-[scary music playing]
-[people shrieking]
[in Japanese]
[upbeat music playing]
- Slashers
-[singing in Japanese]
- Slashers
-[singing in Japanese]
- Slashers
-[singing in Japanese]
- Slashers
- Super fine
[woman singing in Japanese]
Su-super su-su-su-super fine
[woman singing in Japanese]
- Slashers
-[singing in Japanese]
- Slashers
-[singing in Japanese]
- Slashers
-[singing in Japanese]
[gong clanging]
-[drum playing]
-[audience cheering]
[in Japanese]
-Slashers!
-[audience cheering]
[upbeat music playing]
[in Japanese]
[audience cheering]
[audience] Miho, Miho, Miho, Miho, Miho!
[in English] Thank you, everybody.
[in Japanese]
[in English] Now I'd like to welcome
all our viewers across North America.
Your response has been
so overwhelmingly positive
that we are finally bringing you,
after months of meticulous auditions,
what we believe to be six of the most
intriguing contestants we've ever had.
Ladies and gentlemen,
we are now extremely proud to present you
with Slashers' first
"All-American Special!"
[audience cheering]
That's right.
Six lucky Americans just like you
will now have the chance
of becoming extremely wealthy.
Because since none of our participants
walked away last week,
our jackpot
for our lucky contestants tonight
is 12 million American dollars!
[audience cheering]
With me as always,
our beautiful Slasherettes!
-[lively music playing]
-[audience cheering]
And supplying
our nerve-jangling music again
is our very talented DJ Slash!
[audience cheering, applauding]
[in Japanese]
[woman] DJ, DJ! DJ!
[in English] Super fine!
Mwah!
Now, joining us via satellite
from the great US of A
is our Slasher correspondent,
Steve Taylor.
Hello, Steve!
Konichiwa, Miho!
As you can see,
there's a lot of excitement over here,
and all across America
in millions of homes.
Every American is giving
a tremendous cheer
for their six death-defying citizens!
I'm sure they're touched, Steve,
thank you.
Arigato, Miho!
Now, before we meet our contestants,
let me refresh any new viewers
on our rules.
-Ah! There are none!
-[audience applauding]
The contestants we'll be meeting
for the first time
are free to help each other out
and share the winnings.
Or it's every man and woman to themselves,
and whoever is left standing
at the end of the show is a winner!
[audience cheering, applauding]
Now, all the preliminary legal work
has been done before the show.
And once the final verbal agreement
is given,
we can start this week's edition
of Slashers.
So prepare yourself
for the most intense show on television
and give a great big round of applause
to our first death-defying
American contestants.
[audience cheering, applauding]
Now, our first contestant
comes from New York City.
He's 29, an ex-Marine and boxer,
and all-around athlete.
Let's make him feel at home,
Slasher fans,
and welcome Devon White.
[audience cheering]
Now, Devon, tell the audience exactly
why you are willing to risk your life.
To be on TV with you, Miho.
Well, I suppose that
and the millions of dollars
have something to do with it, right?
Aren't you afraid of our slashers?
[scoffs] I can take care of myself.
-You're a brave man, Devon.
-[audience hooting]
Woo.
Now, our next contestant
is a 28-year-old computer programmer
from Chicago.
Make some noise for Michael Gibbons.
[audience cheering, applauding]
Now, Michael, what brings you here?
Money, fame?
I want it all, Miho.
Of course you do, Michael. Who doesn't?
[clears throat] Now, our next contestant
is 31 years old
and she's a fitness instructor
from Buffalo.
She is a three-time winner
of the Miss Steel Woman Competition
and a two-time Extreme Gladiator champion.
-Let's hear it for Rebecca Galley.
-[audience cheering]
Just another competition
for you to win, Rebecca?
Something like that, Miho.
Our next contestant is 32 years old
and works as a doorman
in a nightclub in Detroit.
-Please welcome Rick Fisher.
-[audience cheering]
This time it's payback!
Three slashers to be buried.
Oh, baby, have we got a show
for you tonight.
A triple slasher dare.
As we know, each contestant who survives
will split this week's
$12 million jackpot.
And for each slasher k*lled,
there is an extra bonus of $2 million.
-Bring 'em on, mask-wearing pussies.
-[audience shouting]
[clicks tongue]
Goading our slashers is very risky.
They take everything personally
and like to give it that something extra.
Which brings us
to this pretty little flower
-originally from Seattle.
-[exhales]
She's 20 years old, an exchange student,
studying law and political science
right here in Tokyo.
You have to admire her courage.
Let's give a big Slasher welcome
to Megan Lowry!
[chanting in Japanese]
[in English] Now, now, everyone,
let's be polite to our American guests.
And don't forget,
Slashers is always full of surprises.
So Megan, tell us
why you want to be on Slashers.
It's…
It's personal.
Well, maybe one of our slashers
will pry an answer out of you,
right, Slasher fans?
[audience shouting]
Now, our last but certainly
not least contestant
is from Portland.
She's 22, a model and aspiring actress.
Let's hear it for the very lovely
Brenda Thompson.
[audience cheering]
Now, I know our male audience
is already rooting for you to survive.
Hell, if you make it,
I'll ask you out for a drink myself.
[audience hooting]
Now, Brenda, why would
a pretty girl like you risk her life for?
It can't be just for money, can it?
[gasps]
I see stardom in your eyes, don't I?
[chuckles] Yeah, I just wanna say hi
to my friends back home.
Well, I'm sure they're all
rooting for you, honey.
What a great group.
And joining our contestants, once again,
as our mobile witness
through the Danger Zone
is our favorite roving cameraman, Hideo!
Hideo, aren't they one
of our most exciting groups?
[Hideo] Yes, they are, Miho,
very exciting.
And well, I hope most of them will survive
so we can go out later and celebrate.
-Especially the ladies, am I right, huh?
-[Hideo] Oh, yes!
Now, we have to take a short break,
but don't touch that remote.
When we come back, we will meet
this week's nightmare-inducing
masters of mayhem on Slashers!
[audience cheering, applauding]
[director speaking in Japanese]
[lively electronic music playing]
[in Japanese]
[in Japanese]
[Hideo speaks in Japanese]
[in Japanese]
[Hideo, in English] Nervous?
Get that f*ck' thing out of my face.
We ain't started yet.
[Hideo] You better get used to it,
handsome.
I'm here for the whole shebang,
as you say, and I sh**t everything.
Look, you stick that thing in my face
when I'm taking a piss,
and you'll spend the rest of the game
cleaning the lens off.
[Hideo speaks in Japanese]
[in Japanese]
[in English] Hey, what did you tell them?
Have a nice day.
Hey, friend, he's just doing his job.
Listen and listen good.
I ain't your friend and neither is he.
He won't f*ck' help you
when the butcher's ripping your guts out
and you're crying for your mama.
His job? [scoffs] sh*t.
[announcer] Get ready.
Back in ten, nine, eight, seven, six…
[in Japanese]
…five, four, three, two, one.
Action!
Welcome back to Slashers.
Just in time to meet
this week's masters of mayhem.
[gate rattling]
Born in a barn,
raised in a slaughterhouse,
the baron of butcherdom,
the general of gore,
the champion of chopping,
back for his tenth appearance,
let's welcome our favorite
good old inbred redneck,
Chainsaw Charlie!
-Mwah!
-[Charlie laughing]
Well, howdy, folks, how are y'all doing?
[chainsaw rumbling]
Oh, just one second,
I'll get this thing started up for you.
Just give me one more try,
I'll get this for you.
-Woo-wee hey, we got it!
-[chainsaw rumbling]
Hee-haw!
-[audience cheering]
-[chainsaw whirring]
To slice and to shred.
Oh, so many to wind up diced and dead.
Oh, yes indeedy.
That's pretty good.
Did you come up with that yourself
or did it take you two days to memorize it
once they wrote it out for you
in great big letters?
Oh, that's not nice.
Oh, no, it isn't.
Oh, but you'll be seeing Charlie soon.
Oh, yes, real soon, yes, indeedy!
Hey, think he likes you.
[audience laughing]
[Charlie laughs] Bye-bye!
-Bye-bye!
-Goodbye, Miho.
[eerie music plays]
Now, for his first Slashers appearance,
he is the cardinal of carnage,
the reverend of reaping,
the prophet of pain,
the mad monk of m*ssacre.
Let's give a big Slasher welcome
to one bad mother superior, Preacherman!
-[audience applauding]
-Mwah!
Bless you, my child.
[audience cheering, applauding]
You are all…
sinners.
Oh, yes.
[ominous music playing]
Oh, Lord!
Even though their bodies
will be mangled and soiled,
may You bless their sinful souls.
For they will soon
be at Thy divine mercy.
You, my child.
Your sins are haunting you!
They will be your undoing.
God…
in His infinite wisdom,
will act through me,
His holy servant,
and will shove this
sacred instrument of redemption
right up your sinful a*s.
Looks like you got a boyfriend
there yourself. [chuckles]
[audience cheering, applauding]
[bell tolls]
-[machine beeping]
-[Miho] And finally, returning
after a three months' absence,
our all-time scoring leader,
the intern of intestines,
the surgeon of splurgin',
the medic who's psychotic,
the one, the only Dr. Ripper.
[audience cheering]
Mwah!
[machine beeping getting faster]
Good evening.
I would like you to all open your mouths
and say…
ah!
[machine flatlining]
[suspenseful music playing]
You all have an appointment
with the doctor.
[laughing]
[Megan panting]
You…
You don't look at all well.
You're going to need immediate treatment.
[gasps]
Oh.
See you later! [laughing]
-Bye-bye!
-Bye-bye.
-[Dr. Ripper laughing]
-[gate clanging]
Now, the contestants can use whatever
they find in the Danger Zone as a weapon.
But once they step in,
there's absolutely no turning back,
and no way out.
[ominous music playing]
And to prove to our audience
that you are acting of your own free will,
here is your last chance
to turn back before entering.
Please tell the world,
do you want out or are you game?
Game.
[audience cheering, applauding]
Game, Miho.
Game.
Game.
Time for some butt-kicking.
Ooh.
Well, looks like we might have to get
a substitute for Megan.
[audience] Oh!
No!
I'm game.
Look at that enthusiasm!
Like I said, Slashers
is always full of surprises.
Game.
All right then.
The clock will start as soon as
our participants enter the Danger Zone.
They will then have a two-minute head
start before our slashers are let loose.
Contestants, enter the Danger Zone!
Bye-bye!
[Megan panting]
Good luck, everyone.
You said it, man.
Contestants, on your marks!
[Megan wheezing]
Calm down, you'll be okay.
[Miho] Get ready!
Take it easy.
Those slashers ain't so big.
We can take 'em on.
[scoffs] Like the saying goes,
size isn't everything.
These f*ck are K*llers. Remember that.
[audience cheering]
Get set!
[elevator clangs]
This is it, folks.
One-stop chopping.
[chuckles]
[Miho] Go!
[electronic music playing]
Where do we go?
I say we follow him.
He sure looks like he knows
where he's going!
Come on, let's go.
[Megan] I'm not going, don't wait for me.
Hurry, come on, girl!
-Get out of here, okay?
-Come on.
Take care of yourself!
-No, no, don't be crazy.
-No, I'm not going! Run.
Just go, they'll be here any second!
[Megan breathing heavily]
[eerie music playing]
I'm sorry, Mom.
But I… [panting]
I had to do this.
People…
People of America,
my blood will soon be on your hands.
Every… every one of you
watching me right now,
you are consenting to my execution.
By giving your support to this show
and to their advertisers,
you are the root of the problem
of this sick and inhuman practice.
Don't be fooled.
Just because this is happening
in another country
doesn't mean that you and your government
aren't responsible.
Political leaders from every nation
have been working side by side,
turning a blind eye to the worldwide
broadcasting of this show
and its corporate sponsorship
by American and European conglomerates.
[sighs] By slowly making it
a part of every country's daily life
without their people having the guilt
of having it be made
in their own backyard,
they've managed
to accomplish the unthinkable.
The acceptance of mass m*rder
as a national pastime.
By-- [shrieks]
-What do we have here?
-[crying]
A lovely little political martyr.
-Oh, God, no.
-[laughing]
-Oh, what a shame.
-[sobbing]
Go ahead, you murdering son of a b*tch!
Oh, not quite yet,
my pretty little flower.
You have so many
interesting things to say.
And to show!
-[shrieks]
-[eerie music playing]
[screaming]
[Dr. Ripper laughing]
Oh, don't be embarrassed.
I am a doctor. [laughing]
[crying]
[whimpers]
By giving in
to this systematic brainwashing
of corporate sponsors,
[stammers] you are fueling… [crying]
Oh, God, I'm so stupid.
I'm a f*cking joke.
-[footsteps thudding]
-[sobbing]
[Preacherman] Come now, my child.
Preacherman will end your suffering
on this miserable earth.
You are a poor, lost soul.
Come into my forgiving arms
and you shall find peace,
and they'll find you in pieces.
[screaming]
Let me in!
Open the door!
Open the f*cking door!
[shrieking]
-[collar buzzing]
-[Rick groaning]
[announcer] Mr. Fisher,
absolutely no interference
with the cameraman is permitted.
Let him in or you'll be pacified.
This f*cking thing hurts
like a son of a b*tch.
Don't try to take it off
or you'll be breakdancing again.
-Soon, sinners.
-[eerie music playing]
As it is written in the Holy Book,
your time upon this earth is at an end.
[Megan whimpering]
For you have transgressed
one of our Savior's seven deadly sins!
-Why you--
-Not now, not now!
Listen, children,
listen to the Preacherman.
Your souls are black
with the evils of greed.
But sweet Jesus's face
is not upon the dollar bills
that you worship.
You will not be able to bribe St. Peter
at the pearly gates, oh, no.
There is only one place
you are all going to
for lusting after riches
other than the Kingdom of our Savior.
Oh, yes.
You know the place I'm talking about.
That's right.
Preacherman will send your putrid souls
straight down to the chitlin' pit of hell.
Thanks for helping.
Listen, you want some help?
Don't try to be a hero
and you might make it out of this.
Well, I won't help you,
that's for f*cking sure.
Look, don't provoke a fight with them
unless it's absolutely necessary.
[Megan whimpering]
sh*t.
Your life's on the line and you still care
that a bunch of strangers
can see your stuff.
-Here.
-Thanks.
-Cheesecake to beefcake.
-f*ck you.
-Think you're smart, don't you?
-Smarter than you, college boy.
Look, I ain't got no beef with you,
with any of you.
It just occurred to me
you guys don't know what the f*ck
you got yourselves into.
Why didn't he k*ll me?
Don't you watch the f*cking show?
-Honey, he didn't k*ll--
-My name's Megan.
Glad to meet you, Megan. My name's Devon.
Do you come here often?
The reason he didn't k*ll you, Megan,
is because you're a cute little number.
Besides, it was too early in the game.
He had orders to save you for later.
And now they want us
to get all friendly-like and chat
so the audience could
like us, root for us,
so when the fun starts,
it won't just be pieces of meat
they'd be cutting up,
but 20-year-old law student
Megan Lowry from Seattle.
Also, they need to give time
to the bookies
taking the bets
on our chances of survival.
This is the number one
gambling event in the world.
[tense music playing]
What are my chances?
About five to one.
Now?
A whole lot better.
[Rebecca scoffs]
That's disgusting.
Show a little self-respect, will you?
You're acting like a--
[Devon] Leave her alone.
She knows what she's doing,
which is a lot more than I can say
for the rest of you people.
At least Brenda here has watched the show
enough to realize
that well-endowed participants
of the fairer sex like herself
seem to last a whole lot longer,
and more chances than not,
make it all the way out.
It's called titillation.
And it's great for their f*cking ratings.
You sure about this?
How about you trade up?
Now, if we're through
with the fashion parade…
Hey, I don't like this guy's attitude,
but he sure as sh*t looks like he knows
what he's talking about.
We should get cracking
making weapons, too.
Exactly!
That's what separates the men
from the boys.
[Michael] You know, for someone
who doesn't wanna help,
you're pretty loose
with the advice and your tongue.
-Watch your own, Mikey.
-Hey! Cool it, guys.
We have enough enemies outside
without more inside, all right?
That's it. I'm outta here.
[Brenda] No, no wait.
You're not going alone, are you?
Hell, they're gonna separate us
sooner or later anyway.
But don't we stand a better chance
if we all stay and fight together?
Listen, it's nothing personal,
but I can't afford to trust you people.
It's just that…
Well, there's too much money at stake.
Besides, I'll have enough sh*t
with the slashers
without worrying which one of you guys
want my share of the loot.
[Megan] What?
You… you're saying
we would k*ll each other?
-It's rare, but…
-[Devon] But it happened.
I've seen it.
You let someone take care of your back
and that someone takes you out.
-[Megan] That's crazy.
-This whole situation's crazy
and everyone in it.
There are no legal rules here.
That goes for what happens to us
and between us.
The only person you should trust
is yourself.
And remember,
if this m*therf*cker is close to you,
sh*t's about to go down.
[Rick] Hey!
You crazy?
I wouldn't block this door if I were you.
No way to get in…
but no way to get out.
Man, he's so dead.
[Dr. Ripper laughing]
Ah.
Come back outside, little flower.
[laughing]
We're all very interested in hearing
the rest of your political views.
We love people here
with high moral standards. [laughing]
Just don't forget to take
your clothes back off. [chuckles]
Remember, it is standard procedure
before seeing a doctor.
[laughing]
[Megan panting]
[Rick] Oh, my God.
[Rebecca] Be careful.
It's okay. They're gone.
Yeah, for now.
Megan, don't tell me that's why
you're here. To make a statement?
[sobs] We all have our reasons,
don't we?
Okay, what makes you think yours
are any better?
You're so young.
You have so much to live for.
You don't stand a chance
unless you decide right now.
Do you want to live
or be a sacrificial lamb
for some cause
nobody gives a sh*t about anymore?
Listen, I agree with Rebecca.
We should help each other out.
But there's no sense in doing so for you
if you came here to die.
I said what I wanted to.
I don't wanna be touched
by one of those f*ck again.
Good girl.
Brenda, isn't it…
Are you sure we can't convince you
to put a top back on?
It's… it's so demeaning.
-Let her do what she wants.
-Jerk.
Hey, if there's a chance
I don't make it today,
I like the thought of seeing
something nice before I go.
Not to mention,
it's giving me extra motivation
to get us both outta here in one piece.
Do you have a boyfriend?
No, I don't.
Can you believe this guy?
Congratulations, honey. You just
got yourself a personal bodyguard.
That guy Devon was right.
You are smarter than you look.
Listen, Rebecca,
go easy on the insults, okay?
Because contrary to what you may believe,
I'm not doing this
because I'm some kind of bimbo.
[rattling]
[crying] I'm doing this…
I'm doing this to stay alive.
Just look at me!
I'm no Amazon superwoman.
I'm not gonna fight my way out of this.
But I will do anything I can
to make it outta here.
And the last thing I need
is you on my back
because I took my top off.
Stop thinking about my f*cking boobs
and let's all concentrate
on how are we're gonna
make it out of here alive.
Okay?
Okay. I'm sorry.
We're in this together, aren't we?
In this sh*thole together, that we are.
You're an actress, right?
Well, you'll be star
when we get outta here.
[Michael] Hey, Rick.
Just remember they, unlike her,
won't be impressed by your muscles.
You jealous?
Listen, squirt, now that Devon is gone,
don't you start being a wise a*s, too.
At least he seems to have the ba*ls
to back up whatever he says.
You? I don't think so.
Even Rebecca here can kick
your a*s in no time at all.
And you don't even have
a pair of t*ts to help you out.
Even Megan can take her top back off
and hope to survive.
You? Nothing.
[chuckles] Oh, I can take care of myself.
But, uh, you're right.
Sorry. I'm just nervous.
-[chainsaw whirring]
-[women gasping]
[Rick] Quick, gimme a hand.
[Charlie] We'll surely start to play.
No, it should be higher.
You're mine for sure.
[Rebecca] Come on.
-Redemption is in your--
-[screaming]
[speaking indistinctly]
[Brenda shouting]
Guys, over here, quick!
Don't go in there. It's a trap.
-So is this!
-[Charlie shouting]
Why are they here?
-Okay, come on, Megan.
-[Megan groaning]
[Preacherman] For your sins
have piled up as high as the heavens.
And God keeps track of your crimes.
Get ready to run.
-[Megan] But--
-No time to f*cking argue. Do it.
[pants] Hey, Preacherman.
[Megan whimpering]
-[Rebecca grunts]
-Oh.
Yee-haw!
[chainsaw whirring]
Well, okay, baby. How y'all doin'?
Oh, you're not running
from Charlie, are ya? Okay.
Then why open up, baby, oh
Yee-haw!
-[Megan] Over here, quick!
-Oh, oh.
Oh, I'll get you, Becky, come on.
You can run a little faster than that,
can't you?
Charlie's right on your tail.
You just keep runnin' to get you outside.
Yes, indeedy.
[Rebecca] Go!
[Rebecca and Megan panting]
[Rebecca] No time to stop.
Wait a minute in here.
-Well howdy, girls.
-[Megan screams]
[Rebecca] No, go.
Move.
-[Charlie] You're not nice, you know.
-[Rebecca] Damn it.
[Charlie] Not nice at all.
I'm shocked, girls.
You've gone and hurt Charlie's feelings.
Yes, you have.
When all he wanted
was to play with you some.
Well, next time he won't be so nice.
No, he won't.
Not nice at all.
[panting]
Okay.
f*ck it.
Megan, I'm sorry,
it seems I'm the one who brought
Mr. Cameraman here with me.
Looks like we're still screwed.
Look, if we separate,
he'll only follow one of us.
Please don't leave.
I don't wanna be alone.
It's okay, it's okay. Neither do I.
So Hideo, which way should we go?
[whispers] I'll give you a big tip later.
It was worth a try.
Okay, we have to keep moving
and find the others.
These corridors all link up
to each other eventually.
Ready?
[panting]
[eerie carnival music playing]
[chattering]
I hate clowns!
So, so do I.
That and mimes too.
They're the same thing,
they just make less noise.
Where are they?
Why aren't they following us?
They're just psyching us out,
playing with our nerves.
How did you…?
-You were amazing back there.
-It's nothing.
Always been into combat sports,
the more extreme, the better.
Plastic. Figures.
This is horrible.
So much worse than I…
God, I can't believe so many people
risk their life for money.
I mean, that's why you're here, isn't it?
Megan, I don't wanna talk about it, okay?
We have to keep our concentration.
[Hideo] Dear contestants, I highly
advise you to elaborate on your story.
It will use up playing time
and might keep you alive longer.
So you're giving advice now?
Well then, uh, which way should we go?
Great. So now you're back
to being the silent peeper?
He might be lying, but…
but I would really like to know.
-Look, it's important to me--
-Okay, okay.
Jeez.
You're just like the producers.
They wanted to know
every f*cking thing about me.
[sighs] And I told them
so I might as well tell you
and the rest of TV land.
[sighs] Sure, the money
would be great and all,
but it's not what you think.
I don't really need it.
[Megan] You…
I don't get it.
If you don't need the money, then why?
Why risk your life here?
It makes me feel alive.
I've been doing risky things all my life.
You name it, I've tried it.
Nothing beats a good rush
of adrenaline, but…
Well, let's just say,
it's not just for the thrills anymore.
I'm sick. I…
I've been diagnosed with MS,
multiple sclerosis.
-I'm sor--
-Six months ago.
There… There's no way I'm going
to end up crippled and suffering.
No way.
But don't they have treatments now?
-I heard--
-Treatments, no cure.
Your body's the first thing to go.
And your mind…
that lingers for a long time.
No way. Uh-uh.
Not this girl.
I'm gonna leave a beautiful corpse,
as they say.
So I'm up for any f*cking challenge
the world has to offer
and this place is number one.
[sighs]
If I make it outta here, you won't believe
how fast I'll spend the loot.
[sighs]
And there's also a lotta good I could do
with that kind of money.
Rebecca, thanks.
Thanks for staying with me.
-I'm really scared.
-So am I.
Honey, I knew what I was getting into,
but you…
What in the world were you thinking?
You're 20 years old.
Sure, life is sh*t and all,
but it couldn't have been that bad.
Was it?
I…
Three months ago,
my boyfriend, Koichi,
he couldn't afford his tuition anymore.
He was so desperate.
He came on the show
[cries] and he didn't make it.
God, I wanted to stop them,
to stop them from doing this. [crying]
I joined these groups.
It was friends
and families of other victims.
And they were doing
all these demonstrations
and letter campaigns,
but nothing made any f*cking difference!
And I realized that it wasn't just here.
That money was coming…
It was coming from back home.
I felt so ashamed.
And then they announced
that the show was opening up to Americans
-and I had--
-You decided to die for a cause?
I mean, just like that?
-I don't wanna die anymore.
-Good girl.
Megan, listen to me.
You made a mistake, a f*cking big one.
But you have to get your mind focused
on one goal.
Getting out of here alive. Okay?
[door buzzes and creaks]
[suspenseful music playing]
Great.
One of these is gonna
jump out at us, I know it.
[sighs] It's funny.
When I was a kid, I always wanted to go
to a horror movie museum,
but they didn't have any where I grew up.
But I know all of them.
I saw every film.
-Do you mean like horror films?
-Yeah.
I don't get it. Didn't you say you could
never watch the show?
[scoffs]
Movies are make-believe.
This…
[sighs]
This is real.
[Rebecca] Yeah.
Unfortunately.
[dramatic music playing]
Hey, you shall pay for your sins.
f*ck!
Patience, my poor lost lamb.
Your time with Preacherman will soon come.
But for now, do not interfere
with his holy work.
[Megan] Let go of me.
[screams]
Holy, holy, holy
You struck me, a devoted preacher
of the Holy Book.
-Megan, get outta here!
-Silence, you agent of Satan.
You've forgotten your role
as servant to mine and to the Lord.
You've sinned.
But now the time for reckoning
is at an end.
Pray for forgiveness.
[Miho on PA system] Stay tuned, Slasher
fans, for the pulse-pounding conclusion
after this short break.
-[collar buzzing]
-Oh. [coughing]
[Megan grunting and shouting]
[announcer]
Rebecca Galley and Megan Lowry,
absolutely no movement will be tolerated
during commercial break
or you will be pacified.
You mean I have to stay here
under this f*ck?
Great.
They won't be changing channels now.
Megan? Megan, are you okay?
[panting] I… I'm okay.
Now, listen to me very carefully.
Once this commercial break ends,
run away as fast as you can.
-Do you hear me?
-I won't leave you.
-I can reach you in time.
-No, you can't!
Look, I'm f*cked.
I'll feel better if I know
you made it outta here.
Rebecca, I won't go.
I can try to stop him.
[announcer] Get ready. Back in ten…
-nine…
-Megan, remember this.
-…eight…
-Once the commercial is over…
-…seven…
-…he swings that and I'm done for.
-…six…
-If you try to stop him…
-…five…
-…instead of getting away…
-…four, three…
-…you'll risk your life for nothing.
-Do you hear me?
-…two, one.
-Please don't.
-Action.
Don't!
[Preacherman grunts]
[Rebecca grunting]
[Preacherman grunting]
[both panting]
Here.
Megan, snap out of it.
Don't go to pieces on me now.
Take it!
[slow banjo music playing]
Oh, sh*t!
Oh, girlie, you've gone and done
a bad thing.
Yes, you have.
You gone and gotten blood
all over your little hands.
Now, I'm gonna put some
on the rest of your bodies. Yes, I will.
Oh, unless you come on over here
and gimme a little old kiss.
[smooches] Yeah, that's right.
[Rebecca] f*ck you.
Well, dagnabbit.
That's not nice, uh-uh, no. Isn't at all.
-[chainsaw rumbling]
-Ah.
Oh, well.
Looks like I plum run outta gas.
Oh, but don't you go anywhere, nuh-uh, no.
'Cause Charlie's gonna be
right back, right back.
[women panting]
-Hey. Hey, are you okay?
-Yeah.
Still groggy.
That f*ck sure could punch.
Okay.
There's gotta be a secret door,
like in the cabin.
Okay?
[Megan grunting]
Oh! We're stuck.
[panting] Keep looking.
It's gotta be here somewhere. [panting]
-[door buzzing]
-[Megan grunting]
Over here. Quick.
Be careful. [screams]
[Megan screaming]
Let me go!
-[screams]
-[Dr. Ripper laughing]
f*ck!
[Megan crying]
Oh, I'm sorry,
I can't take care of you myself, pretty.
As you can see, I'm presently occupied
with a patient. [laughing]
However, you are in the very capable hands
of that good colleague of mine.
He's not as precise as I am,
but as you will find,
he gets the job done! [laughing]
-[chainsaw whirring]
-[screaming]
[Megan screaming]
I'll fight now!
I'm sorry to be a pain, my dear,
but this medicine is for your own good!
[screaming]
[chainsaw whirring]
-[Dr. Ripper laughing]
-[screaming and crying]
[Dr. Ripper chuckling]
-[Megan crying]
-[Dr. Ripper laughing]
Delightful.
Well, bye-bye, I reckon.
Well, next time you'll be nicer
to Charlie, oh yes, you will.
Oh, hey, Doc.
Now, you take care of little sweet pea
there 'cause I gotta go.
Okay, toodaloo.
-[Megan crying]
-[Dr. Ripper laughing]
Thought you would never die,
didn't she? [laughing]
Ah, you f*ck!
-f*ck you!
-No!
-No! Now the whole world can see you!
-[shouts]
-Ah, you f*ck.
-Oh, no.
It was one of the inherent risks
of my trade.
And yes, my dear, they can see me.
-And now they will see you, too.
-No!
-No! [screaming]
-[Dr. Ripper shouting]
[Dr. Ripper laughing]
f*ck you!
You b*stard. [crying]
Oh, you're such a shy little flower,
aren't you?
[chuckles]
And that's not a good thing here.
Or would you rather be like
that girlfriend of yours?
[chuckles] I think not.
So why don't you show yourself
to our fine audience?
[Megan crying]
Or your fate will be much, much worse.
[laughs]
Oh.
You know I've always been
a reasonable man, you know that?
So I will make things
easier on you.
[fingers snapping]
[Dr. Ripper laughing]
Oh, no. [crying]
[suspenseful music playing]
-[Dr. Ripper laughing]
-[screams] sh*t.
-[Dr. Ripper laughing]
-[screams] Don't touch me!
You son of a b*tch!
-[Dr. Ripper laughing]
-[screams]
So you wanna see my t*ts?
Here! Look at them!
[Dr. Ripper laughing]
Turn on the lights, you coward.
-[Dr. Ripper laughing]
-You'll see them better.
[laughter continues]
Oh, that's the spirit, Megan. [laughing]
Now, you be nice to Charlie
when he gets back.
For some reason,
he has trouble with the ladies. [laughing]
[suspenseful music continues playing]
[whimpering]
[screaming]
Oh, oh, oh, God, oh, no! [screaming]
Oh, no. Oh, God, oh, God.
[gags, coughs]
[retches]
Oh, God, oh, God.
[panting]
I'm…
I'm… I'm sorry.
[groans]
[crying]
Hey.
Mr. Cameraman?
You…
You're still with me, aren't you?
You must be.
Which way do I go?
Please?
Where are the others?
God, it won't k*ll you to tell me that!
[Hideo] So sorry, but I cannot.
I'd lose my job.
Yeah. And what a great job it is.
You're a f*cking monster.
[Hideo] You are too harsh.
I didn't create this show
or make it so popular.
-I simply work here.
-Yeah.
[sighs] If you didn't do it,
some other sick f*ck would.
[Hideo] Do not think your moral standards
are so better than mine.
They are just different.
[scoffs]
Yeah, that they are.
[Hideo] Listen, I cannot help you.
Forget about me,
but do not give up so easy.
Keep moving or they will be forced
to make things interesting again.
Go away!
I don't care anymore.
Do you want to finish your speech?
It won't do any good.
[Charlie] Hi, sweet pea!
-Yee-haw!
-[Megan screaming]
Oh, you're pretty.
Be a shame to mess you up. Yes, it would.
-[laughs]
-[groaning and crying]
Oh, well, Doc said
that you'd be nice to Charlie now
or you'll wind up like Becky here.
Oh, yes, Charlie cut across your hood.
Yes, he did.
Oh, now, come on now.
Just give me a little ol' kiss.
[screams]
-Where are you all running to?
-[chainsaw whirring]
Yee-haw!
Woo!
All right, yee-haw!
[Devon] This way, quick!
Hold this, hold this.
[Charlie] Not fair.
No, not fair at all.
Girlies always run away from Charlie.
Yes, they do.
But I'm all plum outta breath
and I just can't run no more.
Oh, but I'm gonna tell the doctor
you been bad.
Oh, yes, I will. Yes, indeedy.
[Megan panting]
Are you okay? Are you hurt?
-No.
-You sure?
[sighs]
Looks like they're gonna give us
a little break, even though he's with us.
You haven't been by yourself
all this time, have you?
I…
I was with…
But he… [sobs]
He was k*lling her and I…
I couldn't do anything.
He…
He cut her in half.
-Ah, sh*t.
-I…
I couldn't help. [crying]
Calm down, calm down. Who were you with?
Rebecca.
Listen, Megan. You're okay, understand?
-You're still alive.
-sh*t!
We almost made it.
We were almost safe.
Oh, but at least she got one of them.
She k*lled him.
-What? She got one of them?
-Yeah.
-Are you sure?
-Yeah, I'm sure.
This is f*cking important, Megan.
-Are you sure he was dead?
-Let me go!
He was dead, okay?
He had a stick
right through his f*cking eyeball.
Okay, okay, okay. I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
But I gotta be sure that you're sure.
It could mean life or death
for both of us.
[lights buzzing]
Which one was it?
What does it matter, okay?
She got one of the b*stards.
It's damn f*cking important. Which one?
-Now, tell me!
-It was the preacher guy.
[scoffs] Should have guessed.
Luckily for you, he was a dumb-a*s rookie.
I don't think Rebecca
was very lucky at all.
Look, I'm sorry if I was rough with you.
Rebecca did good, real good.
So did you.
[eerie music playing]
We gotta keep moving. Hold this.
-Give me that.
-Wait, be careful.
[stutters] The same thing happened
to me before. The music.
When I got attacked.
You can't be too concerned
about the music.
Sometimes…
they just wanna scare you,
make you think something's gonna happen.
Other times,
they just missed their f*cking cues.
But don't forget,
the music can be soft, then pow!
But why?
[sighs] Just to f*ck with our heads.
Look, you know in horror movies,
only the spectators
can hear the scary music
because the characters don't know
they're in deep sh*t?
Well, we know we're in deep sh*t.
This is a m*therf*cking live horror show
and they make us hear the music
just to f*ck with our nerves.
Assholes.
Although I'm pretty sure
they're gonna leave us alone
until we reach the rest of the castaways.
How do you know so much about this show?
I used…
When I used to box,
I would study my opponents for months,
watching their every move on video
over and over again
until I knew their personalities,
their instincts.
I just did the same with this show.
I only applied because I felt
I had a pretty good chance
of getting outta here in one piece.
[scoffs] But why?
Why did you come here?
Was it just for money?
[scoffs] Girl, I'm not gonna tell you
my whole life story.
But…
But he…
He says that we'll be okay longer…
if we keep talking.
Is that true?
Sometimes.
I…
Please, it'll help me.
I'll go crazy
if I don't stop thinking about Rebecca.
All right, all right.
I suffered a concussion during the w*r.
I couldn't box anymore after that.
It didn't matter how good I was,
how much I studied,
the fact that I never lost,
I was finished.
All those years of effort, over,
just when I was about
to make the real money.
And now?
[scoffs] Well, sh*t.
People are gonna think they're watching
a f*cking soap opera.
But, Devon, you're smart.
You could do anything you want.
Why would you--
Listen, Megan. Where I come from,
you don't have a lot of choices
knocking on your door.
And I promised myself
I'd help my sisters get an education.
Something proper, something I never had.
I took out one mighty fine
life insurance policy,
but I assure you, Mr. Insurance Salesman,
I have no intentions of cashing it in.
And maybe I'm not that smart after all.
Let me tell you,
I've been feeling pretty dumb
since we started this little party,
but here I am.
And now that I've told you
and the rest of the world my little story,
I'll make a more interesting k*ll.
Then why did you tell me?
Because it would buy us some time.
And you're right, it does help.
But don't go thinking
I've got all the answers.
And don't think I'm not nervous too, okay?
-[eerie music playing]
-[Dr. Ripper laughing]
[Devon] Don't move.
Ah, Devon. [laughing]
Remove that girl's shirt at once
or you'll be getting
an emergency house call from the doctor.
sh*t. He's not wearing his mask.
[stammers] I ripped it off before.
[tense rhythmic music]
f*ck! And now he's pissed.
[Dr. Ripper] Last chance, Devon.
It is not the time or the place
to be a gentleman.
f*ck you.
[chainsaw whirring]
Yee-haw, all right!
Yee-haw.
[Brenda] Guys, over here!
Quick!
[Charlie] Okay, I'm gonna have enough
to get off time now, don't you worry.
[suspenseful music playing]
Well, dang. That's just not polite.
Y'all having a party in there
and you didn't invite Charlie.
Well, that's not nice.
Now I'm gonna have to chop and slice
'cause you've been naughty, not nice.
Oh, no, not nice at all.
[Megan panting]
Good. You guys are finally
getting the hang of things.
sh*t. I knew this couldn't last.
We were starting to think
we were on vacation.
Are they gonna attack us right away?
That we'll find out soon enough.
Where's Rebecca?
-They got her.
-[Megan crying]
Poor kid.
Saw the whole thing.
Oh, sh*t!
Which… which one did it?
It was the chainsaw f*ck.
He cut her up.
g*dd*mn redneck b*stard!
[Megan panting]
You okay?
-But Rebecca, she k*lled one of them.
-What?
The rookie, Preacherman.
-No way!
-f*ck.
If Rebecca nailed
one of those sons of b*tches,
we can get the other two
[fingers snapping] easy.
The others are the most dangerous ones.
Still, our odds just got a lot better.
But remember, these guys are pros.
If one of them is around,
then any one of you guys
could still be toast.
What's this "you could"?
Why are you magically out of the equation?
The preacher f*ck
was the only one I was worried about.
With first-timers,
you can't know their moves.
The other two, I know by heart.
Well, good for you.
I suppose you're going
to be ditching us again.
Sorry. Didn't want Megan to be alone.
So you bring her
as well as him back to us.
[scoffs] Hey, don't think he doesn't know
where you folks are at all times.
He'd have gotten here sooner or later.
Well, later would have been better.
Hell, maybe he'll follow Mr. Know-It-All
outta here this time.
Here's a word of advice.
This place is a death trap.
If you guys stay together,
some of you guys are gonna become
part of the furniture.
And just how do you know that?
Last year, episode 15.
They used the same set.
You guys can't notice
for it's happening too slowly,
but this room has started moving.
In a few minutes, this rear exit
that makes this place seem safe,
is gonna be closed off.
[lights buzzing]
Oh.
sh*t, it's true.
Thanks, man.
[Megan] Devon!
Can I go with you?
I'm sorry.
Be cool. You're doing good.
Just keep your head and your feet.
Lucky b*stard.
He leaves and this guy
stays with us again.
Maybe we should split up.
It might be safer.
You and Brenda,
me and Megan, what do you think?
-No.
-No way.
But none of us are safe
if we're all together.
-They'll attack for sure.
-We shouldn't separate!
Look at what happened to Rebecca.
But remember what Devon said.
They're going to separate us
eventually anyhow.
Look, you wanna go off solo like Devon?
Be my guest.
All right, all right. We stay together.
We'd better go.
[wood clattering]
Looks okay.
Love your tone of confidence, man.
[women panting]
[tense music playing]
[crying]
[Brenda] What is it?
Did you know him?
They're past contestants.
Who didn't make it.
Oh, sh*t.
b*stards.
Why do they put them here?
They're f*cking with us, that's all.
We're in loser land right now.
The survivors you only see
in the winner's circle at the end
if you make it out.
And then they add your photo
and you become a star.
TV shows, commercials,
movies, right, Brenda? [chuckles]
These ones, Dr. Ripper got.
This is Switchblade Sam's last one
before he got k*lled.
These others, they're all Dr. Ripper's.
Wow. We're lucky he came back tonight.
[Rick] What the hell
are you talking about?
Well, if I was to be done in,
I would want it to be by him.
He's the best.
Whoa, wait a f*cking minute.
Are you some kind of
suicide-wishing S&M freak
who wet dreams himself on being done in
by one of these f*ck?
What? No, no.
I… I've just always been respectful
of those who were the best
in their professions, whatever it is.
Why the f*ck are you here? The money?
Sure, the money. Same as you.
Why else?
What's wrong?
I, uh… I was dared into coming here.
Rick.
You're not serious.
[scoffs] Me and my buddies
were messing around,
getting drunk as usual.
The show was on and they announced
they were recruiting contestants
for their American special.
Couldn't believe it.
They were holding auditions
not ten minutes from where I worked.
Everyone started bragging
that I should go,
that I could kick the sh*t
out of those slashers.
Bets started up, guys cheering me on.
It got pretty intense.
So I went and auditioned,
but I didn't take it seriously.
I never thought they'd choose me.
But when I was picked out
of thousands of people,
well, I felt so f*cking proud.
All these reporters wanted to interview me
and I was being invited
to all these talk shows.
Everyone knew I was chosen.
I couldn't back out anymore.
And I…
didn't wanna disappoint my friends.
They all look up to me.
Me, Iron Rick,
toughest son of a b*tch in Detroit.
I wasn't gonna chicken out on them.
[Michael laughing]
You better stop laughing!
That… That is really stupid. [laughs]
What did you say?
You better apologize quick
and apologize nice
or those slashers
are the last of your f*cking worries.
[laughs] Okay.
Okay, I'm sorry.
[chuckles] I'm sorry you're so stupid.
-Oh, you f*cking--
-Are you two 12 years old?
What the hell is the matter with you two?
Come on, get rid
of your f*cking judgments, Michael.
All of us are f*cking stupid to be here,
you included.
I'm not stupid.
Then stop acting like you are.
Save your speeches for the camera.
Now, don't you two start.
We have enough to worry about.
-[Brenda screaming]
-[Dr. Ripper laughing]
[Rick shouting]
-[Brenda screaming]
-[Dr. Ripper laughing]
Picture perfect.
I just love signing my handiwork.
[laughing]
[Rick grunts]
He's gone.
So that's what you look like, Dr. Ripper.
[Brenda crying]
It's okay. You're all right.
Oh, my God, oh, my God. [panting]
Not my face!
Michael, take off your shirt.
We'll use it to bandage
Brenda's face and Rick's hand.
No way. Use his, or your own.
You take your shirt off right now
or I'll rip your f*cking head off.
Hey, Rick, I dare you
to say something intelligent.
Go on, I dare you.
-I'm gonna--
-Don't!
Don't you two start up again!
Rick, just ignore him.
Look, we can't afford to be fighting.
It… It almost got Brenda k*lled.
[Brenda] Oh.
Okay.
Fine.
[Brenda whimpering]
Here.
[fabric ripping]
[Megan grunting]
[Brenda crying]
-[sobs]
-[Megan] Come on.
It hurts.
[Megan] Come on.
[Brenda crying]
-Look, just…
-God.
-Try to calm down, Brenda.
-[sobbing]
Look, you're still alive.
I don't think…
[stammers] I can't!
I… God, I'm so f*cking stupid!
Just… Just hang in there.
[crying]
Can't move my fingers.
[sighs] It might just be temporary.
I wish I was faster. I'm sorry.
You did what you could.
I'm gonna get that f*ck.
I'm gonna rip his head off!
Hey!
You do that as soon as he comes back,
but for now let me finish this, okay?
[sighs]
[crying]
We should keep moving.
If we stay here too long,
they'll come back.
You've been taking Devon lessons?
-Do you have a better idea?
-I…
No, not for now.
Here. Let me.
[sighs] I'm sorry.
Come on. You'll be all right. I promise.
I won't let anything happen to you again.
[Michael] Hey!
I know where this leads to.
Follow me.
[door creaking]
Hey, guys, come on.
[chuckles] Wow. Look at that!
[ominous music playing]
The bridge of death. [laughing]
-[door clattering]
-[suspenseful music playing]
sh*t!
Thanks, man.
What? Hey, it's not my f*cking fault.
-[chainsaw whirring]
-I didn't--
Hello again, folks.
[Rick] sh*t.
-[Megan] We're trapped.
-Ya'll ready for a little slice of life?
Oh, yes, I bet you are. Yes, indeedy.
Get back.
You can't get out. Oh, no, you can't.
Well, looks like four
more points for Charlie. Oh, yes, it does.
If… If we all make a run
for it at the same time,
he won't get all of us.
It's too narrow. We can't.
Ah, sh*t.
-God.
-Aw.
Well, maybe if you're
all real nice to Charlie,
oh, especially the girlies,
yep, mm-hm, that's right,
oh, maybe he'll make it quick.
Oh, yes, he just might.
Oh, but you always have
the choice of jumping off.
Oh, yes, you do. Yes, indeedy.
-[chainsaw whirring]
-[Brenda screams]
-[Miho] Don't touch that remote.
-Don't! Don't!
[Miho] We'll be right back
with more nerve-racking
excitement on Slashers!
You can't do anything
until we're back on the air
and they say action.
It happened to me and Rebecca before.
[Brenda whimpers]
Oh, God… [whimpers]
Don't worry, honey.
He's not going to hurt you, I promise.
Oh, too bad. Charlie can't promise y'all
the same thing.
Oh, no, he can't. No sirree Bob.
Listen to me, chainsaw boy.
You're going down.
Oh, you're doing a whole lot less talking
in just one minute when your head
is off of your neck.
Oh, yes, you will.
Well, you better make it
a clean f*cking shot, as*h*le,
'cause you are going down.
We both are.
[laughing]
Well, that's pretty funny, mister.
Yes, it is. [laughing]
Keep laughing.
But I swear I'm taking you down.
Don't be crazy, Rick.
Do you have a better idea?
'Cause I'm all ears.
No! Rick. Listen…
Believe me, I don't want to,
but there's no other choice.
If this f*ck wants me,
he'll need to have
the ba*ls to pay for it.
Well, you should start thinking
about your own ba*ls, mister.
Yes, you should.
'Cause Charlie's gonna
make you swallow 'em.
Oh, yes, he will. [laughing]
You can keep talking, but believe me,
I am going to get you
even if it's the last f*cking thing
I ever do.
[chuckles] Rick, I admire
your intentions and everything,
but shouldn't you have kept
this courageous move a surprise?
I…
I want to see this f*ck sweat
before he dies.
You're bluffing.
Yes, you are.
Oh, what happened
to your redneck accent, Charlie?
Look at me!
You know I'm not lying.
What do you say, chainsaw boy?
You either get the hell away from here
or we tangle.
Do you understand? I'm ready for you.
Oh, like hell I'll remain in position.
-[collar zapping]
-[Charlie shouting]
g*dd*mn it!
You heard what he said.
The crazy f*ck means it.
sh*t.
[laughing] Doesn't feel too good, does it?
Listen, man, it's just my job.
-Well, you picked the wrong f*cking job.
-[panting]
Look, I'll make a deal with you.
I'll let you pass, okay?
He's lying, Rick.
-Don't you believe a word he--
-Shut up!
I have to think.
[Charlie] Listen, guy, I'm not lying.
I got a wife and kids.
Am I supposed to care?
I have kids too, you know.
Well, then think of them for God's sake.
I'm not lying.
I'll let you pass, I swear.
Come on, man.
Ah, these people are strangers to you.
-Rick?
-I'm sorry.
[announcer] Get ready. Back in five…
-It's okay.
-…four…
You're doing it for your kids.
-…three…
-Well, you love your kids, right?
…two…
Yes, I love them very much.
-…one.
[drum roll playing]
-Action.
-[in hill-billy accent] Well, all right.
Nice and slow.
-I'll be seeing you soon. Yes, I will.
-No!
-Yes, indeedy.
-[Brenda screaming]
[chainsaw whirring]
[all screaming]
f*ck me. Did you see that?
-Wow. [chuckles]
-[women screaming]
Ooh, not pretty. [laughing]
[Megan] Oh, God.
Don't look, come on.
Hey, Rick. I think he got the point.
Yes, indeedy. [laughing]
Oh, f*ck you, you f*cking as*h*le!
-[Brenda crying]
-Better calm down.
You b*stard!
He gave his life for us and you--
Look, you have to admire the guy,
but, man, what a stupid move.
He let him pass. He was safe.
-You f*ck…
-[Brenda crying]
Look, we have to keep our heads.
Rick wouldn't want you to give up.
We have to be smart and get outta here.
[sobbing]
[door creaks]
[clattering]
It might just be Devon.
Or the doctor. [laughs]
What the hell is wrong with you?
[stutters]
You seem to be enjoying all this.
Well, if you saw things
from my perspective,
you would see the humor
of this whole situation. [chuckles]
Hoo-hoo. [laughing]
Ah.
[Michael chuckles]
Oh.
Wow, wow. [laughing]
You know, with two slashers gone,
the pot is now at $16 million.
Incredible.
And you won't deserve a dime of it.
[sighs] We all won't.
You have a big problem, you know that?
You think you're so moral
with your political mumbo jumbo.
"We're all capitalists, sinners."
Bullshit.
You're the one who's f*cked up.
Twenty years old and you think
you know how to change things,
make a difference. [chuckles]
Well, you're nothing.
Insignificant.
If you don't look out for yourself,
you're gonna be eaten alive.
You have to get them first
because they're all out to get you.
You. You don't know anything.
Why don't you just shut up, as*h*le?
Woo, now the bride of Frankenstein
is against me, too.
You sh*t!
Oh!
[crying]
Come on. We can't stay here.
Listen, your face will heal.
They can work miracles now.
[Michael] Hey guys, look at this.
-[blade clanging]
-[Megan] Look out!
[all screaming]
[Dr. Ripper laughing]
Vanity's a sin, you know. [laughing]
Don't! It's too late.
[Megan] Oh, my!
-Come on.
-[Dr. Ripper laughing]
Come on, let's go. Let's go!
But personally, I love vanity. [laughing]
Ah.
Yoo-hoo, Mr. Director.
I'm ready for my close-up. [laughing]
[both panting]
Doesn't look like he's coming.
f*cking b*stard!
[door buzzing and creaking]
[sultry music playing]
I think we should keep moving.
Sexy
That's right
Baby
Come on. Look for a secret door.
Lucky me. The Love Room.
Sweet and fine
-[Megan] What did you say?
-Ah.
Ah.
All right
Oh, yeah.
[chuckles]
All that running was exciting, wasn't it?
Oh, yeah
Would you look for a door?
You are not helping.
I'm not helping, eh?
Well, I know something that will.
We are in the Love Room. [chuckles]
Do you know what that means?
No, of course you don't. Here.
Ah.
Let me explain it simply.
If we have sex,
we will buy ourselves some no attack time
until the next commercial break.
Oh, yeah
What the f*ck are you talking about?
It's simple. We have to run out the clock.
If we screw,
we buy ourselves some free minutes
of guaranteed peace.
[chuckles] Sex is ratings.
He'll try and k*ll us afterwards,
but not during.
-You up for it?
-No!
God. What is the matter with you?
Nothing's the matter with me!
I'm being smart.
We have about 18 minutes to go.
If we have sex,
we are that much closer to the whistle.
I… No!
Forget it!
And don't slashers always k*ll
those who screw anyways?
-It's--
-It's better than running scared
for the next 18 minutes.
And as for k*lling those who screw…
Wake up.
They k*ll everybody here.
No, he won't attack us
if we give a good show.
Don't worry about it.
Think of it as playing a part.
Imagine you're an actress.
There's the camera.
Forget the rest.
You're crazy.
I'd rather die with dignity
than f*ck on coast-to-coast television.
I was hoping it wouldn't come to this.
[screaming]
What the f*ck are you doing?
Are you crazy?
It doesn't have to be rough,
but I'll hurt you, I swear I will.
Stop him! Stop him!
This isn't in the rules!
Oh, there are no rules, baby.
Don't you understand?
They want this to happen.
They won't stop me. [laughing]
[both grunting]
Ah, that's it.
Yeah.
That's a good girl.
Nice and calm.
[screaming]
Oh, you're gonna pay for that!
Oh.
Oh, you don't know
how sorry you're gonna be.
[panting]
-Oops.
-[record screeching]
Am I interrupting something?
We were just arguing
over survival strategy.
f*ck you!
[Devon] Don't, m*therf*cker.
Now, now, Michael.
You don't wanna do anything rash.
With what I picked up from old Charlie,
you don't stand a f*cking chance.
And I swear, if you ever touch this girl,
I'm gonna Humpty Dumpty your a*s
into itsy-bitsy pieces
and ain't no f*cking doctor
gonna put you back together again.
Okay, okay. [panting] I'm sorry.
I was just scared.
I was just trying to stay alive.
I didn't wanna hurt her.
-Why would I?
-[Devon] I don't know.
Could it be that it would make
the pot a little sweeter?
Listen, as*h*le. I don't give a sh*t.
So why don't you just go on your merry way
and I won't cut your a*s to pieces.
Fine.
Good luck, Devon.
[Devon] Yeah. f*ck you, too.
-as*h*le. He--
-Forget about him.
Since he's staying with us,
it's the doctor we got to worry about.
-[sighs]
-Come on.
[door creaks]
Look, the others are all…
I know. It wasn't a pretty sight.
Wait a minute.
[chainsaw rumbling]
Damn, it didn't work before either.
I hoped if I let it rest for a while…
sh*t.
Don't know if it busted during the fall
or if they control these things, too.
Well, at least it scared off old Michael.
Luckily he ain't too good with a bluff,
but the doctor… he'll know.
[sighs] Was…
Was he still alive,
when you took it off him?
[scoffs] f*cking guy was a bloody mess.
He was crying and sh*t.
I finished him off.
You should have let him suffer.
Don't say that, Megan.
You go down that road,
there is no turning back.
It'll eat you up.
Are…
Are you going to leave me now?
All alone?
[sighs] Don't worry.
I'm not gonna leave you again.
Listen.
-If something happens to me…
-[gentle music plays]
…don't let that f*ck Michael
near you, okay?
[sighs] Don't worry.
You don't think he'd try
anything again, do you?
I'm not sure.
But if I'm gone,
don't be afraid to use that
on him if you have to.
And remember,
don't turn your back on him ever.
He's crazy.
-This whole f*cking world is.
-Stop!
Don't let that feeling take you over.
You can make a difference
just by being who you are,
alive and fighting.
Now, listen, we got a good chance
of seeing another sunrise,
but I need you strong.
You with me?
Yeah.
I'm with you.
Good. Now I don't wanna hear more sh*t
about how bad this world is.
I wanna hear about reasons
to live, good ones,
like chocolate chip cookies.
[laughs] Cookies?
[chuckles]
Your reason to live
is chocolate chip cookies?
Not the main one, but they're good.
And I'm gonna have a big bag of them
real soon.
-Hell, I can taste them already.
-[laughing]
Okay. Cereal.
-What kind?
-All of them.
Country Crisp.
Lucky Charms.
Fruit Loops.
It doesn't matter.
-See, now you're talking.
-[giggling]
Just think about the big bowl
you're gonna have for breakfast tomorrow.
Breakfast? Are you kidding?
I eat cereal any time of day.
For a snack, for dessert,
for dinner. [laughing]
Hmm. She isn't talking bad.
You see, it's a big world.
Whatever turns you on,
whatever tickles your fancy.
-Stop, stop, stop.
-What?
Did you hear something?
No.
But I lost my concentration for a second.
Would have been a good time
for them to attack us.
Come on, Doctor.
Come out. Where are you? Come on.
How much time is left?
I don't know.
But enough time to k*ll us both twice.
[Michael] No, you f*ck, no!
[Michael screaming]
-Where did it come from?
-I'm not sure.
[door creaks]
Here. Here, don't move, don't move.
Don't move.
[suspenseful music playing]
[Megan] Devon!
Megan, don't worry. It's okay.
[Dr. Ripper laughing]
All right. It's show time.
Come on out and play, Doc.
You're running out of time.
You won't catch me by surprise, as*h*le.
[Dr. Ripper laughing]
I don't have to.
[gate creaking and thudding]
You know, you're such a pretty boy, Devon,
but you need a little work.
But not to worry.
I'm a great plastic surgeon.
-Just a little snip…
-[clanks]
…yeah, and a little tuck there
and you'll be a new man.
[laughing]
[Dr. Ripper grunting] Oh.
Ah. You're good, all right.
But you know something?
You might actually lose.
You hear that up there?
You've already lost two of your bozos.
You don't wanna lose
your most popular one now, do ya?
Tell him to back the f*ck off.
Time to play, Devon.
-[fingers snapping]
-[lights whirring]
Oh, yes.
[Dr. Ripper laughing]
-[pruner clanging]
-[Dr. Ripper laughing]
[Dr. Ripper gagging]
[Devon] Die, m*therf*cker, die!
[Devon grunting]
[panting]
Oh, f*ck!
Oh. [panting]
-[Michael grunting]
-[Devon screaming]
[Michael laughing]
Bravo, Devon. [chuckles]
You got rid of the doctor.
How utterly convenient. [laughing]
[Devon wheezing]
But still, I'm a little disappointed.
[laughing] I was expecting a better fight.
You should've known I was faking.
Mr. Roving Peeper here was with you
and that little b*tch the whole time.
Uh? Huh? [laughing]
[laughing]
Nurse, scalpel. [laughing]
Oh, Devon, don't be so hard
on yourself. [chuckles]
You were distracted by the good doctor.
Bless his vicious soul.
And, of course, [chuckles]
all this blood. [laughing]
It is amazing the amount you can squeeze
out of a woman's head.
[chuckles]
Thanks, doll.
Now…
[Megan] Devon?
-Devon.
-Oh, boy, is she in for a big surprise.
Megan.
Megan!
[wheezing]
[gags]
[Michael grunts]
Oh.
[knocks on door]
[Megan] Open the door, you f*ck!
[door buzzes and creaks]
It's okay, Megan. I'm not gonna hurt you.
We're safe now.
Devon, he, uh… he put up a good fight,
but he didn't make it.
But it's okay.
He hurt the doctor real bad
and, well, I finished him off.
[chuckles] All the slashers are gone.
We won.
Do you understand?
We're rich.
Look, I'm sorry about before.
This place makes us crazy.
I was really scared.
But now we're safe.
I promise.
I'm not going to hurt you.
[sighs] Thank God.
I was so scared.
Hey, hey, everything's gonna be all right.
[grunts]
[Michael laughing]
That's not very polite.
[groans]
Someone's gonna have to teach you
some manners, little girl!
[groaning]
You don't wanna end up
like poor Brenda, do you? [chuckles]
Now, now, Megan.
I'm sure we can discuss this like…
rational adults.
Okay, guys.
You want the show to end all shows?
Tell me where she's going.
Huh?
You know,
you guys are in for a real treat.
My life story.
[chuckles] Not the bullshit
I told you at the audition
just so you'd let me join
your festivities here.
[laughing]
I am tired of being a f*cking wimp.
I'll show Julie I'm not a coward.
I'll show them all. [laughing]
Oh, God, no.
You see, the truth of the matter is
I wasn't expecting to get through
this here extravaganza alive at all.
I was planning this show
on being my grand finale.
Go out with a bang.
Because I have some big news for America.
I chose this show
for my coming out, so to speak.
You see, I'm the one
the tabloids have baptized
the Bible Doll k*ller.
Twenty-six victims in all. [chuckles]
Well, 28, including tonight,
but Devon and Megan probably
won't count as serial killings.
Oh, well. [chuckles]
Oh, now, why am I confessing all this?
Well, I decided this would be
a grandiose way to end my career.
I've…
Excuse me for a moment.
I have to go this way
for our lovely last contestant.
[door clattering]
You see, I probably would have
gotten caught sooner or later.
Now, I say "probably" because up to now
I have been absolutely perfect.
Nothing could ever be proven against me.
But I was getting tired and bored
and laziness would have
made me lose my edge
and make me do that one small error
that would get me caught.
And who wants that?
To be put through the long,
tedious trial and execution?
No, thank you.
So why not make it an event
for the whole world to see and…
[door rumbling and clattering]
-[Michael laughing]
-[Megan gasping]
You f*cking crazy b*stard!
You want the money, take it! Take it all!
I don't want it!
[laughing] Now, now, my dear.
You've got me all wrong. [chuckles]
I care about a lot of things,
but not money.
Well, I'm not gonna spit on it now,
but that's not why I got rid
of old know-it-all over there.
And it's not why I'm gonna k*ll you.
Because you are gonna die,
little girl. [laughing]
But first, I've got a deal for you.
You throw away your little stick
and then you come on over here
and you blow me,
and I won't use these babies.
[laughs]
I'll make it painless. I know how.
f*ck you!
Well, it looks like it's gonna be
the hard way.
[Miho] There's just no end
to the surprises
so keep those buns on your seat
and we'll be right back
with the mind-blowing
conclusion of Slashers.
Oh, well, I'm in no hurry.
The longer the waiting,
the better the loving as they say.
[announcer] Dear contestants,
there will be two minutes
of playing time remaining
after this last commercial break.
Thank you.
Do you know what is really amazing?
I never would have dreamed
that all three slashers
would have went belly up.
This changes everything.
I never expected to live
through this little adventure,
but now what is even funnier
is that I've just confessed
to multiple murders.
Me, one of FBI's most wanted men,
and there's absolutely
nothing they'll be able to do about it.
-You're f*cking crazy.
-Maybe!
But I'm also the extremely famous
Bible Doll Serial k*ller.
The whole world knows it now.
But I'm gonna walk out of here tonight
a free man,
a very rich, free man.
You are completely insane.
The cops will nail you, for sure.
Uh-uh!
The only one who's gonna do
some nailin' in his me,
on you, honey, doggy style. [grunting]
You see it's really very simple.
To do their little m*rder show here,
the producers have
included in our contracts
a little legal clause.
If you remember, it states
that whatever is said and done
during this show
is unusable in a court of law.
-Isn't that amazing.
-[door clattering]
Oh, God bless Japan! [laughing]
I can confess, but I get away with it.
I have total immunity.
And now, one more for the road.
So what exactly did you do?
[Michael] Why do you wanna know?
Oh, are you scared?
If you're so sure of yourself,
go ahead and tell me.
Go on. I dare you.
Oh, goody, a dare. [laughing]
Okay, I'll tell you
and then I'm gonna r*pe you and k*ll you,
and not necessarily in that order.
Oh yeah, I've k*lled a lot
of young, pretty girls like yourself
and like Brenda here. [laughing]
Now, granted my k*lling technique
wasn't exactly
what you'd call avant-garde.
Just the basics to get the job done.
But I did have a very interesting way
of choosing my victims.
I was very fond of finding true love
through telephone dating services
like Dial-a-Date and Tele-Date.
I would meet them once or twice
until I knew where they lived.
Then I wouldn't see them
till at least a year later
when I would come in for the k*ll.
The look on their faces
when they'd struggle
to remember who I was.
Then when they'd recognize me…
Oh, well let's just say
it was worth the wait.
You pathetic, impotent b*stard.
Now, now, sticks and stones.
[scoffs] You wouldn't
say anything that mean,
now, would ya? [laughing]
Brenda would make a nice souvenir.
But they probably won't let me keep her.
Damn.
But seriously,
they're right when they say
that confession is good for the soul.
[inhales deeply]
Especially on live TV it is.
[chuckles] With total immunity.
Except, you forgot
one very important detail.
Really?
After this show,
because of your little speech,
you'll be arrested and probably
ex*cuted after your trial.
Weren't you listening?
Everything I've said during this show
cannot be used in a court of law.
I'm immune.
We're not on the show,
but he's still sh**ting.
Our contract said
that anything that happens
during the show is not legally binding,
but we're not on the air right now!
What you've said during the break
is now all on tape
and considered legal evidence.
Bullshit! You're lying.
I'm a law student here, remember?
But hey, if you don't believe me,
ask them.
[scoffs]
All right, is she telling the truth?
g*dd*mn it, answer me!
When this break is over,
you'll have two minutes to try and get me.
You may or may not succeed,
but one thing's for sure.
After this show, you are going to jail.
[announcer] Get ready.
-[drum roll playing]
-Back in five…
-You're f*cked.
-…four, three…
-You're dead, you little c**t.
-…two, one. Action.
-[suspenseful music playing]
-[Michael grunting]
Oh, oh, you f*cking…
-[collar whirring]
-[Michael grunting]
No fair. You cheated.
I won't have time to get her now. Oh!
Mr. Producer, would you be interested
in selling me that tape after the show
for, oh, I don't know, $10 million?
I don't understand.
Why would you people give up a chance
to have one last k*ll?
It can't be out of compassion.
Oh, I see.
You had something else on your minds.
Oh, the Japs love seeing hara-kiri,
don't they?
Oh, well, I wasn't supposed
to get out of here alive anyway.
[dramatic music plays]
And when in Rome… [laughing]
Have fun with that money,
you little b*tch!
[grunting]
[Hideo] Hey, she bluffed you, as*h*le.
You were free.
It didn't matter if we are off the air.
[Miho] Did you see that, Slasher fans?
What a cl*max. Unbelievable!
[footsteps thudding]
[Megan panting]
[Hideo] Hey, hey, relax. He's dead.
You are all alone.
[panting] f*ck you! You're lying!
[Hideo] No lie. You have won. Listen.
[panting]
[Miho] Congratulations, Megan Lowry.
You are our winner.
Please follow Hideo back to our studio
for your celebration.
[Hideo] And don't worry,
we are not on the air right now.
They have cut to the studio
until we get back there.
I played American poker all my life
and that is the absolute best bluff
I've ever heard.
You f*ck him good.
[sighs] I… I wasn't bluffing.
I made myself believe
it was true. [panting]
[Hideo] Well, you're lucky he believed it.
Why?
Why did you help me?
It was you, wasn't it?
[sighs] They wanted me dead.
[Hideo] That tripping, that was on my own.
They wanted him to go after you.
But why?
Why me?
[Hideo] Do not thank me.
Listen, I don't care about you
or anyone else stupid enough to come here.
You want to mess with your life, go ahead.
Freedom of choice.
But there was no way
I was letting that sick maniac
back on the street, no way.
Now, please enter the elevator.
[door clattering]
[Hideo chuckles] That was
pretty stupid of me telling you
I didn't care about you
with you being so rich.
Now, if you're feeling generous,
I did save your life
and I'm now out of a job.
-[Miho] Now, everybody get ready
to give a tremendous welcome
-to our very courageous contestant!
-[audience cheering]
-[lively dance music playing]
-Here she is, Megan Lowry
our all-time biggest winner!
[audience cheering, applauding]
[in Japanese]
Su-super su-su-su-super fine
Megan, you have just won
the incredible sum of $18 million.
-How do you feel?
-f*ck off!
What a spirit.
You see, Slasher fans, you never know.
Megan, do you realize
you are now a legend?
You now have the top honor
in our Hall of Fame.
You must want to say something
to our millions of viewers.
Here's your chance.
You can say whatever you want.
-Go ahead, spill your guts.
-[cheering continues]
I'm gonna use every cent of this money
to fight you sons of b*tches.
I…
[camera shutters clicking]
No.
No, you would want that, wouldn't you?
[sighs] Hideo, I'll pay you.
Turn it off.
[sighs] Just turn it off.
[Charlie] Welcome to Japan!
Yee-haw.
[rock music playing]
[gong clanging]
See you soon, Slasher fans.
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Slashers (2001)
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