Vamp (1986)

[bunniefuu]

[ Stretching sound ]

???? [ Chorus chanting
in latin ]

Welcome to
your worst nightmare.

[ Chuckling ]
you are about to make
the ultimate sacrifice;

The supreme test
of immortality;

A rope--
[ Recording warbling,
indistinct ]

Now--
[ High-Pitched ] now !

[ Whispering ]
look out ! Look out !

[ Garbled voice continues ]
uh-Oh.

[ In normal voice ]
uh, the supreme sacrifice...

[ Man ]
cut !
Will take place--

Stop. Time out.

I'd rather hang than listen
to this again, you know ?
Come on.

I mean, this isn't a frat house.
It's a halfway house for morons.

The spooky costumes
and the phony hangings--

- Guys, gimme a break.
- Silence, pledge.

The emma dipsa phi
initiation has just begun.

Oh, i get it.
You're trying to
bore us to dea--

- They're trying to bore us
to death. It's working.
- Oh, yeah.

I asked you guys to be
careful with my clothes.
Now, who wrinkled my shirt ?

- [ Chattering ]
- [ Muffled ]
it wasn't me !

We've misjudged you two.
You're obviously not
dipsa phi material.

No. You know, i think
it's keith and i who seem
to be mistaken here.

Am i right ?
Oh, yeah.
Fooled completely.

We were under the impression
that this wasthehouse
on campus !

But if you're the kind
of organization...

That'll take any dickhead
who will jump off a stool
with a noose around his neck--

Guys ! Obviously,
you don't see the advantages
of your position.

What advantages ?

You have something we want.

Plus, your accommodations,
cable television,
accommodations. Cable !

Continental cuisine--
Food.

Instead of making us go through
these stupid, immature-- What's
the word i'm looking for ?

Asinine.
Asinine tests-- Which
we find incredibly boring--

Wouldn't it be much more
to your advantage...

To take this situation...

And get something
for yourselves ?

[ Laughing ]
y-Yes ! You got a big party
tonight, right ?

And for this party,
you're definitely
gonna need party--

Stuff. Booze. Tunes.
Stuff. You're gonna need
booze, tunes, entertainment.

Booze is easy.
We provide it.

Anything at all.
Anything you need,
and we're in.

- Anything ?
- Excuse us. One second.
Come here.

Listen, a.J.
I'm really excited about
the way this is going.

I'm a little concerned
with this "anything" part.

Couldn't you have said,
"a thing," or "something" ?

Keith, keith, keith !

Relax, will ya ?
These guys are
operating on empty.

I'll take care of this.
Trust me.

A stripper.
And by tonight.

This is great.
I can't wait to see you
get us out of this one.

After all these years,
you don't trust me ?

The truth ?
No, lie to me.

Yeah. I trust ya.

Yeah. Yeah,
just one number.

That's it.
I know you're a dancer,
professionally-Trained,

And i wa--
I was just thinking...

How interesting it would be
to do it with your clothes off.

[ Dial tone ]

You're doing well,
you know that ?

- Bear with me here.
-[ Dialing phone ]

Hey, sandy.
How are ya doin' ?

Yeah, this is a.J.

Oh, so you heard ?

It'll only take
five minutes.

Come on.
I'd do it for you.

[ Line clicks,
dial tone ]

[ Receiver banging ]
field trip.

- We'll hire ourselves a pro.
- Great ! Call me
when you get back.

How much money have you got ?
A.J.,
they're not worth it.

They ?
I could care less
about those wimps.

It's their frat house.
What a place
to operate from !

Aw, come on.
You're givin' me
a headache.

We're 200 miles
from civilization.
We got no money...

And no way to get there--
Tell me the dipsa phi house
is worth this aggravation.

I got 82 bucks.
Right.

Together, we total 168.
That and a little charm...

Should get us a stripper
and one deadly number.

Now all we need
are some wheels.
[ Sighs ]

[ Together ]
duncan.

Duncan spriggs unleashes
a monstrous drive, right down
the center of the fairway.

It's a beauty. Once again,
an amazing performance...

-By--
- Hi there.
You have a car, right ?

Uh, i have--
Listen, i'll pay
for the damages.

I shouldn't have parked there
anyway, i know that.
[ Chuckles uncomfortably ]

What car was it anyway ?
No, no, you see ?
Weneed a car.

Yeah, we're taking
a little trip, and we'd
like to work out a deal...

For some transportation.
Oh !

[ Buzzer sounding ]

Hey, guys ! Guys, hey,
where are you goin' ?

Hey, i ordered some pizza !
[ Man ] i'm a vegetarian.

Hey, wait just a--
I'm buying !
Your russian lit essay.

Oh, great. Uh,
listen, uh--

Anytime you want
to catch a movie, you just
give me a buzz, all right ?

Just give me a buzz !
[ Man ] buzz this, huh ?

[ Laughs ]
it'll be a pleasure
helping you guys out.

Can i call you "guys" ?
Great. [ Chuckles ]

Aw, come on.
Sit down. Relax.
Kick back, dudes.

You know, i mostly get
your basic dorks
hanging around here.

They seem to gravitate
towards me.
I don't know why !

Yeah. Yeah.

I'm surprised.
I haven't seen you two
up here...

At dunc's place before.
[ Chuckles ]

This place is
usually swinging.

You ought to
pop up sometime.

Come on, fellas. Eat.
Mangia', mangia'. Eat.

So.
Takin' a trip, huh ?

Need a rod, huh ?

You're in luck.

One left.

Now, normally i charge
the average shmo--
Wait, wait, wait, wait.

Charge ?
Yeah, we were
thinking something
more along the lines...

Of a favor,
to be returned.

Of course.
That's new.

[ Stammers ]
i like that !

One hand washes
the other, right ?
Right ! Yeah !

Now, if there's anything--
If there wassomething
that we could do for you.

I already know.
Be my friends.

Take me with you.

Oh--
[ Both speaking together ]

All right. For a week.
Take me with you and be
my friends for a week.

- [ Both hemming and hawing ]
- All right !

Take me with you
and just pretend to be
my friends for a week.

This is fantastic !
Hey, guys, i'm psyched.
Let's party.

Hey, where are we going ?
Ah, doesn't matter.

What counts is that
you're my buddies.

For a week.

???? [ Imitating instrumental
rock 'n' roll ]

[ A.J., keith ]
?? You think i'm cute ??

?? A little bit shy ??

Uh--
?? Doctor, doctor
give me the news ??

?? I got a bad case
of lovin' you ??

?? No pills ??
[ Together ]
?? Shake my fills ??

?? [ Continue ]
"tallywhackers." "G-Spot."
Hey, guys ! "Boob-O-Rama !"

Hey, "strip search."
?? I got it bad ??

"Meat rack." "Lido lounge !"

Let me have this.

Hey !
This is the one, right here.
I can feel it.

"The after dark club.
Hottest acts anywhere."

Guys, it sounds classy.
Think we should have called
for reservations ?

I'm ready.

[ A.J. ]
Weareready.
[ Laughs ]

[ Peddler hawking,
indistinct ]

Twelve for a dollar-Fifty.
Socks, six for a dollar.
Twelve for a dollar-Fifty.

Socks !

A.J. Watch--
Whoa !

[ Keith screaming,
tires squealing ]

[ Tires squeaking,
radio stations being tuned ]

[ Radio voices chattering ]
[ duncan ]
guys !

[ Motor running,
wind whistling ]

Uh, you get the feeling
we're not in kansas anymore ?

[ Slamming ]

Well, the guy says
it's just down the street.

But the ad says
that the club won't open
until after dark.

Don't know what the hell
that means.

Well, it's dark.
Yeah, but is it
"after dark" ?

No, but i definitely
think it's dark.

But it might have
just turned dark.

How are you supposed to know
the exact moment it's dark ?
If we knew that,

We'd wait a few seconds, and it
would be "after dark," right ?
So when's that ?

I don't know.
[ Keith ] but you know
what i'm saying.

"After dark"
could mean morning.

Am i making sense ?
No.

Um, hurry it up.
It's closing time.

Okay. Yo, dunc !
Hey, let's go !

I'm going
as fast as i can.

I just closed.

You just opened.
Again.

Coffees.
Six cups.

To go.

[ Liquid pouring ]

- Don't do that.
- Shh.

I'm not kidding.

[ Choking, spitting ]

Branch. Snow !

[ Coughing ]
a.J., help me.

[ Sniffs ]
nope.

You see something funny ?

I think
this is serious.

A.J., i live,
you die.

I think i'm gonna
let maven there cut
one of your ba*ls off.

[ Clicking ]

Uh, whoo-Ee.
Looks like it'll be...

Another hour or so
on these toilets.

These pipes are tough.
So, if you 'scuse me,
i'll get back to work.

[ Toilet flushing ]

[ A.J. ]
Yeah, i definitely think
it's after dark now.

Snow.

I'm a.J.

Come on. All this over
three lousy teeth ?

Who spoke to you ?

Uh-Oh.

[ Screams ]
no-O !

- [ Groans ]
-[ Woman ] stop !

Drop the knife, snowflake,
or you'll be picking these up
off the floor.

[ Grunts ]
[ screams ]

?? Volare ??

?? Oh-Oh, oh-Oh ??
Hey, duncan.

If you've finished
with those toilet seats--
?? Cantare ??

?? Whoa-h*, h*-h* ??
[ Women ]
?? Oh-Oh, oh-Oh, oh-Oh ??

Lucky they didn't try
the bathrooms.

I was ready.
What i would have done
to them--

- [ Imitating terror ]
- [ Screaming ]

?? We can sing in the glow
of a star that i know of ??

?? Where lovers enjoy
peace of mind ??

?? Let us leave the confusion
and all disillusion behind ??

[ Girl chorus ]
?? Yeah, yeah, yeah
all behind ????

Hey, messin' with
my buddies, huh ? Wham.
Right in thetzhatzhkehs.

Hey, one guy takes on
the three of us.
[ Chuckles ]

Hey ! Maybe we ought to
wait and see if you want
to go another round !

How about that, bernie,
huh ? What's--

Dunc, they ordered
six coffees.

Okay, so it's not
caesar's palace.

[ Sighs ]
let's get this
over with quick.

?? I'm in the mood
for love ??

?? Simply because
they're naked ??

Guys, i'm on a roll tonight.
And when that happens,

I attract women
like flies.
[ Chuckles suavely ]

Even.
[ Whispers ]
sh*t.

?? Only because
they're naked ??
I'll see you in a few.

Uh-Huh.
?? I'm in the mood
for love ??

Hey-- Wait a minute.
Wait a-- Wh-- Where--

I thought--
We gotta be
gettin' back soon.

A.J.'S gonna take care
of everything, okay ?

Wait a minute.
This isn't fair !

We come out here,
and i don't even
get a chance to watch ?

I should have a say
in the selection.

You can interview her
in the car.

Uh-Uh. No way.
One for all,
and all inside, i say.

Ta-Ta !
Duncan, don't do that.

Six coffees.

?? I'm in the mood
for love ??
[ Lock rattling ]

?? Simply because
they're naked ????
???? [ Rock drums ]

???? [ Guitar ]

How are ya doin',
boys ?

Could i see
your i.D. ?

Good.
Good enough !

Perfect.

Go ahead.

[ Male singer ]
?? See him talkin' to a lady ??

Bar or table ?

Ringside.
[ Clears throat ]

???? [ Continues, indistinct ]
thank you. Sir.

?? You remember when he said ??

?? You're the only girl
i need ??

?? And now the words they sting
and the harm they bring ??

???? [ Continues,
indistinct ]

[ Chorus ]
?? This just is like a knife
right in the back ??

Oi, vai.
?? Now that you were caught ??

?? In a jealous trap ??

?? These words are ringin'
right through the dark ??

?? Of your suspicious mind
and jealous heart ??

?? Lipstick on his collar ??

-?? Perfume in his hand ??
- [ Chuckling ] hey, blondie.

?? And when he came home
last night ??

?? He was sneakin'
up the stairs ??

?? 'Cause he's the only boy ??

?? Your body wants to know ??
Hit 'em.

?? And is it worth the pain
to hide the shame ??

?? Or better to let her go ??

[ Chorus ]
?? This just is like
a knife right in the back ??

?? Now that you are caught
in a jealous trap ??

Over here.
?? These words are ringin'
right through the dark ??

?? Of your suspicious mind
and jealous heart ??

?? These words are ringin'
right through the dark ??

?? Of your suspicious mind
and jealous heart ??

?? Whoa ??
[ No audible dialogue ]

???? [ Guitar ]

You don't remember me,
do you ?

[ Giggles ]
it has been a long time,
but i remember you.

I'm "amaretto"--
[ Whispers ]
not really--

And i will be
your waitress for
this evening, guys.

So, what can
i get for ya, huh ?

I would like
a slow, comfortable screw.

A beer.
And one for my buddy...

For a week.

I know i gotta get it fixed.
It drives me crazy.

Drivesyoucrazy ?

You don't remember that ?
I'm gonna remember that
for the rest of my life.

[ Male singer ]
?? Ooh, ooh-Ooh ??

???? [ Continues, indistinct ]

[ Man ]
good !

Builder of major erections,
our construction engineer,

Hard-Hatted hannah !

Come on.
Let's hear it.

You have any friends
that wanna rememberme?

Nah, i didn't think so.

[ Softly ]
gentlemen.

I give you...
katrina.

???? [ Drum machine,
rock ]

[ Man ]
?? Hey ??

?? Hey, hey ??

???? [ Drums, synthesizer
continue ]

???? [ Voices, indistinct ]

Wait till those wimps
at dipsa phi see this.

???? [ Fades ]

[ Complete silence ]

[ Man ]
i loved it !
Yeah !

[ Mouthing words ]

[ Man ] what was it ?

-[ Man #2 ] whatever it was,
i love it !
- She-- She's ju--

[ Men continue chattering ]

Yes !
He scores !

[ Imitates crowd cheering ]

[ A.J. ]
I love the show, girls.

It's brilliant.
Very tastefully done.

Come on !

[ Men yelling approval ]

[ Emcee on p.A. ]
All right, gentlemen.
You're in for a treat.

She melts in your mouth,
she melts in your hands:

Sweet, sweet candi.

Hello ?

Hello ?

[ Tapping on glass ]

[ Gasps ]

Katrina.
You scared me.

Uh, nice hair !
[ Chuckles ]

[ Exhales ]
yeah. I, uh--

I caught your act
out there. Ooh !
Some show.

[ Inhales deeply ]
very... new.

Very... now.

Uh--
[ Clears throat ]

Anyway, i was wonderin'
maybe later tonight,

If you're interested
in doing a little
encore performance--

For a much more
appreciative audience.

I could definitely
make it worth your while.

Yes, i could.

And i'd be willing
to pay you top dollar.

'Cause i can see that
you're a professional.

And i like working
with professionals.

[ Breathing heavily ]
and i likeyou.

I can see
you like me too.

Whoa.

Wow.

[ Panting,
sighing deeply ]

Ooh.
[ Chuckles ]

Allow me.

Oh !
Oh.

[ Moaning ]

[ Grunting ]
like to play rough, huh ?

[ Nibbling, licking ]

[ Grunting ]

- [ Screaming ]
- [ Screaming ]

[ Growling ]
[ groaning ]

[ Growling continues ]

[ Screaming, laughing ]

[ Applauding ]

I'll be back.

[ Applause dwindles ]

[ Faucet running ]

[ Urinal flushing ]

[ Men chattering ]

[ Emcee ]
anybody want to
claim this lush ?

I'm trying to run
a respectable joint here,
gentlemen.

Going once. Twice.
[ Man ]
keep him.

He's alone.
Clean this mess up.

[ Man ]
hey, it's show time.
What's happenin' here ?

I wanna see
a girl up there !

And now:
she's not much upstairs,

But what a staircase !

Gentlemen, the fabulous
dominique !

[ Crunching ]
come here.

Class.

[ Crunching ]

sh*t !

That's it.
We're out of here.

Oh, excuse me.
Could you go backstage...

And tell my friend that
his buddy is waiting ?

It's time to go now.
[ Chuckles ]
i see no friends.

Uh, yeah, yeah.
You took him backstage.

Uh, he's tall,
dark-Haired.
Gray jacket on.

I take no one back.

I--
[ Clears throat ]
excuse me.

Aren't we fickle ?

[ Sighs ]
did you ever have
one of those nights ?

There's a problem.
He was not alone.

He has a friend.
He's downstairs talking
with the new girl.

I think there's
another one of them.

That's it. One number
to get into a frat.

Except now i don't care.
All i wanna do is find a.J.
And get back--

A.J. ? Not mr. Dynamite !
You guys still hangin' out ?

I knew it, yep.
Come on. I'll bet you
he'll remember me.

Hey, you see a guy
come back here ?

Welcome to bow-Wow city.

Hey, you guys see a guy
come back here ?
Tall, good-Looking--

You see a guy come back here ?
No guy came back here.

No guy came back ?
No, he came back. One of
the girls brought him.

Her.
You ! I remember now.
So sorry.

Your friend wanted
to see katrina. I tell him
no one see katrina.

He didn't have much of
a chance with her. Katrina
owns this dive, sweetheart.

After that--
Are you saying that
you didn't see what happened ?

Wait !

Where's candi ?
She's half-Shift tonight.

Mm-Hmm.
I'm afraid a.J. Has
decided to hold auditions.

No, he wouldn't
just leave.

Not even with a girl
who will melt in your mouth
and in your hands ?

Yeah, he'd leave.
I'm gonna kick his--
But wait !

W-What a coincidence.
It's time for my break,

And i have to go over
by the hotel and pick up
a change of tops.

Some of the girls stay there.
I bet if we hurry,
we can catch a.J.

I'll meet you
at the side entrance
in two minutes, okay ?

Excuse you !

You wanna find
a.J., right ?
[ Stammering ] right.

Well, then go !

[ Emcee ]
she'll use you,
she'll abuse you.

She'll whip you guys
into shape.

Cimmarron !

[ Whip cracking ]
?? And the meaning of love ??

?? And the meaning of love ??

?? And the meaning of love
and the meaning of love ??

[ Whip cracking ]

???? [ Continues, indistinct ]

[ Banging ]

[ Gears grinding ]

[ Engine shutting off ]

-[ Door closing ]
- [ Mumbling ]

Don't !
Aren't we jumpy tonight ?

[ Gears grinding ]

This is really weird.
It's like a reunion
or something.

Yeah, i wish
i knew with who.

When the time is right,
i promise i'll tell you.

He's on his way.
Don't screw up.

You got it ?
All right.

Okay, you're dying
to ask me.

What ?
Why i strip.

No, i wasn't.
I wasn't going to ask you.
Yes, you are.

Why not ?
It's none
of my business.

It's nothing to be
ashamed of, really.
It's natural curiosity.

The club's not
a permanent stop,
if that's what you think.

I mean, it's easy
to get, it's loose,
i can express myself--

And that is really important,
because i'm still trying
to find my purpose in life.

Know what i mean ?
God knows i've looked.

Tried the acting thing
for a while--
What a trip.

I was onthe love connection.
I got picked !

Oh, god.
That's so sad.

Little girl,
where's your mommy ?

Parents like that
should be shot.

You screwed up.
You're sushi, baby.

He was so beautiful.
I was sure you would like him.

You knew the rules.
She knows the rules !

Only the transients,
the loners, the strays.

The ones that
can't be traced !

He said he was alone,
that he was just
passing through.

He fit the profile.
Ha !

He was a gift.
Nice gift.

I'm gonna have to k*ll
'em both. Don't worry.
I'll take care of it.

You're not gonna
punish her ?

If it were me--

Look, if i had some power--
All right !
[ Snarling ]

All right.

If we had just moved
the whole operation to vegas,
like i suggested--

Thank you.
I am loyal to you
forever.

- I will be more care--
- [ Screaming ]

Well, i...

Guess vegas is out.

[ Laughing ]

[ Clears throat ]
ex-Cuse me.

[ Grumbling ]
twenty dollars
a half hour.

I'm from the club, remember ?
I checked in this afternoon ?

I'd like the key
to 1311, please.
[ Giggles ]

Thank you !

Oh, could you please
ring candi ? You know,
the redhead ?

[ Switchboard phone
buzzing ]

Ah.
It's busy.

But you can go up
if you like.

Room 1309.

[ Footsteps receding ]

[ Elevator bell dings ]

[ Gasps ]
???? [ Muzak ]

Thirteen, please.
???? [ Humming ]

[ Restraining laughter ]

]
[ Both giggling ]
???? [ Continues humming

[ Bell dinging ]

- Wait !
- [ Door sliding shut ]

[ Clicking,
no bell ringing ]

[ Clicks ]

[ Woman, screaming ]

[ Man ] you're not the
same woman. You're sleepin'
all day, you're up all night.

[ Woman ]
i can do what i want !

[ Voices fading ]

[ Bell dinging,
elevator doors opening ]

???? [ Muzak resumes ]

[ Grunts ]
jeez. Uhh !

[ Groaning, creaking noise ]

[ Electric motor whirring ]

[ Motor grinding
to a stop ]

[ Panting ]
jesus christ.

Ah. f*ck. Jeez.

[ Door opens, closes ]

[ Exasperated sigh ]

We should heard
something by now.

I don't like it.

If something goes wrong,
that queen b*tch is
gonna chewmyass out.

Vlad, give it up.

There's nothin' goin' on
between you and her anymore.

All you are to her
is a quick fix.

[ Snarls ferociously ]
hey, but
what do i know ?

-Hey !
- There you are.
What happened ?

They told me you left.
A.J.
Did you find him ?

No. God, you look awful.
What happened to you ?

The girl.
What did she say ?

Well, it's weird.
I went to her apartment.
It was like no one lived there.

Empty.
Just some garment bags.
What are you so testy about ?

"Testy" ?
You want to know
why i'm testy ?

I'll tell you why i'm testy.
Today, i was nearly hung.

I got into a fight
with a psychotic albino.

I met a human pincushion
in the bathroom.

I ate a c*ck,
my best friend disappears,

And then
i'm nearly assassinated
by a runaway elevator.

I've had a bad day.

All i want to do
is find a.J. And
get back to school.

- Is that too much to ask ?
- Well, no. But i don't see
what the big hurry is.

- He'll probably show up.
- Listen. Where else
would a girl like...

Candi take a.J. ?

Uh-Huh. You mean
a girl like me,
don't you ?

Just go ahead and say it.
I was only trying
to be helpful.

I thought it would be
kind of nice if you and me
spent some time--

[ Tearfully ]
oh, screw it.

If you knew me
a little better--

I don't know you at all !
And that's another thing.
How comeiremember you...

So well, and you--

Obviously our moment together
wasn't as important to you
as it was to me.

What moment ?
Look--

Oh, look yourself !

???? [ Pop ]
[ chattering ]

I love you !

No, i loveyou !

Say, babe, what time
do you get off ?


Can i watch ?
[ Laughs raucously ]

???? [ Woman singing,
indistinct ]

All right !
Anybody want
to claim this lush ?

Going once.
Going twice.

[ Car door closes ]

We've been
lookin' for ya !

Hey, snowball.
How they hangin' ?

- sh*t.
- Come on !

[ Tires screeching ]

-Hey, what's that ?
- Nothing.

[ Shouting, indistinct ]

[ Searchers chattering ]

[ Clattering ]

[ Softer clattering ]

Hello, baby !

Gotcha now.

-[ Manhole cover scraping ]
- [ Chuckles evilly ]

[ Man ]
come on, boy. Don't you
want to join the party ?

[ Woman laughing ]

[ Laughing ]
come on, boy !

Come on !
You better get
used to it, scumbag.

All this for
a f*cking fraternity.

[ Taunting continues,
indistinct ]

Psst ! Psst !

Psst. Psst.

[ Chuckling ]

Well, now, where's
your mama, little girl ?

[ Chomping ]
[ screaming ]
f*ck !

[ Girl growling,
man groaning ]

[ Man screaming ]

[ Man groaning ]

Jeez.

[ Rat squeaking ]

Uh, hey !
I found my friend.

[ Maniacal laughing,
rat squeaking ]

[ Manhole cover
sliding back on ]

[ Grunts ]
snow !
There he is !

sh*t !

[ Man ]
hey ! Over here !

[ Car departing ]

A.J. !
[ Gasping ]

[ Stammering ]

Hey ! Stop !
Help !

Wait !

Stop !

Wait a minute !

[ Neon light buzzing ]

Come on.
Emergency operator.
May i help you ?

I'll take care of the cops.

I-I'll tell 'em a story,
like i always do.

They won't follow up.
They don't care...

What happens down here.

Have you given
any more thought
to my idea ?

A club.

In vegas.
New blood ?

[ Chuckling ]
"new blood" ?

See, they're all...
tourists.

I-I hear that clubs
are very hot right now
in vegas.

We'll do very nicely.

All right, all right.
I'll do something.
Vlad !

Bring the trash
back in here.

This is
a nasty habit.

Nasty.

[ Sucking, licking ]

???? [ Rock ]
hey, bud.
Where ya been ?

I've been making
some progress.
The police.

Did they get here yet ?

Jesus christ.
A.J.'S dead.

Stay here.

?? Baby, now, roll on
past my window ??

[ Bathroom door
opens, closes ]

[ Stall door banging ]

[ Footsteps ]

[ Door banging ]

[ Footsteps ]

- [ Knocking ]
- It's occupied.

There's somebody in--

Wh-Wha--

Relax, will you ?
It was just a joke.

I thought you--

You as*h*le !

You scared the sh*t
out of me,
you know that, huh ?

Relax, will you ?
Relax ?

You were dead.
You were in a dumpster.

I thought that snowflake
had k*lled you.

Hey, i was rolled.

Anyone could have
an off night.

Off night ?

We're out of here.
You.

There's some...
uniformed gentlemen
in the back to see you.

Look, i-I found
my friend.

Yeah ?

But he--
[ Sighs ]

Well, helookeddead
anyway.

He looks real dead
to me.
It was in the garbage--

Your friend here
apparently likes to
flash his money around.

In this neighborhood,
that makes him a meal ticket.

Hey, tell me about it.
Iama meal ticket.
I should know.

Look, i just--
No, you look.

Now my stomach's all upset,
thanks to you and
your dead friend here.

This is not a nice area,
and i don't like
coming to it,

So before i lock you up,
i want all three of you
out of here.

Go home.
I've been trying
to do that for the past--

Now.

Officer, why don't i
escort you out
personally ?

I know you like to catch
the last act, am i right ?

Hey, guys, if you don't mind,
i'm going to catch the last act.

Okay. We'll see you
out there in a few minutes,
buddy.

And i promise you'll
never see us in this
neighborhood again, officer.

[ Door closes ]
i'm pissed at you.

Mmm. They treat you
real good here.

Looks like we can
forget about the fraternity.

Why don't we just
go back home, okay ?

What's the rush ?
A.J., gimme a break,
will ya ?

Would you
calm my friend down
here, please ?

I've been telling him
for years to relax.

I'm fine, i'm fine.
Let's just get out of here.
Please.

That's not fair.

Come on.

[ Hissing ]

- Wait !
- [ Growls ]

[ Screaming ]

I didn't think
you had it in you.

Yeah. Looks like you
discovered the only way
out of here, pal.

What the hell you
talkin' about ?

The club,
everyone here, man,
they're vampires.

Can't let you leave.

We got a problem here.

Yeah ?
Why don't we go home ?

We'll call a doctor
or something.

[ Laughing ]
you don't get it, do you ?

Home is a million miles
away from me now.

Home's another planet.
[ Groaning ]

I'm a f*ck' zombie now !

I mean, look at me.

Watch out, man !

You wanna know
how bad things are ?

I love you, keith,

But all i can see
right now is food,

And i'm starving.

You're carrying
my next meal around
with you in your veins.

They got me.
They got me real good.

Okay, why don't you take
what you need for now ?

You know, to get you through.

[ Laughing ]
that's too much.
And you're so nice.

Do i look like
a mosquito ? No.

I can't be trusted,
buddy.

Will you look at
my clothes ?
They're ruined.

Do i look real bad ?
You know, it's just like
the movies.

[ Chuckles ]
you can't see yourself.

There's no reflection.

It's weird.

?? No pill's gonna
cure my ills ????

Jesus. You're really
gonna do it, aren't you ?

You're gonna k*ll me.

A.J., do me a favor, huh ?

For old time's sake ?
Sure, buddy. Anything.

Anything at all.

No. Not anything.
Just one thing.

Make sure i don't
come back like you, okay ?

Hey, you think i like this ?

Or them ?
They're boring creeps.

They don't call 'em
"walking dead"
for nothing !

Try talking to one of them
sometime.

I am.

Come on, man.

Just take me out.

Just k*ll me.
I can't go on like this.

A.J., i--
Come on !

sh*t !

You can't, can you ?

Even though you know
it works, you can't !

It does work, you know.
The fire, the wooden stakes,
the sunlight.

Got a list right here
somewhere.

You're ready to die
for me, aren't you ?

You would 'cause
you can't believe that
i'm not me anymore,

That maybe there's
something left, huh ?

Jesus christ.
Maybe there is.

Nah.
[ Groaning ]

Sorry, pal.

[ Groans ]

Now get lost fast.

Go on !

And remember, you can burn 'em
or keep 'em from their coffins
past sunrise.

I think you know the other one.

[ Groans ]

[ Gasps ]

????
[ Vic ]
last call, gentlemen.
Last call.

Hope you enjoyed
the show.

Don't forget our
single man's special:

All you can drink
for a dollar.

Come alone,
you drink yourselves
into another world.

[ Woman ]
?? I know a lot about
the world outside ??

?? It's not too safe
so i usually hide ??

Hey !
We're leaving.

That's not fair.
I only had to
promise her $50.

Now. I'll explain later.

Guys !

Excuse me, there seems
to be a little problem
with your bill.

When the place clears out,
why don't you and me
go in the back...

And handle it personally ?

Hey, call the police !
These people,
they're all vampires !

Eat sh*t and bark at the moon.
That doesn't make 'em
bad people.

Listen,
a.J.'S dead.
Again ?

Vampires ! Vampires.
[ Laughing ]

You don't think
you're gonna get away
with this, do you ?

Of course. You know how many
people disappear off the face
of the earth every year ?

Not thousands.
Tens of thousands.
You're a statistic, kid.

Why us ?
Why'd you pick on us ?
It was a mistake.

Okay ? There was
a little error there.

A little communication
error. I'm sorry.

We'll be missed.
They're gonna come
looking for us.
Who ?

Who'd you tell that
you were comin' here ?

Nobody tells anybody
when they come
to a joint like this.

Quite a racket, huh ?

You see, i'm runnin'
a central service here.

Waste disposal.
Oh, yeah.

Look around.
Look who comes here:

The sickies,
the degenerates,
the forlorn, the lost,

The lowlifes,
the f*ck' dregs
of humanity wind up here,

And we take care of 'em.

It costs you nothing.

Yeah, just my best friend.

Hey, nobody's perfect,
okay ?

I do the best i can
with what i got.

Your self-Pity
makes me sick.

You know that ?

Listen, kid,
i used to own this club.

You know who worked here ?
Louis prima. Buddy greco.

Phil harris. Class.

Wait a second.
Where are you going ?

What are you trying to do,
get outta here ?

Why ? There's
more of us out there.

Oh, yeah.
So where you goin' ?

Here, there.

We're everywhere.

Can i ask you somethin' ?
You ever been to vegas ?

Hey, how about you
buying me and my friends
a last round ?

Kind of a last request,
like they do in vegas.

They do that in vegas ?

Whoa. That's classy.
Now, that's classy.

Sure.
Uh, excuse me.

Would you give
this gentleman
whatever he wants ?

Give me a brandy.
Make it three.

Make 'em doubles.
[ Bottle clinks ]

Triples.

Hell, leave the whole bottle
when you're done.

I'm not drivin' anywhere.

Spill these
all over the place.

Oops ! Oh, i'm sorry.
Excuse me.

Duncan, have a drink.

To vegas. Oh !

[ Laughing ]

- [ Screaming ]
- [ Hissing ]

Whoa !
Let me out of here !

Come on !
The trap door.

Okay, you win.
I'm gone.

[ Dings ]

What the hell
you doin' ?

The b*tch owed me money.

This way.

[ Louis prima ]
?? Old black magic
has me in its spell ??

[ Vic ]
i would loved
to have seen vegas.

Once.

Just once.

???? [ Jazz continues ]

Ah...

My first drink...
in 75 years.

Vlad,

To the good ol' days.

?? Aflame
burnin' desire ??
?? That only your kiss ??

?? Put out the fire ????

[ Engine starting ]

[ Tires screeching ]

- [ Engine revs ]
- sh*t.

[ Tires screeching ]

Guys ?

[ Duncan groans ]
how you doin'
back there, dunc ?

I'm hungry.

He's okay.

No. I mean i'm starvin'.

Yeah, well, we'll
order some pizza when
we get back to school,

If that's okay with y--

[ Groaning ]

[ Chuckles ]

[ Screaming ]

Guys !

Guys !

W-W-Wait, wait.

Move.

Looks like we're not
the first ones to be
midnight shopping.

It was already bent.

Find some b*ll*ts.

Will this help ?

You got a*mo
with that ?
You mean b*ll*ts ? No.

Hey, where'd you get that ?
Get back.

I'm good with this,
believe me.

Look. No fangs.
Come on.

- Who are you ?
- I-I-I, um--

Your name.
Tell me your real name.

Um, i, uh--
This isn't exactly
the time i had in mind.

I thought maybe--

Did you actually think
i could've been one of those ?
I-- I--

No.

This way.

Yeah ! We're saved !
Thank god for mass transit.
Come on.

Last stop.
[ Cackling ]
i don't believe this sh*t !

Talk about timing.
Come on !

What g*ng is this ?

Wait.

Come on. Help me.

Keith ? It's time.

What ?
My name.

I'm allison.
I'm allison hicks.
Remember ?

Seaside heights,
summer vacation,
fifth grade.

We were in
sue leonard's basement.

We were playing spin the bottle,
and i spun and it landed
on moose,

And you kinda
pushed the bottle
and i didn't have to kiss him.

I ended up kissing you.
Remember now ?

Yeah. You have
incredible timing.
Thanks.

[ Metal clanks ]

You sure it's safe
down here ?

Trust me.
This is an abandoned system.

Been here before.

[ Distant footsteps ]

What was that ?

Probably just a wino
or something.

In high heels ?

[ Footsteps continue ]

Come on.

[ Footsteps ]

Here.

Come on.

I have matches here
somewhere.
Don't.

I smell something.
[ Sniffs ]

[ Gasps ]

I think we should leave.
This is not
a very good idea.

[ Door opens,
footsteps approaching ]

[ Screams ]

Allison, the matches.

You called me allison !
The matches !

[ Screaming ]

Allison !

[ Allison ]
keith !

[ Growling ]

Go ! sh**t her !

sh**t her, please.

Now.

[ Growling ]
[ whimpering ]

Keith.

[ Screams ]

Let's go.

[ Laughing ]

- Come on !
- There's something
i gotta do first.

[ Laughing ]
[ metal clanks ]

[ Screaming ]

[ Screaming ]

Oh ! You're bleeding !
Oh, it's nothing.

Mmm. Mm-Mm.

This could get infected.
We'll have to have this
checked out.

Thanks.

Uh, hon ?
Come up here a second.
I wanna show you something.

What ?

God ! That supposed
to be funny ?

No.

[ Screams ]

You k*ll my katrina.

You both must die !

Ugh !

[ Coughing ]

Well, don't everybody
thank me all at once.

Wai-- Y-You--

Formica.
Go figure.

Hi, allison.

Relax. I'll take care
of this somehow.

This... has been
one wacky night.

You're tellin' me ?

I'm gonna need
some new clothes here.

Wait. Where you goin' ?

After all these years,
you don't trust me ?

I can handle this,
you know.

Look, there's always
night school.

Hi there.
Hi.

And jobs ? I'll--
I'll take a graveyard shift.

Yeah. That's what i'll do.

Keith ?
Relax. I'll take care
of everything.

Follow us.

I'm right below you, pal.

Hey, you guys
live in a barn or what ?

?? Volare ??

?? Whoa ??

?? Cantare ??

?? Whoa oh oh ??

?? Let's fly way up
to the clouds ??

?? Away from
the maddenin' crowds ??

?? We can sing in the glow
of a star that i know of ??

?? Where lovers enjoy
peace of mind ??

?? Let us leave the confusion
and all disillusion behind ??

?? Yeah, yeah, yeah
all behind ??

?? Just like birds of a feather
??

?? A rainbow together
we'll find ??

?? Volare ??

?? Whoa ??

?? Cantare ??

?? Whoa oh oh ??

?? No wonder
my happy heart sings ??

?? Your love
has given me wings ??

?? Volare ??
?? Yeah, yeah, yeah ??

?? Whoa ??
?? La la la la la la la ??

?? Cantare ?
?
?? Whoa whoa ??

?? Whoa oh oh ??
?? Whoa oh oh oh ??

?? Let's fly way up
to the clouds ??

?? Away from
the maddenin' crowds ??

?? We can sing in the glow
of a star that i know of ??

?? Where lovers enjoy
peace of mind ??

?? Let us leave the confusion
and all disillusion behind ??

?? Yeah, yeah, yeah
all behind ??

?? Just like birds of a feather
??

?? A rainbow together
we'll find ??

?? Volare ??

?? Whoa ??

?? Ah, cantare ??

?? Whoa oh oh ??

?? No wonder
my happy heart sings ??

?? Your love has given me
wings, little baby ??

?? Your love
has given me wings ??

?? Whoa, oh, oh, your love
has given me wings ????

???? [ Techno ]

?? I still remember ??

?? I still love ??

?? I still remember ??

?? Where i came from ??

?? Lover to lover ??

?? Baiting us on ??

?? Moment by moment ??

?? Past the dawn ??

?? I still remember ??

?? I still love ??

?? I still remember ??

?? Where i came from ??
?? Seduction surrender ??

?? Lover to lover ??

?? Turning us on ??
?? Seduction surrender ??

?? Moment by moment ??

?? Past the dawn ??
?? Seduction surrender ????