02x18 - Rerun Sees the Light

[bunniefuu]

Hey, rob,
what's happening, brother?

Hey, you fellas know
what you want?

Where's shirley?

Oh, she stepped out.

Where'd she go?

To the beauty parlor.
You want to wait for her?

No, we don't have
that much time.

[Both guffawing]

Come on, guys.
What do you want?

I'll have a cheeseburger.

Me, too.

Comin' up.
All right.

Hey, rob.

What's happenin'?

What's goin' on, rerun.
Hey, rerun.

Why're you smiling like...

You'd be smiling, too,
if you'd just made a date

With the woman
of your dreams.

You mean you're goin' out
with sarah lee?

No, chump.

Well, who's your
dream girl?

I don't think you guys
know her, but you will.

She's meeting me here
in a few minutes.

Oh, where are you goin'
on your big date?

Church.

Church?

Church?

Yeah. We're gonna meet
the high priest
of the baba ram baba people.

The baba who?

Not baba who.
Babalu. Babalu!

Joke not,
ye of little minds.

Huh?

We're goin' to meet
the high priest
of the baba ram baba people,

Because my date's
the high priestess.

The high priestess?

Uh, where did you meet
this priestess?

On the corner
of 5th and la brea.

And I'll never forget it.

There I was comin' out
of the supermarket,

And there she was,
standin' on the corner

With a tambourine,
singin',

♪ Oom shala goom shak-shak,
oom shala goom shak-shak ♪

Oom shala goom what?

Shak-shak.

That's when she came over
to talk to me
about my twinkie.

Huh?

I was eatin' a twinkie
at the time.

And she said I shouldn't eat
unnatural foods.

And as the high priestess
of her people,

She was gonna make me
her special project.

Wait a minute, rerun.
You're givin' up twinkies

Just because of a girl?
Now, that's unnatural.

Dwayne, life-is-love
is not just a girl.

What?

Life-is-love,
that's her name.

Yeah, but be careful.

I mean, there are a lot of
new religions doing good work,

But there are plenty of those
fly-by-night religious cults.

So, you can't believe
everything you hear.

That's right.
You can't believe
everything you hear.

Hello, rerun.

Oh, hi, life-is-love.

Raj, dwayne,
this is the high priestess

Of the baba ram baba people.

Hello, dwayne.

Hi, priestess.

Hello, roger.

Uh, oom babalu.

Well, we'd better be going,

Because we don't want
to be late for the service.

It was so nice meeting you.

Oh, it was nicer meeting you.

See you guys later.

♪ Oom shala goom shak-shak,
oom shala goom shak-shak ♪

♪ Oom shala goom shak-shak

Boy, raj, I didn't realize
people who went to church
could look like that.

Hmm.

Here you go.

Hey, what was wanda jordon
doin' in here.

Oh, that was life-is-love.

Life is what?

Life-is-love.

Life-is-love, huh?

Boy, wanda hasn't changed
a bit.

What're you talkin' about?

Wanda jordon
is one of the biggest
con artists around.

She once tried to pass off
some counterfeit bills on me.

Well, how'd you know
they were counterfeit?

George washington
had a mustache.

She's bad news.

Oh, no, poor rerun.

Now wait a second.
Let's not jump to conclusions.

It could be that this, uh,
wanda is a changed person.

I mean, for all we know,
she could've reformed

And turned over
a whole new leaf

Because of her experience
with the rama bob rama people.

No, no. I think
that was robba mama robba.

No, it was babba robba bobba.

bibbity bobbity boo.

What are you talkin' about?

Oh, some new
weird religious group,

And she's the high priestess.

Wanda? A high priestess?

She's really gettin' good
at being bad. I give her that.

bibbity bobbity boo.

Well, I'm leaving
for the p.t.a. Meeting now,
roger,

And I know I can depend on you
to take care of dee tonight?

What? Mama,
when did you tell me
to care of dee tonight?

Just a second ago.

She's right, raj.
I heard her.

Try to pay more attention
to your mother.

But, mama,
I've already made plans.

I'm going to the movies
with dwayne and rerun.

So, take dee with you.

But, mama--

Look on the bright side, raj.
You'll be much better off.

And how's that?

Well, with me along,
you'll be too embarrassed

To walk up
to some strange girl

In your deep, cool voice:

[Imitating raj]
hey, baby, big raj here.

And that way, you won't
beg me to stop laughing
through the whole movie

Because the girl called you
a 4-eyed fool.

[Chuckling]

The kid has
a wild imagination.

You just take care
of your sister.

And here's enough money
for both of you.
Now goodbye, children.

Call me when you're ready
to go.

I'll be upstairs
with the movie section.

Oh!

Oh, hi, mrs. Thomas.
Hi, dwayne.

Bye, mrs. Thomas.

Hey, hey, hey.

Raj, is somethin'
the matter, man?

Well, dee has to go
to the movies with us.

But that's not
the real problem.

I still don't know
how to tell rerun
that life-is-love is a fake.

It's simple. You just say,
"rerun, she's a fake."

And then shove a twinkie
in his mouth to k*ll the pain.

[Knocking on door]

Hey, what's happenin', raj?
Hey, rerun.

What it be like, dwayne?

Hey, rerun.

It's gonna be all right,
buddy. You'll see.

It's gonna be all right,
buddy.

Huh? Dwayne, what are you
talkin' about?

Hey, nothing.
Hey, what do you say,
we go to the movies, buddy?

Oh, raj, about the movies,
we have to do it
some other time.

The baba ram baba people
are havin' a very important
meeting tonight.

Life-is-love said
I should be there.

Yeah, well, rerun,
I've somethin' to tell you
about life-is-love.

What is it?

Sit down.

Now, rerun,
you gotta listen to me.

'Cause what I have to say
isn't easy,

But you're
one of my best friends

And I feel that
it's my duty to let you know
the complete truth about her.

The truth is
she's the only one

That made me
want to go on a diet
and lose weight,

Do well in school,
and have some respect
for myself.

But if there's more truth,
go ahead, tell me.

Go ahead, what's the truth?

The truth is, uh,
we're going to the movies.

Oh. Well, have a good time.
See you cats later.

Now, look, dwayne.

Dwayne, will you come on in?

[Dwayne]
uh-uh.

Dwayne, trust me.

There are no aliens
from outer space
in our house.

Well, how do you know
they're not upstairs?

'Cause that's where they were
when that poor family
came home in the movie.

Well, we have a sign
that says,

"No aliens allowed
above the first floor."

I swear
this is the last time

We let you
pick the movie, dee.

Of course they could be
hiding under the sofa.

Huh?

Will you two stop it?
Sit down, dwayne.

Boy, you know, it just didn't
seem the same without rerun.

It must've been nice
to go to a movie

And not have everybody think
your friend is the screen.

Dee, why don't you
go upstairs. You sound tired.

Raj, we gotta talk to rerun
before he gets in any deeper.

I know, but I don't know
how to tell him.

Will you two stop worrying
about rerun?

I guarantee you
he's going to snap
out of this.

And what makes you
so sure?

Because I know rerun.

He's gonna get bored with
this oom shaka laka business

Just the same as he got bored
with wantin' to be a dancer,

A nightclub comedian,
and a tree surgeon.

Oh, you know, I never thought
about it like that.

[Knocking on door]

Oom shala goom shak-shak.

Oom shala goom shak-shak.

Oom shala goom shak-shak.

Oom shala goom shak-shak.

Greetings.

Well, what do you think?

I think you look like
mount baldy.

Dear, sweet child.

Rerun, does all
this stuff mean

That you've actually
joined this group?

Ah, roger, I am no longer
called rerun.

I have given up
my worldly name.

From now on,
you will refer to me

By the name chosen for me
by the baba ram baba people.

What's that?

Abu wasir rotundo.

It means large, happy one
who sucks the lotus.

Oh, this is a wonderful day.

I feel that
I can now inspire.

You look more like
you could perspire.

Dear, sweet child.

Excuse me, dwayne.

Now, shamu.

That's abu.

Oh, right. Abu.

Why didn't you tell someone
you gonna go and do this?

Knowin' how you feel about
my priestess, life-is-love,

I knew you would not approve.

Hmm, how did you find out?

Well, I was in the soda shop
and I bumped into rob.

Is the poor man
goin' to live?

I am convinced
that rob is mistaken,

And you may think
whatever you want,

And you may say
whatever you want,

And believe me,
it's all right.

For you see,
ralph is not a vengeful god.

Ralph?

Ralph is the name of our god.

The symbol of all that
is natural, clean, and pure.

A-and you call him ralph?

Ralph is not a "him."

Ralph is a head of lettuce.

You worship
a head of lettuce?

Rerun, please!

We do not
worship the lettuce.

We worship mother nature.

Mother nature
is our divinity.

The lettuce is only a symbol.

Oh, is that why your head
looks like

The bottom of a salad bowl?

[Raj snickering]

Snicker all you want,
but let me tell you this.

Since life-is-love
convinced me to accept ralph
as my savior,

I have found tranquility
and true inner peace.

I only wish you all
could somehow be inside of me
to feel it.

There's certainly
enough room.

Dee.

Dear, sweet child.

Hands off, kojak!

Uh, tell me something,

Did this life-is-love
convince you
to do anything else?

Like give her money
for that religion?

Don't be ridiculous.

Are you tryin' to tell me
she didn't ask
for any money at all?

She didn't ask for one penny.

The high priest did.

Oh, man, rerun, how much money
did you give those people?

Dwayne, the amount
is not important,

Especially since I no longer
have any need for money.

All members of baba ram baba

Must give up all
their worldly possessions.

All we need is mother nature

And ralph.

Rerun, how much money
did you give 'em?

$43.

$43! Don't you see
they're makin' a fool
out of you?

Yeah. A bald one.

Brothers,

Dear sweet sister,
I don't expect you
to understand.

Because you have yet
to experience inner peace.

You know, life-is-love
could have picked any of us,

But I have a feelin'

That ralph knew I was ready.

And now, if you excuse me,

I must go to the temple
and begin my fast.

Your fast?

All new members
of the baba ram baba

Must shave their heads
and fast for 3 days

In order to cleanse the soul.

We must then give the priest
the money we would have spent

On food and afro sheen.

It's part of the initiation.

Man!

Abu, don't get me wrong,

And I know you really believe
in all this stuff,

But tell me,
is it worth giving up
everything you have?

Roger, what did I have
to give up?

My life was a total zero.

I'm overweight.

I've been in the 12th grade
for 3 years.

Overweight and overdue.

I don't have to engage
in silly discussions

With people whose souls
have no faith or purity.

Goodbye, roger.

Goodbye, dwayne.

Goodbye, dear sweet child.

Perhaps some day
you will come to know

What I have come to know.

But until then,

Praise ralph!

Praise him!

Hi, ralph.

I guess
everybody's gone, huh?

I shall now squat and pray.

[High priest]
$996, $997.42.

Not a bad take.

[Life-is-love]
whoo, all right!
Oh, my goodness. Mmm-mmm.

This is better than the take
in san diego.

How much longer
do we have to do this?

Don't worry, baby.
Tomorrow, while all
those poor, misguided fools

Are out there,
chantin' to their lettuce,

You and I will be on our way

To the peaceful waters
of tahiti, with their cabbage.

Come, dear.

[Moaning]

I can hardly wait.

You know, maybe I will miss
that fat kid after all.

I get such a big kick
out of watchin' him squat.

[Cackling]

I can't believe
I fell for that.

Ok, just settle down.
We're tryin' to think
of something.

Not only did they rip me off,

But they made me shave off
my dynamite afro.

But, please, nobody say,
"I told you so."

But everybody
did tell you so.

Dee, help, don't hinder.

I've had enough.
I think I'll go get
a tuna fish sandwich

With mayonnaise,
tomatoes, and ralph.

Rerun, uh, tell me more
about this ralph.

Oh, ralph is lettuce.

Mother nature is the force.

They all respect
mother nature.

They say she is
the true meaning, the spirit,
you know, the power.

She is, is she?
Well, have you ever seen her?

Nobody sees her, mrs. Thomas.

I mean, some of the members
have claimed to have visions.

But nobody really sees her.

[Snickering]

Not yet.

What are you
getting at, mama?

Oh, nothing.
Just a little fun maybe.

[Inaudible]

Thank you for the donation,
brother.

Now, remember, followers,
our goal is to be free

Of sin and money
by midnight.

Does anyone else have a vision
they want to tell us about?

I do.

Ah, brother abu.
Add your worldly money
to the pot there

And tell us
about your vision.

You had a vision, abu?

May I squat?

Gladly.

Uh, not there, abu.

Would you mind doin' it
somewhere else?

Sorry.

I seem to be stuck!

What? You seem to be what?

Come on, brother, get up.
Oh, now, here.

[Grunting]

Ah! I knew it.

It's like in the vision.

Mother nature herself
spoke to me.

All say "oom lak-lak."

[All]
oom lak-lak!

Nice, nice.

And she said, "squat thyself
across the pot,

"For I don't need money.

"And return the money
to the brethren
and the sisters

For mother nature
only needs love."

All shout,
"oom lak-lak oom."

[All]
oom lak-lak oom!

That's enough vision, abu.

Now get your squat
off my pot.

Only mother nature
can remove me.

But, mother nature
will never come.

Uh, then we better
call a tow truck.

She is a concept.
An idea. A dream.

A dream?

[Laughs]

[People coughing]

Did you hear that?
She called me a dream?

Well, stand back.
Your dreams has come true.

[Rerun]
mother nature! Mother nature!

She is here. All shout,
"oom lak-lak oom."

[All]
oom lak-lak oom!

Mother nature, mother nature,
remove me from this pot!

Rise my son,
and all take back your money.

[High priest]
now. Wait a minute here.

Let me put it this way,

High priest
and high priestess,

Bug off!

Now wait a minute, mama.
I didn't--

Don't you put
your hands on me!

You see, it's not nice
to feel mother nature.

Now, sisters and brothers,

[Exclaims]

"Lettuce" go.

This way.

[Muttering]

Oom lak-lak.

Oom!

[All guffawing]

Mother nature!

Oom shaka laka oom.

That was so funny.

Oh, mama, did you see the look
on his face when you came in?

Oh, honey, I couldn't see
much of anything
through all that smoke.

But rerun, I hope
you've learned something
by all this.

That's right, rerun.

Believe me,
the worst thing a guy can do

Is to lose his cool
over a pretty face.

Amen.

Hi, mama. Hi, guys.
Oh, hi, baby.

Hey, dee.

Raj, by the way,
some girl called
and said she wanted you

To come over and help her
with her homework.

Who was it?

Sharon lerner.

Sharon lerner? That's our
beautiful homecoming queen.

And a good example
of how I could lose my cool

Over a pretty face.

But no, I realize there are
more important things

Than a beautiful face.

[Mama]
mmm-hmm.

Luckily, none of them here.
Later.

Oh, roger, come back.

Oom shaka laka oom!

Oom!