01x01 - Stage Stop

[bunniefuu]

Bud Carlin and henchmen,
captured in Laramie.

Judge Wilkins arriving
today for trial.

What time today?

At afternoon stage, 3:30.

What else did it say, Bud?

Uh, army payroll robbery,
officer two men k*lled,

federal offense.
Well here's somethin'
about me.

Scourge of the West,
notorious outlaw, road agent,
cold-blooded m*rder*r.

I--I didn't write that.
I just set up the type.

Is that the type?

Now set it up the way
I tell ya.

Write this down.

I can't do that.

You can't, huh?

Make this the headline:

"Bud Carlin threatens to blast
Laramie off the map unless
prisoner is ready to..."

And every man, woman,
and child in Laramie has
already decided that this
man should get the rope.

The Gazetteagrees
with Bud Carlin.

The accused should be
brought to trial in
an unprejudiced community.

Has anybody else seen this?

They held my family
while I delivered him.

I got a wife and three children.

Keep 'em off the street
until after the trial.

I want this town
locked up tight, Haley,

anybody who tries
to get in, stop them.
If they don't stop,
sh**t 'em.

There's not a man in Laramie
who'd serve on that jury now.

I think we can find 12 men
with guts enough to.

Suppose we do?
Bud Carlin will come
in with 50.

I picked up
that gunslinger here.

Then he stands trial here,
that's the law.

Marshall, we've got
the second-fastest growing
cemetery in the West.

This could put us
in the lead.

Why do you suppose Carlin's
tryin' to bully us
into moving him out of here?

So he can stake out an ambush
someplace along the way,

he knows he doesn't
stand a chance of bustin'
him out of this jail.

He's tackled bigger jails
than this and he's never
missed yet.

Every time one of his men
has been captured--Hey!

They spelled my name wrong.

Hold it!

I'm telling you to stop,
mister.

Hardly. If he's one
of Bud Carlin's men,
he'll be back.

Ride down the line.
Tell the others
stay where they are.

Keep your hands
where they are.

Ah--don't move.

Just stay right
where you are.

What are you doing here?

Gettin' a crick in my back,
let me know when I can get up.

Give me your g*n.

Take it slow.

All right,
you can get up now.

Where you headin'?

West.
There's a road
going West.

Yeah, with ruts
a foot deep in it,
and he don't like it.

Looks like he's had
a long, hard ride.

Any law against that?

Oh, that all depends.

That's a Texas brand,
you wanna see the bill
of sale?

All I wanna see is your dust,

heading either way you wanna go,
but on that road.
This is private property.

I'll be glad
to oblige you.

I had, uh, three or four
swallows out of your
private stream.

My horse helped himself,
too.

So just figure out
what I owe ya,

and I'll be on my way.

Oh, and, uh,
I looked at a bird
flying over.

Will there be a charge
for that?

If you owned this bridge,
you'd be leary
of strangers, too.

It's the only water
this side of Laramie.

It happens to be
on my property.

Now give me my g*n.
Easy.

And yours.

How often do you get
into Laramie?

Every week or so.

Anybody there
named Pete Morgan?

Not that I know of.

Do you ever hear of him?Nope.

Well,
stay out of those woods.

I saw a jackrabbit in there
and he looked real mean.

You better put some
more elbow grease
into that harness.

Or Slim will tie your nose
in a knot.

Jonesy, I wonder if
in the whole world

anybody's wasted more elbow
grease soaping
a harness than I have.

One comes to mind: me.

The way Slim acts,
you'd think this
sped was all his.

Ever since Pa died.

You better thank
your lucky stars that
you've got a brother like--

Morning.
Morning.

How far's the next town?

What do you mean by town?

Oh, a place with saloons,
gambling.

You a gambler?

I'm lookin' for a fella
that's got a leanin' that way.

Name of Pete Morgan,
maybe he stopped off here.

Was he ridin' the stage?

Might've been.

Then he stopped off here.When?

Did you say Morgan?Pete Morgan.

Never heard of him.

Now wait a minute.

You just said he stopped
off here.

Everybody that rides
the stage stops off here
when they change the horses.

You see, this is
the relay station for
the Great Central Overland Mail.

Pete Morgan.

Yeah.
Nope.
Never met him.

Well,
maybe he got tired
of that name.

Here's a picture of him.

Whoa.Whoa, there.
Hold down.

Whoa. Be gentle.
Whoa, whoa.

What's the matter,
boy, don't you like
Mr. Morgan's looks?

More than likely,
it was me in the picture
that spooked him.

I've been getting reared up
ever since I hit Wyoming.

Thought I was fast with horses.

Hey, how about staying?
I can messy you up
a good hot meal.

Well, hot anyway.You better get fast
with that harness.

Stage'll be here any minute
and we gotta be ready.

Far as I'm concerned,
Jonesy, we are ready.

Ever seen the Tame Kyle?

I got one,
a raccoon that eats
right out of my hand.

Now that I'd like to see.

Come on, I'll show you.

Uh, why you jug-headed bury,
you got more sense than
that boy's got.

Messing around with a loner
he don't know nothing about.

Come on, Sam.

Now remember
what I told you, Sam.

Don't smack your lips.

Ain't polite.

Now how'd you ever
teach Sam to do that?

I read in a book once
that there's no animal
that can't be domesticated.

Well,
here's one that can't.

Here's another.

So long, Sam.

Sorry, Andy.

I must have dozed off.

Sure glad you woke up before
you pulled the trigger.

Mighta ruined a nice piece
of apple pie.

I sure didn't do it any good,
did I?

Well, I doubt I'll eat a peck
of dirt before you die.

Thanks.
How about Dodge City,
were ya ever there?

Denver, Wichita,
Abilene, and Dallas.

Man, the places you've been.

Furthest I've ever been
is Laramie.

Hey, how come you didn't
stay for the trial?

What trial?

Caught one
of Bud Carlin's men.

So that's why he tried
to stop me.

Hm. I figured Carl and his boys
would be ridin' on up.

Who tried to stop you?

A fellow that owns the g*n
that shot this hole.

Came kinda close,
didn't he?

Close don't count.

Jess, how old were you
when you first went out
on your own?

Can hardly remember
when I wasn't on my own.

Like Jeremiah
here and Sam.

Only I didn't find
a soft touch like you.

Maybe I didn't want one.

I thought a lot
about lighting out.

But I wanna be with someone,
a friend.

You like it better alone?

Just worked out that way.

This fellow you're lookin' for,
Pete Morgan,

you're gonna team up
with him?

You got a skunk in that
menagerie out there?

I'd rather team up
with him.

I thought he was your friend.

That picture you showed us.I thought he was, too.

The one time I walked
out of a poker game more
than 100 dollars ahead.

Later on that night,
he clubbed me
while I was sleeping.

I came to with
a fractured skull
and no bankroll.

Well,
suppose you had
a real friend.

Someone who liked you a lot.

Do anything for you.

Well, what I mean is,
don't you get lonely sometimes?

You get used to it.

Well, Jess,
I been thinkin'.

Yeah?

Would you like a hunk
of cheese to go with that?Sure.

How about teaming up with me?
Take me with you, will you,
Jess?

I'll come back some day
and talk it over with you.

When that feather down
on your cheeks grows long
enough to hold a dust,
how about that?

I won't get in the way.

I haven't got much money.

Only 8 dollars.

But I can take care of myself.

Boy, you're really achin'
to hit the trail,
aren't you?

I'm so sick of switching
teams for stages I never
get to ride on.

Stage going West,
stage going East,
wagon trains rolling through.

Everybody's on the move
but me!

Well, next time I take
on a partner it's gonna
be somebody I can trust.

You can trust me, Jess.

Yeah?
You offered me a hunk
of cheese, didn't ya?

And you never come
through with it.

Comin' right up, partner.

Now you wouldn't wanna kick me,
would ya?

Whoa. No, you'd rather bite me
first then trample me to death.

Howdy.

Got him looking real good,
Jonesy.

Thanks.
You know,
dogs, cats, birds,

all them four-legged
critters like me.

But horses...You didn't get ticked again,
did you?

No, but a hoof went by me
so fast I like to got
pneumonia from the breeze.

How's that coke
of a sailor?

Fat and frisky.
That witch's brew you mixed up
for him sure did the trick.

Witch's brew?
That's a scientific formula
I been telling you.

Jonesy, when science catches
up with you, animals
are gonna live forever.

And people. You know,
if that Doc Hanson
would only listen to me
and use my remedies.

Where's Andy?

I told him to soak
that harness good.

He's playing poker.

What?You heard me.

He picked up another
stray. A two-legged one,
this time.

Hoke. Dealer's choice.

I don't understand that boy.

Would be on the rocks
if it wasn't for the money
we get from the state's
company and Andy knows it.

Half interest in a spread
like this, you'd think
he'd wanna do his share.

Help build it
into something big.

Yeah,
grow with Wyoming.

That's right.
That's the way
Pa had it planned.

I know.
Your pa and you always wanted
to be ranchers and nothing else.

But maybe Andy sees
thing different.

You know, everybody looks
at the world through
his own knot hole.

When I'm in Laramie,
you see that he keeps away
from that knot hole
he looks through.

I don't want him coming
into town.

You can't blame him much
for wanting to go.

All that hoop-dee-doo
about Bud Carlin.

And he better not go.
And Jonesy,

you see to it he studies
his books while I'm away.

That boy's gonna amount
to something whether
he wants to or not.

I'll take three.

Now what did I tell you
about keeping a poker face?

It's hard to keep when
you got a hand like this.

Four kings.

Four Aces.

Man, I've never
seen such luck.

All right,
let me have the cards.

What's on the bottom?

Queen of hearts.

Now watch while I deal.
Watch close now.

What do you got?

Four queens.
But the queen of hearts
was on the bottom of the deck.

Well, that's where
I dealt it from.

You wanna win at poker,
Andy, you better learn
how it's done.

I was looking all the time.
How'd you do it, Jess?

I'll show you.

Slim,
meet Jess Harper.

I've already
had the pleasure.

Why didn't you tell me?

How did I know
you were brothers?

No family resemblance
at all.

Don't let us interrupt.

Go ahead.
Show him how you can
deal him off the bottom.

We're just foolin' around.
We're not playing for money.

See, the way I figure,

if you ever are gonna play
for money,

you better learn all the tricks
so you can spot 'em.

Yeah? Either that,
or don't tangle with strangers.

I'd like to have a nickel
for every man that's
been horn-swallowed
in a friendly game.

Could be.
Andy, go out in the
barn and finish
up that harness.

I've got company, Slim.

Andy--Uh, the stage'll be here
in 10 minutes.

Let's go fix up.

Yes, sir, that boy's
a rare judge of character.

Where'd you meet that fellow,
Slim?

Out in the south range
this morning.

Acted kind of ornery.

And how'd you act?
Tan the chord you like?

Andy cottons up to every
no-good saddle tr*mp
that comes along.

He's just a kid.

So are you.

You know what I'd do?

No, what?I'd take him to Laramie.

He needs a little excitement
every once in a while.

Oh, fine,
maybe we can fix it so he has
a showdown with Bud Carlin, huh?

It'd be all right
if you keep him inside.Inside of what?

There's nothing there
but saloons, dancehalls,
and a hotel with wide
open gambling.

Either of you seen my canteen?

I thought it was here.I put it out last night while
I was working on the g*ns.

It sure needed it, too.

It's out in the barn.

Thanks. Just wondered.

Oh, Andy.

How'd you like to go
to Laramie with me?

Huh?
You can stay
with Doc Hanson.

Or in the hotel with you.

All right.
In the hotel with me.

You'd like that,
wouldn't ya?

Thanks, um,
but I don't mind
staying here.

Like you've been telling me,
it wouldn't be right
to leave Jonesy alone.

All right with me.
Give me a chance to make up
another batch of that liniment
you're always kickin' about.

The kind stinks up
the kitchen.

I don't wanna go,
Jonesy.

I changed my mind.

You changed your mind?

Why?
I don't know.

I just did!

Well, I think I know why.Why?

Now he wouldn't want his canteen
unless he was planning
on going somewhere, would he?

That's right.

Just like I thought.

His money and Pa's
watch are gone.

Slim, take it easy.

I'll keep the g*n this time.

Slim!Your company's leaving,
Andy

And you're staying.

Is that why you went
in there?

To tell 'em you
were going with me?

No.He put two and two
together,

added eight dollars,
a solid gold watch,

and that's the answer
he come up with.

And he never comes up
with a wrong answer,
does he?

Not this time,
I didn't.

I say you did.So do I.

Well, you're learning
all sorts of things, aren't you?

How to deal off the bottom.

Now how to lie
with a straight face.

All right, I am going.

With Jess,
if I can talk him
into it.

Or alone if I have to.

And you can't stop me.

You're going to Laramie
with your brother.

Jonesy, I'm leavin'.

I been thinkin' about it
a long time.

I thought you had better sense,
Andy.

How long you think it'd
be before he ran out on ya?

With your money?
And your watch?

Oh, you know something,
Andy?

He's talking me
into taking you along.

You get outta here.
Go on. Get.

So you can start beating
up on him?

Stay right where you are.

And get him up.

I'll take that g*n.

Sorry to break
up the fight, boys.

I'm Bud Carlin.

I don't like to trouble you,
but me and my friends
are hungry.

What's for dinner?

Once the stage comes
into sight, how long does
it take to get here?

Well, that all depends.

If the road's muddy,
it takes longer.

Do you see it,
Bud?

Not yet.
The road's not muddy.

So how long?Crack team?

With any team!

Oh, it varies.

Horse might
blow a tendon.

Stage lose a wheel,
heavy load would
slow 'em down.

Aw, shut up.

How long?
On the average?

I wouldn't know.

Two--three,
maybe four minutes.

Well, that means it's more
than 20 minutes late already.

Ah, what are the odds,
Bud, as long as it gets here.

If it's late getting to Laramie,
they might get jumpy
and send out a posse.

More pie.

There isn't any more.

Clint, go in the kitchen
and see.

You just better hope he doesn't
find a piece of pie in there.

Any whiskey around here?

Might be in my canteen
for snakebite.Where is it?

Saddle bag in the barn,
want me to go get it?

Uh-uh. There might be a horse
in the barn, too, Paul Revere.

Tell me something,
Paul, how--

How long does the stage
stay here?

Just long enough
to switch teams.

How long is that?



The door boy's not too smart,
is he?

Will you do me a favor
and not get any more
bright ideas?

I need all the b*ll*ts
I got.

No more pie, Bud.

Matt's out in the back,
says one of the horses
is about to throw a shoe.

He wants to know,
can he come in and eat,
or should he fix it first?

I'll take care of it.

I wanna have a look around,
anyway.

Who's good at shoeing a horse?

I am.
Me, too.

Uh-uh. You're too anxious.

You two.

Let him sit down.
He's got a bad back.

Sacroiliac.I like it this way.

My target's
in a nice, even line.

I wish that stage would hurry up
and pull in.

It might be the last one
that does.

This could cost us
the franchise.

More stew.
And add plenty of pepper.

I'll see if I can find
something else to add.

Which is the saddle bag
with the canteen in it?

The middle one,
I think.

Andy.

Hand me that rasp.

The relay station every
pick one run by kids
who don't drink whiskey.

You finished?
Yeah.

Outside.

Who's side are you on?

The safe side.
You could've got
your head blown off.

Here she comes, boys.

You stay out here
and switch those horses
just like you always do.

Ah, hold it.

Not you.
Takes two!

You and the driver.
Tell him there
ain't nobody else here.

Inside.

He your brother,
son?

No, Slim is.

Well, don't you worry
about old Slim.

He's gonna be all right.

Unless you tip him off
we're here, in that case
he'll be dead.

What was that?
Judge ain't on this stage.

There are only two other ways
he can get to Laramie.

The canyon road,
that's where I sent
Herb and his boys.

The Crestwood Trail,
Johnny White and his brothers.

I hope he comes here.
I like the way you
got it worked out.

You just better be there
with the horses.

Baxter Ridge.You sure you know
how to get there?

How can I miss?

The first cutoff
after the second bridge.

No, the second cutoff here
to the first--Forget about the cutoff!

Follow the main road
to the cemetery, this side
of Laramie, then left
off the road.

Left.
Left.

How far?

To the edge of the ridge.

But be sure you don't
go past the edge.

It's quite a drop.

Whoa, ma'am.
Whoa!

Sorry, Andy.
Hi, Frankie.

Where's Jonesy?

Jonesy ain't feelin'
too well.

Neither is Slim.

Would you mind helping me
with the horses?

Oh, sure, Andy.
What's it up with your horse?
He's been acting up lately.

Is that him?

His Honor,
Judge Thomas J. Wilkins.

Say, uh,
do you think I can get
a cup of coffee in there?

Sure can, judge.

Sorry I gave you such
a rough ride.

Judge Wilkins, no coffee.Oh.

Tea?
No.

We're out of everything.

Couldn't be better.

No other passengers.

Now why wouldn't more folks
be going into Laramie?

Maybe there was something
in the paper today
that kept them away.

Like a bad weather report.
Storm coming up.

I think I'll go out
and start blowing up that store.

I got this thing worked out
like a time table.
You do it my way.

Sure, Bud.

Bunch around a bit,
Judge Wilkins?

Why, I feel as though
I'd just been over Niagara
Falls in a barrel.
Have we met before?

Well, I recognized
you from your picture
in the papers, judge.

Oh.
I've got some friends
who've met you though.

Is that so? Who?Why don't we go inside,
your Honor,

and have a cup of coffee
while we chat?

Why, that boy there
said there wasn't any.

I'll see they make you some.

Why, thank you, sir.
I could use a stimulant
of any kind.

Quality or consistency?

I wish I could give
you the kind that'd
do you the most good.

Well, I--

Allow me to introduce myself,
your Honor.

Bud Carlin.

Oh. Well, I don't know
what you've heard from those
friends of yours who know me,

but if they led you
to believe that I could be
intimidated or bribed,

they were wrong.They never got a chance
to tell me anything about ya.

Ya hung 'em.

Well, then I believe
in all conscience
they were guilty.

And if the same applies
for the man coming up
in Laramie, he'll hang, too.

That is, if you're judge
at the trial,

If I'm not. If you k*ll me,
there will be other judges.

You can't k*ll them all.

k*lling judges is a bit
out of my lines.

Folks just never let up on
you if you do a thing like that.

Take your coat off, judge,
make yourself comfortable.
You're staying here.

I suppose you know
the penalty for kidnapping.

I said,
"Take your coat off."

Kidnapping is a capital--Take off your coat!

No!

The coat, judge.

Bring it here.

Let's see how it
looks on me.

Help me on with it.

Your hat, sir.

Thank you.
Keep an eye
out the window, Clint.

Not a bad fit.

Only one thing wrong,
dirty boots.

Shine 'em.

On your knees, judge,
do it right!

Remind me to give you
a good tip, your Honor.

Now, wait a minute.

How much more time we got,
Paul Revere?

Well, go to the window
and look!

Lead horse is acting
up a bit.

Might take a spare.

Good.
Let's have some fun
while we wait, Clint.

Get back where you were,
Paul.

You, too, judge,
over there.

You know, if you really was Paul
Revere, the Redcoats woulda
cleaned up when they got there.

Snap it up!

Hit 'em, Bud.
You know me,
Clint.

I like to watch.

You were squaring off
with old Slim when we got here.

Pick it up
where you left off.

We were
just horsing around.

Horse around some more.

Now I wanna see a good
right to the jaw.

All your might.

Well, go ahead.
Hit me.

I said all your might!

The window, Clint.

I'll give you
one more chance.

You got one second.

Well,
what are you waiting for?

Well. That was better.

Only one thing.
You roll with the punch.

This time I want you
to stand right there
and take it.

If you don't,
Paul Revere bites the dust.

Looks like they're ready,
Bud.

The kid's coming back.

You got three seconds.

One...

Hit me.Harder than last time
or it don't count.

Two...

Hit me!

That was just fine.

What'd you think
of that one?

You got it straight, Matt?Sure, Bud.
Baxter--

Shut up.
I'm counting on you, Matt.

Stage is ready to leave.Inside.

Slim. Slim!Get over there with them.

Hurry up!

Come!

This here is a mighty
fine r*fle.

Just step outside while
I got you in sight,
and you will find out.

Slim, are you hurt bad?

I'm all right.
Thanks for missin' my nose.

I'm a coward.

Accepting what has to be,
your Honor, ain't being
a coward.

Looks like somebody
took a swig of this.

Wasn't me.

From now on,
for medical purposes only.

Help me up.

We gotta get to Laramie
before they do.You can hardly stand up.

Listen, will you ride with me?You haven't got
a chance of beating 'em.

He's right.
The horse is around
the pasture.

I'm going after him,
Jonesy.

I could make it with you,
Slim.

With that bad back?

Get the g*ns from the barn,
Jonesy.

Uh, Slim, you can't--And head on out
to the pasture.

Andy, you get back
in the house.

Slim, wire to that stage
if you catch up with it.

He won't do it, Jonesy,
he'll wade right into 'em.

Go with him,
will you Jess?

There are more g*ns in the barn,
he won't have a chance alone.

Please, Jess.
Maybe some day you'll
be in a jam.

Yeah, and have to get out of
it myself like I always have.

Not if I'm with ya.

You can't let down a friend,
Jess. You just can't!

He's not my friend!

I thought I was.

One for you.
I'd like to have
that handgun.

Are you going with Slim?No.

No wonder you travel alone.

Who would wanna team up
with a saddle tr*mp like you?

How come Brady ain't
riding guard?

He took sick.

Hah!

Whoa--

Giddy up!

Ms. Wilkins!

Sure good to see ya,
Judge Wilkins.

Turn around.

Open up!

♪ Open up them pearly gates,
open up them pearly gates ♪

♪ Open up them pearly gates,
right now! ♪

Whoa.

Why'd you turn,
Frankie?

Judge decided not to hold
the trial here.

We're taking the prisoner
back to Medicine Bowl.

Without even changing teams?

Moving right out.

Ya! Hah!

Tah!

♪ Open up those pearly gates,
open up those pearly gates
right now ♪

Ya! Ya!

Barkley!

Round up the deputies!
That was Carlin
on that stage.

Round up, men!

Whoa. Whoa.

And remember, Frankie,
just keep going.

Hah! Hah!

Try to get the back of him.

Hold it!
Don't reach for that g*n.

Jess!Oh, what do ya know.

Good ol' Pete Morgan.

So you hooked up
with Bud Carlin, eh?

I'm hurt bad, Jess.
Don't sh**t.

I was hurt bad, too.

And it wasn't just the money,
Pete.

I didn't take it,
Jess. I swear I didn't.

Ha. You like to watch, huh?

Well, watch this.

Hey.All your might!

Well, that was better.

Now let's see a real good one.

And this time don't roll
with the punch.

Get up.

Wee, boy,
that was just fine.

That'll save us
the trouble of taking
this crow bait to town.

Hey, where's Andy?

Did he come here?No, and he
doesn't know I did.

You better get back soon.
He'll be worrying.

How did you get here
ahead of me?I heard that one say "Baxter."

The only place by that
name I've seen around
here is this ridge.
I came the short way.

I had to cut across
your private property again.
I'm sorry about that.

Well, I won't charge
you this time.

Well, I guess
I'll be riding on.

Tell Andy, uh, tell him
I'll drop by sometime when
the feather down grows out.

If you ride back through
Laramie, I'll buy you a drink.

Uh-uh. Remember
what Jonesy said?

For medical purposes only.

Jess!

Jess!

Whoa.

You're a hard man
to catch up with.

I wanna make the next town
before dark.

We could use an extra hand
around here.

Wouldn't pay much, but--I like to be on my own,
boss.

There's real future here,
Jess.

Finest cow country
in Wyoming.

What do you say?
This could lead to something.

Yeah, it sure could.
Trouble.

Why don't we take
that chance?

Come on,
we'll be late
for supper.

Slim! Jess!
Woohoo!

Jonesy, they're back.
Both Slim and Jess!

You hear me, Jonesy?

They're back!

Come on, Jonesy.

Slim's back,
and Jess is with him.

All right, deal me in.

We'll play a hand or two
and see how it works out.

Yeah, but don't deal any
off the bottom.