03x17 - The Eviction

[bunniefuu]

[Rerun]
it's stuck again, raj.

Don't just press it,
you gotta lift it and push.

Let's go. 1, 2, 3.

I hate that door!

Rerun, that door is a thing.

You can't get emotionally
involved with a thing.

You can't hate a door.

♪[music playing]

[Music stops]

What are we gonna do, raj?

Ever since mrs. Watson
sold this building,

It's just fallin' apart!

Man, the pipes leak,
there's no heat,

And the plaster's
just falling off the wall.

Oh, no!

What is it now?

The refrigerator's
on the blink.

Everything is frozen solid!

Look, my chicken has turned
into a cluckcicle.

This was gonna be
our dinner, raj.

We've got to get
that new landlord

To do something!

Rerun,
would you just take it easy?

Take it easy? We'll starve!

What do eskimos do?

They rub noses.

It doesn't have a nose.

[Pounding]

Rerun, please!

I'm trying to study.

Heat, raj. I need heat!

[Knocking on door]

Come on in, dwayne.

[Rattling]

Dwayne,
you gotta lift and push.

Lift and push.

Man, I hate this door!

Dwayne, no!

♪[music playing]

Oh, raj, this is just like
the fun house.

[Music stops]

Believe me, dwayne,
this house is no fun.

Yeah.

Hey, rerun, man,
what are you doing?

Ironin' a chicken?

I'm trying,
but it's not working.

Well, I bet you
it's real hard to get

Nice creases in a bird.

I know what I'll do,
I'll put it in the stove.

That should thaw it out.

Yeah.

[Rumbling]

That does it!

This new landlord can't push
us around like this.

I'm fed up and
I'm not gonna take anymore.

That's right.
Me either.

Sit down, dwayne,
you don't even live here.

Yeah, but I love
a good fight.

Look, you guys are my pals.
If you're in trouble,

We're all in trouble.

I mean, if I could,
I'd come over here

And fight with you,
side by side.

Just like the 3 musketeers.

You mean it?
You'd do that for us?

Sure.

If you didn't live
in such a dump.

Oh, raj,
I'm glad you're back.

Raj, I got big news.

The bathtub blew up?

No.

Well, then, can it wait?
'Cause, rerun, I am tired.

I had a rough day.

I just wanna relax
and take it easy.

[Sighs]

That exam was m*rder.

But, raj, remember
what you said yesterday

About us standin' up
for our rights?

Yes, I know.

I called the landlord,
he wasn't in.

Well, I did something
about it.

I called a tenant's meeting.

Oh, yeah?

Well, you just
count me out, rerun,
I don't want any part of it.

I've been on
those committees at school,

Nothing ever gets done.

So if you don't mind,
I'll just lay here and relax

And take it easy.

No, I don't mind.

But that doesn't leave much
room for the others.

Others? What others?

[Knocking on door]

Well, you know,

I thought since I called
the meeting,

I should have it here.

Rerun!

You don't have
to thank me, raj.

Thank you? Thank you?

Thank you so much.

[Speaking chinese]

[All chattering]

Hey,
what do you say there, raj?

How you doin', rerun?

No, big earl, don't!

Don't what?

♪[music playing]

Is this a party?

Sorry about that, folks.

Yeah, this is number 6
on our complaint list.

Tight door and loose window.

At least your stereo works.

You know, our fuses
keep blowing all the time.

I'm sittin' up
there in the dark.

I can't get any hot water.
No hot water.

Order. Order. Order!

I'm glad everyone came
and let's not waste a moment.

Right. Let's get right
down to business, ok?

Right! What shall we have
for refreshments?

Twinkies or ding dongs?

Rerun, twinkies'll be fine.

Well, who elected
you spokesman?

You want the ding dongs?

No, let's get goin'.
Ok, let's go.

Enough!
Let's deal the cards.

Cards?

Isn't this the wednesday night
poker game?

[All]
oh.

Uh, hey,
wait a minute, everybody.

Mr. Wing has
something important to say.

What is it?

[Speaking chinese]

Twinkie!

Oh.

Well, a twinkie is like
a large oblong fortune cookie.

But only instead
of a fortune inside,

There's a lot of goo.

Oh, goo.

Forget the goo!
I want some action!

Don't look at me. I'm 82.

Not much younger
to you, john.

[All]
oh!

Who cares about jargon?

My kitchen stove is 82.

Look, why don't we just
have fig newtons?

Rerun, it doesn't matter
what we have.

[All chattering]
I don't care
what everybody else wants.

I am providing
the refreshments.

Please! Please! Please!

Now we'll never
accomplish anything

Standing around
yellin' at each other.

[Earl]
well, you're right, I guess.

We need for one person
to be in charge.

All right?

All you need is
for one person

To stand up
to the landlord and tell him

We're sick and tired
of his lame excuses.

[All]
all right.

All right?

And force him to live up
to his responsibilities!

[All]
yeah. Yeah.

Congratulation, roger.
Go to it!

Man, you got it,
you do it.

You're elected.
It's unanimous, right?

[All]
all right. All right.

I don't--
I don't want it.

I don't-- I don't want it.

[Speaking chinese]

Goo?

Goo-bye.

♪[music playing]

♪[Scatting]

Rerun!

You called?

Could you please
make a little less noise?

Sorry, raj.

It's not easy
to eat frozen spaghetti.

Yeah, yeah, I know.

Well, hopefully
today will be the last day

We'll have to put up

With that
dumb refrigerator.

You think that
landlord'll show up?

Oh, hey,
don't worry, he'll show up.

I went down to his office

And I told his secretary

That I represent
the entire building,

And that he better
come down here

Personally to answer
our complaints,

Or he'd be
in big trouble.

I'm glad we elected
you president, raj.

You're a real powerhouse.

Well.

Yeah, but what if he refuses
to listen to you?

Then I'll just
have to get tough.

And I'll tell him
that he's a greedy fool

With no respect
for the rights of others,

And demand that he make
the repairs now!

What if he starts
a fight, raj?

A fist fight?

[Rerun]
mmm-hmm.

Rerun, grownups
don't fight with their fists.

They fight with lawyers.

[Knocking on door]

I bet you that's him.

Hmm. We'll see.

You roger thomas?

I haven't seen him.

Roger thomas
with the big mouth?

Yeah, that's him.

Well, roger thomas
with the big mouth,

I'm sam logan
with the bad temper.

I own this building
you got somethin'
you wanna say to me?

No, sir.

Hey, raj, tell him the part
about the lawyers.

Uh, i--i had
something to say earlier,

But i--
I forgot what it was.

Don't you remember, raj?

You said that you
were going to demand

That he make repairs!

Oh, yeah?

[Squeakily]
I said that?

Yep. And then if he said no,

You was gonna tell him
what kind of fool he is.

A fool?

Dwayne, I didn't say--

I said I wanted to see the man
to tell him how cool he was.

Dwayne is on
the swimming team.

He gets water in his ears.

Listen, I'm no fool
and I'm not cool.

I just don't want
any trouble in my buildin'.

No more troublemakers.

Troublemakers?

Us? Oh, come on.

Why don't you
just take it easy and visit?

You want
some coffee or tea,

Or a little spaghetti?

I didn't come here
to kid around.

Yeah.

Of course you didn't.

I know exactly
why you came here.

You came here

Because you have
a valuable piece of property

And you wanna take
good care of it.

I do?

Of course you do.

Look at this workmanship.

You don't see many buildings
like this these days.

I mean, solid construction.

[Wing shouting]

Sorry, mr. Wing.

Wing. Another complainer.

Oh, believe me, mr. Logan,
you've made a wise investment.

You could--

This place could triple
it's value

In just a few years,

If you just make the repairs.

You know, you fellas
might be right.

I do have
a valuable investment here

That could be
worth a lot more

With just by makin'
a few repairs.

Yeah, see, and then
everybody would be happy.

Tell you what I'm gonna do.

Yes?

Make me out a list
of those few little things

That need fixin',

And I'm gonna
take care of them.

I got our list
right here.

[Door shuts]

He sure reads fast, raj.

Ladies and gentlemen,

Our president
has something to say.

Thank you, rerun.

The reason I
called you all here

Is because I have
some very good news.

[All]
all right!

Our battle is won.

[All]
all right!

Mr. Logan has
decided to make

All needed repairs
immediately!

[All cheering]

[Knocking on door]

This 308?

Roger thomas
and fredrick stubbs?

Yes.

Got a delivery.
A microwave oven.

Microwave oven!

Wow.

A microwave oven!

Mr. Logan
really came through.

How about that?

And we just told him
our stove was on the blink.

You got a new
refrigerator coming, too.

A new refrigerator?

A new refrigerator.

[All exclaiming]

Hey, here comes
mr. Logan now.

Good old mr. Logan.

Hey, bless his heart.

Hey, logan,
how you doin'?

Yeah, how ya doin'?

Well, it looks
like everybody's here.

Mr. Logan,
I can't tell you how happy

We are about
that microwave oven.

What a surprise that was.

Yeah, a whole modernized
kitchen's goin' in.

New stove,
refrigerator, dishwasher.

This place is gonna look
like a real luxury apartment.

The man's a saint!

And a luxury apartment

Should bring in almost
double the rent.

Now wait just a minute, logan.

What?

Sir, are you gonna raise
our rent?

We can't pay it.

Oh, too bad.

Here's your eviction notice.

Eviction.
You're throwing us out?

No, you can't do it.

Do you have a lease?

No, we rent month to month.

And the end of the week
is the end of the month.

Goodbye, troublemakers.

[All chattering]

Hold it! Hold it!

Does anybody else
want their place

Turned into
a nice luxury apartment?

Oh, no, no, no.

Good! Good!

And good day.

Is raj still in the bathroom?

Yeah.

More pancakes, shirley!

My. When you guys move in,
you really move in.

Have you seen my books?

No.

Raj, get out
of the bathroom!

[Raj]
I'll be right down!
I'm shaving!

10 Seconds and I'm
gonna knock that door down!

More pancakes, shirley!

Hmm. You want more pancakes?

Then I'll give
you more pancakes.

Shirley, what am I supposed
to do with this?

The recipe's on the box.

'Cause this cook is off duty.

Shirley,
I guess it's just as well.

All this moving
and apartment huntin'

Has got me too upset to eat.

Rerun, you've already put away
a dozen pancakes.

Not to mention
2 cantaloupes,

3 Helpings of scrambled eggs
and 6 pieces of toast.

Now you wasn't that upset
when you ate all that.

Shirley, I said I was upset,
not unconscious.

Hey, well,
just look at this place.

Oh, what a mess!

I mean, rerun, you didn't even
put up your bed.

I'm sorry, shirley.
I'm just too tired.

I didn't sleep
at all last night.

This lumpy couch just did
terrible things to my body.

Don't hand me that, fool.

You came in with that body.

Hey, hey, raj,
is there any good apartments

Listed in the classifieds?

Oh, there are plenty, shirley,
but they're too expensive.

Well, hey, listen,
just sit down and relax.

And I'll fix you
a nice breakfast.

Oh, no.

I mean, for you, I'll cook.

Oh, no, shirley,
I really got to go.

We got to, uh,
find these places to live.

Come on, rerun,
we gotta go out

And find a place to live.
We got 6 places to check out.

Let's move it.

We gotta go,
gotta go, gotta go!

It's all yours.

I'm out, I'm out, I'm out.

Come on, rerun,
we got a big day ahead of us.

Now come on.

Hey, shirley,
I'm sorry about the stuff
on the floor.

We'll get it
when we come back.

It's all right, just go ahead.
I'll fix it.

Shirley, would you mind
puttin' up my bedding for me?

Yeah, you know, uh,
while you're at it,

These pants right here
need pressing, shirley.

Oh, yeah, and, uh,
this shirt right here,

It was in the box over here,
it needs
a couple of buttons.

Oh, one--
one other-- one other thing,

Shirley, my socks here
got a hole in 'em.

And, you know, my extra beret
needs blocking.

Oh, I'll--i'll need
a few extra pillows

And we'll be home by 6:00.

I don't wanna miss

That great, big, wonderful
dinner you gonna cook for us.

You want me to
find an apartment for you?

Oh, no, shirley, no.
Today is your day off, baby.

You stay at home and relax.

Relax, relax.

Will you look at this place?

And you know who
we owe it to? That
old turkey landlord.

I know.

He messed up raj and rerun's
lives and our house.

Yeah. Somebody oughta
tell him where to get off.

You're right, shirley.

I mean, and what about
those old fool tenants?

I mean, they just dropped
raj and rerun

Like 2 hot potatoes.

Somebody oughta
tell them off, too.

You're right, shirley.

I mean, I just,
every time I think about it,

It just steams me up.
I just get so mad.

I got a feeling there's
gonna be another meeting.

Mmm-hmm.
And it's gonna be right here,
so help me clean a path.

I mean, shirley wilson
has just elected herself

President
of the s.t.s.s. Committee.

S.t.s.s.?

Mmm-hmm.
Set them suckers straight!

No, no, there will be
no refreshments.

No ding dongs, no fig newtons,
no nothing.

I mean,
let's get back to the reason
why we're here.

Now I'm gonna say it to you
one more time.

Raj is your president.

Raj spoke up for you,
raj got evicted.

And y'all just copped out.

Now you're gonna
uncop out and do
somethin' about it.

Any questions?

Yeah?

[Speaking chinese]

Yeah? Thank you.

It's just
a little cheap something
I picked up downtown.

Look, shirley's right.

I mean,
when the guys got evicted,

We all clammed up.

We let that landlord
intimidate us.

Yeah. I mean,
you turkeys chickened out.

Oh, yes, you did.

Yeah, yeah, yeah,
you did. Mmm-hmm.

Look, we're all very sorry
about what happened.

But what do you
expect us to do?

Well now,
I'm gonna tell you.

I think you
oughta tell logan, say,

"Hey, we're not
gonna stand for that."

Oh, you can't blame us
because raj's immature.

I mean, he talked too much

And his big mouth
got him in trouble.

Now wait a minute.

That's my brother
you're talkin' about.

He got himself
thrown out of his apartment

Stickin' up for his rights
and yours.

And if that's immature

And growing up means learning
to cop out,

Then I hope
I stay a kid forever.

That's telling 'em,
little lady.

I thought you were deaf.

If anything make sense,
I can hear it.

[All]
no roger, no rerun, no rent!

No roger, no rerun, no rent!

Hold it! Hold it! Hold it!
What's goin' on out here?

Welcome to the line, turkey.

This is a rent strike.

Now roger and rerun
get back their apartment,

Or we don't pay our rent.
What?

No roger, no rerun, no rent!

No roger, no rerun, no rent!

No roger, no rerun, no rent!

No roger, no rerun, no rent!

No roger, no rerun, no rent!

Knock it off! Knock it off!

I'm trying to show
this apartment to a new tenant

Now get on out of here
and beat it!

Heck, no, we won't go!

[All]
heck, no, we won't go!

Heck, no, we won't go!

No roger, no rerun, no rent!

No roger, no rerun, no rent!

[Shushing]

Wait a minute, wait a minute!
Listen!

Let's talk about this.

There ain't nothing
you can say.

Oh, you wanna say something,
mr. Wing?

[Speaking chinese]

Uh-huh, uh-huh.

What does that mean?

No roger, no rerun, no rent.
Turkey!

No roger, no rerun, no rent!

No roger, no rerun, no rent!

Dee? Shirley? We're home.

Hey, I wonder where they are.

I sure hope we don't have
to fix our own dinner.

I'm exhausted.

Me, too.

Hey, dwayne, we really
appreciate your help.

The situation seems hopeless.

There doesn't seem
to be any apartment

We can afford.

Well, the rent on that
last one was pretty cheap.

Dwayne, would you like to live
under a bowling alley?

Sure. If I could have
the spare room.

[Laughs]

Well, tomorrow's sunday.

We just have to get up early
and try again.

Hello, everybody.

Any luck?

No.

Things don't look too good.

Hmm.

Hey, mr. President,

What happened to
all that energy,
drive and charisma

That swept you to victory
in your last election?

Oh, please, dee,

I wish I had never heard
of that tenants' committee.

Well, would it cheer
you up to know

That we found
a place for you to live?

You did?

What?
You're kidding!

Oh,
that's wonderful, shirley.

Does it look
anything like our old place?

Just like your old place.

How about the rent?

Same rent.

Nice neighborhood?

Oh, man,
you're gonna love it.

Hey, this key looks just like
our old key.

Yeah.

3-A!

It is our old key!

You mean you got us
our old apartment back?

How did you do that?

Shirley called a rent strike.

[Shirley]
yeah.

A rent strike?

What we did, we had
these signs and we said:

No roger, no rerun, no rent!

No roger, no rerun, no rent!
No roger, no rerun, no rent!

All right.

No roger, no rerun, no rent!

That is fantastic.

And--and it worked?

I mean, logan gave in, huh?

Sure did.

He really panicked.

Oh, dee, you're wonderful.

Thanks, shirley.

No, watch it now.

You're wonderful,
too, shirley. Wonderful.

What do you say, raj?
Let's pack.

You bet.

Yeah, it's good to be back
in our old place again,

Huh, rerun?

Yeah, shirley must really
have terrified that landlord.

Looks like
he fixed everything.

Mmm-hmm.

Beautiful.

Hey, raj,

Where did we have
this calendar hanging?

Uh, by the spice rack,
remember?

Sure, I'm gonna put it
right back in the same place.

Yeah, there's
the old nail hole.

♪[music playing]

Welcome home.