THEME MUSIC PLAYS
♪ I could be so good for you
♪ Love you like you want me to
♪ Ooh, ooh
♪ I could be so good for you
♪ Love you like you want me to
♪ Ooh, ooh. ♪
The man was well pleased,
Terry. Well pleased.
Wants to know if you'll do
the same next week.
- What, for that?
- Mm.
I had to have three fights
in that khazi disco!
Had all my ribs kicked
in one of 'em.
Those are the natural risks
of your chosen profession, my son.
Oh.
You wouldn't get blows
in your vulnerable regions
if you kept in shape a bit more.
I mean, when, when did you last
have a workout in the gym?
- About a week ago.
- There you are, you see?
That is just
what I'm talking about.
I mean, for a geezer
in your line of work,
that is not a good thing.
Tell him, Dave.
- That is not a good thing.
- See? The man knows.
Now, ask yourself,
what is your only asset?
I can still pull a bird.
- That IS a good thing.
- Yeah.
Your body, Terry.
Your body.
Look after that
and it will look after you.
And you, Arthur.
And you.
There's no need
to take that attitude, Terry.
It is true I am a businessman,
and you are a...
a kind of investment.
But I am also
your friend and provider.
Don't forget that little item.
Yeah, you'll remind me
if I do, aren't you?
All I'm saying is, you only take out of life
what you put into it,
plus a little extra
if you can find a few mugs.
I wish everyone had
your sense of humanity, Arthur.
Remember, Terry,
your body is a temple.
And... [COUGHS] ..as such
shouldn't be defiled. [COUGHS]
Filling it with that poison
isn't helping either. [COUGHS]
He does go on, doesn't he?
Yeah, well, I am going
before they starts a collection.
[COUGHS]
See what you mean, Arthur.
George.
Hello, Arthur.
What are you up to these days?
Don't thank me
till you've tried it on.
Large vodka slimline.
OK, folks.
Let's have a bit of hush.
Bringing to you lovely entertainment
every lunchtime...
..beautiful girls
and beautiful entertainment.
Thank you very much.
Well, well, well.
If it isn't Fly Boy Arthur.
Hello, John!
How are you?
No, no, don't tell me.
A large Scotch, no water.
- Am I right?
- Yeah. Nice of you to remember.
How could I forget
after the last drink we had together?
[APPLAUSE]
Well, how's your noble profession?
You still at it with the local rag?
Yeah, still at it.
I thought
you were going to turn it in,
write a book or something,
as I recall?
Yeah, me
and every other bloody hack.
DISCO MUSIC
This place has changed.
A sign of the times, John.
Moral turpitude,
lowering of values.
For God's sake, Arthur.
I was saying to her indoors the other day,
she wanted to go to the flicks.
- Flicks?
- I mean, what is there
a decent man can take
his family to see these days?
I mean, Let's Get It Up
with Swedish subtitles?
That is hardly a cultural viewing,
is it?
Bread and circuses -
that is all the great unwashed want.
Who can blame them?
[CHEERING]
That wee lassie there.
- What?
- The stripper.
Trying to get your attention.
[MOUTHS]
That's why you're here,
dirty old bugger.
Leave it out, John.
She's a friend of my man Terry.
[MOUTHS]
Hardly know the girl.
That's a worry, Arthur.
We're nothing if not discreet.
[CHEERING]
I tell you, I'm here
in the line of business.
A business which, I might add,
could do you a favour,
enhance your image
as a man of letters.
- Yeah? What's that, then?
- Don't go away.
That is amazing. You'd think
it had been tailored for you.
It really looks a treat, John,
stand on me.
Yeah,
it's not at all bad, Arthur.
Not at all bad.
The man's got Savile Row
on his back, and he says not bad.
- Tell him, will you?
- Yeah. Terrific, Arthur.
And at 40 songs a go,
that is a steal.
Forty quid?
Eh, it's a nice jacket,
Arthur, but...
No, no. Don't, don't.
Did I say 40 TO YOU?
John, I wouldn't dream of it.
What, earn out of a pal?
Look, I tell you what.
They stand me in 30 songs a lump.
I'll let you have it for 35.
Ah, I don't know.
It's...
Oh, go on, then, have it at cost price.
Buy me a large vodka.
I can't say fairer than that,
can I?
A one-off original,
eh, Arthur?
Original cut, I said, George.
Original cut.
What's the matter then,
Arthur?
Don't you want to know me
when I'm out? [LAUGHS]
Yes, sir. Right.
Will do.
Jones?
- Guv?
- Get down to Records,
pull the docket on one Michael
Andrew Dixon, and bring it here.
Right.
Michael Andrew Dixon?
- Isn't he that...
- That's right. Micky Dixon.
Better known to one and all
as Mad Micky.
But I thought he was tucked up,
doing plenty of porridge.
He was supposed to be, yeah.
Only now he isn't.
He had it on his toes
from Chelmsford nick this morning.
Oh, lovely!
The press'll have a field day.
Why me?
- Hello, Deb.
- Wha... Micky!
Bet you didn't expect
to see me, eh?
- What are you doing here?
- Made one from the nick, ain't I?
- No!
- I was hoping you still lived here.
Do you mind if I come in?
- He's a big 'un, isn't he, Guv?
- And handsy with it.
He only started off with a five,
you know.
Then added another 15 in various lumps
for battering screws in a boot.
He ended up with an indefinite
on Her Majesty's.
Nice geezer.
- You knew him pretty well, didn't you?
- Yeah.
He ain't as wicked
as some would have it.
Bit simple, really.
Always getting used by faces
to do their hammering for them.
Still. He won't want to come quietly
if we try and feel his collar.
That's for sure.
Tell you what,
get onto the nick,
get the details on his
letters sheet on who's visited him.
It'll give us something
to look for starters.
Listen, I know
I've sprung it on you a bit...
A bit?
For goodness' sake, Micky!
Every bleeding cop in England
will be out looking for you.
I'm sorry, Deb.
I didn't know where else to go.
It's hard to know who you can trust on the
out these days, from what I can make out.
- Grass is knee-deep, isn't it?
- Oh, Micky.
Look, all I want's a place to flop
for a few days
till I get things sorted out, eh?
Oh, Micky.
No. Look, I'll... I'll go.
I don't want to get you into any sort of...
No. No, hang on.
I just need time to adjust.
- You hungry?
- Starving.
- Egg and bacon?
- Eh, terrific.
- Had it away? Micky?
- Chelmsford, this morning.
Knew him quite well,
didn't you?
Well, years ago,
when we were both fighting, yeah.
So you er... haven't been in touch with him
since he's been away?
Come on, Mr Chisholm.
You know as well as I do,
I wrote to him a couple of times,
even went to visit him,
but that was five or six years ago.
A word of advice, Terry.
He'll be looking for somewhere
to hole up.
Don't let me find him
at your flat.
The facilities for training
just aren't the same in the nick,
if you take my meaning.
I heard
you were doing all right.
You know,
settling down and that.
They made me a promise,
didn't they?
- Promise?
- Yeah, about the release date, you know?
Well, I stood it, didn't I,
the last couple of years?
Didn't give no agg.
It's all bollocks, Deb.
It didn't do no good,
it was just a wind up.
b*stards.
I ain't going back till I get
a definite reasonable release date, Deb.
I ain't.
I'll k*ll anybody
who tries to make me.
That ain't very clever,
is it, Micky?
I mean, there's hundreds of them
out there. Thousands.
Coppers, army, God knows who.
Well, you can't k*ll 'em all.
You'd be a idiot even to think
about hurting anyone, in your position.
Then they'll definitely
throw away the key.
I got this idea, haven't I?
The geezer in the shovel gave it me.
- What idea?
- Going to make a protest, ain't I?
I'll write letters
to the newspapers,
tell 'em what liberties
have been taken with me.
Going to demand a...
what's it... inquiry.
Just like that?
I ain't the lunatic
they make out, Deb.
I've been mis... er...
the geezer told me the word... mis... er...
Represented.
Misrepresented.
Yeah. Misrepresented,
in the papers and that.
And you think
if you tell 'em that,
they'll gonna be
more sympathetic to you?
Got to try, ain't I, Deb?
Got to try.
- Hello, Queenie.
- What do you want?
Just want a word with Freddie,
if you don't mind.
- He ain't in.
- Come on, love.
If his motor's here,
he is.
He's having something to eat
with some friends
and don't want
to be disturbed.
Don't be awkward, Queenie.
I could get a warrant.
- Who is it, Mum?
- You finish your meal.
He don't eat proper as it is
not with you lot harassing him all the time.
Why, Mr Chisholm.
What's all this, then?
You go inside, Mum.
I'll handle this.
No. Go on, go on,
there's a good girl.
Some problem, is there?
Friend of yours had it away
from Chelmsford nick this morning, Freddie.
Micky Dixon.
It's possible he's reached London
by now.
Oh, no.
Micky wouldn't come here.
It'd upset my mum.
And that'd upset me.
Well, you won't mind
if we take a look, then, will you?
Sorry to bother you with it, Terry.
I've got no one else to handle it.
At your place?
[SIGHS]
I've already been pulled
by the Old Bill, down to him.
I don't think
I should get involved.
I didn't know who else to ask!
What am I supposed to do?
Look, Deb, if you're asking me
to sling him out, forget it.
Well, apart from the fact
that he could break me in half,
I happen to like the geezer.
He was a right
tasty heavyweight,
till that slag Freddie Baker
started managing him.
I didn't even know you knew him.
Oh, it was before I met you.
I was only a kid myself.
Two kids together.
Only I grew up.
Oh, I like him.
I feel sorry for him.
You understand.
Yeah, I understand,
yeah.
[SIGHS]
Listen. Do you prefer
doing this to the clubs?
Well,
the money's nearly as good.
I can do two,
sometimes three pubs a day.
Oh, will you have a word with him,
Tel?
Yeah. I'll have a word with him,
yeah.
But I ain't going to ask him
to give himself up.
Satisfied?
I will be
when we collar Micky Dixon.
So if you don't want any distress,
don't you go to give him a bit help
if he comes asking for it,
Freddie.
Nobody gives me distress,
Mr Chisholm.
And least of all
the Mickys of this world.
You'll be all right, Freddie.
Your day will come.
You two would look better
in a trough.
Thanks for the hospitality,
Queenie.
- Piss off!
- Mum!
Don't use that kind of language.
It's not nice.
That's a turner, eh?
The Old Bill will have their hands full
trying to get hold of him.
He wouldn't run five minutes on the air,
I wouldn't think.
- Why not?
- Not that clever, is he?
Not a dummy but,
you know, he likes company.
I thought you knew him?
He's off this manor.
No, I never did bump into the man.
Can't say I'm sorry either.
Honestly?
- Mick?
- Tel!
Good to see you again, mate! Really good.
How are you keeping? All right?
- Ducking and diving, you know.
- Still doing a bit, eh?
No, no. I gave that all up.
Too much like hard work.
I've kept myself in shape,
you know, Tel.
Worked out every day,
never missed, even on chokey.
- And in a box.
- Listen, Mick...
They gave up trying to put
a jacket on me. I used to bust 'em.
They took liberties, Tel.
I used to chin the b*stards.
I... I told Terry what you planned,
Micky.
Thought, he might be able
to give you a bit of advice.
Yeah. Good, innit?
What do you think, Tel?
Well, the point is, the Old Bill
already think you're on the manor.
I was telling Deb,
they gave me a tug this morning,
just cos I knew you.
- No. Already?
- Yeah.
So they're going to go visiting
all your old friends and acquaintances,
- I mean, including Debbie.
- No, no, not here, Tel.
Nobody knows about me and Deb.
I ain't that daft.
Are you sure? I mean, didn't you
ever visit him or write to him in the nick?
No.
Oh. Well,
that's something at least.
That's the first lot
they're going to check up, innit.
Well, I'll be all right here.
I mean, Deb said I can stay until
I get things sorted, didn't you, Deb?
You can't stay here forever.
And you can hardly
start walking the streets, can you?
I mean, you ain't exactly
hard to miss.
Well, it's only
till I get a release date, Tel.
And then if it's fair,
I'll put my hands up.
I wouldn't rely on that
too heavily, mate.
The authorities have got the needle
cos of the escape, haven't they?
Look, I don't know. I don...
Well. Maybe you ought to think about
getting out of the country for a bit.
That's a good idea, Tel!
With you and Deb around to help me out,
it's bound to work out, eh?
[SIGHS]
Give us a lager, Dave.
- I thought you'd have been in before this.
- Yeah, I've been a bit busy.
- Have you seen that?
- Yeah. Yeah.
- You knew him quite well, didn't you?
- We were on the same boxing circuit, yeah.
Listen, I've got to have a word with you.
Can we go outside for a minute?
- Outside? What's wrong with in here?
- Yeah, what's wrong with in here?
Oh, nothing. Oh, no.
Doesn't matter.
You can say what you have to say
in front of Dave. He's one of our own.
- It doesn't matter.
- Maybe it's private, Arthur.
Private? What's private?
The boy's life's an open book.
He's got no right to be private with us.
Ain't he?
What is the matter with you?
What did you have to mention it for?
Mention?
I haven't said a word!
- Look, are you coming outside or what?
- If it's that important to you, Terry.
Have you ever known me to turn down
a request from a friend?
And provider?
Dear, oh, dear.
- There you go.
- Oh, thanks, Deb. Appreciate it.
- Micky, don't you think...
- What?
Oh.
Doesn't matter.
Fancy a coffee?
I fancy you, Deb.
I'll make the coffee.
Are you some sort of crank
or something?
Have you lost all control?
I mean, the man is a loon!
The police force of the entire country's
searching for him.
- Probably the armed forces, too!
- I'm not harbouring him, Debbie is.
Debbie?
That bird of yours who does the...
Yeah.
He's an old mate.
I want to give him a leg-up.
Well, what am I supposed to do?
He's going to need money, ain't he?
And maybe a passport.
- I thought you'd help.
- Money? Passport? Terry!
You are talking of conspiracy
to avert the course of justice.
Never worried you before, has it?
Nevertheless, I must
draw the line somewhere.
This is very dodgy, Terry.
I mean, I am not
a prison sort of person.
I wouldn't like it.
I would suffer considerable mental stress.
You wouldn't be saying all this
if there was a few bob involved, would you?
That is a gross assessment
of my generous character, Terence.
I'm a practical and realistic man,
that's all.
You think
there could be an earner in it?
Well, yeah, I suppose you could sell the story
to the Sunday papers or something.
Oh, that's not such a bad idea
after all.
Are you joking?
No, no. Listen,
you could do the boy a right favour.
You know, personal interviews,
like them done with
Biggsy and Richardson
and all that lot.
Would the papers pay good dough
for that sort of thing.
No, no, no.
I would only want my handling fee.
- Goodbye, Arthur.
- No, no, no.
Terry, Terry, no.
Listen.
- Listen. You want to help the boy.
- Yeah.
Well, it takes capital to keep out
the long arm of the law. You know that.
Now, can you think of a better way
for your pal to make that sort of money
without hitting someone on the head?
No, course you can't. Come on.
Have another drink. It's your round.
See how this sounds now.
"Sir,
I had it away from Chelmsford Prison
"in order to -"
Hold on.
"Escaped" would be better
than "had it away", don't you think?
- Yeah, definitely.
- Oh, yeah. Yeah.
More proper like,
you mean?
- Yeah. Yeah.
- "Escaped". Right.
"Sir, I escaped
from Chelmsford Prison
"in order to bring to the attention
my diabolical situation."
Erm...
I don't know about "diabolical".
- Well, it is diabolical, innit?
- Yeah, but what Terry means is,
you have to word these things
in the right sort of terms,
less...
well, provoking.
Yeah, sort of...
diplomatic, you know?
- Oh.
- Why not put...
"unhappy situation"?
That sounds about right, yeah.
Right.
"Unhappy".
Er... "Bring the attention to
my unhappy situation"
- Full stop.
- Yeah.
"To be honest with you,
what I'm after"
"is a possible date of release."
- Er... Shall I underline that bit?
- No, I wouldn't. No.
Er... "From the age of ten,
because I've got no family,
"I've been locked away
in some institution or other,
"under this or that act,
and I don't think it's fair, sir.
"I am not a sex maniac,
nor a m*rder*r,
"nor am I not a danger
to the public like what they say.
"I have been more than punished
for what I did.
"Yours sincerely, Micky Dixon."
Yeah, there is...
Those last two bits, they need something.
Er...
They just don't sound right to me.
Are you sure we are going
about this the right way?
How d'you mean?
Dixon is a well established nutter,
isn't he?
Frankly,
I'd feel a lot better
if we had some armed backup
before calling anywhere.
I mean, what if he is
at one of his friends'?
Why don't we try and talk to him
into coming quietly?
I feel better already.
Is that before he shoots us
or after?
Micky never was one
who use shooters.
More like a club hammer.
Or an 'atchet.
If he doesn't want to come quietly,
we don't argue.
We simply let him do
a toesy.
'Cos our report will say
that we did our best to restrain him,
And it will question the fact
that we failed - heroically, of course.
Course.
And if asked
why we didn't request backup,
we were simple making routine
inquiries when, to our surprise, etc, etc.
- What's the point?
- The point, Jones,
is, that this way,
we're seen to be doing our duty
with a lot less chance
of getting hurt.
???
He is not gonna feel unduly threatened
with just two of us fronting him,
cos he knows
he can walk right through us.
But if he feels threatened,
like any other animal,
he's likely to get violent.
And personally, I don't want
to be around when he does,
- and I know you don't. Right?
- Right.
Heroics are
for mugs and wallies.
[GLASS BROKEN]
And don't bother coming back,
you good-for-nothing slag!
Stay with that bloody wh*re,
you b*stard!
[BABY CRYING INSIDE]
Coppers as well.
That's all I bloody need!
[GLASS SHATTERS]
Will you ask her
if we can take a look around inside...
or shall I?
Took your bloody time,
didn't you?
Has your noble profession
stagnated to such an extent
that not even the word "scoop"
can stir you to enthusiasm?
For God sake, Arthur.
What the hell is all this about?
Shush, shush.
You can't be too careful.
What sort of bloody no man's land
is this?
Can we no' go to the pub
for a wee drink?
No, too many ears, John.
Too many ears.
If you're thirsty,
stick your beak in there.
Arthur, it's a drink I want,
not a bath.
Come on, let's walk.
Jacket looks tasty.
Oh, for God's sake, Arthur.
What is this?
Have you found Martin Bormann camping
on Shepherd's Bush Green, or something?
Pay a lot of money for a story
like that, would they, the papers?
You're not serious.
Not Martin Bormann,
no, but...
another notorious criminal
at large.
For example, one
Micky Dixon.
Just...
just having a workout.
- Er... Did you post the letters?
- Yeah, up west.
This should last us
a couple of days.
Well, maybe.
[GIGGLES]
Here, I was trying something
when you were out.
See what you think, eh?
Amazing.
Look, all we're talking about
is an interview
with one of the country's
most wanted.
I mean, any the nationals would name
five figures sum for that kind of exclusive.
- They'd have to.
- Is this one of your wee hustles, Arthur.
Do you really know
where Dixon is?
Let's say I know a man who knows
a man who can make the arrangements.
What are you telling me for?
I'm only a local hack!
You are a friend, John.
Look, what we have here
is a very sensitive situation,
which has got to be handled
with the utmost circumcision.
Now, what I need is someone I can trust,
with contacts in Fleet Street,
who will not betray a confidence -
i.e. keep my name out of it.
- Oh, yeah, naturally.
- Yeah.
MAN: Push off!
This has got to be
a waste of time, Guv.
Who's next on that list?
Bernie Beattie.
I can't see him getting involved,
but we'll give him a tug.
I can see it now, John.
Two-page spread. No, no, no, four.
"EXCLUSIVE: My Own Story,
by Mad Micky,
"as Told to that Intrepid Reporter
John Anker."
Well, think where it might lead,
John.
Your own column
on The Guardian.
Look. What you want to do
is play up the beast-at-bay angle.
No, no, no, don't do that,
he might not appreciate that.
Arthur,
I'm not interested.
Not interested?
It's nothing personal,
Arthur.
It's not a bad story,
I'll give you that.
It's just that I'm...
I'm too old for ambition,
and I'm too young to retire.
I'm quite happy just to coast along
on court reports and local gossip.
I do not want
any more pressure.
I do not believe I'm hearing this.
I mean, you're younger than me...
well, almost...
and I'm offering you
the scoop of the decade,
probably of the century,
and you are not interested.
Arthur.
Give this guy a ring.
He's a good reporter.
But he's a ruthless b*stard.
Has to be to survive
Fleet Street.
And you watch your step,
cos these guys would cross their
own mother to cop a good story.
Much appreciated, John.
Much appreciated.
Can we have that drink now?
Well, that's very kind of you.
Why not? Ta.
I'll pay you back, Deb.
I'll get hold of some dough somehow
and I'll pay you back.
- What for?
- Well, the food and drink.
Putting me up and that.
I don't want any money
from you, Micky.
That's always been your problem.
- What?
- Doing people favours.
You wouldn't be in this spot now if you
weren't so keen on doing people favours.
Don't know what you mean.
Doesn't matter.
I can't see nothing wrong
in doing a good turn for mates.
Yeah, nice mates...
mates who buy you a drink,
tell you what a terrific bloke you are,
then ask you
to beat someone up
cos it's easier
than doing it themselves.
- It ain't like that.
- It IS like that, Micky!
And it's about time
you realised it.
And for what?
To be one of the chaps?
Oh, leave off, Deb.
Micky, you're a right bloody innocent.
D'you know that?
Keep it down. Keep it down.
We don't want the whole world to know.
I thought that's exactly
what your plan was.
Don't start that again.
If you want to help the boy,
this is the only way.
- I don't know so much.
- Terry,
have I achieved eminence and respect
on the manor by being a mug?
No, I haven't.
Look, I've got a meeting
with a top journalist,
number one man in Fleet Street.
I don't mess with the second division,
Terry. You know that.
Have a look.
It's Cheerful Charlie.
It's the Old Bill.
TV: That's the way it goes!
That's the news tonight. Good night.
TERRY: I've told you before,
I haven't seen him
for at least five years,
right?
And I certainly haven't heard anything
since I last saw you.
The thing is, Terry,
we have information now
that a lorry driver dropped him off
quite near your place.
Well, it is his manor, isn't it?
It's only logical he'd turn up
there sometime, innit?
Yeah, more than likely.
Of course, I...
I never knew the man personally.
I believe he was quite tasty
at the boxing game.
Misdirected talent.
Very sad. Very sad.
It might be very sad for someone
if he's not captured soon.
This is true.
Someone like that on the loose,
not safe to walk the streets.
Erm... Get you and your colleague
another drink, Sarge.
Down to me, of course.
Come on.
While you're in a generous mood,
I'll have a vodka and slimline.
Not that generous, Arthur.
Don't worry, Terry.
You ain't on a suspended.
They're just groping around.
It's routine.
No sweat.
Hello, Arthur.
Terry.
Ah. Hello, Freddie.
How's it going?
Was that the Old Bill I just saw,
making themselves busy?
Yeah.
Sad, isn't it?
Even the filth
don't want to talk to you.
Yeah, it was, Freddie.
Still looking for Micky,
I suppose?
Micky?
Oh, I thought you liked
to read the papers, Arthur.
Oh, THAT Micky! Mad Micky.
Oh, yeah, I believe they did...
say something about...
Personally, I never knew the man.
- Didn't you used to manage him?
- Ruin him, you mean.
That's right, Arthur.
Well...
let's hope they don't get any joy...
and the boy
gets a little taste of freedom.
Eh, Terry?
What do you want to take that attitude for?
You know the man's a lunatic.
The man
is a no-good ponce.
He's a wrong'un.
Now, get us another drink.
Micky?
What?
I hope everything works out
all right. You know?
Yeah.
Thanks, Deb.
Oh, what the hell.
Come on.
It's all right, Micky. I understand.
It's been a long time.
[KNOCKING]
Bloody hell!
'It's OK, Deb, it's me,
Terry.'
Quick, it's Terry. Get up.
[HE CHUKCLS]
Oh, turn it in! It's Terry!
Get dressed.
- 'Deb, are you there?'
- Yeah, just coming.
- Is everything all right?
- Yeah, sure.
- You had me worried for a minute.
- Wotcher, Tel!
- Sleep well?
- Terrific.
Good. Good.
I, er...
I'm just going to make coffee.
Your letter seems popular.
- Yeah?
- Look at that, front page.
The slags!
They're still calling me Mad Micky! Look!
It sells papers, don't it?
I did try to tell you.
What?
That you're wasting your time
with that approach.
Still, there's one here
that's a bit sympathetic.
- Yeah?
- Yeah.
"Dixon's request for understanding."
Look,
the reason I came round was
to tell you a pal of mine's
had an idea.
- Let me get this right, Mr Daley.
- Arthur. Please call me Arthur.
OK, Arthur.
You're saying, for a price,
you can make contact with Dixon
and arrange for him
to interview exclusively, right?
In a nutshell, John.
In a nutshell.
And presumably you know the law
on this sort of thing?
Well, I'm not exactly conversant
with the small print.
I'm more acting
like a middleman.
I'm... I'm what you might call..
a bipartisan agent.
Yeah. I was thinking more of the law
as it affects me and my newspaper.
Ah.
What's he like,
this pal of yours?
Arthur?
Sound enough.
- He does tend to go over the top.
- Yeah, well over.
- He wouldn't get me nicked, would he?
- No, he wouldn't do that.
Not on purpose, anyway.
[LAUGHTS]
No, no.
Look, the thing is,
if he can organise it
to both our advantage,
it ain't a bad plan, is it?
It's a great way
to get some going-away money
without getting involved
in villainy.
But, Mick, it's your decision.
Yeah.
Let's just say for the minute
that I am interested,
and that I can get my editor
interested.
There's a number of things
we have to establish,
that's forgetting
the legal arguments for now.
- Of course, John. Of course.
- The the first is,
and no disrespect intended,
Arthur,
but I don't know you
from a bar of soap.
- Oh, Jimmy. Arthur.
- Oh! Ta.
And we have hoax situations
on the street every day.
Hoax? Oh, no, no.
I'm well respected, John.
Very well respected.
- My word is my bond. Ask anyone.
- Yeah, I'm sure it is.
But nevertheless,
I have to make sure.
I mean, after all, one of your noble
callings stuck me into you.
Well, that is,
arranged for me to contact you.
- May I?
- Certainly.
I mean, Johnny Anker
is one of your own.
He'll vouch for my credentials.
I understand your caution, John.
But stand on me, this is kosher.
Yeah, I'm sure it is, Arthur.
But my editor is a bit of a sceptic.
Now he's going to want proof
that you know where Dixon is.
That's without you actually telling us,
if you take my meaning.
- Well, no, I don't quite.
- Well, I mean,
if we actually know precisely
where he is,
we are bound by law
to inform the police.
- And none of us want that.
- Definitely not. Definitely not.
No, no. The body in question
would not appreciate that at all.
- No.
- How can you interview him if...
There's ways round things, Arthur.
I shouldn't have to tell you that.
But first, we must establish
for my editor
- that you do have access to Dixon.
- No problem. I'll get him to ring him.
No, that won't do.
A voice on a phone could be anybody.
But the pictures, say of him holding
today's newspaper or tomorrow's,
that would help.
Or better yet, a video.
- Video.
- Mm.
It's a good job Debbie ain't here.
She'd go bleeding spare.
Why? He's standing against the wall.
It could be anybody's flat.
Where did you get this gear, anyway?
I hired it, didn't I?
At considerable expense, I might say.
How d'you want me to hold it,
Arthur?
Oh, sorry, Mr Dixon.
Just so's I can see it.
Hold it up a bit. Up a bit.
Up.
No, no, no, down.
Down.
Look, that's it there. Lovely.
That's it.
- What about the sound?
- The what?
The sound. I mean, if he's talking,
presumably you want to hear it, don't you?
Don't, Terry, please.
Mr Dixon and me
have got to concentrate.
This is highly technical equipment,
with which I am fully cognisant.
Where is the microphone?
- There is the microphone.
- Oh.
- Is this supposed to be like this?
- Look, I know, I know!
Don't want... Oh!
Don't want our voices on the tape.
Just a precautionary measure
until I have worked out
what they call in the movie business
the proper frame-up.
What am I supposed to say?
- Well, you know, it's just...
- Action!
- Action?
- Oh, cut it.
- Cut what?
- Stop the thing.
Well, what do you think?
You talked to the man.
- What do YOU think?
- It could be a goer.
So far, I've checked his car registration,
his home address and his credit rating.
His credit rating is
a bit dicey,
but it would be with a character
like 'Call Me Arthur'.
If there is anything in it,
I don't need to tell you
we need to go carefully.
There is someone
I do know on his territory
who's bound to know a
full strength of averyone.
What sort of money
is he talking about?
- Telephone numbers.
- Ha!
Offer him 500 up front,
if he proves to your satisfaction
he's in a position to give us
an exclusive with Dixon.
Put him in Promised Land
for the rest
and we'll see
how we go from there.
Right.
That jacket's a bit sudden,
isn't it?
Yeah.
So's Arthur Daley.
This could be your ticket to freedom,
Mr Dixon. Stand on me.
- What about the money?
- Maximum publicity.
Your own story,
in your own words.
- Arthur, the money.
- Two, minimum four pages,
in your actual
national newspaper.
Top journalist,
sympathetic to your case.
I mean, who knows?
This could lead to a Queen's pardon.
That'd be right handy, Arthur!
Arthur, the money.
And the arrangements.
More than right handy, Mr Dixon.
More than right handy.
Oi, listen. Listen.
You're not going anywhere
with that tape
until you told us about the money
and the arrangements you've made.
- And I mean it.
- Terry, what is the matter with you?
Excuse us, Mr Dixon.
Look, negotiations are in progress,
but nothing can be settled
until my friend in Fleet Street
has bona fide evidence
for his editor
of Mr Dixon's availability
through my good offices.
And that means this.
Your "friend in Fleet Street"
is a total stranger,
who could be setting Micky up.
And you.
Terry, I'm surprised at you.
How long have you known me?
What am I,
some sort of a mug?
Do you think I'd put that boy
deliberately on offer?
Sorry, Mr Dixon.
No, the geezer's a mug, John.
Lives in the past.
Chances are, he's just trying
to corner you for a few quid.
So you think
I ought to leave it out?
No.
I mean, it's possible.
He knows enough faces.
Got a lemon on the firm
that used to be a pal of Micky's.
Could be right.
Well, thanks anyway, Freddie.
I appreciate that. And, er...
- for yourself.
- Oh, no, no, no, John. Please.
We come from the same street.
Don't insult me.
Your mum and my mum
still go to bingo together.
All right, Freddie.
Thanks.
I'll tell you what,
see what the bold Arthur
comes up with and...
and get in touch.
Maybe you and me can...
sort out something together.
All right.
Yeah, well, it's, it's like
what I put in the letter, innit?
It's all been a... a...
Yeah, a distortion of the facts,
and I just want an opportunity to
put my side of things for a change.
Tell it like it is, you know.
Er... I've been treated very unfair...
unfairly...
by the... by the authorities,
been treated very unfairly
by the authorities,
and I'm not mad,
and I don't want spend the rest
of my life tucked up in prison
and die there an old man,
without the chance...
Well, that's all I got to say
for now.
Was that all right?
That's very good, Arthur.
It's very good.
Thank you very much.
I think we can come
to some sort of arrangement.
Naturally, any financial arrangement
must be negotiated through my editor
and must remain
strickly confidential.
Say no more, John.
Say no more.
Of course, there is the little
matter of upfront expenses,
which have been
and will be incurred.
Yes, and I am authorised
to give you 500 now
with whatever figure is agreed
upon at the appropriate time.
That seems very fair, John.
Very fair.
Of course, you realise I personally
will not touch a penny of this money.
Of course, Arthur.
Still, as a businessman,
you'd be silly to ignore the financial
possibilities of this, wouldn't you?
- I would?
- Well, I mean,
look at the long-running
Ronnie Biggs saga.
Films, books, whatever.
Doesn't take much working out.
What, you mean me become a sort of
literary agent for the infamous?
Yeah. Why not?
Why not?
I like it, John.
I like it very much.
I mean, it makes a lot of sense.
Film rights,
bestsellers.
It could be big.
Could be very big.
You know, Deb,
what with the...
doing all that bird and that,
I have never really had
a regular girl, like.
You and I aren't so very different,
Micky.
Hello, Arthur.
Hello, Freddie.
Erm, just going in for a...
You going in?
- A bit early for me, Arthur.
- Ah.
As a matter of fact, I've just come
to have a little chat with you.
Oh. What about?
Nice motors, them Jags.
Oh! Yeah.
- I've got a nice grey one
- I find the Merc is more comfortable,
Right? Personally.
Come on.
I'll give you a demonstration.
Me know
where Micky Dixon is?
You must be joking, Freddie.
I don't even know the geezer.
You know how I hate violence,
Arthur.
Nothing more distressing
than seeing a middle-aged man
with his kneecaps
nailed to the floor.
[BRAKES SQUEAL]
Oh!
DAVE: Arthur's been on the blower.
He sounded upset.
- Upset? What about?
- He didn't say.
He just asked me to tell you
to wait here till he arrives.
His motor's outside.
Where is he?
I wondered that myself,
Terry.
I wonder
what he's up to now, then.
Don't know why you didn't come to me
in the first place, Micky.
You want a bit of help,
who better to ask?
Yeah, well, I didn't want to give you
any unnecessary agg, Freddie.
I mean, I figured you'd be
one of the first the Old Bill would pull.
Anyway,
don't worry about it.
Arthur came to me
and suggested I help...
sort things out for youself.
So you get your bits and pieces
together,
and we'll be on our way.
Don't listen to him, Micky.
Arthur wouldn't go to him.
He's up to something.
Birds, Micky.
What do they know?
We go back a long time.
- Would I put you in it?
- No, it's all right, Debbie.
Freddie's one of the chaps.
Anyway, if Arthur says it's all right...
You're a fool, Micky.
A bloody fool!
I mean, the man's a lunatic!
What else could I do?
You didn't have to tell him
where Micky was.
I was in danger
of being crippled for life.
Nails through the kneecaps!
A wheelchair job!
Cut down in my prime.
You tell him, Dave.
Where are we going, then,
Freddie?
Down to the coast,
Micky.
Get you safely abroad,
sort out the meet
with this journalist friend of mine.
It's all right, isn't it?
Oh, it's well appreciated, Freddie.
Well appreciated.
Turn it in, Deb.
No-one's blaming you.
I tried telling him,
but he wouldn't listen.
I didn't know
what else to do.
Yeah, I know.
Here.
[SOBBING]
Come on, Debs.
Try not to be too upset.
I tried ringing you
at the Winchester, but...
Dave said you were
already on the way.
Yeah.
Nah, if anything,
I blame myself.
- Bloody Arthur!
- Oh, no, be fair.
It wasn't really his fault,
in the circumstances.
That slag Baker
really does hurt people.
What I can't figure it how the ponce
knew Arthur was involved.
Well, I'm sorry to hear that as well,
Arthur.
I know my editor will be.
Yeah,
I agree.
The tape? Will I think the 500
will compensate for that, don't you?
Yeah.
Well, there's no reason we can't...
Sure.
Sure.
Yeah.
Thanks anyway.
How long do you need with Dixon
before I contact the police?
This is diabolical.
Diabolical!
This is treachery,
deception and betrayal.
Diabolical.
Eh? It's a wicked old world
all right, Arthur.
But you told me
this man was sound!
Ah, no, no, no, Arthur.
I said he was a good reporter,
- but watch your step.
- Listen to this! Listen to this!
"Thinking he was to meet
someone anonymous,
who had information
regarding Dixon's whereabouts,
it came as something
of a surprise to this reporter
to find Mad Micky himself
waiting for him."
Diabolical.
And you call this Judas a friend?
Not a friend, Arthur.
A colleague in my...
noble profession.
Remember.
God knows
what Terry's going to say.
Slags!
- Ponces and slags, all of 'em.
- My sentiments exactly, Terry.
I don't know.
You try to help somebody
as you pass along,
conducting an of honest business,
and what do you get?
A knife in the back.
Grands, I could have got.
- For Micky, of course.
- Of course.
Just leave it out,
will you, Arthur?
None of us came out of this
too bright.
Micky must be well sick.
Don't be too hard on yourself, Tel.
Micky'll know
it ain't down to you.
Tell you what,
I'm going to claim that Baker.
No, no, that would be ill-advised,
my son. Not at all clever.
A minder with no kneecaps
is a minder with no work.
He's right, Tel.
If you thump Baker,
there's dozens of hooligans
he can call on to get you.
Hello, hello, hello.
I see you got your man,
Mr Chisholm.
Very comforting to know
the thin blue line is out there,
efficient and vigilant as ever.
He's got more rabbit
than Watership Down.
Ha!
Oh, Dave!
There's a coincidence.
- What's that, Sergeant?
- Interesting jacket Micky's wearing.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, that's...
that is a coincidence.
Now, I wonder
where he got hold of that.
I don't know.
Could be anywhere.
[MURMURED CONVERSATION]
Ain't they?
They're all in fashion, ain't they?
Chisholm has
a disturbingly suspicious nature.
There's no point hanging around
just to be asked awkward questions.
Oh, my good Gawd.
Something on your mind, Terry?
Yeah, I was just thinking,
you know, you wear glasses,
you must have bad eyes.
You ought to have 'em out.
Ha, ha! Just his joke, Freddie.
He don't mean nothing by it.
That's very funny, Terry.
That's very humorous.
Pity so many comedians get to be
so unhappy in their personal lives.
The boy's upset.
- Oh. Upset, is he?
- Yeah. Well...
you know what it's like.
When plods start agging you,
you get a bit edgy, don't you?
Goodness me, is that the time?
Come on, Terry. We'll be late.
Leave it out, Arthur.
This slag knows what upset me.
You know, the last time someone
spoke to me like that, Terry,
was the last time they spoke.
You
are a scumbag.
Well, well.
This is a jolly little gathering.
Some problem, is there?
Oh, no.
No problem, Mr Chisholm.
- No problem at all.
- Seems to me, Jones,
what we have here,
if these gentlemen don't move on,
a clear case of obstruction
of a public highway.
Aye.
Something like that, Guv.
Well, we, ah, we wouldn't want
to break the law, Mr Chisholm.
Would we, Terry?
Arthur?
Don't worry, Arthur.
Every dogtooth has his day.
DENNIS WATERMAN:
"I Could Be So Good For You"
♪ If you want to
I'll change the situation
♪ Right people right time
♪ Just the wrong location
♪ I've got a good idea
♪ Just you keep me near,
I'll be so good for you
♪ I could be so good for you,
I'm gonna help you
♪ Love you like you want me to
♪ I'll do anything for you ooh-ooh
♪ I'll be so good for you
♪ I could be so good for you
♪ I'll do it like you want me to
♪ Love you like you want me to
♪ There ain't nothing
I can't go through ooh-ooh
♪ I'll be so good for you ♪
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