02x52 - Pets Peeved

[bunniefuu]

PETS PEEVED

[birds chirping]

[snoring]

[sniffing]

G-g-g...

Wha--?

G-g-g...
G-g-g...

What the--
your majesty?

Gold!

Ah, Maurice, look!

I have been visited
by the gold fairy.

The gold fairy?

The winged pixie

who leaves the shiny yellow
while you sleep.

I got the yellow visit, too!

But my present melted.

[cheery music]

[snoring]

It's not just us, Skipper.

They showed up everywhere
last night.

Kowalski, shiny rectangle
analysis.

Best guess... targeting marks
for a space laser super-weapon.

Zap!
Pting-ting-ting-ting!

Bo-ding yow!

Space laser countermeasures!

Rico, bend that death mirror
away from the HQ.

Perhaps a scooshe towards
the you-know-who habitat.

[puffing]

[humming]

[laughs wickedly]

Uh, guys, what are you doing?

Clear the line of fire, Marlene.

Unless you want
a piping hot breakfast

of golden laser cakes.

Golden laser--?

No, guys, those
are adopt-a-critter signs.

Adopt-a-critter?

Well, now you're just
making up words.

No, no, no, they did this
back at my old aquarium.

Rich people give money
to the zoo,

and they get to put their names
up on the habitats.

so it's indentured servitude, eh?

Well played, zoo overlords.

Wait, what?
It's inden--

[ominously] Hmm, yes.
Disturbing indeed.

Explain your ominous tone,
primate.

It seems over 70%
of the zoo's habitats

have been adopted
by the Vesuvius family.

[wind howls]
[thunder crashes]

[penguins gasp]

The Vesuvius twins.

Poster punks for park place
pre-pubescent pandemonium.

[squawks]
[clunk!]

No rules.
No limits.

No sense of decency.

[laughs crazily]
I'm a camouflage.

[splat!]

[screams]

Lactose intolerant!

Shudder to contemplate
what that mad duo

is scheming now.

[chairs squeak]

I believe you'll find
our proposal quite fair.

Crayon?
I don't read crayon.

Gimme the short version.

Being that our family
just adopted

over 70% of this zoo,

my colleague and I believe
we should be allowed

to take selected animals
home with us.

To play.

Right. I got a rhino
to hose down, kiddies,

so why don't you--

Both: Lawyer team, activate!

Oh!

Lawsuit...
Financial ruin...

I lose my job?

[sighs]
Fine.

Two animals.
Small ones.

And you pay for my ceiling.

[boys laugh evilly]

[grunting]

[birds chirping]

[slurping]

Huh?

Skipper!

[splat!]

Cage comes down!
What now?

[laughing evilly]

Boys, avenge me!

Avennnnnge meeeeee!

- I love you!
- No!

Skipper!

Don't touch my stuff.

Don't touch my stuuuuff!

[evil laughter]

[screaming]

[screaming again]

Seriously, I cannot believe
they make a tv that big.

Focus, Ringtail.
Vesuviuses can smell weakness.

Just stay strong, and never
let them take your dignity.

Please.
I am a king.

I eat dignity for brunch.

Right between a healthy
breakfast of awesome

and a lunch-sized portion
of rawwwrrrr.

Both: Gladiators.

Today you fight for honor.

Pah!

For glory!

I don't think so.

And for the right
to grab...

Sgt. Saturn's intergalactic
zap band!

[squeals]
Ooh, sparkly!

[dramatic music]

Both: Fight, fight, fight!

No dice, psychopaths.

You may have claimed
our bodies,

But the spirit of freedom
cannot--

[clunk!]

I win!

Give me
the shiny arm bangle.

Gimme, gimme!

So what's the rescue plan?

The clan vesuvius live

in the poshest penthouse
in Manhattan.

Security is state of the art,
but I believe

I have found an entry point
for us right here.

I am coming, king Julien!

Oh!

This entry point
is too itty-bitty.

Come on.
Who's the good boy?

Who's gonna get
the shiny toy?

Ooh, I hope it is me.

No, Ringtail.
Remember, dignity.

Hold onto it.

Dignity don't sparkle
in the sunshine, buddy.

Whoa, whoa, whoa!
Oof, oof, oof!

Oof, oof!

Ha, ha, ha.

Agh, yah, yah!
Huh, uh!

[screaming]

Hey, suck it up,
lazy booty.

You got to be in it
to win it.

Whoa, yeah!
Go!

Violence is my favorite.

[electronic beeps]

There's our entry point.

It should be an easy shot
straight across--

I am coming, king Julien!

Aahh!

[crash!]

...with the grappling g*n.

[gags]

Ew.

[gulping and smacking]

[sniffs]
ugh!

Mm!

You are a spineless slab
of pushover jelly.

[gulping]

[gags]

He ate it.

He totally ate it.

Oh, so...

[belches]
...Shiny.

Trouble choking down
your own pride, Ringtail?

Well, let that be
a less--

- Blargh!
- Ewwww.

- Skipper--blargh!
- Ohhhh!

We just made a squirrel thing
throw up on a penguin.

Huh?

Warning.
Unauthorized entry.

[alarm blares]

Press panic button
for lockdown.

They must be like
homing penguins or something.

They're coming right to us!

Whew, now.

Okay, think I'm okay now.
[gags]

- Blargh!
- Ugh!

Oh, when did I have
kettle corn?

[gags]

Skipper?

Don't ask. And don't come
any closer. It's a trap.

Rico, I'm gonna need
bolt cutters,

six yards of binder twine,
and a--

I am coming, king Julien!

Agh!

Dah!
Wah!

- Whoa!
- Why did we even bring him?

Ladies and gentlemen,

welcome to the Vesuvius
brothers circus...

of pain!

A registered trademark
of Vesuvius enterprises.

Don't even think
about copycatting.

We have lawyers.

It's go time.

[animals screaming and groaning]

Behold the perpetual trapeze.

Ow! Ow! Hey!

The bowl of bowling.

[grunting and groaning]

The sickmaker.

I am not a licensed
piloooooot!

And the doomed damsel.

Aaa!

Look out!

Ugh!
Uh-oh, uh-oh, uh-oh.

- Ow!
- Sorry.

Do not worry, everyone!

King Julien will save us!

[upbeat dance music]
♪ mm, uh ♪

♪ we're dancing
in the big top ♪

♪ mm, uh ♪

♪ booty loves the circus,
yeah ♪

Oh, you have got
to be kidding me.

Ow!

Hmm...Agh!

Ringtail, I've got
an exit strategy.

But I'm gonna need
your sgt. Saturn zap band.

What? I earned
the zappity band

fairly and squarely
by hitting you in the back

when you were not looking.

Listen, you self-centered,
sparkle-crazed--

- Oof!
- Sorry!

Forget it, Skipper.
Ow!

I came here
to rescue a king--agh!

Not some kid's
fancy little pet--ow!

How dare you speak such lyings?
Not about the fancy.

That is always the truth.
But this king is pet to no man.

Oh, yeah? Ow!

Tell it to that diaper leash
you're wearing--ow!

Pah! Wha--oh, what?
This?

Okay, firstly, the diaper?

That is purely for the...
personal comfort.

And the shiny gold chain,
for your information--

Huh!
Hoo!

Hey, the squirrel thing
stopped dancing. Do it!

Uh, yes, I do love
the dancing, but-- ugh!

He said dance, monkey.

Oof!
Oof!

Okay.
That is really annoying.

And as your king,
I must order you to--

Dance, monkey, dance!

- Monkey, dance.
- Monkey, dance.

[both]
Monkey, dance.

My dignity has been stolen!

Maurice, for once you are a little
bit right about something.

Oh, really?
Ugh!

Nobody turns the king
into a little fur toy.

You can take your diaper
and eat it.

And you can take
your rhinestone glasses, too!

Hey! Oh!
Oh, and this belt?

Yeah, this one?

I actually like it,
so I'm going to keep it.

But you can take
your zap band!

Oof!
Hmm.

Ha!
Mm, hyah!

[screaming]

[whump!]
[crash!]

Ow!

[screaming]
[alarm blares]

Bull's-eye.

Panic button lockdown,
initiate.

Huh?

Yeah!

[wheel ricocheting]

Yahoo!

[punches and grunts]

Welcome back to the circus.

Under new management.

[laughs evilly]

Huh?
[squeals]

[squeals]
Huh?

Well, ringtail, you finally
got your dignity back.

Yes, and now I will be
taking theirs.

[kids screaming and crying]

Mommy!
Lawyers!