weekly documentary in which two Hollywood special effects experts attempt to debunk urban legends by directly testing them.

05x02 - Pirate Special

Post by bunniefuu »

Narrator: aboard this episode

Of "mythbusters"...

It's time for some pillaging.

It's time for some robbing.

Booty goes inside it.

It's time to
blow some stuff up.

It's time for the "mythbusters"

Pirates special.

Narrator: that's
right, me beauties.

Sea dogs adam and jamie have

Plundered the seven seas for

Pirate parable
and maritime myth.

I'm so pumped!

Narrator: first, do more

Seamen die from the wooden

Shrapnel than the
actual cannonball?

Definitely made
a lot of shrapnel.

Narrator: then, kari, grant

And tory have their eye on

The story that pirate patches

Were a night vision aid.

That was quite funny.

Narrator: next, adam gets

Dirty and jamie cleans up.

Will rum remove
everyday pirate stains?

The plight of the
pirate laundryman.

Okay, I'm ready for battle.

Narrator: and finally, is it

Hollywood hocus-pocus, or can

You slow a high
fall with a knife sail?

Avast, thee.

Arr, you scurvy dogs.

Narrator: who are
the "mythbusters"?

Adam savage.

Danger is my middle name.

Narrator: and jamie hyneman.

Between them over 30 years

Special-effects experience.

Yeah!

Narrator: joining
them, tory belleci.

I'll miss you, buddy.

Narrator: kari byron.

Don't try what you're
about to see at home.

Narrator: and grant imahara.

I'm pumping as fast as I can.

Narrator: they don't
just tell the myths.

They put them to the test.

Something tells me I know the

Answer to this one.

What's the myth?

[ Pirate voice ] right.

The myth is that in a fire fight

With some pirates, in the

Fusillade of cannonballs, that

You would be more in danger of

The shrapnel than the
cannonballs themselves.

[ Laughs ]

He's speechless.

Narrator: arr, me hearties,

This myth comes straight from

The glory days of
pirate privateers.

Morgan!

Narrator: skilled blackguard

Captains will run down their

Heavy treasure-laden prey, then

Deliver a mighty broadside.

On the up row!

Fire!

Narrator: but is it
true the deadly splinters

Created on impact caused more

Deaths than the
cannonball itself?

We'll close for the
k*ll and then board her.

And I'll dangle a glary
from the foreyard.

[ Laughs ]

So what's the plan?

Well, the last time we tried

To find a cannon, the best we

Could do was find one
that just shot blanks.

This time we need to fire one

That fires a real cannonball.

And they're not going to be that

Easy to find, I don't think.

No.

Let's put the researchers on it.

And in the meantime, I've got

Some fabulous ideas for a

Small-scale air-powered cannon.

Turn your face around.

Narrator: now, if ye be

Unfamiliar with pirate ways,

Listen up and listen close.

It's pirate-speak
lesson number one.

A pirate woman is more commonly

Referred to as a wench.

Adam briefs myth-wench jess.

If an air cannon is going to be

Substituted for a real cannon,

It still needs to fire a ball

At much the same speed.

What I want to end up with

Is the slowest possible speed a

Cannonball can hit a boat.

'Cause I don't think we can

Match the highest possible speed

With the air cannon.

Narrator: so while jess hits

The history books to find out

About muzzle velocities, jamie

Tells us more about the plan.

It's time to get started on

The miniature air cannon.

This'll be a 20-foot-long

Schedule 40 pipe with another

Schedule 40 pipe and a
cap on it on the other end.

And our valve will
go between the two.

And we're just going to pressure

The thing with shop air, turn

The valve on, out goes
the ball into the wood.

Narrator: that long
pipe is no accident.

It allows the air to be focused

Behind the projectile and get

The most possible
force on the ball.

This one is going to be

Firing a 2-inch ball bearing,

Not exactly what you would have

Had in ye oldie times.

They happen to be the easiest

Thing for us to get a hold of,

Because people generally don't

Fire these thing these days.

Narrator: while hot shot

Hyneman puts together a target,

Old red beard savage gets down

To the finer plumbing.

I just don't want any leaks.

I don't like leaks.

Grab some air.

Narrator: to maximize

Pressure, all leaks have
to be accounted for.

Adam displays the time-honored

Pipe-hugging method
of checking for leaks.

Of course, he could
have just had a look.

Myth-wench jess has
crunched the numbers.

For a blistering broadside, a

Typical pirate cannonball

Travels at more than


That's way out of their
little cannon's league.

But they think 600 feet per

Second will be sufficient to

Splinter the wood
in a meaningful way.

So, adam, what are you
looking for from this test?

There are three things

We want to get out of this test.

First and foremost is
which of the woods is most

Shrapnel-worthy?

We're only going to use one of

Them for the large-scale test.

And this is a test where we'll

Determine which one.

Second is, is there a death zone

Around the point of impact?

Do splinters travel
in a specific direction?

And, third, do they travel with

Enough speed to have a seemingly

Deadly amount of power?

Do they penetrate?

Narrator: pirates weren't

Choosy about most things,

Including what their
ships were made of.

But three woods seems
to be the favorites.

We've got pine.

We've got white oak.

We've got red oak.

These aren't scaled to the ship,

But that's because on a

Small-scale test we just want to

Look at relative splintering

Ability of each of
these kinds of woods.

Blimey!

Narrator: it's simple -- fire

The 2-inch ball bearing
into the 3 types of woods,

Examine each splinter pattern

And select the best
for the full-scale test.

And of course the winner will be

The wood with the
deadliest spray of shrapnel.

First up on the cannonball

Collision course, pine planking.

Okay, I'm gonna go
ahead and pressurize it.

Okay.

Is everybody clear from
the back of the shop?

We're up to pressure.

Are we all set?

Okay, test one, pine,
in three, two, one...

[ Laughs ]

We're clear.

Oh, the anticipation!

[ Laughs ]

That is cool!

It's a perfect hole.

Narrator: a perfect hole.

But did it splinter?

Oh, oh, look at that!

Dude!

That is an excellent thing!

That is awesome!

Yeah.

It's just a beautiful result.

Okay.

Well, let's reset.

Narrator: with adam and jamie

Up and running, let's take time

Out to tackle a tale of tricky

Pirates and their eye patches.

[ Laughs ]

All right.

You guys know the whole

Stereotypical pirate
with the eye patch.

Yeah, you do.

Well, apparently it wasn't to

Cover up an eye that had been

Gouged out during battle.

Well, the myth surrounding

This one is actuallyreally cool.

I mean, the idea is both of

Their eyes are perfectly fine,

But kept one covered with an eye

Patch to keep that eye

Constantly night-vision ready.

So if you had to dip down

Below decks during the day or

Fight a battle at night after

Having been inside
reading maps, all right.

So we're going to have to

Figure out a way
to test this one.

Aye, aye, captain.

Aye, aye.

Narrator: for all their

"Arr, me hearties" and "avast,

Ye scurvy dogs," this myth would

Suggest pirates were no fools

When it came to eyeball anatomy.

According to pirate folklore, by

Wearing a patch over a perfectly

Good eye, a pirate could exit

The glare of a ship's deck,

Shuffle the patch over and enter

The dark below, or leave a

Well-lit room below decks to

Fight a nighttime battle up top.

We've got the eye patches.

That part's easy.

I think now the best thing we

Can do is go talk to an

Ophthalmologist and see if the

Myth has any merit
to it before we start.

Then we can figure out a way

To test the night vision, maybe

Like a pirate-themed
obstacle course.

If we're building this

Obstacle course, we're not gonna

Be able to test it.

So we'll save this for jamie and

Adam and let them test it out.

We'll make them
wear pirate outfits.

It'd be perfect!

Narrator: while tory and

Grant begin building an obstacle

Course to uniquely designed

To test a pirate's
night vision...

You guys should maybe just

Stand back in this thing falls.

Narrator: kari is off to see

An optha -- an optha
-- an eye doctor.

To test out our pirate-eye

Patch myth, I've come to ucsf

To their ophthalmology
department so I can see the

Science behind your eyes

Adjusting to the
light and the dark.

Now, the whole idea of

This is that the eye patch isn't

Because you have only one eye,

But it's supposed to keep night

Vision in one eye so that

Intruders coming on to your

Ship, you can change
eyes and still have that

Night-vision
advantage over them.

That sounds to
me like a plausible myth.

And the reason is that if you

Keep one eye covered with a

Dark patch, youcankeep the

Nighttime vision cells from

Getting exposed to light and

Keep their sensitivity
in darkness.

Narrator: and that works

Because the eye has two

Major sets of cells
-- cones and rods.

The cone-shaped cells in the

Retina enable us to see fine

Detail and color
in bright conditions.

And the rod cells, which are

Super sensitive to low levels of

Light, help us see in the dark.

But the catch is, after being in

The light, it takes a while for

The rod cells to get
warmed up for night vision.

So I'm wearing
my pirate eye patch.

That means I've got the rods

Active on that side and then the

Cones active on
the eye that can see.

That should work.

That should be exactly
what's happening.

Narrator: okay.

But thisis"mythbusters," where

We leave no theory untested.

Basically, kari gets an eye

Patch and allows the covered eye

Plenty of time to
adjust to the dark.

Dr. Duncan then bleaches kari's

Other eye with bright light.

This feels sort of dizzying.

I kind of feel like I'm in that

Movie "clockwork orange."

Narrator: she then tests to

See how long it is before kari

Can see low levels
of light again.

For a comparison, the test is

Repeated with the
already dark adjusted eye.

So, here's how you did with

The unpatched eye
that had all the light.

It took about 25 minutes for you

To see the dimmest level of

Light you could see or it took

About 25 minutes for your rods

To recover from
that bright light.

Now, if we look at the eye that

Was patched the whole time --

Wow, what a difference.

Exactly.

As soon as we turned off the

Light, you were immediately able

To see as dim a level as you

Were able to see after about 25,



Been exposed to
the bright light.

So the patch allowed you to have

Good sensitivity of your rods

Right away after
the bright light.

Narrator: so it looks like

Kari has got the science behind

The eye-patch myth covered.

And if she can find her way to

The door, we can
move things along.

I can't see anything still.

Narrator: adam and jamie are

Testing the theory that in a

Pirate-ship battle, it's not the

Direct hit from the cannonball

To fear most, but the

Splintering wood caused by the

Shell piercing the ship.

Okay, so, this is a
small-scale cannon test.

And since we can't fire black

Powder cannons inside of jamie's

Shop, we've built an
extremely large air cannon.

This is the reservoir.

This is a nice, big, 2-inch

Valve which we will activate

With a switch from behind there,

Out of sight of this so in case

Any bounce-backs happen, they

Don't happen through our heads.

Through this 21-foot barrel all

The way down here, through the

Chronometer so we can
tell exactly how fast that

Cannonball's going, past these

Lines which will tell us on the

High-speed exactly how fast that

Cannonball's going, into this

Panel, which will then be blown

Into splinters, which will embed

Themselves into
these foam panels.

The cannonball will rest into

This bulletproof vest, and we'll

Be able to see what happens.

Our first test with the pine

Was actually pretty spectacular.

The shrapnel
created is quite nasty.

It looks like this whole area

Would be a bloody mess if you

Happened to be
standing right next to it.

Wow!

That is awesome.

Narrator: splinters a-plenty,

But has it achieved the



Required to simulate
a genuine cannon?

273 Miles per hour.

It's slower than I was hoping.

But it's still pretty darn fast

For a 20-foot barrel.

Narrator: so the air cannon

Isn't quite up to speed.

But at this stage, they're just

Comparing the relative

Splintering qualities
of the wood.

And seeing as they're already

Achieving an impressive spray of

Shrapnel, they're
going to move on.

Next on the cannonball
run -- white oak.

Three, two, one.

Oh.

[ Laughs ]

Looks like a bit
of it's missing.

Narrator: a large chunk of

White oak went walkabout.

But the frag pattern on the

Foam panels is conclusive.

That was brutal.

That is the real deal.

I mean, these things
are almost obliterated.

Well, it definitely made a

Lot of shrapnel, even
more than the pine.

Well, yeah, it made
less piecesof shrapnel.

But what it did was they were

Much bigger and looks
like a lot more lethal.

Narrator: looks can k*ll, but

Can the splinters?

Based on what I'm seeing, the

Shrapnel coming out of the oak

Would be considerably
more deadly than the pine.

Not only are the pieces -- like,

The splinters coming off of the

Oak -- larger, but the
wood itself is denser.

And I can't help but think that

It'd penetrate a human's
skin or flesh better.

I was pulling the
tape off of this to reset it.

And can you guess --

Some of it's
stuck into the wood?

Uh-huh.

Right there.

Yeah, they're larger, heavier

Pieces so, you know, that starts

To make me think that
this would be possible.

It'd be possible for somebody to

Be k*lled with a splinter like

That in the right place, and

Remembering we're only
at around -- what was it?

Yeah, we're at half the speed

And half the size
of a real cannon.

That is awesome!

Narrator: so of the two woods

Tested so far, white oak clearly

Has the deadliest potential.

The final test is -- red oak.

In three, two, one.

[ Laughs ]

I love this.

Thunk!

Narrator: it's a
bull's-eye every time.

And the wood is flying.

[ Laughs ]

Yeah, it's more really,

Really, really big splinters.

Well, is there anything

Sticking through
the back of the wood?

No. No.

Although...the foam is

Definitely much more decimated

On this test than
any of the others.

It doesn't look like any of the

Shards penetrated as deeply as

They did with the white oak.

Narrator: so, adam, day one

Of playing pirates,
almost through.

What say ye to the myth?

You know, I wasn't so sure

About this myth when we started.

What's more lethal
than a cannon shot?

But I'm looking at this and I'm

Really thinking that there's

Some meat on the bones of this

Thing, that it really
actually might be plausible.

Because these shards of white

Oak were stuck into the plywood

And pine boards that
were our backstops.

That takes a lot of energy to

Jam wood into wood like that.

Narrator: it's been a good

Day's science and most

Self-respecting pirates
would head home.

But adam has
little self-respect.

Now let's fire into
something really fun.

What do you have in mind?

Well, we have a big cast

Ballistic-material
head of grant.

Okay.

Narrator: pirate-speak
lesson number two.

A young likable pirate is

Affectionately
called a scurvy dog.

And grant, the "mythbusters"

Version of a scurvy dog if ever

There was one, has cast his own

Face in ballistics material.

There's no scientific
purpose to this at all.

This is totally just for fun.

We rarely finish with a little

Time extra, so we might as well

Use the equipment we've set up.

Grant's face, test
number one and only.

Firing in -- three, two, one.

[ Laughs ]

Narrator: it was
a successful blast.

But surprisingly,
grant looks uninjured.

Something happened.

It didn't go through his face.

Are you sure?

I'm positive.

What's in the
back of his head?

There's no exit wound.

I think it... I
think it hit him --

What's that?

It went right through.

No.

Yeah.

That right there.

Wait, let me see.

You think it went all
the way through his face?

Where else did it go?

It hit the thing.

You're right!

You're totally right.

This thing went all the
way through his head.

[ Laughs ]

That's one of the most

Wrongity-wrong
things we've ever done.

Narrator: when it comes to

Pirate myths,
the "ayes" have it.

But are those eye patches

Really a clever method of moving

From bright light
into a dark ship?

After a scientific fact-finding

Mission at the eye doctor,

Kari's confident this
myth is looking good.

I'm starting to feel like we

Might have a
confirmed myth here.

Narrator: and back at the

Shop, the team gets set to test

The practical applications.

Ahoy, matey.

I see land ahead.

Narrator: so they're going to

Build a pirate ship jungle gym.

I'm going to make a cannon.

Narrator: then ask eye

Patch-wearing adam and jamie to

Complete the course in the dark.

[ As tony montana ] do
you want to play rough?

Okay.

Say hello to my I'll friend.

[ Normal voice ]
fire in the hole!

[ Bang ]

Narrator: there will be

Obstacles to dodge,
cannonballs to avoid.

Cannonball!

Narrator: just your average

Day out pillaging
and plundering, really.

[ Laughs evilly ]

Narrator: and what's a

Pirate's story without
a fair maiden in distress?

What I'm going to do is take

These pictures, put them on the

Computer and
print them life-size.

I'm going to make these

Pop-ups that grant is going to

Pneumatically control, so that

When they come by, poof, if

It's a bad pirate, they stab.

And if it's the girl
they're trying to rescue --

They stab.

They don't stabme.

I'm the good one.

Narrator: so it's life-size

Pirate pop-ups on the poop deck.

But any pirate worth his salt

Won't be satisfied with a good

Night's work until he's
found the treasure chest.

And what goes
inside the chest, kari?

Booty goes inside it.

Narrator: kari has
secured her booty.

Two pneumatic pirates are ready

To pop up and
the ship is in shape.

So, how about a demo?

But, remember, adam and jamie

Will have to do it in the dark.

This looks really good.

I'm really feeling good.

Okay, so you got buckets,

Various boxes on the
ground, first pirate.

That is the
evil grant pirate.

This is evil grant, and

They're going to have to stab

This one through the heart.

And hopefully
not walk into that.

Walk under it.

Okay.

Then pops up the fair maiden

That they donotstab.

No stabbing of the maiden.

Oh, that's brutal!

Oh!

Oh, my god!

That's going to be nuts.

Okay, avoiding the cannon.

Not knocking
over the cannonballs.

Pop-up evil tory pirate.

Which they'll have
to run through the heart.

Narrator: after all that,

They get to raid the treasure

Chest and raise the jolly roger.

Hoist the flag.

And just when they
think they're done --

[ Laughs ]

They're caught.

Narrator: all they
need now are the victims.

Narrator: it's time to sit

Back with a bottle of
grog for a laundry legend?

So, guys, what's the myth?

The myth is that in ye oldie

Times, pirates used rum, not

Only for inspiration but
also as a stain remover.

Well, pirates don't strike me

As the most fastidious lot, but

I suppose if you had blood all

Over your shirt and you had

Shore leave, you'd
want to wash it off first.

Especially if you had a date.

Pirates had dates?

[ Chuckles ]

Narrator: pirates and rum go

Together like cannons and ba*ls.

But is it possible that they

Don't just drink grog, but use

It to get those puffy pirate

Shirts whiter than white?

Well, obviously, we're going

To need some authentic pirate

Shirt material, and we're going

To need to stain it with some

Period-accurate stains.

Blood, sweat and tar.

Perfect.

We also obviously
need some sort ye oldie rum.

I think we should have

Something to compare that to.

So I think we should use some ye

Oldie soap as well.

I have a secret method that

The pirates may have used as a

Laundry technique, and we should

Compare all three of those to

Some modern detergent.

So, I'll do the staining.

I'll do the cleaning.

And I guess that
leaves me to judge.

Exactly.

Narrator: so it's time for

Adam to get down and dirty.

The plan for the test is to

Choose three most common stains

That pirates would encounter.

One would be, of course, blood.

Another would
be, of course, sweat.

Pirates were not
known for their bathing.

And the third would be something

You'd find on the ship, which

Would be pitch or tar.

I'm going to make up some

One-foot square
samples of this cloth.

We're going to put those various

Stains on it and try and see

Whether or not rum will actually

Take those stains out.

[ Pirate voice ] being a

Pirate's a bit difficult what

With the -- the not bathing, the

Hot sun, the blood, the sweat.

This rough fabric is
very harsh on me skin.

[ Normal voice ] we don't have

Any pirate shirts from the

Period, but we do know that

While a fancy gentleman of the

Age might have had a very

Fine-weave shirt made of linen,

Pirates would have used coarser

Stuff called lockram.

The closest we could find is

This bleached embroidery fabric,

Which has a thread count of 40.

It's quite rough, but
it's perfect for our tests.

And I think it's the closest

Thing we could possibly find.

Narrator: the first authentic

Pirate stain is blood.

And adam knows just
where to find some.

We have it in the fridge

Because jamie likes to have it

Every day for lunch.

[ Laughs ]

No.

[ As jamie ] has anyone taken

My blood out of the fridge?

[ Sighs ]

Narrator: next adam takes

Jamie's lunch and smears the

Pig's blood over
four sample sheets.

[ Laughs ]

This is the plight of
the pirate laundryman.

Next up for our
pirate shirts is pitch.

Now, blood and sweat are easy

Choices when it
comes to pirates.

We wanted to choose
something like grime.

And we know that pitch was used

On pirate boats and
period boats at the time.

We've used it on plenty
of other episodes.

It's very dirty stuff.

So that's what we're going to

Put on our pirate shirts next.

Ta-da.

We have one stain to go.

And I'm going to have
to work for this one.

Narrator: yep, adam has a

Plan to sweat for science.

I'm going to do three things.

I'm going to get on jamie's

Treadmill in my sweat lodge,

Formerly his mold room.

And I'm going to put on the

Sweatiest of the sweaty things

We have, which is our fire suit.

That thing is damn hot inside.

I should have no problem

Producing lots of the correct

Bodily fluid for this test.

Narrator: to harvest the

Bodily fluids, adam arranges the

Shirt material for maximum
moisture absorption.

It's go time.

Narrator: adam leaps onto

The treadmill,
ready to stain up.

But after 15 seconds on his

Very own wheel of death, he's

Gasping like an
asthmatic hamster.

It says I've only
burned 20 calories.

What's that about?

Narrator: why don't we fast

Forward to the
end of the workout.

After all, who wants to watch a

Grown man ooze sweat stains?

[ Pirate voice ] now, we've

Got three kinds of stains here.

We've got blood, pitch and

Sweat, or as pirates like to

Refer to it, saturday night.

There we go.

Narrator: but
there's a problem.

Adam's sweat
doesn't stink or stain.

My sweat stain
isn't working out.

It's not very visual, and...

I guess it's all my clean

Living -- I can't
smell the thing at all.

But I need a third stain to

Round out common pirate stains

So I can try out these
detergents and I'm thinking

Oranges.

They kept them on the ships to

Prevent scurvy, and I guess for

Some kind of entertainment.

So I'm just going to blow these

Down and scrunch them on some of

This cloth, and we'll see if the

Detergents in our various tests

Will take this stain out.

Narrator: so adam makes like

A messy pirate eater and swabs

The samples with plenty of o.j.

Oh, that's good oranges!

Narrator: kari, grant and

Tory have set sail on the

Eye-patch myth, and they're

Ready to press-g*ng
adam and jamie into service.

Avast, you scurvy dogs.

Narrator: after adam and

Jamie have dressed for the

Occasion, the scurvy dogs give

Out their instructions.

You got to wait
out here 15 minutes.

I know your eyes are relatively

Adjusted to the light.

We just want to make sure

That you're totally
in daylight right now.

Preferably stare at the

Clouds or something white.

I know it's tough, but it's the

Closest we can get
to bleaching the rods.

Narrator: so while grant,

Kari and tory prepare the

Course, our newly minted pirates

Hang tough, letting
their eyes adjust.

[ Pirate voice ] it's not

Easy being a pirate -- waiting

All the time or the
pillaging, the robbing.

Narrator: how about k*lling

Some time with a
prediction or two?

My sense about the eye patch

Is that, you know, your eyes

Adjust pretty quickly.

I think within a couple of

Minutes of being in there,
there's not gonna be a

Significant difference.

That's my impression.

I predict that I'll be

Dancing on jamie's
intestines in minutes.

[ Laughs evilly ]

Narrator: before the
intestine-dancing begins,

Piratess kari and her translator

Grant, the parrot,
have the rules.

Now listen ye scalawags and

Listen well, for you will

Only hear this but one time.

Send only the evil pirates down

To davy jones' locker.

The evil pirates will have

A target in the middle.

You have to run it
through with your cutlass.

Don't harm the maiden.

Don't harm the maiden.

Don't knock over
the cannonballs.

Don't knock over
the cannonballs.

Find the pirate chest,

Unlock it and hoist
the jolly roger.

There's going to be a

Treasure chest at the end on the

Ground with this lock.

You unlock it with your key.

Which each of
you will get right now.

Okay.

Inside of the chest is
going to be this flag.

Tie the flag on,
hoist it up to the top.

Right.

Let's go!

Narrator: the first seafarer

Aboard is red beard, the savage.

He needs to instantly see in the

Dark with an eye that's been

Subjected to bright light, while

His dark-adjusted
eye remains patched.

Right, lads,
let's go get them!

I can't see a bloody thing.

All right.

Now we release the pit bulls.

[ Laughs ]

Look at him.

He looks like a blind pirate.

Oh, [bleep]

[ Laughter ]

Narrator: by design,
it's pitch black in there.

The light you can see
on-camera is infrared.

To adam, it's as dark as the

Inside of a grog barrel.

He seems very
disoriented at the moment.

Narrator: right from the

Get-go, it's pretty obvious

That red beard is having trouble

Finding his sea legs.

When you go from bright light

Into the dark, you're
as blind as a bat.

Oh, he's going
to hit his head!

Oh, he's climbing
over the sacks.

He's going the wrong way.

The hardest
possible route to take.

Okay, he's coming up to kari.

[ Laughs ]

Oh!

He just got hit with the bag.

[ Laughter ]

Narrator: adam has missed the

First evil pirate and
kicked some cannonballs.

But when confronted
by evil tory...

The sword is the key.

[ Laughter ]

Narrator: ...he can't decide

Who it is until he
has a quick feel.

Oh, I bet it's a pirate.

There he goes!

All: yeah!

Good one!

At least he k*lled one.

Narrator: after a fun-filled

Four minutes, adam's eye is

Starting to adjust to the dark.

He now knows his
port from starboard.

Okay, he's opened the chest.

Nice.

He's gonna get
the flag, turn around.

Narrator: and the final task

Is noticeably easier.

Oh, wait.

There we go.

Hoisted the jolly roger, did i.

Ah!

[ Laughter ]

Oh, and that missed,
but that was quite funny.

Narrator: adam narrowly

Escapes capture and makes
a quick exit overboard.

Hey!

Nice work!

Nice.

You were great.

That was fantastic.

You guys got to watch it?

Oh, yeah.

I missed a pirate
or two, didn't i?

Yeah, you missed the one

Pirate in the beginning.

I could not see.

Literally, it was just black.

I came across this thing that

Had a piece of
paper in the middle.

I figured that was a pirate.

Narrator: subjectively, adam

Was in the dark, but kari was in

The crow's nest keeping time.

So let's get the
official results.

I'm very, very impressed.

He made it through all of that

Darkness of the obstacle

Course in 5 minutes
and 20 seconds.

He only got two time penalties.

One, he didn't stick the first

Pirate and, two, he knocked over

One of the cannonballs.

So in the end, 5 minutes, 40

Seconds, adam's first test.

Narrator: okay, it's time for

Captain hyneman to board the

Ship, find the treasure chest

And hoist the jolly roger.

And just like red beard, he's

Completely in the dark.

He fails all the tasks
except for taking out tory.

Ah, did he k*ll you?

Yeah.

All: yay!

Narrator: but after that,

It's back to feeling
his way around.

They really are super blind.

They really can't see anything.

Oh, he's totally disoriented.

Now, he's going
to steer the ship.

[ Laughter ]

Narrator: it's taken a while,

But jamie finally raises
the pirate standard.

Caught with the net!

Narrator: the big question

Now is what difference will it

Make when our mythbusting
pirates switch eyes.

Yay!

Narrator: adam has been

Shedding blood, juggling

Oranges, and painting with

Pitch, in an attempt to solve

The myth that pirates
used rum as a stain remover.

The plight of the
pirate laundryman.

[ Laughs ]

Narrator: but before the

Cleanup with grog, adam is

Looking into his alternative

Maritime method of
doing the laundry.

I remember hearing years ago

That on ye oldie ships, they

Would save the pirates' urine or

The shipmates'
urine in a barrel.

And when urine stays around and

Is exposed to the air, it

Evaporates into ammonia and that

Ammonia is then used for washing

Everyone's laundry.

Narrator: it
sounds improbable.

But after a quick research

Break, adam confirms
the story and the details.

History of washing website.

I love the web.

Narrator: the key factoid

Here is that over time, the urea

In urine will break
down to ammonia.

And ammonia is a common alkaline

Used in household
cleaning products.

So adam is ready to cook up an

Authentic recipe for
washing with wee.

[ Urinating ]

[ French accent ] what I am

Trying to do here is reduce some

Urine, or "wee-wee," to a more

Raw essence of wee-wee.

The recipe for using urine as a

Cleaning agent like the pirates

Might have, calls
for stale urine.

I do not have stale urine,
but I have a hot plate.

Whew.

So I heat it for a while,
boils the water out.

I get more stale urine.

Or wee-wee.

I can state from experience that

This job does not make you the

Most popular guy on the boat.

Narrator: just be thankful

That from the safety of your

Homes, you can't smell
adam's eau de toilette.

Notice that it is a much

Darker color and this time I

Have only 300 milliliters.

I have reduced it by half.

Removing mostly water, leaving

The essential
chemicals for washing.

Narrator: and for the

Washing, it's time
to tag-team jamie.

I've got three ye oldie

Cleaners and one modern cleaner

To try out on each of
these sets of samples.

I've got ye oldie soap made in

The way ye oldie soap was made.

I've got ye oldie rum, which is

The crux of our myth -- that

They used rum as
a cleaning agent.

I have some stale wee, which is

Broken down mostly to ammonia,

Which was also used as a

Bleaching agent on pirate ships.

And I have modern detergent.

Your task is to try each one of

These out on all
three of these samples.

[ Laughs ]

I'm glad we're near
the ventilation booth.

Narrator: to fortify himself

For the job, captain hyneman has

A swig of grog and
puts on the rubber gloves.

Okay.

First off is the pee.

Narrator: he then goes to

Work on the bloodstain.

Bloodstain is pretty tough

Foranykind of detergent, even

Modern ones and
especially once it's set.

If you had done this when the

Blood was fresh, it
might be a lot different.

So far, it is acting clearly as

A solvent for the stain, because

It's spreading it out.

But it's not removing it.

Narrator: next jamie uses the

Urine to tackle the
tar and citrus stains.

He then repeats the process with

The authentic 17th century soap,

Modern detergent containing the

Powerful stain remover hydrogen

Peroxide, and last
but not least, the rum.

But straight away, jamie spotted

A fundamental flaw in the myth.

I would think that any

Self-respecting pirate would

Rather drink it than use
it to clean a stain out.

Narrator: so that's all three

Stains scrubbed with all
four cleaning products.

And it's soon apparent that the

Only thing coming out in the

Wash is a negative
conclusion to this myth.

It seems the solvent and

Stain-removing properties of

The alcoholic rum are limited.

This batch is the rum and the

Various stains, and I can tell

Right off just immediately that

The rum did the least good job

Of all of these
different products.

It did less than the soap, it

Did less than the detergent, it

Did less than the urine.

Narrator: you
heard that right.

Incredibly, adam's urine recipe

Is looking good, and
jamie's work here is done.

So, it's over to
kari for the judging.

If you're ready, kari, we

Have washed each of these

Four piles -- one in rum, one in

Ye oldie soap, one in...

Stale urine, and one
in modern detergent.

You're to look at all four

And and tell me which one you

Think got the cleanest, which

One's the second
cleanest, et cetera.

Okay, light red.

That one's pretty good
-- a little yellowish.

That looks bad.

Nobody got the tar out.

This is redder.

The tar's a little better.

Okay.

The tar is bad on that one.

But blood's really
good on that one.

And -- okay, whatever
this one is is the worst.

Okay.

I would say that this
one is the best for blood.

That one's the best for tar.

All right.

So the worst one
was ye oldie rum.

Oh, busted!

Your best one for
blood was stale urine.

And the best one for the tar was

Detergent, the modern detergent.

Those are the two best.

The soap didn't really
work well at all.

Well, I think that pretty

Much definitively busts this rum

As a cleaning agent
-- totally busted.

Yeah, it's busted.

I agree -- busted.

Narrator: adam and jamie have

Completed the pirate jungle gym

With their unpatched eye.

Oh!

It hit him in the back.

Narrator: with hilarious,

Flailing in the dark results.

Now to the heart of the myth.

Will the canny use of an
eye patch and an already

Dark-adjusted eye give our

Amateur pirates an advantage?

They're about to find out.

Jamie and adam
have been sitting outside.

They have the patches on.

So their eyes are
adjusted to the dark.

They're going to come in, switch

The patch to the other eye and

Then go through the course.

Narrator: to prevent adam and

Jamie clocking a faster time

Because of familiarity with the

Course, the obstacles
have been switched about.

Adam's excited.

I'm so pumped, I can't wait

To switch this eye patch!

Yeah!

Narrator: the myth suggests

Adam should do this test a lot

Quicker than his five minutes of

Fumbling and stumbling
with his light-exposed eye.

He swaps the patch.

Now the eye adjusted to dark is

Uncovered and in he goes.

It's like night and day.

Narrator: and it's

Immediately obvious
the switch has worked.

Wait, is that a pirate?

Oh!

Wait, is that a pirate?

Oh, it's a lass.

Yeah, he can see.

Narrator: before the team in

The crow's nest can say, "walk

The plank, you landlubber,"

Red beard is almost done.

We're looking at


He's already k*lled his time.

There's my jolly roger.

There's me flag.

Oh, my god!

I can't believe the difference!

And there we go.

Oh, the net fell on me!

Oh!

Woo!

That was like night and day.

That's nice.

That was incredible.

The difference,
is it unbelievable?

The difference is amazing.

I really didn't -- I can't see.

I really didn't expect the

Difference to be
as great as it was.

But whereas before, it was just

Like reaching out in
blackness the first time.

The second time it was like,

There's a pirate, pfltt.

Boop, boop, boop.

Narrator: the reason adam

Found it so easy -- he'd been

Wearing the patch over half an

Hour and the rod cells in the

Covered eye were warmed up and

Ready for nocturnal action.

And the numbers back that up.

Did the course in 1 minute,



Minutes and 45 seconds faster

Than his first test
without the night vision.

So significant amount of savings

In time and, what's more, 100%

Accuracy.

[ Snoring ]

Narrator: while red beard

Rests up after a hard night's

Pillaging, captain hyneman

Launches into the fray, swapping

His eye patch so he can
use his dark-adjusted eye.

How's that?

This is like
totally different.

Narrator: no flailing
in the dark this time.

He's more than twice as fast and

Twice as accurate.

Yay!

That's amazing.

That was -- it was -- I never

Would have believed that it

Would have taken me, I guess, a

Half an hour or something like

That just sitting there in the

Dark to get what I just did with

Switching the patch.

It was excellent.

Just what we wanted to hear.

Narrator: the myth clearly

Has bright prospects.

But they're going to run it one

More time with their
light-adjusted eye.

And kari has a
trick up her sleeve.

We've left the course exactly

The same as when they went

Through it, with the
adjusted night-vision eye.

This way, we can totally

Empirically prove that if they

Can get through this course and

It takes them twice the time or

Any more time than it took them

With their adjusted eye, we've

Definitely proved this myth.

Go get them, k*ller.

Ready?

Let's pillage!

I don't know if
that's legal in california.

Narrator: once again, it's

Obvious that the dark adjustment

Is a massive advantage, as adam

Struggles to plot a course.

This was truly
an excellent control.

I mean, it's difficult to tease

The science out of this myth,

Because it's such
a subjective thing.

However, I have to say there's

Nothing subjective about the

Fact that it was much easier

With the eye that had been

Covered than with the eye that

Was exposed to daylight.

And that third test proved it

Hands down, so that's awesome!

We have nailed this one.

Well, I think jamie and adam

Are pretty convinced of the

Results of the eye-patch myth.

We ran them once with their

Eyes adjusted to daylight.

They stumbled around
the course like idiots.

When they had their eyes

Adjusted for the dark by using

The patch, they were able to

Breeze through the course.

As one last final control, we

Sent them through the obstacle

Course one last time with their

Daylight vision taking out the

Variable of them knowing the

Course, and they still messed it

Up just as bad as the first time

They went through.

I have to say
this myth is plausible.

Aye, I say plausible, too.

Arr!

Plausible?

You're right.

Plausible.

[ Laughs ]

Arr!

Hi.

So, this pirate myth comes
mostly from hollywood.

And this is where the pirate is

In the crow's nest.

He needs to get down
to the deck of the ship.

To get down quickly, he stabs

His knife into the sail
and rides it down safely.

Narrator: douglas
fairbanks -- that'ssr., not

Jr., Demonstrates the perfect

Swashbuckling technique.

Knife in and down ye go in a

Controlled slide, landing

Smoothly on the deck, ready to

Fight another battle.

All right.

Knife sail, let's
define the myth.

Okay.

I think you should ride the sail

All the way down to the bottom

Without falling out.

And once you reach the deck,

You should have so little injury

That you can jump up
and continue fighting.

All right.

So I guess the next step is we

Go talk to some experts, find

Out what kind of knives and what

Kind of sails that these pirates

Would have been using.

I think that's a
perfect place to start.

Oh!

Mutiny!

Narrator: that's the plan,

But this myth is in need
of nautical knowledge.

And for that, our landlubbers

Board the remodeled


We don't really know anything

About pirate sails, so
we found a guy who does.

Narrator: and chris jannini

Is the man at the pointy
end of the question.

So, I hear that you are an

Expert on sails of
different periods.

Not an expert.

I have worked on some pirate

Ships over the years and I have

Worked with some of the -- two

Of the best sail-makers in the

Country on brief periods of

Time, so -- more modern sails --

But I'm pretty familiar with

Some techniques
of building sails.

We classify "expert" as

Somebody who knows more than us,

Which is pretty much there's

Experts all over the place.

Okay, chris, so, the myth

We're looking into right now is

Like in the pirate movies where

The pirate takes a sword, stabs

It into sail and then
rides it all the way down.

Have you ever seen that?

You think it's possible?

I've heard of that, and

Hopefully the sailmaker is not

At the bottom of that sail

Because he wouldn't
make it past the deck.

Narrator: sailmaker be

Damned, there's a myth
that needs exploring.

It's time to get practical and

See how easy it is to
slice a sail with a knife.

Snag.

Oh, there we go.

Narrator: like a hot knife

Through butter, but there's a

Catch -- there's always a catch.

See, these reef bands --

There's going to be one or two

Or maybe up to four depending on

The sail you're trying to come

Down with your knife.

Horizontally?

This is the top
of the sail this way.

You're coming down, then you

Have to go through
the reef band.

You're going to
get stuck on that.

There might be two.

There might be four of those.

You're talking about the

Thickness of the canvas, plus

The folded-over edge.

You're going to have twice the

Thickness, three times the

Thickness of that canvas.

Now you're talking three
pennies' thick of canvas.

It's about like thin plywood,

Like eighth-inch plywood.

It might decelerate
you, though.

It would slow you down.

It might break your hand.

If you're coming down that fast

And hit one of these seams, it's

Going to pop the knife
right out of your hand.

Narrator: arr!

So sails be more than
just a flap of canvas.

Ye old reef bands make this

Myth more of a challenge.

I think we got lucky.

We got a lot of
information here.

Yeah, we got a lead on the

Type of sail to use,
type of material.

So, I guess the next thing we

Need to do is get all the

Materials and take it back to

The shop and test this.

All right.

Thanks, chris.

You're welcome.

My pleasure.

Narrator: salty sea dogs adam

And jamie are looking into the

Myth that the splinters from a

Cannonball piercing the ship's

Hull would cause more deaths

Than the cannonball itself.

Avast!

What does "avast" mean?

Narrator: sounds like a cue

For pirate-speak
lesson number three.

"Avast" comes from the dutch

Translation of "hold fast."

But it can also be used as a

Greeting, as in "avast, you old

Sea dog, where are
ye at with this myth?"

Tests with a small-scale
cannonball on authentic

Pirate-ship wood produce
spectacular splintering.

With white oak,
the deadliest of all.

So it's on to stage two.

But with the researchers unable

To track down a real cannon, the

Guys scale up their air cannon.

The cannon's based on the

Fact that g*n powder, when you

Add flame to it, expands at this

Phenomenal rate, dozens of

Thousands of feet per second.

It's what propels b*ll*ts

Forward, it's what propels
cannonballs forward.

We're trying to replicate the

Speed of a cannonball
by using compressed air.

It's the same principle.

We're keeping air into a small

Volume and then we're gonna

Release it with these two valves

And it's going to expand.

Narrator: this is a
plumber's paradise.

But can a bigger air cannon

Actually produce the same

expl*sive power
as a real cannon?

It's going to expand
slower than g*n powder.

There's nothing we
can do about that.

But even though those speeds are

Lower, I still think we're

Looking at a valid test here,

Because we're looking at the

Impact of metal and wood, and

We're looking at the relative

Difference between the lethality

Of that metal cannonball and the

Splinters of wood
that come off the impact.

Narrator: bigger air, bigger

Air cannon, bigger cannonball.

This is without a doubt the

Biggest air cannon
I've ever built.

It's nothing but raw, awesome

Power safely implemented.

I am satisfied and filthy, two

Of my favorite states.

Narrator: adam's in heaven,

But jamie's getting
all the mail.

I'm not sure yet, but judging

By the weight, these
are our cannonballs.

[ Thuds ]

Can we get adam down here?

I want to see him
juggle these puppies.

Nice!

I have a question for you.

Yeah?

I want to juggle
these, of course.

Uh-huh.

[ Laughs ]

What are these, about 10 pounds?

They're 6 pounds a piece.

6 Pounds.

Oh!

Now, that's a workout.

Whew!

Oh, my god, this is hard work.

Narrator: 18
pounds of workout.

Just don't -- [ clatter ]

...drop them.

So let's recap the
inventory for this myth.



The maxi air cannon,
double-check.

Authentic 16th-century pirate

Ship -- captain,
we have a problem.

There's none here.

Or here.

Or even here.

But adam being the resourceful

Chap that he is, has a
plan to build his own.

So, I've come to svendsen's

Boat works in the alameda

Marina, because hopefully they

Have an expert who can tell me

About what kind of dimensions

They were -- how thick the wood

Was, how they were constructed.

Narrator: adam knows pirate

Ships have horizontal outer

Planking supported by vertical

Ribbing, or stanchions, and

Thinner inner planking.

For the correct dimensions of

These intricate parts, he seeks

The wise counsel of master

Shipwright john phillips.

So, I'd like to be as

Accurate as possible with my

Tests, and I think I'd like to

Duplicate both the inner
and the outer planking.

I'd like an idea from you what

The thicknesses of the inner and

Outer I should be looking at and

Also how far apart they are.

Certainly depending on the

Origin of the vessel and the

Size of the vessel, the
stanchion or frame would

Probably be as wide in this

Dimension as it is thick in this

Dimension, so say 6x6.

And those could easily
be less than a foot apart.

And the planking could be 2-,

Could be 3-inch thick.

And maybe the inner planking

Would be 2-inch thick.

So you've got 3, 6, and 2.

All right.

Narrator: with the numbers

Hastily scribbled on the back of

His hand, adam heads
back to the shop to get busy.

Oh, look, it's beautiful.

That's a pirate
ship right there.

Narrator: uh, adam, haven't

You forgotten something?

It doesn't look like much,

But it will be a
pirate ship soon.

Stand by.

Narrator: don't you need

Another hundred or
so tons more wood?

These are the uprights.

These represent the upright

Beams that describe the
cross-section of the ship.

I'm only going to do a small

Section of this pirate ship.

It's all I've got time for.

So this is going to be up around

The railing of the
deck, about 4 feet down.

In fact, on a real ship of the

Period, these things would be

Placed about this far apart.

I'm only going to place two of

These this far apart because

That's what we're
sh**ting between.

The other two I'll place farther

Apart because they're just to

Hold up the rest of rest of the

Wood slats that
make up my pirate ship.

Narrator: and that
gap in the center?

Right here in the center --

That's where I'm
gonna be firing.

That's where I'll have

The real wood, and behind it,

I'll have the real pirates.

Narrator: can ye trusty

Dagger in a sail slow
down a plummeting pirate?

That's the question kari, grant,

And tory are
attempting to answer.

So far, they've boarded the good

Ship "balclutha" and
plundered her for knowledge.

And this myth
won't be plain sailing.

So as it turns out,
it'snot so easy to do this.

There are variations in the

Thickness of the sail, sharpness

Of the blade, and the angle at

Which you hold the blade can

Make a huge difference.

Maybe before we go risking

Our lives and trying to ride

Down a sail with a knife, we

Should do some more tests so we

Can get some better data.

Let's set up a test where we

Can use a period knife and cut

Through a period sail, but maybe

Make the knife static and run

The cloth past it, that way we

Take out the human element.

We be test the different

Sharpnesses of blades to find

Out what the optimum sharpness

Is so that you get
down the sail safely.

Narrator: so,
it's sail-slicing 101.

And tory is the
man with the plan.

All right, so, what we're

Trying to replicate is a person

Stabbing a sail, riding
down it with a knife.

What we're gonna do is we're

Actually gonna be
pulling the sail up.

And so, in order to do that, we

Need at least the average man's

Weight to pull that sail up.

Okay, dude.


Pure pirate action.

Okay.

Got it?

[ Grunting ]

Be careful.

You're gonna blow
out your o-ring.

That's heavy.

Narrator: it's a simple

Build -- the knife will be
locked off and a run of

Thick canvas pulled past it

Using a dead-weight drop.

A good knife should
have little trouble.

But which knife
would apirate use?

There's an old pirate saying,

"Keep your blade sharp -- you're

Packing plentiful."

I hate this stuff.

Why do people
pack with this stuff?

So these are cutlasses?

I believe they are.

Are they covered?

I don't know.

Oh!

Whoa!

[ Laughs ]

Avast ye.

Arr, you scurvy dog.

Narrator: sheath
those cutlasses, boys.

There's more knives
in play for this myth.

But ye can only choose one.

Whoa!

Nice.

That's sweet.

Cool.

Narrator: three knives have

Been delivered to test the

Thrust and parry of
this sail-sliding myth.

A cutlass -- too long.

A gurkha dagger -- not too many

Pirates in landlocked nepal.

So it's this stabbing knife

Known as the main gauche.

It's not only a
authentic period piece.

It's the same type used by our

Swashbuckling hollywood hero.

All right.

So, you know, with this whole

Myth it's really important to

See how much speed the knife is

Going to slow you down.

If you're going too fast and you

Hit the deck of the ship, you're

Going to break your ankles.

That's not good.

So what we're going to do right

Now is we're going to see how

Fast the knife is actually
slowing the sail down.

Narrator: remember, the

Pirate has to land safely on the

Deck after his
knife-assisted fall.

And these two tests, with a

Dull and sharp knife, should

Indicate the relative
speeds of each drop.

Test one, main gauche knife,



Ready?

Beautiful!

Wow.

Narrator: actually, as the

Replays show, things
didn't go quite to plan.

Well, from our first test, we

Got a few kinks that
we have to work out.

Our knife turned and
the sail billowed out.

So, to remedy both of those

Problems, we have angled the

Knife downward a little bit and

We've also added something to

Hold the sail from flopping out

As it raises up into the air.

Narrator: a little sail

Trimming, and the dull blade is

Once again locked and loaded.

Okay, new and improved test

One, dull blade, cotton swatch,

And it is the main
gauche blade speed test.

All right, here we go.

In three, two, one.

Cool!

We got a good test.

Narrator: the blunt knife at

The altered angle
sliced just fine.

Now, for a comparison
with the sharper blade --

A quick once-over on the grinder

And we'll see if fastidious

Pirates have a better chance of

Pulling off this myth.

Test two, sharp
blade, main gauche.

In three, two, one.

Wow!

Nice!

A lot faster.

Beauty.

Our last test comparing the

Sharp main gauche knife to the

Dull one -- definitely the sharp

One is a lot faster.

So I wouldn't want to be relying

On that to get me down a sail

Safely, because you just whoosh,

sh**t all the way down and

Probably end up pretty
hurt at the bottom.

Narrator: so the sharper the

Knife, the faster the fall.

And the faster the fall,
the heavier the landing.

Now it's time to find out if our

Fall guy could
hang on to the knife.

Dude, that's a hot combo.

The well-dressed pirate is

Definitely going to be
wearing that this fall.

Okay, I'm ready for battle.

That doesn't
look dorky at all.

Narrator: dorky, now,
there's a pirate name.

The locked off dull and sharp

Blades both cut
through the cloth easily.

But could a person, even a dorky

One, hold the blade?

Tory's sharp blade
main gauche test.

In three, two, one.

[ Laughs ]

I don't know why
you guys were so worried.

It didn't look hard
at all, 'cause it wasn't.

Looks like there's
some hope for this myth.

This might be a good way to get

Down from your sail.

So now we know with a



Period knife will cut through

Number-four sail fabric.

And dull knife goes slower,

Sharp knife goes faster.

And we also know that a human

Can hold onto a knife
and cut through the sail.

Okay, so, I think next we

Need to ramp it up and see if a



Falling knife will
actually cut the sail.

I think buster's just about

That weight and probably
the man for the job.

Narrator: buster is about to

Enter the pirate business.

That's beautiful.

Narrator: the following is a

Paid commercial program
brought to you by...

Pirates, if you're like me,

You love the life -- the

Pillaging, the freedom,
but you hate the cannons.

The cannons -- the loading, the

Charging, the dropping
of the ba*ls on your foot.

Well, we've developed an

Entirely new product
-- the blowhard 3000.

Firing a 6-pound ball at 300

Miles per hour on
compressed air alone.

It's guaranteed to solve
all your piratical needs.

Our exclusively developed

Manifold at the piratical

Industries labs allows you to

Use only compressed air

Generated by rowing sl*ves to

Propel your cannonballs
at your enemy.

No more black powder, no more

Smoke making your
voice sound like this.

Narrator: sl*ves
not included.

The blowhard 3000, the next

Evolution in pirate technology.

Narrator: we will now resume

Normal programming.

Buccaneer busters adam and

Jamie have built an air cannon

To test the myth that splinters

k*ll more people than
cannonballs in your average

Pirate broadside.

This is what every
modern pirate's using.

Narrator: an authentic cannon

Muzzle velocity is


In the absence of an authentic

Cannon, the blowhard 3000 needs

To get as close
to that as possible.

What we're doing
is a final pressure test.

We're topping up the tanks with

A very high pressure gas that

Gets us up into
the zone we need.

When they put me in a home

Where I can't hurt myself, this

Is what they'll
undoubtedly make me wear.

Narrator: the team looks

Confident, but no one knows if

The blowhard 3000
will blow hard enough.

This test without a cannonball

Will confirm the
high-pressure system is working.

Okay, firing
in three, two, one.

[ Laughs ]

That's a beautiful test.

I feel really, really
good about this deal.

Okay.

Narrator: a perfect

High-pressure test fire means

It's time to take this myth out

Of the workshop and onto the

Firing range for some serious

"Mythbuster"-style fireworks.

Once again, we find ourselves

On the alameda naval base

Runway, which is a beautiful

Mile-and-a-half-long runway.

Ours alone.

Nice and safe.

Narrator: I'm sorry, adam.

Did you say "nice and safe"?

[ Laughs ]

This is a 40-foot-long

Barrel, and it's in
several sections.

We've got the fancy thing on the

End here, and there's a
lot of stuff to line up.

Narrator: like the earlier

Mini air cannon, a long barrel

Concentrates the energy to

Create the required
cannonball velocity.

If they can't get close to

Genuine cannon speed, this

Experiment is going nowhere.

That's what we're firing --


Kilogram, steel cannonball.

To achieve the velocity that

We would get out of a real

Cannon, we'd have to reach in

The neighborhood of 1,200 feet

Per second, and we know this rig

Is not going to do this.

The theoretical max speed that

We'll get out of this rig, if we

Were to just totally go for it,

Is about in the neighborhood of


Which is still pretty fast.

In fact, it's a huge
amount of force.

Narrator: huge if it works.

And this test, the first with a

Cannonball, will find out.

Adam decides that visualizing a

Positive result will help.

It's going to build
up pressure in here.

It's going to come out
this, go whoosh... Voosh.

This is if you could actually

Follow it in real time.

Boof!

And the sand's going to pour

Out of here, and we're
going to cackle a lot.

That's pretty much
what's going to happen.

We are arming the cannon!

Air-cannon test
fire in three, two, one.

Narrator: and cue the cackle.

[ Laughs ]

That was cool!

Narrator: cool indeed.

But do we have
the speed we need?

It's 2,000 frames per second,

So I'm traveling 1
foot every 4 frames.

That a foot in every 2

Milliseconds -- that's


That is... 340 Miles per hour.

That is respectable!

Narrator: respectable.

And it's as good
as it's going to get.

So time to move on.

The next step will be to find

Out how many people a single

Cannonball can k*ll directly.

That way, when they test with

Wooden shrapnel damage,
they have a comparison.

Now that the cannon's

Working, the first test is to

Find out how much damage
it would do to humans.

So we're going to break out our

Human analogs, fire
the cannon into them.

Narrator: human analogs?

Uh, can we check
the truck again?

We've got the side of
the boat, made to genuine

Pirate-ship dimensions, but did

Anyone pack a human analog?

Explain it again, adam,
please, in simple terms.

We're gonna sh**t at the boat

From about point-blank range.

So it'll be here, the
pigs will be here.

Narrator: hold on,
did adam say pigs?

[ Pigs squealing ]

These are 450-pound pigs.

Pigs are used the world over as

Nearly perfect
analogs for humans.

They have similar amounts of

Body fat, similar
skeletal structures.

While they look quite different,

They act very much the same

Under a lot of conditions,

Including getting
hit with a cannonball.

Narrator: rest assured, our

Scientifically accurate porcine

Pirates were
humanely slaughtered.

But instead of being destined

For the supermarket, they've

Been selected for
a higher purpose.

Wake up!

Time for science.

The myth is that more people

Died from splinters than
from actual cannonballs.

And if we want to test it as

More than just a numerical

Anomaly, we want to know how

Many people a single
cannonball could k*ll.

So we lined four of them up in

Front of the barrel, and we're

Gonna see how many sustain what

We consider to be a lethal

Amount of damage
from the single shot.

Narrator: tackling a

Tall-ship tale from tinseltown

Is kari, grant and tory.

They're asking, "can you slide

Down from a top
mast by slicing the sail?"

So far, they've selected their

Knife, tested its sail-sheering

Abilities through plain canvas.

And they know our fall guy can

Hang on to the blade.

All right.

What are we doing?

Narrator: what we're doing,

Tory, is taking this test to the

Next level by introducing

Full-length sails with cross

Seams, known on the
high seas as reef bands.

On the good shipbalclutha, we

Found a pirate sail could have

As many as four of
these cross seams.

And that could be a problem.

This definitely changes what

The knife's going to do when

It goes down the sail.

When you hit these reef band, it

Could throw you out.

Narrator: so the knife has to

Be sharp enough to get
through these thick seams.

But as the guys found out in the

Earlier tests, too sharp and the

Slide down the sail
becomes a free fall.

We're all ready to go.

Buster's ready.

He's got his hands that are

Gonna hold the
knife at any angle.

Hopefully, he'll
hold on to the knife.

We have our sail
hanging from the ceiling.

It's at a height roughly to what

A pirate ship would be.

So that way we can see when he

Lands on the deck what kind of

Injuries he's going to sustain.

All we have to do is hoist

Him up to the quick release,

Stick his knife in the
sail, and let him go.

Narrator: pride
normally goes before a fall.

But on "mythbusters," grant

Jumps in for some
mathematical injury calculation.

I'm marking out our sail in

One-foot increments.

What we're going to is use the

High-speed camera to film buster

As he rides the knife down.

Counting the number of frames --

That'll will give us velocity.

What we know is 25 feet per

Second is the threshold
of minor injury.

If you're a pirate landing on a

Deck, you'll probably be able to

Get up and walk away
and fight other pirates.



The threshold of major injury,

Which means possibly
it will be fatal.

Narrator: so because the myth

Is about our hero being able to

Walk away, we're looking for a

Speed below 25 feet per second.

Buster's first ride will be with

A sharpened blade.

Full-scale buster test two --

Reef bands sharp
knife in three, two, one.

Whoa!

Oh!

I don't think that
worked very well.

What do you think?

I don't think I want
to use a sharp knife.

Dang!

He hit hard.

It sliced right through them.

It didn't even pause
at the reef bands.

Narrator: too sharp, too

Fast -- too bad for buster.

And the numbers from
the high-speed confirm it.

At over 25 feet per second,

Buster would definitely
have been busted up.

So I think we probably ought

To think about maybe dulling the

Knife a little bit.

Yeah.

Narrator: yep, the solution

Is to blunt the blade
and try to slow the fall.

Call it, kari.

Full weight of buster on the

Main gauche blade, which is

Dull, with the reef
bands on the sail.

Here we go in
three, two, one.

Oh!

[ Talking incoherently ]

Too dull.

Narrator: what kari'strying

To say is buster's dull knife

Hit a snag and he fell from

Grace with a resounding thud.

The solution is a knife that's

Sharp enough to cut the reef

Bands, yet dull enough to slow

Our fall guy's
fall to a safe speed.

But who's going
to wield the knife?

It's obvious that
buster's a bit of a stiff.

And our mythical swashbuckler

Knows how to absorb a fall,

Something buster never
picked up at stunt school.

So for the best chance of

Success, we need to inject some

Humanity into this myth.

Let's find a safe way to do

This, and then one of us -- and

By us, I mean you -- can
go up and try this out.

Twist my arm.

All right.

Narrator: tory gets the blade

Ready for the final
human-on-sail test -- not too

Sharp, not too dull.

Either way, I'm screwed.

Narrator: pirate-speak
lesson number four.

A good pirate should start all

Sentences with the words "thar

Be" as in "thar be adam and

Jamie," or "thar be adam and

Jamie with a very large cannon,"

Or even better, "thar be adam

And jamie with a very large

Cannon pointing straight at four

Pigs dressed as pirates."

[ Chuckles ]

Pirate ships were often

Packed at double, triple, or

Quadruple the actual
capacity of that ship.

So, it is conceivable that the

Deck of a pirate ship could be a

Very crowded place
during a battle.

Narrator: the myth states

More pirates died from

Splintering wood than from a

Direct hit by a cannonball.

Workshop tests with a

Mini-cannon seem
to confirm the theory.

But in full-scale tests, the

Mythbusters first want to see

Just how many people
a cannonball could k*ll.

They figured it was more humane

To use pigs bound for the

Supermarket than real pirates.

Next, we're going to fire the

Air cannon at the pigs -- at the

Pirates, I'm sorry.

My guess is that we're going to

Make it all the way through

Them, because we're going to

Bump up the pressure a little

Bit off of the nitrogen tank.

And pigs versus sandbags,
I'd say the pigs lose.

This is how much damage can a

Cannonball do to some pirates?

Firing in three, two, one.

[ Laughs ]

That is so wrong!

Narrator: wrong -- maybe.

But did any of our pirate
substitutes survive the

Broadside?

He's dead.

Yeah, I'd say so.

All right.

Here's a second pig...

I can see it over
here -- he's dead.

The third pig, well, he's dead.

Fourth pig totally dead.

Let's set up for the next test.

That's stunning --
that's four for four.

Went through them like butter.

Or lard.

[ Laughs ]

We k*lled four little pirates,

And didn't even knock their hats

Off practically --
well, maybe one of them.

That means we're getting this

Cannonball going
really pretty quickly.

Narrator: so the benchmark

For death by a single
cannonball is at least four.

It's crunch time for the
cannonball splinter myth.

Next we're going to fire

Through our mocked-up pirate

Ship and see whether it's more

Lethal to get hit by the

Splinters than a cannonball.

Narrator: pirate ships being

In short supply, adam has built

His own slightly
modified version.

It doesn't look like it, but

I have a fascia that
looks like a pirate ship.

And then I have here 3
solid inches of white oak.

That is accurate to the outside

Cladding on a period ship that a

Pirate might have commandeered.

Then there's a 6x6
inch stanchion.

These are the ribs that run all

The way down the boat,
describing its hull shape.

And on the inside,
it's clad with pine.

These two pieces are what this

Cannonball's going through that

Will generate the splinters and

They are accurate to the type of

Materials that a period
cannonball would have

Encountered in a
ship during battle.

For this myth to be true,

We're looking for a huge volume

Of splinters to come out of the

Backside and spray the whole

Area which could
k*ll a lot of people.

And it's actually more plausible

Than a bunch of people lining up

In a row right behind a
cannonball when it hits.

Air cannon into
the pirate ship in...

Three, two, one.

I hope it made it.

Well, it didn't
come bouncing out.

Let's go check it out.

All right.

Narrator: the air cannon once

Again hits her mark.

But what's the damage report?

Whoa!

It did -- it made it through!

Yeah, excellent!

Oh, my god!

I see a horror show, and I

Definitely see splinters here.

I don't see any
penetration of the pigs at all.

I don't see any of them

Sticking out of the pigs.

Narrator: plenty of
splinters, but unlike the

Small-scale test, there's no

Suggestion that the
shrapnel was lethal.

Yeah, I don't
know what else to say.

I mean, it drilled a neat
hole right through it.

If I were standing right

Here, I'd count my lucky stars

That the cannonball missed me,

But I'd be pulling splinters
out of my...thoughts.

I mean, that would suck.

And sure enough, back then, you

Know, a big splinter going

Through your leg could be a

Lethal injury when you're

Talking about infection and the

Microorganisms living
off the wood of the boat.

But this is like two people who

Are slightly injured or

Seriously injured, not 10 that

A cannonball can travel
all the way through.

I think the scenario we were

Looking for was where this is

Such an expl*si*n that it

Accelerates these particles of

Wood so fast that everybody in

The area just gets
sprayed and dies.

Kind of like a shotgun or more

Like a grenade blast.

And I'm not seeing that
happen with this stuff.

I think the high-speed footage

Tells the whole story, because

It's showing a massive quantity

Of splinters going out of the

Back side of this boat hull.

The problem is that none of it's

Hitting the pigs with enough

Strength, enough mass, enough

Velocity or whatever to actually

Stick into the pigs.

Narrator: with no pigs stuck

With deadly splinters, this myth

Is on shaky ground.

But adam and jamie are reluctant

To call it busted.

Remember, the air cannon
isn't quite up to speed.

With a muzzle velocity of around



Match up to the real thing.

Got to figure out a way of

Getting things
to go really fast.

Narrator: unable to accept

Defeat, the pressure is back on

To find a genuine cannon and put

This myth to rest.

Narrator: when using a knife

To slide down sails, it's not

The fall that'll k*ll you.

It's the sudden stop.

And buster sucks at landing.

This myth needs a dummy that can

Act like a person.

I mean, I wouldn't
want to do it.

Not it.

Narrator: seeing as tory's

The class clown, we're taking

This myth to the circus -- you

Know, high trapeze,
nets, all that safety stuff.

And if you cast your minds back,

Kari, grant, and tory have been

To trapeze arts before.

That time, they wanted to see if

A swing can spin
a full 360 degrees.

Almost there!

You're almost there!

Narrator: uh, kari,
tory's about to attempt a

Life-threatening stunt.

Kari, you're just not taking

This seriously, are you?

Before this myth turns into a

Circus -- thank you, kari,

That's quite enough -- tory gets

The lowdown on his

Knife-wielding fall from trapeze

Trainer eric braun.

The net is good to handle

Someone my size hitting the net

From above the frame.

No matter what,
we're going to be safe.

No matter what,
you're won't hit the ground.

[ Laughs ]

No, no, I said, "no matter

What, we're going to be safe."

The biggest risk of injury is

One part of your body hitting

Another part of your body.

The most common instance is your

Knee hitting her nose.

Ooh!

It's happened before.

My sister broke her nose

In 14 places with her knee

With her knees hitting
her face on the trampoline.

I'll try to
avoid that if I can.

Narrator: when buster tried

This trick, it looked more

Damaging than a knee to a nose.

And with the sail set to the

Same buster-busting height, tory

Is banking on his partially

Sharpened knife to slow his fall

And cut through the reef band.

What I'm about to do is climb

Up to the top of the sail, and

We're going to do a free-fall

Test without the knife just to

Get a control on my speed.

I'm a little nervous because I'm

Not really sure how
I'm going to land.

I just don't want to
smash my face into my knees.

If I can avoid
that, I'll be cool.

[ Laughter ]

Narrator: this first drop

Will be a knifeless test run.

Then we'll stick the knife in

And slide this myth home.

Full-scale tory test.

This one's the
control free fall.

Three, two, one.

That was great!

Are you okay?

Yeah.

How much of that was free

Fall and how much of
that was you stopping him?

Well, it felt like a
lot of it was free fall.

Totally good form.

You were right next to
the sail the whole time.

You had your pretend knife in

It, and it couldn't
have been any better.

Narrator: at falling
down, tory's done good.

But would he have survived the

Fall to fight another day?

Actually, it's not bad.

He is just falling straight

Down, not freaking
out or anything.

That's really good form.

Pirates don't freak out.

Well,youmight.

Pirates don't.

Okay, here's the good news.

The good news is that your

Velocity at the very
end is 25 feet per second.

It's a little bit slower
than physics predicts.

But I think it's still --

Really close to a free fall.

What that means, if the net

Weren't there, you would be

Breaking both legs
and in very bad shape.

Well, good thing for the net.

Narrator: so free
fall equals broken legs.

The question is, will thrusting

A knife into the sail slow down

Pirate tory enough
to prove this myth?

My biggest concern now is

Holding on to the knife.

Could a pirate hold on to the

Knife, cutting through the sail,

Hitting those reef
bands, and not letting go?

That's what I need to
concentrate on right now.

Hey, tory.

You want to put the safety on?

Oh.

Sure.

Okay.

Here we go, tory.

Narrator: safely secured,

Tory takes to the rigging.

His knife of choice, the not too

Dull, not too sharp main gauche.

Full-scale pirate-sail test.

Tory, free fall
with the knife sharp.

Okay.

Call it when you're ready.

Here we go in
three, two, one.

Oh!

Whoa!

Are you okay?

Yeah.

Whoa!

That was crazy.

As soon as I hit that reef band,

The knife just popped right out.

Narrator: so the reef
bands threw him off.

But if the knife was any

Sharper, he'd have fallen too

Fast to walk away uninjured.

But tory ain't giving up yet.

What I'd like to do is try it

One more time, just move over a

Little bit on the sail.

Now that I know what it feels

Like and just see if I
can keep that angle.

Because the first few feet of

Fall, it felt like I was being

Slowed down by the knife.

Narrator: so tenacious tory

Gets one final attempt.

Here we go in
three, two, one.

Dang it!

Narrator: but the result
was exactly the same.

It seems that a knife dull

Enough to get you down at a safe

Speed won't slice
through the reef bands.

You hung on to the knife, but

It was just that force
that popped you out?

So it wasn't like it popped

The knife out of my hand.

It just pushed the knife up and

Then I fell out of the sail.

Well, that's a huge
difference between you and

Buster is the fact that he had

The death grip and everything

Was tightened and there was no

Way his wrist was
going to go back.

That is a normal human reaction.

Narrator: so, tory,
ready to call this one?

Cutting a knife through the

Sail, it's way too hard.

As soon as I hit that reef band,

The angle of my knife changed

And my knife popped out, I fell.

We had a full, live person

Doing this with a sharp knife in

A life-size sail
with reef bands.

You couldn't really get
more realistic than that.

I'm a little disappointed.

I know.

I just don't think the human

Wrist is strong enough
to hold that angle.

Plus, in an historically

Accurate sail, you'd have to get

Through not one buttworeef

Bands, and each of those has a

Variation of sail material of

One to three layers to two

Layers back to three
and then to one.

Not only that -- in a

Real-life situation, you're

Going to have to have your

Knife sharp enough to just make

It through the reef bands but

Just dull enough to decelerate.

When is that really
going to happen?

Only in the movies.

I think this one's busted.

I think this
one's triple busted.

Busted.

Fire!

Narrator: it's a maritime

Myth of expl*sive proportions.

Supposedly, when the broadsides

Strike, more shipmates die from

The flying splinters than the

Cannonballs themselves.

Tests with a giant air
cannon suggest it's a bust.

But without an accurate muzzle

Velocity, our dynamic duo are

Reluctant to call it.

I don't know, man.

I'm looking at this shrapnel.

I'm really pleased with our rig.

I think we can call
this one busted.

I don't know.

A real cannon will fire a

Cannonball at twice the velocity

Of what we got our air cannon to

Do, and that translates to maybe

About 10 times the actual power.

Right, but it did go through

All the wood we had set up, plus

Our pigs -- it did everything
we wanted it to do.

Well, I have actually got

Access to a real cannon that

Fires a real cannonball.

You want to go for it?

Oh, yeah!

Let's do it!

[ Pirate voice ] let's take all

This back to the
site and try it again!

Narrator: actually, adam,

We're playing with
real g*ns this time.

And there's only one place they

Let us do that -- the
alameda county sheriff's

Facility b*mb range.

And joining us to save the day

Is not so dirty
harry and his big g*n.

This is old moses.

Is that the
trailer or the g*n?

The g*n.

He speaks with a great voice and

Lays down the law.

Oh, my lord!

Wow!

[ Laughs ]

Narrator: it's a fully

Functional 1841 mexican
and civil w*r replica.

Not exactly pirate material, but

A cannon's a cannon, right?

This is one of those cases

Where I'm sure the results are

Going to be controversial, but

No one can accuse of
us not being thorough.

And if there are any pirates out

There who dispute this,
I'd love to talk to them.

The cannon we're about to use

Is a piece of what is
known as field a*tillery.

Now, this is the kind of thing

That would go out on the open

b*ttlefield in the civil w*r and

That kind of thing.

We're talking about
pirate cannons.

But it's the same.

The ball size is the same.

It's the same as what we
used in the air cannon.

It's a proper size that you

Would actually
find on a pirate ship.

So the effect on
impact is the same.

Narrator: this first shot --

Into the water barrels for

Safety -- will give the
team the muzzle velocity.

And if old moses hits 1300 feet

Per second, we know we're

Dealing with the real thing.

All right.

Let's see if this is big enough

To hold a pound and a quarter.

Narrator: harry will use a

Pound and a quarter of black

Powder to launch a 6-pound shot.

Okay.

Not too hard.

[ Laughs ]

Okay.

Action front.

Time to load!

Charge.

Narrator: in the heat of

Battle, a crack cannon team

Matched speed and
efficiency with precision.

The correctly sized
cannonballs help, too.

What's going on?

It's too big.

No.

These are fresh-ordered shot

Just for this g*n, and
they're cast too large.

Well, we have one of our

Little unexpected problems,

Something we could have never

Foreseen or put on a list and

It's that our cannonballs are

Too big for the
barrel of our cannon.

[ Pirate voice ] what I'm using

Right now is an ancient pirate

Tool, the angle grinder.

Narrator: the ball is ground

Down by an eighth of an inch.

Well, that's
not a pirate thing.

That's a tumbleweed.

On you go.

[ Laughs ]

Narrator: wild west

Distractions dealt with, the

Team load up, and old
moses is ready for action.

Clear front.

Firing in three, two, one!

[ Laughs ]

Whoo-hoo!

Narrator: old moses
certainly didn't hold back.

A successful firing, but
where's the cannonball?

It's not there?

Unh-unh.

Did it skip?

If it skipped, it
went over the hill.

Narrator: that's one

Cannonball missing in action.

And there's
something else missing.

We were completely unable to

Determine the muzzle velocity on

That test because, for some

Reason, at the moment of

Detonation, our high-speed

Camera's power supply failed.

So we got a new power supply,

And we're going to
do the same shot again.

Wehaveto know what
the muzzle velocity is.

We want to be able to compare it

To the previous test.

Narrator: a little ricochet

Reinforcement and it's
time for shot number two.

Prime.

Clear front.

Firing in three, two, one!

[ Laughs ]

We got that cannonball.

We stopped the cannonball.

Nice shot!

Narrator: no
bouncing ba*ls this time.

The hill took the full force.

It's deeper than that.

[ Laughs ]

So what we've got there is a

Muzzle velocity of 1430 feet per

Second guaranteed, because I can

See when the cannonball exits

The barrel and I can see when it

Hits the garbage can, and I know

The garbage can is exactly 10

Feet from the barrel.

That muzzle velocity makes this

Blast seven and a half times

More powerful than the one we

Produced with our air cannon.

The only question that remains

For us is, does that increase in

Power translate to an increase

In deadliness for
our wooden shrapnel?

Narrator: mini air cannons

And maxi air cannons have drawn

A blank on scattered splinters,

But old moses has the muster to

Truly lay down the
law for this myth.

Adam's authentic pirate ship

Prototype is lowered in place.

Cue the pigs.

This is our pirate crew, and

For this myth to be true, they

Have to have a bunch of

Splinters stuck in
them really quite deep.

[ Pirate voice ] get
your pirate face on.

We're about to
sh**t some cannons!

I'm drooling!

Narrator: drooling?

You ain't seen nothing yet.

Firing in three, two, one!

Looks from here like it put a

Clean hole in the oak.

It definitely put a
clean hole in the oak.

A nice small one.

Narrator: getting through the

Wood is not the issue.

It's the deadly
splinters we want.

What do we see?

I see even less kind of

Splinterage than I saw before.

The splinters are
clearly all over the place.

But I don't see hardly a single

One stuck in the pigs.

Oh, there's one.

Wait a second.

Uh-oh.

Well, that went in
about half an inch.

And that's the most serious

Thing that we've seen all told.

But it's still not lethal.

The increased muzzle velocity

Definitely had a lot
more power behind it.

It pushed this whole thing over.

Caused a lot more trauma to our

Pirate boat than it did on the

Test with our air cannon.

Old moses here had

Considerably more kick than our

Air cannon, and it threw a lot

Of splinters all over the place.

But the result is the same.

From what I'm seeing, they just

Don't have a whole lot of mass.

They just kind of like flip off

Things -- they bounce.

They don't really penetrate.

Based on this, the only thing

That we can say about this myth

Is that it's busted.

The shrapnel is not as
lethal as the cannonball.

[ Pirate voice ] well, let's

Give our pirates a good final

Resting place and
call this one busted.

Can you stop doing that?

Now I can,
because we're done.

Maybe we need to
try a bigger cannon.

What do you think?

[ Laughs ]

Well, that's it.

I think I'm retiring
the pirate voice.

I can't come up with
any more pirate ideas.

Well, maybeyoucan't, but

But I bet the fans have some.

Indeed.

And that's why we're going to

Devote and entire episode
just to fan suggestions.

So log on to
discovery.com/mythbusters and

Give us your ideas.