01x03 - Employee of the Month/ Brocrastination

[bunniefuu]

[Ducks quacking, record scratching]

Both: buckle up, duckies 'cause we got a rocket van delivering bread flying quazy 'cause we can quazy, quazy quazy 'cause we can
- Swaysway!
- Buhdeuce!
- Do a barrel roll, man! Both: Sweet! Buckle up, duckies 'cause we got a rocket van delivering bread, flying quazy 'cause we can Booty kick it, party punch it shake your feathers, make your pants dance
- Look out, we're gonna crash land! Crash! [Triumphant music]

[Frogs croaking, crickets chirping]

[Upbeat rap music]


- I be Booty kicking bread in the rocket van pack it up real nice, the best I can stuff that bread, fill it up to the brim then I take the rest and cram it all in Hooh
-ah! [Doors creak]

Packed it like a pro.


- Buhdeuce? Yo, buhdeuce! I've got some news so big, it is gonna make your head explode.


- Tell me, tell me, tell
-
- I'm very excited.

Please tell me the news.


- Here, big guy.

Better protect your noggin, 'cause today, in this very hangar, I am giving out [Whispers]

An award.


- What kind of award?
- The first
-ever Breadwinners Employee of the month award!
- Oh, my bap! Ahh, employee of the month.

I can see it now.

[Marching band music, crowd cheering]


- We love you, buhdeuce!
- Thank you! I love you too! But most of all, I love you, big, shiny employee of the month award.

Crowd: Buh
-deuce, buh
-deuce, buh
-deuce!
- Buhdeuce, stop smooching the bread.


- Wha
-
-huh? Hey! I don't kiss on the first date! Huwah!
- Come on, the ceremony is about to begin.

And trust me, you do not want to miss it! [Upbeat music]

[Reverb]

[Clears throat]

Good afternoon, and thank you all for coming out today.


- [Laughing]

All right! Yeah! I know him! I
-I totally know him.


- Thank you, thank you.

We're here today to honor a truly righteous member of the breadwinners team.


- [Giggling]


- Someone who works hard
- I work hard!
- And gives it their all.


- I give it my all!
- It's time now to announce The employee of the month! [Triumphant music]


- Employee of the month employee of the month I'm gonna be employee of the month
- and the award goes to Hold on, I need my glasses.

Yep, ah.

Wait a minute.

I don't wear glasses.

Crash!
- Oh, come on, open it!
- [Grunting]

[Phone rings]

Yello? Oh, hey, how's it going?
- Oh, my bap.


- Yeah? Uh
-huh? Oh! [Laughs]

You don't say.

I'm sorry, you have the wrong number.


- Open the envelope already!
- And the award for employee of the month goes to The rocket van!
- Yeah, boy! Yep, yep, yep, yeppity yep yep.

Yep, yep, yep, yeppity
-
- bonk! Wait.

The rocket van?
- How about a big round of applause for our winner? Whoo
-hoo!
- Whoo Hoo.


- Are you feeling all right?
- [Sniffles]

Me? Oh, yeah.

Never been better.

[Frogs croaking]

[Sobbing]

I know it's just an award, and [Sniffles]

I shouldn't cry, but I just can't help it! [Wailing]

It's not fair.

I should be employee of the month.

[Blows nose]


- Ribbit?
- What's that, jelly? You're right.

I will not cry.

I am better than the rocket van, and I'll prove it! Then swaysway will see how good I am, and he'll make me employee of the
-
- of the
-
- [Giggling]

Jelly, I'm trying to be serious here, and you're licking my butt.


- Ribbit.

[Funky rock music]


- Whoo
-hoo! [Laughs]

Did you see that? The rocket van takes a lickin' and keeps on tickin'.


- Big deal.

I can take a lickin'.

[Grunting]

Agh! [Grunting]


- Uh, are you okay?
- Me? Ha, ha.

Oh, yeah.

Not even a scratch.

[Energetic rock music]


- Whoo
-hoo! That's what I'm talking about.

You are fast, rocket van, a.

K.

A.

Employee of the month.


- Yeah, but sooner or later, the rocket van runs out of gas.

I never run out of gas.

[Farts]


- Oh, ugh.

Gross.


- I don't mean to toot my own horn, but
-
- [toots fanfare]


- Ew!
- [Farting]


- Gah! What has gotten into you?
- Ooh, sorry, bap.

Once you break the seal, the fart gates cannot be closed.

[Farting musically]


- Whoo! Rocket van, you are a lean, mean, bread
-delivering machine!
- Well, I can be lean.

[Inhales]

Blah.

I can be mean.

[Roars]

And I can be a machine.

[Crunching]

I'm a machine.

[Gears whir]

I'm a machine.

I'm a machine.


- [Laughs]

What a quazy little dude.


- I'm a machine.

I'm a machine.

[Grunts]

I'm a machine.

I'm a machine.

I'm a machine.

I'm a machine! [Upbeat digital music]

I'm a machine! I'm a machine! I'm a machine! [Music slows down]

I'm a machine.

[Panting]

[Alarm blaring, duck quacking]

Sorry.

[Panting]

I'mA Machine.

[Groans]

I did it.

[Chuckles]

I proved that I'm a lean, mean, bread
-delivering machine.

[Snores]

[Alarm buzzes]


- Wakey wake, sleepy head time to get up and deliver more bread
- Oh, boy.

[Energetic music]


- Yo, buhdeuce.


- Gah, wha?
- Do me a favor and secure the cargo.


- Roger [Yawns]

That.

Faberge egg bread all secure.


- Good, 'cause we're about to begin an unnecessary and extremely reckless vertical ascent! Whoo
-hoo! [Ominous music]


- [Growls]


- [Snoring]

Agh! Wha
-ha
-ha
-ha! [Heroic music]


- Whoa! The rocket van totally saved your beak.

That was awesome!
- Yeah, awesome.


- Once again, it proved why it's employee of the month.

Come on, let's head on home.


- [Sighs]

[Crickets chirping]

Hi, rocket van.

I just wanted to say thanks for saving me.

And sorry for trying to take your award.

You deserve it.

Not me.

[Sad country music]

You've got levers and fancy parts I've got a belly and a butt that farts you can do barrel rolls and loop
-de
-loops and other cool tricks I can't even bathe myself or hang a shelf and I'm 2'6" I just want to be the best breadwinner that I can be 'cause delivering all that bread means everything to me always hanging with my best bap sway party punching all day I just want to be the best breadwinner but I can't be
- Buhdeuce, come on, man.

That's not true.

You are the best breadwinner.


- Really?
- Yeah, man.


- But he's got levers and fancy parts.


- So what? You've got guts and a really big heart.


- But
-
- but he can do barrel rolls and loop
-de
-loops and other cool tricks
- yeah.

But you can do ninja rolls and somersaults and Booty kicks
- yeah, boy!
- And if you wanna know the truth there ain't nobody who loves bread more than you sing it, bap!
- I really am the best breadwinner that I can be
- you're better than the best you're bestest to me
- I can't even floss my teeth
- So?
- or count to three
- that's why you got me
- I really am the best breadwinner that I can be
- you can be both: we can be
- thanks, swaysway.

With a best bap like you, I don't need a silly award.


- Oh, really? 'Cause I was actually planning on giving you one.

But if you don't want it, I
-
-
- I changed my mind! I want an award!
- In that case, congratulations Employee of the year!
- Oh, my bap! ThanksBap.


- You're welcome, bap.

[Digital hip
-hop music]

[Frogs croaking]

[Alarm beeping]

Crash!
- [Laughs]

Oh, yeah, nailed it! [Dance music]


- Swamp pad, we're home! [Chuckling]

Whoa! Aw, jelly, you licked my face off.


- You know, after a long, hard day of delivering bread, there's only one thing I want to do.


- [Chuckles]


- Eat bread!
- Bread! Bread, bread, bread, bread, bread bread, bread, bread, bread, ooh! Bread, bread, bread, bread, bread
- Come on, let's set the table and eat like proper ducks.

Screech! Both: Whoa.

[Flies buzzing]


- Buh, when was the last time we did the dishes?
- One, maybe Two years ago? Tops.


- Agh.


- Yuck! [Both gagging]


- I think there's something growing in there.

[Both scream]


- Welp, there's only one way to deal with a major dirty dish overload.


- Move out of the swamp pad, start a new life, and never look back.

Good
-bye.

[Hayseed music]

And I never looked back since.

And that's the story of my life, guy I just met.


- [Quacks]


- Agh! Oof!
- Deucer! Snap out of it!
- Buh, snapping out of it.


- We've put this off for too long.

These dishes must be cleaned.

So let's roll up our sleeves And make the dishwasher do it.


- What? No way, brah.

Those dishes are too dirty.

They'll gum up my works.


- Come on, they're not that bad.

[Ominous music]

Okay, they are that bad.

But you're doing them anyway.

It's your job.


- Then I quit.

Huah! [Huffing and puffing]


- Get back here, dishwasher!
- You don't own me!
- Yes, we do.

I have the receipt! [Dramatic music]


- See ya later, feather lickers.

Ha, ha, ha! Huh? Whoa, whoa
-
- whooooa! Still not doing the dishes, bros.


- All right, we can't put it off any longer.

We have to do the dishes.


- Right behind ya.

[Ominous music]

[Both whimpering]


- On second thought, I have to exercise.

You start without me.

[Huffing and puffing]


- I'd love to, but, uh, I have to, uh, comb jelly's hair! Yeah! [Squeaking]


- Ribbit?
- This is, uh, gonna take a while.

You better do the dishes yourself.


- [Groans]

Wish I could, bro.

[Groans]

But I got, like, six [Groans]

Thousand more curls to crush.

[Arm deflates]


- Well, then, I need to go upstairs and, uh, vacuum my bed.


- Well, I need to fix the computer.


- It's not even broken.


- Now it is.


- All fixed.

Now you can get started.


- Me? What about you?
- I have to take jelly for a walk.

Bye
-bye, ciao.

[Phone ringing]


- Hello, breadwinners.


- Hey, bap, are those dishes done yet?
- You bet they're done
-
- done waiting for you to get back so you can start washing them!
- But I can't wash those dishes.


- Why not?
- Because I have to wash these dishes.

[Cheerful digital music]


- Whoa.

Turbowasher 2000!
- Check out my moves.


- [Laughs]

You are scrubbin' like a boss!
- [Panting]


- Tell me it's two
-player, buhdeuce.


- It's two
-player, buhdeuce.


- Yes! Okay.

Loser has to do the real dishes.


- That's a deal
-io, bro
-lio.

Both: take that, dirty dishes a scrub
-a
-dub
-dub gonna clean you good eat my suds take that, dirty dishes a scrub
-a
-dub
-dub
- taste my soap
- eat my suds
- [whoops]


- Yeah, boy! [Ominous music]


- Huh.

Oh! [Huffing and puffing]


- Fine China level.


- Whew.

[Music winds down]


- Noooo!
- Yes! I win.

And you have to do the dishes.


- [Sighs]

Okay, I'll do them.

Stupid dishes, ruining everything.

Never should've bought dishes in the first place.


- No dishes for me no dishes for me I shake my Booty why? Come on, sway! Why? That's right! no dishes for me [ominous music]

[Deep growl]


- Okay, dishes, you don't like me, and I don't like you.

But the sooner we get this done, the sooner I can get back to not washing you.

Splat! Oh! [Gasping, spitting]

Right in the mouth.

That's it! No more Mr.

nice duck.

[Chomp]

Ah, crumbers.


- No dishes, yeah, for me [Humming tune]

Oh.

Swaysway, can I help? I wanna help.


- I thought you didn't want to do the dishes.


- Well, but now I'm bored, and you're doing that, so I wanna do it too.


- Be my guest, deucewasher.

[Funky music]


- [Groaning]

Waaah! Crash! [Coughs]

I'm okay.


- [Slurping]


- Oh, lickety
-spit.

This is perfect!
- What's perfect? I don't get it.


- Jelly, man.

She can clean the dishes with that big, slobbery tongue of hers.


- [Slurping]


- Duties, you have been officially shirked.


- Total shirkage!
- [Slurping]


- Game on!
- Man, this is so much better than cleaning real dishes.


- Yep, yep.

[Ominous music]

[Deep growl]


- [Chortles]

Oh, wash it good.


- Scrub
-a
-dub
-dub.


- Aaah! Both: Jelly!
- Jelly? Where are you, girl?
- Jelly?
- Jell
-bells?
- Jelly? [Spits]


- Huh.

Where could she be? Splat! [Ominous music]


- Excuse me, giant bacteria blob.

Have you seen our pet, jelly? Gah! Giant bacteria blob!
- What have you done with jelly?
- Ribbit.


- You give her back right now!
- [Roars]


- Okay, can we at least have her on the weekends?
- [Roars]


- Once or twice a month?
- [Roars]


- I am not sure I like your attitude.


- I'm not afraid of you.

Okay, I'm afraid of you.


- All right, I didn't want to do this, but you've left me no other choice, bacteria blob.

Shoe attack! Gagaba! [Both gulp]

[Screaming]


- Jelly's in trouble, and it's all our fault.


- Why didn't we just do the dishes like good little ducks? Why? Why, why, why?
- It's okay.

I know a nice train we can go live on.


- I've got a better idea.

Remember what we learned from turbo dishwasher 2000?
- That playing video games is more fun than washing dishes?
- Yes, but We also learned skills, the same skills we need to wash real dishes.

We'll just scrub that bacteria blob out of existence.


- But where are we gonna get a sponge big enough for the job? [Electricity crackling]


- Has that factory always been there? Weird, we have never noticed it before.

[Ominous music]

Both: Ow.


- [Roars]

[Both scream]

[Shrieks]


- Hang on, jelly! We're coming! [Energetic rock music]


- Ribbit.


- Bacteria blob, you may have started this
-
- well, actually, we started it with our procrastination.

But we're gonna finish it!
- Scrub
-a
-dub
-a
-dub
-a
-dub! [Cheerful digital music]

[Rock music]


- [Shrieks]


- Yeah, it's working! [Both scream]


- [Grunting]

[Music slows down]

LosingEnergy.

Can'tKeepUp.


- Hold on, bap.

It's two
-player.

[Music speeds up]

Both: take that, dirty dishes a scrub
-a
-dub
-dub gonna clean you good eat my suds take that, bacteria blob we're done procrastinating time to finish this job boom!
- Yeah!
- Whoo
-hoo
-hoo
-hoo!
- Whew.

Boy, that was hard work.

My arms feel like jelly.

Both: Jelly! Jelly? Jelly!
- Swaysway, what if she [Gulps]

Croaked? Both: Jelly!
- Come here!
- [Chuckling]


- Good girl.

Ah, welp, jelly's okay, the bacteria blob is gone, and all the dishes are sparkling clean.


- Wait, I think we missed a spot.

[Bell dings]


- Jelly, would you do the honors? Crash! [Both coughing]

This time, let's clean up our mess right away.


- Yep, yep.

Except, uh, first, I have to fold my socks.


- And I have to sharpen my pencils.


- Cut my nose hairs
- Straighten the napkins Check my horoscope
- Stare out the window
- Take a personality quiz
- Organize my belly button lint.

Wonder about the future
- Whoo!
- r
-r
-r
-r
-rocket van delivering bread in a rocket van my name is swaysway and this buhdeuce
- yep yep.


- Yeah.

Duck party!
- Get Jimmy quackers in here I'm a duck, he's a duck quack quack wiki
-quack quack a duck [scatting]

All: rocket van