01x01 - How to Saw a Woman in Half

[bunniefuu]

And here's TV's
very own Mr. Magic, Jonathan Ross!

I'm fine, thank you very much.

Hello, everyone, and welcome to

what I promise, will be,
for both the audience here

and everyone watching at home,
a truly magical night.

You know, I've always loved magic.

When I was a little kid,
I used to be enchanted by my granddad.

He'd ask me for a coin like a 10p
or something

and he would just make it vanish
into thin air.

He was a wonderful magician.
Also, unfortunately, a thief.

Because... I never got it back.

We had assembled the cream of
the conjuring community of this country.

I'm amazed I got through that sentence
without getting into trouble.

We're going to show you more magic
than a Hogwarts assembly.

And think of me, if you will,
as an immaculately suited,

ravishingly handsome Dumbledore.

Boredom! Okay

All are masters of their art, and they're
here to try and fool the men who've been

headlining Las Vegas for
the last ten years.

Penn and Teller.

In fact, the only thing bigger than them
in Vegas, is the city's electricity bill.

Now, I'm a huge fan of them,
I hope you are as well.

Before they come up on stage,
look at this.

Hey! Welcome to Vegas!

WELCOME TO FABULOUS
LAS VEGA NEVADA

My name is Penn Jillette,
this is my partner, Teller.

We're Penn and Teller.
And we have been working together

doing magic for our entire adult lives.

RIO

We've been settled down here at
the Rio in Las Vegas for about ten years.

Drop!

We're over in Britain, hoping that
somebody or many people

will be able to fool us.

Who will be able to do tricks that
we don't know how they're done.

PENN AND TELLER

We have to figure out how they did
the trick, seeing it once.

And seeing it once, from just the angle we
have in the audience,

We're not watching monitors,
we don't have sneaky camera shots,

we don't have any information in advance.

It's just us sitting there, you come on,
and you fool us.

And if you can't, go home!
If you can, come to Vegas.

If someone fools us, they will get
all their expenses paid, everything.

Fly over to Las Vegas, with us.

We'll put 'em up and we'll give 'em
our stage to be able to do their tricks.

Everybody who comes on the show tonight,
is going to be very brave.

It's really tough to do a trick for
someone

who might actually tell you
what they think afterwards.

This show is just about giving back
that first feeling

that we got when we were five years old
and first saw someone

vanish something in their hand like that.

That's a beautiful, wonderful feeling
and we want it again.

So, fool us!

They've been performing together
for 35 years!

It's incredible,
longer than most marriages.

But like all successful marriages,
the reason it works I think,

is that one doesn't allow
the other one to speak.

Here they are, it's the two,
the only, Penn and Teller!

Gentlemen. Mr. Teller! Mr. Penn!

- How you doin'?
- Glad to see you both here.

Thank you.

Everyone here is excited,
I know I'm excited.

I know you're excited as well,

because generally you would
like to be fooled, wouldn't you?

Yes, it's not competition, you know.

We just wanna,
the reason you get into magic

is there's no better feeling
than being fooled.

The longer you work in magic,
the harder it is to be fooled.

- So you're gonna watch it just the once?
- Just once, yeah.

No camera trickery, no editing,
nothing like that.

What you see at home,
is exactly what Penn and Teller see,

what everyone here in the audience sees,
and you're gonna try and work out

if you know how they do it--

Yeah, and we'll do our best
to try to figure it out.

You're not gonna tell us
exactly how it is done though,

I guess you use the language of the trade,

you'll give us enough information
to make sure

we know, they know, you know, they know,

and we will then know you know what
they have done, without us knowing.

- We'll do whatever the hell we want.
- Yeah.

Before we get on with the show,

some people may not
have had the experience

of seeing Penn and Teller
perform like before.

So now to show you, they're very much
at the very top of the tree,

Penn and Teller, ladies and gentlemen.

Before we ask you to get going,
could we ask you one small favor?

Please take out your cellphones,
your mobile phones and turn them on.

And turn the ringers up full.
We want you all loud and connected.

Hold it up just like this.

Because we are gonna pick one person
from the audience

to bring their cellphone on stage
and video

this first trick from an angle that will
show that person how it is done.

So if you have a mobile phone,

and you know how to use it,
just hold it up just like this.

We're gonna find somebody who has that.
We want to give you a promise

we all have personal information
on our cell phones.

We wanna promise you,
we won't monkey with any of that.

All we will do,
is let you video this trick

from an angle that will
show you how it's done

And I think Teller's found someone
who knows how to use her cellphone.

Come on right up here.

- What's your name, please ma'am?
- Stephanie.

Stephanie.
Right over here please, Stephanie.

Gonna move you over
on this side of me, if I may.

And Stephanie,
this is your cellphone, right here.

And you have someone with you, Stephanie,
that knows your cellphone number?

- Yes.
- And who is that, Stephanie?

- That's my friend, Emily, over there.
- Your friend Emily.

Now Emily, if you'd call Stephanie please,

I'm gonna hold the phone up
so we'll all hear the ringtone.

And I'll answer this for you,
this is Emily,

- is this right?
- Yes.

Hello, Emily, what are you wearing?

Bye!

We're gonna have you call twice more
during this bit.

So be ready for that, okay, Emily?

Would you turn in this into video mode
and start the video rolling?

- Is it rolling now?
- Yeah.

Okay, lets give you
a little thing to remember.

Good evening, my name is Penn Jillette,
my partner Teller, we are Penn and Teller

and Fool Us is proud to present Stephanie!
Yeah, give it up for her now.

Oh, this is a beautiful video,
you're gonna love this.

Look at that! Look at them
going crazy for you, Stephanie.

Stephanie, strike a pose!

Strike a pose, there you go!

Stephanie, this is beautiful.

And Stephanie,
we would never have you on stage

without giving you a video of you
with a very famous person.

Could you pose here with Elton John?
Actually it's over here in England,

so it's not just Elton John,
it is Sir Elton John.

Come over here,
Stephanie, right over here.

And just stand right next to him.

Beautiful, there he is, there's...
There's the Sir, there's the Elton John,

there's Stephanie, and there's
our wonderful audience right there.

Beautiful. Beautiful.

Stephanie, stand right
on that double blue dot, please.

There's a cup underneath your chair there,
could you give that to me, please?

Yeah, we put this under before,
this is a...

You open it up yourself, Stephanie.

That's an empty coffee cup,
it's clean and dry there.

I want you to know that,

'cause we're gonna
put your phone inside it.

When you're watching this back, Stephanie,

at this point,
you'll still hear all the audio,

but it's gonna go all white of course,
it's gonna be inside the cup.

Then, it's gonna go dark,
'cause I'm putting this on,

there's one little sip hole.

I'll put this right on here, Stephanie.
Make sure your phone is safely...

Sorry, Stephanie!

And I'm a juggler too,
that's the weird part.

Stand right here,
Stephanie, back up a bit.

I'm gonna put this right down here.

Now just focus right on that, Stephanie.

Focus on your phone,
that you saw in there.

Focus on it. Think about it and...

Mazel tov!

You know, Stephanie,
when I can't find my cellphone,

what I usually do is,
I have my wife call it.

And then everybody listens in
for the ringtone.

If we all listen and if we all point
to where the sound is coming from,

we can usually then find the cellphone.

You're gonna be so surprised, Stephanie,
the places we found my cellphone.

Very, very unusual.

Now, Emily, if you would please,

call Stephanie's phone again,
and let's all listen.

If you hear words coming from,
please point to it.

If you hear it, point to it.

Sounds like its coming...

from right down there

that very well lit, that empty seat right
next to you there.

- Yeah.
- Now, what is on that seat?

- A box that says "do not touch".
- A box that says "do not touch".

Has that box been there since you
came in to the theater?

Yeah, it has.

Take the box, pick it up,
would you please?

- The box is sealed shut, is that right?
- Yeah.

Would you hand that box forward?
Yeah, keep handing it front to this corner

and this woman right here in the corner,
when the box comes to you,

would you stand up and walk across
the gap to Stephanie here?

Now, Stephanie, come over here,
in the center of the stage here.

Now look at the box carefully,
it's sealed shut, is that right?

Would you open that box please?
Pull the tape off.

And then lift the top off the box.

Didn't...

Yeah, it shouldn't be,
just tear on this side.

And just pull, and lift the top off

and tell us
what's inside the box, Stephanie!

- It's a fish!
- A fish!

Inside the box, is a fish!

Stephanie, what kind of fish is that?

- Smelly.
- It's smelly, yes, it's also Tilapia,

which is originally an African fish,
but now aqua-farmed all over.

And I want you to use your nose,
Stephanie.

And make sure, you've already said this,
make sure that is indeed a real fish.

Teller will hold it up for you,
give that a whiff.

- Is that a real fish?
- Oh, yeah.

Okay, it's in there. Stephanie, hold this
microphone right here, would you please?

Hold it right to the fish's gills.

Now you're gonna hear a few things here,

hear the fish's head being cut off here.
Emily, call the phone again.

Hear the fish's head being cut off,
call it, Emily.

Gonna hear the guts spilling out.

Then from deep inside the bowels,
of the fish...

Oh my God!

You will hear right from in there.

From inside the fish, Stephanie!

Is that your phone right there?
That your phone right there?

And is that your pictures on it,
is that everything there, Stephanie?

Is that indeed your phone,
are you sure, Stephanie?

That's my phone.

Now Stephanie, as promised...

As promised, Stephanie,
you have a video on there

that will show how the trick is done.

Could you give us one promise?

Don't watch that video till our show's
over tonight, will you do that?

- I promise.
- And you can clean your hands off.

Oh, thank you!

In case there's a little bit of fish guts
on there. Thank you so much, Stephanie.

That's Stephanie right there,
that's Emily!

Ladies and gentlemen,
the brilliant Penn and Teller!

That's a second that took guts,
unfortunately, lots of fish guts,

but can the great illusionists themselves
be fooled?

That's what we're here to find
out this evening.

It's also worth mentioning at this point,
that unlike any other TV Magic show,

there will be absolutely no camera tricks
tonight!

Everyone in the audience here
and everyone at home,

will see exactly what happens,
with no trick edits, okay?

And we do have our own magical guru,
in the gallery,

a leading member
of the American Magicians Union

to rule out, in case of dispute,
his word will be the final one, okay?

So just like on Ayman Homes dinner plate,
the stakes are massive.

I'm back. The pressure...

the pressure is intense
and the big question is,

can anyone fool Penn and Teller?

Well, lets find out about
our first contender.

ALI COOK

Ali Cook.

Hi, I'm Ali. I'm a proper wizard.

You've probably seen some fakes
but... real deal.

I describe my style as shocking,
but then also very silly at the same time.

My mum has been a great support
over the years,

and she allows me to keep all of my
huge magic props here.

And she loves it!

No, I don't always like having
Ali's stuff in my garage.

It's everywhere!

Got two beautiful assistants in the show.

This is Beyonce, this is Shakira.

I'd rather not come home
and find one hen and one duck in my bath,

I'm just relieved that it's not
a camel and an elephant.

Instead of a clever sleight of hand trick,
I wanted to do a big stage item.

I think I'm the only person
who does this trick

and, I'm amazed, it's a great trick,
it's shocking, it's disgusting

and it's funny, all at the same time,
and I really hope they like it.

It's very smug to get "Ah, yes, I can fool
the two world's biggest magicians".

I don't know, I'm gonna give them
my best shot, but you never know.

I'll be honest,
when I was told about this,

I heard that Ali Cook was doing something
with the chicken in the dark,

I was thinking we might get
a casserole out of it, but no.

It's gonna be far more impressive
than that, would you please welcome,

with a little help from a couple of birds,
Ali Cook!

A chicken!

A duck!

You! Me! Let's do it!

Not what any of us expected either,

I don't quite know what we expected,
but we didn't expect that.

Penn and Teller sitting there, I think
a. they're gonna have a confront,

b. they're a bit concerned
you might switch their heads over.

I have never seen anything
quite like that before!

I just wanted to do something
that no one has seen, you know,

it's just totally bizarre!

We might well hear another bizarre fool
right now or maybe they've got it.

Now we're gonna go to Penn and Teller,
and find out first what do you

think of the act, guys,
what do you think about his performance?

It's an act, it's really an act
we have always wanted to see.

You read about that.

We were saying,
that if it's ancient Egyptian,

it's 'dedi' or 'deedee', D-E-D-I?

- "Deedee", yeah.
- "Deedee" is that the way it's pronounced?

Teller was talking about
the Ancient Egyptian text it's in.

It's talked about all the time,
but nobody, I don't think,

in our lifetime, has done it.

It's just absolutely wonderful
and, I will also say,

I don't wanna give too much away.
The puppetry you did, is astonishing.

The duck and the chicken have characters,
and continue those characters throughout.

I also think that you're handling,
and your assistants' handling

- of the animals...
- Yeah

...is just stunning and I would say,
you did not fool us but you blew us away.

- Fabulous.
- Thanks very much.

And really funny, really funny!

Are you satisfied that they know
what they're talking about,

you didn't fool them?

I think they know
what they're talking about, yeah.

For cash, would you do
the same trick for me

with Louis Walsh and Dannii Minogue?

Well done. Ladies and gentlemen,
the remarkable, Mr. Ali Cook!

- Thanks very much!
- God bless Ali, thank you so much.

Okay, we're gonna go straight on
with our search

to find someone to fool Penn and Teller.

Lets find out who's next to come out here
and try to win that spot in Vegas.

RICHARD BELLARS

Richard Bellars.

I'm Richard Bellars, and I've been
a professional magician for

about six- seven years.

The last 12 months have been incredible.

I was doing magic,
but I was never very good at business,

I was, you know,
good at the tricks and things

and I just sort of had enough, really,
of it not going where I wanted it to.

So I sold my entire life on Facebook.

And I went and didn't have a house,
didn't have an address,

didn't have anything at all, and I
just followed my gigs around

and did a little bit of sofa-surfing
and then I met Holly, which was great

and obviously now, six months later on,
I'm settled down,

with Holly in a lovely flat

in Tunbridge Wells
with a kid on the way.

So, it's worked out alright.

When I first met him, I didn't ask to see
a trick for a few days,

'cause I didn't wanna be one of those
annoying people, who just constantly

"Show me a trick! Show me a trick!"

But, as I've seen more of his magic,
it's just...

Did you get it?

...still baffles me,
how he does it, I love it!

When the baby's born, I'm intending to do
a cut and restore with the umbilical cord.

I'm really gonna... No, I'm not.

This is a mega opportunity, and it would
be crazy not to give it your everything.

Vegas, in Penn and Teller's show,
opening, I mean...

It's something that
everyone's gotta aspire to.

Ladies and gentlemen,
will you please welcome,

from Tunbridge Wells, Mr. Richard Bellars.

Hello, Richard.

What we're gonna talk about is a rivalry
that's really gone on

the years between gamblers and magicians.

They each have a go at each other
all the time, claiming that

their methods are more impressive
or they can cheat better.

So I'm laying down this challenge.

My skills in the art of brainwash... ery,

if it's a real word,
against your poker face.

- Okay, my poker face?
- Your poker face.

I'm going to do this
to Jonathan Ross! Yes?

Yeah!

I will ask, can we do this with you
sitting down, because you are massive.

Sure.

- Sit here?
- Yeah, that's fine, no issues there.

- Facing out? Okay.
- Yes please.

The weapon of choice for a gambler
and a magician is always the same.

- It's the humble deck of cards.
- Yeah.

Would you do the honor and just check
that they are what they appear to be?

- Take them out and do all that stuff?
- Yes.

- Perfectly normal to me.
- Yup.

- Okay!
- That's great.

To make it less comfortable for you,

you're gonna have to close your eyes now,
which is great, but before you do,

I'll give you the cards back,
once your eyes are shut.

So I'll show you what to do
with the cards.

Okay.

- You'd hold the cards in close.
- Close to my body?

So nobody can see and I want you just to
pull open somewhere

and hold that position.

Close your eyes, drop your head forward.

And in your head I want you to count
from one to ten,

just do it nice and slowly.

- And take your time--
- One up to ten or--

Yeah, just in your head.
So one, two, three,

if that helps you
with the counting to ten.

When you get to ten,
take a nice hearty breath in

and go back to one
and just repeat that process, one ten...

- Back to one.
- Good, keep doing that.

You guys are gonna be Jonathan's eyes,

because obviously, he can't see
what's going on, so you're gonna make sure

there's no way in the world
I could possibly cheat.

And see which card it is he's looking at.

So would you agree
there's no way in the world

I'll be able to see which it is

that Jonathan is about to look at?

- Yes!
- Okay

Jonathan, what I would do is put
elastic bands around the cards,

'cause it's often hard to handle cards
with your eyes open, let alone closed.

They're coming your way.

Good.

Put them close to your chest.
I'm gonna stand in front of you.

There are no cameras behind you

and all my stooges
are in the audience, so you got,

there's no way that I can see
which card it is.

I'm gonna count back from ten,
when I get to five,

just pull the deck open,
but keep your eyes closed.

- Okay.
- When I get to one, open your eyes

- and see a card from that deck.
- Okay.

Ten, nine, eight, seven, six, five,
pull it open, hold it there,

four, three, two, one, look at the card,
remember the card.

Close your eyes, close the deck.
You got one in your mind?

- So you got one of those in your mind?
- Yes.

- Okay, have you been drinking?
- No.

- Whatever!
- Whatever?

Okay. The way it's gonna work,
I'm gonna now test your poker face.

Okay.

Okay, so when you open your eyes,
it's poker face the whole way.

Okay,

Ten, nine, eight, seven, six, five, four,
three, two, one, look at me.

Don't answer the questions,
think the answers.

You can say them out loud,
that's called listening is not impressive.

Okay.

Okay.

Ace, two, three, four, five, six, seven,
eight, nine,

ten, jack, queen, you've lost interest.

Imagine if it's black, you're holding it
in your right hand,

and if it's red, it's in your left hand,
just imagine...

You don't move a lot, do you?

You play poker very, very...

Very well, I'm gonna just take it,
this is my read of Jonathan's poker face.

In a nice loud voice,
which card did you see?

Which card are you thinking of?

- Ten of hearts.
- Ten of hearts.

No way! What the what?

I'm disappointed with myself.

No, no, the thing is,

these guys are more impressed
than you at the moment,

because they saw what happened
when your eyes were shut.

When you shut your eyes,
I cheated a little bit.

Just a smidge.

You didn't have any choice of
which card you looked at,

because all the cards were the same.

No, not all ten of hearts, no no, this was
the deck you looked at, have a look.

They were all blank.

There were no cards in the deck,
they were all blank.

- I'll look at it?
- Yes please,

yeah, no the reason you saw
the ten of hearts.

Look at the box I gave you,
the cards in particular.

Hold it up, can you see what's
printed on there?

From the beginning, he was looking
at the ten of hearts.

And then I said, do you remember
the two things I said?

Breathe, and just count from one to ten

and when you get to ten,
take a hearty breath.

So ten was in my head. Ten was in my head.

I even said it's often
hard to handle cards

with your eyes open, let alone shut.

It's "OF- TEN- HARD to handle cards."
You had no choice what you saw.

I'll call that brainwashery one.
Poker face nil. Thank you very much.

Incredible. I'm sure
I saw the ten of hearts.

I was convinced I saw it, maybe I did,
maybe I didn't. I don't know.

Fella's you saw that,

you had the benefit of seeing it
without your eyes shut of course.

You confer now, you have a talk about
whether or not you know how that was done.

I was in the middle of it,
and I don't know how it was done.

- That was...
- I do!

That was remarkable,
do you think that is something

that they will have seen elsewhere,

either in this form
or in a different form?

I am hoping that it's slightly out there
enough that it's a bit of a curve ball,

you know 'cause people do things
where you take a card,

and I guess what it is, by using
a blank deck, it's a different layer.

How important is something like that
in terms of us enjoying it as an audience

but also trying to confuse these guys?
Is that part of the...

The more layers you put on,
the more confusion there is.

It's harder to dig out the method.

So that's kind of almost like
diverting your attention to there

so that we don't know.

Misdirection in the mind
rather than the eyes

Gentlemen, I am
coming over to you now,

now and ask what you thought of that
and whether or not he's fooled you.

First of all, the whole study
of psychology and implanting thoughts

in people's heads and using ten
and the heart and putting them together,

and letting them suggest to them,
mind washing of such stuff,

all of that is bullshit.

One hundred percent jive bullshit.

What he had was a gimmick deck
handled very nicely...

Thank you very much.

...and though you actually saw
a blank deck at the end,

the deck he showed us, that was all blank,

actually had another way of holding it
that showed nothing but ten of hearts.

- So I did see a ten of hearts then.
- Yes, you did.

- Is that what you're saying? Without...
- Well yeah, yeah.

It's a wonderful routine.

Beginning, middle and end,
it's just great all the way through.

But the biggest lie he told,
was that you had a good poker face!

We could all read the ten of hearts
on your face.

- That was a good poker face.
- It wasn't!

Your eyebrows were going.

- When he said ten...
- You were flashing all over the place.

I did feel myself going,

"don't let them know
it's the ten of hearts."

Richard that was great though,
a brilliant performance,

I know we will be seeing more of you.
Richard Bellars, ladies and gentlemen.

That was great! Thank you so much.
Mr. Richard Bellars!

Penn and Teller are here actually hoping
to be made fools of, so to speak.

So let's see if our next magician
will grant their wish.

MICHAEL VINCENT

Michael Vincent.

My name is Michael Vincent,

I've been passionate about magic
since the age of six.

I would describe my style of magic
as classical in its approach,

elegant in its interpretation.

The brilliant work of my mentors,

their work inspired me, and I hope my work
in the same way, will inspire someone

that's not even born yet,
and that really tickles me.

This particular award signifies when I was

the magic circles
close-up magician of the year.

I think I have what it takes
to fool Penn and Teller, will I fool them?

That remains to be seen. Can I fool them?
Absolutely!

Ladies and gentlemen,
please welcome Mr. Michael Vincent.

Hello, Michael.

- Hello, Michael.
- Very nice. Nice to meet you.

Thank you. Thank you.

Watch very closely, Queen of diamonds,
everyone, and...

...the jack of clubs.
Just extend your arms forward for me.

I'm wondering if that's a trick sleeve,
let me just try this,

if I just rub here and here, now it's
the red aces ladies and gentlemen.

However, let's take this a stage further,
there's the five of diamonds,

the jack of spades,
and if I may use my sleeves,

I think you will agree
that this is the perfect poker hand.

Watch closely, the ace of clubs
goes on the face of the pack,

ace of spades on the palm of my hand.

Is that fair enough?

The two red aces out of the way
just for the time being.

In order to create a moment
of true astonishment,

I am going to have to take
the magic out of my own hands.

Would you be so kind, can I borrow
your right hand for a second?

Palm upwards.
Can you hold the deck for me?

Since you're holding them,
there is no way I can cheat.

You don't need to say a word.
All you need to do, is watch very closely.

Look what we now have
on top of the deck. The red ace.

On the bottom of the deck,
the ace of hearts.

The red aces on the top and bottom,
ladies and gentlemen

and in the middle, the two black aces.

Thank you, thank you. Now...

Between you and me,
that was the real thing.

Now would you like to see
some pure sleight of hand?

- Yes.
- Yes.

Well, I've been practicing.

Here's the two red aces, top and bottom,
black ones in the middle.

So far so good, now you know what they say
about sleight of hand don't you?

Watch the right hand, watch that red ace.
The quickness of the hand deceives the eye

Don't feel bad, I missed it as well.

There's the two black aces,
once again top and bottom

and right back where they started,
the two red aces.

How many aces have you seen so far?

- Four.
- Four?

Actually there weren't any at all.
See, you look there's no ace on top.

Very slowly on the bottom.

Nothing trapped between my fingers,
nothing up the sleeves.

I'm gonna show you
each and every card in the pack.

You can be the eyes of the audience,

the aces do not exist,
except in your imagination.

Each and every card,
right to the very end.

I'm going to bring them back.

I'm gonna do this four times in a row,
are you ready?

You know it's funny,
even in this day and age,

they still think
magicians use their sleeves.

So all you do is cast a spell
and there's the ace of hearts.

Did you know you can even do this
with one finger?

Watch the heart as it becomes a diamond.

You know, it's almost like mass hypnosis.

It's not what you see,
but rather what you think you see,

and that is the wonder and mystery.

Thank you very much.

My friends it's been an absolute privilege
being with you tonight to share

these few moments of magic with you.

Before we part company,
I would like to thank you all

all for your kind applause
and appreciation.

My mother once said to me,

if I receive a gift with one hand,

it's always nice to return the compliment,
and give something back with the other.

So I would like to
dedicate this final piece

to all of you, my new friends,

I've been passionate about magic
for 40 years.

The history of magic,
the pursuit for technical mastery,

and also all of my mentors inspired me

to leave the craft of magic better
than I found it.

It's allowed me to communicate,

and in spite of the challenges
and chaos of life,

it's given me the courage
to look inside the chaos,

to find balance, peace, and perfect order,

which is why tonight I feel we've shared
something very special,

much more than these beautiful illusions,

we have celebrated the joy of living
through the wonder of magic,

and these 52 painted pace boards,
who each know their place.

We have celebrated an appreciation
for an ancient craft,

elegant deceptions
and a love for the mysterious.

But to celebrate life my friends,
is the only magic,

so sincerely from myself,
Michael Vincent, my two new friends,

we wish each and every one of you,
a life of peace, joy and happiness.

We wish good health, prosperity, and may
the spirit of magic be with you always.

Thank you. Thank you.

Mr. Michael Vincent, ladies and gentlemen.
Wow, come over here

We are going to let Penn and Teller
have a little chat,

work out whether or not
they have any idea how it was done.

I think I speak for everyone here
by saying a, that was amazing

- Thank you.
- B.

That no one here has any idea
how that could be done.

I'm on the verge of saying
we should burn you at the stake.

One of the things I love doing, is turning
experienced magicians into normal people.

So I am hoping that I got them to
look in the wrong place at the right time.

Well, they seem a little stumped to me,

I think we may well have
our first person going to Vegas.

That would be great. Okay, let's go over.

I think we have given them
long enough, don't you?

Let's move over now. Michael?

Gentlemen?
Gentlemen, gentlemen, gentlemen,

first of all, remarkable up-close magic,

I would have thought,
regardless of whether--

Perfect, wonderful, and also classic.

When you first get into magic,
this is what you are trying to learn.

I will just tell the people at home,
because I think it makes it more amazing,

there was no trick deck whatsoever used.

This is what a person can do with
just their hands and a deck of cards.

This is not hours, not days,
this is decades of practice.

Old school magic

I drove him crazy, you made wonderful
polite eye contact with me,

and I looked down at your hands.

The only people that would do that is us,
and psycho K*llers.

You had one of us
burning one of your hands,

and one of us burning your other hand--

So you were watching the left hand,
you were watching the right hand.

We were watching,
we were separating it.

The audience was keeping an eye
on what was going on in the middle, right?

Absolutely. That having been said,
because it's classic magic,

I think you know that we know the moves.

I'm not surprised.

The very ending, the shuffling,

right side up, and up side down,
is wonderful.

And I am going to say something
rather cryptic to you...

Okay.

...and I'm hoping
the audience won't understand,

because you did it so beautifully,
I really don’t want--

Can I just say, that we have only
understood about 10% of what

- you've actually said.
- Okay.

I think you are home clear on this one.

But we believe, at the end,
to do that wonderful ending,

we believe that you rang in the cooler,

and we think you did it
when you brought the deck across,

- is that correct?
- Okay.

Is that legal? To ring in a cooler?

Did you ring in a cooler?

I have to bow to superior knowledge
and intellect.

You did a wonderful job,
it's nice to see those moves.

Michael Vincent, ladies and gentlemen!
What a fabulous performance.

It's a little better than that,
as a matter of fact!

Tonight Penn and Teller
have challenged Britain

to perform tricks that can fool them.

Anyone who can
successfully bamboozle them,

will win an all expenses paid trip
to Las Vegas

to open their world famous magic show.

So far no one has managed to fool
Penn or indeed Teller.

It's time for us to hear
about our next contender.

Let's all meet him now.

JOHN ARCHER

John Archer.

My name is John Archer, I am the same age
as Jonathan Ross which is 50.

Sorry Jonathan, I'm a comedy magician.

I have got my happy shirt on,
got a microphone,

got a load of empty seats.
It's like all the gigs I do.

They're looking great out there.

I suppose it is a bit of a strange thing,
but I was a police man for ten years

up in the North East of England,
Stockton on Tees, Cleveland constabulary.

So I have probably been been doing magic
either as a hobby or professionally

for about 25 years.

There can't be many jobs
where the whole point of your job

is to make people feel good.

There are a few jobs
but maybe we shouldn't mention them.

The main thing I want
my audience to think is, he's a nice guy,

we had a good time, we love him.

Let's all welcome our next contender,
I think you are going to love him,

Mr. John Archer.

Hi, good evening, hi,
it's good to see you all.

It's good to be here, my name,
as you know, is John Archer

and I am a comedy magician,

I tell you that nice and early,
because you are all looking at me

at the moment thinking,
he looks more like a builder.

And I must admit that I am
laying a few bricks at the moment.

People often ask me, can magicians use

their skills to their own advantage,
and of course the answer is yes.

I am going to try and demonstrate that
with a simple little trick.

It's a simple little trick,
ladies and gentlemen,

using five envelopes.

I am going to tell you a little bit
about the envelopes before we start.

Four of the envelopes are worthless.

They contain nothing,

apart from a John Archer
commemorative zero dollar bill

printed on my own computer when it was
low on ink, they are not very nice.

However, one of the envelopes
contains one hundred pounds.

Exactly.

Now a lot of people are doing
more impressive tricks than this,

this is a one in five, people are doing
amazing tricks here tonight.

This is just a one in five.

But I am the only act
who is wagering his life savings.

We are going to start
with this gentleman,

I am going to tell you a little bit about
the envelopes, sir, what's your name?

- Tarik?
- Tarik. Wonderful, Tarik,

I will tell you about the envelopes.
They've got something written on them.

That helps me play the little game,
it helps me get manage to get ahead.

The first envelope has
something written on it.

SOMETHING

Now this is the only envelope
that has something written on it.

Though all of the other envelopes
have something written on them,

but it's not something,
it's something else,

even though it's not something else.

written on them.

Okay, don't try and work it out.

The question you have to
ask yourself, Tarik,

is would I put the money in the envelope
that's got something in it, when we know

for a fact, that all the envelopes
have something in them.

Even the ones that
don't have the something you want.

You're thinking too much.

If you don't go for
envelope number one, Tarik,

you might go for envelope number two

NOTHING

Envelope number two says nothing, even
though it says something,

but as I promised,
it's not something else.

The question you've got to ask yourself,
is would I put the money in the envelope

that says it has nothing in it, that seems
a little bit too obvious,

but maybe it's a double double bluff.

No.

These aren't really questions I'm looking
for answers for, but thank you, sir.

When I read the script, I can't remember
seeing your name so often.

Tarik, if you don't go

for envelope number two
which has nothing on it

go for envelope number 3
which says yours.

YOURS

Everybody likes
what is rightfully theirs

but this isn't theirs it's yours.

But the question is, would I put the money
in the envelope that says it's yours.

But of course you read it,
and think it's mine

but it's not mine its yours,
it says on the front.

Now, if you don't go for
envelope number three that says "yours"

go for envelope number four
which says "mine"

MINE

And you will notice,
that mine is much bigger than yours.

Get over it, its genetics.

The question is, would I put the money
in the envelope that says it's mine

when obviously that would be the obvious
place to put it,

because you might read it
and think it's yours,

but it's not yours
'cause the other one was yours,

so this must be mine,
maybe that's where the money is.

Tarik, if you don't go for
envelope number four

you might go for the last envelope,
envelope number 5.

SEX

Envelope number 5 says sex.

The question is would I put the money
in the envelope that says sex?

Who knows?

Maybe I am gambling
that you're not the type of man

who would ask for sex
in an open public forum.

Tarik do me a favor, stand up.

Wonderful Tarik
here's what's gonna happen.

I'm gonna count to three,

I'll ask you to name
one of the envelopes.

Just check the envelope you name,
that is the envelope you get.

One, two, three.

- Sex.
- You want sex?

Such a shame, so many girls,
you had to choose an envelope.

Tarik take sex.

Tarik, open up the envelope.

Inside you will find a John Archer
commemorative zero dollar bill,

is that correct?

Hold it up, let me have a look!

Give him a big round of applause,
ladies and gentlemen!

Thank you, Tarik, you can have a seat.

Hi, this gentleman here,
what's your name, sir?

- Hanni?
- Hanni? Wonderful, Hanni.

Same thing for you,
I don't have to explain the envelopes,

we have got something, we've got nothing,
we've got yours and mine.

I'll count to three, and you choose
one of the envelopes.

One, two, three.

- Nothing.
- You want nothing? You sure?

In which case you will get nothing.
Take nothing.

- Thank you.
- Open it up.

Hanni, inside you will find a John Archer
commemorative zero dollar bill.

Is that correct?

Yep. Hold it up let me have a look. Yes!

Have a seat. Thank you very much.

Now this lady here. Hi, what's your name?

- Zara.
- Zara. Wonderful, Zara.

Unfortunately sex is gone.
Not necessarily for you, but for me.

But there are three...

Three envelopes left,
we've got something, yours or mine.

I'll count to three. Your too keen.
Shame sex has gone. One, two, three.

- Yours.
- You want yours? Okay, take yours.

Wonderful, open it up, have a look inside,
inside you will find a John Archer

commemorative zero dollar bill,
is that correct?

Yeah.

There it is, give her a big round
of applause, ladies and gentlemen.

Thank you, you can have a seat.

Leaves me with two envelopes, let me see.

This gentleman here, you look keen.
Stand up sir.

You've got a choice now
between "something" and "mine."

I am going to count to three,
I'll ask you to name one,

but would you be surprised if I already
knew the choice you were going to make?

- Have you made your mind up?
- Yes.

Would I be correct if I said you were
going to choose something?

Yes.

You see how easy this is?

Even though I give you the choice,
I can still tell you

which one you are going to choose.

But I'm going to give you the chance to do
something that nobody else could do.

I am going to give you the chance
if you want, to change your mind.

- Do you want to do that?
- No

You don't? It's a shame,
it would have helped.

Take the envelope, open it up.

Inside you will find a John Archer
commemorative zero dollar bill.

- is that correct?
- Correct.

Nothing else in the envelope,
hold it up and show everybody.

Give him a big round of applause!
Here it is!

Which leaves me ladies and gentlemen,
with "mine."

See you could have all had what's mine,

but, oh no, you wanted something, or sex.

But if you had just been brave enough
to ask for what's mine,

you would have got it,
ladies and gentlemen,

the one envelope containing 100 pounds.

Thank you very much.

Oh yeah. Work that out!

No, no. They don't believe me.

But inside the envelope,
ladies and gentlemen, there is indeed...

Twenty, forty, sixty, eighty,
one hundred pounds.

Thank you.

Mr. John Archer,
ladies and gentlemen!

- Fabulous. Fabulous. Fabulous.
- Thank you very much.

I saw the guys there,
Teller looked genuinely mystified.

Is this an illusion
they might be aware of,

or is it a totally new thing?
Or a partially new thing?

I came up with it, so whether they've seen
somebody else do my trick or my method,

it's possible,
but whether they've worked it out,

'cause, you know, they are clever men.

Have you ever performed in Vegas?

No.

I have a good feeling about this.
I've got a pretty good feeling.

Oh look, they are looking at
the envelopes, oh my word.

They can look at the envelopes,
can't they?

You're not worried about that?

- No, I'm not too worried.
- Yeah, yeah.

They can do what the heck
they like, can't they?

Can I just ask you...

Have you ever pulled that way,
the whole sex line?

Do you ever get any numbers?

No, no, look at me. I never pulled anyway.

It's all padding.

I've just pulled. I've just pulled.

You see, but this is a good sign,
this is a good sign,

because they're still talking about it,

and they are still
looking at the envelope.

We should have a clock.
We should time them out!

Okay, guys, I'm gonna cut this short,

because I think we have given them
long enough, don't you?

Yes.

Mr. Penn, Mr. Teller? Have you got it?
You look a little bit confounded?

Wow! It's a funny routine,
it's just silly.

It's not really supposed to fool us.

No it's not! It's god-damn envelopes.

I think we might
be on to something here.

We won't...

We will not go down without a fight.

We think that he must have been holding
the 100... is it pounds you call it here?

- Yes, we call it pounds.
- The hundred pounds.

All the time among the envelopes,
there was a little bit fishy

the way he held the envelopes.

- But not much. Not much fishy.
- Enough to fool you for a while.

- I'm kind of, I'm kind of...
- Never mind.

Don't give in too easily though

because I am not going to
let you get away with just saying

we think it's this, we think it's that.

I want a specific... you to say
the method, or else...

I'll tell you...

Okay, I'll tell you that we think you had

a matching orange envelope
that could fit in here,

that had the £100 in it, that you were
manipulating the whole time,

and was there all the time,
waited until they were all done,

and then did a slide in like this
and opened it up and pulled it back out.

That's all we've got. 'Cause you...

- If you did fool us, you did fool us.
- I can honestly say,

I don't slide anything inside
to any of the envelopes.

The most important thing about this is,
we are supposed to feel amazed

and we are supposed to feel like
we didn't know how it was done,

and the truth of the matter is,

we feel amazed, and we really
do not know how it's done.

Let me hear you say those words.
Let me hear you say, "He fooled us!"

Well, well... I think in my heart...

- Spit it out.
- ...he fooled us!

Yes!

John, you're going to Vegas.
Well done man.

- Congratulations.
- Thank you very much. Thank you.

John Archer from Stockton,
ladies and gentlemen.

You are going to Vegas man,
good luck!

John Archer.

John, sit back down, sit back down.

I don't know whether you deserve to be
up here anymore.

God damn it!

That was great. It's kind of what
you came here hoping to find?

Yes! But not by him!

- Not by envelopes!
- Not by envelopes!

So there you go, we've already seen
one act fool Penn and Teller.

Let's meet our next potential fooler.

JAMES MORE

James More.

I'm James More, I'm 22 and I've been

a professional magician now
for the past five years.

I first got into it when I was
about eight years old,

I did a school talent show,
and I won five pounds.

My magic style is a contemporary style.

Not too bad.

I live in a house in London
with four house-mates,

one is a ventriloquist, two are actors
and one is a singer, song-writer.

These guys are really inspiring,
whenever I am home,

we create together,
we help each other out.

Performing to Penn and Teller
is going to be nerve-wracking,

these guys are gonna be
very difficult to impress,

they have been doing it
longer than I have been alive,

just hopefully they are going to
appreciate my performance,

and hopefully my unique twist
and style on magic.

Will you please welcome a star who
combines music, dance moves and magic

to wow audiences all over the world.

Imagine if you will,
Lady Gaga with a disco wand.

Its James More!

That was quite something, wasn't it?

Ladies and gentlemen, your
appreciation for Mr. James More.

Great stuff. Thank you.

I've never seen anything like that.
I don't know whether Penn & Teller have.

I'm looking for a device like that
after Christmas

to help me get a little bit smaller.

I don't know if it would work
in quite that way,

but I guess you can't put on weight
if you're gonna go--

That's right, as long as
you can get in there,

you're gonna keep in good shape.

How confident do you feel?

Obviously, it must be nerve-wracking,
performing anyway,

but performing in front of Penn & Teller
makes it doubly so.

- It does indeed.
- What do you think? Has he fooled you?

I love the fact that you're doing
the box trick with yourself.

So often, magicians come out

and they gesture to someone else
to do all the work.

As a matter a fact,
I like to do that, an awful a lot.

I love to gesture to someone else.

I love the fact that you got in,
and you did it, and did a wonderful job,

and I also think you've done something
that neither one of us could ever do,

and that is perform in short sleeves
with great triceps.

Now I'll do exactly what I said,
and I will gesture to someone else

and have him do the work,

and Teller has drawn a diagram
of how we think you did that last trick,

and he'll show it to you,

and you can take a look at it
and tell us if Teller's close enough

and whether we have been fooled
or not, your call.

- You've not been fooled.
- Okay.

But thank you very much
for the opportunity.

So watch it,
we'll keep this secret for you.

No one needs to ever know
how you did that.

Ladies and gentlemen, Mr. James More.
Well done, James, great show, thank you.

So far, one man has managed to fool
Penn & Teller, he was John Archer,

let's see if anyone else can join him
on the plane to Vegas.

Ladies and gentlemen, its time for us
to meet our next contender.

BENJAMIN EARL

Benjamin Earl

Fancy a game of blackjack?
I'll let you win.

My name's Benjamin Earl, I'm 29 years old

and I've been a professional magician now
for the past 6 years.

Ninety percent of what I do involves

a huge amount of sleight of hand
and psychology.

My passion for magic
is inextricably linked

to my passion for gambling
and hustle and scam.

He's been into magic
since before I knew him.

I've realized that he loves something else

as much as he loves me
and even more so sometimes.

I go to Vegas quite regularly, and I've
seen Penn & Teller's show in Vegas

and it's phenomenal,
it's a world class show.

So it would be incredible
to open for them.

HARRY HOUDINI
KING OF CARDS

CARDSHARK

I'm going to attempt
a sleight of hand piece.

Hopefully I think,
I can fool Penn & Teller with this.

It really will have to make me
work on the night

because it's going to test my skills live.

It's Mr. Benjamin Earl,
ladies and gentlemen.

Everything you're about to see today
is pretty much informed by this image.

This for me, kind of elegantly sums up

the idea of sleight of hand
with playing cards

and the world of the card shop.

So hopefully, if I can bring
this demonstration full circle,

I can end by leaving you with this image.

So without further ado, Penn & Teller,
before today you were asked to bring

a deck of cards with you.

A genuine, normal deck of cards,
no markings, sneakiness or other madness.

And would you mind bringing those up
for me, and joining me up here.

Thank you very much.

Nice and smoothly.

So, I'm going to try and memorize these
as quickly as I can.

I can't talk and do this
at the same time, so here goes.

Okay, here goes.

I'll try and do this again one handed.

Yep...

I doubt it myself, now, it's up to you.

Teller, left or right handed,
which would you like?

Left handed? Second choice?

I'm not that clever,
I can only do this right-handed.

Now I did promise you
at the very beginning,

that I would leave you with an image.

That was quite something,
wasn't it?

Fellas, do you want to confer over there?
Why don't we go over here a little bit?

That was remarkable,
really was, I mean...

And especially when you switched
one hand at the end there,

I was watching both their faces,
they're studying you intently.

That was their pack of cards,
you had no contact with that before?

That's right, that's right.

It was slightly difficult. It was...
just trying to keep this.

Does that go wrong on you?
Are there times when you--

Never, no no.

Okay, come back over.

What I want to tell you is,

this is the style
that we wanted to fool us.

We did not want an ex-police officer

with five envelopes to be the one
that took us down to Chinatown.

The style that you have, that very c*ck,
aggressive,

I can do anything style is wonderful.

The showing the card at the beginning
for at the end is really wonderful.

And even saying the memorizing
the whole deck,

and then moving the attention
to the four aces,

which is a wonderful kind of
psychological misdirection.

You've told us you're memorizing
the whole deck,

you've told us
you're looking at the whole deck.

And I really... and I don't want to get
too jargony on this,

but you locate your four aces,
move them into position,

your false shuffles are wonderful,
everything was smooth and wonderful,

perfectly done and did not fool us.

I want to pull you up on something here.
You said a false shuffle, didn't you?

- Was there a false shuffle?
- There was no false shuffle.

There was... no. There was no...

Never mind "no no." Never mind "no no."
You can no no as much as you like Penn,

there was not a false shuffle

There was not a full deck false shuffle,
but he was retaining the aces.

Oh, I see. So suddenly it's
a full deck false shuffle.

So can I ask you, though, Ben?
Was there a half false shuffle?

No.

You weren't retaining the cards at all?

I was having to locate them,

but I'm having to
track them through shuffles,

but there's no false shuffles.

So hold on, I'm just being fed some stuff
from upstairs from the consultant,

just to check something. Fire away.

Okay, I've been told
there is no half deck false shuffle,

There is no false shuffle, you are wrong.

Right.

That means we're right,
because we have a team, did you know that?

We have a team, Benjamin.
I think you have to say those words.

Okay, okay, I think you fooled us.

He fooled 'em! I love this show.

- Two fools, two fools.
- Yes, absolutely.

Congratulations.
You're going to Las Vegas.

You're performing with Penn & Teller.

Awesome. Benjamin Earl,
ladies and gentlemen.

- That was quite something, wasn't it?
- Fabulous.

Okay, well we've still got
some tricks up our sleeves,

stick around and prepare to be amazed

by none other than Mr. Penn & Mr. Teller

PENN & TELLER:
FOOL US

BACKSTAGE

We can go back and forth
on the on the false cut thing,

I mean, the false shuffle thing.

Jonathan, Jonathan doesn't even know
what we're talking about.

There were some shuffles there
that weren't...

That weren't legitimate shuffles,
but that's not where the point is.

And we did catch the palm at the end,
there was some stuff in the middle

that I hadn't seen before, I can't do,
I don't know where it is.

Do you... were you?
The whole middle section,

middle section of the first section,
you were fooled, right?

I was fooled too, he fooled us.

Its been an incredible evening, we've seen
some fabulous acts and two of them.

I didn't necessarily think we'd see one,
but two of them,

John Archer and Ben Earl,
have both fooled Penn & Teller

and are on their way to Las Vegas.
That's incredible, isn't it?

Now as a special treat to close tonight,
you guys have promised to reveal

how the most famous trick in magic
is done, is that right?

Yep.

This is one of the most famous,
the most celebrated, most imitated,

we've all seen it, but now we're
going to find out the nuts and bolts,

the inner workings of this trick.

Ladies and gentlemen,
prepare yourselves for an absolute treat,

as I give you
for the last time this evening,

the fabulous Penn & Teller.

Yeah, this is, this is the trick
you always want to see in a magic act.

This is the standard,
this is sawing a woman into halves,

and we've brought a showgirl
from Las Vegas, Nevada, Georgie Bernasek.

We're gonna put her in the box here,
watch your step there, Georgie.

Now we're putting Georgie
in a cheap plywood box

and filling her beautiful legs
with splinters,

we'll then add insult to that injury

and put these stocks around her,
watch your shoulder there Georgie,

it looks like your hair's in your eyes.

Now this is the only trick that we do,
that is right off the rack.

You can buy this whole set up,
just like this from a magic dealer.

The one change we made is the saw blade.

The one that comes with it,
if you buy it, is cheap aluminum.

We put a really heavy steel blade
in there, and we're all set.

If Georgie can do a little acting for us.
Here we go, right here.

And do a little screaming
when you're being sawn.

That's beautiful.

Then to show she really is separated,
we'll then put these blades in here,

and there you have it,
Georgie and Bernasek,

a woman sawn into halves right there.
That's Georgie right there.

Now if we were sitting in those chairs

and we were trying
to figure out how this was done,

if we were trying not to get fooled,

the first thing you'd notice is,
that we would hurry up right away.

When you see magicians do this trick,

right away they throw
the box back together,

pull the blades out, get her to stand up

and get her off stage
as quickly as they can.

And the reason they hurry so,

is all magicians know
that this image right here

is the most vulnerable part
of the whole trick.

Now magicians know if they let an audience
stare at this moment for too long,

everyone can figure out the trick.

We're okay with that.

And the first thing you notice,

is it's based on
a pretty flimsy psychological principle.

You're not supposed to notice
the change in height

when someone goes
from vertical to horizontal.

And Georgie's a rather special case,
'cause Georgie's almost 6 foot 3.

So bring her out on my side of the stage,
I'm 6'7.

You're not supposed to notice
when she lay down,

she shrunk right up to five foot ten.

Once you notice that,
you realize the table top

is not as thin as you first thought.

the trim is thin,
but the black goes back in a wedge.

Then underneath,
the box has plenty of depth

to conceal that part of Georgie

that's no longer accounted for.

So the blade doesn't really come
that near to Georgie.

I mean, you can't even... You can't even
feel the breeze off that, can you Georgie?

And its completely safe,

because there's a metal rod in place,
that stops the saw-blade from going to...

No, no! No! No! No!

She's okay! She's okay! She's okay!
She's... she's... she's...

Actually, she's not okay.

She's not okay at all, there's some...
there's some pathology there.

It's clearly Teller's fault,

to a jury of my peers,
goodnight everybody.

Well that's all we've got time for
this evening, ladies and gentlemen.

Don't worry about it, I'm sure it will
all be fine, see you again, bye.