02x04 - Knife of the Party

[bunniefuu]

From the Penn & Teller Theater
in Las Vegas, Nevada,

here's our host, Jonathan Ross!

Thank you very much.

Thank you. You're very kind.

Thank you.

Welcome to Penn & Teller: Fool us.

Tonight, the game is simple.
Our famous duo will try and figure out

what tricks, cards, or really long scarves

our acts have up their sleeves.

Now, any magician who manages to fool them
gets to return here to Vegas

to perform with Penn and Teller as
part of their world-famous nightly show.

So, let's meet our main men
who, rumor has it,

were the real-life inspiration
for Grumpy and Bashful,

which I guess makes me Dopey...

...here they are. It's Penn and Teller!

Teller, fabulous to see you.

Penn, as always, great to have you.
Penn and Teller, ladies and gentlemen.

Gentlemen, if you'd like to take
your chairs, the show can get started.

Penn and Teller, ladies and gentlemen!

So sit back and get ready to be amazed

because it's time to meet
our first magician.

My name is Austin Janik
and I'm from Simi Valley, California.

My personal style is youthful energy
because I am only 16 years old.

I first got into magic through my dad
who, early in my life,

would always just show me
small magic tricks.

Aside from magic, I also am involved
in a lot of other activities.

Speech and debate, robotics,
as well as competitive diving.

Even from the youngest age,
I would go around to restaurants

performing magic
for the patrons who were there.

At first when they see this young kid,
they don't expect it to be any good.

But what was really impressive

was the moment when they realized...

...that they were being fooled,
they were being amazed.

I don't know
if I'm gonna fool Penn and Teller,

but I definitely hope to impress them.

Will you please welcome Austin Janik?

Because magic relies on misdirection,

a lot of people think of it
as sort of a dishonest endeavor.

However, it was actually
American magician Karl Germain

who said that magic
is the only honest profession.

A magician promises to deceive you,

and he does.

So to illustrate this, I'm gonna have

- Jonathan come up and join me here.
- Sure. Nice to meet you, Austin.

Nice, thank you so much, Jonathan.

What I'm gonna have you do is,
as I go through the cards,

just say "stop" at some point.

- Stop.
- Right there?

- Yeah.
- All right, we're gonna take the next card

from where you stopped,
and we can all take a look at what it is.

You have the Queen of Spades.

So I'm gonna let you
hold on to the Queen of Spades.

- Okay.
- And I want you to take it,

hold it horizontally,

- and then tear it neatly in half.
- Okay.

All the way down, neatly in half.

Perfect.

All right, now what I want you to do
is take one piece

- and just place one on top of the other...
- Okay.

...and then you're gonna tear it
in half again along the side there.

One tear, and you know what?
We're gonna do it again.

- Yeah, you know, you really...
- So, one more time...

...called the wrong guy up here.
Feel that, there's nothing.

- I know.
- There's nothing. Okay.

One more time, put all the pieces again,

tear it one more time
to get eight equal pieces with the cards.

Almost.

All right, there you go.
Round of applause

- for the perfect show...
- Thank you.

...and feat of strength.

Go ahead, take the pieces,
place them face-up there on the table.

And I also have a few paper clips here.

Go ahead and just select
one of those paper clips.

Okay.

All right, now, I'm gonna
paper clip all of these pieces together,

but I'm gonna let you
hold on to one of your pieces first.

- Okay.
- The rest get sealed...

...with the paper clip.

Now, go ahead, take your piece.
Show it up to the camera

so that the audience can see
the distinct tear you've created.

That tear is only matched

by the rest of the pieces
locked in the paper clip.

But from the right light and angle,

we can get something else.

Sealed in a paper clip,
and this is my student I.D.

Now, the strange thing is,

all of the pieces are gone and
I normally keep this I.D. in my wallet,

so if what was in my wallet
is now here in my hands,

maybe we'll find all of your pieces
inside of my wallet.

Inside...

I don't have a bunch of pieces,
but what I do have is one single card.

Now, you selected the Queen of Spades.

I'm holding the Queen of Spades,

but it's missing one piece.

So I want you to verify...

...for proof-positive identification,
do the two cards match perfectly?

They really do. Look at that.

It's a perfect match. How about that?

I'll take the piece from you, Jonathan.
The Queen of Spades.

Now, very single ridge on this card

makes it a perfect match
with the other piece.

Now, in the same way,
it's the small details of our signature

that make it so unique.
So, I have a marker here.

What I want you to do is
go ahead and sign your name

across your Queen of Spades.

That'll add a secondary mark
of identification.

- There.
- Excellent.

Now, I'm gonna take the marker

and I'm gonna also
just put my initials here

on the Queen of Spades.

Just like that.

Now, theoretically, as a magician,

I can restore
this final piece onto the card,

but that would remove
the tear that's proof of the magic.

Instead, it would be far better
to turn this piece over and restore it...

...backwards...

...so that we get

your initials on the front,

my signature on the back.

You can hang on to that.

Thank you so much
for helping me, Jonathan.

Wow. Wow. Wow.

- Thank you, everybody.
- Austin Janik, ladies and gentlemen.

Come around the front here, young man,
and we'll talk.

Now, how long
have you been studying magic for?

When did you start doing magic?

Well, my dad would show me magic tricks

back as long as I can remember
when I was probably five.

But I picked up
my first book on sleight-of-hand

when I was nine years old,

and since then I've performed
everywhere I had the opportunity,

- restaurants or gas stations, wherever.
- Yeah.

You, you've been home-schooled
by your parents, I believe.

- Is that right?
- Yes, home-schooled all the way through.

But when you're home-schooled
if you want to not go to school,

where do you go
when you don't, that's what I...

That's the drawback.

- I'm stuck, you know.
- That was the most...

If I'm grounded, I'm still in school...

...so I, detention forever, I guess.

Let's find out what they thought.

Ladies and gentlemen, over to Penn.

I am absolutely amazed that at, um,



uh, this many people,
this many cameras around,

no "uhs" or stammers or "ums"
or "buts" or "you knows."

Just clean patter all the way through,
spoken beautifully.

I was as impressed with that
as even the magic,

just a kind of style
and a way of carrying yourself

that was just beautiful.
I just thought...

- Thank you.
- ...it was a great performance.

Thank you so much.

And then, your sleight of hand
was the same way. Abs...

Everything was just clean
and well-rehearsed.

The, um, the twisting the Aces,
which I think, Derek Dingle trick

which you had
a little kicker in the end...

Yeah.

That you changed on there
was done beautifully.

That, the mis-made card,
the corner turned around,

we believe that's an actual
commercial thing,

but you don't...

In buying magic,
you don't really buy magic.

You can buy that commercial product,

and then it is hours and hours
and hours of work

to learn how to handle that.

So, although you did not fool us,

you absolutely amazed us and blew us away.

- You just destroyed it.
- Thank you so much.

Just absolutely wonderful. And we have...

Since you have something
you could buy in a shop,

here's something else
you could buy in a shop.

- This is the Penn and Teller magic kit...
- Thank you so much, sir.

And I think
you know everything in there,

but it's a chance to have our picture.

You can cut it out,
put it on your wall there.

- Thank you so much, Penn and Teller.
- Thank you so much.

Austin Janik,
ladies and gentlemen.

- Thank you so much.
- Great work, young man.

- Fabulous stuff. Take care.
- Thank you.

Austin Janik.

It's time to meet our next fooler.

Hi. I'm the Amazing Allison.

I live right here in Viva Las Vegas.
I'm a mentalist.

I love my Krav Maga.

I sh**t g*ns.

I ride motorcycles.
I'm a really bad-a*s girl.

My father taught Navy Seals
and taught me how to read people.

Go ahead, take a look at it.

And that's really where
it all began with me

with this obsession of mentalism.

Tell me exactly
what card was it that you chose?

Nine of Hearts.

The Nine of Hearts.

Being a girl in a mentalist world
is definitely a lonely place to be.

Starting out, I was kind of shunned.

But after a while,
once they started to realize

that I'm here to stay,
they started to actually see me as a peer.

If you aren't gonna stand by me,
then move.

Will you please welcome Amazing Allison?

Hi, everyone. Thanks so much.

My name is the Amazing Allison,
but I actually do need

two more amazing performers
to please join me onstage.

Penn, will you please? Teller, please?
Give them a round of applause.

- You want me here?
- Yes, please.

- Okay.
- And Mr. Teller right there.

- Perfect, thank you.
- Thank you.

Well, guys, as you know, I am a mentalist,
so I am planning on doing a little bit of

- what most people know as mind reading.
- Okay.

So, Penn, I'm gonna start with you.

You tend to be
a little bit more analytical, you,

you're a numbers guy, so I'm gonna try
something with numbers with you.

Okay.

I'm gonna make
a little thought-bubble for you, okay?

This is going to simulate
what you are thinking.

Okay.

I'm gonna have you
think of a two-digit number,

let's say between 25 and 100.

- Okay.
- Don't say it out loud.

You're gonna write it down

- in your thought-bubble...
- Mmm-hmm.

...then you're gonna fold it
right up into quarters.

Make sure that
nobody else sees it but you.

- Okay, okay.
- Okay?

Don't do it yet.
I'm gonna turn away, okay?

And I do not show it to the camera...

Do not. Do not show it to anyone.

Teller, my friend.

You are definitely...

You're definitely
the more, um, artistic, creative,

imaginative one,

so what I'd like to do with you...

You're going to draw a picture.

Now, this can be something simple.

Don't make it too complex.

You could draw anything you want, okay?

Anything... You want.

Now, I'm not
influencing you at all, right?

Once you've done your drawing,

just flip it downward
so that I can't see it.

I'm gonna turn away now

- so you guys can both do your thing.
- Okay.

We're ready.

Oh, thank you for letting me know.

Okay, so, if you would...

- Okay.
- Now, I'm just gonna recap here.

I did ask you to come up

- with a two-digit number...
- Yes, you did.

- ...between 25 and 100...
- Yes, you did.

...and nobody did see this number,
is that correct?

- That's correct. No one has.
- Okay, I'm glad.

I'm gonna tear this up
right in front of you

so nobody else is gonna know.
There we go. Perfect.

Now I'm gonna need your hands for this.

Just like this. Perfect.

Now, there's three reasons
why I'm gonna hold your hands.

- Okay.
- First reason is

- you have a fabulous manicure.
- Well, thank you.

Second reason is,

I'm actually feeling little
micro-twitches in your pulse right now...

- Yep.
- ...and the third reason is

I just wanted to hold your hands.

Oh, that's nice.

Yeah, so, now,
I just want you to concentrate

- on your number for me, okay?
- Mmm-hmm.

Concentrate...

That's pretty hot.

- Mmm-hmm.
- All right!

Now, I definitely got something from you.

Uh, I don't have a timer,
so what I'm gonna have you do

is you're gonna time me, okay?

You're gonna count one, one thousand,
two, one thousand.

Or if you like "Mississippi"
or "hippopotamus", it's up to you.

I like all those things.

Okay!

So just start counting
whenever you're ready

and I'll tell you when to stop, all right?

- Whenever you're ready.
- Start!

One Mississippi, two Mississippi,

three Mississippi, four Mississippi,
five Mississippi, six Mississippi,

seven hippopotamus...

...eight Mississippi, nine Mississippi...

- Done.
- ...ten...

Nine Mississippi hippopotamuses. Okay.

Now, I'm sure you're familiar

- with Las Vegas.
- Yeah.

Well, I gave myself


Okay.

So, do you see your number in this box?

- I, uh...
- In these boxes?

I don't.

What was your number?

- My number was 26.
- Twenty six.

I'm gonna put
your number right there. There...

- That way it is on the page, 26.
- Okay.

- Okay, I see that, yeah.
- Better?

Okay, so let me just show you
something really cool, okay?

- And this, I'm very proud of this.
- Okay.

- How 'bout six and one is seven...
- Yeah.

...plus 12 is 19,

- plus seven is 26.
- Twenty six.

Eleven and eight is 19

plus five is 24 plus two is...

Twenty six.

Five and 10 is 15

plus three is 18 plus eight is...

Twenty six.

Four and seven equals 11,
plus six plus nine is...

Twenty six.

Six and 11, five plus four is...

Twenty six.

Eight and one, nine, plus 10 is 19

- plus seven is...
- Twenty six.

- Twenty-six here. Twenty-six there.
- Twenty-six there.

Now, Tivo,
you guys can Tivo this if you want to.

Pause it, this is all correct.

But let's take it a step further.

How about six and eight
is 14 plus three

is 17 plus nine, 26.

Seven and five
plus 10 plus four, 26.

Now, we won't stop there. There's more.

Six plus seven is 13
plus four is 21 plus five is...

- Twenty six. How about this?
- Mmm.

These two here with these two here,
these two here with these two here,

these two here with these two here,
these two here with these two here.

These four here, these four here,
these four here,

these four here, here.

Here, here, here, here...

- I think you get the point.
- I do.

There is over 26 different ways
to equal 26 in 10 seconds.

- Beautifully done.
- Not too bad, not too bad at all.

Now, with that, Penn,
I'm gonna say thank you.

I'm gonna let you go
and sit in your comfy chair again.

Let's give him a round of applause.
Thank you so much.

I'll miss you.

Teller, for my spot with you,
I'm gonna actually have you

join me right here
on the front of the stage, okay?

Bring your drawing with you.

Don't show it to anyone.

There's a certain way
that I like to absorb information,

so I'm gonna have you turn around for me.

Now I'm gonna turn around.

There we go.

Let me just...
I just gotta get into position, hang on.

I'm definitely starting to feel something.

Yep, okay. Now, let me just...

...see...

...here...

Yep, I'm getting a stronger feeling.

All right. I'm gonna lock in my answer.

I definitely got
a really good feeling out of that.

I don't know about you guys.

But, for the first time, Teller,
will you ple...

Don't say anything yet.

Will you please show the audience
what it is that you drew?

What do we got?

A flower!

It's so interesting...

...that I would have
gotten a flower as well.

Teller, thank you so much. Thank you, sir.

Amazing Allison,
ladies and gentlemen!

- Fabulous! That was great.
- Thank you.

That was incredible,

and I have never seen Teller
that happy before.

Wow.

I know they loved the act

'cause I could tell
from the expression on both their faces.

- Penn, what do you have to say?
- I was kind of, uh,

flying more solo
than I usually am on this.

I got much less help from Teller,
'cause all Teller wanted to talk about

was how much he liked rubbing against you.

Which, I didn't get to do that,

- so I...
- I held your hands.

I know you held my hand.

I wanted to rub your a*s.

- Well...
- Um...

There you have it.

You just took...

- You took two tricks...
- Yes.

...that are
for what we'll call my section...

- Mmm-hmm.
- ...the, what we call

the less creative section.

You know a "magic square",
we happen to know.

- Yeah.
- It's a wonderful thing, it's a great, uh,

it's a great mental exercise,
did a beautiful job with it.

- And using that as a revelation...
- Thank you. Mmm.

...after you do a center peek is fabulous.

- Thank you.
- Wonderful, great.

And Teller has a pretty good idea
how you, how you did his part,

and he's gonna lay it on you right now.

Lay it on me, buddy.

Let's see if he's right there.

- He's 100% correct.
- Wow.

There you go.

- And Teller will, uh...
- Thank you, sir.

- ...keep that a...
- Oh, oh!

He'll keep that a secret there.

He got me in a shower!

It was a fabulous act.
Thank you for sharing it with us.

- Ladies and gentlemen, Amazing Allison!
- Thank you.

Now, if this next performer
doesn't put a smile on your face,

then frankly, it's a waste of a face.

Let's meet our next whimsical contender.

Howdy, I'm Mac King
and I work right here.

As a matter of fact,
I'm going to do a show right about now.

I love the job.
I love that genuine interaction.

By saying "Howdy,"
at the beginning of the show,

"I'm Mac King,"

and I'm coming out in a plaid suit...

Now I'm ready.

It's friendly, but it also
sets the bar pretty low.

Penn and I have known each other
since the late '80s, I think.

It's much harder to fool somebody
that knows you,

but I think it's not bragging to say

that I've fooled Penn and Teller
many times in the past.

You know, Teller has, in fact
told me that I fooled him.

And I do have one brand-new trick,
and I'm hoping to fool Teller.

'Cause as you know, if you fool Teller,
you fool Penn and Teller.

Please welcome Mac King!

Howdy!

Hey!

I am Mac King,
and I'm very excited to be here.

It's my first time to wear my new suit.

No, my grandmother made this.

Yeah, it used to be her couch.

No, I'm really excited
because I do have a brand-new trick,

and I don't know
whether you guys know this,

every brand-new trick
requires a guinea pig.

Pick her? No!
Hi, what's your name?

- Del Marlow.
- Say it again?

- Del Marlow.
- Del Marlow, follow me.

Ladies and gentlemen, today's volunteer
who did not volunteer in any way,

and, uh, right over this way, Del Marlow.

Somewhere over here
near that yellow dot is probably great.

Nice to meet you.
Thanks for comin' up.

Del Marlow, uh,
you'll notice in this trick,

many of the things I say
have more than one meaning,

like "guinea pig".

Uh, do you know anything
about the other kind of guinea pigs,

the little furry pets?
Do you know what they eat?

- Pet food.
- "Pet food" is a good guess.

I'll give you a hint.

See if you can guess now
what guinea pigs eat.

- Oats?
- "Oats"?

Sorry, no. They eat Fig Newtons.

Do me a favor.
Put your hand inside,

make sure there are no Fig Newtons,

no guinea pigs, no oats.

That is an empty cardboard oatmeal tub
like you would make a drum out of, maybe,

when you were a little boy.

Or yesterday, were you me.

Uh, Del Marlow, the new magic trick
is in three parts.

For the first part, the guessing game,
we need two things.

Oatmeal tub and a small ball.

Del Marlow, do you have a small...

Perhaps I can manufacture a small ball
from a paper serviette.

That means "napkin".

I roll the serviette into a small ball,
and I seal the end with spit-teel.

That means... "Bleh!"

Del Marlow, here's the premise
of our little guessing game.

I'm gonna rattle the small ball
around inside the oatmeal tub,

then I'm gonna put it in my pocket.

You have to decide if that ball
stays in my pocket

or if I've somehow snuck it back
under the oatmeal tub.

So it's like the old three-shell game,
you remember that?

Now, there's only one shell,
so the odds are infinitely better for you.

We'll see.
But you understand the rules, right?

I'm gonna rattle it around,
I'm gonna put it in my pocket,

you decide if it stays here

or if I've snuck it back
under the oatmeal tub.

You understand the premise
of the guessing game?

- Yes, sir.
- Then we'll begin.

There's an oatmeal tub
and a small ball.

Oh!

So I'll rattle it around a little bit.

Would you say right now
that ball was in my pocket

or under the oatmeal tub?

I would say it's still under there.

You say it's under the tub.

Dude, I just showed you...

That's sharp.

You were thinking, "I'm gonna
be wrong no matter what," weren't ya?

That is true, you would have
been wrong, no matter what.

Hold that for just a second.

Now comes the magic-trick part.

For the magic-trick part,
we need two more things.

One from my grandmother...

The drapes match the couch.

And one...

One from my grandfather.

This is his glass for his teeth.

Tooth, actually.

That gets covered with the drapery,
goes in the center of the stool.

Del Marlow, reach over, feel that cloth
above the opening of the glass.

Make sure there are no slits
or holes or trapdoors.

- Solid piece of cloth, correct?
- Yes, sir.

The reason I had you verify that
is the magic we're going to do

is the magic of penetration.

- It's a crowd favorite.
- I see.

Del Marlow, I don't know how much
you know about penetration.

I've heard it's easier in the dark.

Now, Del Marlow,
do you have any secret magic moves

that you do that would aid penetration?

Oh!

- Firm smack on the bottom?
- Yeah.

You gotta see the jiggle.

Yes! You know what
you're doing, well done.

Del Marlow, with your, ha, there you go.

With your left hand, reach over,
grab the left corner of the cloth.

Right hand grabs the right corner,

slowly, so as to not tip over
my family heirloom

and to build up the suspense.

Slowly... Not that slowly...

Slowly lift it up to re...
Oh, the Fig Newton!

Uh...

Where's the ball?

- Uh... Is it in...
- No, I don't know where that ball is.

Of course, yes.

I don't want that damn ball!

In comedy, the big finish callback is,
remember when I got you up here,

I said every brand-new magic trick
requires a guinea pig.

- I believe you thought you were today's...
- Guinea pig.

But I wasn't speaking of you.
I was talking about my little pet.

- Hey, man.
- Guinea pig.

Thank you very much for your help.

Oh, thank you for your help.
Watch your step going off the end there.

Oh, yes.

So this is Colonel Sanders.

That's his name.
And he does a little trick.

It's not magic, but it is pretty good
for a guinea pig.

I'll get out his little hut.
This is where he stays in between shows.

We don't call it a cage.
It's his hut.

He sits on top of his hut for his trick.
You ready, Colonel?

You don't get to go inside yet.
You got to do your trick. Stay!

Good boy. That's his trick.

Jonathan, you know why
he's called Colonel Sanders?

- No, why?
- Oh, because he is...

'Cause he's finger-lickin' good.

And he... And he tastes like chicken.

Except for that toenail.

Mac King, ladies and gentlemen.
What a performance.

Wow.

I think that's my favorite comedy
magic act I've ever seen in my life.

That was hilarious, wasn't it?

I don't want to seem rude...

You don't want to seem rude?

I don't want to seem rude,
but I can't shake your hand.

I know, I...

I'm allergic to guinea pigs,
believe it or not.

That's okay, I'm allergic to the English.

Well, f*ck you.

But that was incredibly good.

And do we... Please, tell us that
we get to see the Colonel Sanders again.

- Do we not?
- Oh, yes, of course.

It's like a three-hour
turnaround on the guinea pig.

- You couldn't...
- No, you can't rush that.

- You couldn't bring him out for us now?
- I'll try.

- No, no, no, no.
- No.

- Oh! Oh, no, I shouldn't.
- Not that way.

I shouldn't have done that.

Uh, you've known these guys for...

- Wait, wait, wait...
- Hold on!

Holy...

Okay, well, that was fabulous.

And now the guys
have talked for a while.

I could see them laughing like
I haven't seen them laugh before,

so I know they enjoyed it tremendously.

If you go on Twitter and say,
"I'm coming to Las Vegas.

"Besides Penn and Teller,
what show should I see?"

The only answer anyone ever gets
is Mac King.

End of story.

He will k*ll you, destroy you.

I also think that when he knows
the video's running

and he's doing his little video package,
he should not say,

"All you have to do is fool Teller."

Because this juggler is gonna
bust your Kentucky butt right now.

Al Wheaton, you know about
Al Wheaton, I bet.

Yes, of course.
I do know of Al Wheaton.

You probably do.
You probably do.

And you probably also
know about Harry Anderson

and his guinea pig trick
at the end, don't ya?

Yes, yes, I do. Yeah.

So do I, Mac King!

Penn, can I just clarify, though?
Did he fool you?

- No!
- Okay, all right.

The fabulous Mac King,
ladies and gentlemen.

Down at Harrah's.

Let's pretend to shake hands.

Go and see the show.

Penn just said
one of the best shows in Vegas.

Mr. Mac King!
And, of course, Colonel Sanders.

Mac King!

So far tonight,
no one's fooled Penn and Teller.

So let's meet our next act
and see if they're up to the task.

My name is Norman Ng.

I've always dreamt of marrying
a beautiful woman, moving to a farm,

and having lots of kids.

And you know what? I did it.

I love living on a farm,
but raising kids on a farm is exhausting.

And as a professional magician, it's hard
to balance work life and family life.

I'm gonna hold this one. Can you squeeze
tight to that one, really tight?

Look, watch this... Mine disappears!
Open your hand.

I tour about 300 days out of the year,

and I love doing magic
because I love to freak people out.

Penn and Teller are awesome magicians.

I've looked up to them since I was a kid,
and I'll put on a damn good show for them.

Please welcome Norman Ng!

Hello, everyone!

Thank you.

Thank you.

Here's a new take on a classic of magic.

You may have seen or heard
of something like this before

where a magician
takes a piece of silverware

and bends it with his mind.

I'm gonna take it one step
further for you tonight.

Instead of bending this fork with my mind,
I'm gonna bend your mind with this fork.

Deep, huh?

Instead of using a real fork,
I'm gonna use an imaginary fork.

I'm gonna draw a picture for us tonight.

Hopefully resembles a fork.
Here we go.

Oh, looks more like a spork.

But that's all right.
That's the best I can do.

There it is, right there,
ladies and gentlemen, my spork.

It's all right.

It's missing something.

It needs to be more unique.

Jonathan, would you mind
helping me with this?

- Round of applause for Jonathan, please.
- Thank you.

Jonathan, please stand
on that side of the table.

Stand here?

Can you sign your name nice and big
on that line so we can all see?

Okay.

Excellent. Thank you very much.

I'll take the marker.
We'll get rid of this.

This is now a work of art.
One in a million.

Nothing else looks like this in the world.

Keep this in mind.
This is a real permanent marker.

Nothing rubs off or moves
or does anything strange.

Get a good look at my spork.

Get a good look at
Jonathan's hieroglyphic.

Remember everything you can about it.

You're gonna want to recognize it
when you see it again.

I don't want you to think I can do
anything without you knowing,

so I'm gonna fold it up.

Jonathan, if you can just hold on to this
nice and tight for us, stay right there.

Don't move. Perfect.

I'm gonna try to alter that drawing
in your minds with this fork.

I want everyone to, for a moment,
imagine this fork

is the same spork that I drew over there.

I'm gonna call it a fork from now on.

Imagine that fork is getting soft.

Imagine it's getting so soft
where it starts to bend.

Imagine the ink on the paper
is bending all the way

until it's completely messed up.

Everyone imagine that?

Let's see what happened over here.

Remember what this drawing
looked like earlier?

Well, now, it's completely bent.

Thank you very much.

- Norman Ng, ladies and gentlemen.
- Thank you.

First of all, I've got to
congratulate you.

I think the greatest trick you pulled off
is being about 12 years old

- and having four children.
- That's right.

How do you manage that?

- Don't give me the details.
- I spend a lot of time on the road.

If your kids see Dad fool them,

will that make them want to follow
in your footsteps?

Maybe. That'd be pretty awesome, though.

I don't know, Penn and Teller,
they're smart,

I've looked up to them since I was a kid.

I did my best. We'll see what happens.

You know, Norman did not expect us
to bust him on the bending the fork.

That is something he knows we know.

It's this other trick.

And, you know, I'm not even
going to address Norman on this,

because you've got a miracle
in your hands.

So, Jonathan, one of these days,

I'm gonna take you, Jonathan,
out to lunch.

- And I am going to explain to you...
- Hold on, hold on...

...when we are out to lunch...

That's not a euphemism
for something weird, is it?

It is. It is a euphemism
for something very, very weird,

and when I take you out to lunch,
I'll tell you that the original trick

is not as smart as this.

'Cause the original trick has to have
another piece of apparatus on it.

But when we're out to lunch,
I will tell you how clever he was

with some of his masking
when we're out to lunch.

But first, let's see if Norman thinks
we know what he did for that trick.

You know it. I did not fool you.

I wish I was invited to lunch.

Just by talking about lunch,
you understood what he was talking about?

- I did, yes.
- What's wrong with you people?

Well, it's no wonder
none of you got friends.

Thank you for being here.
Norman Ng, ladies and gentlemen.

Thank you, Penn and Teller!
Thank you, everyone.

Fabulous!

Ladies and gentlemen, they have been
working here for over 40 years,

and they just got the trick
they're about to perform right once,

and that was yesterday...
So let's see how it goes.

Let's go crazy for Penn and Teller!

I'm gonna pick somebody
from the audience here.

Um, let me see who we got here
for this, uh...

- Yeah, what's your name, please?
- Brianna.

Brianna, come here,
would you, please, Brianna?

Now, watch your step here, Brianna,
if you trip and fall,

it'll be on YouTube within an hour.
Right up here, Brianna.

Brianna, this is Teller.
Teller, this is Brianna.

She claims to be from the audience.

We have a role for which you're cut out,

you just match the silhouette
as best you can, Brianna.

Beautiful.
This hand goes up like this.

Beautiful. Right there.
This hand goes right on your hip.

And all you've gotta do
in this whole trick

is just stay really really still, okay?
Really, really still.

I'm gonna throw these knives around you.

I'm gonna throw them one at a time.

I'm gonna count to three before each one,

and all's you gotta do is stay
really, really still, okay?

Just don't move at all.

And... Watch yourself, Teller.
You're right in the, yeah.

Here we go, Brianna. And...

One! Two! Three...

Brianna, you were doing beautifully,
then at some point,

you moved this hand down
three or four inches.

That's all well and good, Brianna,
except I was aiming right here.

And if you'd have moved that arm down
when that knife was in the air

and that knife had stuck in your arm,
you'd be running all over Vegas saying,

"You know that big guy in Penn and Teller?
He stuck a knife in my arm."

It wouldn't really be the whole truth,
would it, Brianna,

because the big guy in Penn and Teller,
his aim was true,

and you moved your arm into the path.

See, even if you make
the mistake, Brianna,

I'm still the one who's gonna
be blamed, okay? So...

- Was she looking around?
- Yeah.

That's why the hand...

Okay, we're gonna
put a blindfold on you, Brianna.

Teller thinks it'll make it easier for you
to, uh, you to focus and concentrate.

Keep that hand right there.
That's perfect there, Brianna.

And right there over your eyes.

Is that blindfold on you
properly there, Brianna?

- Mmm-hmm.
- Stay still, right there, Brianna.

Just stay really, really still.
Here we go, Brianna.

And...

One! Two! Three!

Oh, beautiful, Brianna.

Lift the blindfold up.
Right where I told you, Brianna.

Beautifully done.
We're gonna do that twice more, Brianna.

- Oh.
- Yeah, let's put the blindfold on.

I think that helped the trick a lot.
Yeah, right there.

And this hand right in position. Perfect.

And this hand goes right on your hip.
Gonna be here this time, okay?

- All right.
- Stay nice and still there, Brianna.

There we go, Brianna. And...

One! Two! Three!

Oh, beautiful, Brianna.
Take a look there, Brianna.

Take a look.

Beautifully done, right down there.

You know, Brianna,
even though we just met,

- I'm really starting to trust you.
- Oh.

I'm gonna do something
that requires a lot of trust.

I'm gonna throw right next
to your face, okay, Brianna?

Just like this.
This hand goes right up here.

This hand right here.
And stay very, very still.

Keep your head very, very still.

Here we go, Brianna. And...

I'm so sorry. I'm a million miles away.
Here we go.

Nice and still there, Brianna. And...

One! Two! Three!

We're cool, go, Brianna,
take a look there, Brianna.

Take a look. Beautifully done.

Brianna, beautifully done.

You are so good at this, Brianna,
it's like you're...

It's like you're a natural-born target
or something.

You're just wonderful.

I know you know something
fishy's going down.

First of all,
the reaction of the audience,

but also you're a smart woman.

You know, a big corporation like the CW
could never allow some whack job

to actually put a human being
in jeopardy without major kickbacks.

I'll explain to you
how the trick was done.

I don't know if you can
remember this, Brianna.

When I first brought you up here,
I stood on this side of you,

which is very bad staging, Brianna.
I'm twice your size.

People over here can't see at all.

Wanted to keep you upstage
so you wouldn't notice this.

An electrical cable.

'Cause we knew that
if you saw electric power

run into a board with no lights on it,
you'd figure out immediately

that behind that board is
a powerful array of electromagnets.

But, Brianna, backstage, there's a
gentleman by the name of Nathan Santucci

who's our director of covert activities.

He has control over all these magnets
from backstage,

and that's why I was counting,

- so he knows just when I'm gonna throw.
- Ah!

Nate, let's show Brianna upper right,
upper right.

One, two, three! It sucks it right up
there so we can't possibly miss.

And then just let it go, let it go,
let it go.

So all I have to do, Brianna,
is throw at the right time.

Once this whole thing is set up like this,
anyone in the world can throw knives.

- Ah.
- Wanna give it a try?

- Sure.
- Come with me, Brianna.

Put your left foot right on that pink line
right there, would you please, Brianna?

Put your right foot back for balance.

Put this arm by your side for balance.

- You ever throw a baseball, Brianna?
- Yeah.

- You can throw overhand, right?
- Yes.

Okay. So your part looks like this.

One, two, three! Foom!

Except, with luck
you'll throw toward the board

and not directly into the audience...

- We're gonna do a dry run.
- Okay.

- Not gonna really throw this time.
- Okay.

Just gonna fake it.
Of course, I'll be standing here,

so you can't throw, 'cause
at this distance, it's not called a throw.

- This distance it's called a stab.
- Okay.

So we're gonna have you
just mime it here, Brianna.

Just gonna make sure
you have the timing right.

I'm counting, you're throwing.

One, two, three. You're dead-on.

Gonna really throw this next time,
really throw hard, okay?

Here we go.
Safety's off, Nate, we're really going.

I'm counting. Listen to me.

Gonna throw right after three,
okay, Brianna?

Here we go, Brianna, and...

What are you doing? When I left you here,
Brianna, you were perfect.

But as soon as I got ready to do

the actual trick, your eyes,
they went bug nutty, okay?

I just want you
to ignore me entirely, okay?

The magnets do all the tricks
you need to...

What are you doing, Teller?
You're distracting me.

I'm trying...

Man, you're smart!

We're gonna put a blindfold
on you here, Brianna.

Teller thinks this'll help you a lot.

- Is that on you properly there, Brianna?
- Mmm-hmm.

Okay, good. You're gonna really throw
this time, okay, Brianna?

And I don't mean to embarrass you,
but your hand's a little bit sweaty.

Just gonna dry your hand off a little bit
so you have a nice, clean release.

There we go, Brianna. You're gonna
throw right after three, really throw.

Really throw this time.

Here we go, here we go, Brianna.
Here we go, Brianna. And...

One! Two! Three!

Beautiful, Brianna.
Take a look there, Brianna. Take a look.

Perfectly done there, Brianna.

Beautifully done. You do that
twice more, Brianna, like that.

Okay.

Put that blindfold
back on you right there.

Beautiful.
This arm by your side.

Just grab the second knife here, Brianna.

Oh, man, oh, man. Um, um, um...

Dropped my keys, Brianna.

- Oh.
- Just dropped my keys.

Here we go, Brianna.
Here we go, Brianna.

And here we go, Brianna.

And, and...

One, two, three!

Brianna, Brianna, Brianna,
Brianna, Brianna, Brianna!

Just another...

Another few inches higher, Brianna,

you'd have given this old atheist some
religion right up here on stage there.

One more, Brianna.
Just pull that right down there.

This is the last one.
I'm just gonna grab the third knife here.

But remember, Brianna,
this is a three-person operation.

It's just you, me, and the Santucci.

You, me, and the Santucci.

After three, after three.

Here we go, Brianna.
Here we go, Brianna. And...

One, two, three!

You've k*lled me, Brianna!

Nicely done, there, Brianna.
Beautifully done.

Watch your step.

Thank you, Nathan.

Ladies and gentlemen, Penn and Teller!

Fabulous.

Great fun.

Well, our magicians are finished

and that's all the show
we have for you this evening.

But we're just getting warmed up,
because this is Las Vegas, after all.

See you next time with more Fool Us.