07x12 - Lord of the Ring

[bunniefuu]

From the Penn & Teller Theater

at the Rio Hotel in Las Vegas,

here's our host, Alyson Hannigan!

Yeah! Welcome to "Fool Us"!

When it comes to magic, Penn and Teller have seen it all,

read it all and done it all,

so it's very hard to fool them.

But against all odds,

there's still a group of intrepid magicians

who dare to dream the impossible dream--

to fool our unfoolable stars!

So let's bring them out now,

the two and only Penn and Teller!

We award a slot in Penn and Teller's Las Vegas spectacular

and the coveted "Fool Us" trophy

to any performer who can pull one over on Penn and Teller.

So let's meet the first act

that's gonna try and pull it off.

I'm Anna Ferris Simpson, from London.

When I was a baby, I had a hip disorder.

That meant I had to be in a cast for about nine months

up until my first birthday.

Because I was immobilized,

I had to find other ways to get what I want.

So instead of crawling over to a toy,

I would have to get the toy to come to me.

Because of that, my mind definitely grew faster

than my body.

I'm trying to put some energy into the field of mentalism

by jumping off things

or swimming while reading minds.

I find it hard to sit still for more than ten seconds,

and so I want to put that untapped energy

into mentalism.

For this trick, I'm not jumping out of an airplane,

just attempting to control your mind.

Penn, Teller, can I make you think what I want you to think?

I guess we'll find out.

Please welcome the young sharp mind

of Anna Ferris Simpson!

Choices, choices, choices.

Chocolate or strawberry?

Yes or no? To be or not to be?

Hey, Penn or Teller,

did you know that every day the average adult

makes 35,000 decisions,

and each comes with a consequence

for better or for worse?

So how cool would it be

if we could influence the decisions

made by other people?

We could get the job we've always wanted,

go out with the boy or girl of our dreams, or, hey,

just get a "yes" to everything we could ever ask for.

Well, tonight, I'm going to attempt to be in full control

of the decisions made by Penn and Teller

to get the outcome I want--

a "Fool Us" trophy coming down from the sky.

You ready? Let's go.

Here I have three decks of picture cards,

a musician's metronome, and a large die.

But first are the cards, as there are three decks,

and we need to narrow it down to just one.

Penn, Teller, I'd like you to think of a number,

one, two, or three.

Don't let the number on the die influence you.

- Penn, what's your number?
- One.

And Teller, what's your number?

Two? One and two.

So we'll get rid of those two decks,

leaving deck number three.

By giving you these cards,

you now appear to have full control over them.

- There you go.
- Thank you.

Now, Penn and Teller know this, but maybe you don't--

lots of magicians make their living

out of giving innocent audience members

what appear to be free choices but actually aren't.

Watch this.

Penn, I'd like to you take the elastic band off of the cards,

split the deck in two,

and give half of them to Teller, face down.

Meanwhile, Teller,

I'd like you to point to any member of the audience,

and if it's you, please stand up.

Hiya. What's your name?

- Stephanie.
- Hello, Stephanie.

Okay, shall we use Penn's half of the deck, or Teller's?

- Teller's.
- Teller's?

Penn and Teller, please swap halves of the deck.

And again, shall we use Penn's half of the deck, or Teller's?

- Teller's.
- Teller's. Now, Penn,

you're actually holding Teller's half of the deck,

so Teller, can you put all the cards

you have in the bin so we can continue?

Brilliant. You can sit down. Thank you so much.

Now, this next choice

is possibly the hardest to control,

as there are about 20 cards in there,

and I need you both to choose a specific one.

Now to do this, I've created a brand-new technique

I like to call a "time force."

Catchy name, I know.

So in order to do this, what I'd like you to do, Penn,

is deal the cards face up onto the table,

and Teller, you're just going to indicate "stop"

when you see a picture card you like the look of.

However, for a time force to work,

there has to be some sort of timing device.

So I'd like you to deal the cards out

to the beat of this metronome.

You guys understand?

- I believe so.
- Awesome, let's go.

Off you go.

Chicken,

octopus,

chick,

cow,

fox,

fish,

sheep,

a platypus,

- shark--
- Stop. Shark.

And now I'd like you to put all the cards away,

leaving only the shark card out.

- Only the shark card out.
- Okay.

Question, did Penn and Teller end up with the shark card

due to the decisions they made?

Or was I able to influence every one?

Penn, I'd like you to read what it says

at the bottom of that card.

I will.

"I influenced you to choose the shark."

Now, I'd like you guys to ask,

is this really enough to prove I've been in control

the whole time? I don't think so.

So I'd like to refer back to the decks

that you both rejected at the start.

As you'll see, they both say, "rejected."

I'll give each of you one of these.

And now Penn, what I'd like to do,

go through every single card in that deck.

You can fan them out on the table

and show everyone what was on every single card.

They're all shark.

Ooh!

And now, some magicians have multiple ways

they can end a trick.

For example, Teller's deck could be filled

with a completely different animal,

in case that's what he went with.

So Teller, can you, too, show everyone

what is on those cards?

Oh!

A shark on every single one of them.

That is because the entire time,

I knew that you were going to choose the shark card.

And, hey, if that isn't proof enough,

there isn't even a number six on my die.

Just a picture of a shark.

Ooh!

And one last thing--

Penn, can you read what it says at the bottom of my shoes?

"Teller will pick the shark."

- Thank you!
- Anna Ferris Simpson!

- Hello.
- Hi!

- So nice to meet you!
- Thank you, and you.

Wow, how long have you been doing this?

I was first introduced to it when I was about three,

because I used to suck my thumb,

and I used to kind of stroke a silky, or a lens cloth,

and when I was about three my dad took my lens cloth,

put it in his hand and made it disappear.

And since then,

I've always wanted to kind of create

that wonder that I felt, to other people.

So do you think that mentalism

will change with young women getting into it?

I really hope so, because a lot of the time

when you think of mentalism, you think of a man in a suit

guessing your card.

And I just kind of want to

take it away from that and really diversify.

So things I do are just, like, I hang upside down,

and I've bungee jumped while doing mentalism and stuff.

I really want to make it exciting

and show that no matter what you do,

there's a way to incorporate what you love into it.

- Oh, my goodness!
- Yeah.

- That's very impressive.
- Thank you.

All right, well, let's go to Penn and Teller...

- Awesome.
- And see if they know

- how you did your trick.
- Hiya.

- Guys.
- Hi, hi, hi.

Anna, you know, if we had our way,

many, many more of the magicians on this show

would be more like you and less like us.

- No--
- My daughter is 14.

- Oh, really?
- She studies magic

all the time, and she has so few role models.

And thank you so much for coming out here

and giving her another one.

Thank you.

And let's talk about your mind control, Anna.

- Let's do it.
- 'Cause you really, really,

really wanted to convince us that you were doing a force,

you really did.

You want us to catch you many steps of the way.

But you didn't do a force. That's our whole point.

And you did something that is so sneaky and so underhanded

and almost to the border of cheating.

And we would not have caught you

if we hadn't done that same thing ourselves before.

- Oh, no.
- Oh!

There was something on stage that is so common to us,

and so often on the show that we don't even think about it.

But we also know

that when you're trying to bust a magician,

things you take for granted

are the things that are most often gonna take you down.

So I will tell you, you would have fooled us 100 percent

if we hadn't built the same kind of thing

that you built right here

and have right there in front of us.

So we think that there's something on stage

that was doing a lot of the magic

that you didn't want us to even think about.

And we think that we thunk it.

- Is that right?
- I think they've definitely

got it, yeah.

Well, thank you so much. Anna Ferris Simpson!

Thank you.

Goodbye.

Penn and Teller will take on more magicians

before they take the stage themselves.

Stick around.

Welcome back to "Fool Us."

For a sneak peek at our next potential fooler,

watch this.

I've got a pretty complicated background.

I've got three citizenships.

Originally from Quebec, Canada,

and my father is from France,

and I now live in Australia.

Performing allows me to really explore my imagination.

I actually create a lot of different characters--

a modern wizard,

this mad scientist,

a disgruntled office worker.

I use magic to convey the difference

between rationality and illusion.

And I think that's a really important distinction to make.

I want to show my kids how powerful the imagination is

and how chasing your dreams is important.

I really look forward to being on the show today.

Penn and Teller, thanks for having me.

I hope you enjoy what I'm gonna do.

I dug up a strange and obscure secret,

and I think it's gonna fool you.

Please welcome Perth's premier magician,

Pierre Ulric!

Thank you.

You know, magic's often broken down in two categories--

psychological magic and visual magic,

magic that works with the eyes or the mind.

Now today I'm going to share something with all of you

that involves both,

a bit of an amalgamation of the two stars.

I'm gonna use some paint and a canvas.

Things are going to get a little bit messy, perhaps.

Are you ready?

The first thing I need is for all of you

to close your eyes.

All of you. Even you at home.

It's not dark, you see blurbs of color.

Now I want you to focus them into a single shape,

a drawing, an image, something that can be of meaning to you,

or maybe something completely abstract,

but something that you can remember and symbolize.

And now please open your eyes.

I'm gonna ask you, Penn,

you've got an image in your mind?

- I did.
- Yes.

No one else can know what it is.

- That's correct.
- So I'm going to ask you

to draw it to the best of your recollection.

- Oh, dear.
- Yes, I know.

- it's tough, isn't it?
- I know, I'm not--

It's not an arts class. I'm not judging.

On one of my business cards.

On one of your business cards?

Yeah, just on the back there.

- Okay, sure.
- Okay? And I will turn around.

- Okay.
- Make sure that even Teller

doesn't have a look. Don't peek, Teller.

No cameras involved.

And please place it on the ground in front of you

when you're finished, Penn.

Yep, put it on the floor.

- Okay.
- Now I'm going to ask you

to put your foot on it, stomp on it, or even sit on it.

I don't want to know what it is

until there's a specific moment in time.

Yeah, put your foot on it. Excellent.

Teller, you get the fun part.

Do you want to please come up on stage and help me?

Please give Teller a big round of applause.

How are you?

The reason I said you get the fun part is,

you get to blindfold me.

Firstly, we're going to finish with this hood.

Can you please inspect that?

You can put it on your head, turn it around, all sides,

make sure that no light can go through the seams.

Turn it 180 degrees... excellent.

Good? That's good, first check done.

And now let's start with the other fun part.

We're gonna go with these.

These are 50 cents from Australia.

They're made of nickel, solid coins.

You can check them out, and we'll place them

in these wads of putty,

or Play-Doh, as some people call them.

But can you compress them nice and flat,

and place the coins in the middle?

That's right. He's got a technique to him.

And I will use this canvas... for the rest.

Perfect.

Now put the coins in the middle.

Yeah, right there, good.

And we will use those to seal my eye cavity, okay?

So right there, can you please press nice and hard?

Penn, while this is happening,

can you crumble the card you have into a little ball,

and give it to someone in the audience--anyone.

So please choose that now.

Now, I also have some duct tape.

And I want you to place them in this manner--

one in diagonal...

Teller, you can reach for another one,

and place it as well in diagonal.

Correct. And now another one,

the third one horizontally, to lock it all in place.

Good. Okay.

And last, but not least, there should be a sleep mask

I purloined from an airplane. Yes?

Are you ch--yeah, you can check it, of course.

Excellent. And there's a hood and there's some paint.

Okay. I'll place the hood also over my eyes.

Please give Teller a round of applause for us.

Take this, brother. May it serve you well.

Sir or ma'am, please make your way up

and come and stand right there to my side,

just behind me.

Put your hand on my shoulder.

Right there--oh, do not speak, do not move, moving forward.

Oh!

I think I'm done.

You can remove the hand from my shoulder

and lift the hood.

- Hey.
- Hello, hello.

- What's your name?
- Eric.

Eric. We've never met before.

- No.
- Penn selected you.

Come and stand at the front. Did you grab that little card

that he drew his drawing on earlier on?

- Got it right here.
- Look, this is impressionism,

it's not perfect. But I think you did great.

You gave me some beautiful emotions today.

Please look at the audience.

Oh!

Can you open that up?

Sure.

I also drew right there a little piece of cardboard

that you were holding in your hand.

Can you show me, give it to me, face up?

It looks like a little ying of a yang

or a yang of a ying.

Oh! I know.

The pair is matched.

Thank you so much, everyone. You can go back to your seat.

- Wow!
- Cheers.

Pierre Ulric!

So which did you learn first, art or magic?

When I was very young, I got into drawing.

But probably at the same time, I was also learning magic.

I discovered it at, you know, nine, ten

like a lot of young kids, and the bug never left me.

And have you ever done a piece like this

and then you thought, oh wow,

that art is so good, I have to hang it in my house?

No, unfortunately, it's rarely that good.

I mean, it's done blindfolded and quite quickly,

but this one came out really nice.

All right, let's find out if you fooled Penn and Teller.

- Okay.
- Oh, wow,

such a combination of great stuff,

such a great way to do that kind of second sight type act.

You did not do exactly what Kuda Bux does on the blindfold,

'cause he had all the gauze around there

and everything else.

Teller had a very bad view of the bag.

It was completely opaque,

and the blindfold stuff was not very apt to fool us.

But the real question on this

was how you knew

what I drew on that piece of paper.

And that is a mother... Hubbard.

That is a tough one.

And every other season,

I've worn these big leather Doc Martens,

but since then I've been wearing these vegan sneakers.

- Yeah.
- They have no leather

on them at all. So when you came down

with your sneaker -

These ones.

Right, and put it down on top of there,

we were hypervigilant on your sneaker.

- Mm-hmm.
- And we think--

as preposterous as this is,

as insane as this is, as crazy as this is,

as magical as this is--

we think you have eyes in the bottom of your feet.

- I wish I had.
- So Pierre,

did you get the impression

that they know how you did the trick?

Based on all the element they brought forth,

I didn't fool them.

Thank you so much for the opportunity.

- Aw.
- Thanks, Alyson.

- Pierre Ulric!
- Good night, everyone!

Thank you.

Man, you guys are good!

More magic coming in hot, after the break.

Welcome back. It's "Fool Us" o'clock,

which means time for our next act.

In my sophomore year of high school,

I found out that I had dyslexia.

When you have dyslexia,

reading words becomes a maze in your mind.

You're always cracking codes and solving puzzles.

But for a magician, these are essential skills.

But first, magic was a mask I wore to entertain my dad.

When I was young, dad showed me this one simple trick,

and it blew my mind.

He was not a magician, but if I learned a trick,

it would definitely get his attention.

I carry an eight-ball in my wallet.

It's kind of my everywhere trick

to remind me of my father.

Now I specialize in conversational magic,

face-to-face with people, up close.

In the end, any art form

is really just an excuse to meet another human being.

Please welcome magical ringmaster, Garrett Thomas!

Teller, you are known as a master of sleight of hand.

And I'm going to do something bold.

I'm going to do my sleight of hand

right here under your nose, if you'll join me.

Please, Teller.

Thank you.

You can turn anything into a puzzle or a game.

Even something as simple as a ring

can be turned into a game.

But I want you to have a really close look at this.

Examine my hand...

Make sure there is no prosthetics

or the fingers are solid.

Two hands and a ring.

We're going to go from one finger to the next

without going near the fingertips;

it's going to go the other way around.

I'm not sure what that means, but it sounds painful.

From here to there, without going near the top.

It's going to go this way.

Oh!

It is painful.

But all the way through, all four fingers,

just like so.

Ooh!

But even better, if you can take your right hand

and go like this, go like this.

Give me a finger-- good choice!

And with your other hand, with your other hand,

I want you to hold on to the tip of your finger.

Perfect. Now I can't go up, I can't go down,

I can't go left or right.

Look, a distraction!

Even with misdirection, you're not going to let go.

But hold your breath, make a wish, count to three.

Whoa!

You can check it out.

Everybody thinks it's the ring.

There's an old saying that suggests

that something's gotta give.

But why would the magician give you the ring

if it's the ring that gives?

And if it's not the ring that gives,

you have to ask the question, what gives?

My grandfather had this condition--

I hate bringing this up,

'cause somebody in your family will have had this,

but to raise awareness, it's important

that we talk about these things.

The very tip of his thumb used to come straight off.

You'll notice I did not pull the ring through my thumb.

That is because the ring is too small;

it will not fit past the knuckle.

But...it got worse for me. It spread.

Not the top of the fingers, but all the way down.

- Oh!
- Oh!

And I don't--

See, it's so easy once you know that.

You just pull the ring through the hole at the bottom.

This is precisely why we don't tell you how it's done

'cause knowing it ruins the whole thing.

- Whoa!
- Oh!

Thank you very much.

Garrett Thomas, everyone!

Wow. Hi.

Wow, that was pretty bold,

doing it right under Teller's nose.

Yes. And I am very much out of my element.

I never do stage magic.

- No?
- I would rather spend a moment

with each person than do a big show.

Having someone up close is, to me, the best part of magic.

Well, how does it feel

to perform in front of hundreds of people?

It feels fantastic, you know,

but I want to meet everybody, you know?

I wish I can come down and show everybody something.

- So thank you.
- Well, I'm sure they would

like to you to as well.

- Our paths will cross.
- Yes.

- All right, Garrett.
- Yeah.

Let's take this to the next level.

Oh, there's a next level?

And find out if you fooled them.

- Oh.
- Yeah. Penn? Teller?

Garrett...you know,

people say they love sleight of hand.

We try to give them sleight of hand.

That really was sleight of hand, in every way.

And you just k*lled the audience.

They absolutely loved it.

I'm not gonna speak in code to you.

I'm gonna speak outright, in English.

The only thing we can think of

is that you have a ring

that is so carefully constructed

to come apart in halves,

either with a very strong magnet,

or with a shell or something like that,

that an audience member, or even Teller,

on very, very, very careful examination

cannot get the [bleep] damn thing to come apart.

Now, if you have that ring gimmicked in any way,

we're not gonna give it to you.

If you did that in any way other than that

with what would have to be pure sleight of hand,

we're not gonna cheat and say, okay, it's sleight of hand,

'cause we didn't catch you on anything.

If it is anything other than a ring that comes apart,

you have fooled us.

Doesn't prove it. I want your word.

I trust you more than my eyes.

It is an absolutely normal ring.

It does not come apart?

- It does not come apart.
- You fooled us, sir.

Whoo! Congratulations!

We have a fooler!

Whoo-hoo!

Garrett Thomas!

Thank you!

These guys just let a "Fool Us" trophy walk out of here.

Can they slam that door shut for the rest of the night?

More possible foolers coming up next!

Welcome back. You're just in time for our next act.

It's been five years since I was

on the Penn and Teller Show. It was invigorating,

thrilling, and pretty terrifying at the time.

- He will fool Penn and Teller.
- Wow!

A whole lot has changed since I've been

on the show five years ago.

For one thing, I recently got married to my best friend

and performance partner. Lindsay is also a magician.

It's been an exciting journey working with someone

on equal footing, onstage and off.

My career did pick up quite a bit,

especially in magic consulting for other magicians,

for film and TV.

It's a challenge, but it's exciting.

I'm going to try to fool Penn and Teller

for the second time,

but frankly, they've had five years of practice at this

and I think they're getting better every day.

So I got my work cut out for me.

With two randomly selected members of our studio audience,

please welcome previous fooler, Francis Menotti.

Thank you. We're going to play

a little game of assumptions here.

What might you assume would be in a small, wooden box

about this size and shape, belonging to a magician?

- Cards?
- Cards.

It's an excellent choice.

You could have said coins, keys--

anything that would fit inside the box,

but you said cards, and that happens to be correct.

Not necessarily a full deck,

but that's not much of a surprise now.

Now at this point, you might assume

that this is a standard pick a card,

find a card trick, right? Not quite.

I am going to have you take a playing card out

and write your name across the face of it.

I'm going to give you a marker to do that.

If you just lean forward and sign

right across the face, big, bold letters,

and then show it to the camera as well, please.

- And it was Fred?
- Fred, yes.

Would you mind taking out a dollar bill?

We'll need that in just a minute.

Thank you, Janine. Excellent.

Janine.

I'm going to allay your assumptions for just a minute,

and tell you exactly what's going to happen

before it happens.

Your card is going to disappear from the deck

and reappear inside the box.

- Do you have that dollar bill?
- Yes.

May I--we'll just place it right here and, in fact, Fred,

would you also write your name across the face of it,

big, bold letters, again, we'll need that.

Don't worry, it's not ill*gal. It just annoys the government.

I'm fine with that.

Janine, like I said, your card's going to disappear

from the deck and reappear inside the box.

Here's the question, though. Where's the box?

- There?
- There.

It's a great assumption, right?

Yeah, that's where we saw it before.

The problem is, this is a magic show.

You can't always trust your assumptions.

That's not a box.

That's a small stack of wooden planks,

sort of the same principles and properties

as a pack of cards.

You could almost stack and shuffle them.

But if that's not the box, Janine, Fred,

folded up inside a hollowed-out pack of cards.

Oh!

One playing card.

Now Fred, here's the magic moment.

If you'd be so kind, unfold that for me

and show everyone, especially the camera,

if that's actually Janine's playing card. Is it?

Ha ha ha ha!

Oh!

Well, that's yours.

Now at this point, you might assume that that was a trick

that I was trying to use to try and fool Penn and Teller.

Not quite.

Now, we're going to play another game of assumptions,

and that is involving your dollar bill.

You signed your name across the face of it, Fred.

- Yes.
- The only one like it

- in the entire world, right?
- Yeah.

Magic's all about assumptions.

Now, in everyday life, you don't want to assume things

about people, places or things, right?

But in a magic show, you have to assume certain things,

otherwise there's really no magic.

For example, well,

if you don't assume that we have gravity,

you won't be impressed when something floats, right?

Or if you don't assume we have objective permanence,

you won't be impressed when something disappears.

Oh!

Janine, we're going to play a game of assumptions.

- Okay.
- What might you assume

would be in a small wooden box

about that size and shape belonging to a magician?

- A dollar bill?
- A dollar bill

is a great choice, because you know

it's not playing cards, those are over here.

- Right.
- And if it's not playing cards

inside the box, one folded up dollar bill--

would you go ahead and unfold that

and show everyone the signature.

Is that--

Francis Menotti!

- Well, welcome back.
- Thank you, it's a pleasure.

I've got to be honest, I'm a little nervous.

- Yeah?
- Yeah, yeah.

So now obviously, you've been here before.

When you come to Vegas,

do you go see a lot of different magic shows?

Or do you just, like, okay, I'm going to focus on my trick,

'cause I'm going on "Penn and Teller"?

No, well, to be honest, in this case,

I focused on the trick

because I was going on "Penn and Teller."

- Yeah.
- But to be sure, tomorrow,

regardless of outcome today, I will be hanging out

and partying. So come on and join.

What kind of magic tricks do you do with your wife?

Well, she's more the mind reader, mentalist in the act,

and I'm the sleight of hand guy.

So it's kind of a little dueling banjos sort of thing.

Nice.

It also makes for fun times at home,

because there are no secrets. She can read my mind--it works.

Perfect. All right,

let's see if you've earned yourself another trophy.

- Hello, Francis.
- Hello, Penn.

- Hello, Teller.
- In terms of full disclosure,

we have to say that Francis is a friend of ours,

very good friend of Teller's. Teller's known him for years.

They've been good friends, they talk about magic

all the time, and everything else.

And just because you're really good friends

does not mean we're not going to try to bust your a*s.

Oh, I look forward to it.

That's what makes it really, really fun.

What's really interesting about this--

and we know that you're obsessed with composition,

it's one of the things you're best at

and that was certainly shown here;

the beautiful symmetry to the routine,

all the assumptions-- it's the assumptions

that actually make the trick so deceptive.

- Mm-hmm.
- There's all sorts of stuff

that we're assuming because of the way you handle it,

that it's something, when it's already something else,

you're one step ahead of us. But you know, Francis,

I feel like talking about the space program.

Because the space program started with "Mercury,"

then that folded, then it went to "Apollo,"

which is not part of this trick,

and ended up with the space shuttle.

But I'll tell ya, that final vanish of that big bill--

we thought you nailed it. We give you a thumbs up.

We loved the whole routine,

but we don't think you fooled us.

That sounds about right to me.

Just worked for their own good, yeah.

- So you didn't fool them?
- No, not this time.

- Oh, well, thank you.
- But last time, you did.

You bet.

Thank you. Francis Menotti!

After the break, it's time for Penn and Teller

to work their own magic. You don't want to miss it.

When Penn and Teller perform,

they almost always play themselves.

But to close the show tonight, they are not Penn and Teller,

they are two strangers meeting for the first time

on a park bench, and one of them is meditating.

Oh, jeez--

I'm sorry, you snuck up on me.

Well, wasn't hard to sneak up on me, I had my eyes closed,

and I have earbuds in, and I just--I was meditating.

So I didn't see you come up and sit--

I mean, you're welcome to sit here.

It's just that I didn't expect you to be sitting here,

'cause I was meditating in my head.

It's really helped me. I'm much more--

I'm here, I'm now, I'm Zen. That's what I am.

You're pretty Zen too, huh?

Ooh, sorry, are you meditating?

Oh, you can't be meditating, you don't have earbuds in.

I use these. These are the brand new ones,

these are really nice earbuds.

Yeah, you can look at that if you want, I mean--

no, no, don't put that--oh, hygiene.

Hygiene! Hygiene!

That's--oh, that's now in your...stranger ear.

I'm cool, man. I'm just here, loving kindness.

See, I can take off--there's a little plastic gasket here--

oh oh oh oh-- what, what--

Okay.

You put that in, I'm going to play you some music here.

What kind of music do you like? I'll play you--

oh, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa--

hey, hey, um, um, um--

Ha ha ha! Ha! Ha ha!

This is great! This is terrific.

What is this?

Is this like one of those gorillagrams?

Someone pays you, like,

$150, their friend ends up cuffed to a creep?

It's not my birthday or anything, man.

You just handcuffed yourself to a random stranger...

Who's bigger than you.

By a lot.

I don't know if you noticed, right at the edge of the park,

there's a gas station. I don't know about tools,

but they probably got bolt cutters,

maybe even a grinder or something.

We'll just walk side by side, nobody will even notice.

We'll walk over to the gas station,

and we'll get those right-- ow, ow, ow!

Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow. Ouch!

Let me give you a really simple equation, okay?

Metal into flesh equals pain.

It's the principle behind b*ll*ts.

Let's go, come on. It'll be fun.

Come on, I'll race you. Come on, let's go.

Come on, let's go.

Come on, come on. Okay.

Stand up!

What did you learn from that experiment?

You stood up, apparently against your will,

without me even touching you,

because we are handcuffed together, schmuck!

And we're going to that gas station,

if I have to drag you on your [bleep] damned--

Loving kindness, man. I'm just here.

It's okay. It's not a deal. Not a deal. No problem.

I'm going to call the police, but I'm not going to call 911,

no complaint on you, nothing.

We're okay. I'm going to call a regular office number,

and just say we're having trouble--

No no, no. That's my phone.

Get my phone. Let me get my--sit down!

Sit down! Sit down!

Okay, now I am calling 911 on my Smart Watch,

which I don't--

You think you're so smart, don't ya?

Hey, emergency!

Hey, [bleep]! Call 911!

Hey--!

You keep that. You just keep that.

Ah! It'll be curtains up next week

for a brand new Penn and Teller "Fool Us."

See you soon!