03x04 - Initiative.

[bunniefuu]

INTERVIEWER: What do you aspire to
in your future?

YOUNG LIAM: Just to be happy,
you know?

What's your greatest passion
outside of school?

The pub.

PHONE VIBRATES

Hi, Mum.

ON PHONE: Hello, love.

Oh, getting very excited
for the weekend?

Oh, the... the dinner to celebrate
my promotion. Yeah, right.

Er, I'm not sure...
But... but also,

I bumped into your old teacher,
Mrs Peacock, in the supermarket

and told her all about
your promotion

and she actually said
they're doing an event this week

with successful former students

coming back to talk to
the current sixth formers. Uh-huh.

And I know you'll hate me for this,
but I've signed you up to speak.

Oh.

Excellent.
I've never been more proud

than to think you'll be going back
to that school

as a role model to a new generation.

OK. All right. Well,
I'd better get to work then, Mum,

but I'll speak to you later, yeah?

All right. Bye, love.

HE SIGHS

HE CLEARS THROAT

Hi, Toby. It's Liam, mate.

Yeah, yeah.

Got some good news.

I've decided to retract
my resignation

and come back to work, so...

Hello?

b*stard!

f*ck!

HE GRUNTS ANGRILY

♪ It's just one of those days

♪ Typical me. ♪

Why do you want to study English?

Well, I didn't do that well
in my history coursework

and French I struggle too much
remembering all genders and that.

And I dropped media
at AS level so...

..had to be English.

OK.

Well, I think that concludes

your Cambridge University
entrance interview.

You seemed a little distracted.

It's just because I'm hungover,
I think.

One week before my actual admissions
interview for Cambridge University

the sixth form had arranged
for me to meet a coach,

brought in, I guess,
to help boost my confidence.

That was pathetic.

You're going to embarrass yourself
and the school.

This is a school with a proud
reputation and high standards.

You might be
a strong academic candidate

but that's not enough.

What Cambridge University
are looking for are pioneers,

future role models.

People who can change the world
around us

for the greater good of humanity.

In the time you have left,
you must try to show that potential.

To make a contribution
in the school setting, perhaps,

or in the wider community
or for the larger human good.

Couldn't I just... lie?

Couldn't I just say
I was a head boy or summat?

This school doesn't have
a head boy system.

They won't know.

Oh, they will.

They always have
a tremendous perception

for whether or not
someone is a head boy.

The crucial thing now

is that you finally
start showing some initiative.

Right.

How do you show initiative?

Initiative can only come from you.

Write that down.

One of those days, eh?

- We've all had 'em.
- HE CHUCKLES

I know I have.

Look, er...

..I'm sorry to disturb you, mate,
but I'm fine,

so you just get back
to whatever you're doing

cos I need to get to work so...

I heard your phone call, mate.

Can I just ask
why you're dressed so smart

if you just quit your job?

I forgot.

HE SCOFFS

You forgot?

Forgot that I quit my job.

Woke up this morning,
put this suit on,

walked to the Tube,
remembered I quit,

turned around
and... now here I am, so...

Ah.

You know, you remind me of someone.

A young man who didn't know
what he was looking for either.

Who tried to conform,

until he found one day
he just couldn't stand it any more.

And that young man was m...

Bye, mate.

My dream of going
to Cambridge University

was about to cruelly slip away

just because I hadn't gone
to public school

and was also quite lazy
and a chronic time-waster.

What's wrong?

I need to show initiative, be
resourceful and to think for myself.

Can I have a look at your personal
statement for inspiration?

Of course. I'm very happy with it.

"My desire to study maths and/or
economics or business and economics

"or business and maths

"or economics and personal finance

"has always been singular
and unwavering.

"Thus therefore I have
ergo thereby demonstrated

"the aforementioned...
Blah, blah, blah.

"Dedication is evidenced by my
achievements in career mode on FIFA.

"In conclusion, sung to the tune of
Push The Button by the Sugababes...

BOTH: "To conclude, my name is Addy"

"Works so hard, conscientious boy"

"Do you want me at your uni?"

"If so..."

Reply and let me know...
♪ Reply and let me know

♪ Push the button. ♪

Addy!

Why did you include that at the end?

Because I believe in the importance
of showing a fun side.

Addy, I think you're in
the same boat as me, mate.

We have wasted our entire time
here at sixth form.

No, we haven't. Yeah, we have.
No, we haven't.

Addy, I don't have time for this.

Just sitting around arguing about
nonsense in't gonna get me anywhere.

Welcome to debate club.

Sorry I'm so late.

Oh, well, at least you're here now.
We're about to begin.

I suppose the place
will have changed a bit

since you were last here.

Well, the school wasn't named after

a broadband infrastructure company
when I was here.

Oh, yeah.

It's funny to think we used to just
be called Elmet Community College.

Seems so quaint now.

Will you be seeing any of
your old friends while you're up?

Adnan and them?

Oh, no. I...
Just a flying visit, I think.

Oh. Yeah.
I imagine you're busy in London.

Probably got far too much going on
in your life

to go round thinking about
this place all the time.

Here we are.

Um, actually, Miss... Mrs Peacock,
I think...

It'll have to wait till afterwards,

I have to introduce
the other speakers right now.

Sean and Philippa,
both very successful.

Little bit younger than you,
I think.

Philippa runs
her own online yoga studio,

turning over 400K a year.

And, er, Sean is a retired
quantity surveyor.

Retired?

Yeah. He made millions on these
cryptic currencies they have now.

And now he spends his time
inspiring young people

to distrust the monetary system.

Right.

So both hard acts to follow.

But, er, I'm sure you'll manage
to inspire the kids anyway.

Right, let's get started.

So it was with the debate club
that I would show

the long-overdue initiative
needed for Cambridge.

Unfortunately, the only fellow
debater we manage to attract

was Kara from year eight.

Our first topic
for debate will be t*rture.

The motion.

This house believes that t*rture
can be ethical.

To speak in favour, Kara.

While it is conventionally agreed

that t*rture is
an undesirable practice,

it does not necessarily follow

that t*rture is wrong
in all circumstances...

In conclusion,
according to ethical pragmatism,

while perhaps offensive
to our moral absolutist tendencies,

t*rture can not only be
ethically permissible

but indeed ethically imperative.

Thank you.

Well, my mind is made up.

But for formality's sake,
now to speak in opposition, Liam.

Abraham Lincoln said, "If sl*very
is not wrong, nothing is wrong."

Well, then, if waterboarding
is not t*rture,

there is no such thing as t*rture.

Point of information.

That's plagiarised
from Christopher Hitchens.

Your mum's plagiarised
from Christopher Hitchens.

- BANGS GAVEL - Ad Hominem.

Three points to Kara.
Minus three from Liam.

Addy, what you doing, you knobhead?

Um, you must treat the moderator
with respect.

It don't work like that,

you can't just give
and deduct points willy nilly.

Minus five points for rudeness

and minus another two
for saying, "Willy nilly."

Oh, f*ck this.

Right, you're disqualified.

I couldn't care less.

Fail again, fail better.

Samuel Beckett.

Despite the setback of debate club,
I couldn't give up,

and so next I took
the initiative to persuade Ralph

to take me with him as he went
door-to-door selling solar panels,

and thus make a contribution
to the environmental cause.

Here, carry this,
make yourself useful.

HE KNOCKS ON DOOR

Good afternoon.
I'm Ralph Roberts of EcoLeeds.

Who's he?

Er, this is my assistant.

So what you selling?

Um, these are the best solar panels
in the world.

Er, Bono has these on his house.

Bit busy at the moment.
Can you come back another day, yeah?

Yeah. Yeah?
Yeah, yeah. Of course I will, love.

That a lie about Bono?

Look, whatever customer
seems to care about, yeah,

you've just got to go hard
with that. That's initiative, mate.

The problem is,

some people just don't care about
environment at all.

ENGINE STARTS

CAR STOPS

Hey, what you doing?

Come on, get out. Next house.

Can they generate a lot of power,
then, these things?

Oh, yeah. Er, on... on an average day
it does about 200 watts an hour.



On really bright days...

..in't Middle East.

All right.
Do you lads wanna come in?

Yeah.

I've been interested
in these panels for a while.

Well, any questions you have,
we're here to answer.

So do they need to be
on a south-facing roof?

No. No. North, south, east, west,

south-west, south-sou'west,

whichever way you like,
these babies have got you covered.

I might have to check
about the south-facing thing.

OK. And do you lot do installations?

Yep. No.

Right. And how exactly
are they attached to roof?

Um... Special glue.

Er, no. It's... it's bolts
and brackets, actually.

Quite complicated.

What's durability of 'em like?

Oh, well, they're... they're the
strongest ones on market, these.

Hold it up.

LIAM CLEARS THROAT

Mm, looks a bit flimsy to me.
Poorly made.

No, they're solid as owt.

TAPS LIGHTLY

Look, I can tell you're unconvinced,
but watch this.

Get out!

What are you playing at,
you dickhead?

I were just showing initiative.

Well, now you can take
the initiative to f*ck off.

SEAN: Thank you.

STUDENTS WHOOP AND APPLAUD

Thank you, Sean.

Incredibly inspiring.

And Sean has very kindly promised
to give you all

a free non-fungible token
of a giraffe playing a saxophone.

STUDENTS CLAMOUR

Oh, my God! Whoo.

I'm a senior advertising creative
and my life's great.

So my next attempt
to show meaningful initiative

and help society
had led me right out of my depth.

Perhaps I'd be better off

trying to help
a more familiar, local cause.

If only I had the opportunity.

MOBILE PHONE RINGS

All right, Craggy?

ON PHONE: Yeah, what you doing?

Nowt, why?

Come down to library now.

LINE BEEPS

What's going on?
Why aren't you at work?

Got a job for ya. Our Marcus, he's
helping library out with a refurb,

so I said I'd help him.
I didn't know Marcus

were into that sort of thing,
helping libraries and that.

Ah, you haven't never met
our Marcus, have ya?

- HE CHUCKLES - Let me tell you,

Get ready cos he is f*cking funny.

Honestly, mate,
you're not going to stop laughing.

Here he is now. Look.

Now, then.

CRAGGY LAUGHS

I f*cking told you he were
a mad b*stard, din't I?

Marcus, this is Liam,
he's going to help us.

Right. So what do we need to do?

So I'm going to bring
the van round, right,

you two are going to go
through doors round back.

Down the corridor,
there's a room full of computers

and basically
they all need removing.

They're off to another library.

Who told you to do it?

Librarian, mate. He knows me uncle.

What, Craggy's dad?

No, me uncle on other side.
Uncle Alan.

Oh, proper nice bloke.

You've never met him, Tom.

HE LAUGHS AWKWARDLY

Could we speak to librarian
before we...?

I think they'll be a bit busy, mate.

You know, telling people to shush
in the library and that.

I'll just...
I'll go and have a word.

No, no, no, no, mate.
Don't worry about it.

I'll go get the librarian, yeah?

Just give us ten minutes, yeah?

You go round back and make sure
them fire doors stay open.

'Course, Marcus. Will do, mate.

Not a problem at all, that, mate.

Marcus - he's like Jim Carey,
in't he?

Marcus took considerably longer
than ten minutes to return.

Craggy attempted
to keep me entertained

with stories of
Marcus's past exploits.

So then Marcus said,

"Actually, mate, I will have
an extra large coke after all."

Yeah, you told me that one already.

I know,
it's a good one, though, innit?

Now, then. Here's librarian.

All right, lads?

Can you get all the computers out,
please? 'Course, mate.

Wait, Craggy. Sorry, mate,

I... I haven't seen you
in the library before.

But when did you last go
to the library?

Well, not for a couple of years.

Ah! Well, there you go, then.

I come here a year ago
from Seacroft Library.

Yeah, I know,

probably don't seem like
a typical librarian, do I, mate?

Being a common bloke
from Seacroft and that.

No, no, I weren't saying that.

Right, I'll go get van, then.

Tom, you start moving them
computers.

'Course, Marcus.

It's all right, mate.

I get it all the time
when I tell people I'm a librarian.

People laugh.

But I don't judge 'em for it.

I'm working class.

Didn't get that much
of an education.

People think they know me
whole story just from looking at me.

But thing is, mate,
I managed to change my story.

Life give me a second chance
working here,

and that's cos of books.

That's what I love about books,
you see.

Whichever way you think
a story's going to go...

..it has a way of surprising you.

I'm sorry.
I really didn't mean to...

I mean, I'm actually looking
to do some volunteering

in the community so, you know,

if you need someone
to help out more

with... with books and stuff,
I'd... I'd love to help.

Oh, good lad.

Hey, I tell you what, mate,
let's get these computers shifted,

we'll talk about getting you in
for some volunteering, yeah?

Yeah, nice one, mate.
Yeah, thank you.

Come on, you lazy get.

Right, that's the last one.

Cheers, lads.

DOOR CLOSES

Cheers, lads. Huge help, that.

So about that volunteering...

Ah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Tell you what, mate...

..f*ck books, mate.

HE CACKLES

Wankers!

I know, yeah. They didn't even
say a proper goodbye.

No, what I mean,
they nicked all f*cking computers.

Why would a librarian
nick all his own computers?

He weren't a librarian though,
were he?

He was just some random bloke
Marcus dragged out of pub.

Oh, I thought I recognised him!

I think I seen him pissing in't bin
a few week ago

cos all the urinals were taken.
Look, I'd hate for you

to get wrong first impression
of our Marcus

just cos he's nicked
a few computers from a library.

Oi! Thieves! sh*t, run! Run!

Why do I always have
to run away from stuff?

So I failed to show any initiative
or gain any experience

which would set me apart
from the other applicants.

All that remained
was to flunk my interview

and finally put
this whole Cambridge saga to bed.

To be honest, on some level,
it would be a relief.

Thank you, Philippa.

I just want to echo
what Philippa said just there.

Whether you're turning over 400k per
annum or just 40, you still matter.

And now our final speaker
is a senior creative

at a London marketing agency

and he left
Dotco Systems Limited Academy -

or Elmet Community College as it
used to be called...

GENTLE LAUGHTER

..in 2006.

Caveman times to you lot, probably.
Welcome, Liam.

So we've talked about

the academic side
of your time at sixth form.

Could you now tell me
about your life

and interests beyond the syllabus?

Well, I, um...

..have a lot of
fulfilling interests...

..in my life.

Such as what?

Well, recently, for example,

I started a debate club
at my school,

which allowed an edifying exchange
of perspectives between students.

KNOCKING

Go f*ck yourself, kid!

That's always a valuable thing.

Um, thank you. So, as Miss said,
er, Mrs Peacock said...

..I'm a senior creative

and, just to put that in context,
I'm actually the third youngest

of six senior creatives
in my office.

So the job, er, involves,

well, coming up with creative ideas
for the clients

and briefing artists, directors,
and for that I get paid, um...

Sorry.

Er, I think I need to come clean.

Do you believe that individuals
can change society?

I don't like to lie any more.

Well, I actually have been
a committed campaigner

for renewable energy
in my home town.

That kind of work
is just lying and conning people.

Prince Charles uses these panels
to power his electric bidet.

And do you meet a lot of resistance
to your campaigning?

Absolutely, but you-you really
just have to...

..smash through that...

..you know?

In fact, a lot of
the most prestigious jobs

basically just involve
lying and conning people.

And, in many ways,

the expectations
that we give young people

about adult life
are just lies and cons.

I've also been volunteering
at my local library.

And what has that experience
taught you?

That the most important thing
in life is community.

You know, you've got to put
community before yourself.

Too many people see life as this...

..this desperate race
of only looking out for themselves.

Thieves!
Ah, me groin's gone again.

You're asked from a young age
to show conformity

and reverence towards your school,
your elders,

towards the market,
towards the nation,

on the basis
that one day you'll be rewarded.

You know, work hard,
play by the rules

and eventually
you'll have financial security

and personal fulfilment,
or even just a place to live

that isn't going to eat up
half your salary

and has more than
two small cupboards in it.

And that's bollocks.

And I know I'm very privileged,

but I think the fact that I am
someone who's got all this privilege

and can still get to 34

and not have financial security
or any sense of fulfilment,

or more than two cupboards,
means that the whole idea

of what life is supposed to be
is a lie.

So I quit my job as
a senior creative after one day...

..and now I have to leave my flat
cos my tenancy's up

and I haven't bothered
to sort anything else out,

and I just don't know
what I'm going to do.

And I don't mean in some

"possibilities are endless"
kind of way, I just mean...

..I just have no f*cking idea.

And that-that is what
I was thinking a few months ago,

when I quit my job.

But now I'm incredibly proud
to say that I've picked myself up

and set up my own business...

..selling organic CBD gummies,

and I'm turning over 500k a year...

..and I own my own house
with ten cupboards.

So I guess my message is this -

however hopeless you get,
just believe in yourself

and believe in the market

and things will get better,
and that's a promise.

Thank you.

Well, you've clearly put your time
at sixth form to excellent use.

I have to ask, are you head boy?

Yes... Yes, I am.

I can always tell.

♪ If you're ready for me, boy

♪ You'd better push the button
and let me know

♪ Before I get the wrong idea and go

♪ You're gonna miss
the freak that I control

♪ I'm busy showing him
what he's been missing

♪ I'm kind of showing off
for his full attention

♪ My sexy a*s
has got him in the new dimension

♪ I'm ready to do something
to relieve this mission... ♪