01x09 - Two Feet High and Rising

[bunniefuu]

NARRATOR: And now, DreamWorks'
The Penguins of Madagascar.

[THEME MUSIC]

-Cute and cuddly, boys.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

-Feed the penguins.

$2.

Animals.

-Now, Skipper?

-Not yet, Private.

We gotta play hard to get.

Make it beg for it.

ZOO GUESTS: Over here.

Penguins!

Over here!

Entertain me!

-I'm beginning to sense restless
hostility from the crowd.

-We're going to lose them.

-OK.

Commence Adorable Hijinks.

Go!

Go!

Go!

-Executing a waddle
with odd but somehow

strangely endearing body shakes.

ZOO GUESTS: Aw.

-Pretending to lose my balance
and face-plant into the pool

now.

ZOO GUESTS: Aw.

-I belly slide duty.

Let's make it extra cute
and cuddly today, boys.

ZOO GUESTS: Aw.

[CROWD AWS]

-And yeah.

Perfect.

Look how beautitious you are.

Oh, and this apple here is
looking pretty good, too.

Hmm.

[CROWD APPLAUSES]

-Not feeding the penguins time.

How am I suppose to enjoy
my breakfast with all

of this savage,
fishy-smelling fishes

assaulting my kingly senses?

Maurice?

The royal nose clamp.

There.

That should do the trick.

ZOO GUESTS: Aw.

-Kowalski,
irresistibility reading?

-The crowd's appetite
for our enamoring antics

is reaching optimal levels.

-Beautiful.

Hit them with the tail wags.

No mercy.

ZOO GUESTS: Aw!

-And cease tail wagging.

Always leave them wanting more.

[AUDIENCE CHEERS]

-We did it.

-Fish are incoming.

Three, two-- wake up
your taste buds, boys.

-What are these?

-So how's the catch
of the day, gentlemen?

-Looks fishy, Skipper.

-Fish are supposed
to look fishy.

-No.

I think he means fishy.

-Good fishy or bad fishy?

-Definitely bad fishy, sir.

-[SNIFFING] That's strange.

There's no fish stank.

Nothing.

-[SNIFFING] You are right.

The fishy-smelling
fish fumes are no more.

We shall wildly
celebrate, and I'm

talking about more than usual.

You know what I mean?

-But if it's not
fish, what it is?

-It appears to be some
kind of molecular soy

composite, Skipper.

-We're supposed
to eat this chow?

-Oh.

-We're penguins, man.

We need fish, real fish.

-Technically,
these cakes do meet

our nutritional requirements.

-[SNIFFING] OK, boys.

Let's give it a shot.

[DING]

[DING]

[DING]

[BOING]

[ALL GAGGING]

-Oh.

Maybe it's more of an
acquired taste, Skipper.

-Right.

We go again--

[ALL GAGGING]

-And again.

[ALL GAGGING]

-And again.

[ALL GAGGING]

-And again.

[ALL GAGGING]

-Abort.

Abort.

This has got to be
some sort of freak

experiment, a
one-time thing, right?

[RETCHING]

-We're charming.

-We're lovable.

ZOO GUESTS: Aw.

-We're hungry for real fish.

-Ah, three days and I am
loving this life, baby.

No fishy fish fumes fuming
from the fish eaters.

Ah-ha!

You see, Mort, I am so
happy, I forgot for a second

how disgusting you are.

Look at you.

-Hi.

-Fish.

Fish.

Fish.

-67 hours without the succulent,
salty tang of the sea.

He can't take much more.

-Neither can I.

What I'm about to show
you is highly classified.

Slide, Private.

-Sorry, Skipper.

I don't know how the
holiday snaps got in there.

Oh!

Oh!

Oh!

Oh!

Oh!

Oh!

-This, gentleman, is our target.

One standard--

PRIVATE: Oh!

-One standard
restaurant-grade fish truck.

Where are we on cracking
this code, Kowalski?

-Oh, it's fiendishly
clever encryption, Skipper.

-Well, I've secured the
services of a specialist

for aerial surveillance.

-I get a cut of the haul, right?

-You'll get your
fair share, pinky.

-Mm-hmm.

-No, never.

We cannot allow them to
return to the ferocious

fishing fishy smell
to my kingdom.

Gather around.

Now, we need to be doing
exactly what I say,

starting with paying
strict attention

to me talking right now.

Right now.

Now.

-This is Wiener One.

I am up and operational.

KOWALSKI [ON THE RADIO]:
Target is on the move.

Repeat, target is on the move.

-Roger that, Wiener One.

We are southbound,
approaching rendezvous.

SKIPPER: Target turning
east onto 23rd Street.

Eye in the sky is a go.

-34 seconds until fish.

-Prairie Dog Blue and Prairie
Dog Red are in position.

-Roger.

T-minus five, four,
three, two, one.

Stopping target.

SKIPPER: You are
god for insertion.

-Go fish.

SKIPPER: Private,
I want confirmation

that there is food
on that vehicle.

[ANIMALS GROWLING]

PRIVATE: That's affirmative.

But it looks like the
food is us Ah, Skipper!

Help!

-Hang on, prairie dogs.

Kowalski, keep your
eyes on the target.

KOWALSKI: I am
locked on, Skipper.

[DOGS BARKING]

KOWALSKI [ON THE RADIO]:
This is Wiener One.

Are we aborting mission?

Repeat.

Are we aborting mission?

-Gentlemen, we are penguins.

SKIPPER [ON THE RADIO]:
We have a natural need

to feed on the
fruits of the sea.

-That's the way Mama
Nature built us.

Now who wants to spit in
the eye of Mama Nature?

That's what I thought.

We are go for operational.

-Target is turning
right at Broadway.

I'm sending it to
extraction point.

-Locked.

-Nu-uh.

Look at me.

-We're in.

-Job well done, boys.

-We have enough fish
to last forever.

-Fish.

Fish.

Fish!

-One small problem.

We could not allow
for you to return

to eating the savage smelling
foul, fuming, fishy fish.

So I plan to come up with my
own carefully planned plan--

to plan to steal the
stinkies ourselves.

And my plan all went
accordingly to plan.

So you see, we have the
crates with the real fish

while yours are filled with
only the phony fish cakes.

So, ha-ha-ha.

-Oh, nice try, ring tail.

But I know how much you
hate the smell of fish.

I was expecting a
move like that which

is why I switched
the crates before you

even got back to the zoo.

-Ah, but I was expecting
you to be expecting that.

So we switcheroo the
crates on the pier

before got loading
onto the truck.

Ha ha!

-Doesn't really
matter because I just

switched these crates
during your last flashback.

-While I switched them
while you were saying that

you switched them.

-And I switched in the
last time you blink.

-Yes, but I pretended
to switch them

so you actually
switched them back.

-Oh, but I doubled switched.

-And I triple switched.

-I million zillion switched.

-I switched them to infinity.

So you have to shut
up a little bit.

-Ah, but what you
didn't see coming

is that I am actually you.

-OK.

Nicely played.

But if you are me, then by
processing of elimination,

I must be you.

-Maybe.

Maybe.

But if you are me, and I am
you, then we must both be--

-Enough.

Can we just crack these
babies open and get

this over with already, please?

-Look at me.

-Fish cakes?

They're all the
phony fish cakes.

-Aha.

So I am the winner.

Right.

I think so.

Uh, can we get an
official ruling on this

so I can better
enjoy my gloating?

-But where are the real fish?

-I have a theory.

-Huh?

-Suckers.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

-Stay frosty, men.

Rico.

-Ice is secure, Skipper.

-Affirmative.

Commence operation Frozen Glory.

-Hockey!

-Skipper, I hope this
isn't insubordination,

but I'm going to wipe
the ice with you.

-I like your sass.

[BANG]

-Whoo-hoo!

Strike.

-Wrong sport, rodent.

Now get off our ice.

-Oh, gee, bird.

You don't don't look
happy to see us.

-Well, we're not.

So why don't you go crawl
back into that sewer

you call a home.

-Can't.

The pipes burst.

-There's a little too
much sewer in the sewer.

So we ain't going nowhere.

-Oh, that's a double negative.

-Make it a triple.

You're gotta here.

This is our base, our home--

-Our hockey rink.

-Hockey, you say?

Is that what this
thingies are for?

-The technical term
is hockey stick.

-And you're holding it wrong.

-Tell you what, how about
we take you on in hockey?

-You win, we leave.

-We win, you leave.

-Forget it.

Hockey is our sport.

Ice is our element.

We'd slaughter you rookies.

-Then what are you afraid of?

-All right.

Deal.

Kowalski, outfit the sewer
rats with the proper equipment.

-Oh, that won't be necessary.

We brought our own gear.

-Uh-oh.

[SCORE BUZZER]

[SCORE BUZZER]

[SCORE BUZZER]

[LOTS OF SCORES]

-That's game.

-You hustled us.

-Oh, yeah.

We we.

Now off our ice, losers.

-We lost our ice.

-It's worse than that, Private.

We lost our pride.

-So cold.

Cold.

-Mort, when it is freezy
out, my royal feet

are sensitive with
a fearsomeness.

You know this.

SKIPPER: All right men, we're
going to win our ice back.

-We need to take our
game to the next level.

-Um, excuse me, what
in the name of me

do you think you are doing?

-We're commandeering
your ice, ring tail.

Kowalski, I'm open.

Hit me.

-This looks fun.

-Nice grab, Rico.

-Oh, I like this ice game.

I declare we lemur
shall play, too.

Maurice, order us some
uniforms-- something

in a mauvey with a tangerine
sleeve but not too poofy.

I'd like to maintain
my masculinity.

-Negatory.

Our roster is full.

-You do not want me to play?

-Now you're catching on.

-You know, in the
sporting teams,

I was always picked last.

-Isn't that interesting?

Kowalski, circle back and--

-Skipper, maybe we
should let Julien play.

After all, it is his ice.

-Ah, OK.

Show me what you got.

-Ow.

-Ha ha.

I am a natural.

Admit it.

-Well, that was-- what's
the word I'm looking for?

[RASPBERRY]

-Yeah.

That's the one.

OK, boys.

Let's work on defence.

-Ah, ah, ah.

You let me on your
team or you go back

to play on your own freezy ice.

-Give me something
else to break.

-Well, of course
you're on the team

my little ring-tailed friend.

You can--

--be our cheerleader?

-What is this cheerleader?

-Only the most important
position on the team.

-Well, I am feeling
pretty important today.

Yesterday, mm-mmh.

But today, tell me more.

-Well, you're the
source of inspiration.

-And no team can win
without inspiration.

-Well, I am very inspiring.

Yes, I shall bee your
leader of cheers.

Ooh, I am twittering
with the excitement.

What shall I do first?

Tell me.

-Leave us be so you
can um-- you could

cook up some really
choice cheers.

-Maurice, quick.

Get the pen and paper.

I am feeling crazy
with the inspiration.

-OK, men.

Back to work.

We're going to practise
until we're perfect.

-Hey, I'm open.

I'm open.

I'm--

[SCORE BUZZER]

-That's just a little sample
of what we brought, rat.

Rematch?

-What do you say, boys?

Should we give these
birds another whooping?

-Yes.

Stupidy rats.

We will be beating you
in this hockey contest.

-This clown with you?

-Ha.

You probably can't even get
the ball into the hoopy thingy.

-It's called a puck.

-Oh, OK.

OK.

You probably can't even get
the ball into the puck thingy.

-Cheerleader, off the ice.

Now.

-You dummy rats shall
never score a homely run.

-You see, he's the-- we made
this deal and-- never mind.

Let's play.

-Ahh.

Ah.

[SCORE BUZZER]

-Goal!

-[SINGING] Every time
you penguins score,

it's King Julien we adore.

-Bring me on.

-You're not supposed
to cheer for yourself.

-Oh, I'm not.

They are.

-Yo, rats.

Huddle up.

-They're k*lling us.

-Those penguins got good.

-Yeah, so we get bad.

-Whoa!

-On a positive
note, the porcupines

were very apologetic.

-Can you skate?

-Sure.

-You know, you ain't got
a full team, you forfeit.

That means you lose.

-Eggs and bacon, man.

We don't have another player.

-Technically speaking, Skipper,
that's not entirely true.

ALL: [SINGING] All, uh-huh.

Across the nation, uh-huh.

There's a new, uh-huh,
hockey sensation, uh-huh.

Julie, Julien, Julien.

-Desperate times.

Congratulations.

You're in the game.

-Hey, look, don't expect me
to do nothing but hold a stick

and stand there.

-There's all we require.

[SCREAMS]

-Kowalski, speak to me, man.

-Just a knock on
the old monkey bus.

-Kowalski?

-No need to paint.

I'm as flopsy-faced as ever.

-I don't think
you're fit for duty.

-Flibbity jibit man,
I'm as juxtaposed

as the next hamburger.

-Oh, you're down another player.

Ready to call it quits, penguin?

-Negative.

[LAUGHS]

[WHIMPERING]

-Medic.

-OK.

It's go time.

-Skipper, maybe it's
time to admit we lost.

-The moo cow may have a
chocolate marshmallow.

-No.

We still have one player left.

Rico, turn me.

-Oh, no.

Without my all-important
cheerful leading,

how can the game be win?

-Turns out that
cheerleading is really

not so important to hockey.

-So the whole game did not
rest on my regal shoulders?

-Well, no.

But it does now.

Ring tail, this whole
game has come down to you.

-Then I shall not
be letting you down.

I shall only be letting you up.

Make way for King Julien,
champion hockey guy.

-Hey, hey, hey.

Slow down.

How am I to beat you
if you do slow down?

[SCORE BUZZER]

-They're scoring again.

Defence!

-Ah, ah, ah, ah.

It must be a cheer.

-[SINGING] Defense!

De-fense.

King Julien needs to
play defence, rah.

-Which fence?

I see no fence.

Hey, hey, everybody.

New rule.

One player on the ice at a time.

That way I-- you skated
across the royal feet.

-Your point is?

-Oh, here it comes.

None may touch the royal feet!

None!

[GRUNTING IN SLOW MOTION]

-No more.

We give.

We give.

-Well, I'll be a
bicycle cream cone.

-They did it, Skipper.

They-- ow.

-And that is why none
may touch the royal feet.

-It's true.

-Well, there's only
one thing to do.

-[SINGING] All, uh-huh

-[SINGING] Across
the nation, uh-huh

-[SINGING] There's a new, uh-uh

-[SINGING] Hockey
sensation, uh-huh.

ALL: Julien, Julien, Julien.

[THEME MUSIC]