01x07 - Walter Reed

[bunniefuu]

Hey!

Welcome to the preamble for the bonus episode

exclusive for the d-v-d of lil' bush.

If you're seeing this on youtube ,

you're a thief!

Yes. Don't see it.

I'm donick cary. Writer, producer, executive-- raa raa raa

of uh, lil' bush.

And this is...

Opus moreschi.

I'm a writer and I'm sometimes the secretary of interior.

And this episode you are about to watch-- actually, opus wrote.

Was uh-- came about because we needed a back up episode for the first season

in case anything should happen to our beloved vice president,

the real d*ck cheney.

Uh, in one of our shows, the lil' d*ck cheney,

who's a animated character,

unlike the real d*ck cheney,

who is made of flesh, blood and evil.

Uh, lil' d*ck cheney died and went to heaven--

uh, no, not to heaven.

To hell, where he annoys the devil.

You may have seen it. If you're--

if you're watching this...

You probably watched that.

And uh, and so the thought was that if he did die and actually go to hell,

that would be, both, insensitive to d*ck cheney and the devil.

Yes.

[Both] so...

That was good.

So--

owe me a coke.

We wrote this one...

And it never aired.

- Nope. - No one's ever seen it.

Henry rollins makes an appearance as a veteran.

It's a funny episode.

It's called "walter reed".

Enjoy.

Let's watch.

♪♪

♪ Lil' bush, he's lil' bush ♪

♪ lil' bush, lil' bush ♪

♪ lil' bush, he's lil' bush ♪

♪ lil' bush, lil' bush ♪

tonight's episode,

the one where we made an extra episode

in case lil' cheney's heart exploded.

[Gurgling]

[panting]

ugh!

Lil' george, where is your brother?

He's right here.

We're playing abu gh-jeb.

[Panting]

jeb is evil doer.

And I'm the evil donor.

[Yelps]

now little george, don't t*rture him.

It's not t*rture...

Just waterboarding him.

Oh you...

Well finish that up and come to dinner.

General franks is here.

[Gasps for air]

alright jeb,

I gotta go eat dinner.

You can keep playing...

I'll be back in a half an hour.

[Takes a deep breath]

[gurgling]

well, a vast majority of the country

is against this w*r,

and wants the soldiers to come home.

Well, only one thing to do then.

Troop surge!

Tremendous, sir.

But our recruitment numbers are at an all time low.

Well, I guess putting your life on the line

for a pointless w*r just isn't cool anymore.

These kids today...

Too busy drinking strawberry phosphates

and sitting in front of their danged electric fans.

So, you're ready for your

big trip overseas this weekend, lil' george?

Overseas!?

I don't wanna go overseas.

Everyone you meet overseas is unamerican.

And plus, whenever they talk so un-understandablish.

Oh no.

I've already signed your permission slip

for operation "cuddle storm".

They send school children to the front lines to hug g-i's.

What if I just hugged troops

at that veteran's hospital next door...

Walter reed?

And instead of hugging their bodies with my arms,

me and my awesome band will hug their ears with music.

It's a head hug, dad! Head hug.

Well son,

your well reasoned argument has convinced me.

You and the g*ng can put on your concert.

Awesome!

And we can sh**t the whole thing for a music video.

Those soldiers are gonna be blown away all over again.

But this time by rock and roll!

[All laughing]

now, with all the t-v cameras I invited,

our concert will make and instant music video.

All we gotta do is set up

and rock out with our c*ck out.

Oh my god!

It's an expression, cond... God.

Raa raa raa, my bad, raa raa raa.

[Zip]

hey, are you guys the lil' bush band?

I'm supposed to give you a tour.

Whoa!

Looks like pop raised taxes again.

It cost you an arm and a leg.

[All laughing]

actually, it's a w*r injury...

But that's a good one.

I'd give you a hand,

but this is my last one.

I think it's a little inappropriate

to joke about the w*r.

But I'll let that one slide.

But say um...

I like you and your lop-sided way.

I'm gonna call you...

Halfsie.

I'd prefer if you called me steve.

But, halfsie's perfect!

Because you're missing your left half.

Raa raa raa this guy's alright raa raa raa.

[All laughing]

yeah, I'm just like you guys...

I'm a real right winger!

Uh, too soon halfsie.

Too soon.

[Crows cawing] [ominous music]

whoa!

[Moaning]

wow! This place is a dump.

And where the heck are we gonna perform our feel good song? Huh?

Well, what do the patients' rooms look like?

[Crash]

hey steve.

Hey phil.

Hey, mummy hat!

Get ready to rock your a*s off.

You do still have an a*s, don't you?

Who's in charge around here anyway?

The general?

He used to fly test planes for the army.

Here he comes now.

[Monkey screech]

g*ng...

It's clear to me,

we cannot have an awesome rock and roll music video

when all these people are stuck here suffering.

There's only one thing to do.

Fix the horrible conditions in this hospital?

What's wrong with you cond? Seriously.

I'm talking about taking something hideous

and making it presentable for television.

I call it...

Operation greta van susteren.

[On megaphone] lower the flag!

Now no one will ever see that dump.

Let's go people!

Focus up! It's magic time!

How we doing on set design, cheney?

Raa raa raa. Art takes time. Raa raa raa.

Well, pick up the pace.

We gotta make this music video look perfect...

For the troops.

Ew... These troops have got to go.

Hey, get me central casting.

And I want the hunkiest characters in town...

And they better be hard bodies.

[All groan]

now that's more like it.

[Announcer] ladies and gentlemen,

the lil' bush band!

[Crowd cheers]

hey everyone.

I wanna welcome the press

and your beautiful t-v cameras.

[Crowd cheers]

and also welcome all our returning veterans.

That's you guys. Heh.

[Incoherently chatting]

now here's a little head hug I wrote just for you all.

Okay g*ng, let's roll...

And rock.

[Rock music]

♪ you fought in a w*r ♪

♪ in the desert sand ♪

♪ you coming back home ♪

♪ and with a missing hand ♪

♪ it's all worth it ♪

♪ 'cuz you get to hear the band ♪

[indistinct]

♪ they sure are jerks ♪

[indistinct]

♪ didn't quite work ♪

♪ but now you're doing better ♪

♪ with paper work ♪

♪ for those who had iraq ♪

♪ we salute you ♪

[rocking out]

♪ for those who had iraq ♪

♪ we salute you ♪

♪ for those who had iraq ♪

♪ we salute you ♪

[crowd chattering] this is a disaster.

[Guy] this is america?

[Guy] disgraceful.

Oh, heh heh.

Uh, that's rock and roll. Heh heh.

[On television] ♪ we salute you ♪

[man] this is a disaster!

[Woman] terrible!

Young man,

you are in deep trouble this time.

I'm trying to get a troop surge going here

and you're out exposing our little military whoopsie-daisies.

You know how I feel about that.

[Angrily] oh you think that's bad?

But don't forget the real victims here.

Me!

My music video is a laughing stock,

instead of a rocking stock.

Lil' george, you're gonna have to do the same thing you did

after you hit a baseball through old man dole's window.

Cry and pee myself?

No... You're going to have to pay for the damage you've done.

Aw, nuts!

Now we gotta raise money. And we gotta do it quick.

How about we ask lil' jack abramoff?

He's got tons of money to spread around.

I have never heard of that guy.

George, come on,

you hang out with him all the time.

I said,

I have never heard of that guy.

You know, I was really starting to hate you guys,

but your music video showed everybody

just how awful it is around here.

Maybe now, somebody will do something with this crappy hospital.

That's it!

The hospital.

Now hold up cronies. I got an idea.

Oh! What is it?

Not you, halfsie.

Hey!

[Rock music]

[rock music]

[sinister laugh]

[screaming]

raa raa raa ka ching! Raa raa raa

[smash]

yeah! We earned a ton of money!

And I have a strange urge to spend it all

on an unsuccessful oil venture.

Heh heh. What's wrong with my crazy brain?

Man, I need a cream soda.

Well, the soda machine in the hallway is broken.

We can use this money to fix it.

But george, there are so many things

around the hospital that we need to fix.

The soda machine's not critical.

Well, it is for me right now.

I'm seriously parched.

Now listen,

we're the only ones taking care of these troops.

And if we're not taken care of,

then the troops aren't taken care of.

Are you against the troops?

No, I'm for the troops.

How could you be for the troops

and against the w*r?

I didn't say anything about the w*r.

Good. Then keep it that way, hippie.

Now let's help the troops by helping ourselves.

Right g*ng?

[All] right! Raa raa raa!

Come on!

[Glass breaks]

this is the life.

At least I can live like a rock star.

Lil' george,

do you think it was right

to divert the electricity from the rest of the hospital?

Well, if we didn't,

we wouldn't have enough energy for lil' cheney's tanning bed.

Raa raa raa oompa loompa raa raa raa

and what about using all the hospital's water

for lil' rummy's new hobby?

Damn it woman!

Hot tubbing is not just a hobby,

it's a way of life.

Hospitals are great!

I don't see why anyone would complain about this place.

Hey phil.

Hey steve.

[Crash]

[in unison] hey bill.

[Bill] phil. Steve.

Oh! Oh, not again.

[Clears throat]

no patients allowed.

Young man, I've got no patience, period!

Uh-oh.

Just look at this place!

Uh, what do you call this?

Uh... Practice for when I'm president?

General bananas, I'm disappointed in you.

[Monkey screeches]

now that you've exposed this hospital

nobody wants to join the army anymore.

I'll never get my dang troop surge.

Please, mr. President,

send me back to iraq.

I wanna re-enlist!

You do?

All of us do.

Anything is better than this hell hole!

So everybody is re-enlisting?

[All] yeah! Get me outta here!

Well, it looks like you got your troop surge after all pop.

Lil' george, check this out!

We're up to a million hits on youtube.

The headbangers love it.

They say it's the sickest, darkest music video they've ever seen!

Wow!

It turns out our video was awesome!

A note to self...

Never listen to the press again.

Heh heh. That's my boy.

Things really have a way of working out in the end.

[All laughing]

ugh, this guy.

Hey, can anyone open this bottle of medication?

[All laughing]

oh halfsie.

Hey!

I hope you had fun tonight.

But more importantly,

I hope you think a little bit about how we treat the men--

and women, who have made the ultimate--

[cracking] [smash]

sacrifice to defend our country and--

oh for f*ck's sake!!