Charley (1986)

[bunniefuu]

Charley...

You forgot the shoes.

You thought of the checks?

He was so pissed,
he kept calling for his mother.

Did you watch Sonya's show last night?

I thought her dress was
a rubbish bag at first.

It was fascinating, as usual.

Her programmes are about people.

Your father wouldn't order a DAF.

You know what they found
in Reagan's belly?

Rock Hudson's watch!

Little robin redbreast
tapped on the window

let me in, let me in

That's strange.

Just like kidneys...

No use, a blonde.

It was fun...
Much too scared.

That's why I bit it off.

You know what he said?
Breast tapped on the window

let me in
let me in

Darling, I know nothing about cars.

No, you only get it
when you buy my cars.

Daddy...

I'm so lucky you're not my father.

Next time...

Okay?

English car...

Okay...

Your father says hello.

Bye...

I'll call your zombie
and you're coming too.

We'll go every day, now you know.

We'll have a nice day.
And leave that damn doll at home.

It takes so long!

Good morning, ladies...

Sleep well?

Grumpy b*tches.
Open your own door. I won't.

I say, can you give me...
You can nod or shake your head.

Is your sister or whatever
on the game too?

I don't know.

You can tell me... She looks like one.

Give me the bread roll!

My taxi is waiting.
- Stand in line.

Everyone has to wait their turn.
- And I have a handicapped sister.

Last time she had polio.
- I'm in a hurry.

How can I pay the taxi?
- Madam...

You know what this is?

Seen this? It's a meter that's running.

Will you pay? You can look angry
but I'm not impressed.

All that fuss, people lazing
in the benefits office.

They're living off my money!

Living it up and all!

It's too much. I'm stuck here.
Damn it...

You're wife's a wh*re.
- You can talk!

Crazy... go to the back, madam.

Please help us, sir.

Help the poor girl.

You have to sign...

Have you tried to get a job?

Can I see the evidence?
- I applied twice.

Lying on your back!

Oh well, we'll just wait.
That keeps running.

No one else knows,
this isn't as real taxi.

It just keeps clocking up...

I can manage...

I'll get all that money back you waste.

And will you get your hands
off my upholstery!

You didn't learn that at home.

Great, your ears work anyway.

I demonstrated for peace too!

Listen, are you a foreigner or what?

Lost your tongue?

Just say so, I can manage
in any language.

So, now I've had enough!

All that pumping in the back
of my car. Get out! Out, man!

You owe me%0 guilders.

It says 3.60.
- Don't get clever, fascist!

What does he owe you, f*ck?

Blow, jerk...



Here you are.
- Hand over. Here you are.

Now put away your baby d*ck. And out.

Thanks a lot.

Out. Your trip's over.

Relieved... rubbish... get lost.

The footsteps of freedom are
the pitfalls of the guillotine!

Is this always the way with you?

I'm talking to you. Is that how it is?

All that f*cking with wankers?

All that messing in the backseat.

Women are useless.

This lot certainly.

All right, love? Looking good?

Don't get the next one in my car.

Darling?

Aren't you smoking too much?

You can come.

Dolly, is your sister coming?
- She's my girlfriend.

You mean you're a lesbo?

Very funny...

I suppose it's funny.

If you say anything,
it can come out wrong.

Let's change the subject,
because something's bothering me.

You don't need benefits.

You need something.

We all do.

But I pay my taxes for a wh*re!

It's good for you.

If that's what you want, it's okay.

What time do you want
to wake up tomorrow?

Won't she join in?

Don't bother my staff.

I thought she was your sister.
- No, she isn't my sister.

Let's sleep in tomorrow.
- Let us sleep in.

How spoilt can you get?

Is that real champagne?

Of course.
- Let's drink it later.

Don't forget a towel.

What's all that?

That's caviar.
- I don't like that.

I prefer salmon.

So childish.
- Cheers, love.

And then...
- Cheers.

Did you have a nice time? Or me?

Is that without?
- I'll take without.

It's really delicious...
- It's not my story.

The red's nice, it matches your cap.

You'll like it.
- No, the cap. I'm into salmon.

The caviar is really good.

Salmon is good to and you know...
- Eat it together.

Salmon and caviar...
- Together.

That's what I mean.

You the caviar, me the salmon,
we both eat. And then...

No, you have eat both at once.

Please don't keep on griping.

You have to taste it. Don't be a baby.

I think it's what they call "pungent".

Not for me.

Is there anything in it?

You can talk. You're like your sister.
She wasn't bad in the car.

She's pretty good.

Your shortcomings on the backseat
were made up by her in the front.

Delicious
- A kiss first. Kiss, kiss...

Now a bite. Both a kiss, You too. Bite...

Oh that's... Is that caviar too?

Not bad.
- You never ate it?

Have you... why say you don't like it?

Texture and colour...
- It's an idea of yours.

I keep rabbits...

...and when they do a poo...

Urgh... it's horrible...
- Another mouthful?

You have to take a mouthful...

Or it won't work.

Put some caviar in between.
Delicious...

I just did, go on... have a sip...

Why give me your caviar?

Have your own. Look at your bed.

You're making a mess.
- I had some caviar.

You're dirty.

I had a whole mouthful.
It's good for the libido.

Shall we do it again?

You want some more?
You have to come too.

There you are?

Can I see?

You only lick it. I can do that.

Look, like I did with you...

It's... first take some caviar...

...then this. Take the salmon
and caviar together.

Not for me!
- It's delicious.

Eat it from my hand.

Urgh!

It pongs like hell.

I can't face it.
- Don't be childish.

In the champagne.
- Don't be a baby.

Okay... Caviar with champagne?

Is your sister not coming?

Don't mention the staff.
- Are you jealous?

Take a mouthful...

Have a drink.

You're a childish drinker too.
- But with a big d*ck. You didn't mind that.

I'm just starting...

...to get very tired.

Never mind.
- No...

One more mouthful.

You go to sleep.

See you tomorrow, love.

Sleep tight.

You know I hate English cars.

What use is it to me?

You'll read it in the papers.

I read about wonderful suicides
by the railway tracks.

How's my daughter?

She still won't talk, will you?

That's why she's my favourite.

Is the girl next-door nice to you?


- No...

I'll give you 2%00.
- Have a shower.

Give me the keys then.

It won't take long, Jack.

A tad too tame, amigos.

I never understood why
they did it under the shower.

Yes, let's get a move on, please!

Charley, tell your father to hurry!

He spends too much time
under cars!

The smile of a child
makes you realise you live

But he loves you.

He doesn't want you harmed.

That's why he's so reliable.

Otherwise I'd never have got you.

You know the woman
at the chemist?

Lizzy's her name.

I know why she was away so long.

She has one on a Miele too.

She went to hospital
with her womb full of dust.

She pressed the wrong switch!

Coffee!

I now speak on behalf of all children,
said Sylvia...

...with an unusually serious voice.

I don't think that any of us five would
object to you getting married.

So now give each other
an engagement kiss.

Okay?

Bea and Nico smiled happily
at each other.

They stood up and
walked over to each other.

May I, Nico asked.

Please, Bea answered.

While their children clapped
and cheered, their lips met...

...in a passionate kiss
that was a promise for a lifetime.

At the same time, another couple
sauntered past the house.

They walked hand in hand.

They stopped and looked in
through the open door.

There's no point, said d*ck shrugging.

We can't make those two jealous.

We'd better stop our game.

Gloria asked why.

I was starting to enjoy it.

The end...

Good morning, Mr Wulften.
- Good morning.

Hi Max.

Is he so shy?

When women come he has to leave.

But he's a big boy.
- Yes, he keeps growing.

You go and play with Aunt Charley.

Holidays are so expensive these days.

And they last so long.

Yes, you keep them quiet.

But you have them for too long?

Can't you farm them out?
- Farm them out?

We don't mind them stepping
through the garden.

Wonderful...
- Your sister too?

Great house...
- No problem with your sister?

You like it.
- It's great here.

We love it here.

No?
- Yes, it's an ideal spot downtown.

And the divine garden.
- Yes...

It's wonderful here.

Yes, by the way,
to change the subject...

The rent...

We should do something
about that, shouldn't we?

It's getting late.

All in the wind, all in the wind

it's only a skipper's child, all at once

it's only a skipper's child

come here Rosa

I'm your sister, your sister

come here Rosa, I'm your sister

it's only a skipper's child

come here Rosa

I'm your sister, your sister

come here Rosa

You can talk!

I'll tell Dad!

What's his name?

I don't like dolls.

My father says you're a bit crazy.

You came to pay the rent?

That's a good thing too.

Max...

Yes, well, Max...

I think Max did it.

Oh God...

People keep griping.

You need this.

Thank you.

I don't think she can talk.
- How sad.

I can't do anything until the rent is paid.
- Just count it.

Thank you.

Take it easy, I mean...

It's been better recently
- Quite...

That's nice.

Hurray, that's right.

You should educate your son...

How come?
- He's a sadist.

A sadist?

Dad. What's a sadist?

A sadist is someone who, well...

...catches a fly and pulls off it's legs.

Or someone who pushes pins
in doll's eyes.

Never mind, Give Aunt Charley a kiss.
Make her happy.

No?
- Like father, like son.

He has be like someone.

You can talk.

You shouldn't joke about Aunt Charley.

Nice! He jokes about the handicapped!

He reads those disgusting
comic strips you publish. Bye.

Glad you have an opinion.

Goodbye.

I, I am Prince Gabler, covered in dried
sh*t, my a*s overgrown with fungi.

Go to Popla...

...his hot breath as if he has sucked
the fur of a rat that has lain...

...for three months in a bucket of piss
from a decayed cat with bubonic plague.

Go to Popla, whose love...

...made every sphincter loosen.

...with Vaseline on a holy knob...

...I rode both men and women
at full tilt.

I brought them love and you...

It is Prince Gabler Popla you greet
in your sh*t house...

I pump enlightenment in your soul.
His word comes through my muscle.

It may hurt...
- It's closing time.

Disgusting!

And now a poem about life...

...love and sh*t!

What abstinence forbids,
as I saw my sh*t in the loo...

...I thought: No runny sh*t this time,
but a healthy turd decorating the bowl.

Fat and steaming in the pot...

...can I not feel
my d*ck groping up my groin?

That brown boy turns me on.

My heart thumps as saliva I spawn.

I think I'll wank above the turd...

...because my sphincter when I come
makes itself heard.

I think I'll flush.

Yes, an old fashioned flush.
I lost my heart.

A modern jerk is no better than a fart.

Why clap? They think he's crazy.

Ridiculous.

You have awful taste.

That's not how we brought you up.

I'm so ashamed of you.

Help me...

Thank goodness.

What's your name, doll?

Can't you speak?

She doesn't feel like it.

Never mind.

Are you her girlfriend, poop?

Something like that, And who were you?

Me? I'm the god of love.

Who plays a double game.

Man or woman,
I don't care who brings love.

It'll be the death of both of us.

You don't look like a q*eer.
- Believe me...

...I even analysed the gents.

King, emperor, admiral...

...they all know Prince Gabler Popla.

Gabler?
- Horny a*s f*ck lick each other...

At your service...

Tell me, twat, with whom
I have the pleasure?

I'm Beryl and this is Charley.
At your service.

You have a car?

No, doll. I came by bike.

We should have known he had no car.

Charley, I don't like this!

Wallonia!

sh*t dripping from hole

I squirt her longing mouth full

first she licks her toilet seat

the sh*t smells bad

What word is meant here?

The panelist who knows the answer...

The man who shat all over his darling.

I just tell her how tasty licking feels.

At the end of the recording, Joost
went along for a session up my a*s.

His tongue dried...

Then he whispered "hi sweet boy".

He stuck his nose up my steaming a*s.

Satisfied, I let him have the whole load...
He splashes too much.

He knew the right word
but played Mum.

He doesn't want sh*t stories
that smear his white teeth.

What's in your bag, angel?

I have the bible in my bag
and peace in my heart, fart.

I want to talk to you about the word God.

Jehovah.

He'll bring love.

I'd rather you paid.

God will punish you.

How much do you have...

...doll?

Pants full of fart!

Where's the bathroom?

My throne?

You don't have a diaper?

Hey, fart...

Can I enter that orifice?

I want to convert you.

I can take a lot, but
this is too much. Up yours.

That's what I mean.

Can't Charley join in?
- Do me a favour.

Her finger in my hole.

Come on, love.
- Leave her alone.

Okay. If you promise to kiss my a*s.

Little rabbit turds.

Tasty... but eh...

Where's my favourite greens? Endives?

It can't do any harm.

As long as I eat
plenty of green beans.

You're going to have a nice sleep.

Tasty? More?

I don't want any more caviar.
- Caviars...

The a*s light!

What's in that case?

Strange people you meet these days.

The sun crosses the heavens
as a cheering shout.

And that his willy gets fried.

I have to go to the benefits office.

Will you clear up?

I can't be late every day.
Look after yourself.

We have good news.

May we come in?
- Please?

Someone loves us.
- All of us.

He loves you with all His heart.

Aren't those Brother Gabler's gloves?
- Brother Gabler! A good Christian.

I'd say: Hallelujah!

Has Brother Gabler been here?
- Are you the spouse?

That's impossible.

It says "Charley Pasha". Your spouse?

Strange...

What else does it say?

It says Beryl.

Strange. You don't live with a woman?

The bible has a lot to say about that.

God didn't want that.
- May we come in?

Where is he?

Can we come in?
- With sugar please.

You say so little. Can't you speak?

You may say something.
- We'd love to listen to you.

Can't you speak?

As long as God...
- Are you foreign?

Strange...
- Where's Gabler?

Don't insult...
- I know those gloves.

He will be part...
- Peasant!

We are chosen.
- She has defiled God.

Impossible.

She defiled God...
- Wait.

May we have coffee, sweet child?

With sugar please.

Is that the bedroom?

The Kingdom of Heaven is nigh.

Delicious...

We'd love to leave some literature
for you to read...

...and to talk to you later.

But there's not much point for you.

No! Pity!

Only a few are chosen.

God...

God!

God!

Don't get up to things like this
in your time off.

Have you gone crazy?

I'll play for Ajax later.

Are you still angry?

You can talk. I told Dad.

Is he blind now?

It's my birthday tomorrow.
Will you come to my party?

Charley!

It's my birthday.

Charley.

Oh Charley... I thought you'd gone.

Birdie, give me the power of your wings

Oh, how lovely!

How wonderful!

What a surprise.

Lovely flowers!

And festoons!

Beautiful.

Oh how wonderful.

How sweet of you to think of me.

Shall we be still?

Lord, bless these victuals, amen.

I'm so scared they'll forget my birthday.

Then it's just...

...as if you're dead.

They only found Grandpa
a few days later by the stove...

...on his birthday.

I mean to say...

Before you know...

...you've forgotten.

Absolutely terrible.

A woman alone...

...is only a woman alone.

Put the doll away.

Put the doll away.

Sensitive.

If only I had a real man.

A rock...

...and then children.

I want a little girl.

You never know what becomes of boys.

Then: Coffee time!

Dead mice...

It's my birthday.

Birdies,
give me the power of your wings

storms hunt me on

Leave my things alone.

Who ever told you I couldn't talk?

Charley Pasha?
- Beryl Din?

Would you come with us?

Someone in distress needs you.

She thinks: "they found out
about the m*rder".

See? Now she's laughing again.

Can I come like this?

Put something on underneath.

Seek and thou shalt find.

Come on.

Come on!

Where are we going?
- To hospital.

A man wants to talk to you.

Who?
- Mr Larive...

I don't know him.
- He knows you.

What then?
- Nothing. We want you to talk to him.

What about?

Sister... Sister Gretchen.

I am thirsty...

...my silicon breast.

It's not ethical.

Attention. Hoffman.
- Heil Hoffman.

Beryl?
- She's on holiday.

So who's this?
- I'm Charley Pasha.

And these names.

So you're maybe Beryl's sister?

I don't have a sister.
- What a pity.

And who are you?

Inspector Beerekamp. Hans...

...Beerekamp.

Would you help us with Mr Larive?

You know Mr Larive? I'Arrive? I'Arrive?

You may remember the cases of suicide
on the railway tracks.

How does one say that in Dutch? Rails?

On the rails. All those corpses of
m*rder*d men.

You don't know anything
about that? Pity...

Mr Larive could help and maybe you...

What's that? Maybe you can too.

Your hand please.
- This isn't ethical.

But Herr Doctor!
You with your experience.

Thank you.

Help the police. Help.

Ah there's the sister too.
Hurrah, hurrah, I'm back again.

Aha, you had a good time
on my money?

What are you talking about?

Can you talk?

I don't know what you mean!

I expected your sister here.

Has she gone?
- I don't have a sister.

I don't understand.

I k*lled the taxi driver.

I laid him in front of the train.

I did it! I k*lled him!

Did you sleep well?

You were naughty.

"He didn't say anything," said Saskia.

He only talked about food.

"I don't like bread," added Peter.
"I'd rather have fries and ketchup."

Bea laughed. "He didn't explain it well,"
she said to Nico.

"Just say we love each other and want
to be one big happy family."

"I try that all the time," said Nico.

Hello?

Who's that? Is it you, Charley?

Congratulations on your birthday.

Kisses from Dad, Charley.

"Now I speak on behalf of all children,"
Sylvia said seriously.

"None of us would object
to you marrying.

"I suggest you kiss each other and
get engaged."

Bea and Nico gazed happily
at each other.

They stood up and walked closer.

"May I," asked Nico.
"Sure," replied Bea.

While their children clapped and
cheered, they kissed.

It was a promise for life.

The end.

One moment please...

Have you checked on the squatter?
- He'll be fast asleep.

Police.
- This is Charley.

If you want to know how the corpses
got on the rails...

...call the Pasha Garage.



So...

...If you want to know how
the corpses got on the rails...

...then call the Pasha Garage on 26...

...%613.

Bye Beryl...

Oh my God, what a terrible...

What's all this...

I told you she's unstable.

Is the lady dead?

I knew something was wrong
when we couldn't reach Mary.

Who's Mary?
- The nurse.

I have lots to do.

Out you all go!

Come with me.

Doctor, do something, who are you?

Hello!

Lock you up for life, girl...

Who did you say?
- In an asylum.

I only deal with the asylum.

Asylum!

DO something!

We had other solutions in WW II.

Solutions...

Other solutions.

Lock her up.

Help me, I have no air.

Put a straitjacket on her.
We had other solutions in the w*r.

You are a doctor, but a useless one.

Terrible...
- Do something.

Forward...

Hey, a Rolex!

I'm having a nervous breakdown.

What a pigsty!

What a mess!

I never saw anything like it.
- Lovely rooms you rent!

A lovely room in such a mess.
I'd have you locked up.

You owe me the rent.

Just try and get it.

Terrible.

She should get
solitary confinement for life!

Don't you worry.
- I'll make sure of that.

I'll take care of that!

Has the ambulance arrived?

sl*t!

Bye Dad.

Happy birthday to you

Inspector Beerekamp was
promoted for his heroism.

He's Head of the narcotics brigade.

Charley was given life.

She's in therapy with her father and
makes progress every day.